Jimmy Anderson moved to 598 Test wickets - and had three catches dropped in two overs - while the Pakistan captain Azhar Ali made a mighty 141 not out
Related: Pakistan's Azhar Ali buys himself time with show of boldness and assurance
Related: Azhar Ali's heroic century fails to save Pakistan from follow-on in third Test
When play resumes in the morning, Jimmy Anderson will need two wickets to reach 600 in Tests. It’s going to happen tomorrow, surely. Please join us then!
Stumps That’s the end of the day’s play, in fact. It’s been another good one for England, even though they had to work harder than some might have expected.
Bad light stops play The players came back on the field - including Azhar Ali, who did a Peter Taylor and moved himself up to open - but the umpires decided the light wasn’t playable. Azhar Ali laughs as he receives another ovation from the Pakistan balcony, this time for his 0-ball 0 not out.
The Pakistan captain Azhar Ali ends on 141 not out. He didn’t quite carry his bat, but he was at the crease from the third over of the innings until the 93rd. It was a mighty innings - defiant at first, breezy towards the end. After a few months of friction, the cricket bat is his friend again.
At the fourth attempt, a catch is taken to give Jimmy Anderson his 29th five-for in Tests. Naseem edged the ball low towards third slip, where Sibley moved smartly to his left to take the catch. Anderson is now on 598 Test wickets, and finishes the innings with figures of 23-3-56-5. England have enforced the follow-on.
92nd over: Pakistan 273-9 (Azhar 141, Naseem 0) Archer replaces Broad, who has left the field. Azhar turns down a single off the first delivery and then smacks the last for four. That at least means Anderson can start an over at Naseem Shah.
91st over: Pakistan 267-9 (Azhar 135, Naseem 0) Azhar jumps across his crease to whip Anderson’s last delivery for a single and keep the strike.
“Anderson will kill the next fielder to drop one,” says Andrew Goldsby. “It’s very funny to watch though. Like an Alex Ferguson presser when he had one on.”
90th over: Pakistan 266-9 (Azhar 134, Naseem 0) Azhar Ali plays a glorious on-drive for four off Broad. That might be the shot of the innings, and there have been a few. Later in the over, Broad gets an official warning for running on the pitch.
89th over: Pakistan 261-9 (Azhar 129, Naseem 0) It’s fair too say that James Anderson has a bit of a humour on - he’s had three catches dropped in two overs.
“Hi Rob,” says David Hindle. “Further to the Jofra question. At what point is it better for him to find form outside the Test team rather than within it? Is a complete break from Tests perhaps the better option at the moment? Also, Mark Wood surely has a claim to be allowed a chance again after his performances in South Africa. He hasn’t been given much of a run this summer. Pinning hopes on the magic pace duo for the next Ashes, and ignoring the other bowling riches for no good reason could be a very costly strategy, but I fear that’s beginning to influence decisions in this regard.”
A unique moment in Test cricket history. Azhar chips Anderson straight to mid-on, where Broad drops a simple catch. While Azhar tries to steal a single to keep the strike, and Anderson looks around for the hidden cameras, Broad picks up the loose ball and, mainly out of frustration, demolishes the stumps at the batsman’s end. That was very funny.
88th over: Pakistan 260-8 (Azhar 129, Abbas 0) Azhar Ali starts this innings straining for form. After a few hours at the crease, he can now do almost as he pleases. He belts Broad for consecutive boundaries, though there is almost a weird twist when he survives a run-out referral. Azhar dragged a ball from Broad onto his body and set off for a quick single, only to be sent back by Abbas. Broad kept running and hit the stumps from close range, but Azhar was just back home in time.
“Michael Gough’s performance starting to get a bit scary now - I am suspecting some sort of filthy Faustian bargain,” says Brian Withington. “Buttler looks like he is a counter-signatory, too.”
87th over: Pakistan 252-8 (Azhar 120, Abbas 0) Azhar Ali is dropped by Burns off Anderson. It was a sharp chance at second slip when Azhar nicked a big drive, and the ball burst throught for four. Just as Buttler’s batting has affected his keeping, so Burns might well have taken that three weeks ago.
That neat little theory has just been jiggered: Crawley has dropped Abbas at fourth slip. That was a simpler chance, relatively speaking, and Anderson’s face is a picture.
86th over: Pakistan 247-8 (Azhar 116, Abbas 3) The forecast for the next two days is iffy, and this is the last Test until goodness knows, so England will surely enforce the follow on onces they take the last two wickets.
“In fairness, Rob,” says Matt Dony, “are there any situations at all where one of your first instincts wouldn’t be to go and talk to Eoin Morgan?”
Jos Buttler isn’t just having a day out; he’s having the whole weekend. Broad rammed in a short ball that Afridi fended down the leg side, and Buttler leapt to his right to take a spectacular one-handed catch. That was even better than the earlier one to dismiss Rizwan.
Another brilliant catch from Jos Buttler!
85th over: Pakistan 247-7 (Azhar 116, Shaheen 3) Azhar survives a huge LBW shout from Anderson. That looked plumb, at least until I realised Michael Gough was the umpire. UltraEdge confirms the ball shaved the outside edge as Azhar tried to work to leg. Even by Michael Gough’s standards, that is a sensational piece of umpiring! Honestly, that’s as good as it gets.
84th over: Pakistan 246-7 (Azhar 116, Shaheen 2) “In relation to Dave Hindle’s queries regarding Archer’s bowling,” says Tom van der Gucht, “could it be said that all the hopping and weaving he draws out from the batsmen builds the pressure that allow the bowlers at the other end to take wickets? That’s what I’d be telling myself if I was Archer...”
That theory, persuasive though it is, relies on him making batsmen hop all summer, which hasn’t been the case. He’s bowled poorly by his standards, though there are a few reasons for that.
83rd over: Pakistan 244-7 (Azhar 114, Shaheen 2) Azhar takes a single off the fourth ball, which allows Anderson two balls at Shaheen. It’s almost enough, but Shaheen plays and misses at a lovely outswinger.
82nd over: Pakistan 243-7 (Azhar 113, Shaheen 2) Broad, bowling round the wicket to the left-hander, beats Shaheen with a monstrous delivery that straightens and kicks so sharply as to almost knock Jos Buttler off his feet.
“It’s puerile, but I must beg for help,” says Meghan Purvis. “We’re in a pub with no sound on, and thus no explanation for the repeated zooms on Buttler’s box. Did it play a part in his catch, or are we debating whether there’s a Spinal Tap situation happening in his trousers?”
Good old new ball. Yasir has gone, caught smartly at second slip by Joe Root. He was surprised by a good delivery from Broad that popped from a length and took a big deflection off the outside edge. Root did the rest with a two-handed reaction catch above his head.
81st over: Pakistan 241-6 (Azhar 113, Yasir 20) This has been a new-ball pitch, so England will expect to wrap the innings up in the next hour. With that in mind,Jimmy Anderson returns to the attack. His third ball zips past Yasir, who then flick-pulls jauntily for four with one foot off the ground. Shot!
“Is there a bit of a pattern emerging with Jofra’s bowling?” wonders David Hindle. “Spectacular, ultra-fast, batsmen ducking, diving, weaving, and... no wickets taken. Aussie quicks certainly do this differently. How exactly? He has the pace, but something else must be wrong at this point, surely? What is it exactly?
He’s just out of form and having a bit of an identity crisis, not helped but some well-meaning but hamfisted management. Don’t forget he took 22 wickets at 20 in four Ashes Tests, including one JFK spell and another couple of epics. If everyone holds their nerve, he’ll be fine. The first thing I would do, if I were Joe Root and Chris Silverwood, is talk to Eoin Morgan about the situation.
80th over: Pakistan 236-6 (Azhar 113, Yasir 15) Yasir drives Woakes nicely down the ground for three, then Azhar square drives him beautifully for four. Time for the second new ball.
79th over: Pakistan 228-6 (Azhar 107, Yasir 13) Yasir edges Bess between Buttler and Root at slip for four. Root, who was standing quite wide, moves to a more orthodox slip position to get a better view of the horse’s backside.
78th over: Pakistan 220-6 (Azhar 107, Yasir 5)
77th over: Pakistan 218-6 (Azhar 106, Yasir 4) The timing of that wicket is perfect for England as they can now attack the tail with the second new ball. Jimmy Anderson (597*) could yet reach 600 in this innings.
76th over: Pakistan 215-6 (Azhar 105, Yasir 2) The change in Jos Buttler since that matchwinning innings in the first Test has been fascinating to watch. We’ve seen it a million times before but it never becomes boring.
A bonus wicket for England, and a brilliant catch from Jos Buttler. Rizwan tickled a poor delivery from Woakes down the leg side, where Buttler swooped to his left to grab the ball in the webbing of his left glove. He’d have dropped that three weeks ago.
75th over: Pakistan 213-5 (Azhar 105, Rizwan 53) Bess has switched to round the wicket, with a slip and leg slip in place. With Pakistan cruising, it wouldn’t be a bad time for Joe Root to bring himself on at the other end.
74th over: Pakistan 210-5 (Azhar 104, Rizwan 51) Now that Azhar Ali has reached his hundred, attention turns to the second new ball. It’s due in six overs’ time, and England sure need it. For now, it’s drinks.
“Surely your reply to Pete Salmon refers to an appeal going against Gough by the batting side,” says Brian Ross, “and Pete specified appeals by the fielding side…”
73rd over: Pakistan 210-5 (Azhar 104, Rizwan 51) It’s there! Azhar reaches three figures with a pristine cover drive for four and waves his bat to the sky. Who needs a crowd: there was a huge cry of celebration from the Pakistan balcony as the ball pierced the infield and they knew their captain had done it. That’s such an impressive innings, full of clarity, determination and skill. He’s scored 17 Test hundreds; he knows how to bat.
72nd over: Pakistan 204-5 (Azhar 99, Rizwan 50) Chris Woakes replaces Jofra Archer, and Azhar clips him confidently to the square-leg boundary to move to 99. I pity the fool who begrudes Azhar Ali a century - but the fool almost gets his wish when Azhar comes this close to edging a beautiful delivery from Woakes. Wasim Akram reckons it was a hint of reverse swing that beat Azhar there. Who made him the authority on reverse swing?
“You mentioned Michael Gough being an eerily good umpire,” says Pete Salmon. “Further research shows he hasn’t had the fielding side overturn a decision against him since 2016. Since them 33 reviews, 29 struck down, four umpire’s call. Are we watching the Bradman of umpires here? It’s getting to the point spectators might go to games just to watch him umpire.”
71st over: Pakistan 200-5 (Azhar 94, Rizwan 50) Rizwan swishes Bess over wide mid-off for six to reach a spunky half-century from 103 balls. He’s such an impressive cricketer: a brilliant keeper, a chipper, intelligent batsman and a hard-nosed competitor.
70th over: Pakistan 193-5 (Azhar 94, Rizwan 44) Archer has gone around the wicket now to ram bouncers over the head of Rizwan. This is like watching a parody. Whatever Archer’s faults this summer, and I’m not suggesting he’s blameless, England are handling him dismally.
69th over: Pakistan 192-5 (Azhar 93, Rizwan 44)
68th over: Pakistan 186-5 (Azhar 90, Rizwan 41) Root has decided that Archer should bowl some rough stuff at Rizwan, with no slips and men scattered everywhere. This is confused nonsense, I’m afraid; Archer has bowled eight of the last 11 overs at this end. It’s not short, it’s not sharp, but it is sh- [that’ll do! - ed]
“I think Ofqual would have been better off never using a grading algorithm and just getting Michael Gough in,” says Brian Withington. “And then refusing any appeal as inherently pointless. The man is an invincible machine.”
67th over: Pakistan 185-5 (Azhar 90, Rizwan 40) Bess replaces Broad, and Azhar sweeps a couple to move into the nineties.
66th over: Pakistan 183-5 (Azhar 88, Rizwan 40) A short ball from Archer is uppercut easily for four by Rizwan. Archer’s promising start to the innings is starting to evaporate. Since the end of last summer he has taken 16 wickets at 45 apiece, which would have been unthinkable during those blistering Ashes spells. Scott Roberts has a theory as to what’s gone wrong.
“I realise that I’m going over old ground here,” he says, “and the readers are probably bored silly of me bringing this up, but I STILL don’t know why Jofra has changed his release position at the crease and it’s driving me bananas, as it’s clearly affecting his performance.
“It’s easy to go back to last summer on the YouTubes and you will see he’s right next to the stumps bowling wicket to wicket, but he’s now defaulting to angling the ball into the right hander from the middle of the crease (leaking far more runs down the leg side), almost a la Craig White, which is something definitely not to be emulated. And to this day I have not seen/heard either Sky or TMS mention it even as a passing comment, even though this is glaringly obvious to me. I’m starting to contemplate ripping a tissue I’m so frustrated that Jofra is a shadow of his former incredible best.”
65th over: Pakistan 177-5 (Azhar 88, Rizwan 34) Rizwan clunks a pull off Broad that loops into the leg side for a single. Broad, though not at his penetrative best, has been very economical: 15-4-23-0.
64th over: Pakistan 176-5 (Azhar 88, Rizwan 33) It’s getting gloomy in Southampton. The lights are on, the alarm rang loud and Azhar Ali didn’t see a thing as that delivery from Archer bounced past his outside edge. His eyesight was more effective when he belted the ball of the over for four.
“Good afternoon Rob,” says Kim Thonger. “I’m sorry but I must take issue with Charles Sheldrick. No self-respecting Somerset person would voluntarily drink Devon (or any other) cider, if Somerset cider is available. In a ghastly hypothetical situation where no Somerset cider is to be found and one finds oneself in a state of advanced inebriation wishing to maintain a steady equilibrium one MIGHT take a few sips of non-Somerset cider to avoid a dangerous drift into sobriety, but then and only then might it be given serious consideration.”
63rd over: Pakistan 170-5 (Azhar 84, Rizwan 32) Azhar survives a huge LBW appeal after being hit on the toe by a brilliant yorker from Broad. England have no reviews left after some indulgent nonsense earlier in the innings. Normally I would say that looked plumb - but the umpire who said not out was Michael Gough, and what is plumb anyway? Inevitably, replays show that Gough’s decision was correct; the ball was sliding past leg stump. He is an eerily good umpire.
62nd over: Pakistan 169-5 (Azhar 83, Rizwan 32) Archer also returns after tea, which is a bit of surprise given he was only out of the attack for four overs. The spells are supposed to be short and sharp, not the break between them. Rizwan hits a couple of classy boundaries, the first a cut stroke and the second a lovely straight drive.
61st over: Pakistan 161-5 (Azhar 83, Rizwan 24) Stuart Broad is going to start after tea. I’d imagine this will be a short spell, four overs maximum, probably to be followed by a longer one with the second new ball. Nothing much happens in the first over.
60th over: Pakistan 158-5 (Azhar 82, Rizwan 22) Bess produces a peach to beat Azhar Ali with the last ball before tea. Buttler fumbled the ball and the reactions hinted at a dropped catch; UltraEdge showed it hit the thigh but not the outside edge.
That ends a really good session for Pakistan. I’m not sure what it means for the match but Azhar Ali’s 82 not out - a proud, clear-headed innings - has increased his chances of staying as Test captain.
59th over: Pakistan 157-5 (Azhar 82, Rizwan 21) “Have you seen this?” says Charles Sheldrick. “Cider all round at tea time tomorrow methinks! Devon cider of course...”
Somerset are in serious form this summer, the Overtons in particular. Idiot question: would this be their first county championship or is it a completely separate trophy?
58th over: Pakistan 152-5 (Azhar 78, Rizwan 20) A nice stroke from Azhar, who guides Bess past point for three. He plays an even better one later in the over, whirling an emphatic sweep to the square-leg boundary. This is all very comfortable for Pakistan, who have responded superbly after slipping to 30 for four this morning.
57th over: Pakistan 144-5 (Azhar 71, Rizwan 19) None of us really care, and maybe we never will, but it could be that the result here will ultimately decide whether England qualify for the final of the inaugural World Test Championship. In 100 years’ time, historians will marvel at how apathetic we all were. Either that or Test cricket will be dead and the world will have ended, it could go either way.
56th over: Pakistan 143-5 (Azhar 70, Rizwan 19) Bess replaces Archer, who was again used in a four-over spell. I’m not completely sold on that tactic but it’s worth a try, especially given his slight identity crisis in recent Tests. Bess starts with a quiet over that is milked for a couple.
55th over: Pakistan 141-5 (Azhar 69, Rizwan 18) There is a bowling change, with Woakes replacing Anderson. He starts with a no-ball, only the third of his Test career, and then has a big LBW shout against Azhar Ali turned down by Michael Gough. I reckon there was an inside edge; not that it matters as England are out of reviews. Replays show it was kissing the leg bail, so it would have stayed with the on-field decision anyway. We’re none the wiser as to whether there was an inside edge.
“Time for the skipper to think outside the box-shaped envelope and bring himself on for a twirl,” says Ian Copestake. “Change the state of play.”
County latest You’ll have seen this, then.
Related: County cricket: Yorkshire v Lancashire, Surrey v Kent and more – live!
54th over: Pakistan 139-5 (Azhar 69, Rizwan 17) Rizwan jumps up to cut Archer crisply for three, and then Azhar Ali slams an excellent pull through square leg for four. It’s time for Bess I think, probably at Anderson’s end, because the seamers are getting very little help with the old ball. Excellent batting.
53rd over: Pakistan 132-5 (Azhar 65, Rizwan 14) Azhar back cuts Anderson elegantly for four more. This is such an important innings for Azhar, only his second 50+ score in eight Tests since becoming the regular captain. He gets some bonus runs later in the over because of a loose throw from Bess. Anderson has the face on; you know the one.
52nd over: Pakistan 122-5 (Azhar 56, Rizwan 13) A short ball from Archer hits Rizwan on the grille. He seems okay, though there’s a break in play while he is checked by the physio.Rizwan tried to sway out of the way at the last minute but it was too late and it rammed into his grille. He’s fine to continue and walks back to his crease with a smile on his face. The follow-up deliveries are fuller, straight and defended solidly by Rizwan. Though he remains wicketless, Archer has bowled with eye-catching menace in this innings.
51st over: Pakistan 122-5 (Azhar 56, Rizwan 13) Cheers Daniel, hello everyone. That new-ball spell from Jimmy Anderson looks even more valuable now, as batting is relatively comfortable against the old one. Azhar Ali has plenty of time to steer Anderson to third man for four. Given the circumstances, team and individual, he’s played really well.
50th over: Pakistan 117-5 (Azhar 52, Rizwan 13) It sort of feels like Archer’s on a countdown here, and I’m not feeling it, though I’m certain his body is. Priorities please Joe! Meanwhile, Azhar is coming on an innings, and when he’s offered some width, he climbs in, cutting hard to the fence. So Archer retorts with some short stuff, before one towards the pads it caressed through midwicket for four more, and that’s a very tenacious fifty for him. That’s also the end of my day – here’s Rob Smyth to coax you through the rest.
49th over: Pakistan 109-5 (Azhar 44, Rizwan 13) How far are England from being a proper Test outfit? The openers are functional, but if they can knock the shine off the ball, then what’s behind them is starting to look like something. Crawley is your ideal no3 in theory – he’s got the game to open, and the game to play in the middle-order, if he can find the consistency to match his talent – below him are proven players, though the captain could do with some runs, and the pace attack is a joke. Anyway, Anderson continues and Rizwan reminds us yet again that he won’t wait to be asked, slashing Anderson hard through backward point for four – I absolutely love watching him – the only runs from the over.
48th over: Pakistan 105-5 (Azhar 44, Rizwan 9) Right, Archer is back. Can he crank it up from the off, and give England four overs of pure him? His first is 83mph, but by his fourth he’s up at 87, only for Azhar to half-bat a boundary-four. That’s 600 Test runs for him, and the balcony applaud the achievement; there follow drinks.
“This is where your Stokes would come on and wipe the sleep from everyone’s eyes,” says Ian Copestake. “He’s probably doing run-ups in whichever NZ backyard he is currently in.”
47th over: Pakistan 101-5 (Azhar 40, Rizwan 9) Anderson wallops Rizwan on the thigh pad; there’s a strangulated appeal, but it was going down, I think, and England have already spaffed their reviews. But have a look! Rizwan nicks Anderson’s final delivery, which drops just short of Buttler. The cordon have been pretty close all day, so I don’t think they need to move – the pitch is still offering bounce. Anyway, maiden.
46th over: Pakistan 101-5 (Azhar 40, Rizwan 9) Does anyone love anything more than Stuart Broad loves taking wickets? He willpowers his second delivery into lifting for him, but Azhar manages to get his hands out of the road, just. He then raises his team’s hundred with a run-down behind square on the off side, and it’s probably about time for Archer.
45th over: Pakistan 99-5 (Azhar 38, Rizwan 9) Here’s Jimmy. Anderson is back, and Azhar takes his second ball for a single, then Rizwan helps one off his pads and around the corner for two. Meanwhile, what a stat this is from @WisdenCricket: “James Anderson has taken more Test wickets since turning 30 (329 @ 23.88) than all other England bowlers across the entirety of their careers, with the exceptions of Stuart Broad (511) and Ian Botham (383).”
“I suspect most, if not all, readers will be aware that I share a surname with an extremely famous former football player and coach,” says Phil Keegan. “Back in the late 70s, my younger brother, around 12 or 13 at the time, was playing in a school football match against another school and got into a spat with a player on the other team. It was almost certainly my brother’s fault, he was a bolshy little bastard. He still is actually. Anyway, the referee, who was from the other school, decided to book both the kids and asked for my brother’s name (there were no yellow and red cards back then). At this time teachers always referred to kids by their surnames only, so my brother told him his surname, upon which he was promptly sent off for insolence. When all the other kids in the team ran forward screaming that it really was his name, the referee, somewhat suspiciously, rescinded the sending off.”
44th over: Pakistan 96-5 (Azhar 37, Rizwan 7) As Broad charges through another maiden – his final delivery nips back and hits the back pad, but the umpire says no, even when the fingers start waggling – both Anderson and Archer stretch. I’m surprised we’ve not seen the former again, given this is the last Test of the summer and he doesn’t play limited overs. A reply then shows the impact of that final delivery was outside the line.
“Rizwan has only played eight tests so far,” says Adam Hirst, “which is amazing for a 28-year old of his quality. He actually looks like he might be worth a middle-order pick on his batting alone. Wish Sky would do a piece on his repertoire of extravagant tosses to first slip after taking leaves and playnmisses. If you haven’t noticed yet, they’re fabulously stylish, over his head, behind his back, one like a Catherine wheel after a diving take.. Don’t think we’ll see any more this series though.”
43rd over: Pakistan 96-5 (Azhar 37, Rizwan 7) Bess gives one some air and Azhar clatters it to the fence at square leg for four, then clumps four more through backward point. If he can make a score here, that will be something significant for the team to take home, because speculation over the skipper is an annoyance they can do without.
42nd over: Pakistan 88-5 (Azhar 29, Rizwan 7) Broad would quite like a wicket but has to make do with a maiden.
“I did like Shane Warne saying Root looks more like Ellen Degeneres every day,” says David Brown. “By the way , on the subject of names my grandfather had a valet called Mr Crease and a chauffeur named Plugs.”
41st over: Pakistan 88-5 (Azhar 29, Rizwan 7) Nasser notes that Buttler is staying down a little longer to Bess, which is what enabled him to take that catch. But then he misses one that turns, bounces and takes pad – he must be relieved there was no bat involved – and the batsmen run two leg byes. Rizwan, who looks an excellent cricketer, then decides he’s had enough of doing nothing, so clouts a sweep to the fence at backward square then, when Bess strays to leg, shovels three more around the corner.
40th over: Pakistan 79-5 (Azhar 29, Rizwan 0) It’s actually Broad who returns. He’s not been at his best in this innings and Azhar turns him into the on side for two, but his fifth delivery, a wobble seamer, is far too good, nipping away past the bat. In commentary, Strauss notes that the ability to take the ball past the outside edge is one he’s rediscovered this summer, and cites it as the principal reason for his success. That and simply being Stuart Expletive Broad, I guess.
“It’s all good having a legspinner,” says Yaser, “but unless you’re called Shane, you need certain surfaces to thrive. So far the Pakistani part-timers and now Bess, offies, have thrived. As Lyon has shown, there’s isn’t a substitute for good off-spin bowling.”
39th over: Pakistan 77-5 (Azhar 27, Rizwan 0) Bess is enjoying himself now, bowling to a slip and a short leg. Azhar turns his final delivery to the on side and they run one, the only scoring off the over. Surely we’ll see Anderson soon?
“I have just introduced my wife and daughter to the OBO,” says Michael Scott. “They are hooked and have two contributions:
38th over: Pakistan 76-5 (Azhar 26, Rizwan 0) Archer is back on, and he’s there at mid off to cut off a shove from Azhar; they run one.
“Obviously with a name like Salmon I try and avoid any Piscean stuff as an opening gambit, says Pete Salmon. “Generally my calls to call centres go ‘Salmon. Salmon. S A L M O N. No, not F, S. Salmon. Salmon. Like the fish.’
37th over: Pakistan 75-5 (Azhar 25, Rizwan 0) I like Bess, I must say – he seems to be made of the right stuff. He bowled well in the first Test of the summer, and though i wonder if he’s getting picked because of the batting and fielding, given a relative dearth of options, I think England are right to persevere with him, though Leach is a more obvious option against opponents with mainly right-handers. Wicket maiden.
And there we go! Bess tosses one up and hits the rough, with Fawad already forward, looking to attack. The ball turns, bounces, kisses the edge ... and Buttler takes a smart catch at almost shoulder-height.
37th over: Pakistan 75-4 (Azhar 25, Fawad 22) Athers noted, during Bess’ last over, that these are perfect conditions for him: drying pitch, footmarks to hit, runs on the board, middle-order under pressure....
36th over: Pakistan 75-4 (Azhar 25, Fawad 22) Woakes continues; he’s doing well really, because the other quicks look likelier. Anyhow, Archer is off the pitch for the now, with James Bracey replacing him, and we rattle through another maiden.
“Maybe Mr Starbuck was just lucky,” emails Rollo Treadway. “I’ve never been offered even the tiniest hotel discount (and I’m even related to them, if very distantly), although my brother did once steal a branded ice bucket. Not sure five-finger discount is quite the same thing, though.”
35th over: Pakistan 75-4 (Azhar 25, Fawad 22) A maiden from Bess, and that’s drinks.
“While I can only sympathise with Phil West’s predicament,” says Wayne Trotman, “from 1981 when I came to Turkey, until the arrival of Wayne Rooney on the scene and the establishment of the correct pronunciation, for many years I was called ‘Winer’, ‘Whiner’, ‘Vain’, and ‘Weigh-in’.”
34th over: Pakistan 75-4 (Azhar 25, Fawad 22) Woakes isn’t quite there today, and Azhar clips two off his first ball, directed towards the pads. They’re the only runs from the over, but England are letting this drift. The lead is down to a paltry 508.
“Your mention of Breaking Bad following Tony White’s aftershave anecdote brought to mind this product I encountered near the checkouts in Boyes. Who on earth watched that show and then thought: ‘I know what I want to smell of’?”
33rd over: Pakistan 73-4 (Azhar 23, Fawad 22) I’m slightly surprised Bess is bowling. On the one hand, he needs overs, and England need to see what he has. On the other, they’ve got four seamers and conditions are in their favour. One off the over, to Azhar through point, but not much threat.
32nd over: Pakistan 72-4 (Azhar 22, Fawad 22) No, here comes Woakesie. This is the thing with that Archer tactic: as we discussed before, sometimes it takes him a while to get going, and he’s been removed from the attack just as he found his groove. Perhaps this is a good lesson for him: hit it immediately. Anyway, two singles from the over, which is to say that this is becoming a really useful and gutsy partnership.
“Woakes will no doubt prove me wrong again,” says Felix Wood, “but the last few overs show again why he should not be given the new ball, even in favourable conditions. He just gives away too many runs.
31st over: Pakistan 70-4 (Azhar 21, Fawad 20) One off this latest Bess over, but here comes Jofra!
I’m impressed with the Starbuck free espresso method and suggest it might be adapted for indefinite future freeloading by having a number of fake IDs made and kept in one’s wallet in the name of Wagamama, McDonald and Nando. Which sounds like a multinational firm of solicitors by the way. I would say what larks but wizard wheeze is my go to expression, as per Jennings & Darbishire, such splendid fellows.
30th over: Pakistan 69-4 (Azhar 21, Fawad 19) Let’s be real, that Bess over was just a placeholder till this next Archer one. He is absolutely flying in – his last was his quickest of the summer and this one looks even sharpe, every ball over 90mph. This is thrilling stuff, but Azhar gets himself down the other end thanks a leg bye and Fawad mistimes a pull for three. The partnership is 39, and Archer is getting vex.
29th over: Pakistan 65-4 (Azhar 21, Fawad 16) Woakes, who’s been wayward by his standards, is thanked; Bess comes on. You’ll be amazed to discover Warne thinks this is a wise ruse. Four off the over.
28th over: Pakistan 61-4 (Azhar 21, Fawad 12) That was a very interesting over from Archer, as the old Chinese curse would have it.
The ball brushed the shoulder. England are out of reviews.
I heard something, though I don’t think this is the standard the laws are seeking.
28th over: Pakistan 61-4 (Azhar 21, Fawad 12) After a single to Azhar, Archer’s around the wicket to Fawad; perhaps it’s time for some teeth music. And there’s a bouncer, 91mph – enjoy! – then a dot then another at 92mph. Fawad then leaps to fend off a rib-seeker – 93mph – ! – and the batsmen are allowed to sneak one. Archer, who was working over Fawad, is not pleased, but then another lifter appears to be edged behind There’s a noise for sure, and an appeal, but the umpire says no...
27th over: Pakistan 57-4 (Azhar 20, Fawad 11) In commentary, they’re spending time insulting each other’s appearance, which tells you that things have slowed down in the middle. Azhar, though, turns Woakes around the corner for two then pulls him for one, and I wonder at what point Anderson will return to complete his all-10.
“Years ago my mother worked in a bank,” says Alex McGillivray, “and would come home and regale us with stories of all kinds of weird, hilarious names - P. Sample, P. Brain, MT Wallett, Aaron Micock etc, but perhaps the best went like this:
26th over: Pakistan 56-4 (Azhar 17, Fawad 11) This is an iffy over from Archer, but his fifth ball is good, leaping off a length and addressing Faward in the midriff. “Not enough good ones,” says Warne, and he’s right. Maiden.
“When I first came to Turkey in 1987 (before internet and everyone with computers),” says Phil West, “I filled in a form to be in the Istanbul Phone Book – remember those? One small problem, Turkish does not have the letter W - although it did have a place on Turkish typewriters. Now that QWERTY is standard for computer companies this is no longer an issue, but I digress.
25th over: Pakistan 56-4 (Azhar 17, Fawad 11) Fawad squirts Woakes into the on side for one; I’m not sure what shot he was attempting there, but I’m certain it wasn’t the one that he played. A leg bye follows, then a leaping force wide of gully for two, and an edge through slip for three. Fawad is racking them up now!
24th over: Pakistan 49-4 (Azhar 17, Fawad 5) Archer delays taking off his jersey for as long as possible, as you might, then Azhar glances his loosener for four. He responds superbly, with an unexpected yorker – it’s far too good, squaring the batsman French-cricket style and bashing the pad. Archer thinks he’s got him, but his appeal is rejected and there’s no review – rightly so, because the ball was going down.
“Way way back at junior school,” says Tony White, “when ink was really ink and wells were topped up by the week’s ink monitor, in the term after Christmas a fellow oik brought a bottle of aftershave into school to dose around as his father had found it unserviceable.
23rd over: Pakistan 45-4 (Azhar 13, Fawad 5) The lights are on, the sky is grey, some swing bowling, to make the day, as Buddy Holly didn’t sing. And Woakes immediately finds some away movement, before a no ball and a three, caressed square by Azhar, make this the most profitable over of the day so far. Still, though, it’s heartening to see Ollie Pope charging and diving to save the boundary and prevent the lead from dwindling to to a mere 539.
“I once went into a Starbucks and gave them my surname,” says John Starbuck. “They didn’t believe me until I showed them ID, then gave me a large size espresso but only charged for a small one.”
It looks like it’ll be Woakes with the ball, England’s third-change opening bowler.
There are still 85 overs to be bowled in the day. Tea will be at 3.55pm BST, and we can play till 7.30 pm.
“A fair few years ago,” says Damian (with an ‘a’) Clarke, “I booked a hotel in Aberystwyth, and as usual, dictated ‘Clarke with an e’ to the receptionist on the phone. When we got there there was no booking for us, and as the hotel was full, we were forced to seek an alternative. Happily it turned out much nicer, but on arriving home after the holiday, I chased it up with the original. After a while, it was admitted that they had a booked no show, under the name of Clark Withany. My colleagues still call me Mr. Withany.”
Lucky you only gave a surname eh?
I once went into Starbucks and spelt out my surname. The cup had “James Deltaechobravo” scrawled on the side says James Debens. The cup had ‘James Deltaechobravo’ scrawled on the side.”
Amazing, must’ve felt like you were in this photo.
“Hi,” begins Paul Ward ominously.“‘What larks’ first appears in chapter 27, in Biddy’s letter to Pip.”
Telt.
Assuming there’s no more weather. The players are taking an early lunch.
“Regarding the old tale of a child swinging on a chair and breaking their neck,” says Ben O’Connell, “I can say with some certainty that it is alive and well. Having taught primary and secondary I’ve been guilty of using a version of it many a time; however the older students are wise to it now and understand why it’s said. Some go along with the charade, while others see it for the largely ineffective tool that it is.
Meanwhile, Jimmy may wear 613 but he’s the 614th player to play Test-match cricket for England. But I do like the poetry of him finishing with a total identical to a shirt number he wore for his whole career (and better than 9 in many ways!)”.
“‘[T]he subject of sarcastic schoolkids (over 21)’” says Ian Copestake, “made me wonder why they were still at school at such an advanced age.”
My exegesis is that we’re all schoolkids even once we’ve left school.
“Your York Notes haven’t led you too far astray,” says Adrian Armstrong. “From Chapter 57: ‘Which dear old Pip, old chap,’ said Joe, ‘you and me was ever friends. And when you’re well enough to go out for a ride - what larks!’
So in that context, the phrase anticipates future merriment. As in: “‘And when Jofra and Mark are fit enough to bowl together at the Gabba,’ said Joe...”.
Patrice Evra is a footballer, yes, but this isn’t really about football.
Related: Patrice Evra: 'Silence is a crime. You can’t be in silence any more'
“On the subject of sarcastic schoolkids (over 21),” says Adam Simpson, “a favourite saying round our way back in the day was, ‘I got this chair from Shackletons, you know’ whenever anyone had to sit on a particularly uncomfortable school chair. It was inspired by this classic TV advert. To give some cricketing context, we were used to experiencing discomfort, this being around the time of the 1989.”
Tangentially, is the swinging on a school chair broken-neck epidemic still going? Or was that a purely 80s
fabrication fad.
It’s extremely grey out there, greyer than John Major’s Spitting Image puppet.
“Greetings from Slovakia,” says George Browne. “Where it is also raining. Just so you know.”
My mum knew a woman with your surname. She once told someone is was “Browne, with an ‘e’, then received post addressed to “Mrs Brownwitheney.”
Pakistan trail England by 542 runs, with six first-innings wickets intact. Seriously.
I don’t think this’ll be a long stoppage. During the last one, I took a few minutes to clean my kitchen skylight, which had been vandalised by a passing bird. I wonder what Mrs Harris has in store for me next!
It’s going to be one of those days, I’m afraid, but at least we get the amusement of Sturt Broad having the ball taken from him just as he was about to end the Pakistan innings with six lbws in six balls.
22nd over: Pakistan 41-4 (Azhar 10, Fawad 5) Archer into the attack – I wonder if his extra pace might force Fawad to go through his movements quicker than he’d like. But he’s not there with his pace quite yet, although Fawad is still mad keen to get down the other end when he lays bat on ball; Azhar rightly sends him back. Archer then goes around the wicket to bowl his final delivery, which completes a maiden.
“Enjoying the coverage,” says Keith Fisken, “and to build on James’s theme, Anderson has long since passed mine and Tarzan’s favourite Mazda, the 323...”
21st over: Pakistan 41-4 (Azhar 10, Fawad 5) Fawad takes another single and then Anderson diddles Azhar like he’s a child on reins, enticing him to play forward then spiriting the ball past the back with late away swing. That was too good.
“So glad to read this snippet from Great Expectations!” says Diana Powell. “A favourite saying of mine - what larks.”
20th over: Pakistan 40-4 (Azhar 10, Fawad 4) Broad is desperate for a wicket here, though that’s not saying much; he was probably spent nine months in the womb appealing to his placenta. Maiden.
“I can’t remember the series but I remember when Stokes suddenly became a world class batsman and it coincided with him having the confidence to face a lot of balls and still be there to cash in later,” emails John Busby Buttler is such a talent. Like Stokes before him it looks like he has gone away and worked hard to develop his defensive technique. This summer he has had the confidence to leave and defend. Hopefully, Buttler can keep building on his batting success this summer and have stellar test career. Credit is due to the England setup which seem to have realised/remembered how to bat to have success in test cricket and given Buttler time to develop as a player.”
19th over: Pakistan 40-4 (Azhar 10, Fawad 4) Fawad turns Anderson off his pads for two, Woakes chasing about the boundary to keep Pakistan to two.
“The heavens just opened here in Stubbington, about five miles south-east of the Rose Bowl,” says Brad McMillan. “Only for a few minutes mind, so the groundsmen will do well to get the covers on before the shower stops ... if it hits at all, given the prevailing wind is from the south west, and the weather is often diverted by the Isle of Wight.
Anyway, this is my first (and probably last) attempt at being an actual weather forecaster, so from now I’ll concentrate on watching Jimmy end this innings on 597, with Broad and Archer sharing the next six wickets between them.”
18th over: Pakistan 38-4 (Azhar 10, Fawad 2) Broad is working himself into his spell. Azhar shoves his first ball for two towards cover and Broad charges in in response, almost inciting an edge, but Azhar keeps his bat to himself, just about.
“When Jimmy gets to 606,” says Ian Forth, “I would love it if he ran to the camera and pulled up his shirt to reveal a tee showing a smiling David Mellor with a pair of BBC headphones on.”
17th over: Pakistan 36-4 (Azhar 8, Fawad 2) Azhar bumps Anderson to mid off and they run one. This is a huge innings for him because ultimately the most important aspect of captaincy is leading from the front and he’s not done much of that lately. Lunch, by the way, is now at 1.30pm BST.
16th over: Pakistan 35-4 (Azhar 7, Fawad 2) Broad persuades Fawad to edge, but the ball drops short of Sibley Dom Dom at three. The cordon is stood pretty close, though, so recriminations are disappointingly absent and a single apiece follows.
“Sir Jimmy seems to favour the same shade (Oilslick Tortoiseshell) as Sir Paul McCartney,” says James Debens, “who spends a pretty penny getting his coiffure colorised on the Sussex coast. It’s the most popular hair dye after Bono’s Blue-Black Quink edition.”
15th over: Pakistan 33-4 (Azhar 6, Fawad 1) A quiet over, just one run from it, to Fawad, knocked towards cover. At first glance, his stance looks perfect for an outswinger, but by the time he actually plays the ball he’s in a fairly normal position.
No, Stuart, it did not straighten, and was missing the wickets.
14th over: Pakistan 32-4 (Azhar 6, Fawad 0) Broad takes the ball looking to hold down an end, so that Jimmy can get his all 10. Azhar gets one to backward square, then Fawad nurdles his first Test run since 1890 ... no he doesn’t, it’s a leg bye. Broad hurtles in again, and THERE IT IS! THE CELEBRAPPEAL! OH YES, THAT IS VINTAGE! Not out says the umpire, but Broad prevails on Root to review.
“I would love Anderson to reach 626, which is my favourite Mazda model,” says James Debens. “I can’t fit in the MX-5, and the 3 couldn’t pull the skin off a rice pudding. The Mazda 626 rides well and when she picks up her skirts, she really can shift. She was known as the Capella in Japan; this means ‘she-goat’ in Latin.”
13th over: Pakistan 30-4 (Azhar 5, Fawad 0) Fawad sees away the final ball of Anderson’s over.
The players are back out, but I’d not be surprised if there was another break prior to lunch.
“Good luck to Jimmy for his 600,” says Chris Eastside, “but has he been having a dab of the old Grecian 2000?”
A nice bit of fringe misdirection, if so.
“Forgive me if it’s been asked before,” tweets Allan MacDonald, “but has COVID killed reverse swing for the time being as players aren’t allowed to put saliva or sweat on the ball?”
I don’t think we were seeing much reverse even before that. I’m hoping that with Tests back in Pakistan, we’ll see a bit more of it, and I’m also hoping it’s something Archer can get good it. But in England, we need a bit of help from the weather and the pitches too.
I mean, who wants or needs any of this nonsense? Aside from smashing a glass, at the age of 22, I was cold-calling heads of huge multinationals to convince them that what they really wanted to do was invest loads of their money in the state of Iowa.
“We’re all so proud of you and pleased for you. Well done buddy”
Day 1 Highlights: https://t.co/uWtGndZBI6#ENGvPAKpic.twitter.com/L5LH3be7Ko
“Morning Daniel,” begins Tom Levesley. “Aged 22 I was putting stickers on the soles of trainers for two pounds an hour in a West Midlands warehouse. Hope Zak’s reading and realises how he’s wasting his youth. I’d have trousered 20 quid in the time it took him to knock a bit of leather around.”
State of poor Creepz, absolute fiasco of a man.
“I wonder if Jimmy is taking advice from number gurus on marketing his brand,” emails Kim Thonger. “If he stopped at 600 there is linkage with the charge of the light brigade. Could be a splendid logo. 633 is apparently an angel number, whatever that might be, although my age group associate it with the 633 Squadron. 666 would be noticeable but perhaps a bit devilish for his taste. Personally I think he’s capable of getting to 700 if he stays fit.”
It’s impossible to have the remotest clue what he’s got in store for us. I enjoy that his number is 613, the same as the number of commandments in the Torah, and I’d enjoy him finishing on that, but for how much I’d enjoy him finishing on 614 and everything after.
Provided there’s nee more rain.
They’re coming back on, they’re coming back off.
“An on/off day,” says Nasser, who notes that it takes a while to get the covers on and off at Southampton. We can go to 7pm though, and it’ll take a lot more than what’s forecast to force a draw.
“So pleased for Buttles and Zcrawley,” says Sarah O’Regan. Me too. They’ve earned this – it’s not happened by accident.
This won’t be a long stoppage, I don’t think.
“Just the 597 Test wickets for me, last night, then.” This is so standard it’s a joke. Anderson runs in, bowls full, and Asad can’t help but follow it, guiding the ball into the warm, grateful embrace of Joe Root at one. Pakistan are struggling here.
13th over: Pakistan 29-3 (Azhar 5, Asad 5) Another decent Anderson over, two singles from its first four balls....
“Morning Daniel,” emails Peter Haining, linking to today’s TMS. Have a lovely OBO.”
12th over: Pakistan 28-3 (Azhar 4, Asad 4) It’s Broad from the other end; has any cricketer ever responded as well to a dropping as he? He’s got four slips, and after three dots, Asad slces him to backward point; Warne wants him up as a catcher, of course he does. Asad then drives nicely to cover, they run three, and the groundstaff run down because there’s drizzle in the air, Snoop Dogg’s favourite kind of rain (though he also enjoys mizzle).
11th over: Pakistan 24-3 (Azhar 4, Asad 1) Anderson is on the money right away, squaring Asad, who squirts a half-batter away on the off side and gets off the mark.
Anderson will finish his over from last night...
Here come the players.
I’m really looking forward to watching Jofra Archer this morning. It seems like England have decided that they want him to bowl fast, in short spells, which is exciting, but a word of caution: sometimes, his best stuff comes when he’s deep into a spell. That might change, but the ability to do a Mitch might be contingent on ... being Mitch, a rhythm bowler in the form of your life and maybe the form of every life.
James Anderson has 596 Test wickets from 156 Test matches. You’ve got to laugh.
But even if he’s not, I’m really, really pleased England gave him the time they did. He’s far too special to be discarded early – much better too late. The thing with him is that he’s not a slogger who has no discipline, which is why it always seemed like a mental thing: how to assimilate the best bits of his attack with the best bits of his defence.
Jos Buttler is with Nasser, noting the tiny margin of error Crawley allowed Pakistan’s bowlers. And explaining that he now gets his triggers in early, so he’s in position to play, and talking about how much lockdown helped in giving him a rest and time to work on things. I really, really hope he’s there now – imagine if he is.
“It’s such a good feeling to know you can play at that level,” says Andrew Strauss of Crawley’s knock, a sentiment with which I’m sure we can all agree. It was certainly one of highlights of my Test-match career.
On which point, in such circumstance, do England enforce? Generally, teams don’t, but if they knock Pakistan over quickly, I’d be surprised if they didn’t. It looks to me like the tactic is to bat once.
It looks decent for swing bowling out there. The pitch should still be flat, but most of Pakistan’s best batsmen are gone. If Azhar doesn’t make runs, it’s hard to see them getting anywhere near the follow-on target.
For more of the same, check this on the theatre of Shane Warne.
Related: Kevin Pietersen: 'You had to be careful not to let Warne get to you' – extract
I’ve just read that Jacques Kallis has been inducted into the ICC Hall of Fame. I can’t remember if I knew that such thing even existed, but is he the most underrated great of the game, or the great of the game people like to say is most underrated? Please forgive the namedrop, but I think this tidbit is worth it: Kevin Pietersen once told me that in an England team meeting, going through their plans for the South African batsmen, they came to him and the best they could do was “run out candidate early in his innings”.
Anyway, I hear James Anderson is finished in Test cricket. It’s been a good run.
What were you doing at 22? Me, I was on a completely normal one, getting married as you do.
Related: When sport and real life collide: a story about getting divorced during the 2005 Ashes
“Oh my days!” I remember where I was the first time I heard that glorious phrase – Roe Green Summer Scheme, 1987 – and remember wondering at what age one could deploy it with legitimacy. Like the speaker, I was eight years-old then, which makes me 41 years-old now, so reckon I’m good to go. As such, oh – my – days.
The purpose of a preamble is to set up what’s to come, but in this case that’s already been determined by what’s already been. Zak Crawley’s innings didn’t just end on a big number, though it did, and didn’t just come against a magnificent attack, though it did. Rather, it evidenced the craft, commitment and temperament of a talent maturing into a player before our eyes. Strauss, Greig, Stewart, Sutcliffe, Smith, Vaughan, Atherton, Cowdery, D’Oliveria and SJ Broad are but some of the legendary batsmen who never made a Test double century, and of the 695 people to play for England – Crawley being the most recent – only nine have made more in a single innings than his 267. Not bad for 22 (but for how many consecutive meals can he eat ketchup sandwiches? Well then.)
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