- Mike Selvey’s report: Root rides luck
- Barney Ronay: Wales puts on a woolly welcome
- Ali Martin: nice try Cook, but play your natural game
- Full scorecard from the first Test
- Interactive: a history of the Ashes in charts
Closing thoughts: Ian Botham and Michael Atherton in the commentary box both give England the marginal advantage from that day, though it’s hard to tell until we see what happens when Australia bat. It’s been such a run-drenched summer that England will be aiming for more than 400, just as basic insurance here. Anyway, it’s been a richly enjoyable day’s cricket, with more in prospect tomorrow. Thanks for your company and your emails. Bye.
And some end-of-play links for you to enjoy:
88th over: England 343-7 (Ali 26, Broad 0) Hazlewood bowls the final over of the day, and Broad meets his first ball with an exaggerated backward defensive stroke. The left-hander is then properly hurried up by a shorter faster delivery that canons off his bat and plops down in the middle of the pitch. Once again, Broad is being targeted with the sort of short stuff he’s fond of sending down himself. When a fuller ball he comes he inside-edges it down to square leg – there was an easy one there but Broad declines it, opting to protect Moeen until tomorrow. And he leaves the last ball of the day. That’s stumps.
87th over: England 343-7 (Ali 26, Broad 0) There are unmistakable echoes, here, of the 2009 Ashes Test at this same venue: England scoring relatively freely first up on a sluggish surface without becoming completely dominant – will the tortuous couple of days in the field that followed then be repeated now? “I have no idea who is ahead in this match,” head-scratches Simon Land. “Any ideas?” A few, yes, but they’re not failsafe – few of my ideas ever are. England might just be slightly – slightly– disappointed. Moeen plays out five probing balls sensibly before swishing wildly and missing at the final one, wide outside off stump. A maiden. They’ll squeeze in one more over.
86th over: England 343-7 (Ali 26, Broad 0) Hazlewood appeals for lbw against Buttler after spearing one into his pads off the seam, but no one else is interested and a review is shunned. Hawk-eye subsequently vindicates the shunning. But Hazlewood gets his man, courtesy of a really limp lazy clip to mid-on, where Johnson takes the catch. Broad enters the fray, to boos from the Australian contingent, and sees off the final ball of the over.
85th over: England 343-6 (Buttler 27, Ali 26) Buttler adds a single, whereupon Johnson comes round the wicket at Moeen and puts a short leg in. But Moeen’s no mug against the short ball and pulls one such with power and panache to the midwicket boundary for four. Johnson retailiates by going even shorter, but it’s too high for the batsman to reach.
84th over: England 338-6 (Buttler 26, Ali 22) Buttler thick-edges Hazlewood backward of square on the offside for two, and the bowler suffers the dispiriting sensation of seeing a perfectly decent back of-a-length off-stump delivery dabbed past the slips for four. One more follows but Hazlewood’s looking a touch weary now and Moeen pushes a half-volley past him for two. Nine from the over.
83rd over: England 329-6 (Buttler 19, Ali 20) Buttler clips away a Johnson inswinger with precision timing to add two, a shot he carbon-copies three balls later, before keeping the strike with a single. Overall, I think we can say that the spirit of New-look England has remained present and correct here today, despite a difficult opening and unhelpful surface. Well over 300 on the first day of an Ashes series is not to be sniffed at.
82nd over: England 324-6 (Buttler 14, Ali 20) Hazlewood has found the right line and length much more frequently than his fellow quicks, and Moeen is duly watchful here, but the one time he offers up some room, Moeen drives him serenely through the covers for four.
81st over: England 320-6 (Buttler 14, Ali 16) Johnson gets the new ball and Buttler flicks the first delivery with it away on the legside for three. Starc re-enters the field, but he’s still limping, and is promptly advised to do one, for his own good, so off he goes again. Even with the new ball though, the lack of pace and consistent bounce in this pitch is remarkable – the third ball with it bounces twice en route to Haddin. When Johnson does locate some bounce, Moeen pulls him away comfortably to square leg for one.
80th over: England 316-6 (Buttler 11, Ali 15) Hazlewood is also back in the attack in readiness for the new ball. It’s incident-free until Moeen takes a massive risk, in leaving a ball that darts swiftly back into his inner thigh. Clarke takes the review for lbw – he might as well, he gets them all back when the new ball arrives – which is turned down, as the ball was clearly going over the top. Still, that was dubious decision-making from Moeen there.
79th over: England 316-6 (Buttler 11, Ali 15) With two overs to go to the new ball, Johnson gets one last go with the old one. It’s seen out without too much bother, before Buttler squirts the final ball of the over down to the third man boundary for four. The crowd follow Derek Walmsley’s example, goading the Aussie quick with the old “he bowls to the left” song, some of them wearing unfunny fancy dress while doing so. All of which gives me a chance to plug this blog, which argues that beer snakes and fancy dress will send us all to hell in a handcart.
78th over: England 312-6 (Buttler 7, Ali 15) Moeen’s not here to defend – he slog-sweeps Lyon’s first ball over the square leg boundary for six. He has 13 from his first seven balls. The Worcestershire man then loftily drives on the offside to add two more. In the meantime, here comes Derek Walmsley again, quietly folding his tail between his legs: “Really thought I’d jonah proofed that I mean, how DO you go about jonah proofing something?”
77th over: England 304-6 (Buttler 7, Ali 7) Starc has hit his straps, at last, and picks up the vital wicket of Stokes with the first ball of his over, an absolute gem. Now this puts everything right back in the balance. Moeen Ali is off the mark quickly, a languid push and a casual flick bringing twos from each of his first two deliveries. He then goes one better with a three on the legside to take England to 300. Buttler then goes one more better, with a sumptuous cover drive for four. Good cricket all round, that over, one which has taken its toll on Starc, who looks to have cramped up and is on his way off the field.
Stokes is cleaned up with a fabulous outswinger, which pitches leg, hits off and brings a vital scalp for Australia.
76th over: England 293-5 (Stokes 52, Buttler 3) Buttler gets off the mark by grubbing at a wide ball on the offside from Lyon, which is hacked away for three. Then Stokes brings up another valuable and enjoyable half-century with another emphatic stroke for three. What a summer he’s having.
75th over: England 287-5 (Stokes 49, Buttler 0) Starc locates a little bounce from somewhere, and flummoxes Stokes, who edges it high over the slips for four. Neither batsmen nor slips knew anything about that. An attempted yorker is then swatted away on the legside for two. There is, at least, swing and some threat in this over, perhaps Starc’s best all day.
On cumulative averages, Justin Horton has this: “While Gary Naylor’s question is essentially unanswerable, since one would have to have access to players’ averages at the time matches were played, using lifetime Test averages, pen and paper, I unreliably calculate that the cumulative averages of the England team that won the First Test in Brisbane in 1928 was at least 418. That’s Hobbs, Sutcliffe, Mead, Hammond, Jardine, Hendren et al. They won that Test by 675 runs, by the way.”
74th over: England 281-5 (Stokes 43, Buttler 0) Warner is removed from the attack, and Proper Bowler Nathan Lyon returns, and continues to purvey some Proper Bowling, from which Stokes can only take one from. The Barmy Army trumpeter is now regaling us with I Should Be So Lucky, which is a better way of passing the time than making beer snakes I guess.
“Derek Walmsley needs to take a long hard look at himself and think about what he’s done after that wicket,” finger-wags Phil Sawyer.
73rd over: England 280-5 (Stokes 42, Buttler 0) No sooner do we start discussing Starc’s potential to have a shocker than the jinx-fairy strikes again. He ends Roots’ terrific knock with a regulation delivery outside off stump that the Yorkshireman edges to first slip. The rest of the over, however, is fairly unthreatening and the new batsman Buttler sees it out without scoring.
Root drives a little too loosely and edges the first ball of the over to first slip. Starc has his man, at last. Yet another marvellous Root innings is at an end.
72nd over: England 280-4 (Root 134, Stokes 42) Clarke gives Warner another over, and Stokes duly clips him for an easy four. A similarly effortless couple of singles ensue.
“At what point should England start singing the Mitchell Johnson song at Mitchell Starc?” asks Derek Walmsley. “I’m going to be safe and say if and when the first innings lead goes past 300, and only then. Wondering also if, against Starc, letting the ball go thru to the 37 year old keeper might prove an effective scoring option.”
71st over: England 274-4 (Root 133, Stokes 37) Watson continues, as Australia run down to the new ball. He tests Stokes skillfully with an accurate yorker that the batsman has to carve out, but the left-hander does manage to add a flicked three. Root, who had a thorough working-over from the physio on his back during the drinks break, then plays and misses at another low-bouncing delivery.
70th over: England 271-4 (Root 133, Stokes 34) Funky bowling change alert! David Warner has been tossed the ball. To bowl to Root. Nothing to discuss there then. He has one slip in for his gentle medium-pacers (which have brought him four previous Test wickets, fact fans). A two and two ones ensue. And that’s drinks.
69th over: England 267-4 (Root 130, Stokes 34) There’s a minor knack-scare for Stokes, who’s thwacked hard on the knee by the fielder’s throw as he grounds his bat at the non-striker’s end after running a quick single. But he’s OK. Root adds another one but there are no more scoring shots from the over, not least because Watson strays wide down both off and leg sides too often. The Australian attack have not been at their probing best today, by a long chalk.
68th over: England 265-4 (Root 129, Stokes 33) Starc overpitches again and Root flicks him through midwicket for three, and the bowler’s travails against left-handers continue when he concedes four byes with another wide one down the legside. Stokes then nabs a single, and the strike, with the last ball of the over. Entertaining though this all is from an England perspective, the fear persists that their bowlers will struggle as much as Australia’s have today, even if conditions are marginally better suited to them.
67th over: England 257-4 (Root 126, Stokes 32) Stokes gets on the front foot to Watson and wallops a square drive past backward point for four. Watson responds by doing something hardly anyone’s managed to do all day - find some bounce and movement off the seam - and jags one hard back into Stokes’s gloves.
66th over: England 253-4 (Root 126, Stokes 28) Starc continues, and prompts a nano-second of half-hearted appealery from the slip cordon when Root bumps and misses a slash on the offside at an attempted yorker. A better attempted yorker, swung in at the stumps, then needs to be dug out well by Root. A dab on the offside for two by Root brings the only runs of the over.
65th over: England 251-4 (Root 124, Stokes 28) Michael Clarke is back on the field and Shane Watson is back in the attack. Root’s fierce square cut is well stopped in the gully by Warner before Watson finds the corridor of uncertainty – something Australia have done all too rarely today – to induce a play and miss from Root. He connects with another square cut though to add two more and bring up the 250.
It’s time for to stir the hornet’s nest of a localism debate: “With seven of England’s team (Lyth, Ballance, Root, Stokes, Buttler, Wood, Anderson) taken from the northern three counties,” writes Christopher Dale, “and all bar Butler developed at those counties, does it not jar somewhat that Yorks., Lancs. and Durham will cumulatively have one test this summer? Factor in the enthusiasm of the crowds, and quality of the wickets, at all three grounds, and the decision to award Cardiff this test is just staggering.” The west of England, and Wales, don’t get that much international cricket overall, mind.
64th over: England 248-4 (Root 121, Stokes 28) Lyon finds some rare turn with a sharp off-break from a shorter delivery. Stokes is by no means dominating this little battle, which he demonstrates even when lofting him over mid-on for two – it was slightly mistimed and risky. But Stokes punishes a looser one, with a crunching square cut for four. Enjoyable stuff.
63rd over: England 240-4 (Root 121, Stokes 20) Root unfurls what must be his 1,024th effortless cover drive of the day to milk Starc for two more runs. A couple more follow, squirted away on the legside.
An Australian angle on the toddler-cricket tutoring, from Sarah Bacon:
Oh, Aussies do that already. We were playing cricket in the hallway at home pretty much by the time we could hold ourselves up (sorry about the mirror, Mum ... and that vase ... and the crystal dish thing ... and the skirting boards). Kind of like the way we chuck our littlies into shark-infested waters at Learn-To-Swim classes ...
62nd over: England 236-4 (Root 117, Stokes 20) Root advances down the track and clips Lyon backward of square on the legside for one. Stokes isn’t comfortable just defending to the spinner, and takes a characteristic risk with a mistime chip on the offside that only just clears Warner’s head at short mid-off but isn’t hit with enough power to bring any runs. He rectifies that though with a huge straight six, striding forward and thumping it high towards the river. Strange isn’t it – it doesn’t quite feel as if Stokes has fully cut loose yet, and yet he’s already struck two sixes.
61st over: England 229-4 (Root 116, Stokes 14) Root opens the face and calmly deflects Starc’s delivery wide of the slips for four. Another push through the covers brings a single. Starc’s radar is still somewhat awry though, particularly at the left-handers, straying a tad too often down the legside, though the bowler does induce a swished play and miss outside off stump from Stokes. Five from the over.
60th over: England 224-4 (Root 111, Stokes 14) How will Stokes play Lyon? He’s not given much opportunity to do much by the spinner’s probing accuracy, and inside-edges one not too far from Smith at short leg. Another good over – bringing on Lyon looks like it was a smart move from Clarke.
“If we’re going to compare notes on OBO babies (NZ 2013),” compares Ben Jones, “mine are currently running riot in a soft play area somewhere in France. Meanwhile I hit refresh, in between trying to convince them to stop terrorising children in a manner Mitch seems unable to so far replicate. Bella is definitely doing better, but we’re all going to blame her when Root edges to slip.”
59th over: England 224-4 (Root 111, Stokes 14) Starc, who’s been largely a victim of Clarke’s regular bowler-shuffling today, is this time the beneficiary of it, replacing Johnson. Stokes nudges him round the corner for one before Root sends another cover drive, and with it the pursuing fielder, Lyon, crashing into the ropes. Four more.
58th over: England 219-4 (Root 107, Stokes 13) Nathan Lyon is reintroduced, in a bid to introduce some control, which he does. Root has to play out a nigh-on flawless maiden.
57th over: England 219-4 (Root 107, Stokes 13) Some fun and games. Johnson, predictably, wants to have a good old go at Stokes, but his short sharp bouncer is top-edged for six by Stokes. It’s a piece of cricket that sums up both men perfectly. Stokes follows up by cracking the fifth ball of the over past backward point for four. There’s an air of boozy raucous engagement in the crowd now.
56th over: England 209-4 (Root 97, Stokes 3) And that’s a hundred for Joe Root! A lovely square drive completes a lovely hundred. His form since the last Ashes has been incredible. As if to prove the point, an effortless, exquisitely timed push past Hazlewood brings him four more. Hazlewood responds by trying to go shorter, but a controlled pull from the batsman brings him two more on the legside.
55th over: England 199-4 (Root 97, Stokes 3) An anxious moment for England as Stokes almost inside-edges onto his stumps. He gets a glare from Johnson. “Have these two got a bit of previous?” wonders David Lloyd in the commentary box. It’s Stokes, of course he’s got previous. It’s why he’s the new National Treasure. He can’t get Johnson off the square here mind, although he’s striking it cleanly enough. It’s a maiden.
54th over: England 199-4 (Root 97, Stokes 3) Unsurprisingly, it’s Hazlewood who returns at the other end. He’s clipped away on the legside for two by Ballance. But Hazlewood has indisputably been Australia’s main man today and he gets his reward with Ballance’s wicket - the left-hander rapped on the back pad by a full in-swinger. A key, and long-awaited breakthrough. Now Root and Stokes are together, and a crucial period of the match awaits. Stokes is off the mark with a clipped two on the legside, and adds a single.
People are getting carried away with predictions now, such as Bella Abrahams, who also reveals some impressive multi-tasking parenting skillz. “I normally get an Obo mention when I’ve just had to give birth rather than enjoying the test as originally planned. (England India. December 2012). This time however, I’m lazing on a couch when it’s 40 degrees outside in southern Spain and the aforementioned child is having an epic sleep upstairs. I’ve got a VPN, sky sports on an iPad, a cold beer and I’m still gazing at the Obo.
An inswinger from Hazlewood is full and missed by Ballance, and he’s gone leg before, having thought better of reviewing.
53rd over: England 194-3 (Ballance 59, Root 97) Mitchell Johnson, who’s gone wicketless for more than four an over thus far, gets us back underway from the Cathedral Road End. He’s round the wicket, bowling a full-ish length, and induces a rather airy, complacent waft from Root with his fourth ball that he doesn’t get anywhere near. Runs do come when Root drives square on the offside, not quite middling it, but it runs away for four.
GUY HORNSBY HAS SPOKEN AGAIN! Show us the way, oh master:
Well I honestly made that prediction in hope note than expectation, in that I thought I’d just dialled in the jinx of all jinxes, with England limping to 175-7. So, with that in mind, I predict us to be 330-4 at stumps, with Ballance out just short of a ton, Root passing 150 and Stokes carving all comers to a run-a-ball 60.
Well, we can dream. I’m giddy with optimism after the afternoon session.
And they’re on their way back out. Will Australia’s bowlers get any more joy on this joyless surface? Can England’s Yorkshire pair properly turn the screw? Let’s find out shall we.
Charidee teatime email, from Tom and Katie Oxley:
We are running a charity raffle and auction in aid of Cots for Tots, a Bristol based charity that supports the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at St. Michaels Hospital in the city. They treated our son Dylan for meconium aspiration last year and he is making a wonderful recovery. A friend has kindly (?) donated a pair of final day tickets for this test that we are auctioning on Saturday. As the pitch is a road and I imagine the grounds people have prepared it for five days, I am sure that whoever wins them will get a brilliant days play!!
Can I invite fellow OBOers to send me an email with the maximum bid they would like to make, along with contact details and I will happily register their bid.
Afternoon/very early morning again everyone. And attention has been drawn to Guy Hornsby’s 30th-over request for a teatime score of 190-3:
“Great work from Root and Ballance,” trills Jack Allen, “but an incredible performance from Guy Hornsby (30th over).” While Adam Hurst adds: “Better get Guy Hornsby back on quick so we can all get down the bookies.”
England’s session. And the final session will be Tom Davies’s – he’ll be with you after the tea break.
52nd over: England 190-3 (Ballance 59, Root 93) Hazlewood rumbles in for the final over before tea. Root takes a quick single to escape to the safety of the non-striker’s end. And Ballance calmly plays out the remaining three deliveries.
51st over: England 189-3 (Ballance 59, Root 92) Johnson comes round the wicket to Ballance, short leg in place. Here comes the bombardment:
50th over: England 187-3 (Ballance 57, Root 92) A rarity: Root plays and misses as Hazlewood gets one to move away off the track. Then there’s an inside edge into the thigh pad. Very useful over – Hazlewood has been comfortably the pick of the Aussie attack.
49th over: England 187-3 (Ballance 57, Root 92)“Am I the only one thinking that Shane Watson, with that grinning gurn he does in the slips, looks a bit like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in Ghostbusters?” wonders Elliott Wilson.
Hmm.
48th over: England 183-3 (Ballance 53, Root 92) Josh Hazlewood returns to the attack. Tourniquet-tight stuff from him for five balls but then he strays – short, wide and whacked away for four by Root, who moves into the 90s.
47th over: England 179-3 (Ballance 53, Root 88) Root drives down the ground as Starc returns to over the wicket – it’s not quite timed though, so he picks up just a single. And from the next Ballance brings up a battling 50 with a chop through point for four. He’s not looked fluent (although he rarely does) but it’s been an object lesson in doggedness.
46th over: England 174-3 (Ballance 49, Root 87) Watson continues and Ballance continues to edge his way towards a half-century.
45th over: England 172-3 (Ballance 47, Root 87) Starc returns to the attack with a hideous drag down the legside that leaves Haddin with no chance and zips away for four byes. The next disappears to the boundary too but in very different fashion, Root unfurling a full-fat double-chocolate-deluxe drive through the covers for four. That was out of the meat of the meat of the middle. Starc has bowled that one ball that did for Bell and a couple at Root in the early part of his innings, but in general he’s been pretty out of sorts.
44th over: England 162-3 (Ballance 47, Root 81) Oh my word, Steve Smith. Is this a drop at short leg? The ball looped up off Root’s pad and from the reaction of both batsman and bowler, you’d have sworn he’d got an inside edge onto it. Smith dived and should have held on but allowed the ball to slip from his grasp. HotSpot suggests there was no edge anyway but Smith looked suitably sheepish in the aftermath there.
43rd over: England 157-3 (Ballance 44, Root 79) Ballance has an ungainly swipe at a short wide one from Watson but connects only with the Cardiff air. Three from the over, though.
42nd over: England 154-3 (Ballance 41, Root 78) A minor scare for root as a clip off Lyon finds Adam “It’s called a dance floor, and here’s what it’s for, so come on” Voges at short leg. Root’s momentarily out of his ground but Voges has had to duck and cover, leaving Haddin to dive in and attempt to flick the ball back byt which time Root has recovered.
41st over: England 152-3 (Ballance 41, Root 77) Picture a desert. And, in the burning heart of that desert, picture the dead papery husk of a snake’s skin, the serpent long since departed. And picture that husk telling a series of sarcastic, acerbic jokes. Then you’ll get some idea of just how dry Australia are trying to bowl here. But then picture a giant pink water balloon exploding on to the scene – Watson has just wanged one down the leg side that’s gone for four byes and from the last Root unfurls a glorious cover drive for four runs that take England to their 150.
40th over: England 144-3 (Ballance 41, Root 73) Lyon rattles through another over. Just a single from it.
39th over: England 143-3 (Ballance 41, Root 72) Shane Watson enters the fray and Root greets him with a flailing cut for three.
38th over: England 139-3 (Ballance 41, Root 68) Afternoon all. Lyon continues after the drinks break. And this pair continue to steer England into safer waters. That is, until Ballance comes dancing down the track to the last and is rescued by an inside edge.
A brilliant moment just now in the Sky commentary box, with Nasser brought on to shill one of the channel’s iPad apps. He does a decent job of plugging it for 30 seconds or so and then …
37th over: England 139-3 (Ballance 41, Root 68). A Joe Root cover drive is a thing of majesty, and Mitchell Johnson’s first ball outside off stump is punished by one such. Four more. Another single brings Ballance on strike, and this time Johnson tries a couple of balls over the wicket at him before reverting. He keeps Ballance honest with some probing stuff, but Ballance keeps him out. And that’s drinks. John Ashdown will see you through to tea. See you later.
Re Mitchells, here’s Chris Phillips:
Can we call these bowlers Phil and Grant for the summer please – after all they bring a lot of drama and hostility to the square
36th over: England 134-3 (Ballance 41, Root 63). Lyon gives it some air, and Root does likewise, with a lusty cover drive for four. The comeback ball strikes Root on the pad though, and it’s reviewed (by Smith, who’s skippering in Clarke’s temporary absence) – he’s got his front foot a fair way forward, and though the replay shows it’s hitting the stumps, it’s pitched just – just– outside leg and the batsman survives. And with a leg-bye to boot. A single each for Ballance and Root is followed by a well-run two for the former.
35th over: England 125-3 (Ballance 38, Root 58). Johnson bamboozles Root a touch with one that comes back into him, beating him in both the seam movement and the low bounce. Root also struggles with a full delivery outside off stump, which he nonetheless inside edges past the keeper for four. A glanced single puts Ballance back on strike. The cameras are picking up some fairly inept sledging of the Australian bowler from individual spectators. Johnson promptly raps him on the elbow with as much of a bouncer as this pitch can offer him, and short leg snaffles it up. A warning sign, certainly.
“Some suggestions for the Cricket and English language pedantry inspired free school,” suggests Phil Russell. “1) All lessons to begin with the teacher entering the room and announcing ‘play.’ 2) Children are expected to know when lessons are over, and to walk off. It will be considered bad form to wait for the teacher to give them “out.” 3) When walking down the corridors of uncertainty, students should keep to the leg side. 4) The curriculum should cover whether LBW is an appropriate abbreviation, and if so, if it is still appropriate for dismissals where the batsman is not struck on the leg. 5) The curriculum should also debate whether the appropriate phrase for praising a well-judged single is ‘well run’ or ‘well ran.’ 6) The Early Years Section will be known as the Nursery End.7) The uniform will be cricket whites. Replica tops and black trainers are not permitted.”
34th over: England 120-3 (Ballance 38, Root 53). Root flicks Lyon away for a single, and Ballance plays out the remainder of the over with a minimum of fuss, and of runs.
“Can we talk about the Australian epidemic of Mitches?” asks Andy Hockley. OK, if we must. “An epidemiologist once told me that an ‘epidemic’ is defined as ‘one more case than the expected number’. One person called Mitch is, I would submit, one more case than the expected number, so the fact that Australia seem to have three kicking around the team would seem to be more of a serious outbreak than a mere epidemic. Mitchell, I should point out, is not a name. It is a surname, such as in David Mitchell, or in the other David Mitchell, but it is not and never has been a first name. Something must be done.”
33rd over: England 119-3 (Ballance 38, Root 52). Root pulls and misses at Johnson, sparking half-hearted appeals from Haddin behind the stumps, but there’s nowt to appeal about it. He pulls and hits from the next ball, which brings a single down to square leg. This gives Johnson a chance to have a proper go at Ballance, steaming in around the wicket and testing him with a couple of lifters that he needs to fend away, and another that he squirts away to safety but nowhere near where he intended. This could be a tasty little mini-contest, this.
“I’m loth to bring up KP after a fine series against New Zealand had all but relegated the Current Best English BatsmanTM to an almost irrelevancy,” writes Tom Wright, scratching an old topic, very much yesterday’s itch “… but the presence of the cricket, the Australians and acronyms means it’s high time for one of the best: they’re reference to Pietersen as FIGJAM (F*ck I’m Good, Just Ask Me)“
32nd over: England 118-3 (Ballance 38, Root 51). Lyon is restored to the attack – he did his job this morning; can he do it again now? Coming from around the wicket, he gives his first delivery plenty of air and Root drives it backward of square on the offside for two. Two more, albeit a miscued clip that cannons away on the offside, takes Root to his 50, from 56 balls. That early drop aside, he’s been excellent. Another single completes the scoring from the over.
31st over: England 113-3 (Ballance 38, Root 46). Australia bring back Mitchell Johnson, who begins with a loosener that Root drives straight to point for no run. The No5 then takes a cheeky two, capitalising on what looks like slight dilatoriness in the field from Australia, with a clip square on the legside. Another glance down to fine leg brings a single. Johnson has largely eschewed the short stuff, thus far, which is not surprising given the nature of the pitch but signposts his intentions by having a helmet brought on for a short leg to Ballance. The subsequent ball, however, is wide and harmless down the leg side.
30th over: England 110-3 (Ballance 38, Root 43). Root pushes for a single, but it’s the only run from another tight over from Hazlewood. A small correction on initials, from David Wheeler (and 547 others): “Sorry to be pedantic but there appears to be some confusion. BBC and TMS (Test Match Special) are initialisms not acronyms because we say the letters. NATO and UNICEF are acronyms because we say them as a single word - like the Australian DILLIGAF (Do I look like I give a f***.”
Back on the cricket-related emails, Guy Hornsby reckons “three down by mid-morning has a wonderfully late-90s ring to it. Of course, Atherton didn’t have Joe Root’s unending talents in his side, so let’s not get too worried. Yet. I feel strangely relaxed so far, such must mean I’m either dead or this is a dream. 190-3 at tea please!”
29th over: England 109-3 (Ballance 38, Root 42). Ballance, whisper it, could be playing himself right back into form here. He clips the first ball of Starc’s over effortlessly through midwicket for four. No sooner do I type that than he pushes airily and sloppily outside off-stump and edges it towards Clarke at second slip, but it doesn’t carry. Root adds another hurried single with a push past gully, which prompts a shy at the stumps that is well retrieved by Starc backing up.
Back on our mother tongue, and acronyms. “This is not the first time I have noticed it being observed that things ‘becoming a thing’ is Becoming a Thing,” observes the impressively meta Chris Watt. “So maybe talking about things ‘becoming a thing’ Becoming a Thing, is itself …Becoming a Thing (YHIHF). This could run and run.” It could and, I fear, it will. But we have cricket to watch.
28th over: England 103-3 (Ballance 34, Root 41). Hazlewood is looking by far the sharper of the two Australian bowlers currently operating, and he cuts Root in half with a slanted back of a length delivery. It’s the best ball of a decent maiden over.
27th over: England 103-3 (Ballance 34, Root 41). Starc tests Ballance with a sharp away-swinger, which beats his backward-defensive stance all ends up. It continues not to be his day though, an attempted yorker is neatly dug out by Ballance and deflected wide of the slips for four. Starc is varying his length, finding swing, but not really managing to impose any sustained pressure.
On acronyms (still!), Andy Bradshaw writes: “The military call Three Letter Acronyms, which they seem to be unable to operate without, TLA’s. My son is to be encouraged to find & read out CVC’s when reading his books. Turns out CVC’s are consonant vowel consonant words, or three letter words like dog, cat or really you couldn’t just say three letter words (TLW’s)?” When I set up my own Cricket and English-language pedantry-inspired Free School, the fightback against this nonsense will begin in earnest.
26th over: England 99-3 (Ballance 30, Root 41). Root cuts a short wide ball from Hazlewood with supreme confidence for four. He does indeed appear to have assumed the role of Sledgehammer of Eternal Justice from Bell, who at the moment is the Feather-duster of Maddening Flimsiness. There’s a big solo appeal against Root, who’s struck awkwardly on the inner thigh before the ball balloons out to second slip but no one in the cordon went up. Not out, not remotely.
25th over: England 95-3 (Ballance 30, Root 37). The umpires seem to have come out in each other’s coats, causing a moment of mirth as they swap them round, and slightly delaying the start of Starc’s over. He’s still not found his radar, Starc – plenty of swing but not the most probing of lines. Ballance turns him round the corner for one, Root adds another when pulling the only back of a length ball of the over down to deep square leg.
Who says classified advertising in traditional media outlets is dead? Here’s John Starbuck with a super soaraway offer:
Anyone interested in a couple of free tickets for any County Championship match at a Surrey game this year? Send your name and address to the OBO who will pass it on to me and I’ll forward by post tomorrow.
24th over: England 93-3 (Ballance 29, Root 36). Hazlewood has the ball first up from the River End. Root maintains his attacking intent with a pull in front of square on the legside for three from a shorter delivery – there’s been a deal more bounce at that end than at the other. Ballance is watchful to Hazlewood’s full-ish line outside off stump, opting to leave until he has to push one aimed at middle stump away on the legside for one.
And out they come again.
Further to the morning’s chat about absurdly indecipherable modern acronyms, here’s Adam Horridge:
After yesterday’s note photographing slip up, the breaking news is that YHIHF LATSNBTISRA has been appointed Greece’s new Finance Minister.
Afternoon/morning everyone. Australia will have certainly had the more agreeable lunch after that first session, but the Root-lead counterattack in the half-hour or so before lunch has at least offered us the prospect of a contest. Ballance managing to hang around, too, will be a plus for England - you’d have got a decent price at the bookies at around 11.45 on him still being at the crease at lunch following a scratchy start.
The significance of the early exchanges in an Ashes series can be overplayed too - England had the better of the first day in 2013-14, Australia ditto in 2013 and 2010-11, but in each case they lost the series. So there you go.
England 88-3. Australia’s morning, no doubt about it, but a Root-led fightback has given the innings a little momentum. Tom Davies will be your guide after the lunch break.
23rd over: England 87-3 (Ballance 28, Root 32) Balance gets in on the act, crashing Johnson through backward point for four, then cutting for four more and clipping for three. Root inside-edges for a single and that’s lunch.
22nd over: England 76-3 (Ballance 17, Root 32) Just glorious, glorious stuff from Joe Root. Hazlewood looks to bounce him but Root leans back and smears him away over gully for four. And a misfield from the next brings him a couple more – the partnership is worth 33. Root has 32 of them.
21st over: England 70-3 (Ballance 17, Root 26) We’re not going to get Root v Starc III. Instead it’s Root v Johnson I. A crashing cut flies away for four and a back-footed drive isn’t quite timed for two. And a similarly aesthetically pleasing punch rumbles through point for three. I think that’s round one to Joe Root, who has raced on to 26 from 17 balls.
“YHIHF = Yorkshire Hitter in Heavenly Form, surely,” writes Bob O’Hara. “Unfortunately he’s playing at Edgbaston.”
20th over: England 61-3 (Ballance 17, Root 17) The umpires are all, like, LATSNBTISRA* but the players are staying out there for now. Hazlewood clonks one onto Ballance’s thigh pad. The England No3 has got himself a little bit becalmed here – a maiden.
*Looking at the sky nervously because there is some rain about.
19th over: England 61-3 (Ballance 17, Root 17) This is shaping into first great battle of this Ashes series: Root v Starc. The bowler strays onto the pads and is whupped away for four in hearty style by Root, who follows it up with a straight drive so crisp it should come in a foil bag which zips away for two more. The next, though, is an effort-ball from Starc, who finds some bounce and beats Root’s cut as a result. Perhaps a rush of blood there from the batsman. Root takes that round on points. Just.
“Today is the day when Joe Root comes of age…and becomes a star. YHIHF (you heard it here first),” writes Karl Gibbons. Is that a thing? Are we living in a world where “YHIHF” is a thing? OMG.
18th over: England 55-3 (Ballance 17, Root 11) “I went into a corner room for a meeting and now we appear to be three wickets down,” writes my colleague Emma John. “Please tell me this is just a byproduct of my current contact lens trial.” Fraid not. It’s a trial of a very different nature for England at the moment. Hazelwood comes round the wicket and beats Ballance with a beauty that’s a whisker away from the outside edge.
17th over: England 55-3 (Ballance 17, Root 11) Shot! Root drives sweetly down the ground for four. And from the very next ball he’s beaten all ends up by one that wobbles outside off. It’s pretty certain that we’re not going to see the 2013-vintage Ian Bell in this series but England need someone to fill that role and it might just be the man at No5 – a cracking cut brings him four more as Starc offers a bit of width for the first time, then drives for three more. Ballance adds a single to make it 12 from the over.
16th over: England 43-3 (Ballance 16, Root 0) With the spinner’s work done,Clarke brings Hazelwood straight back into the attack. Ballance plays out a watchful maiden.
England aren’t the only ones taking a bit of a shoeing this morning:
Terrible test pitch from what I've seen so far. Very good captaincy by Clarke getting the spinner on so early.
15th over: England 43-3 (Ballance 16, Root 0) Root inside edges onto his pads from his first delivery and is dropped by Haddin from the next! It would’ve been a stunning catch had he held on – he was going one way then had to leap the other and was at full stretch – but the ball squirmed from his grasp. It’s a terrific over from Starc – much more in tune with what we expected from him.
What a ball from Mitchell Starc. Bell can’t get bat close to a huge inswinging yorker and is trapped in front. It might even have been swinging too much, but the finger goes up and he opts not to review.
14th over: England 43-2 (Ballance 16, Bell 1) That aggression from Cook against Lyon didn’t really pay off then:
Nathan Lyon to Alastair Cook . . . . . . . . . . . . . W
Lyon continues after the refreshments and he’s done for the England captain! Cook looks to slash through point, but succeeds only in edging through to Haddin.
13th over: England 42-1 (Ballance 16, Cook 20) Starc returns and his radar is still off – a juicy full toss allows Ballance to drive confidently through the covers for four. And that’s drinks.
12th over: England 36-1 (Ballance 10, Cook 20) Lyon continues and there’s another dance down the track from Cook. It’s so incongruous it’s a bit hard to believe that it’s not some sort of optical illusion or hallucination. Everyone else can see those dancing yellow badgers as well, right?
Plenty of intent from Cook, then, but no runs again – a couple of forceful drives pick out fielders in the off side.
11th over: England 36-1 (Ballance 10, Cook 20) Johnson tries a couple of short balls at Ballance, but they’re not particularly well directed. And as such they don’t really work as the set-up for the full one, which duly comes next. A nudge into the leg side brings him a couple more, then there’s a slightly-too-close-for-comfort leave from the last.
10th over: England 34-1 (Ballance 8, Cook 20) Interesting move from Clarke: here comes Nathan Lyon. “Woar! She’s turned and bounced!” yelps Brad Haddin as the first fails to do either. Cook dances down the track – dances down the track!– at the third and almost drives to the man at short mid off. Who are you and what have you done with Alastair Cook? The remainder is much more standard, Cook fending from the crease. A maiden.
9th over: England 34-1 (Ballance 8, Cook 20) Another streaky boundary for Cook, this time he leaves a leave too late and is a touch fortunate to see the ball skitter low through the slips. Johnson is finding a bit of away swing to the left-hander and he’s up over 90mph, but Cook can cope comfortably whenever he drops a touch short. He does just that with the penultimate ball of the over and the England captain pulls coolly for a single.
8th over: England 29-1 (Ballance 8, Cook 15) Four! But a seriously streaky one for Cook – a very fine inside edge saving him from an lbw shout and skipping away to the fine leg boundary. Another decent over from Hazlewood.
7th over: England 22-1 (Ballance 6, Cook 10) Ballance’s feet are planted in his crease as Johnson begins a new over, and he French-crickets the ball away from in front of his pad. That’s a worrying sign. From the next, the feet barely move again other than to get up on tippy-toes to fend away a bouncer. A single from the next must come as a relief for the England No3 but he’s quickly back on strike, Cook (who, whisper it, looks to be settling nicely) nudging into the leg side for one more. Still, he survives.
6th over: England 20-1 (Ballance 5, Cook 9) Hazlewood bangs one in short. Though ‘bangs’ is probably the wrong word. ‘Plops’ might be more appropriate given the pace of this pitch. Cook gleefully pulls away for four, the sort of shot he can play in his sleep. A couple of balls later, though, he’s tempted into a little jab outside off and the ball beats the bat.
5th over: England 16-1 (Ballance 5, Cook 5) Michael Clarke has seen enough and Mitchell Johnson replaces Mitchell Starc. No venom from Australia’s fast-bowling super-predator here though. Five runs from the over.
4th over: England 11-1 (Ballance 4, Cook 1) A reprieve for Ballance , who gets off the mark with an edge that flies wide of the slips but not quite wide enough for gully. The ball trundles away for four, but that was far from convincing. Hazlewood has hit his straps here.
3rd over: England 7-1 (Ballance 0, Cook 1) Starc sends down a maiden at Cook – too wide of off stump.
2nd over: England 7-1 (Ballance 0, Cook 1) That was the final ball of the over. Fair to say this wouldn’t have been the out-of-nick Gary Ballance’s dream scenario this morning.
Josh Hazlewood takes the new ball at the other end and both batsmen get off the mark, Cook with a push into the off, Lyth with something rather squirtier through the gully region. And as the young bowler strays onto Lyth’s pads we get the first boundary of the series – the Yorkshire opener clipping economically to square leg for four. But next ball he’s gone! Hazlewood squares him up and the balls flies off the face to gully, where Warner takes a superb low catch. First blood to Australia.
1st over: England 0-0 (Lyth 0, Cook 0) As Mitchell Starc crouches at the end of his run, Adam Lyth takes his guard and prepares to face his first ball in Ashes cricket. Low bounce, the lowest of low bounce, troubles him on a couple of occasions but that’s not an over to thrill either batsman or bowler.
“Can we please stop this time zone nonsense?” writes Ant Pease “I’ve got friends watching this in Los Angeles. Play doesn’t start there for another eight hours and all we’re doing is spoiling it for them.”
Right, here we go then. Mitchell Starc has the ball in his hand. And we’re about to get underway …
“I’m in tropical Australia and 8.5 hours ahead,” writes Tim in Darwin. “England slumped to 110 for 4 and recovered to 280 for 8. Hazlewood took 4-35.”
Fireworks, we’ve had fireworks too. Well, a bit of limp pyro anyway. Play will start at 11.15am BST.
Anthems, handshakes, flags, carpet, choirs … and all that out of the way, we’re going to get some cricket. And almost certainly, because this is the way of these things, some rain.
THIS IS INSANE.
Bread of Heaven and a giant Welsh flag being spun in a circle. Quite why it needed to be bone dry for all this is beyond me.
“I’m in Romania (two hours ahead) and can confirm that Neil Emms is correct: the tea break will coincide with the Tour stage’s conclusion here too,” writes Simon Edmond. “Mike Wood and Berlin are not the only lucky ones. PS It’s the lunch break already here. England are 80-2.”
Can anyone in Tahiti fill us in on the score at stumps?
It’s stopped raining but this is the current scene:
The covers are now off but we’re not going to start on time … because we’ve got to have some singing.
There’s been no word on a delayed start … yet. But the covers are well and truly on.
In the meantime … “Regarding Mike Wood’s email about the cricket tea break coinciding with the end of the Tour De France stage because he lives in Germany where there is a one hour time difference,” writes Neil Emms. “Am I mad or would the two coincide regardless of if you are in Berlin or in the pacific islands?”
“In terms of the big sports day, it’s also the biggest day of the year for Australian Rugby League fans: State of Origin is kicking off at about the same time as the Ashes.,” writes Zach from Queensland. Yep – and you can follow that live right here with Paul Connolly in our Australian office.
Stat!
The team who has won the toss in the first Test of the series has won the last five Ashes series. #Ashes
Enter this competition to win a unique prize– the chance for you and your team to play a real Twenty20 match at the historic Kia Oval.
Bah! It’s raining again folks.
Raaaaaiiiiiinnn. #Ashes
“Living in Germany and having a one hour difference, we have the beautiful happenstance of the tea break coinciding exactly with the last 50km or so of the Tour De France, allowing you to flip over and catch the best bits,” writes Mike Wood in Berlin. “Beautiful stuff. Unfortunately now they’ve embargoed TMS abroad, some of us have had to resort to somewhat underhand methods to get our cricket fix …” There’s nothing underhand about the OBO!
On Sky Ian Ward, sporting a pair of extraordinarily white shorts and supping a cuppa, is currently interviewing Ben Stokes in Ben Stokes’ garage. Lovely stuff.
“So much sport today,” writes Peter Harmer. “What are the chances Andy Murray can finish his match off in the 40 minutes over lunch? It would really simplify my viewing choices today.”
It’s one of the great days in the sporting calendar no doubt about it. Everything louder than everything else.
England:Cook, Lyth, Ballance, Bell, Root, Stokes, Buttler, Ali, Broad, Wood, Anderson.
http://www.theguardian.com/sport/gallery/2015/jul/07/australia-ashes-squad-in-pictures
Tails is the call from Michael Clarke … and it’s heads. And Alastair Cook says England are going to have a bat.
Emails!
“A cold winter’s night in Melbourne. A glass of red in hand. Here we go again. Please, please, please be more 2013/14 than 2013” – Chris Reilly.
Some light pre-match reading perhaps?
The next month or so will show just how far the vibrant new England have come: whether the cultural transformation infused in the team (and through it, the cricket-following public) during the first part of the summer is a permanent marking or whether it will be washed away under a pace-bowling onslaught.
For these final few hours, then, the 2015 Ashes remains unwritten. By the time some get around to reading this the contest will already be under way, and we will know what the first morning brought. Whether the opening delivery was sent straight to a startled second slip, was spanked past point for four, or left alone to fly by wide of off-stump. Nothing in cricket, few things in sport, are as storied as the Ashes.
The first day of a first Ashes Test is something special and both sets of players, young or old, must embrace it. Sure, the intensity is like no other game you will play, but breathe it in. Ride that wave. Because the training is out of the way, the team meetings have been held, the plans are in place and finally all the talk in the media is replaced by the real thing: the cricket.
The good news: it’s the Ashes! The bad news: um, this:
covers on, brollies up
So where are we? No, really, where the hell are we? A couple of months ago it seemed fairly simple to point a metaphorical telescope into the cricketing skies and see where everyone stood, how all the stars aligned. But now? Post-New Zealand? Post epoch-creating Exciting England? Does anyone really know anymore.
Ashes series are not necessarily forks in the road but waymarkers telling us where the road goes from here. In this the English trajectory is fairly clear – crucially, rock bottom (on this particular cycle) is in the past. In many ways it’s worth viewing the 2013 home series as the ground zero – a Australia team in a mess only narrowly (if we’re honest) beaten by an England side on the downslope from the peak of its powers and reliant on a couple of key men in bubbles of exceptional form. The series back in Austraila proved the point.
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