- OBO updates from the second day of a wild Test at Trent Bridge
- ‘Ashes disgrace’, RIP cricket and a nudie run: Australia’s media reaction
- Day one: you may want to look away if you’re of an Australian disposition
- And email dan.lucas@theguardian.com or tweet @DanLucas86
68th over: England 287-4 (Root 128, Wood 11) Filth from Johnson: a short, wide nothing ball that Wood guides effortlessly through backward point for the first four of the day. He follows that immediately with the second, driving a half volley uppishly over extra cover and to the fence. You’d expect the bouncers to come flying in now, especially as Johnson goes round the wicket, but he continues to pitch it up. No more runs from the over though.
Paul Ewart is in the mood for a fight, er, I think: “That numskull Copestake has got it all wrong! Adorno lamented the commodification of contemporary cricket demanding the return of free-to-air viewing and insisting twenty twenty be cast to the wind. Walter Benjamin, however, celebrated the radical potential of Sky TV and the shorter, more popular and reproducible format. It was he who said: ‘las uns dieses Schiesse machen’. I demand a retraction!”
67th over: England 279-4 (Root 128, Wood 3) The odd moment of excellence on the first day, but a lot of stupid stuff too and seemingly losing his head at one point, on comes Mitchell “Ned” Starc(k). Root tucks his first ball off the pads to deep midwicket for a couple, then gets one more with another nudge into the on side. Wood then gets right back off strike by dropping it into the off side and setting off for what should be a very tight single, but Lyon fumbles at mid off and the run out opportunity goes begging. A play and miss at the final ball from Root, driving airily outside off and being beaten by the late away swing.
66th over: England 275-4 (Root 125, Wood 2) It’ll be Johnson to begin with, on a slightly breezy, slightly overcast morning at Trent Bridge. “An ordinary day for Australia,” is Shane Warne’s opinion on yesterday. Imagine what a bad day must look like! Root looks to push a wide bumper down to the unguarded third man region, but is foiled by a good diving stop at gully by Smarsh. An inside edge just past the stumps to square leg gets the first run of the morning, before Wood keeps out a full inswinger comfortably.
Before we get underway in a moment, happy birthday for yesterday to Malcolm Conn. Hope he had a good one.
Every Australian batsman #Ashes2015pic.twitter.com/1JSFHE2qw4
And Paul Foley has a question. “Getting ahead of the game a touch but I wonder have there been any occasions where a night watchman gets more runs than an entire opposition’s innings?”
Yep. And it’s a pretty famous example...
Yesterday’s hero was not Joe Root, nor Stuart Broad. At least according to Robert Wilson:
“Dear Dan,
“I’m not even faintly Australian and I know he will never be troubling the Nobel Committee but I thought David Warner was immense yesterday. After his dismissal, he was straight out onto that balcony with his Clint Eastwood face on, invitiing and defying the camera’s scrutiny. When fielding, he attacked the ball like it had insulted his mother. He bowled the world’s highest, silliest bouncer and sledged it up loads while bowling at 70mph.
“Yes, the fake accidental shoulder-bump is the toddler’s version of machismo. But how mature can machismo ever be? And what purpose does mongrel defiance serve in such purposes? What can it matter in the midst of such humiliation? Well, I can’t help feeling that when it is all that is left to you, it matters very much. He stood right up to it. And he ended up looking like the least humiliated guy in the ground.
“He gained an admirer.”
Some more emails. The first comes from super smart Ian Copestake: “My background reading on the context of Adorno’s writing of “The Dialectic of Enlightenment” is having to come to a halt because of the greater importance of watching England not relinguish their throat hold on the Aussies. So as Adorno might have said ‘las uns dieses Schiesse machen’ [let’s do this].”
“Is your Granddad really called Alan Partridge?” Yes, Charles Horwood, he is. “That is excellent. I remember the BBC did a piece once about a guy in Scotland called Donald Duck who was named before the cartoon existed. He was a doctor and said one of his patients was nearly sectioned after insisting his GP was Donald Duck.”
With 20 minutes to go, why not enjoy this unaired 1986 episode of The Office, starring Sir Ian Botham? My personal favourite bit is where, four seconds in, he responds to a question about sexism with “look love”.
“So, Trent Bridge, first day, no Jimmy - this is going to be tough, isn’t it? By the way, I had a great dream last night...”
You’ve been having my dreams, Paul Mitchell. Get out of my head!
OBOs in history: this from Rob Smyth, 10 years ago today.
Related: Over-by-over: morning session
Now, I understand that with our Australian readers, we should be objective, even with the giddiness of yesterday. But what good is there to say about Australia yesterday? They scored their 60 runs at a decent enough rate and played positive, bad cricket? I was in the pub talking to people about whether we could find parallels between this match and any other in the Ashes and we were struggling to think of any – even Melbourne 2010. Is this going to be England’s best ever win? What can Australia, realistically do to salvage pride, if not the match?
“Can you make sure th Guardian produces the inevitable 60 t-shirt so I can buy one for my son who’s flying to Oz in 10 days time?” asks Cliff Challenger, who either stole my pseudonym or has the best name of anyone who isn’t my granddad (Alan Partridge, since you didn’t ask).
“Morning Dan.” Morning, Jonathan Day. “Apropos of nothing I took it upon myself to find a Bible passage relevant to yesterday’s magnificent events, with Chapter and Verse corresponding to Broady’s figures. Accordingly I give you Isaiah Chapter 8, Verse 15: “And many among them shall stumble, and fall, and be broken, and be snared, and be taken.” Which happily sums up the Aussie innings rather well.”
Away from the Ashes,this is also pretty amazing. Because it’s Chris Gayle, so of course it is.
I think this comment sums up how a lot of England fans felt yesterday:
Glorious comment pic.twitter.com/pBRXnRqUbQ
Morning folks. Some great news from yesterday: Larry David has a notebook full of ideas for a ninth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm! Personally I couldn’t be happier, one of the funniest sitcoms ever making a return, it puts me in the mood to revisit the classics. Palestinian Chicken, The Doll, The Table Read – there are few funnier half hours of TV than these. It’s not just Larry, the social assassin either, but the supporting characters: Jeff and Susie, Marty Funkhouser, Ted Danson …
OK, I’m filling space, but that’s because this Test match, and indeed this series, are done. With good weather forecast for the remaining four days, Australia are already 214 runs behind, England have six wickets in hand and Moeen Ali is due to come in at number bloody nine. Never in Ashes history have Australia overturned such a first-innings deficit and this is not a classic Australian batting line-up. They are cooked.
Related: 'Ashes disgrace', RIP cricket and a nudie run: how Australia's media reacted
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