Steven Finn took the crucial late wicket of Jacques Kallis to keep England's hopes alive after another superb day's play
Preamble Preamble? You want a preamble? It's the Saturday of the Lord's Test, the sun is burning, everything is at stake and a kid is 28 runs away from a moment that would melt the hardest heart. There's your preamble!
(Yes, yes I am running a bit late.)
Take the most exacting day's work of your life, multiply it by a thousand and you're still nowhere near what Jonny Bairstow went through yesterday. It will be such a challenge for him to get past this first hour, not least because, if he gets through the first eight overs, he will then have to contend with the second new ball. That new-ball period may well decide this match.
73rd over: England 210-5 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 74, Prior 22) It's a glorious day at Lord's, absolutely perfect. There will be some sore, pink shoulders in north west London at 7pm. Jacques Kallis is going to bowl the first over of the day, which shows that South Africa have an eye on that new ball. Bairstow tucks him through midwicket for two, the first runs of the day.
74th over: England 211-5 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 74, Prior 23) It'll be Morne Morkel at the other end. That might seem unusual, in that Dale Steyn doesn't take the new ball at the start of the innings, but that's because of the two left-handers at the top of the order and Morkel's hold over Strauss. Steyn will take the second new ball because there will probably be two right-handers. Even if Stuart Broad is in, Steyn won't mind. Morkel starts with an excellent, tight line to Prior, giving him no room to free his arms. Prior pushes a single to cover to end an excellent over.
"Crucial session this," says Peter Haines. "What a perfect set-up for the Saturday of the Lord's Test – this is definitely the sporting highlight of the year. Oh, and it seems that South Africa did end the career of a third England captain; it's just that it's Pietersen, not Strauss." With every passing day, the chances of him playing for England again seem to recede.
75th over: England 211-5 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 74, Prior 23) This is a fine, disciplined start from South Africa. Their line to Prior has been extremely good, and that's a maiden from Kallis. The camera cuts to a couple drinking champagne in the crowd, at 11.09am. "You can't afford to be dehydrated in this weather..." says Sir Ian Botham on Sky. What a day to be at Lord's. It's absolutely perfect. There's a lovely, respectful hush around the ground.
"They've got to say to themselves, runs don't matter this morning," says Chris Evans. "Be 260 for five at lunch and be 150 ahead at the close." Tell that to Matt Prior. I know what you mean, although I'm not sure it would be wise for Prior, or indeed Bairstow, to play such an unnatural game.
76th over: England 215-5 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 78, Prior 23) Morkel is a touch too full and straight, the first bad ball of the day, and Bairstow drags him through midwicket for four. He's 22 away from one of the great feelgood centuries of the last decade. Please please please let him get what he wants.
"Eff being 260/5 at lunch," says Josh Robinson. "Being 360/8 would be fine. More than fine, obviously, given the other ways in which batting in that style might turn out."
77th over: England 216-5 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 78, Prior 24) South Africa are giving Prior absolutely nothing to work with here. Their plan is to control the scoreboard until the second new ball, and they've done it very well; there have been eight runs from five overs this morning.
78th over: England 219-5 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 80, Prior 25) Bairstow works Morkel through midwicket for a couple to move into the eighties. "STOP talking about a possible c*****y!!" says David Ward.
79th over: England 220-5 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 80, Prior 26) Tahir bowls a token over before the new ball in the hope he can snare Prior for the third time in the series. He doesn't. The camera cuts to more people drinking pink champagne. The gits. That's right: gits.
"Is it arguable that Onions and Monty in the side for Broad and Swann would make the team stronger?" says Jatinder Sahota. "This is especially the case with Swann who I think has been below par for a while now. Finn may not be as good a bat as Bresnan but by keeping him out of the team until now surely England weakened themselves overall – and doesn't the same principle apply?" You could certainly make that case, although it's moot because there is no chance of England ever going in with a tail of Finn, Anderson, Onions and Panesar. Good for last-day rearguards, I suppose, but I'm not sure about them actually scoring any runs. Onions is a fascinating bowler. I know Selve thought he would have been a good option in this game, and he took a couple for Durham the other day. In a different era he would already have 100 Test wickets.
80th over: England 221-5 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 80, Prior 27) Dale Steyn is coming on. He'll have one over to get loose with the old ball – and he makes it talk, snapping a beauty past Prior's outside edge. The next goes past the edge too, although that one didn't really deviate. Prior has made five from 26 balls this morning, a reflection of South Africa's disciplined line.
WICKET! England 221-6 (Prior c Kallis b Philander 27) Pour yourself some pink champagne, get behind the sofa, do whatever you need to do because it's time for the second new ball – possibly the decisive period of the entire series. And Prior has gone first ball! Oh for heaven's sake. He had a big drive at a seductive outswinger from Philander that flew off the edge to Kallis at second slip. It was really travelling but Kallis held on, as he always does. Matt Prior will not, it's fair to say, tell his grandchildren about that stroke. It was a minor shocker.
81st over: England 221-6 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 80, Broad 0) England could get cleaned up here. Stuart Broad, the new batsman, really needs a few runs. Philander is getting the new ball to swing appreciably, although his line to the left-hander isn't right at the moment. He moves around the wicket as a result and has a huge shout for LBW turned down when Broad misses a yorker. They have to review this surely? No, Graeme Smith has decided against it. It swung a long way so it might have slipped down the leg side, but that was really close. Hawkeye shows that it was missing leg. That's an excellent bit of judgement from Smith and the keeper AB de Villiers. A wicket maiden from Philander, and an ominous one for England.
82nd over: England 225-6 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 84, Broad 0) Bairstow times Steyn nicely through the covers for four. Steyn is getting the ball to swing as well, so this is going to be a serious challenge for the England batsmen. If you offered Andy Flower and Andrew Strauss a total of 300 now in exchange for their deepest, darkest secrets, I reckon they'd sing like canaries.
"There's no need for pink champage envy Rib," begins Duncan Smith, promisingly. "I am quite sure, from your rarified position you could easily start a JustGiving page. I think all of us here on the obo value you enough to contribute funds for a bottle of Lambrusco and some cochineal." If you make it Lambrini it's a deal.
83rd over: England 228-6 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 86, Broad 1) Philander goes back over the wicket to Broad, who flick-pulls pleasantly for a single to get off the mark. Then Bairstow steals a second to long leg. He has been excellent between the wickets in this innings. Here's an interesting stat (which may well be meaningless in a few minutes, but still). In the last 30 years, only two men have scored Test centuries for England before their 23rd birthday: Mike Atherton and Alastair Cook. And only 13 players have done it overall.
"Every ball, every ball is so, so tense," says Gary Naylor. "And they say a T20 innings is 120 events."
84th over: England 232-6 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 86, Broad 5) Broad normally likes to counter-attack, although the context makes that extremely difficult. He is beaten by Steyn, chasing a wide one off the back foot when he should have been forward, and then pings a crisp cover drive for four. England trail by 77.
"Also, you can tell Broad knows he's batting terribly at the moment. He hasn't even been hogging the reviews like he normally does," says Elliot Carr-Barnsley. "A year or so ago he'd be waving his arms like a semaphore operative even if his middle stump was hurtling towards the slips."
85th over: England 236-6 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 90, Broad 5) That's a lovely stroke from Bairstow, a stiff-wristed crunch through midwicket for four off Philander. He's into the nineties. He's into the bloody nineties. There isn't a dry nail in the house.
"Oh balls," says Guy Hornsby, suddenly recalling The Bad Thing from last night. "That's got to be galling for Prior. Right up there with finishing fourth in the marathon, running out of paint when you get to the last part of the wall, treading on an upturned plug, and writing your best OBO mail ever only to send it in after the close of play. Are the pavilion windows intact? The balance is back with South Africa again surely. This is such a PROPER Test match. Bairstow looking for a ton, Broad in need of sensible runs, England looking for a lead and South Africa looking for a lead. It doesn't get much better than this really. This is the Flamin' Hot Monster Munch of Test matches."
86th over: England 243-6 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 94, Broad 8) Broad drives Steyn on the up through extra cover for three. I wonder what Jonny Bairstow's pulse rate is right now. Whatever it was, it's just gone up a bit more: he is beaten by a jaffa from Steyn and edges the next ball wide of the slips for four. I don't think it would have carried anyway, but it was a genuine edge. Does anyone have any beta blockers I can borrow for the next 20 minutes?
"I must confess to being more nervous watching this than I was on my wedding day, at the birth of my children or being swabbed at immigration at Auckland airport," says Phil Withall, to the delight of his wife, his children and the crack swab team at Auckland airport. "Please let young Bairstow do it, please.
87th over: England 251-6 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 94, Broad 16) Broad shovels the new bowler Morkel off the hip for a couple, with Steyn doing very well to save the boundary. Sometimes, when you see those boundary saves, you think, All that for one or two runs. Not in this game. Every run is a precious thing – and Broad gets four more with a superbly timed squirt through point. A drag through midwicket for two takes England past 250. The unspoken intensity of this Test match is just wonderful.
WICKET! England 252-7 (Broad c Amla b Steyn 16) That's the end of Broad's cameo. Steyn dug in an excellent, straight short ball that Broad could only push gently to Amla at short leg. It was all strangely straightforward, and Steyn barely bothered to celebrate. Those are decent runs from Broad, though, 16 from 22 balls. South Africa lead by 57.
88th over: England 253-7 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 95, Swann 1) Swann is greeted with a zesty short ball that trampolines past his not inconsiderable chin. "Can Bairstow please get his century so I can start concentrating on the research I am trying to do in the British Library?" says Eva Broer. "This is too tense to be able to focus on some 16th century popes and their taste in art..."
89th over: England 254-7 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 95, Swann 2) On the England balcony, Andrew Strauss is munching on his right fingernail. He's really tucking in too. Everyone is so desperate for Bairstow to do this. South Africa are prolonging the moment, with Morkel bowling temptingly wide of off stump. Bairstow is not tempted.
"Perhaps Duncan Smith would like to contribute to my JustGiving page as you don't have one?" says my colleague Steph Fincham. "I'll be cycling across Rajasthan in February to raise money for the children's cancer charity CLIC Sargent..."
90th over: England 262-7 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 95, Swann 10) Swann slashes Steyn up and over the cordon for four. The response is an angry short ball that Swann pulls contemptuously for four more! At the risk of asserting the bleedin' obvious, this is great stuff. In other news, some other news from India: VVS Laxman, one of the more beautiful batsmen we've ever seen, has retired from international cricket.
"On TMS they just mentioned how good a throwing arm Steyn has from the deep," says John Starbuck. "I suspect it's because he's an expert at the wrist action – have you noticed how he whips the wrist down at the moment of delivery? It's a lot more pronounced than anyone else's in this game, almost on a par with a mainstream spinner." That's a good point. Flintoff had a notable snap of the wrist as well.
91st over: England 262-7 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 95, Swann 10) Bairstow fresh-airs a woolly cut stroke at a very wide delivery from Morkel. He does exactly the same next ball. "Settle boy, settle," pleads David Gower on Sky. When Bairstow leaves the next ball, there is extravagant applause from the crowd. I can't remember the last time when everyone was so desperate for an England batsman to make a century. Graham Thorpe in 2003 maybe? South Africa are expertly prolonging his stay in the nineties, bowling wide of off stump for the most part. It's a maiden from Morkel, who has been outstanding this morning. Bairstow has already faced 21 deliveries in the nineties.
REVIEW! England 264-7 (Swann not out 12) The marvellous Dale Steyn strikes again! Swann is going to review it – there are two left, so he may as well – but he's in trouble here. He pushed down the wrong line of a good delivery that jagged back into him. But Hawkeye says it was bouncing over the stumps! Swann survives! What a bonus for England. I think Swann thought he was out and only reviewed it because there were two left.
92nd over: England 264-7 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Bairstow 95, Swann 12) "Prior's dismissal means he is currently second in both the England batting aggregates and averages to he who shall not be named, who is also top of England's bowling averages," says Graem Peters. "At the end of the series, the head coaches are each allowed to choose the opposition player of the series. It would be interesting to see what would happen if Kirsten chose Kevin Pietersen." Crikey, that's a good point. It wouldn't quite be up there with Mohammad Amir two years ago but it would still be uncomfortable. They might give it to Anderson, whose series average of 41.85 is a travesty.
WICKET! England 264-8 (Bairstow b Morkel 95) English cricket has just had its heart broken. Jonny Bairstow has gone for 95, cleaned up by an excellent full-length delivery from Morne Morkel. Bairstow tried to whip it to leg but it ducked back in and burst through his defences. He walks off to a standing ovation for an immense innings, and if you're not moved by this, you don't have an anima. We must be two-eyed and say that it was majestic bowling from Morkel, who kept Bairstow in the nineties and then bowled him with a beauty. Bairstow made only one run in his last 40 minutes at the crease.
93rd over: England 266-8 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 12, Anderson 2) Crikey. This email, which must have been stuck in a jam on the information superhighway, is accompanied by big dollops of sadness. "Irrespective of whether he gets his hundred, this has been a terrific innings by Bairstow," says SB Tang. "He's shown guts, determination and no small amount of skill under the most difficult of circumstances. It's safe to say that he's booked his ticket to India this winter." That will be a big tour for him, because he had problems there in the ODIs last year. I suppose the seven batsmen in the squad could be the six from this game plus Bopara.
94th over: England 268-8 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 12, Anderson 2) Graeme Swann did make 85 against South Africa back in 2009-10. England would take half that here, even a third of it. He may as well tee off and try to get as close to 300 as possible. Give it some humpty, it's the weekend.
Here's Tom Bowtell. "On TMS, Blowers, apropos of something, just said: 'Geoffrey Boycott has a corridor of uncertainty in his bed'." Oh that is magnificent.
95th over: England 274-8 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 13, Anderson 7) Anderson gloves a grisly short ball from Morkel short of slip – his hand was off the bat, Mr Tucker – and then drives three through mid on. There is plenty of chat between Morkel and Anderson, two gentle souls who get in character as soon as they enter the field. South Africa lead by 35.
"I must say," says Josh Robinson, "there was something wonderfully reassuring about the way Bairstow got out: it showed me that I can at least play around a
straight one just like a Test batsman, even if it usually happens much earlier in my innings."
96th over: England 276-8 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 14, Anderson 8) Philander replaces Steyn, who bowled a fine spell of 8-1-28-1. Anderson steals a run to mid off. Every little helps. "What an innings Bairstow played and it would be a huge surprise if he isn't a fixture in the team for the next ten years," says Mark Lloyd, who has quite the memory on him. "Back in the dark days of 1989 I was lucky enough to be at Lord's to see a David Gower Ashes hundred but the innings I remember more is Robin Smith's 96. Terry Alderman denied him a maiden hundred with a beauty that nipped back and bowled him. I remember at the time wondering if that would be the closest Smith ever got to a Test century. I only hope Bairstow ends up a) becoming as important to England as Smith became, and b) being treated better than Smith was by the selectors. Hats off to the young man!"
I can't find a clip of that dismissal, but here's a bit of Alderman action from 1989, when he was close to unplayable. I suppose it helps if you actually try to play him.
97th over: England 277-8 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 14, Anderson 8) Anderson is rapped painfully on the left elbow by Morkel. You could see all the muscles pulsating at the point of contact. He's getting some treatment, although he doesn't seem especially perturbed. This delay will ensure that this is the last over before lunch. Anderson plays out those two deliveries to end another brilliant session of Test cricket. South Africa were outstanding, making England fight for every run, and they lead by 32. Jonny Bairstow was dismissed five runs short of a maiden Test century. Like the man said, it's been emotional. Rob Bagchi will be here for the afternoon session; email him on rob.bagchi@guardian.co.uk.
LUNCH Afternoon all. Here's our story on the retirement of VVS Laxman which, I think, is an inevitable consequence of his recent form but nonetheless saddens me that I won't see him bat again. At his best he had a dreamlike quality of composure when well-set, the ability to transform a commonplace shot such as a leg-glance into a thing of charm and a handsome ease at piercing the infield that kept the scoreboard moving at a pace that perplexed the assumptions of bowler and spectator alike.
Rob Wright has invaded Selve's inner sanctum, which is more than I have done as he notes: "Just had a tour of the Lord's media centre, including the bit where all the papers do their OBOs. I excitedly enquired whether Rob Smyth and Rob Bagchi might be there, and was met with a blank stare. Met Boycott and Gower though." We're in Kings Cross, Rob, which allows us the scope to moonlight on football later this afternoon though we'd much prefer to be there.
Wicket!! Anderson c Rudolph b Steyn 12 Fending off the fourth short ball he's faced, the last of this over, he takes his eyes off it and dollies it up for third slip to run six feet in and catch it.
98th over: England 283-9 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 17, Finn 0) An enthralling morning session with honours just about even, England scoring 67 for the loss of three wickets and some supreme bowling from Morne Morkel. Steyn begins from the Pavilion End, dishing up another elbow polka for Anderson who is now wearing a bandage covered by a sweatband on his bruised left funny bone. The first three balls are all short of a length, Anderson stepping to leg and cut-pushing the last of them to third man where the fielder's slip gives England three. Steyn finally pitches one up to Swann who tucks in with an on-drive to within a foot of the rope and they run three more. Anderson is out from the last ball of the over, England 26 behind.
99th over: England 291-9 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 23, Finn 2) Tahir comes on to toy with Finn's mind. Swann takes a single off the first ball and Finn accomplishes himself well to get off the mark with a toppling sweep. The batsmen swap singles again, leaving Swann on strike for the last ball and he belts it over midwicket for four.
100th over: England 293-9 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 23, Finn 4) Steyn peppers Finn but he gets in line to play it off his chest well short of short leg. The next one is another bouncer, not played so well, Finn fending it to where silly point might have been placed. Next Steyn pitches it up, drifts to leg and Finn tucks him away for two. This short stuff eventually worked for Anderson and Broad but it's a relentless, bullying strategy and the umpires let it pass. Finn withdraws the bat from the last ball of the over, another half-tracker, and it glances him on the shoulder on its way through to De Villiers.
101st over: England 294-9 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 24, Finn 4) Philander, buttock knack and all, replaces Tahir after the leggie's solitary over. Swann pushes a single and puts Finn back on strike. Big Vern is bowling Broad pace and surprises himself and Finn with low bounce to which the batsman shows the maker's name. He gets in line, Finn. If he's a rabbit he's not the kind that runs down a hole by the square leg umpire.
102nd over: England 297-9 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 25, Finn 4) Swann has Steve Waugh-like confidence in his partner, taking another single off the first ball of an over. A "red-inker", chides Nasser Hussain. At times like this Steyn looks like a shark, all nose and teeth and cold, cold eyes. What a magnificent and vicious bowler he is, though, smacking Finn on the helmet behind his ear and they take a leg-bye. A few inches lower and that ball would have put Finn in hospital. At last Swann farms the bowling, swatting a cut off the top half of the bat down to backward point and running one to end the over.
103rd over: England 298-9 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 26, Finn 4) Philander looks as stiff as a scarecrow but gamely soldiers on. No swing. "Without wishing to underplay the quality of Bairstow's innings, and its importance in the context, aren't people being a bit premature in taking it to show that he's sure to be a success in Test cricket now?" writes David Wall. "That's one success in four matches when in the previous ones he looked pretty unconvincing. Moreover, as it turned out, his innings sadly fell short of being decisive in the match. England do have to win, after all. That's not to say it's not a good sign, and I hope he does continue to show the resilience and quality he showed here, but he wouldn't be the first who failed to build on early promise." He wouldn't David but what was encouraging was the signs that he'd taken on board the weaknesses West Indies exposed and done something about it. "What is a sure sign of quality (in a different field, of course) is the way Blowers just used 'tautological' in his commentary on TMS in a throwaway fashion" he continues. "It's a sad reminder that we're going to have to endure Jonathan Pearce and Alan Green for the next nine months."
104th over: England 303-9 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 26, Finn 8) Finn sways out of the way of one that goes past his chin so Steyn comes round the wicket, bounces him, and Finn hooks him for four. "Oh right," writes Dale Slater. "When Steyn goes short he's bullying and you're looking for intervention from the umpires. When Anderson and Finn are relentlessly short to Steyn in bad light and floodlight failure, it's a strategy of some merit. The only bullying that's going on here is those who control the means of communication taking advantage of it to reinforce their own little prejudices and pop a few more bricks in their wall of stereotypes." Wow. When did I say bullying in a cricket context was a bad thing? I said it was relentless and understandable given it did for Anderson and Broad and that umpires these days don't do anything about it, not that they "should".
105th over: England 308-9 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 32, Finn 8) Swann leans into an off-drive, eyes wide, and smashes a four over mid-off from Philander's slightly overpitched third delivery. "Crucial session this," writes Peter Hanes. "Swann's hitting and Finn's bravery are raising England's spirits, but they could be up against it if South Africa make the most of the good batting conditions now. This is great cricket." It is.
106th over: England 312-9 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 35, Finn 9) England draw level when Swann leg-glances Steyn for a single and ahead when Finn prods one into the off-side.
107th over: England 314-9 (in reply to South Africa's 309; Swann 36, Finn 10) Smith drops Finn at first slip, a straightforward chance that bursts through his hands and into his chest. Finn runs a single as the ball cannons of towards leg gully. "Knowing words like 'tautological' doesn't mean you can't have a howler or two," writes John Starbuck. "Blowers this afternoon has already failed to identify 'turbine' as the modern kind of windmill and also said he'd never seen a bat in the form of a cake. Me too." He was on tip top pork pie eulogising form on Thursday. Ian Copestake says: "The key to bringing the literacy level of footer commentary up to and beyond that of cricket is by unleashing the glories of Stuart Hall at every possible match. He would eat tautologies for lunch and make a feast of his own alliterative biscuits." A gem:
"On his firm Stuart Hall International Travel: 'I've never been brilliant in business. If you have an artistic bent, you're never going to be good at the logistics of business. I've no time for all that. I'm the man who ran $hit Travel - what a great venture that was.'
Wicket!! Finn c Duminy b Morkel 10 England are all out for 315, six runs ahead. Morkel copped him with a slower ball, his bat through the uppercut too soon and slicing it up to Duminy at point. Swann's vital innings ended on 37 not out.
Innings break
1st over: South Africa 0-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 0, Smith 0) Anderson begins to Petersen with his tail up and mithering about the indent/foothold on the crease where his left foot lands. Smyth has sent me a stat that none of the last 24 Lord's Test have been won by the team trailing on first innings. Interesting but as he points out, probably means nothing in this context. Every ball bar the last is on an outside-off line but the sixth hurries Petersen into a drive that squirts off the edge towards cover. On come the ground staff with their saw dust to fix the hole.
2nd over: South Africa 2-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 1, Smith 1) Dale Slater's been back on. "Point was, that whenever an English journalist hears the words 'South Africa' he finds in his Book of Cliches that the true meaning of the phrase is 'Nasty Bully' - just as surely as he finds the word 'Englishman' actually denotes 'Plucky lad grinding on against incredible odds'! Honestly, you reach for these phrases with Pavlovian predictability; you don't even know you're doing it!" And he who seeks prejudice where there is none, what is he? Have you read the respect and admiration we've shown for South Africa throughout this series? Or taken the word "bullying" and inflated it for all its worth to pander to your sense of victimhood? Smith plays a loose hook of Broad from a ball that was wider and bounced higher than he initially thought. He gets enough on it to clear midwicket and it drops like a stone 30ft in from the boundary.
3rd over: South Africa 6-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 5, Smith 1) Glorious whipped shot from Petersen through midwicket for four. Anderson was looking for outswing and the edge but it didn't deviate. The fifth ball of his over did, though, jagging away from Petersen's forward defensive and into Prior's hands. The England players' squeals are louder than the crowd's.
4th over: South Africa 7-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 5, Smith 2) Huge appeal from Broad when he thinks he's got Petersen leg-before with the batsman prodding around the ball but he got an inside edge, as the replay confirmed. "It may be worth mentioning that Blowers only used 'tautological' to try and dig himself out of the hole he'd dug by saying Finn had got himself tucked up in 'angular angles'," writes Hugh Barker. Those pesky angular angles.
5th over: South Africa 12-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 9, Smith 3) Forgot to mention that South Africa had knocked off the deficit in the third over and had now moved into the black. Anderson comes round the wicket to Smith and he plays that trusty shovel shot around the corner and takes the single. David Gower thinks England are playing to his strengths because he's also vulnerable with that shot early in his innings. Anderson's got the face on, more so when Petersen plays a majestic cut for four.
6th over: South Africa 17-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 13, Smith 4) Broad resumes after a length chat with Anderson and then much gesturing from third slip with Fingerbobs hands to show him how the ball should be moving. He bounces Smith first up but then strays too straight, allowing Smith to turn it to square leg. He tosses the next ball up to Petersen, who smacks him through the covers for four. Time for Finn. Smith changes his bowlers much quicker than Strauss does.
7th over: South Africa 17-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 13, Smith 4) Anderson bowls one of Boycott's "lollipop bouncers" to Smith who has an age to duck out of the way. "Just to clarify, it wasn't the word 'tautological' that was nice about that bit of commentary but the completely natural, throwaway way in which he used it (and why not, it's a perfectly cromulent word)," writes David Wall. "If Clive Tyldsley had used a similar word or phrase then he'd keep trying to work it into the rest of the commentary just to remind everyone how clever he'd been." Sorry. I'm anispeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombobulation. Smith chases another wide bouncer, hooking and top edging squarish but short of Ian Bell who stops the single.
8th over: South Africa 20-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 14, Smith 6) It's still Broad, still barely breaking 80mph. Petersen taps a single through the legside and Strauss runs from slip to chat to him which, if it was meant to inspire him, doesn't as he bowls a wide long-hop outside leg stump. He drops short again and Smith hooks him off his visor, a neat controlled pull that the hare Bairstow prevents from going for four with a sprint and a slide. Richard Potter can stand for many of you on the subject of Dale Slater. "He says: 'Honestly, you reach for these phrases with Pavlovian predictability.' That, Sir, is drivel, and you know it."
9th over: South Africa 22-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 16, Smith 6) Big shout when Anderson traps Petersen on the pad, pushing forward. It hit him outside the line. More from proud Cantabrigian, Richard Potter: "'angular angles' from Blowers was more oxymoronic than 'tautological'. Blowers from Cambridge would agree - Oxymorons are people from the other place …"
10th over: South Africa 22-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 16, Smith 6) Swann comes into the attack and places a short-leg, short midwicket and slip for Smith. The bowler turns it from the start, enticing Smith, as is his wont, to hit against the spin towards square leg and midwicket, which he does a couple of times competently even if it excites Matt Prior enormously. Maiden.
11th over: South Africa 24-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 17, Smith 7) White handle grips still look odd to me, you can't see the join with the gloves when Petersen hits powerfully. Anderson continues, looking rather mournful about the lack of consistent or even regular swing. "Julian Barton de Courcy Thompson, who played for Kent in the 90s was a right arm quick bowler," writes Nick Mannion. He was actually South African and also a medical doctor … of gynaecology as it happens… Apparently he was/is the go to expert on the corridor of uncertainty." Fnarr.
12th over: South Africa 24-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 17, Smith 7) Swann continues with his line of attack to Smith who again works the ball against the spin into the legside. He catches Petersen on the front leg prodding forward and appeals though it hit him outside the line, so Swann bowls a bit straighter.
13th over: South Africa 31-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 18, Smith 13) "Afternoon Bagchi, afternoon everybody," writes Josh/Johs Robinson. "I think I've found a good use for Twitter. If an email is bad enough that even you won't publish it, one can tweet it to the good folks over at the Sofa, and they'll read it out to all their listeners. OK, so maybe there's a case to be made that emails that aren't good enough even to appear on the OBO are best left in Robinson's sent mail folder. Yes, I think I've convinced myself that that's actually yet another example of why Twitter is evil. It is the place where this appeared, though." Unimprovably put by Wiggins. Finn takes over from Anderson. His first three balls are shortish and outside off, Smith playing and missing the first then clumping him for four with a bludgeoning cut.
14th over: South Africa 32-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 19, Smith 13) Swann is devilishly interested in testing whether Smith can play against the spin with as much efficacy as he did at the Oval, trying to tempt him into an outside edge when playing across the line. So far Smith has had the upper hand. One more over before tea.
15th over: South Africa 33-0 (England lead by six runs on first innings; Petersen 20, Smith 13) Finn comes in to Petersen with Nasser Hussain suggesting the tickle down the legside to the keeper is the dismissal they're aiming for and he does have a drive at one drifting across him that he misses and then gets off strike the next ball with a push to mid on. South Africa end the session 27 ahead. Thanks for all your emails, particularly Clare Davies and her detective work. Rob Smyth will be here for the evening session.
TEA
Hello again. This doesn't look too pretty, does it. The new ball deviated about as much as a prissy nun, and unless England get some reverse swing they are going to find it very difficult to force a winning position. We'll have a pretty good idea of where the match is heading by the close; there are still 37 overs remaining in the day.
Meanwhile, at the Oval Just look at this!
16th over: South Africa 33-0 (England led by six runs on first innings; Petersen 20, Smith 13) England have around 100-120 overs from now to bowl South Africa out if they are to have a chance of winning the game. It really won't be easy as the pitch is a belter. Swann starts after tea to Petersen, with a slip and a short leg. It's a maiden.
17th over: South Africa 34-0 (England led by six runs on first innings; Petersen 20, Smith 14) Despite his failure in the first innings, Graeme Smith still has a three-figure average at Lord's. He leaves a delivery from Steven Finn that isn't too far of off stump, although ultimately Smith knew what he was doing. He wasn't so sure next ball, when an attempted pull met only with still air. A good over from Finn.
REVIEW! South Africa 34-0 (Smith not out 14) England have wasted a review. Smith was beaten by a beauty from Swann that ripped past the edge and the fielders behind the stumps (though not Swann) went up for caught behind. Kumar Dharmasena said not out – which I suppose is reason enough to review given his performance in this game – and replays showed there was daylight between bat and ball. There was more than a hint of desperation in that review.
18th over: South Africa 34-0 (England led by six runs on first innings; Petersen 20, Smith 14) So what's England's minimum requirement in the remaining 35 overs? I suppose they would want at least two wickets, ideally three. "On the subject of the photo at the top," says Mac Millings, "I didn't know Naylor had taken up smoking." Here, for those who were wondering, is a picture of Mac Millings.
19th over: South Africa 35-0 (England led by six runs on first innings; Petersen 21, Smith 14) Petersen pulls Finn for a single. England do at least have control of the scoreboard, which is a quarter of the battle. If England are to somehow win this game it will probably come down to a time/runs equation.
"This is why I'm not showing my face in that picture," says Mac Millings.
20th over: South Africa 35-0 (England led by six runs on first innings; Petersen 21, Smith 14) Yet another maiden, from Swann to Petersen. His figures are 6-4-2-0. With many teams you'd say that this almost strokeless batting approach would be risky, but South Africa's top six have the discipline to bat forever, regardless of what the scoreboard is doing.
"Aaargh!" says Phil Sawyer. "Smyth, I hold you entirely responsible for the fall of that last Middlesex wicket. Lancashire desperately needed a Surrey defeat to at least keep within touching distance of avoiding relegation going into the fag end of the season, and the impossible was just starting to look possible until you went and flagged it up to the world. No hotpot for you."
21st over: South Africa 42-0 (England led by six runs on first innings; Petersen 23, Smith 19) Smith back cuts Finn for the first boundary in eight overs. "Getting twitchy at all the commentators jinxing the South African batsman with talk of their imperturbability," says Helen Musselman. It's not an attempt to jink them, just a sincere judgement as to how the game is developing. I'd be surprised if South Africa lost another wicket all match, never mind 10 by tea tomorrow.
WICKET! South Africa 46-1 (Smith LBW b Swann 23) Graeme Swann has got him! I was just typing 'The certainty of Smith's batting is awe-inspiring and terrifying' when he went for an ugly sweep, missing it completely as the ball zipped on to hit the pad. Kumar Dharmasena raised the finger, and after a long discussion with Alviro Petersen, Smith decided to walk off without reviewing the decision. He was right to do so: Hawkeye showed the point of contact was 'umpire's call' and it was hitting the just below the off-and-middle stump bail. There was no need for Smith to play that shot. Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head.
22nd over: South Africa 46-1 (England led by six runs on first innings; Petersen 23, Amla 0) The new batsman is Hashim Amla. He has struggled a little since that triple hundred at the Oval – his series average is an embarrassing 120.33. He defends his first ball from Swann, who has a lovely rhythm and figures of 7-4-6-1.
"I have a bottle of Joseph Perrier in the fridge for emergency celebrations," says Josh Robinson. "I was planning on opening it when Bairstow got his ton, and after he fell for 95 I decided to open it when Middlesex hit the runs that consigned Surrey to defeat. Now I think I should decide to open it at the moment when South Africa's series victory is confirmed. I think that's what they call hedging."
23rd over: South Africa 48-1 (England led by six runs on first innings; Petersen 24, Amla 1) Stuart Broad replaces Finn, and his first ball reverse swings in towards Petersen. Two more later in the over shape back into Amla. This is really encouraging for England because the ball is only 23 overs old. Hence the '23rd over' bit at the top of this entry, yeah?
"Is there a league table of Test bowlers and their record of successful DRS decisions?" says John Starbuck. "Swann must be on it somewhere. Perhaps more pertinently, does it include umpires too?" I have no idea, but I do know that Aleem Dar has a 110 per cent success rate.
24th over: South Africa 49-1 (England led by six runs on first innings; Petersen 24, Amla 2) "I want to see Max Millings when he was a young man, when his wife's heart stopped at her first sight of him, when she fell helpless into his arms and whispered 'take me'," writes Mac Millings Alex Xu.
WICKET! South Africa 50-2 (Petersen LBW b Broad 24) Another one gone! England are flying! Broad had Amla dropped two balls earlier and then trapped Petersen plumb in front with a beautiful reverse inswinger. Petersen played across the line and knew immediately he was gone. He didn't even consider a review. What a stunning Test match this has been. Twenty minutes ago England were moving towards the brink; now they have two wickets, the ball is reversing and all bets are off.
25th over: South Africa 50-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 3, Kallis 0) England could have had another wicket, but Prior dropped Amla earlier in the over. It was a difficult chance diving to his left when Amla gloved a short from Broad down the leg side, but Prior almost always takes those. Prior was really angry, almost gritting his teeth as he shook his head. The wicket of Petersen soon changed his mood.
26th over: South Africa 52-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 4, Kallis 1) Strauss must be tempted to give Kallis a couple of others of rough stuff from Finn. Against that Swann is bowling really well, and Kalls gets an inside edge onto the pad and not far wide of Taylor at short leg. South Africa by 46. Can anyone lend me some beta-blockers please?
"My good chum Dominic Sayers did an Umpires' DRS-o-meter in April of last year," says Ant Pease. "It's now out of date, but shows pretty much what you just said; that Aleem Dar is very good indeed. Daryl Harper, not so much."
27th over: South Africa 57-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 8, Kallis 2) Kallis has a filthy record on this ground: 23 runs in four Test innings before this, one run in two ODI innings and 20-odd in his only T20 knock here. He hooks Broad for a single and then Amla plays a gorgeous back-foot square drive for four.
"Please don't get carried away," says Clare Davies. "England are not 'flying'. It's just good Test cricket and the most excited we should get is to exclaim 'Game on' in discreet and refined tones. All right?"
28th over: South Africa 61-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 8, Kallis 6) The camera cuts to an admirable obese gentleman in the pavilion as Swann comes in to bowl again. After blocking a few, Kallis drives Swann imperiously over mid on for four. That was a seriously good shot.
"The photo," says Iain Chambers. "I'm pretty sure that old geezer puffing on a stogie forgot his bow tie and has cunningly fashioned one out if a Tunnocks caramel wafer wrapper."
29th over: South Africa 66-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 8, Kallis 6) Amla wears a short ball from Broad on the body – and then Kallis takes one on the helmet, completely missing an attempted hook. The ball bounced off the helmet and overs the slips for four leg byes. I would definitely give Finn a short spell at Swann's end before Kallis gets his eye in.
30th over: South Africa 70-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 11, Kallis 7) "I think it's time to retire the term '110%'," says John Starbuck. "Ever since Chancellor Ozzy started using it, in what he (probably) fondly imagines to be a knowing, ironic way, it's become the numerate's equivalent of 'inter web', still employed by crass lifestyle journalists. Squares, the lot of 'em." Oh it's a hideous term. I used it knowingly. Obviously. In fact it's a decent rule of thumb: if you read a cringeworthy term or phrase on the OBO, just assume it's being used knowingly. Yeah?
31st over: South Africa 81-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 12, Kallis 16) Kallis makes room to uppercut Broad high over the cordon for four, and concludes the over with another boundary, driven beautifully off the back foot. This pair have regrouped calmly after that manic 10 minutes when England took two wickets and had Amla dropped.
"If I stay in this pub with my gin, not talking to anyone and only reading the OBO, will I forget about football?" says Liz Rippin. "Or will Amla ruin my weekend anyway by batting his way to a million runs? Please advise." Are you a Liverpool fan? Did they not win today? Oh well, there's always 2013-14. Besides, if you drink enough gin, by 11pm you'll be convinced they won 7-1, with all eight goals from Andy Carroll.
32nd over: South Africa 85-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 16, Kallis 16) What a beautiful shot from Amla. He was given a hint of width by Swann, and skipped back to cut it emphatically for four.
"Amla, when he's facing Swann, is shuffling from leg to off to a ridiculous degree. By the time he hits the ball, his leg stump is completely exposed," says SB Tang. "Swann just needs to spear in a well-disguised yorker onto his leg stump. I seem to recall Amir dismissing Simon Katich — another obdurate leg-to-off shuffler — at Headingley in July 2010 with a ball that pitched outside leg and swung back to clatter into the leg stump."
33rd over: South Africa 92-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 20, Kallis 19) Anderson replaces Broad, who bowled a good ageing-ball spell of 5-0-19-1. He strives for a reverse swinging yorker to Kallis, who waves it superbly wide of mid on for three. Amla then pings a beautiful square drive for four. South Africa have scored 22 from the last three overs; the mood of the match has changed yet again.
34th over: South Africa 94-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 21, Kallis 20) Swann is milked for a couple. This partnership is starting to look a little ominous for England.
35th over: South Africa 101-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 28, Kallis 20) Amla brings up a fine fifty partnership with a thick edge for four off Anderson. South Africa lead by 94, there are 17 overs left in the day, and England are in the same postcode as the place called 'need a wicket'.
36th over: South Africa 102-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 29, Kallis 20) Amla sweeps Swann for another single. These two look a bit too comfortable for comfort. It might well be time for a bit of Finn music with a couple of men back.
"I'm following the cricket to forget about that other sport, and the repeated mental beatings that Liverpool visit upon me," says Matt Dony. "Three months of excitement wiped out in 90 painful minutes. Please don't add to that. Just allow me to read about the jeffing cricket. I've been nothing but supportive, and I always defend your crass cliches as 'knowing'. All I ask is a little reciprocation. Viva cricket!" There's no need to be sad. I don't care what anyone says, the race for a Champions League place in 2018-19 is wide open.
37th over: South Africa 111-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 30, Kallis 24) The ball hasn't reversed much for Anderson. A couple of induckers but nothing more. Kallis opens the face to steer another boundary to the vacant third-man area, and the following delivery swings down the leg side for four byes. South Africa are scoring far too quickly at the moment, with 41 from the last seven overs.
38th over: South Africa 112-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 31, Kallis 24) Swann breathes new life into the game with a fine over that include three huge appeals. He begs for LBW when Amla is hit on the back leg, but Kumar Dharmasena says not out. Swann wants to review it, Strauss is not convinced. England have only one review left and I suppose they can't risk it. It's the right decision as it hit the pad outside the line of off stump. There's an even bigger appeal next ball when Amla gets in a tangle as he attempts a slap to leg. Again Dharmasena says not out, again England decide not to review and again it's the right decision: this one was turning past the leg stump. Then there's a third LBW appeal, this time against Kallis. It wasn't a bad shout but he was outside the line. Excellent work from Kumar Dharmasena, who after an iffy start to this match has had a very good day.
39th over: South Africa 116-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 35, Kallis 24) Finn comes on for Anderson. England are starting to make things happen again at the end of a long day. Amla inside edges consecutive deliveries, the first wide of off stump for two and the second onto the pad, from where it lands safely on the off side. There are 13 overs remaining today. Please please please please please let England take another wicket or seven.
40th over: South Africa 121-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 39, Kallis 25) Swann now has no slip but two men on the leg side, short leg and backward short leg. Amla clips a full delivery through midwicket for four with beautiful timing.
41st over: South Africa 125-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 39, Kallis 29) Another boundary to the vacant third man area, with Kallis forcing Finn wide of the slip cordon. This has been a fantastic partnership at a crunch time in the entire series. Amla and Kallis have not so much coped with the pressure as ignored it. If they are still here at the close, South Africa will sleep very soundly tonight.
42nd over: South Africa 126-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 40, Kallis 29) Amla just about gets his bat down on a horrible grubber from Swann, although I think he'd have been outside the line anyway.
43rd over: South Africa 128-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 42, Kallis 29) Ten overs remaining. One last push, from Queen, country and mace, and to keep Piers Morgan's mouth shut. Finn is getting a bit of reverse inswing and has a big shout for LBW against Amla turned down by Simon Taufel. Height is the issue, as ever with Finn, and Strauss is not interested. Replays show it was bouncing over the top.
44th over: South Africa 130-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 42, Kallis 31) Swann's figures are 18-4-33-1. Pr-etty good indeed, although Enlgand could really do with one becoming two before the close and to hell with that Spice Girls song.
45th over: South Africa 131-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 43, Kallis 31) Finn's certainly reversing it now. He also gets one delivery to seam back grotesquely towards Kallis, who takes it on the arm without complaint. "That would have been three months off for you Nass..." says Beefy on Sky. Seven overs remaining; a wicket now would be pure gold for England.
46th over: South Africa 131-2 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 43, Kallis 31) Swann switches around the wicket to Amla, who will have to change his approach. He had been exposing all three stumps when moving towards the off side to repel Swann. A maiden.
WICKET! South Africa 131-3 (Kallis LBW b Finn 31) Kallis has been given out LBW by Simon Taufel – but he must think he's hit it because he reviewed the decision instantly. Hang on, the first replay suggests he he didn't hit it: the two noises were the ball hitting both pads. Height is the other big issue. It only needs to shave the bails for it to be out. Here comes Hawkeye ... he's gone! It was smacking the middle-and-leg bail. This is a huge moment in the game. Kallis is really unhappy – he thinks he's been stiffed in both innings – but that looked a perfectly fair decision. There was nothing at all on Hotspot. He pushed around his front pad at a good delivery that came in just enough to beat the inside edge as Kallis pushed around his pad. His bat made contact with his pad as well, and I think that's why he thought he hit the ball.
47th over: South Africa 131-3 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 43, Steyn 0) Dale Steyn is in as nightwatchman. There are still five overs remaining after this, but we won't get them all because play has to end at 6.30pm. Steyn survives the remainder of a fine over from Finn, a wicket maiden.
48th over: South Africa 136-3 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 48, Steyn 0) Look, I know greed is one of the seven deadly sins – and look what happened to that bloke in Se7en who got greedy – but I don't care. The wicket of Kallis was lovely and brilliant and spiffing and life-affirming, but could we have Amla before the close as well please? Nice one.
It doesn't happen in that over. Swann, still around the wicket, bowls a strange long hop that is smashed for four by Amla. At first I thought it was a Warne-style bouncer but in fact it just slipped out. It was the filthiest delivery of the series. "One twenty for four here lads," shouts one of the England fielders, which is the definition of optimism given South Africa are 136 for three.
In other news, Snickometer suggests that Kallis might have got an inside edge, but it's not conclusive – so much was happening at the same time – and there's no way the decision could have been overturned, even if Snicko was available to the third umpire.
49th over: South Africa 137-3 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 49, Steyn 0) Amla, driven back in his crease, pushes Finn off the face of the bat and just wide of Taylor, diving to his left at short leg. Steyn then takes a hit on the glove from Finn and calls for treatment. He's in a bit of pain here. The break (in play, not on Steyn's left hand) will ensure this should be the last over of the day. Steyn gets into line for the last two balls of the over. We will have time for one more.
50th over: South Africa 145-3 (England led by six runs on first innings; Amla 57, Steyn 0) Stuart Broad will bowl the last over of the day, a smart move from Andrew Strauss. Amla drives him sweetly through mid off for four to reach a tough and vital half century, and then fizzes another boundary through extra cover. That's the end of another storming day's Test cricket: 85.3 overs, 252 runs, eight wickets and the match still in the balance. South Africa lead by 139 and are slight favourites, but England are still right in this. Thanks for your emails; see you tomorrow.