England finished the opening day of the Ashes on 196 for four, with James Vince making a lovely 83 before a strong Australian fightback
- Report: Australia rally as Root falls late on even opening day
- Adam Collins: Australia’s pace attack off to slow start
Related: Australia rally as England’s Joe Root falls late on even Ashes opening day
That was a compelling arm-wrestle, with the battle rarely moving far from the middle of the table. Mark Stoneman and particularly James Vince batted beautifully before Pat Cummins and Nathan Lyon dragged Australia back into the match with some seriously good bowling. At 196 for four, the day’s play was just about even. I don’t know about you but I’m already struggling to sit still at the prospect of tonight/tomorrow/whenever the hell this match resumes. Thanks for your company, bye!
80.3 overs: England 196-4 (Malan 28, Moeen 13) That was the last ball of the day, because the umpires have decided the light is no longer playable.
Dawid Malan survives an LBW review just before the close. He was hit on the pad by an attempted yorker from Starc and, though Marais Erasmus gave it not out, Australia decided to review. It looked close but replays showed it was slipping down leg.
80th over: England 196-4 (Malan 28, Moeen 13) Tim Paine celebrates a caught behind when Moeen plays and misses at Lyon. It was another superb delivery from Lyon, who has bowled outrageously well for a finger spinner on a first-day pitch. Another maiden, the 23rd of an endearingly old-fashioned day’s play.
79th over: England 196-4 (Malan 28, Moeen 13) Malan just digs out a reverse swinging yorker from Hazlewood, who is bowling his best spell of the day right at the end. He ends the over with a speculative bouncer - and Malan slams a regal pull through square leg for four. “That’s just about the shot of the day,” says Ricky Ponting, one of the great pullers, on BT Sport. Malan has played well at a crucial phase of the match.
78th over: England 192-4 (Malan 24, Moeen 13) Moeen has a big back-foot slap at Lyon and is beaten. This is an excellent contest between Lyon and Moeen, who has been tied down since pumping that six a few overs ago.
77th over: England 192-4 (Malan 24, Moeen 13) Hazlewood replaces the weary Cummins and has a huge shout for LBW against Malan turned down by Marais Erasmus. Australia decide not to review and replays confirm it just pitched outside leg. It was closer than it looked at first, though.
“Hi Rob,” says Liam Taylor. “The fall of Joe Root has been met with astonishing indifference here in Kampala, though Uganda may be the only country in the world whose president has a former international cricketer for an adviser (John Nagenda, who played for East Africa in the 1975 World Cup). Perhaps Theresa May should seek counsel on Brexit from, say, Ronnie Irani?”
76th over: England 191-4 (Malan 24, Moeen 12) Oof. Moeen drives Lyon lazily on the bounce to short extra cover. One more wicket before the close would make this Australia’s day. If England are four down I think both teams will sleep soundly.
75th over: England 190-4 (Malan 24, Moeen 11) There are eight overs remaining today. The increasingly confident Malan hits Cummins for consecutive boundaries, a rasping cover drive followed by a swaggering clip through midwicket.
74th over: England 182-4 (Malan 16, Moeen 11) England have handled Lyon with caution all day. Moeen Ali proffers an alternative approach, slog-sweeping a majestic six over midwicket. Pick that out!
“For Nathan McDonald in Hong Kong …” begins Nicholas Jones. “If working in Central then at lunchtime get down to Dot Cod in the Landmark building. Not only is it conveniently located in a basement away from prying eyes, the food is great the bar very well stocked and it’s full of like-minded individuals, ALL having long lunches. As for cricket you can see it on several screens in the restaurant as the place is owned and run by the HK Cricket Club!!”
73rd over: England 174-4 (Malan 16, Moeen 3) Moeen gets off the mark with a stylish stroke, flicking Cummins through midwicket for three, and then Malan thumps a cracking cover-drive to the boundary. Shot!
“Morning from grey east London (not globally glamorous I’m afraid Rob) and an overwhelmingly odd sensation of a decent English first morning at the Gabba,” says Guy Hornsby. “My newborn daughter woke me up crying at 3am but I was more worried about checking the OBO to find a classic 78-5 card greeting me miserably in the murk. This is a precarious hour now, where 195-4 could easily be 186-6. James Vince though, never doubted him *cough*”
72nd over: England 167-4 (Malan 12, Moeen 0) Malan tickles a poor delivery from Lyon to fine leg for four before getting away with the usual play-and-miss for the over. This is exquisitely tense.
71st over: England 163-4 (Malan 8, Moeen 0) The new batsman is Moeen Ali, surprisingly promoted above Jonny Bairstow. The first ball, unsurprisingly, is a bouncer that Moeen wears on the body. Australia, in particular Cummins and Lyon, have been brilliant in the second half of the day.
He’s plumb! That is a huge wicket for Australia. It was a big reverse inswinger from Cummins and once Root planted his front foot he was in big trouble. He tried to drag it back across the crease but it was too late, and replays showed the ball would have hit leg stump halfway up.
This is a big moment. Root whips across the line at Cummins and is hit on the pad. I thought it looked out; Marais Erasmus disagreed.
70th over: England 163-3 (Root 15, Malan 8) Lyon drops short to Malan, who has plenty of time to cut his first boundary of the innings. Lyon finds his length after that and beats Malan with huge off-breaks from consecutive deliveries. That is serious turn for a first-day pitch anywhere in the world, never mind Australia.
“In the spirit of internationality,” says Lee Smith, “I’m checking in from Sunderland. Master Lyon may not be ending careers today but he looks well set for curtailing a few innings. Time for a Lanky style DOOMED I reckon.”
69th over: England 159-3 (Root 15, Malan 4) Root leaves a delivery from Cummins that doesn’t miss the off stump by much. “Wouldn’t have hit a second set, that,” sniffs Geoffrey Boycott on BT Sport. It’s another maiden. Root’s innings hasn’t been without alarm but for the most part he has played really well. You sense that he is itching to counter-attack.
Vince's runout was unfortunate, but still a decent start to #Ashes for @EnglandCricket. Best of luck the for rest of this Test and the series.
68th over: England 159-3 (Root 15, Malan 4) Lyon draws Malan forward and turns one past the outside edge. He has done that a few times to the left-handers today. After another maiden, Lyon has the outstanding figures of 18-7-23-0.
67th over: England 159-3 (Root 15, Malan 4) Cummins, who blew the bloody doors off when he dismissed Stoneman in the last over before tea, replaces Starc. Malan is turned round by an attempted yorker and edges it along the ground to point. I think he lost sight of that. The next ball is short, keeps a bit low and brings an optimistic appeal for LBW. It was more Box Before Wicket and would have gone over the top. But Australia are threatening a wicket in every over.
“Greetings from Hong Kong,” says Nathan McDonald. “As a recently arrived resident I’m yet to find the best watering holes to follow the Ashes so would welcome any suggestions from HK-based OBO-ers. Great to see some runs and some wickets on the first day, here’s hoping the series is poised evenly by the time I get to Sydney for Christmas!”
66th over: England 158-3 (Root 15, Malan 3) This is an outstanding spell from Lyon. Root toe-ends a reverse sweep, is almost trapped in front by a quicker one and then pushes between the legs of Bancroft at short leg. He would have needed supernatural reflexes to take the chance, but it’s another example of England’s discomfort against Lyon when he bowls around the wicket.
65th over: England 158-3 (Root 15, Malan 3) I swear the tannoy at the Gabba is playing the theme from Jaws. These are dangerous times for England, with little to gain and seven wickets to lose in the hour or so before the close. Batting feels more precarious than at any stage today, with Lyon’s turn and bounce at one end and Starc’s reverse at the other.
“G’day Rob,” says Lochlan. “In the spirit the internationality of the OBO today I’m checking in from Vientiane, Laos, on a warm, windy and dusty day. Good to see a couple of wickets drop, I was beginning to get a bit uncomfortable with Vince’s thoroughly capable efforts at the crease. Good positive start from the Brits, hopefully setting the tone for a cracker series.”
64th over: England 156-3 (Root 14, Malan 3) Lyon replaces the slightly underpar Hazlewood (16-4-46-0). He is getting good turn and bounce, bowling around the wicket to both the right and left-handers. Malan edges along the ground and wide of gully for a couple before being beaten by another excellent delivery.
63rd over: England 153-3 (Root 14, Malan 1) Starc swings one into Root, who falls over to the off side but manages to clip the ball through square-leg for four. A mishit pull later in the over teases the crowd before landing well short of long leg.
62nd over: England 148-3 (Root 9, Malan 1) Hazlewood bowls a maiden to Malan, who has started fairly confidently.
61st over: England 148-3 (Root 9, Malan 1) These are dangerous times for England, with a natural pressure compounded by the threat of reverse swing. The deadly Starc yorker is dug out by Root, who might have to curb his aggression for a few overs. If he goes in the next half an hour, England could be dragged into the malodorous stuff before the close.
“Morning Rob from a cool and blustery Baku,” says Sean Barry. “My Year 3 class are outside for morning play time, so a chance to drop you a line and add to the international flavour of the OBO. As a disinterested Kiwi, I’m hoping for a hard fought, back and forth series that ends up 3-2 one way or the other. Great start from England. Hope they can post a big score and we’ll see how the Aussies respond.”
60th over: England 147-3 (Root 9, Malan 0) Australia have managed to get the ball changed. England were starting to look comfortable, with the ball no longer reversing, but this new old ball is definitely doing a bit.
“I’d be interested to hear UK-based OBO readers’ sleeping patterns for this Test as my plans have clearly not worked,” says James Higgott. “I went to bed at 8pm expecting to wake up in time for the first ball of the series and woke at 5.30am. Not ideal, but I was just in time to see Stoneman’s 50 and Tim Paine’s laughable drop. Anyway, I hear there was rain earlier. Is there likely to be a second new ball before close today, do you know?”
Nathan Lyon has abracadabrad a wicket! Vince played tip and run into the covers, where Lyon picked up and threw down the stumps in one movement. It was a sensational piece of fielding, but Vince will feel he has given away a Test hundred. He played a delightful innings of 83 which should - should - make him feel like he belongs at this level.
59th over: England 145-2 (Vince 83, Root 7) Starc goes around the wicket to Vince, who cover-drives nicely for two. He has played such a stylish innings, but it’s the substance that has been such a pleasant surprise. Starc switches back over the wicket for Root and angles a good delivery past the outside edge.
“Nitpicking for sure, I know, but …” begins Nicholas Jones. “Does it annoy anyone else when the camera pans the crowd and we see large groups of English supporters behind a large banner proclaiming their local football club ?? Northumbria FC etc. … You’re at the cricket ! No one cares which football club you support…”
58th over: England 142-2 (Vince 80, Root 7) Hazlewood bounces Root, who is too early on his pull shot and toe-ends it into the ground. Root looks busy, as always, and scampers back for a second after flicking to fine leg. He is a totally different player to the startled kid who toured in 2013-14, when he had few scoring options and a strike rate of 33.
“Hi Rob from Bogotá, Colombia where it’s nearly 1am and the hour of work that I allegedly started at 7 is still a blank word doc thanks to this rather sterling effort from England,” says Olly West. “Not a regular contributor but what with the international feel of today’s OBO I did not think Colombia should miss out. It’s been a historic week for Colombian cricket, as Bogotá has for the first time been confirmed as host of the next South American Championships. To celebrate, Bogotá CC is off on its annual jolly to Cali CC this weekend, where we’ve been promised English ales, pies and curries to prepare us for the evening salsa dancing. The Cali wicket, which was cut for the first time yesterday, is even slower than the Gabba was this morning. By the way, the SACs, as they’re affectionately known by the locals, will be held on August 23-26 at Los Pinos Polo Club, if any OBO-ers are up for an unusual interlude in their cricket season next year.”
57th over: England 138-2 (Vince 80, Root 3) Mitchell Starc replaces Pat Cummins, who must be a bit aggrieved to be taken out of the attack after such a brilliant over before tea. Vince hits two boundaries off Starc’s first three balls, a squeezed edge through the gap followed by an wristy flick off the pads. The ball lands in a puddle behind the boundary boards at fine leg, which has jiggered Australia’s dreams of reverse swing. They are trying everything to get the ball changed.
“Dear Rob,” says Amod Paranjabe. “I will ask the question no one seems to be asking: who the hell is James Vince and where has he been?”
56th over: England 130-2 (Vince 72, Root 3) Josh Hazlewood returns to the attack for the start of this huge session. There’s a different atmosphere now, more aggressive and expectant. The ball is definitely reverse-swinging. Root drives pleasantly off the back foot for a couple, the only runs from the over. Two years ago he played one of the greatest tone-setting innings in Ashes history; his performance here, whether he succeeds or fails, could also resound through the series.
“My good friend Phil is about the wipe the sleep from his Frankfurt-based eyes and gird his loins before checking the score,” says Ian Copestake. “I am so happy you have personally brought him this solid foundation upon which he can build his day.”
Almost a dream start for England. But they have to survive young master Cummins and Starc before stumps. If it starts reversing big time, it could get very interesting. Cummins was magnificent in India. #AUSvENG#Ashes
55th over: England 128-2 (Vince 72, Root 1) Graeme Swann reckons it was reverse swing that did for Stoneman. My instinct was that it was seam movement but on reflection I think Swann might be right. The first two deliveries to Root - one swinging out, the next swinging in - confirm he was right. Replays show the ball to Stoneman really was a jaffa, which curved in and may have beaten him for pace as well.
Root gets off the mark from the last ball before tea - but that was a brilliant over from Cummins, with both a wicket and a hint of the game-changing phenomenon that is reverse swing. See you in 15 minutes. After a quiet start to the game, this should be a pulsating evening session.
What a beauty from Pat Cummins! Stoneman has gone, bowled by an excellent delivery from around the wicket that snapped back through the gate to hit the top of middle stump. That’s a big wicket on the stroke of tea, and ends an admirable innings of 53 from Stoneman.
54th over: England 127-1 (Stoneman 53, Vince 72) Stoneman drives a single, which gives Lyon two deliveries at Vince. He survives them comfortably.
“Good morning Rob, and goodnight,” says Tim Smith. “Pleasantly surprised at the score and the runs to the names. Just seared my turkey and put it on a slow-cook and going to bed in Boston. Hope that both are OK when I wake in the morning. Happy Thanksgiving to all.”
53rd over: England 126-1 (Stoneman 52, Vince 72) Vince drives Cummins classily down the ground for four to move into the seventies. At the moment the big threat - at the Gabba, on day one - is from Lyon at the other end.
52nd over: England 121-1 (Stoneman 51, Vince 68) Vince is dropped by Tim Paine! Oh my. Lyon switched to around the wicket and found the outside edge with a good delivery that straightened a touch as Vince pushed forward defensively. It was a thickish edge and Paine, who has been picked for his keeping, put it down. It wasn’t quite as easy as it looked, but he should still have taken it.
“I’m reading from my office in Hong Kong,” says Tom Odlin. “I fly out to Brisbane tonight and will be at the Gabba for Day 3. It looked dicey at first, but I reckon I will actually see some cricket now. And just in case my boss is reading (unlikely, he’s American), that’s Ribena in the wine glass on my desk.”
51st over: England 119-1 (Stoneman 50, Vince 66) Stoneman snicks Cummins just short of second slip. The ball scuttles away for two, which takes Stoneman to a Boycottian fifty from 150 balls. It’s been such a smart, restrained innings, just what England need to take the heat out of the first day.
“Good morning, Rob!” says Sara Torvalds. “Or God morgon, Rob in Swedish and Hyvää huomenta, Rob in Finnish - and that tells you which of Finland’s official languages you might learn rather more quickly if you already know English! I’m reading the OBO in Karis, Finland and cannot tell you how overjoyed I am to have woken up to a century stand and the loss of no more wickets, having fallen asleep within five minutes of Cook’s dismissal.”
50th over: England 116-1 (Stoneman 48, Vince 66) Lyon beats Stoneman with a gorgeous delivery that drifts in and then roars past the outside edge. Australia are starting to apply a little bit of pressure, though Stoneman continues to play with impressive patience. The result is another maiden.
“Afternoon Rob,” says Phil Withall. “I know it’s not as glamorous as Vietnam, as exotic as a language class in China or as sophisticated as an empty room in Garden Towers but I’m following from Logan City in Queensland. Think of it as Brisbane’s less polished neighbour. Not very exciting but at least I’ll get to the Gabba on Saturday.”
49th over: England 116-1 (Stoneman 48, Vince 66) The leave was always going to be an important shot on day one for England and these two have played it excellently, Stoneman in particular. The moment I type that Vince is beaten, driving a little lazily at a wide tempter from Cummins. A maiden from Cummins, who has arguably been the pick of the Aussie quicks today.
“Morning/afternoon Rob,” says Gervase Greene. “Ben Carter (over 41) marvelled at his Chinese students’ bafflement following his explanation of the googly. I recall in 1989 finding it just as incomprehensible how stunned Graham Gooch was that a straight ball bowled in front of the stumps by Terry Alderman, pitching on middle stump, hitting the pad in front of middle stump, could be adjudged to have been likely to hit the middle of said stump. But Gooch was so astounded - time after time after time. Great days.”
47th over: England 116-1 (Stoneman 48, Vince 66) With every wicketless over, England move closer to what’s-the-catch territory. This is a great stat from Alison Mitchell on BT Sport: this 114-run partnership between Stoneman and Vince has just passed England’s highest stand of the whole 2013-14 series.
47th over: England 114-1 (Stoneman 46, Vince 66) A double bowling change, with Pat Cummins on for Mitchell Starc. Vince survives a big, slightly desperate LBW appeal, presumably because of an inside edge. Australia didn’t consider a review.
“Greetings from a Hong Kong lunch break,” says Stephen Crisp. “My first live Ashes game was at Lord’s in 1993, where Australia scored 1,283,426 on the first day off the bowling of Tufnell and Lewis. The top three all scored hundreds with the fourth, Mark Waugh, learning a real lesson and being dismissed for 99. So yes, it could all go wrong.”
46th over: England 111-1 (Stoneman 45, Vince 64) Nathan Lyon returns to the attack, replacing the slightly under-par Hazlewood. Vince inside-edges just wide of Marsh at short leg and then skips back to play a lovely back-foot drive for four.
“Morning Rob, morning everybody,” says Dave Voss. “Just woken up after a fairly feverish night’s sleep where I’d dreamt firstly Aussie had won the toss and were 120 odd for 7, then England in the same position, then a slightly odd one about a Lancaster bomber. Surely this isn’t the actual score and this is another dream?! I’m absolutely thrilled for the series. I haven’t been this excited since rob key was 47* and about to take Damien Martyn downtown.”
45th over: England 107-1 (Stoneman 45, Vince 60) As an England supporter, it is my great pleasure to tell you this is a thoroughly boring passage of play.
“Xin chao Rob,” says Phil Keegan. “I am following you in Hanoi, Vietnam. It is windy today.”
44th over: England 105-1 (Stoneman 44, Vince 59) Vince flicks Hazlewood for a couple, the only runs from a quiet over. The BT Sport commentators, Alison Mitchell and Adam Gilchrist, think the pitch has quickened up slightly since the resumption. That’s a mixed blessing for both sides.
43rd over: England 103-1 (Stoneman 44, Vince 57) Stoneman waves Starc for a couple to bring up an admirable hundred partnership with Vince. It’s too early to sound the Michael Slater Ashes Tone-Setter klaxon, but we might - might - reflect on its significance in a few weeks’ time.
Here’s Jeremy Bunting: “Following on from your colleagues’ discussion about who is reading OBO from where, I can report that I lost a loving relationship in the Caribbean. ‘You’re not watching the cricket, you’re not to listening to the commentary. You’re reading it.’”
42nd over: England 101-1 (Stoneman 42, Vince 57) A full delivery from Hazlewood is clipped classily past mid-on for four by Stoneman, which brings up England’s hundred. Hazlewood switches around the wicket and beats the outside edge with a beauty that growls off the seam. It’s good cricket, this - an unyielding arm-wrestle which, hopefully for England, won’t end like the one in Twin Peaks.
41st over: England 96-1 (Stoneman 37, Vince 57) England fans have experienced enough abject misery in Ashes cricket to know that one wicket can change everything - particularly with Starc in the attack. Vince ignores a few wide tempters from Starc before being beaten by an attemped yorker that slips past the outside edge on the full. Starc opens his face in Vince’s direction, with a few unpleasantries falling out.
“Dear Rob,” says Ben Carter. “Am following progress in between lessons to Chinese students in Yangzhou, 300 kms from Shanghai. I have demonstrated the art of the forward defensive stroke and the mysteries of the googly to my students but have been met with incomprehension. One has to go slowly I suppose: this after all is a nation with no knowledge whatsoever of Bisto’s Gravy Granules, Lincolnshire sausages or of Sir Geoffrey Boycott.”
40th over: England 95-1 (Stoneman 36, Vince 57) Australia’s fast bowlers look frustrated, as well they might be, with the lack of pace in the pitch. Hazlewood rams a good bouncer past the head of Stoneman, who hasn’t taken on the short ball all day.
“We can now settle into the series having at last heard from Ian Copestake (over 32),” says Brian Withington. “It was indeed a long lunch break but where was he for the morning session? Think I am going to need to rely increasingly on OBO for verbal entertainment as the BT commentary team is already beginning to grate somewhat ...”
39th over: England 92-1 (Stoneman 33, Vince 57) There is a change, but it’s Starc rather than Lyon to replace Cummins. Stoneman gets up on his toes to push the first ball through the covers for three, and then Vince gets down on one knee to crash a wide half-volley for four. The pitch has helped, for sure, but he has played beautifully.
“Stoneman is in the Mark Ramprakash zone, a zone I hope no aspiring batsman thinks about, but one that for me is impossible to dismiss,” says Ian Copestake. “You can almost hear the demons in his (my) head telling him not to get out in the low 30s unless he is happy being the next England batting coach/learning dancing.”
38th over: England 85-1 (Stoneman 30, Vince 53) Josh Hazlewood replaces Lyon, who may be about to switch ends, and Vince slashes a drive through backward point for four to reach his first Test fifty. It’s been a stylish, serene innings: 106 balls, seven fours, one or two I-told-yous.
37th over: England 81-1 (Stoneman 30, Vince 49) A short ball from Cummins sits up nicely for Vince, who slams a confident back cut for four. Whoever pushed for Vince’s selection, and I suspect it was Trevor Bayliss, will be feeling pretty smug right now. An advert for Berocca, which has been on BT Sport a few times today, has the slogan, ‘You, but on a really good day’. Vince must have had a whole tube of Berocca this morning. He has 49 from 102 balls; Stoneman, who has played with admirable restraint, has 30 from 110.
36th over: England 76-1 (Stoneman 30, Vince 44) The good news for Australia is that Nathan Lyon is bowling beautifully. The bad news for Australia is that Nathan Lyon is bowling beautifully. They probably didn’t expect him to bowl ten of the first 36 overs, but the pitch has been much slower than expected.
“Enjoying the early and hopeful banter from Monterrey, Mexico,” says Ian Clark. “You’ll be on my screen through the afternoons at the international school where I work down here. Hi to my old muckers at Hoboken Cricket Club, NJ - Hoboken being the location of the US’s first Test match, if you’re interested in such trivia.”
35th over: England 75-1 (Stoneman 30, Vince 43) Vince punches Cummins through extra-cover for three, which makes this his highest Test score. It was in the air, and pretty close to the man at short extra, but he got away with it.
34th over: England 71-1 (Stoneman 29, Vince 40) Vince has had enough of defending against Lyon. He saunters down the pitch and nails a lovely drive between extra cover and mid-off for four. It’s early in the innings and the series, we all know that, but by heaven Vince has batted well.
33rd over: England 67-1 (Stoneman 29, Vince 36) Cummins is bowling a lovely line from around the wicket to Stoneman, who edges an attempted drive well short of point. It’s another maiden. That shouldn’t bother England, whose task for today is to bat time and to hell with the run-rate, but modern batsmen do like the food of runs.
“I’m the only Englishman at work in the office in Melbourne,” says Andrew McKinlay. “’Pommie (insert swear word)’ and repeat. All day.”
32nd over: England 67-1 (Stoneman 29, Vince 36) In the first part of his Test career, Vince was dismissed four times between 35 and 42. He is playing watchfully against Lyon, who hurries through another maiden. This is excellent from Lyon, who has maintained a wicket-taking threat while being extremely economical; his figures are 8-3-9-0.
31st over: England 67-1 (Stoneman 29, Vince 36) Things happen when Pat Cummins bowls, and that over was no exception. Vince Vaughaned the first ball sweetly through the covers for three; Stoneman was beaten next up by a good delivery that nipped away; then, when Cummins overpitched, Stoneman drove crisply down the ground for four.
“The OBO has always harboured more than its fair share of alternative music enthusiasts,” says Ian Forth. “So, as a special treat for them, I’ve devoted this week’s episode of my alt-music podcast to the theme of The Ashes. Amongst many more there are tributes to English listeners under the duvet/doona (‘Midnight in a perfect world’), two for KP (‘At home he’s a tourist’ and ‘Why won’t they talk to me’) and another to Moeen Ali as he runs out of partners (‘I’m stranded’). I was only sorry there was no room for that classic paean to Warney standing at second slip (‘Between the Waughs’). Please enjoy.”
30th over: England 60-1 (Stoneman 25, Vince 33) Nathan Lyon will bowl the first over after the break. He has a short leg and slip for the hitherto impressive Vince, who cuts a single off the final delivery. Lyon is getting a lot of turn for the first day of a Test, and it might not be long before he has a leg slip in for the right-handed Vince.
“Hi Rob,” says Stephen Davenport. “I think I can at least match David Petterson’s claims of internationalism and multi-tasking. I’m an Englishman following the Ashes in Indianapolis, watching Willow, listening to TMS, following the OBO and forecasting weather in Canada. And Indiana is far less of an immigrant casserole than NY, I think we can all agree. Also the only cricket most people here recognize is the one you feed your pet turtle as a Thanksgiving treat. We have such a turtle. He is named ‘Captain Turtle’. We did not get that familiar with the cricket.”
The players are patrolling the green, and the match is about to resume. It’s a gorgeous afternoon, so rain shouldn’t be a problem for the rest of the day.
Good-cause department
This is pretty adorable: a young boy from Newmarket is wearing shorts to school throughout the English winter to raise money for the Refugee Community Kitchen in Calais. If you want to make a donation, you know what to do.
Play will resume at 2.15pm local time (4.15am in England), with tea at 4pm/6am. There are 51 overs remaining, it says here, and play can go on until 6.30pm/8.30am.
Thanks Geoff, hello there. If you are just waking up in England ... it’s okay. Really, it’s okay. Mark Stoneman and James Vince batted admirably after the early loss of Alastair Cook, with England going to lunch on 59 for one. There’s been no cricket since because of rain, but the weather has improved and play should resume in the next 10 or 15 minutes.
They’re toying with taking the covers off. One groundsman is tugging one corner, like Cameron Bancroft wanting to open his Christmas presents early. Hopefully we’ll be back on soon.
That’s as good a time as any to hand over. It’s been a pleasure. Time for Rob Smyth to handle the second half of the day - please direct or forward your messages to him from here on.
Mind you, I don’t think Cook has the swag to be Mercutio. For me the defining version is Harold Perrineau in Lurhmann’s film. Sorry, traditionalists, 90s glam-punk cinema did it best.
And another wondrous submission on email from Brian Withington.
“A bit of light mood music inspired by your very pertinent literary allusions, courtesy of that fine baton wielder Serge Prokofiev. Not sure which camps you have pegged as the Montagues and the Capulets but I guess Cook is the early candidate for Mercutio to Starc’s Tybalt? Wherefore art thou, Stokesio?”
Like a genie, I say Robert Wilson’s name and he appears. “Advice needed.I know that it’s the effing Ashes and everything but what is the cutoff age for a pre-match, pre-series over-excitement and faintly trouser-wetting anticipation more suited to the Under-12s 3rd XI? When does it become embarrassing? Whatever people say afterwards, no one could call this series. Which already makes it brilliant.”
On the day so far...
“Tennis ball bounce, bit of turn on day one and it’s raining, not the usual start to an antipodean ashes,” says Matthew Carley.
Robin Hughes has the content I’m here for. “I’m wondering what brand of whisky Vince Stoneman will drink when he’s sat at his desk late in the night, and mournfully looks at a picture of the wife and children he has lost because he cannot give them what they need. I’m on Laphroaig at the moment but I don’t think that’s his vibe...”
Yeah, needs to be... nastier. Whatever hooch they sell at the local corner store, where Vince has run up a tab as long as his arm. “Ya got no credit here, Stoneman! Come back when ya got some moolah!”
Updates on American TV. And American life. We’re getting a very North American feel to our blog today. Hello to everyone north of the prospective Great Border Freedom Wall of Patriotic Prosperity.
“Following along here in Chicago, USA & couldn’t be happier that the Ashes falls on our 4-day holiday weekend of Thanksgiving. I am watching via Willow. I subscribe to it for a couple months at a time as it will get me the Ashes, the one days, the T20 & then Big Bash league. Then I cancel it. You have to email a couple times to confirm, but they will cancel. Tell James I’ll take my Coors Lite; he can just address it to “Only American who follows cricket” & the post office will have it to me by Monday.”
Ed the Terrified, our Monarch of the Couch, is feeling better now that the 30s have passed by. “Any chance of a birthday mention for my son Jacob? He was born 11 years ago, pretty much to the minute. We managed to listen to the start of Test that day but had to turn it off pretty sharpish so pretty much all I heard was Harmison’s first ball to 2nd slip. At least things have started a little better this time...”
Jacob, from all of us at the Guardian, we wish you very many happy years of nervously following English cricket at obscene hours of the night by obscure methods. If you like cricket, that is. If you prefer playing the banjo or nature photography or designing spacecraft or trying to snort the orange dust from the bottom of a big jar of cheese snacks that have never known cheese, we wish you happiness in that pursuit instead. Life is a strange town, and you can be the Mayor.
We have people reading along from all over the world, which is very nice to know.
I was excited to get an email from Roger Moore, then I realised the one I was thinking of couldn’t contact me unless there’s been a profound metaphysical shift. Our Roger is listening in from Island View, New Brunswick, in Canada.
Scott Woods from Ohio, USA, is “Especially looking forward to the perfect cheese sandwich ideas to pair up with tomorrow’s leftover chili.” Get them coming in, people.
Rain continues to fall. The below link doesn’t work, but I’ve found the original for you.
Professor Elemental's chief rival Mr B, gentleman rhymer would be devastated to learn that there's no cricketers straight outta Surrey in the English lineup: https://t.co/ba6F9V6JCj
It was a few hours ago, but you’ve got it. Time to go down the YouTube spiral.
Another wicket & we might need a spot of rain #BillLawry#12thMan@GeoffLemonSporthttps://t.co/fpPk7Q4LEM#Ashes
@GeoffLemonSport Extras is having a poor game. Yet to get off the mark
This is true. When’s the last time we had a session with no extras? I ask this in the knowledge that someone in the OBO community will know or will find out.
Quite a few people writing in about the BT Sports coverage as opposed to the usual Sky. I don’t have it down in the southern hemisphere, we’re on Nine or bust as far as TV goes, with ABC and BBC doing separate radio calls. So I have no idea how it’s going, or even what the full roster is. Interested to hear how it pans out. Alison Mitchell a polished operator. I’ve had some less than complimentary messages about Graeme Swann’s contribution, which I won’t reproduce for the sake of a genteel tone.
“It’s pretty similar to the Channel Five coverage it seems,” writes David Griffin. “I’m sure the last time I saw the lead presenter he was doing lower league football. He must be buzzing to get this gig!”
We were due to be back on the field five minutes ago, but one small cover has been placed on the pitch, and more are coming out on the truck. No rush, as the rain is very, very light at the moment. But on the technicalities of the game, we must proceed.
My idea of bliss. Watching the #Ashes. But I’ll have to settle for @GeoffLemonSport’s @guardian OBO. pic.twitter.com/lDRC35oeFZ
Interpretations ranging from the glum...
@GeoffLemonSport ho hum! two runs an over in the opening session. match drawn...
This all feels very subdued for the first hour of an #Ashes series; just what England would have wanted. @GeoffLemonSport
This, from Daniel McDonald... perhaps my fondest OBO reader moment. Right up there with the glowing prose of Robert McLiam Wilson.
To three, or not to three, that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The bouncers and yorkers of outrageous umpiring decisions
Or to shoulder arms against a sea of dot balls,
And by not scoring end anyway: to get out bowled, to get out caught
To get out; and by losing our wicket, to say we end
The heart-ache, And the thousand play and misses
That Flesh is heir to? ‘Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished (for Marsh by Maxwell). To be bowled, caught,
Out, perchance to dream (of careers beyond T20); aye, there’s the rub,
For in those gambling ads of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled to the other end for a single,
Must give us pause.
Local conditions: it’s still overcast and a bit sweaty, though not as thickly clouded as it often can be here in tropical Brisbane. It’s a seasonally gentle 26 degrees, so it’s a good day to be bowling. The forecast for the next few days doesn’t go higher than 28, and includes some showers, but shouldn’t be enough to affect the result of this match, fingers crossed. The fluoro kiddies are out running about on the ground. It’s lunch time here, so if I go dark for 10 minutes, blame it on the buffet. But keep those tweets and emails coming, I promise I’ll get to as many as possible.
29th over: England 59-1 (Stoneman 25, Vince 32)Starc with the final over before lunch. Shane Warne urging him onward on the TV, wanting to make something spicy happen. There is no searing yorker. Continued short ball attack, but Stoneman stays behind most balls and knocks them back. Lunch is reached safely. Well played!
Lots of questions over these two before this series, but Stoneman has done really well this morning. Vince was breezier early, going through the covers, and started to look dicier later in the day against spin. That all-important first session has been negotiated. Obviously it could all still fall apart if wickets go down after the break, but batting conditions should ease as the day goes on, at least until the last hour or so.
28th over: England 59-1 (Stoneman 25, Vince 32)Oh, this is getting good! Lyon is all over Vince here, and Vince is managing to survive. First an edge for no score. Then a boundary, right off the edge, through the cordon along the ground. Then another ball popping up toward leg slip that lands safely. Nervous moments abound.
“In the studio here with the wind blowing hard over Porthmeor... was going to start something new, then realised the way to go was a whisky and a sit down… TMS on the radio, following your updates… in a country and world gone mad, suddenly it all feels a little better... thank you.”
27th over: England 55-1 (Stoneman 25, Vince 28)Short ball time. Starc to Stoneman, and he doesn’t truly bounce him, but goes short at the body five times out of six. The maidens are piling up like a Dionysian frieze.
“Do you have oppressive gambling ads on Aussie TV?” asks John Goldstein. “It’s so wearing it’s making trying to watch sport nearly impossible.” Australian TV is entirely built on oppressive gambling ads these days. Not only that, but I’m getting oppressive gambling ads sent to my inbox this morning, asking me to pump up their products in the OBO. As Tom Lutz might say, get effed.
26th over: England 55-1 (Stoneman 25, Vince 28)That defence-attack transition, or lack thereof, again. Lyon bowls a half-tracker, and Vince politely pats it back to the bowler. Victorian-era stuff. It’s another maiden. Getting close to lunch, so perhaps you can’t blame him. Or you can, if you want. It makes me feel better about my life’s many failings.
Seems I’m accidentally promoting American cable services now. “Eff!” is the polite cuss from the Guardian’s man in New York, Tom Lutz. “I just subscribed to Willow TV. I am not made out of money.”
25th over: England 55-1 (Stoneman 25, Vince 28)A single apiece from the over, as Starc continues. This defensive batting means that when it’s time to attack, the batsmen can’t managed it. Stoneman’s run comes off a badly timed drive, then he smacks a cut shot straight at point for none.
If you want to contribute to our detective show, Vince Stoneman, this is the vibe.
24th over: England 53-1 (Stoneman 24, Vince 27)Lyon will like the look of Vince against him. A couple of defensive shots to the roadblock position, another one edged. Not scoring. Could be a matter of time.
“Pedant corner,” ahems Jeremy Cox. “Private detectives aren’t covered by the Police and Criminal Evidence Act.” Of course not, Jeremy! That’s why he was drummed off the force. Because he got results, and that damned Chief couldn’t handle being shown up!
23rd over: England 52-1 (Stoneman 23, Vince 27)Starc continues. A block, a leave, and these two batsmen continue to grind. Until they get the ball they want, as Stoneman does when it’s too straight, and he can whip three runs through midwicket. England’s 50 comes up. Vince on strike, and he’s hit! That hurts, in the solar plexus. His planets did not align. He gets his breath back and faces up again.
If anyone can solve James Denvir’s problem, I’m sure he’ll buy you a Coors Light and some Stars and Stripes swimwear. “Here in the US, ESPN aren’t carrying the Ashes series. The only option seems to be an online subscription to Willow TV, and there seems to be quite a bit of internet chatter that it’s very difficult to cancel the subscription once you start it. Is anyone in the US watching via Willow? Or should I just rely on your descriptive prose...?”
22nd over: England 49-1 (Stoneman 20, Vince 27)Big appeal! Nowhere near it, was James Vince. The Lyon ball spun sharply into him though, beat the inside edge onto his pad flap, then was taken by short leg. Handscomb in under the chapeau, I fancy. Smith at slip and David Warner on the 45.
Obligatory 45 post.
21st over: England 49-1 (Stoneman 20, Vince 27)Starc back in the attack. Half an hour until lunch. Stoneman drives straight back to the bowler, could have done more with that. Starc keeps pitching it up, but no scoring shots. This England pair fighting it out. “Vince Stoneman. Hard-bitten, takes-no-prisoners, hyphen-rich Private Detective. Breeches the Police and Criminal Evidence Act but gets results. Should use more own-brand deodorant.” I’ve already purchased screen rights based on Paul Griffin’s elevator pitch.
20th over: England 49-1 (Stoneman 20, Vince 27)Lyon carries on. Vince defending carefully for the first four balls, as Paine expresses his pleasure at each delivery from behind the stumps. Manages to flick a run from the fifth ball, while the sixth is too straight and lets Stoneman jab it through midwicket for one. He’s up to 20, and has battled hard.
Given this is a reputable newspaper, I’m going to assume the below message is genuine and not make any effort to check that whatsoever.
Morning @GeoffLemonSport . Thought you might appreciate this. As if England weren’t already in enough trouble... What odds Gazza to open the bowling? #Ashespic.twitter.com/z7hk3ipe3f
19th over: England 47-1 (Stoneman 19, Vince 26)Stoneman gets hit! By Hazlewood, which is a bit less painful than either of the other two, but he misses the pull shot and wears it in the ribs. Ouch. Recovers to squeeze a couple of runs through square leg.
18th over: England 45-1 (Stoneman 17, Vince 26)Here’s a change. Nathan Lyon on with his off-breaks. His job will be to hold up an end for a long time, you’d think, though he can also get good bounce at the Gabba. Ian Chappell again, saying that there’s more likely to be turn before lunch than after, due to moisture in the pitch now that will evaporate. There is some turn, in a good opening over that draws a couple of false shots into the off side. Just a single, from the final ball. Promising start for Australia’s second most prolific spinner.
17th over: England 44-1 (Stoneman 16, Vince 26)Chappelli is a fan of Stoneman. “I saw him play against West Indies. They’ve tried a lot of players to partner Alastair Cook, and I thought he looked by far the best,” says Australia’s former captain (one of them) on Nine. Hazlewood will have some graft to do today. The work kind, not the bribes kind. Although that could make bowling easier. Vince bats out a maiden.
Interesting thought from Phil Withall. “A lot has been made of the fortress like mystique of the Gabba and the unbeaten run the Australian team has enjoyed there. Would it be a little simplistic to suggest that a lot could be put down to the fact it hosts the first test of the series? I’m sure the fact that visiting teams are possibly a little bit under done may be contributing a fair bit to this record.”
16th over: England 44-1 (Stoneman 16, Vince 26)How many threes is that for Vince? I should know, but I’ve lost count. He gets another triple through covers from Cummins, after each batsman had taken a single. Big appeal for a catch down leg as Cummins finds some lift, but the umpire is unmoved. Dar and Erasmus the two men with the broad white hats today.
15th over: England 39-1 (Stoneman 15, Vince 22)Hazlewood angling across Stoneman. Plays with a slightly dodgy open face. Thought he was a nick candidate for a moment there. But got enough on it to play the ball down. Hazlewood goes shorter and again gets some serious angle back up from the pitch. He’s using it more effectively than the quicker men. Not that Josh H is slow.
I hope Matt is still with us. This is the Agincourt spirit, the Waterloo pluck, the staunchness of England Women in the Third T20I in Canberra last Tuesday. “Right. I’m three days in to a new job, in a new industry. I have an incredible amount to learn and read, and I’ve been exhausted all week from the effort. How much of the first session do I dare stay up and watch? I mean, I feel kind of ok now, so if I give it a few hours of cricket, then any extra tiredness is Tomorrow-Matt’s problem. And that guy is a jerk. It’s The Ashes! I’ve got to watch it!”
14th over: England 39-1 (Stoneman 15, Vince 22)Last over before drinks. Vince pushes a single, Stoneman fends another away behind square. Cummins the bowler still finding some lift from the odd ball, and he finishesoff with a beauty, beating the outside edge and so nearly having Vince nick to the keeper. Drinks, and one more run till we’re out of Ed’s nervous 30s.
13th over: England 37-1 (Stoneman 14, Vince 21) Hazlewood is still getting some lift from a length, so not all is lost for him. High angle helps him get bounce, of course. But when Vince gets a fuller length, he goes for three again. “We’ll get them in threes,” Wilfred Rhodes definitely didn’t say.
I hope Ed is feeling better. “I’ve got a head full of cold, half a bottle of wine and I’ve found my ‘Is it cowardly to pray for rain’ t-shirt at the back of the drawer so I think I’m all set. Now just hoping we’re not 30-3 before I give in and pass out on the sofa.” Just three more runs and England can’tbe 30-odd for 3.
12th over: England 34-1 (Stoneman 14, Vince 18) Cummins angles a couple across the left-handed Stoneman, tries a couple at the stumps. Nothing gets through. This is bringing to mind the Gabba Test of two summers ago against New Zealand, where Southee and Boult hooped the ball menacingly for about 20 minutes, before all life went out of the track and Australia piled on an absolute mountain. Twin tons for Warner, a massive one for Khawaja, and one in the second dig for Joe Burns in the declaration push. Bowled NZ out on Day 5. Cross your fingers if you’re English.
11th over: England 34-1 (Stoneman 14, Vince 18) It’s raining threes. Hallelujah. Stoneman drives another one into the gap, and this trio involves three rather than four. Vince’s trio is worth four, though, as he drives through the covers to the rope! Good shot, he’s finding his rhythms. Gets another gift on the pads and flicks it away through midwicket for four more. Back to back against Hazlewood, who has changed to the Vulture Street end only to concede 11 runs, and this will be cheering up England.
10th over: England 23-1 (Stoneman 11, Vince 10) This was the local paper this morning.
Good morning from Brisbane!
The local paper is ramping it up.
It's going to be Bodyline! #bbccricket#ashespic.twitter.com/4hcZdNgjtM
9th over: England 17-1 (Stoneman 8, Vince 7) Another maiden, this time for Starc to Stoneman. England’s opener is doing this alright. Plays a nice drive back to the bowler, does some evasion against a shorter one. He’s had a good build-up through the practice games, and now he’s acquitting himself well in the real thing.
8th over: England 17-1 (Stoneman 8, Vince 7) This Test is full of events. Another one: Pat Cummins’ first ball in Test cricket. Also his first ball in a Test in Australia. How many years has he been waiting for that? (It’s a rhetorical question, but it does have an answer if you want to work it out.) Contrary to expectations, he doesn’t come in and try to knock Vince’s head off. He bowls one short one cut to point, and otherwise hits a decent length. It’s a maiden.
7th over: England 17-1 (Stoneman 8, Vince 7) Starc bowling heat, and a couple more with curl. He looks dangerous early. Vince plays watchfully, until he gets one too straight and can glance a single. That’s the way to do it.
“Mate,” says Charlie. It feels like he wants something. “You’re all I’ve got at work today.” He does. “No tv, no radio, just you. I’m gonna need some second by second updates if you can please mate. Get those fingers bashing away and let’s see some RSI before your shift is through! Please! Cheers lad.”
6th over: England 16-1 (Stoneman 8, Vince 6) Stoneman is away now. Not in convincing style, but you’ll take any runs in these circumstances. First he shovels a cover drive, not timed but it still earns him two runs as it bobbles into the gap. Then he drives Hazlewood and gets a thick edge all along the ground for four. It split third slip and gully.
5th over: England 10-1 (Stoneman 2, Vince 6) Cover drive for four! That’s what he does.Vince sees width, and while the Starc delivery was tailing away from him outside off, he got enough of the face of the blade on it. Don’t need much with a big gap at cover and a fast Gabba outfield. A risky shot, but it came off nicely that time. Starc’s next delivery is full, snaking a bit in the air as well, and Vince has to jam down late and send the toe-ended squeeze through into the slip cordon. Short ball! Vince jerks away from it inelegantly, dropping down the lift shaft like a cartoon character. Starc gives him some lip but no one is buying it. “Come off it, Starcy,” says a broad Aussie accent a few metres away from my spot. “Give it a rest, champ.”
The first champing of the 2017-18 Ashes, ladies and gents.
4th over: England 6-1 (Stoneman 2, Vince 2) I’ll tell you what, Hazlewood looks good. Rhythm, upright release, and getting the new Kookaburra to zip off the pitch. Stoneman gets his first Ashes runs with a couple nudged away on the glance.
“Evening Geoff,” writes Dave Adams. “Have watched virtually every ball of the last three series down under, while sharing idle rants on the OBO. Then I discovered that this year’s was on BT Sport about two days after I renewed my Sky contract, so I’m seeing nothing. What with Trump and Brexit, the failure of Murdoch to monopolise our national treasures for his own personal enrichment feels like another harbinger of doom.”
3rd over: England 4-1 (Stoneman 0, Vince 2) Welcome, Jimmy Vince. He does get a present with his first Ashes delivery, a ball on his pads that he can tuck away for two runs. Takes the pressure of the duck off him, but he still has the pressure of being out in the middle far earlier than he might have liked. Or perhaps he’s relieved to get going.
There it is! What England readers are dreading, I’m afraid. The early breakthrough as Starc shapes a quick delivery away from the left-hander, Cook doesn’t do too much wrong, had to play, maybe could have got further forward but that was a perfect length. Paine left that ball for first slip, and the new tenant in that position takes a tumble to his right to snare the take.
2nd over: England 2-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 0) Hazlewood now with the ball from the Stanley Street end. Pretty good crowd in already, a few seats still visible but four fifths of them must be occupied, and some other people wil be on refreshment runs. Stoneman looks solid in his first few deliveries. Hazlewood getting nice bounce out of this track, hitting the splice. It’s a maiden. I have a trove of reader emails that I’m working through, so bear with me if you feel unloved or neglected. It isn’t true.
1st over: England 2-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 0) Starc with the ball and... it’s wide and left alone! Anticlimax. The next two similar. Paine gloving them nicely. Good carry out of that wicket after the first ball. Three slips and a gully, point, mid-off, mid-on, square leg, long leg. Cook upright and watchful. The first runs! Cook dribbles one off a thick outside edge away behind point, along the ground and into the gap. A shuffle in the Aussie cordon, Handscomb at first, Smith second, Bancroft third, Usman in the gully.
The first session, and fittingly for a website quoting a certain sonnet, it
Is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
My eternal shame. I’ll never be allowed to sing You’re the Voice with my countrymen again.
@GeoffLemonSport Get it right Geoff (22:45), it’s double U, double O, double L, double O, N, G, A, double B, A. And it’s unseasonably mild - tough toss to call.
Some other anthems are playing now, but let’s keep doing our own. “A very good evening to you,” says Mark Reynolds, “looking forward too / utterly dreading the night ahead.”
As an OBO veteran would it be possible to request a nod to years gone by, by linking the estimable Professor Elemental’s Ashes anthem ‘Fighting Trousers’ to raise the spirits of the faithful? Have a great evening, will be reading with The Fear in full effect.”
Oh, thank God! They’ve brought the flags out to the middle, a nice man in a suit comes to sing a song, and... it’s You’re The Voice by Johnny Farnham. Finally, we’ve seen sense and made this epic the official Australian anthem.
Confirmation that Australia’s XI will proceed as expected.
England
Cook
Stoneman
Vince
Root *
Malan
Moeen
Bairstow +
Woakes
Ball
Broad
Anderson
... wait for it...
... got you that time. They’ll bat.
What’s the longest ‘hmmmmmmmm’ I can type before filling up your screen?
May not be locked and loaded yet - Warner just left ground with physio.
“Evening Geoff,” slurs Phil Sawyer. You can slur on email, can’t you? “Exciting, isn’t it? Perhaps too exciting. May have been a bit premature with the Sporting Spectacle Anticipation Enhancement juice tonight. Was intending to at least last until the end of the first session. But, rather like England,I I fear those plans may lie in disarray after the first hour.”
I left the typos in for effect. Good luck, Phil. You’ve certainly got more respect from me than Stuie, who’s already planning to watch the Ashes in his dreams. Stu. Where’s your tendency for bad decisions?
@GeoffLemonSport evening geoff from UK, hope ENG win toss, bat well & i wake up tomorrow delighted
Here’s a cute note. All the Aussies are out doing fielding drills, and only one of them is catching and throwing in his baggy green cap. Cameron Bancroft is like a kid on Christmas morning and doesn’t want to take it off.
“Evening Geoff, and thank you in advance for being my special nighttime friend throughout the next few weeks,” says a saucy Patrick. Which incidentally is also the name of a local seafood dish in Massachusetts. “In 2010 I was on my gap yah, living and working in Sydney. We’d sneak out on our lunch break to the egregious Scruffy Murphy’s pub – open 23 hours a day – and watch Cook and Trott piling on the runs whilst drinking $7 jugs of XXXX. Ah, fond memories! But the thing that struck me in that series was their laser-like focus. They got drubbed in Perth, but turned it round spectacularly in Melbourne. Who was responsible for that mental steel, and has the current group got it?”
First up, Patrick, I’m sorry about the XXXX. The Milton Mango is not, in this individual’s opinion, Australia’s finest product. Secondly, that team in 2010-11 had a collective of stubborn buggers. A lot of them were the same players that toured in 2013-14, but by then something had changed.
“Predictions please sir?” asks Ruth Purdue while channelling her best Oliver Twist. Well, Ruth, have I got predictions for you.
Related: Australia v England, Ashes 2017-18: Guardian writers’ predictions
Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Woolloongabba, where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil fieldsmen shout something obscene. Two teams each with their questions and their frailties, mostly around the batting orders, and two bowling line-ups involving proven promise and unproven potential. Rawness and newness, where most players for Australia and England have never never contested an Ashes series before, and where neither captain has ever led one.
To get back to Billy Shakes and that opening sonnet, let’s hope there are no “misadventured piteous overthrows.”
Merry Ashes! Oh yes, after all the bluster and the chunter, the build-up and the breakdown, the distant thunder rumbles of former cricketers stirring from their slumber the whole world over and the whole Down Under, we’re here. Day 1 in Brisbane, which has dawned warm and cloudy with patches of sun, high cloud with some breeze rather than the dank sweaty low Queensland cloud that can hang around your neck like a hot wet feather boa.
Welcome to the Guardian OBO. We’ll of course be bringing you every over of the series from this morning until the final day in Sydney. For those rubbing sleep from their eyes in England, commiserations. For those chirpy and bright on the east coast of Australia, welcome. For those in other pockets around the world, do let us know where you’re listening in from.
Geoff will be here shortly. In the meantime, here are the Guardian columnist Jason Gillespie’s thoughts before the first Test:
Welcome to the Gabbatoir, where for the past 29 years Australia have been unbeatable in Test cricket. England will walk through the dark tunnel up from the dressing rooms and out into the middle to be met by harsh sunlight and 40,000 home supporters all willing them to fail.
It is a hostile venue to kick off this Ashes series and one that has seen many a visiting captain over the years drawn in by a hypnotic tinge of green on the surface, only to see their decision blow up in their face. Nasser Hussain doing so in 2002 is probably the most famous example between these two countries but he’s certainly not alone if you look through history.
Continue reading...