A dramatic day’s play ended with Australia on 52 for four in their second innings, a lead of 268, after another England batting collapse in the afternoon
This #Ashes Test is Adelaide 2006 in disguise – big first innings, bullish declaration, inviting nemesis in the third innings. The only slight difference is the second innings, in which England got 300 fewer runs than the script required
Read our report of day three, here:
Related: England seize Ashes lifeline against Australia after more batting woes
So, Australia end the day in control of the match despite a proud fightback from England in the second half of the day. Australia played by far the smarter cricket for the first two and a half days, and their first-innings lead of 215 will surely be decisive. England, at least, are going down swinging. Thanks for your company, night!
26th over: Australia 52-4 (Handscomb 3, Lyon 3) Woakes tempts Lyon into a loose drive that meets with nothing but fresh air. The next ball hits Lyon near the hip, and he goes down on his knees in an attempt to ensure this will be the last over of the day. It’s a successful ruse, and that’s the end of a thrilling day’s play.
Anyone think Smith was about 10 times more out on the first lbw than the second? Funny old game
25th over: Australia 52-4 (Handscomb 3, Lyon 2) If England get Handscomb tonight they will think this match is winnable. He just about survives a superb over from Broad that includes an edge short of slip, a play and miss and an attempted leave that goes to slip on the bounce.
24th over: Australia 52-4 (Handscomb 3, Lyon 2) The new batsman is the nightwatchman Nathan Lyon, who edges his first ball fractional;ly short of third slip. “It’s game on now,” says Ricky Ponting on BT Sport. I still think Australia are well on top but it’s been a rousing performance from Anderson and Woakes in particular.
He’s gone this time! Smith is squared up by a beauty from Woakes that seams away to hit the back leg in front of off stump. It was very tight, and Smith reviewed straight away, but the point of contact with both pad and stumps was umpire’s call. It was just trimming the off bail.
23rd over: Australia 50-3 (Smith 6, Handscomb 3) Broad replaces Anderson, who bowled a largely brilliant spell of 11-7-16-2. There are 20 minutes to go before the close. Broad’s first over isn’t great, too wide and too short to Handscomb.
“Do you not think that if Smith wasn’t so damn good, he would just look like some kind of parody?” says Jon Vaughan. “If he ever loses form he is just going to look daft ...”
22nd over: Australia 50-3 (Smith 6, Handscomb 3) Handscomb is willing himself to get forward, even if it doesn’t come naturally, and he leans nicely into a cover drive for three off Woakes. Australia lead by 265.
21st over: Australia 47-3 (Smith 6, Handscomb 0) Smith gets off the mark with a firm flick through midwicket for four. Then Anderson traps him in front with a brilliant outswinger that pitched well outside leg stump. He almost didn’t review that LBW decision earlier in the over. It looked like a terrible review, in truth, because it was hittimg middle stump halfway up, but the replays showed that more than half the ball pitched outside leg stump.
Oh my goodness. England were certain they had Smith out for a duck. He got in a right mess, flicking across the line of a full-length inswinger from around the wicket by Anderson. It seemed to be plumb LBW but Smith reviewed it out of desperation and DRS suggested the ball pitched outside leg stump! England are not impressed with that.
20th over: Australia 41-3 (Smith 0, Handscomb 0) Handscomb edges his first ball just short of Cook at first slip. England realistically need at least two more wickets tonight, ideally four, if the miracle is to happen. These twilight variables are the great thing about day-night Test, which are the closest our generation will get to watching cricket on uncovered pitches.
Warner has gone! That was an excellent delivery from Woakes, seaming away from a fullish length, and Warner edged it straight to Root at second slip. Warner goes for a selfless 60-ball 14. Australia lead by 256, and England - the wretched fools - are in danger of giving themselves a bit of hope.
19th over: Australia 39-2 (Warner 12, Smith 0) The pitch map shows that more than half England’s deliveries in this innings have been short. That’s quite surprising as it feels like they’ve been fuller, if not full enough. Anderson’s figures are 10-8-10-2.
“So Rob, yesterday morning when Australia lost Handscomb at 209 we were saying that 250 was a good score and anything above 300 a real bonus, with hopes of getting them all out for somewhere in-between,” says Paddy Murphy. “Obviously that didn’t go to plan but does that mean our 227 is only just a little under par? Not that it matters really when on any view we are over 200 behind on the first innings..,”
Anderson strikes again, trapping Khawaja LBW with a beautiful outswinger from around the wicket. Khawaja reviews, hoping he got outside the line. If this is overturned, after what happened with Shaun Marsh the other day, Anderson will go postal.
It’s out! The point of contact with both pad and stumps was umpire’s call, so Australia don’t lose a review. But they do lose Khawaja, who played very well for his 20.
18th over: Australia 38-1 (Warner 11, Khawaja 20) Bairstow is wincing every time he takes the ball behind the stumps. Warner is beaten by Woakes, which means more pain for Bairstow. The problem is with his left hand, and he had a couple of painkillers at the end of the previous over.
“If they’d batted first England may have reached 240/50, hypothesises Andrew Hurley (9th over),” says Smylers. “Seems a bit harsh to suggest they would reach only 240 for the loss of 50 wickets, but there may be something in the idea of England being allowed five innings before Australia even have one.”
17th over: Australia 37-1 (Warner 10, Khawaja 20) This is a long spell from Anderson, who is into his ninth over. It’s another maiden, including a nasty lifter that raps Khawaja on the glove. Anderson’s figures are pretty pretty: 9-7-9-1.
“Watching from afar, the real story of this Ashes so far has been how Warner has shelved his ‘natural game’,” says Dileep Premachandran. “So often, you hear people using that as an excuse for reckless play. The discipline Warner has shown has been quite a revelation.”
16th over: Australia 37-1 (Warner 10, Khawaja 20) Australia are over the worst, with Chris Woakes failing to trouble them. The only person he has inconveniced is Jonny Bairstow, who is in pain after taking a wobbling delivery on the finger. Woakes needs to pitch the ball up a lot more. Michael Vaughan may have coined a new phrase during this match: “pretty bowling”, when you beat the bat a lot and seem to be unlucky, but in reality have not bowled full enough because you are scared of being driven. And though England have been better in this innings, they have still been guilty of some pretty bowling. Andy Caddick was a very pretty bowler.
“I don’t think the toss mattered,” says Alistair Halton. “We’re a good side but not good enough to beat them in Australia. Yes I think we should have batted but I think we’d have got rolled for 240.”
15th over: Australia 35-1 (Warner 9, Khawaja 19) A few technical problems, sorry about that. BT Sport tell us that David Warner has left almost 50 per cent of the deliveries in this innings. You know you’re in trouble when you are getting lessons from Warner in defensive batting. England’s shot-selection was desperate this morning.
13th over: Australia 32-1 (Warner 9, Khawaja 17) A maiden from Anderson to the watchful Warner, who has nine from 36 balls. It’s been another mature innings. You suspect that, if he survives until the close, he will be rewarded handsomely for his patience tomorrow. His strike rate in this series is 57, his lowest in Australia.
“Ah, TMS beat me to it,” says Tom Bowtell. “Overton second highest by a top-scoring number 9 on debut behind Charlie Absalom’s 52 in 1878-79. Previous instance was Jack Board, top scoring with 29 in Feb 1899. So first to do it for 118 years.”
12th over: Australia 32-1 (Warner 9, Khawaja 17) Craig Overton replaces Stuart Broad and is thick-edged for four by Khawaja, who softened his hands at the point of impact. A dismal short ball is pulled sweetly for four more. Australia lead by 247, and the only thing that can stop them winning this game is an apocalypse.
“I don’t want to start an inquest yet, but it is hard to see Bayliss surviving a whitewash against this workmanlike Aussie side,” says Phil White. “The suspicion that he is out of the loop on county cricket is gaining weight here. How about a Paul Collingwood & Angus Fraser double act to take the reins next?”
11th over: Australia 24-1 (Warner 9, Khawaja 9) A big outswinger from Anderson beats Khawaja’s outside edge by a mile. Bairstow still appeals for caught behind. Warner flicks his first boundary off the pads.
“Mark White needs to give it a chance - this is one of the best places for an Australian supporter to be,” says Eamonn Maloney. “When things get grim for England the ennui can be so complete as to be nourishing. During the ‘07 series I lived off nothing but the OBO and Ryvita.”
In other news...
Related: England set to name Ben Stokes and Alex Hales in squad for Australia ODIs
10th over: Australia 19-1 (Warner 5, Khawaja 8) Warner chips Broad not far wide of midwicket for three. It’s definitely becoming less uncomfortable for Australia’s batsmen, although there’s still enough going on for Broad to beat Khawaja outside off stump.
Meanwhile, Tom Bowtell is trying to find out who the last England lower-order batsman (Nos 8-11) before Craig Overton to top score on his Test debut. Anyone? Anyone? Fry?
9th over: Australia 15-1 (Warner 2, Khawaja 7) Khawaja is playing very well and defends throughout another maiden from Anderson. He has figures of 5-4-4-1. It’s interesting that, for all the seductive swing, Anderson’s pitch map shows that 62 per cent of his deliveries have been short of a length.
“Imagine if England had batted first (ie, if Root had thought outside the box) - yes they might have been bowled out for 240/50 but at least would have had a go at Australia in the evening session which is a huge advantage, as we now see (and all knew beforehand),” says Andrew Hurley. “Root doesn’t seem to have any of those ingredients it takes to be a good captain.”
8th over: Australia 15-1 (Warner 2, Khawaja 7) Warner chases a very wide delivery from Broad and is beaten. “Did he nick that?” says Stuart Broad to Jonny Bairstow. England only have one review left so they can’t risk it. Batting is becoming slightly more comfortable at Broad’s end.
“Is it cowardly to pray for smog?” says John Dalby. “I’ll get my coat. And mask.”
7th over: Australia 12-1 (Warner 2, Khawaja 5) Warner just about gets something on a big Anderson inswinger before being beaten by a lifting legcutter. It’s brilliant bowling, in very helpful conditions, and with a bit more luck Australia could be three down.
“Re: your comment on Anderson at 0918,” says Indy Bagral. “Yes he’s had some good series but the averages don’t lie - outside of England he’s just not that much of a threat. Plus, everyone seems to ignore the fact that it’s a lot easier to look like a better bowler when your batsmen have just put up 8 million for 2 to defend (Aus 10-11).”
6th over: Australia 12-1 (Warner 2, Khawaja 5) Warner is beaten by a preposterous leg-cutter from Broad, and then Khawaja softens his hands to edge Broad short of the slips and through for four. He and Warner are doing well in desperately difficult conditions.
“G’day Rob,” says Mark White. “How are you? Do you need a hug? Um, given that your website now operates in Australia and not just as a colonial operation from the MCC, could you at least try and be a little less YAY ENGLAND OH SHIT ENGLAND - and
report the game?”
5th over: Australia 7-1 (Warner 1, Khawaja 1) With the ball swinging, Australia are focussing exclusively on survival. Khawaja is beaten by consecutive outswingers from Anderson, who is making the ball talk like Brian Blessed.
4th over: Australia 7-1 (Warner 1, Khawaja 1) Warner is drawn towards a wide, full delivery from Broad that slips past the edge. If England can bowl Australia out for 60-odd, they might just win this game. If that happened, I doubt I’d ever stop laughing. It won’t happen. But they are causing all sorts of problems, with Khawaja also beaten in that over from Broad.
“Must be reverse commentator’s curse - the Channel 9 commentary here in Australia started with Warnie bagging James Anderson as useless outside of England!” says Alistair Gillett. “Amazing bowling so far.”
3rd over: Australia 5-1 (Warner 0, Khawaja 0) Khawaja is beaten first up by a glorious inswinger that just misses the off bail. This is Anderson at his regal best, and that was a superb wicket maiden.
Balls swinging Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy
Bancroft edges Anderson just short of slip but falls to the next ball, thin-edging a lovely outswinger through to Jonny Bairstow. This is so much better from England, who are pitching it up and have the chance to run through Australia tonight.
2nd over: Australia 5-0 (Bancroft 4, Warner 0) Stuart Broad starts with a wide. Outstanding stuff. He pitches the ball up after that, and beats Warner outside off stump with an absolute beauty. Jonny Bairstow thinks there was an edge, but Broad doesn’t appeal and signals that he heard nothing. Joe Root reviews. Not for the first time in this match, it’s a decision he soon regrets.There’s nothing on Hotspot or Snicko, so Warner survives and England have lost a review.
1st over: Australia 4-0 (Bancroft 4, Warner 0) Jimmy Anderson, heavily criticised for not bowling full enough in the first innings, starts the innings with two short balls. Tremendous stuff. He does pitch it up later in the over, and almost nails Bancroft with a swinging yorker. Next stop, rocket science. The over ends with Bancroft thick-edging a full delivery for four.
Australia will bat again. See disintegration, mental.
Australia lead by 215 on first innings They have the chance to enforce the follow on, though I suspect they will bat again.
That’s it. Anderson misses a sweep and is hit flush in the man zone. That’s plumb LBW, or GBW if you prefer, and Craig Overton is left high and dry on 41 not out.
76th over: England 227-9 (Overton 41, Anderson 0) That was a beautiful catch from Paine to dismiss Broad, because there was sharp turn and bounce and then a deviation off the edge. Overton, meanwhile, misses an attempted slog sweep at a bouncer from Cummins. Seriously.
75th over: England 227-9 (Overton 41, Anderson 0) “Hullo Rob,” says Alistair Connor. “With respect to surprising LBW decisions, am I the first to call a Russian hack on DRS? The Huggy Bear team, or whatever they’re called. OK, as conspiracy theories generally do, it has a weak point: why would the Russians want to favour Aus ? But Putin must have his reasons, he is the geopolitical chess grandmaster, he’s three moves ahead.”
I was thinking about this last night, in bed, in my briefs. See also: that Tendulkar LBW in the 2011 World Cup semi-final. We trust technology implicitly but what if some gunk-faced geek thought, ‘Nah, I’m not having that’ and hacked the system?
Gone, gone, gone. Lyon gets one to spit nastily at Broad, who tries to work to leg and gets a thin edge through to Tim Paine.
74th over: England 227-8 (Overton 41, Broad 3) A short ball from Cummins hits Broad in the chest and is nicely taken by the swooping Bancroft at short leg. It would have been another fine catch, had Broad hit it.
“A good friend of mine who now lives in the bright lights of ‘Just Outside London’, and is (frustratingly) a better musician than me, was back in West Wales over the weekend to see family,” says Matt Dony. “I met up with him on Saturday, and we jammed on some 90’s-tastic grunge and rock. Excellent. On Sunday, I went to visit my family. That means a Chinese takeaway. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen my five-year-old son shovel away fried rice. I didn’t fancy Chinese, though, so I went for a kebab meat and chips. The meal that got me through the ‘Learning to drink years.’ Wonderful. Anyway, the point is, my weekend had the feel of an ersatz 90s tribute. Waking up to this scoreline just seems right. Not pleasant, not nice, not good, but right. Damned, annoyingly, painfully right.”
73rd over: England 224-8 (Overton 40, Broad 2) Australia go back to Nathan Lyon for the first over after dinner. Overton gives him the charge and scrunches a cracking boundary through mid-off to move into the forties. He’s been a beacon of cheer in a thoroughly miserable match for England.
Dinner-table conversation
“Morning Rob, how’s it going?” says David Horn. “Oh. There’s much talk of bringing in Mark Wood in for the third Test ... but here’s a thing ... I understand that he ‘brings something different’ has ‘a bit of X-Factor’ etc. but he also brings a bowling average over 40, with 3 wickets for 80-odd as his best return. Let’s not get too excited. It’s also unclear how he’s going to slot in to our top six.”
72nd over: England 219-8 (Overton 36, Broad 1) Broad pre-empts a short ball from Starc, jumps across his crease and gets four leg-byes when the ball deflects off his rump. Since you asked me to curse Overton, by the way, the last England lower-order batsman (Nos 8-11) to score a fifty against Australia on his Test debut was Paul Allott in 1981. The last to do it against any opposition was Liam Dawson in Chennai a year ago. Right, that’s dinner. It was a better session for England - but they still lost it, with Australia taking the wickets of Moeen Ali, Jonny Bairstow and Chris Woakes, all of them caught and bowled. See you in half an hour for the twilight session.
“I was here through the pain earlier,” says Ian Copestake. “Anyone expressing hope needs to stand in the corner and think about the decisions that have brought them to a point where hope is so important to them that reality is of no consequence. Go Brexit yourself.”
71st over: England 213-8 (Overton 36, Broad 0) Hazlewood replaces Lyon and rams a couple of short balls past the head of Overton, who sways nicely out the way. He has batted beautifully for a lower-order batsman on debut. When Hazlewood gives him a bit of width he cuffs the ball up and over the cordon for four.
70th over: England 208-8 (Overton 31, Broad 0) “Contrary to ‘The Fear’, I have ‘The Hope’,” says Venugopal Mani. “Imagine we somehow get to 250 and Broad produces absolute magic and skittles them out under the lights for 100-odd. You think we can chase down 300? I think it is possible given how well Broad has bowled to this very same team in the past.”
No. Hope this helps! England could skittle Australia tonight but I wouldn’t trust them to chase 200, never mind 300.
A third England batsman is out caught-and-bowled. Woakes tries to pull, is beaten for pace and lobs a simple return catch to Starc. That was a good innings, 36 from 62 balls, but he’ll regret the manner of his dismissal.
69th over: England 206-7 (Woakes 35, Overton 30) Lyon, bowling around the wicket, has an optimisitc appeal for LBW turned down by Chris Gaffaney. It was missing leg. We’re around 15 minutes away from dinner.
68th over: England 206-7 (Woakes 35, Overton 30) Overton squirts a thick edge along the ground for three, the last of those from an overthrow. This partnership has probably ensured Australia won’t enforce the follow-on, even if they have the chance to do so. After a hard day’s work, the fast bowlers probably won’t fancy overtime.
67th over: England 202-7 (Woakes 34, Overton 27) Overton hoicks Lyon over square leg for four, an excellent shot that brings up the 200. This is a really impressive partnership, which has raised one small question: WHAT WERE YOU TOP-ORDER GALOOTS DOING EARLIER TODAY YOU IMPATIENT, WEAK-WILLED “£$(*!$ERS?!
66th over: England 195-7 (Woakes 32, Overton 22) Starc slips an excellent delivery past Overton’s outside edge. That’s the length to bowl to competent lower-order batsmen, certainly once their eye is in. He does it again two balls later and glares at Overton in disgust. A superb maiden ends with a third delivery that beats the bat; this time he and Overton smile at each other in acknowledgement of fortune’s fickle finger.
65th over: England 195-7 (Woakes 32, Overton 22) Nathan Lyon comes back into the attack. A decent first over, one from it.
“I never thought I’d come to work to avoid the cricket,” says Guy Hornsby. “But here I am, at my desk at 7am because watching an hour at home after feeding my three-month old was just too much to stomach, and I was there in the 90s. At least she’s too young to remember this farrago. Thing is, we’re no dirt-trackers, but we’ve properly lobbed this down the u-bend. A cricketing suicide.”
64th over: England 194-7 (Woakes 32, Overton 21) Mitchell Starc replaces Pat Cummins. Woakes drives two through the covers and then uppercuts a little streakily for four. That brings up the fifty partnership, England’s first since the first innings of the Brisbane Test.
63rd over: England 187-7 (Woakes 26, Overton 20) A rare full delivery from Hazlewood is square-driven beautifully for four by Woakes, down on one knee in the Caribbean style. Four leg-byes take England closer to the magical 200 mark. These two have played admirably, which makes the morning session even more miserable for England fans.
“Morning Rob,” says Kim Thonger. “I think it’s safe to say there are no Australians in coach A on the 0654 Wellingborough to St. Pancras. Uniformly glum faces and defeated demeanour. I’m thinking of starting a sing song starting with ‘Pack up your troubles in your old kitbag’ to try and restore morale. I think I’d be thrown off the train at Bedford though.”
62nd over: England 177-7 (Woakes 21, Overton 19) The consensus is that, were this a day game, Australia wouldn’t enforce the follow-on. But if they dismiss England around dinner, the temptation to put them in again under lights will be enormous. They might even finish the game tonight.
#Ashespic.twitter.com/v9gttq2ert
61st over: England 175-7 (Woakes 21, Overton 17) Woakes shovels Hazlewood just short of long leg, and then Overton pushes nicely through mid-on for three. That makes this the highest partnership of the innings: 33 runs.
@GeoffLemonSport Nice to see that Overton has washed his jumper. Is even laundry beyond us? pic.twitter.com/62vXUNZkaZ
Morning (what’s so effing good about it)
60th over: England 169-7 (Woakes 19, Overton 14) Cummins. Fill in the blanks. Short, Overton fending, Woakes dodging. Then popping one up on the leg side, but it carries over the short leg fieldsman and lands safe. How long will this method of attack continue?
“I love a good nineties tribute” writes Robert Wolf Peterson. “Currently gorging myself on Opal Fruits (not Starburst), Marathons (not Snickers), and misguided fin-de-siecle optimism. Can’t wait to see whether Blur or Oasis will be number one at the weekend.”
59th over: England 166-7 (Woakes 18, Overton 13) Hazlewood bowls another couple of snorters when it comes to the short ball. But when it’s full, Overton drives another square boundary for four. Looked very good, that stroke.
Ah, there’s Clem Hill. He made 98 and 97, in fact, at Adelaide. One of the great Ashes Tests, when Australia chased 315 in the last innings and did it six wickets down. Hugh Trumble took 6-for in bowling out England for 247 in the third innings. But Len Braund had made a hundred in the first, then Hill and Victor Trumper struck back in the second. Hill, Joe Darling and Trumble saw Australia home in the fourth.
58th over: England 161-7 (Woakes 18, Overton 8) Cummins back for Starc from the River End. A couple of singles nudged and prodded, then Overton decides to fight fire with fire. He almost charges Cummins, clears the front leg and pastes the pull shout out to deep backward square. The only dampener is that Hazlewood has gone down there to rest, and he’s able to come around the boundary, slap the bouncing ball down as its about to cross the rope, then come back into the field of play to pick it up. A likely boundary becomes a single. Woakes pulls a couple more runs out to a similar spot, just square enough of Hazlewood to get back for the second despite a clever bit of tandem fielding with Lyon in the deep.
57th over: England 157-7 (Woakes 15, Overton 7) Josh Hazlewood back in the attack for Lyon, from the Cathedral End. Lovely stuff too. He’s not the fastest of these Australian quicks, but he’s just bowled three of the best-directed bouncers. Overton does well, sniffing leather as he gets his head out of the way. He also gets one that nearly takes the edge to Paine, but dies on its way to the cordon, and gets a short ball with just enough width to draw a perfect little cut shot for four! No flourish, just tucking the elbow into the hip and chopping it down into the ground and away through the gully for four.
56th over: England 153-7 (Woakes 15, Overton 3) Starc continues his reign. Woakes manages to bunt a run to cover. Overton fends one just past short leg, almost under Bancroft’s arm there. Gets away with it, just too close to the body for the fieldsman to get his hand to it. Starc finishes up with a short wide ball, and a relieved Woakes slams it for four! Cut Shot City Limits. That 150 milestone has at least been passed.
Brian Withington represents quite a few people on the communication channels who aren’t great fans of Boycott on the radio waves. “Only thing worse than watching England suffer is listening to the greatest living Yorkshireman explaining ad nauseum how inadequate everyone is. Batting is easy, it’s simple, just do as I say. I seem to recall he wasn’t averse to make it very easy from the non-striker’s end and picking and choosing his tours. He can’t even praise Lyon without sticking the knife in Moeen’s bowling and batting. Ponting far classier with bat and microphone.”
55th over: England 147-7 (Woakes 10, Overton 2) Overton mistimes a drive but is able to double his tally of Test runs from the shot. Woakes nicks a ball past slip for three more. This is... not convincing, is the nicest thing I can say about England’s batting. On email, Yum is getting philosophical. “If you trash talk but you actually do what you say you’re going to do, is it still technically regarded as trash talk?”
54th over: England 143-7 (Woakes 7, Overton 1) Poor old Craig Overton. On Test debut, coming out “with England deep in the mire,” as Agnew calls it. Facing Mitchell Starc for his first ball in Test cricket. Guess where it’s going to pitch? And that is fast. Genuinely quick. I didn’t catch the speedo for that one, but I saw Johnson’s famous spell here in 2013, and that ball looked every bit as quick. Overton ducks it, then fends off the next for a run. Relief for him, he’d previously made two ducks on tour. Gets off the mark in Test cricket.
I spoke too soon. Another unlikely wicket in athletic fashion, as Bairstow drives hard back past Starc. Well, nearly past him. Starc threw up his right hand in his follow-through, clipped the ball with that arm, and rebounded it up in the air. Somehow Starc was able to twist his spine around, fling that hand back, and snare the ball as it came down behind him.
53rd over: England 142-6 (Bairstow 21, Woakes 7) Lyon to Woakes, who prods around for a while before he can get off strike. Alex McClelland is emailing in: “As an Englander who has been in this land since 1997 this is all rather familiar. My question is; assuming England are all out for around 150 (and the word ‘assuming’ lends that phrase an undeserved level of doubt), what would the Aussies see as more humiliating: enforcing the follow on and bowling them out again for less than their first innings total, or batting and giving Root’s boys a ludicrous 500 or so to chase in their last innings? Decisions, decisions...”
Well, they might just get the 150 from here.
52nd over: England 140-6 (Bairstow 20, Woakes 6) Starc bowling rockets. Nearly gets Woakes’ edge again, but the batsman yanks the bat away as a ball flew threw at ribcage height. There’s a third slip standing 30% closer to the batsman than the others in the cordon, and wearing a helmet. Must be there for a fend or a gloved ball, given quite a few haven’t carried all the way. Two singles in the over.
51st over: England 138-6 (Bairstow 19, Woakes 5) Contrasting styles, Lyon and Starc, but equal danger. Lyon has Bairstow edging past his stumps, Woakes edging into his pad past short leg, then very nearly Woakes nicking behind. He’s bowling beeeeeautifully, the shiny-headed one.
In the meantime, Glenn McGrath is stuck in the left. If only Michael Vaughan were in there too, like at Lord’s in 2013. Those were halcyon days.
Free the Adelaide one!
Engineers on their way to rescue @glennmcgrath11 from a stuck lift. #bbccricket#ashespic.twitter.com/04EmvHXZZ8
50th over: England 137-6 (Bairstow 18, Woakes 5) Ok, buckle up. Starc to Woakes. After the Gabba, this will only go one way. And it does. Woakes ducking and dodging, before playing at one outside off that he shouldn’t have been near. Needs a comeback. Finds one, smashed for four! Got every piece of the pull shot that splits the two men in the deep.
49th over: England 133-6 (Bairstow 18, Woakes 1) Stunning stuff. A blinder. Not fair, when you’re the team struggling, that someone can do that against you. Woakes gets off the mark with a nudge to cover. England still 309 behind. Obviously he can’t do much about that, but he has to try.
What an incredible catch! Moeen looking to be proactive, he’d already driven a chip over cover for two runs in that over, and the off-side field was stacked for him with the ball spinning away. So he tried to go straighter, more to mid-on. Didn’t get to the pitch of the ball and pushed it away in the air. But it should have been safe. It should have been a couple of dicey runs. It shouldn’t have had Nathan Lyon levitateacross the wicket, horizontal, and clasp the ball in his despairingly outstretched left hand. Lyon was yards off the cut strip by the time he landed. What incredible work from him, after that run-out in Brisbane. His newfound athleticism in the field is changing games.
48th over: England 130-5 (Moeen 23, Bairstow 18) Starc to continue, having had his daily rest. The left-armer is coming around the wicket to the right-handed Bairstow. Has him groping and missing for a fast full toss, then rising up on his toes and dropping the gloves under a shorter one just on off stump. A few leaves in that over, and you’d think Starc will start attacking the stumps or the collarbone more in the next. In fact Clem Hill made... I think a 98 and a 99, in the same Test match, on this very ground? Something around that mark.
47th over: England 130-5 (Moeen 23, Bairstow 18) Nice and positive start from Moeen, who moved down the wicket to drive Lyon smoothly through cover first ball after tea. Only got a single for it to the sweeper, deserved at least two. Bairstow misses out on a far less elegant sweep-swat, down on one knee, to a short ball that could have had the treatment. It bounces instead to leg slip, who is waiting there for the upper side of the glove. The batsman gets a single square next ball.
Gervase Greene, who is also a Philadelphia suburb, emails in. “A propos Adam Collins’ earlier marvelling at the statue of Clem Hill, it is worth recalling that Hill - who ended his career as the highest aggregate scorer ever - was famous for his terrible nerves as he approached a century. In three or four consecutive Innings he was out in the late-90s. Indeed, so sick with nerves did he become that the media wags dubbed him Clem ‘ill. I dare say OBO readers in the home country now might empathise...”
A mere 314 behind, and five whole wickets in hand. All is going to plan. No, let us not be facetious. This was a disastrous morning for England. Alastair Cook looked in excellent touch but was undone by Nathan Lyon once again. Joe Root didn’t look in excellent touch and once again couldn’t influence the contest. Leadership needed to come from the front, but in the end it is being left to the inexperienced and the lower middle order.
@GeoffLemonSport Mate, I don't know what all the fuss is all about. All we need is a 300 stand between Moeen and Jonny and we'll be back on terms.
@GeoffLemonSport Watching OBO updates through my fingers in Melbourne. Didn't think we'd be following on before I got home from work. Dire.
@GeoffLemonSport Geoffers, here's a song for the moment - by Roger Daltrey, no less. https://t.co/Iy69rLjG1H
46th over: England 128-5 (Moeen 22, Bairstow 17) Cummins to bowl it. Bairstow jams a single. Moeen drives nicely, simply, straight past the bowler and Warner’s chase back is successful this time keeping them to three runs. Bairstow leaves the second-last ball, then punches a couple of runs through midwicket. So a productive bonus over for England in the end, with six runs from it, and that is the 20-minute tea break.
Greg Ryan is our Czech mate, reporting from Teplice. “Morning Geoff, as a counter to the gloomy mornings of my English northern hemisphere contemporaries, there’s nothing much more exciting than getting up early on a snowy morning to read OBO and see how Australia is doing. Especially good when playing the Old Dart. A bit like Christmas morning 5 days in a row times 5 tests! Na zdravi!”
45th over: England 122-5 (Moeen 19, Bairstow 14) Mid-off set well back for Moeen, and staying there as mid-on for Bairstow, so they’ve taken a couple of easy singles that way. The over finishes just in time to sneak one more in before the tea break. England missed a trick there.
@GeoffLemonSport Pat Cummins averaging 43 with the bat and 21.33 with the ball so far. I think he is enjoying himself.
@GeoffLemonSport Pat Cummins is going to haunt the dreams of English cricket fans for the next decade. Discuss. #ashes17#AUSvENG
44th over: England 118-5 (Moeen 17, Bairstow 12) Cummins to Bairstow, who cover-drives for four! That’s the risk-reward of his game. Full ball there and he covered the line well. Warner gives up the chase, and he never gives up the chase. He’s like some kind of non-giving-up school guy.
43rd over: England 114-5 (Moeen 17, Bairstow 8) Moeen comes down the wicket and tries to slam Lyon way down the ground, but only drags it to mid-off. Bairstow bunts through leg, then Moeen nearly nicks off as Lyon spins one away.
@GeoffLemonSport Considering Paul Collingwood got an MBE for 7, getting a bronze statue for 28 seems fair.
42nd over: England 112-5 (Moeen 16, Bairstow 7) Bairstow flashes outside off again! This time off the back foot, a forcing stroke. Cummins with too much pace. Three slips, gully, point. Plenty of space down the ground, so when he gets one pitched up, Bairstow drives straight for four. Not perfectly timed but got enough of it to lazily beat the chase. Cummins comes back to beat the edge again.
“If they collapse, enforce the follow on?” asks David Marshall. “New ball, under lights, night time session… this thing writes itself. Wrap it up by afternoon tea tomorrow.” That would certainly be a tactical consideration that the day-night format adds to the mix. You wouldn’t necessarily want to bat a second time starting in the evening session. Or waste the chance with the ball.
41st over: England 107-5 (Moeen 15, Bairstow 3) Mo tucks a single, Bairstow has the early jitters out of his system and blocks out Lyon’s over.
Dan Ellis-Jones is “sitting 2 and a half hours behind, on the other side if the Nullarbor. As a Pom working in WA state government, trying to nefariously make Australian cricket wins illegal in this state, I’m facing an uphill battle. Surrounded by Aussies, it’s particularly painful to scrape around for sporting victories to retaliate with. So, please pass on to the English cricket team the anguish unknown to those at home when England lose to Australia. A depression that even surpasses losing to Iceland. Please win. Whatever the cost!”
40th over: England 106-5 (Moeen 14, Bairstow 3) More yelps as Bairstow nearly chips up a catch back down the wicket. It lands safely. Hard to time Cummins’ pace. Katich on the wireless with the best summary: “The Australians batted with a lot more patience, they were a lot more watchful. England have been reckless today.” Cummins nearly draws a nick from Bairstow.Not much is inspiring confidence in England’s batting.
“Worst technological advance of the past few years?” offers Alex Graywod. “Wifi on planes. I can now follow today’s England collapse despite currently being approximately 38,000 ft above Turkey. A new high for a OBO letter (whilst England look set to plumb new lows)?”
39th over: England 106-5 (Moeen 14, Bairstow 3) Moeen has to go back into his shell now, facing out five balls from Lyon for a single. Bairstow draws a yelp as he dinks a run round the corner. “Barry Robran was a footballer?” asks David Markham. “I thought the statue related to his 2 Sheffield Shield games for SA in the early 70s. I just checked – he scored 28 runs at an average of 7.”
38th over: England 104-5 (Moeen 13, Bairstow 2) Jonny Bairstow in next. This will be interesting, after all the back and forth at Brisbane. He punches a couple through cover, then lines up a huge drive down the ground aside from the bit where you need to hit the ball. “He always starts his innings like he’s 45 not out,” says Jonathan Agnew on ABC.
Strange dismissal. First ball of the Cummins spell and he gets a back-of-a-length ball to move off the seam. Moved into Malan, who was just looking to work it away for a single somewhere, but the seam beat him, and the bounce beat him, and in the end it beat the bat on the inside, took his glove, and went through to the keeper.
37th over: England 102-4 (Malan 19, Moeen 13) Moeen versus Lyon, offie versus offie, and the Englishman gets down and wallops the sweep for four! That feels so good that he does it again. Moeen starting to find his range. He’s always better when he’s expressing himself, one feels.
36th over: England 93-4 (Malan 18, Moeen 5) Hazlewood bowling a normal length to start this over, then goes back to the short ball. Couple of singles. In today’s episode of Obscure Stat Time, we have seen Nathan ‘Nathan’ Lyon move past Mitchell Johnson for Test wickets taken on the Adelaide Oval. Lyon is now outright sixth, with 32. Ahead of him: Grimmett, McDermott, Lillee, McGrath, Warne.
35th over: England 91-4 (Malan 17, Moeen 4) Edged! Was it? Maybe it missed the edge. Lyon bowling, and that ball took off from this wicket, flew past the edge and into Paine’s shoulder behind the stumps. It was nicked on the replay. Hit the keeper on his left elbow as he tried to get his hands up. Not a dropped catch there, that one flew at him, high and wide. No one could have got that. Moeen gets a lucky run from the rebound.
34th over: England 89-4 (Malan 16, Moeen 3) Malan finally gives in to the pull shot here, and keeps it down from Hazlewood for a single to the deep. Not sure about the value of having Hazlewood send down so much of the short stuff when he’s so good at a fuller length. Four short balls in the over.
Still, Brian Withington sends through a comms stats that “Australia’s opening bowlers averaging 1.5m fuller deliveries than England’s on first innings , with Jimmy the worst culprit for keeping back of a length.” That bears out observations from yesterday. People are blaming Root, but it was such a waste from Anderson.
33rd over: England 88-4 (Malan 15, Moeen 3) Lyon sends down a maiden to Moeen. Hard for England to know what to do here.
@GeoffLemonSport made a bet with a friend - I said AUS would match 13/14 with at least 6 of the highest 7 partnerships in this series. I can start counting my winnings (pride, mostly) now, right?
32nd over: England 88-4 (Malan 15, Moeen 3) Right, the exam is over. Starc has to go and have a rest. Hazlewood comes back. You can see what Dirk means. Though his first ball is off the mark, a full and straying one that takes the pad and flies down for four leg byes. Moeen is doing the sensible thing, covering up thereafter. Glances a run to fine leg.
“Hello from Adelaide Oval,” writes Isaac Forster. “On the DRS subject I am slightly perplexed by the complaints. The Shaun Marsh one was the closest but if you look at a side on replay he was batting out of the crease and took a big stride forward. For both Paine and Malan the immediate reaction from all on the hill was too high, vindicated on the replays.”
31st over: England 83-4 (Malan 15, Moeen 2) “You don’t get the sense that there’s any respite,” says Dirk Nannes on the radio. “When Australia was batting you only thought there were a couple of wicket-takers.” Lyon is all over Moeen again, probing away, an an eventual single dinked to leg is all that comes from the over.
“It’s fine, now our No.6 comes in and scores a century, that’s what they do isn’t it?” You’ve watched cricket, Henry Wood, you know how it works.
30th over: England 82-4 (Malan 15, Moeen 1) Malan gets away from Starc earlier than usual, with another leg-slip fend, and it’s Moeen who has to take up the parade of ducks and dodges. Gets one full ball to drive for a single.
Richard King is harking back to those statues. “They might be ‘4 football players’ to you mate but one of them is Barry Robran - if you took the Don and melded in Sir Garfield you might have some idea of what he meant to footy in SA.” Indeed, they don’t tend to make bronze statues of people who weren’t significant in some way. When I next get time to write the history of the SANFL during an OBO, I’ll send an alert.
29th over: England 80-4 (Malan 14, Moeen 0) A wicket from the first ball, and a maiden to follow. Lyon beats Moeen three times in that over. “Suddenly he’s bowling hand grenades,” says Jim Maxwell on the wireless. And hello. On the replays, one of those balls may have been a nick. Moeen forced off the back foot, missed the ball, and snicko shows the tiniest of tiny spikes as the ball passes the back corner of the edge of the bat. So faint even the keeper wasn’t sure. He appealed but didn’t press for a review.
Inception.
@GeoffLemonSport Even your blog adverts can’t bare to watch this from England! pic.twitter.com/YEqfjS2ZwC
Punishéd, punishéd, all are punishéd! Fazeer comes in again. Lyon bowls that wide, too wide for Cook to be playing. The England opener’s decision-making abandons him this time. He was only defending, but he didn’t need to play that ball, and it ends up with Smith at slip. Went at it with hard hands. Unnecessary. My century vibes were wrong. England on the brink.
28th over: England 80-3 (Cook 37, Malan 14) The scheduled hydration interval has passed, and a refreshed M. Starc continues round the wicket short at Malan. He’s resisted hooking so far in this knock, and long may it continue. Fends two through slip, one down near Bancroft under the lid. There’s a short leg, a leg slip, a deep square leg, and a long leg. Two catching short and two catching deep. Good bouncer from Starc. Right over the shoulder. Flinch-worthy and a nasty angle in towards the batsman. Torrid stuff. Finally Malan fends along the ground to square leg, and gets off strike, but he’s faced five balls of the over.
Should I be involved in the throwing of shade? Can’t help it, this was good. I won’t tag the accounts involved, but I got one of that well-known genus of tweets blaming T20s for England’s current predicament. Too much money in the game, sack everyone and start again, that kind of constructive approach.
27th over: England 76-3 (Cook 36, Malan 11) Lyon to Malan. Again that positive footwork, driving to mid-off who is set well back. Cummins throws at the stumps on the tight single, but they’re through. Two slips again for Cook. He blocks his way through to drinks.
@GeoffLemonSport On the early train to Geneva airport. Open the OBO. This is going to be bad, isn't it?
26th over: England 75-3 (Cook 36, Malan 10) Starc with the short-ball attack. Just outside off, then one just missing the gloves down Malan’s leg side. Fuller and it’s defended. Chris Rogers on the radio wants the batsmen to stick fat. “You can’t bowl like this forever, can you. It wears the bowler out faster.” Starc’s around the wicket to the left-handed Malan, left-arm bowler trying to cramp him up. Malan jabs a single through square leg to escape the examination. Cook, back over the wicket. Three slips, gully, point, cover is open, mid off, mid on, square leg, deep fine. Hit on the pad from the one ball he faces, but it’s outside the line and off an inside edge.
Hold the faith, friends. Hold the faith.
@GeoffLemonSport Cook can look as good as he likes, not gonna do him much good when he's run out of partners. Dear oh dear
25th over: England 74-3 (Cook 36, Malan 9) Cook watchful against Lyon. On the back dog, pushing square. Two slips in for him, and a short cover. They want him driving, and he obliges, but straight at the close man.
Meanwhile, under a Bodhi tree...
@GeoffLemonSport No emotion at all to that dismissal. Just enjoying my coffee and yogurt as the utterly inevitable shellacking ensues.
24th over: England 74-3 (Cook 36, Malan 9) Dawid, what are you doing? Go home. Don’t you like your home? Malan jabs a ball to leg slip and just takes off. Immediately. Bancroft is right there, picks it up, and actually could have run out Malan before he’d even turned around to regain his ground. Did Cook give him the sense there was a run there? Malan started, stuttered, kept going, then finally did the spin. He would have been metres out had Bancroft hit, but the fieldsman was too keen to get the throw away. Scrubbed it badly. The batsmen trade singles thereafter. Starc continues with the short-ball approach, left-arm over, relentlessly pushing Malan back.
Alistair Gillett asks, “Don’t know if you are hearing Ch 9 audio, but Michael Clarke is banging on about how the batting conditions are wonderful and ‘the best England are likely to see in this Test’. Your thoughts?”
23rd over: England 72-3 (Cook 35, Malan 8) Thanks to PDR for the company.
@GeoffLemonSport morning, Geoff. Figured as it's 10pm here in Montreal I should keep you company for an hour or two until the UK early risers take over. How's the Adelaide weather looking? What's more likely do you think, a Cook century or snowstorm?
22nd over: England 67-3 (Cook 31, Malan 7) Mitchell Starc is back. Windmilling his arms, doing the aeroplane, wonder if we’ll see the horsey next? Bowling a good length to Malan who defends into the gully on the bounce. Khawaja picks it up. Not... the most natural gully fieldsman, he doesn’t really get must distance off the ground when the ball flies by. The DRS review comes and goes, and again it’s hit him fairly high, but again the tracking shows more bounce than you would have expected from that ball. Those who invented the technology defend it strongly, but there are still questions to my mind. So many balls have kept low on this pitch, and have barely made it through to the keeper or slips, so quite how they’re doing the Fosbury Flop over the bails, I don’t know. Malan ends the over with a glanced run.
Malan is struck... by Starc in front of the stumps. On the back leg. Umpire Aleem Dar takes an eternity to raise the finger, but eventually does. Like yesterday, in a relief for England, the bounce shows it to be going over on ball-tracking.
21st over: England 66-3 (Cook 31, Malan 6) Oh, an edge there from Cook. Lyon beats him that time, but concedes a couple of runs in the process. Cook turns another run through square leg, Malan advances and drives a single to mid-off. Simon Katich on ABC Grandstand is very complimentary of Malan. “He’s asking a few more questions of Lyon than he did in Brisbane.”
20th over: England 62-3 (Cook 28, Malan 5) Jaffa from Cummins. Round the wicket to Cook, jagged that off the pitch as Cook pushed at it. Lovely stuff. Cook defends the rest of the over, bar a single from the last.
As a pessimistic Englishman I would like to offer Adelaide this weather pattern from Brisbane @GeoffLemonSportpic.twitter.com/7U4oqhmA9w
19th over: England 61-3 (Cook 27, Malan 5) Here’s the expected. Two left-handers at the crease, so Nathan ‘Nathan’ Lyon comes on to turn the ball away from their edges. He’s had Cook a few times before, and got Malan in Brisbane. He’s working on the latter now. A few nervy strokes, but Malan trying to be positive in his movements. The last ball of the over is a bit flat and wide, and Malan carves the cut shot for four.
18th over: England 57-3 (Cook 27, Malan 1) Cummins to Cook, who pulls that for four! Got the ball down, and the bounce then fooled the substitute fieldsman at square leg, some local lad who will be identified in due course, who feels a bit silly as he pulls his temporary baggy green cap over his eyes and runs after the ball.
“If only beat poets were given column inches alongside Vic and Adam and Ali,” muses Daniel McDonald, sending the following.
Howl (of the English Tail)
17th over: England 53-3 (Cook 23, Malan 1) Cook just needs a partner. He finds a calm couple of singles from Hazlewood, while Malan’s run comes from a mistimed pull shot that pops up in the air. Oh dear.
Britain! We have a man behind enemy lines. We’ll never reveal his name. LOL jokes, he’s Garry Sharp, go and tail his car.
16th over: England 50-3 (Cook 21, Malan 0) Real trouble here, real trouble for Ye Olde Darte. Malan nearly follows suit, but his edge bounces into the cordon. You have to really smash one to get it to carry, here. This on the same pitch that apparently had LBWs soaring over the stumps, according to the computer. Hmm. Root had brought up his team’s 50 just before getting out, with a controlled punch off the back foot. But there was nothing controlled about his dismissal.
Cue Fazeer Mohammed audio: “Why did he do that?” Cummins bowls a bit fuller and fast, Root drops his knees to aim a huge cover drive at the width, and the length was just a touch too far back for that shot. Was basically driving on the up while sinking to one knee like the cover drives of old. Big edge zoomed to first slip, but part-time keeper Bancroft was up to it.
15th over: England 46-2 (Cook 21, Root 5) Oh, yes. Good over. Good contest. Hazlewood versus Cook for the whole six balls. Beats him once with a jaffa. Cook has the calm to handle it. Defends a couple well, a couple in less controlled fashion. Hazlewood right on the dime this morning.
14th over: England 46-2 (Cook 21, Root 5) In Shawshank terms, Cook is the man to tunnel England to freedom over the course of 25 years after they were unjustly imprisoned by their captain’s decision to bowl. Cummins is aiming at the stumps, looking for that Root lbw, but the baby skipper is able to tuck a couple of runs away, then a three. Cook leaves a wildly wide short ball then tucks a single. Runs on this pitch if you play properly. I suspect it’ll actually be at its best for batting today and tomorrow. The drop-in doesn’t really break up at all, unlike Adelaide wickets of yore.
@GeoffLemonSport Ah, Shawshank. 1994 was a good year for having soil in your pocket. Atherton's finest hour came two months before the film's release.
13th over: England 40-2 (Cook 20, Root 0)
@GeoffLemonSport god knows why I'm still awake,and god knows why I'm following this match still.Ive got as much hope as a wet Monday morning
@GeoffLemonSport In the pantheon of uphill struggles for England, this is just a little molehill, one that we'll look back on in February with urn in pocket and wonder how keeping the #ashes seemed so knife-edgey. Or not. Probably not. No. Deffo going to lose this one...
12th over: England 34-2 (Cook 14, Root 0) Poor most of our readers. (Hello, happy Australians.) “Hi Geoff, I’m currently writing a novel while staying in an isolated and haunted Irish cottage set in the woods. There’s no WiFi and only one bar of 3G. It’s terrifying. Sometimes it takes two whole minutes to refresh the OBO.”
A writer named King in a spooky cabin in the woods... could it be?
11th over: England 31-2 (Cook 11, Root 0) I’m sorry, Frank, but we’re now too late for this joke.
@GeoffLemonSport the adventures of hard-boiled Vince Stoneman are over. So the most important question of the day - who is Vince Cook? I'm leaning towards washed-up boyband member
Oh dear. “Not quite the cliched Vince dismissal, but just about,” says Collins next to me. Then he says some less printable things. Good delivery from Hazlewood, back of a length and bouncing high, but Vince could have just left that. Instead he fenced at it, off the back foot, a nothing forcing stroke, and nicked it off. Second over of the day. What doing.
10th over: England 29-1 (Cook 11, Vince 0) A slightly creaky start for Cummins, who is only in the mid 130s, or whatever that is in miles. Accurate though, it’s a maiden.
We’re about to get underway. Get excited about Adelaide. Here’s the traditional opening Adelaide OBO tune, feat. Young Farnsy.
In matters loftier than a mere Test match between these nations, this morning also saw the unveiling of a statue of Clem Hill, one of the finest batsmen of his or any generation. This also marks the final statue in a series of bronze figures erected around the Adelaide Oval. Jason Gillespie, George Giffen, and Darren Lehmann are the cricketers among another four Australian Rules footballers.
Clem was a left-hander, a dashing player, and a strong influence on the early Ashes rivalry. Won a couple of Tests off his own bat, and is fondly remembered for being possibly the only player to whack a selector, though many have wanted to. Here he is.
Clem Hill sculpture unveiled at Adelaide Oval. Absolutely magnificent. #Ashespic.twitter.com/iHKVbDTZp0
Oh, Ben Mimmack. Someone get that man a hug. “I’m looking forward to this session. For some reason, while I find it almost physically painful to watch England toil in the field as the opposition pile up an unattainable total, I can watch an England batting collapse with a sort of self-loathing delight. So either way, this first session should see me off to bed happy. Ah who am I kidding, I’m going to hate this aren’t I?”
In come two calls for a bright perspective. Joseph Hunt “Just landed in a wet and drizzly Melbourne after two days of the Test in Adelaide. The Oval is just smashing all round even if the only beer on offer is weak and disgusting. The only consolation to take as a Pom in Aus is that this sort of bleak experience makes the seemingly distant future victories all the sweeter. If you could keep me perked up today with relentless and misguided optimism that would be awesome.”
That is exactly what I’m here for. England to win by three innings and 40 runs. And five wickets. Wearing sequins.
In the meantime, if you want to know a bit more about the enigmatic Shaun Marsh, you’d best find it from Adam Collins rather than him. Shaun took a vow of silence in 1996.
Related: Shaun Marsh’s last chance puts him at centre of Australia’s Ashes domination | Adam Collins
“Could your Australian correspondents explain why they get so worked up about English sledging?” enquires Ian Forth. (I doubt they could.) “It reminds me of Atherton’s response when he refused to walk after a massive nick to Healy who, predictably, gave him a monumental earful: ‘When in Rome’.”
On the other side of the fence, John Phaceas says “Just to start things in cheery way, I will be cutting out and framing today’s story in The West Australian newspaper about the career rebirth of Shaun Marsh, mainly for its description of serial big mouth James Anderson.”
“help, i’m in london,” writes Gil Southwood, which would indeed be cause for requesting aid. But wait, there’s more.
“finishing up a presentation on important gender economists. i’m giving said presentation in 8 hours.” Gil is under such strain that capital letters have gone by the wayside.
Adelaide! The city with a river in it! Also some places of worship. History happened here, with people doing things in the past. They built some buildings out of rocks, and now those have people working in them. It’s unlike any other place in the world. Oh, there are parks. Places with grass where you can sit down. Maybe not today, it’s a bit cold. But in theory... the sky’s the limit.*
Let’s hear Adelaide’s national anthem, by this American man.
If you want more detail of yesterday’s play than my potted summary, let’s ask the man whose job it is to give you one. Step forward, Victor.
Related: England face an Ashes mountain to climb as Australia turn the screw
I know it’s late in the UK, and you’re sensibly in bed, and things aren’t that promising for England. But come on. Spirit of the Blitz and all that. The OBO is nothing without you, a mere shell of a live-update reel. Add me on Twitter at @GeoffLemonSport, or email geoff.lemon@theguardian.com.
Play will start half an hour early this morning, due to the rain last night. Wasn’t that a handy shower for England fans. Spared England batting through most of the final session, when the ball is at its most dangerous and hardest to see. It’s an interesting tactical point in day-night cricket that you’ll always see teams dawdle through the first two sessions, because they want as many overs in the evening as possible to bowl the others out. But then that can backfire if you do bowl them out and end up batting yourself. Ah, the intricacies.
So, where are we at? England will resume this morning one wicket down and about 400 runs behind. You are settling in to join me for the inevitable Alastair Cook double-century that will come today - in fact, by the time the blog changes hands after three and a half hours of play, he’ll be on about 62 not out. So get ready, it’s going to be a treat.
Australia got their lead yesterday thanks to Shaun Marsh’s hundred, which really was an excellent show of patience and control, plus some excellent lower-order sensibleness from Patrick Cummins, then some fun times from Nathan ‘Nathan’ Lyon. England aren’t out of this yet, but could be very quickly if wickets tumble.
I would throw in a 1D clip about lighting up my world, but even I’m not that cruel third post on an OBO.
Good morning, evening, or afternoon. Welcome back to Adelaide in electronic form, as we send bits of energy whirling up and down a network of wires that envelop the world in a peculiar embrace. Yes, I know how computers work. Of course. Like when you clap so that Tinkerbell doesn’t die or whatever it is. Get up, Tinkerbell. We can’t live with the guilt.
It’s another cool and cloudy day here in the South Australian capital, which will please those bowling. Not the sort of cloud that looks thick and muggy and dangerous, just that the Australians will be able to run in without overly exerting themselves. Which isn’t ideal for England, nor is visibility ideal without the sunshine that makes the pink ball light up.
Geoff will be along shortly. Meanwhile, read about how Ben Stokes got on in his club game in New Zealand.
Ringed by pine trees and oaks, Mainpower Oval, 30 minutes outside Christchurch, gradually filled with spectators as 11am approached on Sunday. Lord’s it wasn’t, but at least we had Lorde’s Melodrama blaring out across the sleepy pitch. “Watch me disapear,” she sung on Liability, as Stokes, cap firmly settled backwards, batted in the worn nets. “Watch me disappear into the sun.”
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