Joe Root reached his century on the day’s final ball to help guide England past India’s total of 257 at Headingley
Related: Joe Root reaches century on last ball as England beat India to win ODI series 2-1
So that’s the last of the summer white-balls, at least in terms of internationals – plenty of T20s to come around the country if you feel like a Blast. England wobbled badly in the T20i series, started this one abysmally, and then bounced back in great style, led by Eoin Morgan and Joe Root, two captains for the price of one.
The last word goes to John Starbuck, writing half an hour ago. “Nobody has much to say about this game as England are going to win it and the series. There will be a bit of a ceremony after which we all forget about it until we reconvene for the proper stuff in August. It’ll be worth while seeing how many of the present sides make it to the long form but I doubt anyone has learned much, except perhaps that Stokes isn’t quite back to his best yet and MSD may be playing his last tour, so will India try another keeper? Hoping Anderson and Broad both are on the money. How much influence will the new selector Taylor have?” And will England recall Moeen Ali, who took 19 wickets against India last time they were here.
“I think outstanding,” is Eoin Morgan’s verdict on England’s performance. “David Willey and Mark Wood almost set the tone for the innings. We know the conditions here really well so we managed to take advantage of that. Probably a 300, 320 ground.” So, in his book, India were more than 30 short, though he doesn’t put it so bluntly.
“As a captain, you’re only as good as your team. I thought we got better as the series went on.” Especially at playing Kuldeep? “He set a completely different challenge for us and it’s satisfying that we went through our plans and executed what we wanted to do.” Asked about the World Cup, he points out that it’s still a year away. Well, nearly.
“I thought we were never on the mark,” Kohli says. “We were 25-30 short. England thoroughly deserved to win today.” He congratulates the England spinners on bowling as a partnership. He’s gracious in defeat, which, as Gareth Southgate observed the other day, is harder than being magnanimous in victory.
Player of the Series is, of course, Root. A massive turnaround for you, says Isa Guha. “It feels fantastic,” says Root. “Testament to the hard work the guys do...” He almost sounds like a Test captain. “Great to bat with Morgs, he’s so calm.” The pitch was on the slow side but pretty good. “It was just about making sure we built that partnership.” They put on 186, unbeaten. “Knowing it was a must-win game, being able to stand up to that pressure. It’s going to be a great [Test] series.”
Player of the Match is not Root, or Morgan, but Adil Rashid, who flummoxed Kohli and took two other wickets. Good choice. “Me and Mo, we kept it tight,” he says, going out of his way to share the credit with his mate. He’s not a natural public speaker, but he made the ball talk today.
Here’s my colleague Ali Martin, on Twitter.“Joe Root goes past Marcus Trescothick to become England’s all-0time hundrediest ODI cricketer.”
Also on Twitter is Ravi Nair. “Thanks Tim.” Well, thank you, Ravi. “It’s been.. no, epic is not the word... ummm.. nor emotional... let’s just settle for this: it’s been cricket. Of a sort.” Indeed it has.
That was a strange match. England were excellent, but India allowed them to be, starting with their selection, which aimed to give fringe players a game, as if this was a meaningless group match, not a series decider. Kohli was up for it, but after Adil Rashid bowled him with a Shane Warne special, MS Dhoni seemed to give up the ghost, for the second match in a row.
Root doesn’t just have the most one-day hundreds among England’s big names: he also has by far the highest average, 51, when some other greats (KP, I’m talking about you) are in the low 40s. More than just a stat, that average is a tribute to Root’s ability to stay in while keeping the scoreboard ticking over. Saturday’s hundred has been retrospectively declared not-out, just like today’s. Morgan was excellent in both games too, and a series that could have been all about India’s spin twins ended up belonging to England’s two captains.
Root clubs Pandya over midwicket for four, and becomes the first Englishman ever to make 13 hundreds in one-day internationals. England win the match by eight wickets, with 33 balls to spare, and end up cruising to victory in a series that they started very poorly.
44th over: England 253-2 (Root 94, Morgan 88) Morgan is beaten by Thakur, who has shown perseverance, if not much else. He finishes with figures of 10-0-51-1, the only Indian bowler with a wicket.
43rd over: England 250-2 (Root 93, Morgan 87) Morgan is dropped off a slow full-toss from Pandya – a simple chance to Kumar at mid-on, not that it matters.
On Twitter, Ravi Nair is back for more. “Since you asked: Brexit is going as well as India are in this game.” True enough.
42nd over: England 244-2 (Root 91, Morgan 85) Root plays a handsome straight drive off Thakur. Perhaps he does fancy a hundred after all.
“Anything to say?” Alan Kirkup retorts [40th over]. “When’s the football on?” Fair comment.
41st over: England 239-2 (Root 86, Morgan 85) Kumar contines, and Morgan tries to keep everyone awake by attempting a big yahoo that produces only a Harrow cut. Root, in no such hurry, picks up a couple of singles. At this stage, India were 199-6.
40th over: England 236-2 (Root 84, Morgan 84) Only three off the over from Thakur. Has anyone got anything to say?
39th over: England 233-2 (Root 82, Morgan 83) Morgan sneaks ahead of Root, not that it will bother either of them. There’s unlikely to be time for a hundred, but they’ve both played well enough to deserve one. Only 24 needed now. Get them off one over!
38th over: England 229-2 (Root 81, Morgan 80) Root picks Kuldeep’s googly and plays it quite beautifully, opening the face to glide it for three, off middle and off. Morgan, sensing that Kuldeep might be feeling crestfallen, rubs it in with a six to long-on.
And here’s Tom Adam. “I am listening to TMS in the background (so sorry darling, it’s not you, it’s me) and the crowd sounds on the effects mikes are just as if we are playing away. So Root smacks a glorious boundary … and there is utter crowd silence. India go up for a dodgy LBW appeal … and the crowd bays for blood. I find this rather disconcerting. There’s something very odd about an English crowd watching England in England and cheering the opposition.” We’re not applying the Tebbit test, though, are we? Fans can cheer for whoever they want, and the vibrant support for India has been part of the fun of this series.
37th over: England 219-2 (Root 78, Morgan 73) Back comes Bhuvi Kumar, as Kohli fiddles with the stable door and the horse heads off into the distance. That’s drinks, with England needing only 38 off 13 overs, at a rate fractionally below three. I’m not sure they could mess this up if they were managed by Sam Allardyce.
And here’s Ian Copestake. “Can cricket be used to explain Brexit, or used to cure the divisions?” he wonders. “Do Brexiters despair watching English Indian fans at Headingley (and elsewhere)? I think I have answered my own questions. Carry on.”
36th over: England 213-2 (Root 75, Morgan 70) Another decent over from Kuldeep, but decency is not enough. It’s all over bar the presentation.
35th over: England 210-2 (Root 74, Morgan 69) Reprieved by the no-ball, Root celebrates with a lofted on-drive for four to leave Chahal nursing some wounded pride and figures of 10-0-41-0.
It’s a no-ball. Got to feel for Chahal there – it would have been out.
Mid-35th over: England 200-2 (Root 68, Morgan 69) Morgan thumps the first ball of Chahal’s last over for four to deep square, only to be beaten by a beauty that turns like something out of a song by Duckworth-Lewis. Then there’s a review for a stumping against Root...
34th over: England 196-2 (Root 68, Morgan 64) A better over from Kuldeep, who has answered the commentators’ plea and dropped his pace below 50. His series average, once in single figures, has ballooned to 15.
33rd over: England 193-2 (Root 67, Morgan 62) A few more singles off Chahal, who has kept the boundaries down, to just two off his nine overs, without providing the cutting edge that India were crying out for.
“Brexit metaphors?” snorts Ravi Nair. “Brexit is going as well as an eggless flourless cake being cooked by focussed sunlight in an Antarctic winter snowstorm.”
32nd over: England 188-2 (Root 65, Morgan 59) Kuldeep returns too, but he has gone from a magician to something manageable. England’s two captains take four off the over, which is now marginally more than they need.
An email entitled “Machines of doom” arrives. It’s Brian Withington. “Would that dastardly Fate-Tempt-o-Meter [27th over] share any design features with the Mockers-Max-o-Matic (patent pending)?” Ha.
31st over: England 184-2 (Root 62, Morgan 58) Chahal commands respect, as he has all afternoon, without finding the breakthrough. In the absence of a decent contest, we need a new topic of conversation. How do you feel Brexit is going, then?
30th over: England 181-2 (Root 60, Morgan 57) Morgan plays a pull for four off Thakur, who is then a touch unlucky as he persuades Root to edge a leg-glance and Dhoni misses a half-chance. That looks like that, but Kohli is trying spin again.
29th over: England 175-2 (Root 59, Morgan 52) Root drives Pandya, loosely but not dangerously, to third man, to bring up the hundred partnership off 119 balls. It’s the second game in a row that Morgan and Root have done that. Root is heading for Man of the Series, but Morgan would be just as good a choice, after that brave decision to bat first at Lord’s.
28th over: England 170-2 (Root 58, Morgan 50) Morgan, noticing that there’s no slip for poor old Thakur, plays a dinky deflection for four. A couple of singles later, he plays a more full-blooded shot outside off to reach fifty off 58 balls. Come on India, do something.
27th over: England 165-2 (Root 57, Morgan 43) Back comes Pandya, who doesn’t concede a boundary. The trouble is, it’s all about wickets now. Only a classic English collapse will do, and there’s no sign of one – at the risk of setting off what was known in the press box during the 2005 Ashes as the Fate-Tempt-o-meter.
26th over: England 159-2 (Root 55, Morgan 40) Thakur continues, for reasons I can’t explain, and Morgan helps himself to a cut that is more of a shredding.
And here’s Kimberley Thonger again. “Hugely impressed with John Starbucks’ filmic knowledge [19th over]. Have started plagiarism action against Lasse Halleström, the movie’s director, although due diligence suggests if he’s prepared to settle out of court he could be an excellent reserve wicketkeeper for the tour, and could make a fly on the igloo wall documentary to boot, thus immortalising the actual combatants.”
25th over: England 152-2 (Root 54, Morgan 35) Root, spotting Kuldeep’s length early again, takes a big confident stride and cover-drives for four to bring up yet another fifty, his 41st in 116 ODIs (including the 12 hundreds). Morgan, not to be outdone, whacks a straight four with a shot that’s straight off the hockey field, all eye and wrist and self-belief.
24th over: England 143-2 (Root 49, Morgan 31) Kohli, in desperation, goes back to seam in the form of Thakur. He concedes a few singles and when he tries a bouncer, it’s given as a wide, which rather sums up India’s day. They need to manufacture a wicket, by hook or by crook: then they’re down to Ben Stokes, who is well out of form.
23rd over: England 138-2 (Root 47, Morgan 29) Kuldeep returns, and after a couple of dots Root plays a classy sweep, all along the ground and fine enough to beat short fine leg.
“Afternoon Tim.” Afternoon, Nick Parish. “This is a slightly different riff – obviously this is a terrible cover but it firmly crosses over into ‘so bad it’s good’ territory. After all, who wouldn’t want to hear Lemmy singing about how hard it is to be a woman on this cover of Stand By Your Man?” Who indeed.
22nd over: England 134-2 (Root 43, Morgan 29) Chahal keeps it tight again. He’s conceded only 21 off seven overs, but he hasn’t been able to give Kohli the one thing he craves: a wicket.
21st over: England 131-2 (Root 41, Morgan 28) Morgan, facing Raina again, is like a man returning to the hotel buffet. He gives himself room outside off to play a lofted cover drive, and follows it up with something more orthodox, and just as clinical, in the same direction.
“Here’s the link,” says John Starbuck [previous over].
20th over: England 121-2 (Root 40, Morgan 19) A tidier over from Chahal, but it will take more than tidiness to turn this round.
19th over: England 119-2 (Root 39, Morgan 18) Kohli turns to his third spinner, Raina – the option Morgan didn’t go for with Root. Raina drops too short and after Root misses out, Morgan thumps him to the square-leg fence. That’s drinks, with England nearly half-way to a big win.
And John Starbuck is back for another spell. “If Kimberley Thonger [11th over] wants to know what a Nordic version of ‘I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts’ sounds like, he should check out the film My Life as a Dog (1985), where the Swedish version is the only record played.”
18th over: England 112-2 (Root 38, Morgan 12) Chahal half-deceives Morgan, twice, but fortune is favouring England after their bold start.
“Afternoon Tim.” Afternoon, Brian Withington, where on earth have you been? “Talking of Iceland and cover versions, you would need to travel a very long way indeed to find a better cover of anything than this collaboration between Todmobile and Jon Anderson. Like a Vince cover drive on a sunny afternoon - sublime.”
17th over: England 112-2 (Root 38, Morgan 12) More of the same. Kohli is trying to make something happen, but it’s just not working: the spin twins have none for 38 off eight overs.
16th over: England 108-2 (Root 35, Morgan 11) Root plays an uppish tuck, not unlike the one that did for Bairstow, but he evades the man at midwicket. He’s motoring along at a run a ball, right back in form.
15th over: England 103-2 (Root 31, Morgan 10) The Indians have been guilty of a few misfields and another one brings Root two overthrows, to turn a single into three. Morgan feels relaxed enough to pull out the reverse sweep, which brings another three, and that’s the hundred up, off 88 balls. England are well on top, but they still have a wobble in them.
14th over: England 96-2 (Root 27, Morgan 7) Root, using his feet like a dancer, spies a low full toss from Chahal and sweeps it for four. That’s five overs of spin that England have survived already, and they’ve taken 22 off them, which is all they need.
13th over: England 91-2 (Root 22, Morgan 7) Root is continuing with the masterclass in footwork that he began at Lord’s. He goes right forward to cover-drive Kuldeep for four, then right back to work him to midwicket’s right.
A tweet from Ravi Nair. “If we’re talking about cover versions of cricketers [8th over], then the grand daddy of them all is Sachin Tendulkar as the cover version of Sunil Gavaskar - The Little Master handing the baton over to the Little Master.” A rare case of the cover being even better than the original. Like Tainted Love.
12th over: England 85-2 (Root 17, Morgan 6) Chahal has another shout for LBW against Morgan, but his leg-break is doing a bit too much. But he gets a moral victory, and a row of five dots before Morgan pushes up to long-on.
11th over: England 84-2 (Root 17, Morgan 5) Kohli, spotting that England only need four and a half an over, goes for spin at both ends. Root seizes on a short one from Kuldeep, goes right back and somehow pulls it for four without hitting his wicket.
Meanwhile Kimberley Thonger is getting ever keen on the idea of an Icelandic tour. “Combining the Iceland and cover version themes, I vouchsafe the proposed touring side team song could be I’ve Got A Luvverly Bunch Of Coconuts in a Björk style, accompanied by Sigur Rós on the marimba.”
10th over: England 78-2 (Root 12, Morgan 4) Chahal’s first over has it all: the run-out, a strong shout for LBW as Morgan misses a big leg-break (off-break to him), and then a cracking four as Morgan latches onto a long hop. “Indian curry,” says a banner, “make England worry.”
It was tight, but not tight enough to save Vince, who was undone by some smart work from Dhoni, grabbing a throw and flattening the stumps in one motion. So Dhoni redeems himself, and poor old Vince, who hesitated fatally after Root’s call, is left to rue yet another elegant 20-odd.
An appeal for run out against Vince, which looks very tight.
9th over: England 74-1 (Vince 27, Root 12) Root pulls Thakur for an imperious four, then takes a single and tells Vince that Thakur has resorted to cutters. Kohli is so grumpy that he’s off the field, presumably discussing what the hell he can do next. It looks straightforward from here: either the Indian spinners rip through England, or the series is lost. It’s all down to Kuldeep and Chahal.
8th over: England 67-1 (Vince 26, Root 5) Vince at his Vinceyest, standing up straight and creaming an off-drive, before going back to whip to long leg. Kumar has now gone for eight fours off four overs, and to add insult to insult, Dhoni is standing up to him.
“My brain has been trying to take the intersection of cricket and cover versions to a new level,” says Peter Salmon, “by thinking about cricketers who are cover versions of earlier cricketers.” Nice. “For instance it seems that it is the law that you can’t talk about Josh Hazlewood without mentioning Glenn McGrath. When James Vince came into the side he was always shackled to Michael Vaughan. Abdul Qadir and Mushtaq Ahmed. Any others?”
7th over: England 57-1 (Vince 17, Root 5) Root at his Rootiest, going up on his toes to subject a perfectly respectable ball from Thakur to his back-foot caress for four. That brings the fifty up off 38 balls, and it’s followed by four leg byes as Dhoni adds a bit of incompetence to his intransigence. Has he lost it, do you think?
6th over: England 49-1 (Vince 17, Root 1) Joe Root nearly perishes to a comedy run-out – Vince’s revenge, perhaps, for being made to bat at three in Australia. Then Vince has a near-miss too, playing a Harrow cut for four. A better over from Kumar, who has changed ends in a bid to shake off the rust.
5th over: England 43-1 (Vince 12, Root 0) So Kohli was rushed into his first bowling change, but it worked, as Shardul Thakur nabbed the big wicket. Game on.
John Starbuck’s mention of possible tour of Iceland gets Kimberley Thonger going. “If there’s a requirement for a short portly military medium right arm over with Devon Malcolm tendencies in the batting department, I’m your man,” he says, irresistibly. “Available weekends until 18th December when I’m assisting SWMBO on a Hapsburg historical research venture in Segovia.”
Nooooooooo! Bairstow sees another half-volley and chips it straight to midwicket. What a shame. With a hundred there for the taking, he has to settle for one of the greatest cameos you’ll ever see.
4th over: England 38-0 (Vince 7, Bairstow 30) Two more fours for Bairstow, a whip through midwicket and a punch past cover. Then he rather spoils it with a quick single, before flicking past fine leg, to make seven fours off his last nine balls. He has raced to 30 off 12. Sensational stuff.
3rd over: England 23-0 (Vince 5, Bairstow 17) Kumar dishes up another long hop and Bairstow latches onto the cut as eagerly as Vince. The next ball is short again and straighter, so Bairstow pulls it for four. Then a full one, which goes past mid-off like a bullet, and a length ball, squirted to backward point. Four fours off the over. India didn’t do anything like that till the 49th.
Nasser mentions that India go better when Kohli is grumpy. “Where were you on the grumpy scale?” asks David Lloyd.
2nd over: England 7-0 (Vince 5, Bairstow 1) Hardik Pandya keeps it tight at the other end, allowing only a couple of snatched singles. Apologies in advance if my spellcheck calls him Panda, which it is itching to do. Are automated systems always inclined to be overzealous?
Meanwhile, here’s John Starbuck. “Just finished listening to TMS and the rise of kriket in Iceland (they don’t have a ‘c’ so that’s how they spell it). They are appealing for English teams to visit and play and promise some Viking-style drinking as part of the trip. As it’s the first time I’ve heard Egil’s Saga (Skallagrimson) mentioned outside a BBC4 history programme, and as they recount Egil’s feat of splitting the skull, with an axe, of a fielder who held the catch, I was wondering if the OBOccasionals would take a look at it? I always wanted to join them but circumstances don’t allow.”
1st over: England 5-0 (Vince 4, Bairstow 0) The first ball is a battle of the rusty titans – James Vince, recalled from a spell in the wilderness, facing Bhuvneshwar Kumar, returning from injury. Kumar serves up a loosener on a silver salver and Vince slaps it for four past cover. He’s such a talent, and it was such a bad idea to make him England’s No 3 for the Ashes.
A couple more contenders.“Kenny G does James Blunt,” says Henry Scowcroft. “Yes really. I’m so terribly, terribly sorry.” So sorry, in fact, that he sends the email twice, just to make sure. And finally, one from Scott Probst: “This is peculiar to Australia, but if you haven’t see Pseudo Echo covering Funky Town ... don’t!”
Just when I’m thinking, is anyone intrigued by this cricket match or is it just me, here’s Andrew Benton. “Thinking of covers, what’s the longest time they’ve not come on in international games during a season in England? It’s been pretty dry recently, any new records set?” Good question. The summer of ’76 was pretty Saharan.
The criminal covers just keep on coming. “Sorry if I’m late on this,” says Peter Salmon, “but given it’s a run chase in a day-nighter, can’t go past a bit of Celine Dion and Anastacia keeping it real with You Shook Me All Night Long.”
“William Shatner,” argues Julien Lesage, “is the master of the downright weird cover. Here’s his version of Rocket Man. Once seen, never forgotten.”
A question from Smylers. “Dawid Malan was released from the England squad for this match, meaning he still hasn’t played in an ODI. He has played in both test matches and 20-over games for England. Are any other cricketers in the curious position of having represented England in the longest and shortest forms of the game, but not the one in between?”
Afternoon everyone and thanks to Daniel, who has set a daunting the standard with those awful cover versions. Intriguing scenario we’ve got here. England bowled well, especially the new-ball pair and Adil Rashid (get him in the Test team, Ed). And MS Dhoni again batted like a beginner, not the wily old pro he is.
That said, 256 is no disaster for India, whose demon wristies, Kuldeep and Chahal, could be even more lethal than Rashid on a tricky, turning track. England’s top order, usually so settled, is missing two of its biffers, Roy and Hales. My hunch is that England will either cruise to victory or collapse in a heap. What do you reckon?
While you wait:
Related: Women’s Super League kicks off … before all six teams are kicked out | Tanya Aldred
It’s also fair to say that Wood and Willey were excellent too. And England, though they don’t have Kohli, bat far deeper than India, rarely cleared out for fewer than they need to win this. Anyway, that’s me – Tim de Lisle will be here presently to call them hame.
They’d’ve took that at the start, as Ryan Giggs would say, but will be wary of a track that, while not a ranging bunsen, allowed Ali and Rashid to bowl so well.
Bhuvi sets himself outside the crease, swings hard, and Bairstow takes the catch running around the fence from midwicket.
50th over: India 256-7 (Kumar 21, Thakur 22) Willey with the ball; Thakur goes down the ground first up and the batsmen collide as they sprint a single, then four more singles follow. This is a good over, everything the last wasn’t.
49th over: India 251-7 (Kumar 19, Thakur 20) There’ve only been three boundaries in the last 11 overs, which is a brilliant effort from England, who bring Ben Stokes back here. His run out of Dhawan changed the flow of this innings, but look at that! He goes length and slower, but it’s straight and Thakur picks it up beautifully, taking six over square leg. So Thakur goes again, this tie to long on, and Plunkett’s there, diving full-length to hold screamer ... except he’s got to toss it back because he’s headed over the fence. Still, he’s saved four because they run two, great work, and a bumper dot comes next. Thakur then forces into his pads and feet, scrambling two more in the process, and then look at that! Stokes bangs in, Shardul swivels hard, takes the ball with him, and that’s six more! This has not gone well for Stokes, who’s doubtless relieved when its final delivery yields just a leg bye, and with 17 coming there, India now have a sniff.
48th over: India 234-7 (Kumar 19, Thakur 2) Nice from Kumar, who steps to off and plays a lovely ramp for four. Two more follow, flipped to leg and sprinted, then three singles. Even if India managed 36 off each of the final two overs, England would fancy their chances of winning here.
47th over: India 224-7 (Kumar 11, Thakur 1) Wood will fancy himself to clean this up and goes through his tricksm, boomp-ah, boomp-ah, slow-ah ball. He finishes with 1-30 from his allocation, a fine performance - he set the tone with the new Mercury.
46th over: India 222-7 (Kumar 9, Thakur 1) Thakur plays to leg, they run like billy-o, and Willey misses with his shy.
This is a very nice ball, slanted across to Dhoni who can’t decide what to do with it, eventually playing the late cut because there’s no other options and guiding it to the keeper! India are in all sorts here!
46th over: India 221-6 (Dhoni 43, Kumar 9) They’re going. Dhoni gets a single, then Bhuvi flays but can only slice to long on, picking out the man, and they run one. Another single apiece, and then...
“Check this out,” emails Ravi Raman. “Or as I call it ‘how to pull off murder on an unsuspecting audience.’ (Despite what it says in the title it’s not from India but Pakistan).”
45th over: India 217-6 (Dhoni 41, Kumar 7) Dhoni cuts Wood, but Stokes is on the 45 and a dive saves four. a leg bye follows, then Kumar golf-swings at one and gets most of it, but picks out the sweeper at cover and they add just one. Even if India get 10 an over from here, England will fancy themselves strongly in the chase.
44th over: India 212-6 (Dhoni 37, Kumar 7) Single to Kumar, forced off his hip, and then Dhoni pulls four to backward square. One more follows, and we’re getting to a point; we might just be there now.
“Consider yourself furnished,” tweets J Peterman. I’m sure they’ve got some clue this is awful - it’s the obliviousness that’s so awesome in the Liam and Killers one. But yes, this is very very bad.
43rd over: India 208-6 (Dhoni 34, Kumar 6) Kumar gets off strike second ball but still Dhoni doesn’t go - in commentary, Sangakkara reckons he needs to be there til the 45th or 46th before he gets going properly. Still, when Wood gives him one to go at, a crap bouncer basically, he fetches it from outside off to pull for four and then whacks two into the covers.
“You did ask,” says Wayne Stubbs. ‘David Bowie’s “Starman” covered by the Krankies.”
42nd over: India 201-6 (Dhoni 28, Kumar 5) Stokes has Dhoni at the non-strikers but Bhuvi isn’t looking to hit out, mustering just a single from the first three balls. Stokes then tries to tempt Dhoni with a wide one ... Dhoni leaves it and it’s called wide, which looks harsh ... it’s right on the line. Another dot follows, and India are petering out here. Bhuvi will be on strike at the start of the next over.
“Paul Young doing Joy Division,” emails Roger Kay. “I mean come on.”
41st over: India 199-6 (Dhoni 28, Kumar 4) India are struggling to get anything going here, the run rate dropping to 4.87 - which they’d have been glad of in this over, taking just three singles from it.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Maybe that’s why Liam kept his coat on.
40th over: India 196-6 (Dhoni 27, Kumar 2) Morgan brings back Stokes who immediately incites an edge, but the ball doesn’t carry to Root at slip. Anyway, yesterday I think I heard the worst cover version ever - unless you can furnish me with a worse one.
39th over: India 195-6 (Dhoni 27, Kumar 1) It’s all on Dhoni now, who needs to be there at the end or close to it, problem being that India also need proper runs. Bhuvi gets off the mark straight away, but Wood then responds with three dots, the last of them a beaut outside off.
Wood has bowled well today and this is a fine ball, short, quick and nicked.
38th over: India 194-5 (Dhoni 27, Pandya 21) Wood returns and Pandya takes him off the toes for two.
37th over: India 192-5 (Dhoni 27, Pandya 19) Moeen now comes in for the final time, as Bumble wonders if Root will get a twirl. Harbhajan reckons 275 might be enough for India, but they won’t want to settle for that and will be pleased to see the back of Moeen, whose last over yields just two.
36th over: India 190-5 (Dhoni 26, Pandya 18) In comes Rashid for the final over of a fine spell and after three come from the first three balls, Pandya chucks everything at a googly, almost dragging on but getting two to fine leg. So the next ball is tossed up and Pandya goes again, reading the leg spinner and getting all of it ... but only just missing Plunkett, diving at wide long off. Still, it adds four valuable runs - can India go on from here? - and Rashid has 3-49 from his ten.
35th over: India 181-5 (Dhoni 25, Pandya 10) There’s enough in this pitch to worry England, particularly against Kuldeep, but India need more runs for him to play with. They get five from this over - three singles and a leg-bye two - which will keep England happy.
35th over: India 176-5 (Dhoni 23, Pandya 9) Another good over from Rashid yielding just three singles. Who are India going to target?
Kohli can't believe it! An incredible delivery @AdilRashid03!
Scorecard/Videos: https://t.co/6lGth6g8Vi#ENGvINDpic.twitter.com/XKzQMzzZSH
34th over: India 173-5 (Dhoni 21, Pandya 8) An over that’ll please both sides. India force five, but can’t find a boundary, and at what point do they start going after it? They won’t want to rely on 280 or so, but if they start whacking now, might find themselves struggling for 250. Drinks.
33rd over: India 168-5 (Dhoni 19, Pandya 5) England will be wanting to rush through a few overs before India gather themselves, but the batsmen manage a single each before Pandya almost drags on but instead sends an under-edge to the fence, a split-second before Stokes careers into the rope. The current run rate is 5.09.
32nd over: India 162-5 (Dhoni 18, Pandya 0) Dhoni eases the pressure with a slap through wide mid off - India needed that.
Huge review for India.
It’s a procession! But Dhoni reviews ...
Might this be the over that settles the series? Rahid tosses up again and Raina turns off his pads as though doing so deliberately, feeding the man stationed at leg slip for precisely such eventuality. England are right on top now!
31st over: India 158-4 (Dhoni 14, Raina 1) Are India in trouble now? They’ll want double what they’ve got now, but it’s hard to see how they’re getting them...
31st over: India 156-4 (Dhoni 13) Ey oop. There’s a long pause, not because Pinter wrote this, not even while we all gather ourselves, but to check that Buttler didn’t remove the bails with his glove before the ball did. He did not.
HAVE A LOOK! MAGIC BALL FROM RASHID PITCHES ON LEG, GRIPS, TURNS, AND TAKES OUT OFF! KOHLI HAS A FACE ON! HOW DARE YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!
30th over: India 156-3 (Kohli 71, Dhoni 13) Dhoni comes down the track and swipes, picking out midwicket. So next ball he tries again, stretching down the track and sweeping four; he’s decided to go. A single then brings Kohli onto strike and and he steps back and away to smack Ali for four through point; lovely shot. Ten from the over, and India are doing ok, but only til they lose another wicket.
29th over: India 146-3 (Kohli 65, Dhoni 7) I imagine we’ll be seeing Plunkett soon, but in the meantime England’s, er, spin twins, are doing well enough. Just two singles come from this Rashid over and I guess the problem for India is that they need to up it but won’t want to lose any wickets at this point.
28th over: India 144-3 (Kohli 65, Dhoni 7) This is a good from Moeen, Kohli adding one and Dhoni forcing two away through point, the only runs of the over.
27th over: India 142-3 (Kohli 64, Dhoni 5) Rashid starts his fifth over with a short long-hop, so Kohli steps away and snaps it with his wrists for four at fine leg. The remaining five balls are milked for ones, and with the rate at 6.00, India are well-set for an assault.
26th over: India 132-3 (Kohli 57, Dhoni 4) Moeen returns - Dhoni struggled to get after him at Lord’s - and again, the scoring has slowed. These two will be wanting to bat most of what’s left - of course they will, they’re batsmen so won’t want to be out - Pulitzer please - but they know that there’s not much behind them. Four from the over.
25th over: India 128-3 (Kohli 55, Dhoni 2) Dhoni cuts for one to get going right away, Kohli shoves another to third man, and then Dhoni rushes through after nudging to mid on.
Rashid tosses up outside off and Karthik’s eyes light up. He goes to pound through the covers but gets lazy with his footwork so when he edges there’s a wide open gate through which the ball scuttles. He’ll be furious with himself for giving away good touch like that.
24th over: India 124-2 (Kohli 53, Karthik 21) Kohli is just so controlled. After a single to each batter he prances backwards and plays a cut so late it was almost posthumous, as John Arlott would say, earning four and his fifty. Then, following a single, Karthik whips four more to midwicket; every time it looks like England have a lid on things, India base them with an over like this.
23rd over: India 113-2 (Kohli 47, Karthik 16) This is a good over from Rashid despite the inclusion of a wide - two singles are the only other runs - and Karthik almost pulls one onto his stumps, miscueing a drive.
“I am looking to move to Birmingham soon and have been having a trial run,” emails Ian Copestake. “I went to the T20 slogfest on Sunday and am still not sure what I thought about it. None of the players seemed excited (even Collingwood) and of course it was all very American with noise and adverts and such. I am hoping the County game remains in existence so I can purchase (or hire/borrow) a dog and sit and read undisturbed while something goes on out in the middle.”
22nd over: India 110-2 (Kohli 46, Karthik 15) Karthik fancies this, up on his tippy-toes and rocking back to crack two to deep point. Next comes a single to third man, and Kohli then waits to dab four through the same area; beautifully done. He’s in such perfect control here, one of very few batsmen who intimidate with their presence.
21st over: India 103-2 (Kohli 42, Karthik 12) Jos Buttler is kicking out a leg every time someone plays a cut, either to stop the ball or flick up an edge to catch - innovation meets reaction. Another quiet over, three singles coming from it, and England will be happier with this little passage. Kohli, though, is looking in fair touch.
20th over: India 100-2 (Kohli 41, Karthik 10) And Eoin Morgan agrees, replacing Moeen with Plunkett who, we’re told, might find it easier to generate pace running up the hill instead of coasting down it. And this is a better over for England, yielding just two singles.
19th over: India 98-2 (Kohli 40, Karthik 9) Rashid into the attack as, in commentary, they ponder how batting with Kohli makes a person anticipate crazy-quick singles. But Dhawan was slow to react there, taking an extra stride after being told no, so there you go. Anyway, this is a good over for India, three singles, a two, and then Karthik stretches out to the pitch of the final delivery, cracking four through extra cover. There was just a little bit of width there, and Harbhajan advises that England bowl straight and bring on a quick from one end.
18th over: India 89-2 (Kohli 36, Karthik 4) Karthik, Kohli’s tactical change, opens the face to glide four fine to third man.
Ben Expletive Stokes! Kohli twizzles to midwicket but signals to Dhawan that he should stay. Problem being, yerman is already halfway down the track, so Stokes collects, leaps, turns, and flings down middle stump! He is ridiculous! The umpires go upstairs, and the replay reveals Dhawan was just short.
18th over: India 84-1 (Dhawan 44, Kohli 35) on the other hand, England could be in a far worse spot, had Dhawan’s thumping drives picked out fielders less often. Moeen continues and has a slip to Dhawan - your guess is as good as mine - and and and AND AND AND AND
17th over: India 82-1 (Dhawan 43, Kohli 34) Punishment is a dish best served immediately. Kohli reaches for one outside off to clump through midwicket, then ramps four more. A single follows, then Vince dives brilliantly at point to save three when Dhawan clambers into a drive; Stokes isn’t doing much here. England’s decent start is no longer a decent start, and that’s drinks.
16th over: India 71-1 (Dhawan 42, Kohli 24) It’s all very well playing an opponent with a dodgy middle-order, but you’ve got to get at it first. Dhawan and Kohli look in no trouble here ... though what’s this! Kohli might have edged one that Buttler can’t hold ... or was it bat into ground? It’s the former! Never mind, it’s just the greatest one-day batsman in history - take the positives.
15th over: India 67-1 (Dhawan 40, Kohli 22) Eoin Morgan wants a wicket - on comes Ben Stokes. Kohli forces a single to deep point, then Dhawan raises the fifty partnership by flipping four off his pads over midwicket. He looks in decent touch here, but the over yields just a wide and a single more.
14th over: India 60-1 (Dhawan 35, Kohli 21) On comes Moeen and Kohli takes one to third man, then Dhawan imparts a leading edge - there’s a bit of turn there, so the ball isn’t coming right onto the bat; England will enjoy facing Kuldeep, in other words. The over yields five singles, and India are, ever so gently - gentlily - turning it up.
13th over: India 55-1 (Dhawan 33, Kohli 18) In fairness to India, they’re getting bat to ball some of the time but picking out the fielders, and here they come ... a single and two wides come from the first four balls of the over, then Plunkett serves Dhawan a leg-side half-volley which is flicks for four to midwicket. So Plunkett pitches it up to bring him forward ... and forward he comes, stretching and reaching to drive four through extra cover, then again! Excellent from yerman, less so from yer other man.
12th over: India 40-1 (Dhawan 21, Kohli 17) Willey hangs on for his sixth over and after two dots, Dhawan shoves to off and fancies a single; Kohli does not. Guess what they decide to do? Two from the over, and India will be having a little think to their little selves - this is excellent from England.
11th over: India 38-1 (Dhawan 20, Kohli 16) Plunkett comes on for the second powerplay and Dhawan opens the face to drive hard, Vince diving well at extra cover. But after a dot there’s nothing Vince can do when Dhawan waits and opens the face a little more to powerglide four a little squarer.
“In these divisive and confusing times simplicity is needed,” reckons Ian Copestake. “Brexit may unhelpfully mean Brexit, but a ball is a ball is a ball.”
10th over: India 33-1 (Dhawan 15, Kohli 15) Kohli has seen enough, chipping over mid on ... just, for four. Two singles follow, the second, to Dhawan, thanks to a great dive from Billings, on as sub. Kohli then runs another one down to third man, and England are well on top at the end of the first powerplay.
9th over: India 25-1 (Dhawan 14, Kohli 9) This’ll be Wood’s last over, I reckon, and he’s doing much the same as before, cramping room and chucking into the pitch every now and then. I think the time has come with him: he’s never going to be the Test player we hoped he’d be, but is more than useful at this. That said, what’s holding back this England side is the absence of a gun bowler or two to get them out of trouble when the batters don’t quite get enough. Two singles from the over.
8th over: India 23-1 (Dhawan 13, Kohli 8) Kohli is calm, so won’t be fazed by this start, but India will soon have a problem, all the more so if they lose a wicket because they’re getting nothing at the moment. With just one scored from the first five balls of the over, Dhawan starts running when Kohli inside-edges one - he’s sent back and forced to dive, making it, just, though a direct hit would’ve seen him away.
“Sylvester Clarke in the Hard Cases XI,” tweets Simon Rhodes. “Terrifying bowler, mighty drinker and robust crowd control practitioner.”
7th over: India 22-1 (Dhawan 12, Kohli 8) Another decent over from Wood. The batsmen take a single each before, from its final delivery, Kohli twists two to midwicket.
“Good afternoon from West Yorkshire,” begins John Starbuck, “where there’s a lot of cloud and some moisture in the air, but still warm enough for me to have the fan on. The wind is westerly and gusting strongly at times, which may influence the bowling. As for ball synonyms, you can have the nugget and the pill, often used in the past, plus my Roget offers projectile, missile, globe, taw (from marbles), bullet, spherule, onion, pellet etc.”
6th over: India 18-1 (Dhawan 11, Kohli 5) And here he is, reaching and waiting for a wide one to edge four through point. The single he drives to mid off next ball is a far superior shot.
This is now a great start for England! They’ve strangled India in the early stages, forcing Rohit to try something, but like the joker he can’t get no release. His flick to square leg goes straight to the man, and the catch is as easy as you’re getting. That’s the good news for the hosts; the bad news is that Kohli is now in the middle.
5th over: India 12-0 (Sharma 2, Dhawan 10) Rohit tries forcing one away through cover point but it’s stopped easily enough and it’s the most attacking shot of another maiden over.
4th over: India 12-0 (Sharma 2, Dhawan 10) Rohit takes one to midwicket but then is diddled by a belter, seaming away as he presses forward. Four dots follow, and this is now a pretty useful start from England, though without a wicket to cement it as such.
3rd over: India 11-0 (Sharma 1, Dhawan 10) Wood tempts Dhawan with a smidge of width but on a perfect length for him, so he waits, leans, and creams it through extra cover for four. Delicious. And three balls later, four more, a short delivery helped around the corner and rightly so.
2nd over: India 3-0 (Sharma 1, Dhawan 2) Willey bustles in down the hill and Dhawan plays at his first delivery, the ball rolling back and just past the stumps. Then, Dhawan plays forward and Willey shies for no reason, the ensuing overthrow getting India off the mark. I’m just wondering if Willey’s da, Peter - one of cricket’s most famously hard cases - was so because of the obvious reason. You’d have to be wouldn’t you? How else were you surviving the playground? And who else would be in your Hard Cases XI?
1st over: India 0-0 (Sharma 0, Dhawan 0) Swing first up for Wood, and also some movement off the seam which takes his fifth ball past the outside edge. The sixth does same too, making for a decent start for England. Maiden.
Mark Wood has the new cherry, which is also a rock. I think we need a new word for that - send in your suggestions.
Here come the batsmen!
Harbhajan is surprised at the changes India have made, but would like to see Dhoni bat four which may now be the case. We then see a graphic showing us that Kohli, Dhawan and Rohit have made nearly 50 percent of India’s runs over the las bit - not sustainable, reckons Ian Ward, though Nasser notes that if you’ve got those three in your top three, what do you think’s going to happen?
“England need Moeen Ali to be totally reliable with the bat today, as well as the ball,” reckons Andrew Benton. “He can make a huge difference if he bats for the team.”
Yes, he is perhaps the biggest “that’s the way I play culprit”. Every match and every situation is different, and it’s not negative to pay attention to that.
“Two candidates for your XI: MA Atherton nicking off (b. McGrath); PCR Tufnell (b. anyone medium pace or above) backing away to square leg?”
And the “daddy” of them all: Gooch lbw b Alderman. Possibly apocryphally, he even changed his ansafone message to “I’m out. Probably lbw to Terry Alderman”.
“Predictable dismissals,” begins Chris Moore.“Anybody at the opposite end to Inzamam…”
You’re telling him.
“If England’s confidence grew through the 2005 ODIs (which they lost) it was because almost the same team played both formats,” emails Jen Oram.“These days, the confidence of Morgan’s team too often shows up the comparative lack of it in Root’s. Sure, the Test team could win, but if they do it won’t be because the ODI team did.”
Of course there’s work to do whatever happens here, but in 2005 the T20 was important and England won the tri-series. But tangentially, I’ve been sure for a while that the ODI side would have a pretty decent shy at beating the Test side in a Test. I can’t believe that Roy, Morgan, Hales, Rashid and Plunkett would’ve done much worse than the various selected ahead of them. Still, at least Buttler is back now.
Ch ch ch changes for India. KL Rahul is replaced by Karthik - a tactical change to try and reinforce a failing middle-order - while Bhuvi Kumar and Shardul Thakur replace Sid Kaul and Umesh Yadav because they’ve not had a game yet. That’s an interesting move - handing out caps in a decider – and one that reminds me of Alex Ferguson. Tell your players you trust them, tell the opposition you’re better than them. I love Kohli’s attitude.
Eoin Morgan is looking forward to the challenge and says that Vince has been in fantastic form, especially in the Royal London Cup. Virat Kohli says India would’ve batted and a dry wicket looks likely to break up for the spinners.
And now Dawid Malan has gone for 74. The Test series will be huge for him, because he needs to prove that Australia wasn’t a one-off.
At Worcester, Alastair Cook has just been bowled by Ankit Rajpoot for 180. Presumably he doesn’t still fancy himself for the one-day side.
Jason Roy’s injured finger keeps him out today, and with Alex Hales already hurt, James Vince will play some gorgeous drives before the inevitable inevitables. Aside from him, Shane Watson and David Gower, who else would make the predictable dismissals XI?
Context. One of cricket’s favourite words and usually conspicuous by its absence, but not today. England need to prove that they can win when it matters, to themselves as much as anyone. In last summer’s Champions Trophy they folded as soon as it got on top, frazzled minds left citing the “that’s how we play” defence; now, with the World Cup on the horizon, it’s time to embrace the pressure and in so doing, put India under it. Because India will be expecting to win the competition, and for them this is a chance to assert – or reassert – status.
Remember 2005? Thought not, so a quick refresher: England played Australia at cricket. You’re welcome.
But why is that relevant to us today? Well, that summer was noteworthy because the limited overs gear preceded the Tests, and to spectacular effect. In particular, it gave us an England side that believed they could do it and a Kevin Pietersen who knew he could do it, but more than that, instead of a raft of disposable entertainment which filled a gap after the main work was over, it gave us exciting cricket that got us going, part of the whole body of joy not an addendum to it.
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