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20th over: New Zealand 87-4 (Latham 11, Neesham 9), target 306. Root’s tidier than Rashid so far, and concedes only three singles from his second over.
“Best way to keep the kids occupied is to ask them to restructure a cricket scorebook into a third normal form database design,” advises Adam Dawson, for which thanks. I’d offer even more thanks if I knew what you were on about, mind.
19th over: New Zealand 84-4 (Latham 10, Neesham 7), target 306. We have spin at both ends now, as Rashid replaces Plunkett. His radar is a little bit awry initially and he yields nine runs, including an easy cut for four from Latham off a pretty ropey long-hop outside off.
“I knew Williamson and Taylor were renowned for their likelihood of run-outs when batting together, but this brings it to a whole new level!” yelps Jack Jorgensen. “I must admit that type of dismissal always leaves a very hollow feeling. Amplified in this case by it being Williamson (and NZs chances) that has to go.” They started this tournament so well, but they’ve looked a more timid side as it’s gone on, and Pakistan must be kicking themselves for starting so poorly.
18th over: New Zealand 75-4 (Latham 5, Neesham 3), target 306. Spin for the first time, not Rashid but Root, who gets to twirl at the two new left-handers. They milk him for some ones and a two.
17th over: New Zealand 70-4 (Latham 2, Neesham 1), target 306. New Zealand are the authors of their own misfortune here, as Taylor is run out coming back for a second after a glance to fine leg, though it’s a fine throw from Rashid. And only two from the over. England now, officially, on top. We might even want to tell our cricket-agnostic relatives that England are “winning”. Though we might want to hedge our bets.
New Zealand are of course still well placed to qualify, assuming they don’t lose their last seven for about 20 now. And it being incumbent on Pakistan to absolutely pulverise Bangladesh on Friday, which, given Bangladesh’s properly competitive performances throughout the tournament, seems unlikely. But even if that one at Lord’s on Friday is a dead rubber, it’ll still be worth watching, and those MCC members inclined to swerve it might want to have a long, hard word with themselves. Or at least give their tickets to those that aren’t.
Has Taylor paid the price for a foolish return run here? He has. There was never really a second run there and Rashid’s return throw to Buttler, is easily converted by the keeper. New Zealand in bother now.
16th over: New Zealand 68-3 (Taylor 27, Latham 2), target 306. Calamitous misfortune for New Zealand, as Taylor’s straight drive is very lightly deflected onto the stumps by Wood’s fingertips, leaving Williamson at the non-striker’s end out of his ground. Wood celebrates with some sort of baby’s-dummy mime (not a patch on his rocking horse capers, for my money). Taylor is then given the hurry-up straight away with a jaffa past his outside edge but responds with a well placed and executed pull in front of square that the fielder can only fumble into the ropes. He the man now, with the new batsman in, Latham, currently out of sorts. Though he gets off the mark with a confident shot for two.
Has Wood deflected the ball onto the stumps to run out Williamson here? HE HAS! We need ultra-edge to determine it though, as the batsman is out of his ground after Taylor drove hard at the bowler who thinks he may have edged it onto the stumps. A lengthy examination determines that Wood got a fingertip to it, and England have a vital dismissal, and another fortunate one.
15th over: New Zealand 61-2 (Williamson 27, Taylor 22), target 306. Five from Plunkett’s latest over, as this pair continue to look unruffled. “I think England may have missed a trick here,” reckons Stephen Cottrell. “I think Rashid could have got through 4 overs for virtually nothing in overs 10-18. If Kane and Taylor stay together they can milk him and maybe even look to target him a bit later in the innings. Here comes the fear, hot on the heels of his old mate Hope.” How come Fear comes out for a pint so much more often than Hope, who’s always working late? All of which has given me both a pessimistic earworm, and a more hopeful one?
14th over: New Zealand 56-2 (Williamson 26, Taylor 19), target 306. Wood’s finding some decent pace in the circs and hurries Williamson up with a short one that the batsman has to glove away awkwardly. A well-run two is followed by the least convincing run-out appeal ever from Morgan as the ball is hurled into the stumps with the batsman several yards home. We’re heading for middle-overs-meander territory at the moment. Who’s winning? Nope, still not getting anything …
13th over: New Zealand 51-2 (Williamson 25, Taylor 15), target 306. Plunkett gives Williamson enough room to cut for one, and they take another following a fumble by Morgan at point. Four singles from the over, which New Zealand will be happy enough with at this juncture.
“Family uninterested in cricket? Pah” snorts Julian Menz. “Try living in Sweden. Sat in the garden with the family, OBO and TMS on the go. Every time a cheer goes up, my daughter asks if England have scored, the father-in- law asks if it’s still the same game that started hours ago, and my wife glares at me for disturbing the otherwise bucolic peace.” Still, you’ve got a vaguely functioning government over there, so that’s something.
12th over: New Zealand 47-2 (Williamson 23, Taylor 13), target 306. Big cheers go up as Durham’s own Mark Wood is introduced in place of Archer, though none greet his first ball, which is an ugly wide down leg. The paceman then has a strangled lbw appeal at one speared into Taylor’s pads but it’s going down the legside. Williamson seeing it like a football and takes advantage of the pace to cut for four off the back foot. Apart from the wide, it’s not a bad over, but this pair look pretty set already. They’ve added 33.
11th over: New Zealand 40-2 (Williamson 18, Taylor 13), target 306. Plunkett, the master of the middle overs, gets his first bowl, replacing Woakes. He yields three singles, but generally does his job well, stemming the flow a little.
“Just saw Tom Levesley’s bit on his kids renaming cricket positions,” emails Kanishk Srinivasan. “Surely cow corner must have given them a real laugh? Anyone up for signing a petition to rename it hamburger pocket?” Another thing that might help is turning kids’ fascination with numbers – particularly big numbers – into an inculcation into the joys of staring at a cricket scoreboard. Figures all over the shop.
10th over: New Zealand 37-2 (Williamson 17, Taylor 11), target 306. Rashid saves at least two run with a fine diving stop from Taylor’s flick to square leg, but no one can stop the next one, beautifully driven through the covers for four by Taylor. That’s what this pair can do with even a smidgeon of width. They’re running the singles well too. Archer’s getting more pace off this pitch than anyone else has today but maybe time for a wee rest? New Zealand end the first powerplay in slightly healthier nick than they might have imagined 10 minutes ago.
9th over: New Zealand 28-2 (Williamson 16, Taylor 3), target 306. Taylor hesitantly dollies up a slower ball from Woakes that doesn’t fall too far from the bowlers’ grasp as he attempts the return catch. Taylor then adds a single before Williamson creams a cover drive to the boundary and adds a clipped two for good measure. ENGLAND NEED TO GET HIM OUT ALREADY.
“In response to David Lombard I would suggest a recourse to metaphysics,” writes David Lombard, optimistically. “It is the only way: Winning and losing should be thought of as an antagonistic duality that, like the fight between good and evil, must be overcome through achieving emptiness in the sense of recognizing them as not being reality but two opposing principles that might (albeit rarely in ODI) end up perfectly balanced in a state of infinite tension. This is sure to separate the cricket fan from the rest.”
8th over: New Zealand 21-2 (Williamson 10, Taylor 2), target 306. Taylor hooks and misses at a steepling lifter from Archer, which feels like a statement of intent from both bowler and batsman, but bowler’s winning this duel at the moment, conceding only one from the over.
To dampen English optimism, can I just say that Williamson and Taylor being together in an NZ 300+ run-chase is bringing back memories of being up in the middle of the night 16 months ago OBO-ing this one.
7th over: New Zealand 20-2 (Williamson 10, Taylor 1), target 306. More parsimonious excellence from Woakes until Williamson deflects a full-ish ball between the keeper and the very wide solitary slip, Joe Root. Definitely deliberate, and excellent.
“Like David Lombard I’ve got a family totally uninterested in cricket,” says Tom Levesley, channeling my life, “but I’ve managed to engage my 9 and 11 year-olds by playing true or false for cricket positions. They still don’t believe me that backward point is a position and silly mid anything is always funny. They’ve even started inventing their own – deep fried square leg a constant favourite. As for who’s winning the cricket, they don’t really want to know so contempt is the only fair response.”
6th over: New Zealand 16-2 (Williamson 6, Taylor 1), target 306. Archer gets in on the act, taking Guptill’s wicket courtesy of Buttler’s superb left-handed catch, which brings Taylor to the crease. “The old firm are back together again,” trills Ian Smith in the commentary box, “Celtic and Rangers, Liverpool and Everton, Exeter and Argyle,” an analogy that only really works if Williamson and Taylor really, really hate each other and are consumed by conspiratorial thinking about the other’s antics. Three singles and a wicket from another fine Archer over.
A magnificent catch! Guptill gloves down the legside and Buttler springs athletically to his left for a brilliant take low-down. As good a catch as a keeper has made in this tournament.
5th over: New Zealand 13-1 (Guptill 8, Williamson 4), target 306. England’s pressure forces Guptill into a foolhardy single off Woakes but Plunkett isn’t quite on it and at the stumps quick enough for the run-out. Guptill finds his groove with a lovely straight drive for four. A better over for the Black Caps.
“In response to David Lombard (over 2) the CricViz app is great,” tweets BW Campbell, “and has a handy ‘who’s winning’ on the front page. Yours, following from Glasgow while my lovely wife and father are in Chester-le-Street. Not bitter...” Personally I like the enigmatic mystery of not being able to forensically prove who’s winning, and just speculating.
4th over: New Zealand 7-1 (Guptill 3, Williamson 3), target 306. An excellent maiden from Archer, mostly pitched up at Williamson and denying him room, and when he does drop short it’s a proper snorter, width-less and forcing the New Zealand captain to jerk out of the way. England have started well – they’ve got lucky with the Nicholls dismissal, but they’re doing what they have to do. So far.
3rd over: New Zealand 7-1 (Guptill 3, Williamson 3), target 306. Williamson has scored more than 32% of his team’s runs in this World Cup – the man’s a machine – and he does his best to up that even more with a neat push through the covers for three. England are apparently 1-5 to win at the moment, according to an email I’ve just had from Bookmakers.tv, also tempting fate, and also forgetting that England last made a semi-final when John Major was still prime minister.
2nd over: New Zealand 4-1 (Guptill 3, Williamson 0), target 306. Ooh, TV replays suggest Nicholls’ dismissal was wrong. It was too high – that’s a really poor failure to review, and not great umpiring. Meanwhile, Archer works up enough pace to whistle some chin music past Guptill, who’s watchful. He gets two off the last ball of the over, which is its only scoring stroke.
“Afternoon, Tom.” Afternoon David Lombard. “As the only cricket lover in my house (I’m working on my 5-year old grandson but am not that hopeful - he seems infinitely more interested in Lightning McQueen), can anyone offer me advice on how to answer the question that I’m often asked by other members of my family “Who’s winning the cricket match?” Or the variation I regularly get from my son “Whose winning the cricket? Answer in no more than one sentence please.
“Do I lie and randomly name one of the protagonists, knowing that the questioner is merely being polite and has no interest in the answer? Or, being in possession of a teaching gene, do I attempt to educate the questioner as to the intricacies and permutations of the situation, knowing that none of it will stick and I’ll be asked the same question tomorrow?”
1st over: New Zealand 2-1 (Guptill 1, Williamson 0), target 306. Woakes began with three maidens on Sunday, so unsurprisingly gets first use here and though there’s no introductory maiden this time though – a wide down Guptill’s legside and a well-run single putting paid to that – there is a wicket, Nicholls lbw first ball. The bad news for England is that Williamson is in, and not out yet.
Woakes strikes in the first over! A back of a length ball raps him quite high on the pads, and somewhat surprisingly, New Zealand decline to review it. As a result, Nicholls is out for a golden duck.
The players are trotting back out …
“So a lot of England batsmen were out driving,” observes Robin Hazlehurst, “and Bairstow says ‘The pitch was a little bit slow and they bowled a lot of cutters into the wicket’, suggesting good length bowling, so perhaps England should bowl the same. Which would require them to pitch the thing up a bit, as everybody has been imploring them to do for years now. What are the odds on it happening today, or will England bowl too short and not threaten enough? I have a sinking feeling we all know the answer to that one already.....”
Woakes, Stokes and Plunkett could be the key men here – it’s gonna be about canny accuracy rather then firing it into their faces. But England haven’t been as guilty of over-reliance on the short stuff as others, for my money.
“So when did squeaky bum time start for this England campaign?” asks Tim Ward. “After Root or Stokes got out in this innings when we didn’t adjust to the bowling; after the loss to Sri Lanka when we looked like we didn’t have a plan B; or in losing the warm up against Australia, when we realised we weren’t as good as we thought we were?” That Australia match was a bit of a silly waste of time, so let’s blame that.
While we’re pondering, and waiting for New Zealand’s innings to start, why not download and start listening to The Spin?
Related: The Women's Ashes, a baseball invasion and Steve Smith's neck – The Spin podcast
Thanks Rob. Afternoon/evening/morning everyone. Now is the worrying time eh, from an England perspective. At one point I thought I’d done a proper Nasser-at-Brisbane-in-2002 in winning the toss and offering Rob first OBO use of the surface, but it all went a little strange, with England becalmed by some accurate bowling and an increasingly sticky surface in the second half of the innings. Is 305 enough? At the start of this tournament, we were mocking the idea that England merely reaching 300 was worthy of plaudits, but this hasn’t been the sort of free-scoring tournament we expected, and the hosts have plenty to bowl at here. New Zealand have neither been set nor scored 300+ at any point in this World Cup, but some of their batsmen (Guptill, Taylor to name two) are ominously due, and Kane Williamson is frequently the hardest batsman in the world to get out. In summary then, I haven’t got a clue. So let’s find out together. Don’t go anywhere.
That’s it from me. Tom Davies will be with you for the New Zealand innings. Please email him at tom.davies@theguardian.com or tweet @TomDaviesE17. Thanks for your company. Bye!
Here’s Jonny Bairstow
“I’m pleased to get a hundred. You want to fire against the best teams in the world. We’ll be looking to implement the things we’ve seen in that first innings when we bowl. We’ll have to adjust a little bit, like they did with the ball. The pitch was a little bit slow and they bowled a lot of cutters into the wicket. [Confident, Jonny?] We’ll see.”
That was some comeback from New Zealand, who made the most of an increasingly awkward pitch. In the last 20 overs, England made 111 for seven.
50th over: England 305-8 (Plunkett 14, Archer 1) England can’t find a boundary in Southee’s final over, but they do scamper six runs. New Zealand need 306 to win and (probably) put England out of the World Cup
Rashid’s cameo of 16 from 12 balls ends when he is cleaned up by an immaculate yorker from Southee. England have three balls remaining.
49th over: England 299-7 (Plunkett 11, Rashid 15) Matt Henry’s final over is a brilliant one for England, who beg, steal and borrow 13 precious runs. Rashid lifts a boundary over extra cover, Plunkett smears another behind square and then top-edges a pull short of deep square leg.
48th over: England 286-7 (Plunkett 4, Rashid 9) Rashid plays one of his unusual shots, driving Boult high over cover for a couple. It went miles in the air yet still feel short of the man running in from the boundary. Later in the over he drives Boult towards long-on, where Southee drops a difficult, low chance. It looked strange that he went with one hand but I think it curved at the last minute. A decent over for England - nine from it - and Boult finishes with 2 for 56.
47th over: England 277-7 (Plunkett 2, Rashid 3) Nasser Hussain makes an excellent point on Sky – Roy, Buttler and Morgan have all been caught mistiming drives off balls that have stuck in the pitch. England’s bowlers will use similar tactics. My instinct is that England will have enough runs, but it’ll be tight - especially if Guptill gets New Zealand off to a flyer against the harder ball. England will be desperate to get rid of him early in the innings.
What a brilliant catch from Mitchell Santner! Morgan check-drove from Henry a cutter towards short extra cover, where Santner changed direction to grab it spectacularly with both hands. Morgan played a sensible innings of 42 from 40 balls, but it might not be enough.
46th over: England 267-6 (Morgan 42, Plunkett 1) Boult, New Zealand’s star man, returns to the attack - but England take him for 13. His first ball is driven over mid-off for four by Morgan, who then pulls confidently round the corner for four more. Those are the first boundaries since the 40th over.
45th over: England 259-6 (Morgan 30, Plunkett 0) This pitch has definitely become more awkward to bat on. Even so, these are worrying times for England. Neesham ends an excellent morning’s work with figures of 10-1-41-2.
Another one gone. Woakes chips Neesham straight to mid-off to end a scruffy innings of four from 11 balls.
44th over: England 254-5 (Morgan 28, Woakes 2) I’m sure England would take 300 now. They are struggling to score four an over, never mind off one ball. But they do, with the aid of a wide, grab five from Santner’s final over. He finishes with figures of 10-0-65-1.
43rd over: England 249-5 (Morgan 26, Woakes 0) Woakes is beaten by consecutive deliveries from the increasingly impressive Neesham, who concedes only one from his ninth over. England’s innings is grinding to a halt. Since Bairstow reached his century they have made 55 for four from 13 overs.
42nd over: England 248-5 (Morgan 24, Woakes 0) “I wonder what the Dutch folk around me on this train to Schiphol make of my constant twitching as I look for the updates on my phone?” says Niall Mcclure. “Obviously, they think I’m an idiot.”
Now England do have a problem. After a laboured innings, full of frustration, Stokes charges down the track and drives Santner straight to Henry at long-on. He made 11 from 27 balls and could not get going at all.
41st over: England 246-4 (Morgan 24, Stokes 10) The relative caution of this partnership suggests England don’t trust their lower order as much as they did a few months ago. Which is fair enough, as most of them have had poor tournaments with the bat.
Stokes, on the charge, slices Neesham over backward point for a couple, with three singles on top of that. England’s run rate is now exactly six per over. New Zealand will fancy this, especially as it is effectively a free chase, with no consequences if they fail.
40th over: England 241-4 (Morgan 23, Stokes 6) Santner comes into the attack, bowling around the wicket to Morgan. He got Morgan for a golden duck on this ground in 2015, caught on the boundary I think. There’s no such intent from Morgan this time, at least not yet, but he does get a sweep away for four to turn a decent over into a good on for England.
“I do wish the score predictor would do one,” says Ian Copestake. It’s like telling Fate what the future is going to be and then acting surprised when your trousers are pulled down around your ankles.”
39th over: England 232-4 (Morgan 16, Stokes 5) Three singles from Neesham’s over. Stokes, in particular, is struggling to time the ball and/or pierce the field. Morgan said that Roy and Bairstow made the pitch look better than it was on Sunday; perhaps the same is true here.
38th over: England 229-4 (Morgan 14, Stokes 4) Southee beats Stokes with consecutive deliveries outside off stump. England are struggling here, as they did at a similar stage of the innings against India. They’ll do well to make 350 now. I think I just heard the first strains of the Jaws theme.
“Oh dear Rob,” says John Withington. “Just as I was about to type about Morgan’s generally negative impact on this batting team, Buttler chips one up to mid-off. I’m trying not to make Morgan responsible for everything but it’s seemed to me for a long time that he has the vampiric ability to suck the life out of an England innings. Routinely coming in and blocking most of his first dozen or so balls he seems singularly unsuited to bat high up in this high tempo batting order. Did the malaise of the previous over lead to Buttler pushing his hands impatiently at that one? Who knows. But with occasional dramatic exceptions I think Morgan has no place in the top six of a team batting so fluently. I said it in each of the previous few games and it feels like it’s the same here. Even in the India win his impact was marked and nearly cost England dear.”
37th over: England 226-4 (Morgan 12, Stokes 3) Boult, who has two overs remaining, is replaced by Neesham. He bowls a maiden to Stokes - yet it should have brought the wicket of Morgan. He was sent back by Stokes, but Santner’s close-range throw missed the stumps. Sheesh, that was close. This is getting very hairy.
“The difference between England’s openers, if they succeed, and the rest, is striking, and means they won’t be beaten if those two give them decent starts, especially with Stokes in such good form and Buttler to come after him,” says Andrew Hurley. “It’s interesting to see the discussion of Root’s strike rate, but isn’t it a non-issue when you think of the strike-rate of NZ’s top 3, Rahul, Australia’s two 3s (Khawaja and Smith are two 3s squeezed into 3 and 4).”
36th over: England 226-4 (Morgan 12, Stokes 3) On further reflection, it was a brilliant delivery from Boult to Buttler, a kind of knuckle ball that kicked from a length to induce the error.
Southee comes on to replace Henry and is hit for consecutive boundaries by Morgan. The first was an unconvincing, gloved pull; the second was a emphatic back cut.
35th over: England 218-4 (Morgan 4, Stokes 3) I assumed it was a slower ball from Boult, simply because Buttler mistimed it so badly, but I’m not sure it was. England are one wicket away from being in a bit of trouble.
“Wotcha Rob,” says Mac Millings. “I can’t remember my first nosebleed, but I do remember my first time on stage. I was 11 years old. Our English teacher had written a play, the plot of which involved a bunch of people stranded on a desert island. He had, wisely, given me a part with only one line, but even that proved too much. We performed in front of the whole school. My heart was beating out of my chest. I was to stand at the front of the stage, point into the distance, and say, ‘Look at that boat!’ Everything’s going to be fine, everything’s going to be fine, everything’s going to be fine, I told myself. And then I stood at the front of the stage, in front of the whole bloody school, pointed off into the distance, and said, ‘Look at that finger!’”
Boult has taken the big wicket! Buttler drove a slower ball towards mid-off, where Williamson moved to the right to take a smart catch. That is a huge moment, and reward for Williamson’s aggressive captaincy.
34th over: England 214-3 (Buttler 11, Morgan 3) New Zealand are hunting another wickets, with their strike bowlers Henry and Boult in the attack. It means that, if England get through this spell, they will have a chance to really punish the change bowlers and the hitherto rusty Southee.Three singles from Henry’s over; he has two more, Boult has three.
“Given the odd nature of Root’s dismissal, I’m wondering how the umpire gave him out,” says Matt Emerson. “Normally for a catch behind it’s on sound or an obvious deflection. Seeing as Root didn’t even feel that he hit it, I’m presuming he didn’t hear a nick either. So that means that the umpire has better hearing even though he’s 22 yards away (not impossible as Root has a helmet on and the fielders went up), or he guessed...”
33rd over: England 211-3 (Buttler 9, Morgan 2) Morgan crunches a Boult yorker down the ground for a single to get off the mark. Later in the over he pulls a single. It’s the hook, rather than the pull, that has been a problem in the last week or so. Boult is surely setting him up for the higher bouncer at some stage.
“My first nosebleed followed my being headbutted by my brother,” says Ian Copestake. “Not as painful, though, as being told to boost my accas.”
32nd over: England 206-3 (Buttler 6, Morgan 0) The new batsman is Eoin Morgan, who is unsurprisingly greeted with a short ball from Henry. He sways out of the way.
“My first nosebleed was in the opening minutes of my first O level exam,” says Kev. “Leaning forward to read the first question on the paper, I found the text obscured by my own freshly spilt blood. I immediately raised my hand in the manner instructed, inviting the invigilator’s response, ‘What is it now boy?’ stage whispered through gritted teeth. Ah, schooldays...”
For the second match in a row, Bairstow falls soon after reaching his century. He launched into a big drive at Henry and dragged the ball back onto the stumps. The first person to shake his hand was Kane Williamson, class act that he is, and Bairstow strolled off to a fine ovation for a superb innings: 106 from 99 balls with 15 fours and a six.
31st over: England 200-2 (Bairstow 100, Buttler 6) Jos Buttler has been promoted to No4, a good move that should allow him a bit of time to get his eye in. That’s what he does - for two balls, and then he drives his third sweetly for four. That’s drinks.
“Hi Rob!” says Kanishk Srinivasan. “As a kid, I had some terrible instances of nosebleeds. It was always a problem when the days were too hot, which was always the case in Calcutta. And for some reason, cricket practice sessions were the best of times for my nose to start bleeding. It came to a point where my parents were surprised when my whites weren’t red from blood after cricket, so they made me start packing one or two extra T-shirts, knowing that I’d need them. Thankfully, my nose finally decided to stop bleeding one day, so I haven’t had to deal with too many instances since I was a kid.”
Root tried to hook the first ball of a new spell from Trent Boult, and Latham took the catch down the leg side. Root reviewed almost instantly – but there was a small spike on Ultra-Edge, so the original decision stands. It was such a faint touch that Root didn’t feel it, and he shakes his head as he leaves the field. He takes England’s only review with him.
Root seems pretty confident he didn’t hit this.
30th over: England 194-1 (Bairstow 100, Root 24) Jonny Bairstow has had quite a week. He hits Southee for two boundaries behind square on the leg side to become the first England player ever to make consecutive World Cup hundreds. It’s also his third in a row against New Zealand, and it’s been an innings of such authority: 95 balls, 14 fours and one six.
“Do you suppose that Root’s struggles with fast run-making is because the other sides have worked him out, and bowled/set fields accordingly?” says John Starbuck. “All teams have had a good chance to analyse the opposition in this tournament so slow scorers will be accommodated accordingly. The better batsmen will adjust in response, while the best batsmen will go their own sweet ways because that’s what they do.”
29th over: England 186-1 (Bairstow 92, Root 24) Root back cuts Neesham for a single, and thus becomes the first England batsman ever to score 500 runs in a single World Cup. The overall record - Sachin Tendulkar’s 673 in 2003 - will probably be broken by somebody in the next 10 days.
“How good is this Kiwi batting line-up?” asks Matt Turland, interrogatively rather than rhetorically. “Like you said, no-one has really hit form so far but I’m worried that it’s all going to click. Guptill to score a rapid 70-80 before Williamson comes in with Taylor to smite the ball to all corners of the field.”
28th over: England 182-1 (Bairstow 90, Root 22) Well, there’s a bit of thwacking. Bairstow blasts Southee back over his head for the first six of the match.
“11.7 million people watched the England women’s football last night,” says Tom Carver. “I offer that as a statement of fact, not as a rebuke to the ECB.”
27th over: England 173-1 (Bairstow 83, Root 20) I suspect Jos Buttler will come in at the fall of the next wicket, unless it’s in the next couple of overs. A quick single brings up a good fifty partnership, which has been built on running rather than thwacking. There have been only four boundaries since Roy was dismissed.
“Cheers from USA Rob!” says John Bonn. “I grew up playing and following baseball but somehow, in my sixties, I started following the travails of English cricket through your coverage. I’m convinced I have the “cricket mentality” although I can only behold it from afar. Give ‘em hell England!”
Nosebleed stops play There’s an extended break in play while Joe Root receives treatment for what looks like a nosebleed. He’s okay to continue.
You never forget your firs nosebleed, do you? Mine was on the first morning of this Test, and I would love to know why I remember something quite so pointless.
26th over: England 168-1 (Bairstow 80, Root 19) Root is dropped by Latham off Santner, although it was a tough chance from a pretty big deflection. Bairstow also has an escape later in the over, flashing at a ball that keeps a bit low and skids just past off stump. That was a really good over from Santner - yet England still scampered seven from it.
“After a 38-hour trip from Cornwall to Brisbane, I’m currently fighting off the urge to go to sleep, but I’m not going to be able to make it through all of this innings,” says Andrew Jolly. “Hoping I wake up to England being in the semis and at least one or two all-nighters to come. It is of course the hope that gets you.”
25th over: England 161-1 (Bairstow 76, Root 16) Bairstow drives Neesham not far short of Henry at mid-on, and then Root steals a second to long leg. He is still going along at a run a ball.
“This is a cracking start, again, but it makes me wonder which is the ‘real’ England team?” says Guy Hornsby. “On a good pitch we can really be aggressive, especially batting first, and we’ve shown against India how dangerous that makes us. But on slower, sticky pitches we struggle. So has this team been here all along? And are we finally coming to terms with the stifling pressure cooker tournament cricket? And can I have a gin before 12:30?”
24th over: England 156-1 (Bairstow 74, Root 13) A short ball from Santner is dumped over midwicket for four by Bairstow. His ODI career was reborn against New Zealand on this ground in 2015, when he was called up as a late replacement and scored a series-winning 83 not out. In fact he has quite a record against New Zealand, with an average of 92 and a strike rate of 118.
Meanwhile, Root gets his first boundary with a jaunty reverse ramp.
23rd over: England 145-1 (Bairstow 69, Root 7) Root plays a classical back-foot drive through extra cover for three. He has seven from eight balls. The size of this ground should allow him to be busy between the wickets, which is important because at times in this tournament he has struggled to up the rate when England have batted first.
22nd over: England 141-1 (Bairstow 68, Root 4) Santner replaces Southee. Bairstow hacks him behind square for four, the highlight of the over. England are going at 6.41 per over, and Bairstow needs 32 more to become the first England batsman to make back-to-back World Cup hundreds. I offer that as a statement of fact, not a tempter of fate.
21st over: England 133-1 (Bairstow 63, Root 3) “With most of my family living abroad, me and my dad meet up with my uncle and cousin every summer for a day at the internationals,” says Damian Burns. “We usually start at around 6am, setting off by train to some far flung corner of Britain from our base on the South Coast, with a large bag full of cans to ready us for a day spent drunkenly cheering England on (or heckling, depending on the mood – I once asked Joe Root on the square leg boundary at Edgbaston whether he voted in or out on the day of the Brexit result). We usually arrive back South so sozzled after a 15-hour session mum has to peel us off the front step because we’ve lost the ability to operate a set of keys. I know that’s not necessarily how the ECB want things but it’s tradition, right?”
It’s what this great empire was built on.
20th over: England 133-1 (Bairstow 62, Root 2) Bairstow and Root remind everyone of how well they run together by stealing a second run on the leg side. No running is required from the next delivery, a contemptuous smack through midwicket by Bairstow off Southee.
19th over: England 124-1 (Bairstow 54, Root 1) “I moved to NZ in 2014,” says Alex Webster. “Since then I’ve seen England dumped out of the group stages at three different World Cups, including being in the stadium with my (extremely drunk) cricket team when we got pumped in Wellington. I’m now sat at the bottom of the South Island, withstanding a Fiordland winter, mentally high fiving every well run two with a bristling intensity. I NEED this!”
Roy has gone! After pulling consecutive boundaries off Neesham, he check-drove the next ball straight to Santner at short extra cover. It was a loose stroke and Roy was angry with himself as he walks off; he knows he is leaving a few runs out there. But his swaggering 61-ball 60 has given England a great start.
18th over: England 115-0 (Roy 52, Bairstow 54) Tim Southee replaces Santner. He bowled a poor first spell (2-0-23-0), although in his defence it’s his first game of the tournament so he cannot be without rust. His first over back is a low-key affair; four singles from it.
17th over: England 111-0 (Roy 50, Bairstow 52) Roy wins the race to a half-century, working the new bowler Jimmy Neesham for a single. That’s the seventh time in the last eight innings that he has reached fifty. Bairstow joins him later in the over with a work off the pads for two. He’s played particularly well this morning: 46 balls, nine fours. That’s drinks.
16th over: England 107-0 (Roy 49, Bairstow 49) A quite over from Santner; three singles from it. Roy and Bairstow are yet to hit a six - there are no short boundaries today - but they have hit 15 fours between them.
15th over: England 104-0 (Roy 47, Bairstow 48) The medium-pacer Colin de Grandhomme comes into the attack, or rather the defence. His first over goes for 11. Bairstow steers the second ball to third man for four, a single for Roy brings up another rapid hundred partnership and then Bairstow repeats his earlier boundary. It’s worth dusting off an old stat: of the 124 openers who have scored 1000 runs in ODIs. Bairstow and Roy have the highest strike rate.
Meanwhile, here’s my colleague Daniel Harris “Is de Grandhomme the greatest Colin since…”
14th over: England 93-0 (Roy 45, Bairstow 39) Roy makes room to crash Santner through extra cover for four, a quite brutal shot. Seven from the over, which makes it 25 from the last three after that slightly quiet spell.
“I feel sick even though I’m not watching the game on TV here in Slovenia yet,” says Karen. “I have to rely on husband Spike to do all the necessary technical stuff & he doesn’t feel the urgency like me! I adore cricket, my Dad was a huge fan & I used to think it was soooo boring, but since Flintoff I’ve been hooked.”
13th over: England 86-0 (Roy 39, Bairstow 38) That’s the shot of the morning from Bairstow, a glorious drive for four that goes between the legs of Roy at the non-striker’s end. It’s been another excellent start for England on what looks like a belter.
“In response to Simon McMahon (over 9), we were at London St Pancras station on Sat morning at 7.30am on our way to watch the MLB at the London Stadium,” says Andy Beardsley. “We were on coffee but there was a chap sat behind us who ordered two pints for himself for breakfast. I assume he had a good day!”
12th over: England 78-0 (Roy 36, Bairstow 33) Santner returns to the attack in place of Boult, and Roy thwacks his second ball inside out over extra cover for a one-bounce four. Southee ran round from long off but it was a safe shot. A handful of ones and twos make it a good over for England.
“I have a day full of meetings, which means analysing charts, graphs and spreadsheets, obligatory PowerPoint presentations, and maybe some light arguing,” boasts Matt Dony. “Normally, obviously, this ticks all my boxes, but today I’m very frustrated at not being able to follow the match. I’m hoping that the next time I check the score, it’ll be a very big number followed by a very small number. Say, 350 for two? Is that too much to ask? Really?”
11th over: England 68-0 (Roy 27, Bairstow 32) An accurate over from Henry also brings only one run. Bairstow played a few crisp drives without piercing the field. New Zealand have pulled this back quite well, with the last six overs going for 24.
Meanwhile, in the shires
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10th over: England 67-0 (Roy 26, Bairstow 32) England are handling Boult with care unless it’s a rank bad ball. One from the over, which gives Boult decent figures of 5-0-19-0. He also received an official warning for running on the pitch from the umpire S Ravi.
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9th over: England 66-0 (Roy 25, Bairstow 32) Roy top-edges a pull over the keeper’s head for four The ball disappears under the covers on the boundary edge, and there’s a delay of around two minutes before the New Zealand wicketkeeper Tom Latham finds it - and receives the biggest cheer of the morning.
“Morning Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Dave Voss need not worry. Drinking at 10am in London (for this Scotsman anyway) is compulsory. Cheers. And cards on the table, I want England to go through but it would be quite good fun for me personally if they lose today and have to rely on Bangladesh on Friday when I’ll be watching at Lord’s, although I realise this scenario will not be universally popular with England fans.”
8th over: England 59-0 (Roy 19, Bairstow 31) A short ball from Boult is pulled viciously through midwicket for four by Roy. There’s no swing now, which is very good news for England. At the moment this is a below average partnership Bairstow and Roy; of the 53 opening partnerships who have added at least 1000 runs in ODIs, their average of 68 is the highest.
“Just wanted to ask what a competitive total is one this pitch, 315+?” asks Mohammed Hansrod.
7th over: England 53-0 (Roy 14, Bairstow 30) After two poor overs, Tim Southee is replaced by Matt Henry. He started the tournament superbly, with seven wickets in the first two games, but since then he has taken one wicket for 185. Bairstow works him for two to bring up an aggressive fifty partnership from only 38 balls. At the moment, New Zealand look like a team who don’t need to win, although a wicket would probably change that.
“Obviously, the unpleasantness you were feeling is down to all that milk in your flat whites,” says John Starbuck. “Do what I do, switch to double espressos all the time. You don’t have to worry about what to choose and the effect lasts longer, so it’s cheaper too.”
6th over: England 48-0 (Roy 13, Bairstow 27) Boult beats Bairstow with a lovely delivery that moves away off the seam. The ball has stopped swinging, however, and that allows Bairstow to lace a drive over extra cover for four. That was an emphatic stroke.
“After six years working in the Philippines I’m here with my brother in law, both in some England tops from ‘99 that we swore weren’t this tight!” says Adam Kennedy. “What a beautiful stadium this is! Come on England!”
5th over: England 44-0 (Roy 13, Bairstow 23) Southee has started poorly. He drifts onto the pads of Bairstow, who accepts the offer of bread and butter. That’s the first of three consecutive boundaries from Bairstow, who drives just over Santner at cover before slamming a pull through square leg. He has 23 from 12 balls and England are off to a flyer.
“Morning Rob,” says David Horn. “So, you won the toss with Tom Davies this morning and opted to OBO first. That seems smart to me. Get your comms on the board, let Tom deal with the lower bounce/gripping balls later in the day. Plus, harder to type when your fingernails have been reduced to painful, bloody stumps. Good luck to everyone out there today. Good luck with getting any work done, with maintaining your sanity, with this business of Being A Supporter. We’re gonna need it.”
4th over: England 31-0 (Roy 13, Bairstow 10) Boult swings one too far into Roy, and the ball runs away off the pad for four leg-byes. But Roy doesn’t look particularly comfortable against Boult: he mistimes a smear to leg and then misses a big drive at a very wide delivery.
Here’s Mark O’Brien. “Three Englishmen, to Kiwis in a bar on the tropical island of Koh Phangan trying to explain rules of 50-over cricket to local Thai contingent through international sign language & role play.”
3rd over: England 25-0 (Roy 11, Bairstow 10) Tim Southee, whose swing bowling destroyed England in Wellington four years ago, replaces Mitchell Santner. Bairstow gets off the mark from his third ball, thumping a short ball through extra cover for four. He clouts the next delivery over the off side for four more, although that was a riskier shot from a wide outswinger, and finishes the over with an edge wide of slip for two. It’s been a fast start for England, though New Zealand will be encouraged by the fact the ball is swinging.
2nd over: England 15-0 (Roy 11, Bairstow 0) This, as Athers says on Sky, is a key phase of the game. England struggle against left-armers and Trent Boult is a world-class swing bowler. His first ball curves back into the pads of Roy, who survives a biggish LBW appeal. Although it was missing leg stump, that’s a really encouraging start for Boult. With the ball swinging, Roy starts respectfully against Boult, but he is alert enough to put a poor delivery through midwicket for four. He has faced every ball so far.
1st over: England 9-0 (Roy 5, Bairstow 0) Oh my! Santner’s first delivery is a beautiful arm ball that curves into Roy, beats his attempted cut and just misses the leg stump. It races away for four byes, but that could easily have been a first-baller for Roy. He gets off the mark later in the over by slapping a low full toss through the covers. Doom department: as Mike Atherton says on Sky, if the ball is swinging for the spinner, it will surely do so for Trent Boult.
“Very old school choice of Cole Porter lyrics – nice,” says Brian Withington. “First saw George Melly perform it at a British Gas Dinner Dance (!) circa 1980 in an enormous London Hotel ballroom, which he described in his inimitable style as an ‘intimate little boîte’ (to the amusement of those of us with O-level French).”
It’s time. The left-arm spinner Mitchell Santner will bowl the first over.
You know it’s a big game when ... you have umpteen unread emails before a ball has been bowled. (It’s not as bad as the 2011 semi-final between India and Pakistan, when I had something like 94 unread emails before the toss.) Please keep them coming, even if I’ll struggle to read them all until tonight.
“Are they playing on the same pitch as Sri Lanka v West Indies, who both scored well on Monday?” asks Scott Rutherford.
No, it’s a new pitch and looks full of runs. The swing of Southee and especially Boult is probably England’s main concern.
“Why am I doing this?” says Sam Collier. “I was an absolute wreck on Sunday. I remained that way even while there was only a mathematical chance of India winning. And after England won, as realised I was going to have to go through it all again. Possibly three times. I just need you to tell me it’s going to be okay. Okay?”
Thankfully I’ve been an oasis of calm throughout this World Cup, and the crippling nausea I experienced all day Sunday was purely down to an excess of flat whites.
“Is there are way - other than trawling through the matches, one by one - to find out the percentage of toss wins that England has achieved during this tournament?” asks Sarah Bacon. “Feels excessive.”
Dave Voss is confident.“The Fear,” he says. “I’ve got it. I feel sick and trembling and it’s going to be like this all day isn’t it? Is it cowardly to start drinking at 10am?”
“We’ve finally made it to a match in England again,” writes Eva Maaten. “The Riverside is quite a change from the Wanderers in Joburg, lovely stadium. Witnessed some good-humoured banter between England and NZ fans on the bus to the stadium - it should be an exciting game on the most perfect of all English cricket days, sunny with picture book clouds.”
England are unchanged. New Zealand bring in Matt Henry and Tim Southee for Ish Sodhi and the injured Lockie Ferguson.
England Roy, Bairstow, Root, Morgan (c), Stokes, Buttler (wk), Woakes, Plunkett, Rashid, Archer, Wood.
Kane Williamson says he would also have batted.
Pre-match reading (and listening)
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“On a dark and stormy™ Wellington night, I’m hunkered down and ready for this to get started,” writes my old colleague Paul Cockburn. “I was in the Cake Tin for the monstering NZ gave England in 2015... but down here I think people are nervous England will end the 13k-day streak. The Black Caps have rather lost their way as this compy has unwound, haven’t they?”
A little, mainly because they have too many players out of form. But they are – and I forgot to say this in the preamble – a dangerous team to underestimate.
An email!
“Could you put the standings table up pls?” asks Rob Connelly. “I can’t find the link on the Guardian site.”
Related: Cricket World Cup 2019: latest standings
The New Zealand permutations
The England permutations
Some early team news
The ferocious Lockie Ferguson is out with a tight hamstring, which is good news for Eoin Morgan’s hook stroke. Matt Henry or Tim Southee will replace him in the New Zealand side.
Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. But let’s not do it. Please, let’s not underestimate New Zealand. Since England’s stirring win over India on Sunday, there has been an unspoken, possibly unconscious assumption that they have nine toes in the semi-final. It’s dangerous, disrespectful and just plain wrong. England are below New Zealand in the table and have not beaten them at a World Cup for 13,173 days.
Thankfully, any complacency is unlikely to have spread to the England dressing-room. Eoin Morgan is an unashamed Kiwiphile, and England’s journey (sic) to this point started when they were giving the mother of all shellackings at Wellington in the last World Cup.
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