93rd over: England 283-7 (Stokes 69, Roland-Jones 2) Stokes hasn’t hit a boundary in ages. What does he think this is, a Champions Trophy semi-final? I jest; he has played a smart, admirably disciplined innings - and he’s still scoring at a strike rate of 54.
“I only had the pleasure of seeing Sylvester Clarke once,” says Kevin Ryan. “Surrey v Kent late afternoon. Sylvester opens the bowling with a loosener which pitched halfway down the pitch and cleared Jack Richards who must have been standing at least 30 yards back. A memory that has stuck with me was the sight of certain Kent batsmen pacing up and down in their quarters like expectant fathers and at least one who shall remain nameless puffing furiously on a fag. All awaiting their unfortunate and predictable fate.”
92nd over: England 282-7 (Stokes 68, Roland-Jones 2) Rabada again surprises his mate Stokes with a bit of extra bounce. Stokes has been largely strokeless since around midday, scoring 11 from his last 47 deliveries.
“Thanks for opening up the ‘Bowlers who didn’t play many Tests’ rabbit hole!” says Elliot Carr-Barnsley “Colin Croft must be up there, only 27 Tests, yielding 122 wickets at 23, including a 9-for. Bruce Reid, 27 matches, 113 at 24. Let us not forget Mohammed Asif either, what he might have become. 106 scalps in 23 matches at 24. And Michael Bevan. Yes. 18 tests, 29 wickets at 24 at a strike rate of 44 including a ten-for.”
91st over: England 279-7 (Stokes 68, Roland-Jones 0) The debutant Toby Roland-Jones is a useful batsman. He has a first-class hundred and made 37 not out against South Africa on his ODI debut. Moeen might be unlucky to have been given out. Mike Atherton has pointed out that the spike on Ultra Edge may well have been bat on pad, rather than inside edge on ball, and that it’s debatable whether there was definitive evidence to overturn the decision. Oh well, it’s done now.
“Just to clarify,” says Tom Hopkins. what are the circumstances when human beings wouldn’t choose to postpone the moment of performance?”
Moeen has gone! He inside-edged Morkel onto the pad, with the ball deflecting through to de Kock. Ultra Edge did the necessary, and the original on-field decision was overturned.
REVIEW! 90.3 overs: England 279-6 (Stokes 68, Moeen 16) Morkel, from around the wicket, rips one back to hit Moeen in the locale of the unmentionables. It has the desired effect: Moeen is beaten, his feet stuck in cement, and then there’s a review from South Africa. I’m not sure whether this is for LBW or caught behind. I suspect it’s for both. I think he might be out here.
90th over: England 279-6 (Stokes 68, Moeen 16) Rabada has got some sharp lift today, and that’s another example: a delivery that surprises Stokes, who had shaped to attack, and hits high on the bat before dribbling into the off side for a single. Rabada is barely 22 yet bowls with such wisdom.
“I’ve just finished your piece on Duncan Spencer and went looking in vain for clips of him bowling on the WACA pitch,” says Eamonn Maloney. “Channel 9 used to broadcast Shield games and I vaguely remember Spencer roughing up 9 alumnus James Brayshaw, a Redback batsman of Gowerian elegance whose post-cricket career has at times seemed exclusively dedicated to destroying the reserves of admiration his batting built up, in me at least.”
89th over: England 275-6 (Stokes 66, Moeen 14) There’s a bit of mizzle at the Oval. When does mizzle become drizzle? Or is mizzle drizzle? Can you measure it with data, like a batting average, or do you have to trust your expert eye? Another quiet over from Morkel to the hitherto watchful pair of Stokes and Moeen. The possibility of going off for rain in the next few minutes gives England even more incentive to dig in. Preserve your wickets; they’re all that’s left you.
“Are we still doing Sylvester Clarke stories?” says Phil Harison. “My friend Neil - who was an average club batsman at best - faced him in the Lancashire League. He said the first ball hit him on the thigh without him having been aware of Clarke having let go of it. They scrambled a painful leg-bye and Neil chipped one up in the air at the other end rather than face him again. When he got back to the pavilion, he discovered the the whole top half of his left leg had gone purple. The Lancashire Leagues sound nuts - clubbies facing Test bowlers without helmets. How did no one die?”
88th over: England 274-6 (Stokes 65, Moeen 14) Philander is still off the field with a bad stomach, perhaps refusing to move from his seat for something other than superstitious reasons. That gives England an even greater incentive to see off these two and go after Morris, who has had a poor game so far, and Maharaj, who is good but not as threatening as the others on day two. At the moment that’s what they are doing, which has made for a low-key start to the afternoon session.
“So,” says Andrew Benton, “if not Stokes, Moeen and Bairstow, which three all-rounders would you have in their places, Rob?”
87th over: England 270-6 (Stokes 64, Moeen 11) Morkel starts after lunch with an uneventful over to Moeen. In an ideal world Moeen would bat at No7 - he is far too good to be at No8 - but England need all the extra batting they can get at the moment.
“Why do batsmen “play for lunch” (or tea, or bad light) when a wicket is frequently lost at the resumption of play?” says Tone White. “Habit?”
Ach! I posted the wrong link for the Dan Lucas fundraiser early. Thanks to Huw Swanborough for pointing it out. Here’s the correct link.
“Hi Rob,” says Gareth Wilson. “Really interested by your comment on Bairstow’s propensity to make nothing scores, so I statsguru’d a little, and found this. If you take a nothing score for a batsman to be between 20 and 49 (maybe harsh), then Bairstow hits this in 36 per cent of his innings. Root’s figures is 21 per cent, Cook 26, Alec Stewart 30 and Gilchrist 27.
“Interestingly, or not, Bairstow’s average in those innings is almost identical to his career average (40.27 v 40.51), and Stewart is similar (39.7 v 39.54). All the others have a much higher overall average (Root: 37.66 v 53.3; Cook: 35.85 v 46.34, Gilchrist: 37.39 v 47.6) which just goes to show, I guess, that Bairstow will give you 40 runs per innings and never much more, which is potentially a reason to bat him at 7 rather than 6. I think this makes some sense.”
Lunchtime viewing
86th over: England 269-6 (Stokes 64, Moeen 10) Moeen tries to pull his bat away from a delivery from Rabada that pings off the face of the bat to the third-man boundary. Moeen is so talented that he can leave you for four. A pleasant square-drive for three ends another excellent session in this rough, tough arm-wrestle of a Test. England lost Cook and Bairstow; South Africa lost Philander, who is off the field with diarrhoea and vomiting. Ben Stokes played two innings in one, a scorching counter-attack followed by some diligent defence to ensure England went to lunch only six down. See you in half an hour for the afternoon session.
85th over: England 262-6 (Stokes 64, Moeen 3) Morkel begins the process of working Moeen over. He rips a bouncer past his nose and then jags one back to hit high on the pad. Moeen does the sensible thing and gets off strike, at which point Morkel bursts another beauty past Stokes’s defensive stroke. That was a brilliant over.
“Michael Cross’s tale of Sylvester Clarke mentioned Wayne Daniel en passant (well, in the bar) and reminded me of a visit to Enfield CC circa 1980,” says Brian Withington. “Apparently Wayne had been stood down by Middlesex and was free to play for the club that weekend - but arrived too late for the 1st team’s away trip. Undeterred (and possibly not in the best of humour) he turned out for the Saturday 2nds! An hour later he had to be “rested” after hospitalising the opposition upper order - I think the lower order were threatening a mutiny. Fortunately he didn’t show up for our game on the Sunday ...”
84th over: England 261-6 (Stokes 64, Moeen 2) Another good over from Rabada, who kicks an excellent delivery past Stokes’s defensive stroke. England are playing for lunch, which is two overs away.
83rd over: England 260-6 (Stokes 64, Moeen 1) One more wicket before lunch would put South Africa well on top. Stokes, after that thrilling counter-attack earlier in the day, seems to have shut up shop until lunch.
“As a long-suffering fan of the South Australian Redbacks I can confirm Ryan Harris was a bit crap before moving to Queensland, where it suddenly occurred to him to bowl 10kph faster,” says Eamonn Maloney. “He was even thought of as an allrounder in Adelaide - preposterous in retrospect.”
82nd over: England 258-6 (Stokes 63, Moeen 0) “Casually watching the Test with my nine year old daughter,” says Phil Withall. “She’s not overly interested but I try talking up the quality of the South African bowling, Bairstow’s heritage and the fact that the reaction time of a batsman is really rather impressive. There is a lull then she pipes up with ‘What age do you reach puberty>’ I mumbled a reply and handed her a copy of The Dandy before exiting stage left. Never watch cricket with children or animals...”
Terrific bowling from Rabada. He made Bairstow play at everything, including a fine delivery that kicked and straightened to hit high on the bat, and du Plessis at second slip took a smart catch to his left. It’s another nothing score for Bairstow. He gets a lot of those, though in this case he fell to an excellent delivery.
81st over: England 256-5 (Stokes 63, Bairstow 34) Morne Morkel takes the second new ball. His first over is not the best, a bit too wide to Stokes, who leaves most of the deliveries. A maiden.
“Gary Naylor, my old friend, makes a good point about the way England approach their batting,” writes Dileep Premachandran. “With respect to your response, Waugh’s Aussies had Hayden, Langer, Ponting, Martyn, Gilchrist...bit harder to pull it off with the likes of Dawid Malan and Gary Ballance!”
80th over: England 256-5 (Stokes 63, Bairstow 34) Right, enough of that filler: it’s time for the second new-ball, and some assertions of masculinity.
“While we’re reminiscing, I have very fond memories of the Oval,” says Guy Hornsby. “Was a junior member with my twin brother back in the 80s as a pair of nippers, and spent many a Saturday/Sunday in the Pavilion staring at Honours Boards, in my C&A anorak and green flash (I KNOW). My first ever Test match was in August 1989, when the Aussies came for revenge, bringing a certain Terry Alderman with them. On day 2, Dean Jones smashed 122, and we watched aghast as our great hope Gooch was LBW 3rd ball. We went autograph hunting, wide-eyed and fearless, and bagged many legends that we’d only first seen that day. And Nick Cook. I found the programme clearing my spare room this year, and I’ll cherish it forever. I think I fell in love with the game that day.”
79th over: England 255-5 (Stokes 62, Bairstow 34) Philander is still off the field with his stomach bug, so he won’t be able to take the second new ball. That’ll mean Rabada v Stokes and Bairstow with the hard new cherry, a contest that is incapable of producing dull cricket. At the moment dull cricket is precisely what we’re getting, with both teams killing time until that new ball.
“Would you agree that ‘what if Ryan Harris had been selected four years earlier?’ is the greatest sporting what-if of our times?” says Rob Little. “Certainly the selection of people like Hilfenhaus, Bollinger etc instead did seem to rather diminish that great Australian team as soon as the titans (sans Punter + Hayden (who wasn’t really at his best anyway) retired at the end of the 06-07 Ashes.”
78th over: England 254-5 (Stokes 61, Bairstow 34) “Watching my uncle play club cricket in cape town when I was eight years old was the catalyst of my love for the sport,” writes Mo. “ Back then (1982) it was not uncommon to have ten Provincial players in the club lineup. Many who, if given the chance, would have played for South Africa. I still remember the buzz of excitement watching the opening bowlers tear in, and releasing the ball at speeds I thought were supersonic. There’d be up to 10,000 people watching a club game.”
Really? 10,000?
77th over: England 251-5 (Stokes 59, Bairstow 33) Morris replaces Rabada and bowls a quiet over that goes for a couple. The last 10 minutes have been pretty quiet, with both sides taking a breather before for the second new ball.
“Morning Rob,” says Nick Walmsley. “Speaking of “lost” express-quick bowlers from yesteryear, I saw Andre van Troost clobber Jimmy Adams during a match at Taunton against the West Indies in 1995, breaking his cheekbone. His first-class career was patchy and unimpressive, mainly because he was injury-prone but also because of his unerring *inaccuracy*. He bowled like a hungry gorilla during a famine. I don’t have access to my Wisdens, but several county batsmen of the time testified that he was the quickest on the circuit.”
76th over: England 249-5 (Stokes 58, Bairstow 32) Heather Knight has popped into the Sky commentary box to talk about what it’s like to win a World Cup. Apparently Katherine Brunt was trying to get into a London nightclub at 3am on Monday morning, still in her England tracksuit, and was turned away because she had trainers on. Tremendous stuff.
“Is it me, or do England always seem to bat as if they have 100 more runs on the board than is actually the case?” says Gary Naylor. “Makes for attractive cricket, but does invite the wheels to fall off rather more often than they should.”
75th over: England 248-5 (Stokes 58, Bairstow 31) Bairstow back cuts Rabada confidently for four. England’s lower middle order have received plenty of criticism in the last few months, so it’s only fair to point out that this is their good side. When Cook was out England were 183 for five and in trouble; these two have since added 65 at a run a ball. It’s been an excellent and courageous counter-attack. South Africa might be feeling the first prods of deja vu.
74th over: England 241-5 (Stokes 58, Bairstow 24) Stokes had 21 from 41 balls overnight, and 22 from 51 at one stage this morning, so his last 36 runs have come from 30 deliveries.
73rd over: England 239-5 (Stokes 57, Bairstow 23) Rabada switches ends to replace Morris, who was taking some tap. Stokes continues to attack, pulling Rabada just over the leaping mid-on for four. That takes him to a very good fifty from just 72 balls. Objectively, he is looking extremely dangerous. When I say ‘objectively’, what I mean is: DON’T BLAME ME FOR CURSING HIM IF HE FLOGS ONE STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES.
“Morning!” says Michael Cross. “I’m Michael Cross, and I am indeed at the Oval with Sean (opening mail of the day). At the risk of missing more of Stokes’s savage beauty, one more Sylvester yarn? Surrey had resumed after lunch against a Leicestershire side for whom Gower had begun to score freely. Leaving the Members’ bar, I was surprised to see our man in his whites, on a stool, chatting over a very obvious rum n coke with an in-civvies Wayne Daniel. He rejoined the fray a little later (“returning to the field, Sylvester Clarke”; smattering of applause) took the next over - no rules then about having to wait - and had Gower at third slip. A rueful Gower returned to the pavilion waving his glove - from which the unplayable delivery had separated the thumb from the body. I think it was his 3rd ball. A proper Surrey great.”
72nd over: England 230-5 (Stokes 48, Bairstow 23) Maharaj replaces Rabada. Bairstow, who has had trouble with Maharaj in this series, decides to go on the attack. He sweeps the second ball over square leg and clouts the third down the ground for a second consecutive boundary. It was in the air but Maharaj would have needed inhuman reactions to catch it. The last ball of the over, and the last before drinks, is lapped round the corner for another four to make it 12 from the over.
“Morning Rob, morning everyone,” says Harkarn Sumal. “Perhaps the real tale in the earlier magnificent “runs in victories” stat-link is that of one Brian Charles Lara, languishing very near the bottom with 2,929. That means he scored over 9,000 of his 11,953 Test runs in losing or drawing causes. For a man who is wrongly remembered by too many as a flighty chancer of a genius who didn’t buckle down when the pressure was on, that’s not a bad effort. He was truly a king atop the turrets of a once-mighty castle’s crumbling ruins as the great West Indies era drew to a close. And a non-empirical measure of the man was that I don’t recall ever hearing him scorning or belittling the lesser mortals around him in that batting order.”
71st over: England 218-5 (Stokes 48, Bairstow 12) Bairstow belts a gentle outswinger from Morris through extra cover for his second boundary, a carbon copy of the first.
“I won’t have any Murdoch-owned filth in the house and I never remember anything from my annual Test at Old Trafford,” chirps Paul Smith. “But from the OBO, Philander sounds a lot like Ryan Harris. Is he?”
70th over: England 212-5 (Stokes 47, Bairstow 7) A double bowling change, with Rabada replacing Philander. Bairstow is surprised by some malevolent extra bounce, and does well to punch the ball short of the cordon. That unsettles him sufficiently that he chases and misses a wide one later in the over.
“I grew up in Johannesburg in the 1980s, and was a member of the young Transvaal fan club.,” asys Richard Mansell. “My school was almost next door to the Wanderers, Jimmy Cook was my year 6 teacher, and Ray Jennings used to come by to hang out with him some times. It has always baffled me how Sylvester Clarke could have come to live and play in South Africa during the height of apartheid. I can only imagine that he was granted “honorary white” status, which made him white in the eyes of the law and allowed him to live in white areas, travel on white trains, go to white beaches, etc. The perversity is unbelievable. I appreciate that he needed money, but would be fascinated to explore and understand how men like him dealt with their undoubtedly troubled consciences. He might have been an “honorary white” but all around him the very visible effects of apartheid must have been impossible to ignore.”
69th over: England 210-5 (Stokes 46, Bairstow 6) Chris Morris replaces Morne Morkel. Morris v Ben Stokes = enough machismo to power 48 street brawls. A low full toss is clubbed for four, an attempted yorker is timed down the ground, and then a wide half-volley is driven classically through extra cover for the third boundary of the over. If I were a South African fan, I would think Stokes looks in exceedingly ominous form. As an England fan, I expect him to hole out any second.
“Harold Larwood used to drink ale during the lunch interval,” says Dave Adams. “Apparently, Arthur Carr, his captain, used to positively encourage him to enjoy a lunch comprising of cheese and pickle sandwiches and a couple of ales. As someone who can barely raise a trot after a few beers, this seems utterly bewildering.”
68th over: England 198-5 (Stokes 34, Bairstow 6) Bairstow reaches to thump a Philander outswinger through extra cover for his first boundary. That shot contained 0.00 per cent nonsense. Philander responds, as he usually does, by seaming one past the outside edge.
“Thanks for sorting out the spare tickets last night,” says Simon Thomas. “A hundred quid raised for the Dan Lucas Fund and three happy punters, one at his first ever Test. Also, what happened to Stumpy & Willow, eh?”
67th over: England 194-5 (Stokes 34, Bairstow 2) Morkel drops short to Stokes, who cuffs a swaggering pull through midwicket for four. The next ball is rifled straight down the ground for two, and it would have been four more but for a touch from Morkel in his follow-through. You invariably need to use the phrase “so far” during a Stokes innings, but so far his judgement of when to attack and when to defend has been almost perfect.
“Re Angus King. Surely Broad is an adjective, not a noun,” says Martin Brady, who has clearly never seen The Sopranos. “Though I’m reminded of the heyday of 2009, when Cook Swann and Onions appeared both on the England team sheet and in the Queen’s breakfast order.”
66th over: England 186-5 (Stokes 28, Bairstow 2) Philander returns to the field to continue his spell. There is still some orthodox swing, even though the ball is 66 overs old, and Bairstow is sensibly content to defend.
65th over: England 183-5 (Stokes 27, Bairstow 0) This is tremendous Test cricket. It would, I might humbly suggest, be a very good time for one of Stokes, Bairstow or Moeen to show that they can also make 250-ball hundreds.
Meanwhile, a good stat from Shane Warne on Sky: Morkel has dismissed Cook 10 times in Tests, more than anybody else.
He’s out! It was hitting the top of the bails, umpire’s call, and that’s enough for South Africa. Cook was batting very deep in his crease, perhaps because he was bounced out by Morris in the last Test, and that meant the ball didn’t have so far to travel. That’s a huge wicket. It was a good delivery from Morkel, cutting back from around the wicket, and Cook pushed defensively around his pad as he jumped back in his crease.
“Oh that’s not out,” says Shane Warne as Morne Morkel goes up for LBW. “He’s given him!” Cook reviewed it straight away but this is tight. Height may save him.
64th over: England 182-4 (Cook 88, Stokes 26) Cook instinctively chases a legcutter from Philander and is happy to miss it by a fair way. He’s beaten again from the final delivery, another that moves sharply off the seam. I hope these two old-fashioned champions will share a beer at the end of the series; I’d imagine there is enormous mutual respect. Philander leaves the field at the end of the over, which will please England.
“Cumberland sausage in Perdoni’s?” sniffs Paddy Blewer. “You clearly never went. Was a great place though. Photos of all the Surrey players that had eaten in there. Especially if you’re a boy with your dad who had gone to Tenisons round the corner and therefore had played at the Oval (they used to get a game a year when it was a Grammar).
63rd over: England 182-4 (Cook 88, Stokes 26) Morkel floats one up to Cook, who drives confidently for three.If he reaches three figures it’ll be his 31st Test hundred, and one of his best.
“Morning Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Apparently we tend to feel guilt about the past and fear the future, so instead we should live for the moment. And don’t fret about what you can’t control. I get the feeling Alistair Cook is able to do precisely that. Though there have been plenty of England cricketers who couldn’t. There’s a lesson in there somewhere. I think.”
62nd over: England 179-4 (Cook 85, Stokes 26) Oof! Cook nicks a beauty from Philander that lands this far short of du Plessis at second slip, who scooped it up almost on the half-volley. This is already another serious interrogation from Philander, who is making the batsmen play at almost everything. That’s the last thing they want to do at the start of a day’s play. A single takes brings Stokes on strike, and he flicks a high-class boundary through midwicket. That takes him to 2000 Test runs.
“My old man, Neville - who was capped for Surrey, and was a very useful club cricketer, rejecting a professional career - faced S Clarke on several occasions,” says Tim Featherstone-Griffin. “He always described it as ‘the most terrifying experience you can have on a cricket pitch, made worse only if Sylvester had been on the rum...’”
61st over: England 174-4 (Cook 84, Stokes 22) Stokes was largely excellent yesterday. You could feel his determination to construct a proper Test-match innings, to show a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the game, and he starts in similar vein against Morkel this morning. A maiden.
“The England team only prospers with players whose surnames are nouns (Cook, Root, Broad, Alley) or third-person verbs – Stokes,” says Angus King. “Or Anderson.”
60th over: England 174-4 (Cook 84, Stokes 22) You don’t need me to tell you how important today is, so that’s precisely what I’m going to do. It is, in the parlance of our time, a biggie. Shane Warne and Bumble reckon this could be a better batting day, both in terms of the pitch and the overhead conditions. Vernon Philander will bowl the first of a scheduled 98 overs. He doesn’t do looseners, and is straight into the groove of making the batsmen play. Cook gets a thick outside edge into the off side and then works a couple of runs off the pads.
“That Ponting stat is something, isn’t it?” says Luke Dealtry. “Does it really say the man won 108 Test matches? That’s more than New Zealand or Sri Lanka. Australia have won 377 Tests - which means that Punter played in 29% of all Australian victories, or 7% of all Test wins ever. Can that be right? Ye gods.”
If it’s good enough for you, it’s good enough for ... you
“Watching Sylvester Clarke made me a cricket fan for life,” says Paddy Blewer. “I won’t ever forget it. My birthday treat. September 1988. Bus to Morden, tube to the Oval with my old man. Sausage sandwich and mug of tea at Perdoni’s greasy spoon round the corner from the Oval. Used my grandad’s old binoculars so I could see the game properly. Then Sylvester fell on a good Lancashire lineup and destroyed them. It was so fast it was hard to pick up. He got 6/60 in 28 overs and was brutal. Got Fowler/Mendis/Atherton and the tail. I was 9. I was hooked on cricket and I wanted to be a fast bowler.”
“Hi there,” says Al Ferguson. “Easier way to find TMS overseas for this Tets match. Go to this link. Click on ‘TMS overseas’.”
“Hello from Cape Town, South Africa,” says Gary. “Why is there no early start to play to make up for the overs lost yesterday.”
I think they add any extra overs onto the end rather than the start, so we could have 98 overs today.
Other audio services are available, etc.
“If we are plugging TMS via youtube,” says Thomas Whiteley, “maybe mention Guerilla Cricket is also free on tuneIn.”
Niche stat of the day (and the next few days)
If England win this match, Alastair Cook will become the first Englishman to score 5,000 runs in Test victories. LOOK HOW MANY RICKY PONTING SCORED.
Bobby did a bad bad thing
I meant to post this yesterday and I forgot. I’m sorry.
The first email of the day
“Ahoy hoy!” says Jim Crane. “My friend (and Surrey alumnus) Michael Cross is at The Oval today with his son, Sean. Discussing your Oval Memories theme last night, he proffered the following for your delectation:
Alastair Cook is a batting addict. And, like all addicts, he doesn’t care how unpleasant the circumstances just so long as he gets his fix*. Batting was extremely tough yesterday yet Cook relished every last drain on his concentration. His superb 82 not out, a masterclass in how to respect Test cricket, has kept England in the match and maybe the series.
Cook bought England time by surviving 178 deliveries. Since his debut he has faced 24,035 balls; that’s almost 8,000 more than the next best, Hashim Amla. He is the master of the dying art of batting time. It’s odd that, like Richie Benaud’s commentary silences, everybody praises Cook’s old-fashioned virtues yet nobody can be bothered to copy him. But that’s a gripe for another day.
20th over: England 73-1 (Jennings 33, Westley 28) Third maiden for Rabada, including a jaffa that has Westley driving at air. Keiran Betteley has a question for the OBO hivemind: “That review just then for Jennings was after, assumedly, the umpire gave him out caught behind.” Correct.
“The third umpire then went on to check the LBW decision.What would have happened in the case of an umpire’s call? Could the bowling team get a wicket on the basis of the umpire’s call, despite the fact the umpire didn’t give it out LBW? I’m not a fan of umpire’s call in any case, especially the commentators congratulating the umpire on a ‘good decision’ after it’s upheld on umpire’s call (and would have been either way), but this one seems to be a genuine weird one. Does anyone know?”
19th over: England 73-1 (Jennings 33, Westley 28) Chris Morris in, car packed full of chips, and Westley immediately drives him through the covers. Then, when he pulls his length back. Westley thrashes him behind point for four more. Luckily, Morris feels nothing because he’s made of string.
18th over: England 64-1 (Jennings 33, Westley 19) A maiden from Rabada but one that Jennings was happy to take. Tom Maingay emails in: “Thought it might be worth mentioning that I’m struck, whenever I hear Morne Morkel’s name, by it’s similarity to Nazgul-hosting Middle Earthian city, Minas Morgul. Although I’m sure this has occurred before to Mr Wilson.”
17th over: England 64-1 (Jennings 33, Westley 19) This is Westley’s quality. He gets bowlers to bowl to him. Even having been beaten a few times outside off stump, Morkel goes full to entice something more. So Westley leans into another fine on drive. Not quite timed, though, so he’ll only get two for it. But good batting nonetheless.
16th over: England 62-1 (Jennings 33, Westley 17) Jennings is given out for... well caught behind. The South Africans – and umpire Joel Wilson – reckon it’s bad and pad before being caught by Quinton de Kock. Westley tells Jennings to review, so he does... not only is there no bat, but the check for the LBW shows that the ball had pitched outside leg.
15th over: England 62-1 (Jennings 33, Westley 17) “Oof; ouch and ow; talk about Jaffa-time.” Good to have you with us, Robert Wilson. “For more than a decade, I’ve been whispering awed tales about a ball Brett Lee bowled to Flintoff in 2005. Like a flashbacking Gandalf, I would say that not if staunch Freddie had 100 tries could he have laid wood upon it, so demonic and otherwordly was this fast nip-backer. That Morkel ball is a new contender for my hobbit-frightening fireside routine. Admittedly, if you got 50 or 60 goes at it; you might just nick it, but on the other hand, Morkel is a much scarier name. You feel me?”
Definitely. A “Lee” might steal your girlfriend, but a “Morkel” will haunt you for life. It’s quite onomatopoeic – like a ghoul who didn’t quite make the cut for Beowulf. Westley’s not scared, mind – finishes the over with a lovely straight drive for four.
14th over: England 53-1 (Jennings 28, Westley 13) Philander off and now Jennings cuts loose. If you looked up “loosener” in the dictionary – yes, my dictionary has pictures in it – you’ll see that over from Rabada. Short, wide and two balls gleefully swatted away through point and then cover for a couple of boundaries.
Meanwhile, this is a fantastic initiative that does so much good. If you fancy helping them out, link in the Tweet...
13th over: England 44-1 (Jennings 19, Westley 13) Not for the first time, Vernon Philander has had to leave the field. Morkel’s bowling this one, mind, but the tension of the situation seems to have dissipated after the runs of the previous over and the sight of Big Vern trudging off. Just one from this over. Kagiso Rabada’s on next...
12th over: England 43-1 (Jennings 18, Westley 13) Class from Westley. Swing, away from him, yet he just leans into an on-drive glorious, ensuring he’s got the silences on those deadly wrists. He takes them off for the next boundary, working Philander off his hip to beat fine leg to the sponge.
“Morkel is virtually unplayable at the moment,” says Brian Withington. “As Atherton says, the only way to face that sort of bowling is from the other end!” 100%. Nothing wrong with being yellow-bellied, here. In fact, it’s a fundamental part of batting, especially opening. Quite often you’ll hear a seasoned opener say that the best way to play yourself in is watching from the nonstriker’s end.
11th over: England 35-1 (Jennings 18, Westley 5) Morkel is on one, right now. Makes a fool of Jennings with one that just bounces over off stump. Incredible stuff. Jennings just laughs. Who knows, it could well be his day...
10th over: England 35-1 (Jennings 18. Westley 5) Gorgeous from Westley. Follows an outswinger from Philander and drives him through extra cover for four. A handful of leaves, a couple of feels and a stunner that pulls Westley’s pants down finish the over.
From an earlier thread, Mark Press emails in this: “Here’re a couple of Australian players who played in Holding’s Lancs league debut. Ian Callen was the only other pro who played in that game, and has a brilliant bat making business in Australia today. They replied when I asked them if they remember that game.”
I was told Henry Hall hooking Wes Hall for some sixes and Henry did play that game against Michael @rammylad1 would know
9th over: England 31-1 (Jennings 18, Westley 1) Turns out he’s got a similar delivery for righties, does Morkel. Tom Westley walks out at number three and is beaten by one that holds its line. Gets off the mark with an easy single to square leg.
Now then: take the phone off the hook, close the curtains and watch this on repeat:
Right. Remember that delivery a couple of overs back – the un-nickable one from Morkel to Cook? OK, so the point stands. You’re not nicking that. Which is just as well because it’s clipped the top of off stump. Video imminent (well worth the wait). Ball of the series, I think. Rabada’s doozy to Malan bumped to second.
8th over: England 30-0 (Cook 7, Jennings 18) Jennings up against Philander again. He’s gagging to rotate the strike but seems to have this very un-leftie blind spot on his pads. When he can go at a ball on the off side, he edges it just behind gully for four. Bavuma steps on the ball to keep it in play but not only misses but nearly duffs his ankle. Bit dim, that. Four more to Jennings.
7th over: England 26-0 (Cook 7, Jennings 14) Eeeeesh what a delivery from Morkel! Around the wicket to Cook – of course – his giant piston of a right arm sends the ball down off stump before pitching and leading Cook for dead. Can have all the Test runs and all the form in the world – you’re just not nicking those.
Good arvo to John Starbuck: “How many does it take before we see ‘Jennings makes a score’ of sufficient number to ensure he’ll be in the team next Friday?” Excellent question. I’d say a hundred: one where others fall away and he almost single-handedly drags England to a lead of 400. Or a double. Or, he does a word-and-note-perfect rendition of “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”. Bayliss might not have seen much county cricket, but surely he’s watched Top Gun?
6th over: England 26-0 (Cook 7, Jennings 14) “It feels like Jennings is batting with a round bat,” says Nasser. Love it. The middle of Jennings’ bat certainly seems a lot smaller, to us and him. Squirts an four through fine leg off his inside edge, just past his leg stump. England lead by 204
Good afternoon all. Vish here, picking up where Rob left off – in the rain, wondering if we’ll start again on time. How about TRJ? Isn’t he nice? Middlesex fans will bore you with stories of “yeah, but he’s been ready since 2012 etc etc”. And the truth is, yeah, he’s probably been Test quality for a few years now. Though he’s had a few dips that you’d expect with any player and, crucially, he’s had them in county cricket, where you’re not judged as harshly for going a couple of months without a five-for. Anyway, glory to him and to us, as it looks like we’ll be recommencing on time! South Africa do their huddle, Keaton Jennings has a few awkward skips on the spot. Alastair Cook is Alastair Cook.
Before play gets underway, Sky did a bit about South Africa’s tour over here in the 2012: text-gate etc. They showed a few shots of KP’s 149 at Headingley, which was followed by a couple of brilliantly surly media stints with Ian Ward and then the written media. That took the headlines but the innings itself, my word. I think it’s the best I’ve seen him play. That might be blasphemy while OBO-ing an Oval Test. But, seriously - look at the state of it...
That’s it from me. Vish will be your weatherman for the afternoon session. See you after tea!
“Hello Rob!” says Phil West. “If TRJ is too difficult to say easily/quickly then why not just use ‘Trudge’? The real quickies will all say that he’s just trudging in on his run-up so it seems good to me.”
Oh I like that. It also sets up some great opportunities for a theatre tour with Robin Smith.
Yep, we’re going off for an early lunch. It might be a few hours before they return. England lead by 198 runs.
5th over: England 20-0 (Cook 6, Jennings 10) Cook softens his hands to edge Morkel all along the ground for four. These are not easy batting conditions at all, and England won’t be crestfallen if the umpires deem the rain to be too heavy.
“I am in Budapest between sessions of the swimming,” says Adam Roberts. “It’s a gorgeous day and I should get out and see more of the city. But I’m full of cold so following the cricket on TMS and OBO is quite tempting. Can you advise me?”
4th over: England 16-0 (Cook 2, Jennings 9) It’s starting to rain. This would be a dreadful time for the under-pressure Jennings to get out - and he should have gone in that over. First he inside edged a fraction wide of the slips for four; then he edged Philander through the hands of Elgar at third slip. It was a hot one, but Elgar will probably feel he should have taken it. Philander runs off the field at the end of the over, presumably because of an urgent manifestation of his stomach upset.
“Do me a favour and remind John Wright not to get too pissed,” sniffs Rob Wright. “He’s supposed to be going out with me after the match.”
2nd over: England 1-0 (Cook 0, Jennings 1) Jennings has copied Ben Stokes’ plan of batting outside his crease to Philander. His head-to-head record is grisly: two runs, three wickets. Make that three runs, three wickets, by virtue of an overthrow. Who says chivalry is dead? Philander is bowling with considerable menace for a man who spent yesterday in hospital, and only an inside edge saves Cook from being LBW.
“Possibly premature question,” says Robert Taylor. “How do we work Woakes back in? Do we think that his batting prowess alongside TRJ and Broad’s lower order biffing means we can drop a batsman again and push Mo back to 7? Or do we drop Roland-Jones? Surely we can’t leave out Woakes? ARRGH?!?!”
1st over: England 0-0 (Cook 0, Jennings 0) They say it changes when the sun goes down around here, and that’s precisely what’s happened at the Oval. It’s suddenly pretty gloomy, and Morkel’s first ball of the innings is a nasty lifter that rams into Cook’s body. An excellent first over also includes a strangled shout for LBW. It was going down, just like that lovely sun we had this morning.
#TobyRolandJones takes 5-57 on debut. Surely the best figures ever recorded by someone with an accountancy degree from @UniversityLeeds
Bad news for Keaton Jennings. Vernon Philander is on the field
Roland-Jones’ figures, I should have given you those: 16.4-4-57-5. Well played youngish man.
England lead by 178 runs. Roland-Jones leaads the team off a little sheepishly. In the future, his grandkids will be able to give you chapter and verse on the events of 28-29 July 2017.
Well done Toby Roland-Jones! He completes a debut five-for with the wicket of Bavuma, caught behind by Bairstow. It was a fine delivery: full enough to invite the drive, seaming enough to find the edge. Bairstow took a nice low catch to his right. Tremendous stuff from Roland-Jones. He’s the first Englishman to take a five-for on debut since Graham Onions. Not only that, all five wickets were specialist batsmen. He’s seems a thoroughly likeable, modest guy, and you’d have to be an eejit or a South African to not be thrilled for him.
58th over: South Africa 170-9 (Bavuma 52, Philander 5) Philander laces Anderson through the covers for four; then Bavuma is beaten by some pronounced seam movement.
“You open an interesting topic about watching a game again that you have just seen live,” says Jon Saunders. “I did this exact thing recently after the second Lions test match. I live in Wellington and was lucky enough to be there but when I got home I still couldn’t quite believe we’d won so had to watch it again. What other sporting events were so memorable (or frankly unbelievable) that people who have actually witnessed them live have then needed to watch them again immediately upon arriving home (other than Edgbaston 2005)?”
57th over: South Africa 165-9 (Bavuma 52, Philander 0) Bavuma edges the new bowler Roland-Jones along the ground for four to reach a very good half-century, full of pride and ability. He’s got something, this chap. And now he’s going to get a drink.
56th over: South Africa 161-9 (Bavuma 48, Philander 0) Vern walks out to bat, one of the better No11s we’ve seen for a while, and gets straight into line. I don’t suppose bowlers can target a dodgy stomach in the same way you can work over a batsman with, say, a broken hand. Maybe England could shove a rancid fry up at silly point to get in his head.
“Following the blog from a desk in the Seychelles (nice),” says Gareth Heal. “I had a ticket for today but had to give it up to come and work out here for three weeks (tough). Finding it hard to concentrate as they’re setting up a massive sound system for a wedding in the room next door. Having said all of that, sitting in the stands at the Oval today would have been a tidy place to be.”
That’ll do! Jimmy Anderson is too good for Morne Morkel, snapping one off the seam to take the outside edge. Cook tumbles to his right at first slip to take the catch. That was the first delivery Anderson has bowled to Morkel today. Yes, yes, I did tell you so.
55th over: South Africa 161-8 (Bavuma 48, Morkel 17) South Africa were 61 for seven, so this is a fine recovery. They are still miles behind in the game, and it’s hard to say a way back. A draw might be achievable but a victory looks beyond the realms.
“The weather seems to be a major taking point in this Test match,” says Matthew Doherty. “What odds that the crowd will end up helping the grounds that clear the pitch a la Oval 1968.”
54th over: South Africa 160-8 (Bavuma 48, Morkel 16) Anderson replaces Broad. It’s all the same to Bavuma, who launches another lovely drive through extra cover for four. Anderson’s response is predictably stern, a snarling lifter that beats the outside edge. Excellent stuff.
“To be fair,” says William Hargreaves, “Bobby Bacala did have a valid point about the Quarterback of Notre Dame that could have been developed in later episodes.”
53rd over: South Africa 156-8 (Bavuma 44, Morkel 16) Roland-Jones is replaced by ... Moeen Ali. That’s fair enough, with a left-handed tailender like Morkel at the crease, but I bet Anderson has an affronted coupon right now. The first ball skids on to hit the pad and prompt a huge LBW appeal. Aleem Dar says no, England decide not to review, replays show it was missing leg.
Morkel looks much less comfortable against Moeen: he almost drags onto the stumps and then survives a lone appeal from Bairstow for a catch down the leg side. Nobody else appealed at all and so they don’t consider a review. UltraEdge shows it hit the pad.
52nd over: South Africa 156-8 (Bavuma 44, Morkel 16) A flowing cover-driven four from Bavuma off Broad takes South Africa past the follow-on target.
“Just to clarify,” says Laurent Baldoni, “I’m well aware that others have followed this trend, I was more referring to the huge proportion involved in that match in that seven of the ten main bowlers involved had this particular quirk, not just the few names you’ve mentioned over a couple of decades. I wondered if it had anything to with lefty kids being forced to write right-handed in the old days. This happened to me in France as a nipper before I came to England aged 6...”
51st over: South Africa 152-8 (Bavuma 40, Morkel 16) Morkel mows a short ball from Roland-Jones through midwicket for four. It’s fair to say this is a much better day for batting, and so far South Africa have done it excellently.
“Good morning Rob,” says Stephen Cooper. “Michael Holding’s first game in the Lancashire League was played for Rushton (v. Ramsbottom) on 19th April 1981. Hopefully someone has a Cricket Archive subscription and can see the scorecard.”
50th over: South Africa 148-8 (Bavuma 40, Morkel 12) Broad decides it’s time to bounce Morkel from around the wicket. Four byes. He almost gets a wicket later in the over, when Stokes drops Bavuma. It would have been a blinding catch, a mirror image of the Adam Voges catch at Trent Bridge, but he couldn’t hold on as he dived backwards to his left at gully.
“Perhaps Root wants TRJ to get a five-for, hence no Jimmy?” says Paddy Sturdee. “I don’t really hold with putting individual stats before the game - the one that really springs to mind is Cook delaying a declaration at Lord’s for Ballance to get to 3 figures (amazing though that now sounds!). Twenty-four hours later, at stumps on day 5, Sri Lanka were nine down and hanging on for dear life. Is it churlish of me that I never really liked Ballance after that?”
49th over: South Africa 143-8 (Bavuma 40, Morkel 12) Bavuma ignores a series of deliveries in the corridor from Roland-Jones, so it’s a maiden. All series Bavuma has looked like a very good batsman: calm, organised, intelligent, patient and, when he allows himself to attack, pretty darn stylish.
“Was it me or did Michael Vaughan refer to Toblerone E Jones yesterday?” says Tom Levesley. “I’d had a glass of wine by the time I watched the highlights so it made me giggle.”
48th over: South Africa 143-8 (Bavuma 40, Morkel 12) Broad looks a little flat at the moment, and Morkel drags him through mid-on for another boundary. South Africa are 11 runs away from taking the follow-on out of the discussion. Or the equation, if you prefer.
47th over: South Africa 137-8 (Bavuma 40, Morkel 6) A classical on-drive from Bavuma off Roland-Jones brings him his first boundary of the day. After a delay from some bat repairs, he is beaten chasing the kind of trampolining legcutter that dismissed Hashim Amla yesterday. He wasn’t good enough to nick it. I must say, I find it weird that Jimmy Anderson isn’t bowling.
“Good day to you from sunny Barcelona,” says Laurent Baldoni. “I’m actually an exiled member of the MCC and I flew home to watch the Lord’s test. I proceeded to bore my step-brother to death with my fascinating insight, namely that Mo, Stokes, Broad and Jimmy all bowl right and bat left, and for good measure Dawson bowled left and ‘batted’ right for his pair. I then spotted that Morkel and Rabada also bowl right and bat left, a huge proportion of ‘switching’ (yes I just made that up) that I don’t recall from my younger days watching cricket. Can anyone shed any light on this phenomenon or is it just a bizarre coincidence?”
46th over: South Africa 133-8 (Bavuma 36, Morkel 6) It’s all very quiet at the Oval, with the game in that tedious limbo you sometimes get when a top-order batsman and a tailender are together: singles are turned down, the bowling side are only trying to get one batsman out, so not much happens. Bavuma takes a single from the penultimate delivery of Broad’s over - and then Morkel enlivens the tedium with a hearty clout through extra cover for four. Shot, Morne!
“I’m following your comments from a windswept & stormy wet Perth, Australia - more like Cardiff on current weather,” says Allan Trench. “I just googled Toby Roland-Jones in the hope he was Welsh - given it is the England & Wales team after all. We used to have a good history teacher with the surname Roland-Jones back in Wales - who played cricket too..... but this Toby guy is born in Surrey. Damn disappointment.”
45th over: South Africa 128-8 (Bavuma 35, Morkel 2) Toby Roland-Jones opens the bowling at the other end to Temba Bavuma, whose series average of 37 does not quite do justice to some impressive, resourceful batting. Wot no Jimmy? Is it me or is Joe Root asserting his authority over Anderson quite a lot in this series?
Bavuma declines a single from the first ball and accepts one from the last. That’s your lot.
44th over: South Africa 127-8 (Bavuma 34, Morkel 2) Stuart Broad starts the day with a no-ball to Morne Morkel, who then clunks one just short of Moeen at backward point. Vernon Philander is padded up, ready to go. Morkel almost brings him to the crease with the windiest of woofs at a wide floater from Broad.
“It might not be sporting, but surely there is benefit in not enforcing the follow on,” says Richard. “Philander is surely not fit to bowl today, but he might be by day five, and his absence significantly weakens, well, any attack really.”
Which one of you hooked Michael Holding for four sixes?
I meant to publish this yesterday and lost track of time. Can anyone help?
“I think you mean Nostradamus,” says David Manby. “Quasimodo was the hunchback at Notre Dame (the bells the bells).”
It’s a nice sunny day at the Oval, so it should be a better day for batting. I suspect England will bat again even if they have the chance to enforce the follow-on.
South Africa will resume on 126 for eight, needing a further 28 to avoid the follow-on. We don’t yet know whether Vernon Philander will bat at No11. Teams don’t enforce the follow-on so much in a Post Kolkata world but England probably will today if they get the chance, certainly if conditions are anything like as bowler-friendly as they were yesterday.
Excellent review. That’s hitting middle and leg 4/5ths of the way up. Malan done by late swing there. The captain rewarded for replacing Maharaj just as Stokes looked to take him down. Disappointment for Malan, a double-failure on debut. Just as he looked a bit more comfortable too, guiding an earlier delivery down to the backward point boundary.
64th over: England 202-5 (Stokes 16, Bairstow 0). England lead by 380.
Has Morris trapped Malan? Given not out, but du Plessis goes straight upstairs. Stand by.
63rd over: England 195-4 (Malan 6, Stokes 13). England lead by 373. Nearing the half-way mark of the middle session. Malan having a slash to the first, doesn’t get beyond backward point. Looked uppish, but all good. Off strike. Stokes gets the only other run of the over via an edge, but it brings a throw from Rabada to one end, then de Kock the other. Scrappy. Feels like they are keen for the declaration, too. To be fair, Philander right back on it and making it hard for the hosts to add heavy runs as they would have hoped for in this period.
62nd over: England 193-4 (Malan 5, Stokes 12). Atherton insight on the TV explaining how hard it is for captains to shut down a game behind square with a spinner into the rough after Stokes plays a powerful reverse sweep, struck hard as any of the conventional variety. You get four for that every time. In a sight he’s ready to roll, he tries to swipe Maharaj across the line next ball but doesn’t get enough of it, lucky not to find a fielder at deep midwicket. A couple added. And now again, rocking onto the back foot and crunching a shorter delivery past the insight and out to the boundary again. Ten runs in three balls. Lovely shot. Maharaj keeps his cool and gets back into the over with balls Stokes has to defend.
While I keep saying Stokes I keep thinking Strokes. Excellent extract of a book I’m stinging to read ASAP in the paper on Friday detailing The Strokes early days visiting London. Have a look at tea. All the usual suspects getting a run.
61st over: England 183-4 (Malan 5, Stokes 2). Philander keeping Stokes honest, generating a bit off the seam towards Stokes, then away. The all-rounder is up to it, angling a single behind point. He beats Malan with a beauty to finish, again spitting away off the seam. Not convincing from the new man, following it with his hands. Lucky not to edge.
60th over: England 182-4 (Malan 5, Stokes 1). A push from Malan to midwicket gives Stokes another chance, against the potent spin of Majarah. He gets onto a sweep, but hits the sweeper. Malan uses his feet but isn’t able to tick the board over.
Andrew Benton is optimistic: “I’m going for South Africa 128/ 6 at the close today. And they’ll throw the towel in.” The conditions certainly look perfect for Anderson/Broader/TRJ. A lot of ~overhead~, as they say.
59th over: England 180-4 (Malan 4, Stokes 0). Pacey maiden from Philander. That’s better. New man Stokes leaving then defending throughout. Maybe we’ve misjudged this and the declaration is a while away yet? Certainly no white-ball batting as yet.
“Pat Pocock was interviewed on TMS at lunchtime reminiscing about facing two generations of West Indies pace attacks - 76 and 84!,” writes Drew Goldie. “He hardly played a Test in between. Reminded me of his 1984 achievement: he came in at No 11, Allan Lamb in the nineties and hoping upon hope for a century. Could Pocock survive? No-one was betting on it. However, not only did Lamb get to three figures, but as Jim Laker memorable said on telly ‘And Allan Lamb has managed to stay in long enough for Percy Pocock to get a run.’”
58th over: England 180-4 (Malan 4, Stokes 0). Wicket maiden for Maharaj. The batsmen crossed when Root fell, so Malan faced out the remainder. Attempts a little lap sweep thing to end the over, but no contact made.
WICKET Root top edges and is caught at deep mid wicket for 50
He does it with such regularity that I neglected to mention Root raising his 50 in the previous over, but that was his fill, a top edge to deep backward square, easily taken by Morkel, giving Maharaj the second set man in a hurry. Nice from him. The bad news: Stokes’ turn for a frolic.
57th over: England 180-3 (Root 50, Malan 4). Big Vern, as Warne insists on calling him, back into the attack after Morkel’s penetrative spell. Brollies up in the outer though, which isn’t encouraging. Sorry to report that. Far from the best over from Philander, rolling one down at a gentle pace to Hasham Amla at first slip at one stage, running through for a couple of wides. Ten from it after Malan plays a beautiful clip down to wide long-on to open his account. Well, we’ve had a few of those from one debutant in this match already, no better time for the Middlesex first-timer to do the same with a declaration imminent.
56th over: England 173-3 (Root 49, Malan 0). Earned that, Maharaj. And well done to fight back into the set after conceding a boundary first up. Wasn’t his fault, mind, going through Philander’s legs at deep point. A lot to like about the South African spinner’s tour so far.
WICKET Westley stumped after scoring a very good 59
A fine hand, but not surprising to see him fall now after doing it a fair bit harder since lunch. Nicely done from Maharaj, inspiring a day down the track, but Westley tried to adjust into a defensive stroke too late after not getting to the pitch. Did enough to beat the edge, and de Kock was tidy behind the stumps, doing the rest.
55th over: England 165-2 (Westley 59, Root 41). Morkel again from the Pavilion End. An edge from Westley! Soft enough hands to trickle down to the rope. Ends another quality opener from the South African ace. His figures don’t reflect it, but he’s been outstanding at various periods through this Test Match. They’ve had the better of the first 20 minutes.
54th over: England 160-2 (Westley 55, Root 39). Maharaj inspires Westley’s first swing of the bat this session when dropping short. It’s uppish but between the fielders to the rope. A sweeper out there but hit well enough.
53rd over: England 154-2 (Westley 50, Root 39). If they are racing to a declaration then it hasn’t shown in these opening three overs after the interval. To be fair to Morkel though, it’s another penetrative over, drawing the captain forward then pushing him back, earning a false stroke. Inside edge. Back to back maidens from him.
I was distracted by Warne part way through on the telly. Started with some gibberish about women “still” enjoying coming to the cricket. And then this patronisning gem that David Tickner picked up.
"Sure a few of them have been dragged along by hubby." Shane Warne on women at the cricket, 2017.
52nd over: England 154-2 (Westley 50, Root 39). Maharaj it’ll be to begin from the other end. Has Root on the front foot from the get go, throwing it up enough. A push to cover keeps the captain the strike. Still thrilled with his decision to wear his playing shirt to the ground on the tube yesterday morning. That’s leadership.
51st over: England 153-2 (Westley 50, Root 38). Westley happy to watch Morne give it his all in the first after the break. He was removed the in the set following lunch on the first day, so that’s sound logic. Finishes with an on-target bumper. Out of the way he gets like it isn’t even a thing.
Thanks, Vish. So you’re telling me that I’m taking over with Tom Westley on 50 with an hour or so to raise a debut ton? Party Hard.
50th over: England 153-2 (Westley 50, Root 38) Root keeps Maharaj out to take England to lunch with a succession of dead-bat-blocks (a fine Grime album title, if ever I heard one). A commanding position for the hosts and a nice feed in store for Tom Westley, with a maiden half-century under his belt and Licence to Thrill after the break. Adam Collins will be with you shortly...
49th over: England 153-2 (Westley 50, Root 38) Calm after the milestone sees Westley play out a maiden to Morne Morkel. Good afternoon, Simon McMahon. “Afternoon Vish. Is Gary Naylor real? A friend once told me ‘I don’t believe in God, but I’m afraid of him’. Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Gary Naylor.” The greatest trick Gary Naylor ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn’t exist. And that T20 cricket would lead to a team of eleven David Husseys.
50s on Eng debut @ no3 (since war) 50* WESTLEY 88 O Shah 2006 94 J Russell 1988 (n/watch) 50 D Steele 1975 55* M Denness 1969 138 P May 1951
48th over: England 153-2 (Westley 50, Root 38) Couple from the over as Root has the temerity to cut too close and beat Dean Elgar at first slip. The lead is 331.
@Vitu_E Please tell me they won't bat beyond a lead of 400?
Watch him whip
FIFTY! Debutant @Westley21 brings up his first Test half-century with a four!
47th over: England 151-2 (Westley 50, Root 36) A drive into the covers and a couple of big plays and misses sees Joe Root walk down to Tom Westley and tell him to chill his beans. Westley’s desperate for that boundary to move to his maiden half-century.... and there it is! Glorious pick-up through midwicket by Westley. It’s been a bit of graft but its his signature whip. It’s come off 119 balls, with nine fours.
Telegram for Fred in Montenegro, from Mark Dexter: “Can you please tell Fred in Montenegro that he’s probably the only reader old enough to remember the days when the oval nearly went bust. And also not to forget his old cricket banter buddies on WhatsApp, we’re not that ignorant really.”
46th over: England 147-2 (Westley 46. Root 36) Maharaj to Root this time. Just three balls, though, as Root skips down and gets a single between the men in at midwicket and square leg (there is a deeper sweeper for that slog sweep). Westley drives nicely again through wide mid on for his single.
45th over: England 145-2 (Westley 45, Root 35) Excellent stattage on Vernon Philander, just then on the TV coverage. When he seams the ball, he’s averaging 14. But when it’s swinging, that rises to nearly 44. Just as Rabada gets a bit of shape away, Westley times nicely through the covers for a couple.
Might I add Connor MacLeod - Highlander - to John Starbuck's list of Naylors? @Vitu_E
44th over: England 143-2 (Westley 43, Root 35) Maharaj v Westley will be a decent bout. TW is one of those that likes to use his feet and upset the spinner’s length so he can then hang back and pick off square. Also drives through midwicket very well, which is how he pinches the strike at the end of the over.
43rd over: England 142-2 (Westley 42, Root 35) For a moment, I thought we were getting our first sight of spin. But just as Keshav Maharaj was getting ready to turn his arm over, he’s yanked form the attack and Rabada is given a go. And for good reason as a number of deliveries dip in and leave the England captain. Ah, here we go – Maharaj is going to come on from the Pavilion End instead.
42nd over: England 140-2 (Westley 41, Root 34) Root looking to push things along, trying to find spaces in the off side for ones and twos. “It’s not cowardly to pray for rain if one’s an SA supporter, is it?” asks Richard Mansell. Of course not. How do you think England fans spent the 90s?
41st over: England 139-2 (Westley 41, Root 33) Finally, Westley gets his chance. Philander isn’t quite on the money and allows the right-hander to take him backward of point for four. Philander gets a bit back through when Westley plays and misses at the final delivery. One-all.
@Vitu_E we're Hillary's missing emails actually all of @garynaylor999's emails to the OBO?
40th over: England 132-2 (Westley 37, Root 32) Just as it was in the first England innings, any control that South Africa are getting from one end is being released by Chris Morris at the other. Starts with an over-pitched delivery on Root’s toes and, well, you know the rest. Even an inside edge brings two as Root runs both hard to ensure he’s well in at the danger end. Two balls later, a belting late cut takes Root into the thirties. 11 from the over!
39th over: England 123-2 (Westley 37. Root 21) Another maiden. I get that there’s no rush and all, but no harm in rotating the strike once in a while, lads. I’ve not looked at the forecast – oh look, it’s started to rain – but an extra 100 is the game, shirley? “There’s plenty of evidence for a ‘Gary Naylor’-style character,” writes John Starbuck. “Woody Allen’s ‘Zelig’ was a case in point, also made by various ‘Red Dwarf’ episodes. Then there’s the Flying Dutchman and Melmoth the Wanderer, not to mention Michael Moorcock’s Eternal Champion and Rincewind, Terry Pratchett’s Eternal Coward. All guaranteed roles for a Naylor.”
38th over: England 123-2 (Westley 37, Root 21) We were on the cusp of two maidens in a row before Morris drops his last one short and Root thrashes him through point to the man out in the deep for nicks two. The lead is now 301. Phil Sawyer on email: “Gary Naylor told the primordial soup, ‘You know, you might want to think about forming complex organic polymers. Also, I need someone to talk to about batting averages, so look lively’.”
37th over: England 121-2 (Westley 37, Root 19) You can tell Westley really wants to throw his hands at Philander. Not literally, of course. He’s not at Chelmsford anymore. So far, good restraint as he watches those 75mph outswingers pass him by. Maiden.
An email from Willian Hargreas: “ ‘Gary Naylor told my parents that I wanted to become a sports journalist.’ A bit like the way Trump gets Rex Tillerson (with a name like that, shouldn’t he have starred in “Shaft”?) to break news to Xi Jinping?” Not too dissimilar at all. And with just as much fallout.
I’ll leave it to the man himself to set #NaylorsFault off:
"We're going with Gavin Hamilton for this one..." @Vitu_E
36th over: England 121-2 (Westley 37, Root 19) Rabada has some time to cool off as Chris Morris picks up his work from the Vauxhall End. His fuller length allows Joe Root to drive nicely through the covers and beat the man at deep point. Four and drinks.
“Is Westley playing himself a ticket to Australia?” asks Paddy Sturdee. “Few better places to do it than at the other end from the captain, just as there are few worse places to look hideously out of depth than at the other end from the ex-captain.” Yeah, I’d say so. Looks very assured. I think a lot of time people who get thrown into number three, without having batted their before, often try and do an impression of a number three. And often they skew too far towards the openers side of the job rather than the middle-order aspects of the job. Westley is very much a “No.4” number three. “If he’s out before you read this, I’m blaming you - ok?” Deal.
35th over: England 115-2 (Westley 36, Root 14) It’s really hooping for Philander from the Pavilion End. The only issue is that it’s moving straight from the hand, so both right-handers see it coming. I wonder what other news Gary Naylor has delivered over the years. I’m imagining him – “imagining” – as a Ra’s al Ghultype character: an immortal figure waltzing through history and beyond, generally being a pest. Gary Naylor told the Trojans a giant, wooden horse “would really spruce the place up”.
34th over: England 114-2 (Westley 36, Root 13) Very good from Westley. He gets a drive away through midwicket for four, which he meant to place a lot straighter, but is quick on the Rabada yorker, digging it out well to close out a solid over. Engaging cricket between these two.
Back comes Robert Wilson: “I am perfectly well aware that Gary Naylor does not actually exist. His is the name that you OBO scribes use when you want to take a swipe at cheeky punters and is also a blameless conduit for your feebler jokes that don’t quite make the first cut. I have my doubts about Kim Thonger as well. I mean; come on.” It’s true – we use him for delivering bad news, too. Gary Naylor told my parents that I wanted to become a sports journalist.
33rd over: England 109-2 (Westley 32, Root 12) Vernon Philander into the attack for the first time today. He spent the night on a drip which isn’t ideal preparation for a day’s Test cricket (unless it’s filled with fortified milk, of course). Root, soft hands, edges his first delivery through the gap at gully for four.
32nd over: England 104-2 (Westley 32, Root 7) Rabada ticking and Westley is exactly the type to play ball. Maybe you’d call it “taking the bait”. But he backs himself in these kinds of encounters. He’s a cool customer but is one of those batsmen that loves to irritate bowlers with a bit of ambivalence. “Oh, sorry – didn’t meant to drive you through the off side. Good ball though, champ.” Root just sticks to his strengths and picks off one on his toes through midwicket for four.
31st over: England 99-2 (Westley 32, Root 2) Some obsession over Morne Morkel’s grip/claw which allows him to get such effective action on the ball.
John Starbuck chimes in to the great booze debate: “If you mix rum into milk, the latter curdles instantly. Does the chocolate prevent this? A more scientific OBO reader than me should be able to explain it. I do know that England fast bowlers tend to drink fortified milk at the tea break.” Thank you thank you thank you for sending my brain to this forgotten part of YouTube. Benaud and Milo. What a man, what an ad.
30th over: England 98-2 (Westley 32, Root 1) Rabada’s getting a bit eggy and tries to entice Root into a bit of a battle. The England captain acknowledges his advances and, instead, opens the face into a drive to find the man out at deep point for a single. Fred Freeman-Edmonson emails from a pool in Porto Montenegro: “As a child of about 12 in the 80s (I think) I remember there being a threat of closure hanging over The Oval and I sent a £5 cheque to help. I received a thank you letter and then Fosters stepped in. Can anyone else remember Oval troubles?” I’m going to throw that out to the OBO public as, *sniffs, looks into the distance, dons a smirk* that’s a bit before my time.
29th over: England 97-2 (Westley 32, Root 0) Rabada decides he wants to test Westley’s ducking ability with a succession of bouncers. The last one is the worst, clearing Westley and nearly Quinton de Kock behind the stumps. Wide. Big fan of the subject of Brian Withington’s email: “Soothsayer Nasser”...
“I can’t help but notice how often Nasser says something in commentary that is then borne out by a passage of play (Jennings wicket). Either he has made a pact with the devil (of the non-Murdoch variety) or he knows a thing or two about this game. Pick of the bunch in my opinion.” Agreed. Doesn’t waste words (he’ll never make an OBOer) and always informs (yep, no chance).
28th over: England 96-2 (Westley 32, Root 0) Quite good watching these two right-handers together. Root’s by the (coaching) book, Westley’s the wristy maverick. There’s some fan fiction in there, somewhere. An open-faced drive pinches three into the off side as South Africa’s fielders struggle to cope on this slick outfield.
“My dear chap,” replies Kim Thonger, from Over 24. Think I’m in trouble. “Chocolate milk should only EVER be drunk if it contains a tot of rum. Surely you’ve READ the laws of cricket?” I assume Kim means “unless it contains a tot of rum”. Not too sure. I can smell the sherry from here.
27th over: England 93-2 (Westley 29, Root 0) Westley picks up his first run of the morning with a single off his inside edge. South Africa have given him a lot to leave but little to whip.
I was tempted to reply to Robert Wilson's point by saying “It’s hackey, by the way not hacky”, but would never stoop so low @Vitu_E.
26th over: England 92-2 (Westley 28) And there goes Jennings. It probably won’t be enough to save his Test career, but it was a gutsy 48 nonetheless. England lead by 270.
“DON’T let people correct your French,” writes Rob Wilson. “Tell them it’s a neologism or mere comedy dash. I write for the Froggy papers of record. I slip in a new minting at least once a month (little of it repeatable in the maidenly Guardian). I’ve invented my own ‘ism’. The French lap it up. So stand up for yourself; mon pote.”
Soz, Keaton. A tough, 78-ball innings comes to an end. Nasser had just done a bit about how Jennings stands quite tall and doesn’t quite get fully forward. Maybe Rabada caught wind: a shorter ball catches Jennings in his stance. He tries to drop his hands but can only skew into the cordon.
25th over: England 92-1 (Jennings 48, Westley 28) Jennings motoring! Sort of. A couple of edges – the second off a misjudged drive – bring him boundaries behind point. He probably won’t want this innings framed, Jennings, but he’ll take the fifty when it comes. It’ll be his third score of fifty or more in Test cricket.
24th over: England 81-1 (Jennings 37, Westley 28) Jennings again nabs a single to the leg side. This one a bit straighter and a well judged tip-and-run. Kwik Cricket lives.
“An omen from my pantry,” writes Kim Thonger. “While ‘dusting’ I just dropped a large almost full bottle of rather decent sherry on the stone floor, spent fifteen minutes clearing up millions of shards of green glass, and now smell like the town of Jerez. So the day can’t get any worse and I confidently predict a big England total. Besides, if they do collapse, I’ve no sherry left to drown my sorrows.” Two things: slightly confused that dusting is in quotation marks but will assume it’s because you are not very good at it. Which, I suppose, explains what followed. Secondly – other drinks effectively drown sorrows too, no? Chocolate milk, for one.
23rd over: England 80-1 (Jennings 36, Westley 28) Morne Morkel – after yesterday’s discussions, have we officially pinned him as a Tolkein lacky? – opens up from the other end. His ball to dismiss Alastair Cook yesterday should be put on display. It really was that good. Jennings again tips one to the leg side and sets off. Meanwhile, get your chompers around this stat:
Westley has now shared 50+ stands with both ENG openers. ENG had 17 2nd wkt partnerships in 83 innings since Trott left 13/14 Ashes. #ENGvSA
22nd over: England 79-1 (Jennings 35, Westley 28) Four balls to finish off this over. Five runs from them, as Jennings nabs a single into the leg side before Westley works Rabada off his hip – thigh pad, actually – for four.
Polish off the last couple of emails before play begins: Ian F has corrected my French. Thanks buckets. Thomas Upchurch, live and direct from Greece, is wondering if there is an overseas link for Test Match Special. There is, Thomas:
“Carl Weathers is an actor who’s entire body of work should be re-evaluated in a post-Arrested Development light,” starts David Horn. I’m all eyes. “If you picture him in Rocky, or Predator, issuing any of his memorable lines, then drawing slightly closer in and saying ‘ ... then, you’ve got yourself a stew going’, I think we’ll all judge him more kindly.”
Yes, one of those great movie bastards that mellowed with AD.
Morning to Duncan Stackhouse: “I’ve been interested by the talk of TRJ over the last couple of days and saying he’s a little old for a bowler to be making his test debut, saying it’s not generally a good sign to be pushing 30 (although as a 28yo I maintain that it’s still mid-twenties). Think Martin Saggers.
“I can’t claim to have watched a lot of him – a consequence of not wanting to pay Rupert Murdoch any money – but as far as I can tell he bowls mid 80s and moves the ball a little. I think instead of focusing on the Saggers of this world, why not consider a man who made his ‘proper’ debut at 29, Ryan Sidebottom. Yeah, there was a couple of tests in 2001, but he really started in 2007 and finished his 22 tests with an average of 28.24 and an economy of 2.78. Here’s hoping here’s more Sidebottom than Saggers.”
In domestic news, Paul Allot, once on the board at Lancashire, will now be the county’s director of cricket:
Grand morning to you all in the OBO world. Vish here, taking you through the first session of the day. I’ll be joined by Australian man of all that he surveys, Adam Collins, after lunch. Just last week, we were together at Lord’s for the culmination of the Women’s World Cup. What a special day that was. Expecting some equally good cricket today. Keaton Jennings and Tom Westley return this morning, with unbeaten starts to their names.
The theme of Jennings’ 34* was very much survival. Think the opening scene of Robocop. Westley, on the other hand, was wading through the jungle, shooting at anything that moved, like Carl Weathers in Predator. Interesting tidbit – did you know Carl Weathers had a stint in the NFL? True story:
Hello. Vish will be here soon. Here’s Vic Marks on Saturday’s rain-affected action:
The equation has a familiar ring. The side batting last in this Test will be required to bat for more than four sessions to avoid defeat. So far in the series that has been way beyond the capacity of the batsmen. At Lord’s England won by 211 runs; at Trent Bridge South Africa prevailed by 340.
Will it be just as straightforward at the Oval? If the South African top order shows the resolve displayed by their tailenders there may just be a contest on Sunday and Monday rather than the processions we witnessed in the first two Tests.
A hat-trick from Moeen Ali, the first at the Oval in 100 Tests and the first by an England men’s team spinner since 1938, finished off South Africa and gave England an unassailable 2-1 series lead
So I guess that’s another Test in the books - and a lot of fun it’s been too, if not close enough for long enough. It’s possible England might, in a few years, identify it as the one which evidenced their collective maturity, but in the meantime we’ll see what happens on Friday at Old Trafford. Bye!
Man of the match is Ben Stokes; I’d have gone for Cook or Roland-Jones myself, now that you ask.
Root says all the debutants went well - Malan got two good balls, and the other two made big contributions. He says it’ll be hard for Roland-Jones to top what he did, but he’s mature and level-headed.
“What a way to celebrate the hundredth Test at this ground,” says Joe Root. He says his team found a good tempo batting in the first innings, a template to follow, and always felt that they were ahead of the game after bowling on that Friday.
He says his batters can look at how Elgar batted, and he’s proud of how his team competed today.
Athers asks if Faf would’ve liked a game between Tests - he says he would.
Du Plessis starts his interview by lamenting the absence of Philander in the first innings, but also says that England did very well to be only four down in those conditions. He then says that Philander is so good you pick him when he’s not fully fit and the plan was to win the toss and bat - bloody hell.
I’m wrong!“I’m fairly sure that hat tricks don’t carry over from one Test to another,” says Alastair Ferguson. “Either Sky or TMS recently mentioned this point — not in this series but during the winter against India.”
“If Stokes had taken the last wicket in the penultimate over,” emails Adrian Chaffey, would Moeen still have been on a hatrick next week? And if so, had this been the last test of the series, would he have still been on a hat-trick when he started to bowl to another team in the next series?”
I think the answer is yes on both counts.
“A great moment for the bowler, as any hat-trick is,” says Gervase Green,“but I don’t think the officiating umpire will look back on that moment of history with fondness. Nor might others. Moeen Ali’s front foot is about half a metre behind the bowling crease (can’t be too careful), the ball lands in line with middle stump, the bat misses it by the width of a Kaboom! bat (indeed I don’t think Morne was even remotely interested in making contact), it does not deviate, and would have hit middle stump about, er, halfway up. Middle and leg if you believe it might have turned a smidgeon (which it didn’t). The verdict at such a historic moment? ‘Er, review please.’ I mean, really!”
On the plus side, it meant that Moeen had all his mates around him when the decision came, which made for a very special moment.
Shaun Pollock reckons South Africa needed another game between the 2nd and 3rd Tests. I suppose that’s the way of things these days; this should also be a five-match series.
“Four Golden ducks in an innings,” emails Philip Taylor. “Is this a new record?”
South Africa will feel that they let England get away from them in the first innings - 353 was a a very good score in the conditions. On the other hand, Cook and Stokes batted very well indeed, and when that happens you’d expect England to win most matches.
Moeen’s hat-trick is the first by an England spinner since Tom Goddard in 1938-39.
I’m not quite sure what the umpire thought he saw there, that was plumb. And it means that England retain the Basil D’Oliveira trophy whatever happens at Old Trafford.
Morkel lbw b Ali 0 (South Africa 252 all out)
No bat....
...the England players are gathered around Moeen...
That looked very close!
77th over: South Africa 252-9 (Maharaj 24, Morkel 0) Stokes dutifully rushes through an over full of menace, making Maharaj as uncomfortable as possible without being so rude as to take his wicket - though it nearly happens anyway when the final ball is edged into the thigh-pad. The left-handed Morkel is on strike...
76th over: South Africa 252-9 (Maharaj 24, Morkel 0) Well, Moeen’s on a hatty if Stokes can’t clean house in the next over.
Moeen’s on a hatty! As though the last three minutes never happened, Rabada drives in slowmotion, edges, and Stokes sniggers as the ball arrows into his grasp.
Burned from the previous ball, Elgar just plays at a slightly slower and fuller one, opening the face and sending a catch to slip. What an innings that was, tough, clever and competent; plenty for his team-mates to contemplate.
76th over: South Africa 245-7 (Elgar 136, Maharaj 24) Moeen hits just before the rough, so Elgar can’t decide whether or not it’s going to spin or straight on and the ball leaves him before he can offer a response.
75th over: South Africa 245-7 (Elgar 135, Maharaj 24) Into the attack comes Ben Stokes as, in commentary, they ponder the introduction of Malan’s leg spin before the new ball falls due. Can new balls fall due? Root wants Stokes bowling short, deciding Maharaj doesn’t fancy it, and being the new kid, Malan finds himself under the lid at short leg, rather than at the top of his mark with a nut.
74th over: South Africa 245-7 (Elgar 135, Maharaj 24) Moeen misses the footmarks and Maharaj is never letting that one go, stepping back and away to cut four to backward point. To further rub things in, Cook fails to stop a single and Elgar adds another; this partnership is already 40. Moeen responds well, beating Mahraj with one which goes on with the arm.
73rd over: South Africa 245-7 (Elgar 134, Maharaj 19) Maharaj is starting to enjoy himself, offering his edge to one from Roland-Jones which somehow penetrates a remarkably tight slip cordon and races away for four. He’s coming around to Elgar now, who waves at a wide one and adds two more, before the suddenly expensive bowler retaliates with a lovely ball that leaves him and beats his outside edge.
71st over: South Africa 233-7 (Elgar 127, Maharaj 14) My system crashes and returns just in time for me to report that Moeen bowled what Warne deemed a nice over.
70th over: South Africa 232-7 (Elgar 126, Maharaj 14) Two lovely drives from Maharaj, both through the covers, both adding four, prompt Roland-Jones to try a short one; it duly cuts his man in half. That was well delivered, but the batsman gets his own back when a few pigeons fly across the square and he sends ToRoJo, as he’d be called in Manhattan, back to his mark. Is it possible to get the yips with that, as in each time a bowler ran in, psychologically, you couldn’t not send him back? Anyway, Maharaj flashes at one and carves four over point.
69th over: South Africa 224-7 (Elgar 126, Maharaj 2) Moeen is bowling tidily here, but Elgar takes a three to keep the score moving.
“Just thought I’d let you know that Sean C’s maths was wrong,” chides Andrew Bisgrove. “Very. I’m available for lessons (maths, not cricket) if needed.”
68th over: South Africa 217-7 (Elgar 123, Maharaj 2) Elgar takes one from outside off and forces it around the corner; it gets him four. And look at that! Roland-Jones slings down a straight one, so Elgar walks into it, striking the pose and on-driving four before vogueing with his bat.
67th over: South Africa 208-7 (Elgar 115, Maharaj 1) Moeen finds a good line just outside off, looking for the footmarks; Elgar can’t hit the ball off the square, and that’s a maiden.
66th over: South Africa 208-7 (Elgar 115, Maharaj 1) Elgar’s innings has been “full of passion,” reckons Shane Warne. Is he qualified to play football for England, by any chance? Anyway, the batsmen take a single each, then Elgar bangs down into the off side to keep the strike; presumably it’ll be Moeen having a shy at him.
Roland-Jones has the ball...
“I urge anyone who didn’t hear Aggers winding up Boycott on TMS from about 12:30 onwards to have a listen,” emails Michael Hudson. “Amazing .”
Here it is ... I’m listening to it now, as it happens....
Right then, we’re almost ready to go again.
So, a great morning for England, who’ve “stayed patient” in decent batting conditions and are surely not far from victory now. A burst from Toby Roland-Jones more or less settled things – what a match he’s had – and he now needs two of the three remaining wickets for ten-fer in the match. See you in 40!
A Rooty bonus for England! The final ball of the morning goes on with arm, Morris misjudges, and Stokes dives left to snaffle the resultant edge.
65th over: South Africa 205-6 (Elgar 113, Morris 24) How unbadly hurt must someone be for it to be socially acceptable to enjoy their pain? Anyway Moeen will bowl the final over of the session, cunning Joe, and Morris edges his first ball! But it hits Bairstow’s knee ... that was a tough chance.
65th over: South Africa 205-6 (Elgar 113, Morris 24) Morris’ highest score in Tests is 69; there are plenty of overs left for him to beat that and then some. But it’s Elgar facing Anderson, and when he leaves one which keeps low, it scuttles off for four byes, quickly augmented by two to square leg. But there’s a price: a miscued drive from the final delivery sends aftershocks rippling through his bad finger. Don’t laugh.
64th over: South Africa 199-6 (Elgar 111, Morris 24) Morris is not finding things especially tough out there, and he drives Broad on the up and down the ground; four. Anderson is now stood right next to the non-striker, close enough to tickle his inner thigh, but it makes no odds when the next two runs are scored towards point.
63rd over: South Africa 193-6 (Elgar 111, Morris 18) Elgar twists Anderson for four through midwicket; he’s been in very little trouble this morning, which does not speak well of his team-mates.
“Re 67.34%,” says Sean C, ‘No’. “Given that batsmen other than Elgar have already scored 76 runs he would have to score every single run to a total of 280 (175 for himself) to achieve that %.”
62nd over: South Africa 189-6 (Elgar 107, Morris 18) Broad replaces Roland-Jones, so, the OBO’s top Rolands:
Ro-land from Grange Hill
61st over: South Africa 187-6 (Elgar 107, Morris 16) England would much rather have Anderson bowl at Morris, I shouldn’t wonder - and, when he was on, Moeen bowl at the left-handed Elgar. Elgar plays out a maiden.
60th over: South Africa 187-6 (Elgar 107, Morris 16) Elgar nurdles a single, and England now have four men behind the wicket for Morris; he promptly edges four on the on side.
59th over: South Africa 182-6 (Elgar 106, Morris 12) Elgar tries turning Anderson off his hip, misses, and they run a leg-bye; five dots follow. In commentary, they wonder if Bavuma might open in the next Test.
58th over: South Africa 181-6 (Elgar 106, Morris 12) Ro-land-Jones returns at the other end and Elgar defends his way through another maiden.
“Just to tie things together neatly,” ties together neatly Michael Hunt, “in his teaching capacity John Lever was one of those who insisted that the door open to the snow outside was essential for our safety during swimming. I assume in case the pool started boiling and snow was required to cool it or somesuch.”
57th over: South Africa 182-6 (Elgar 106, Morris 12) England’s third-change bowler is on, some trundler called Anderson. He’s a little off-line to begin with, despite having a whole over at Morris, but his final delivery is far too nifty for yerman, nipping past the outside edge.
“The subject of bleep tests and PE lessons has rekindled a long since dormant memory from my childhood days,” emails Mark Lewis. “During our annual (yes, ANNUAL) bleep test in PE, the best footballer and all-round fittest chap in our inner-city comp surprisingly bowed out during the 11th level, with clearly plenty still left in the tank. When asked why he had taken his early leave, he replied that he only wanted to get past level 10. And therefore beat Tony Adams – who apparently only got to level 10 that same summer. This was the mid-90’s after all…”
56th over: South Africa 181-6 (Elgar 106, Morris 12) Moeen gives Morris some room, which he uses to free his arms ... and the rest follows, mashing the ball through cover for four. Two more follow by way of edge, and then when Root inserts another man behind the wicket, he drives over mid off for four more. Ten from the over.
55th over: South Africa 171-6 (Elgar 106, Morris 2) Roland-Jones must be ganting on a go at Morris, but instead has to hurl six spheres - well, the same sphere, six times - Elgar, who sees them - it - away easily enough. Maiden.
54th over: South Africa 171-6 (Elgar 106, Morris 2) Morris gets off the mark with a bunt to cover; they run two, which is all the scoring for the over.
“I’m with Andy Cooke,” says Robert Wolf Petersen “(and I can’t believe you didn’t mention my monkey story--it had a monkey in it!).
53rd over: South Africa 169-6 (Elgar 106, Morris 0) The last England bowler to take 10 wickets on debut was John Lever in India in 1976; T-RoJo needs two more for that, though numbers aren’t everything; who can forget the thrill of Peter Such and Neil Mallender’s first efforts? Anyway Elgar flicks the first ball of his over high through square-leg for four, the only runs from the over.
52nd over: South Africa 165-6 (Elgar 102, Morris 0) It won’t feel as sweet as it would’ve done had he nailed that full toss ten minutes ago, but Elgar hits Moeen over mid off and there’s his century; well batted sir.
“One thing that’s always frustrated me is when commentators and players seem to look at the wrong stat to inflate scoreboard pressure,” emails Andy Cooke. “The one I’m thinking of is mainly the ‘amount of runs needed to win in the fourth innings”.
51st over: South Africa 160-6 (Elgar 97, Morris 0) Just the double-wicket-maiden then ... pathetic. England have used four bowlers this morning, and Jimmy Anderson hasn’t been any of them.
It’s a good ball and all, Morris edges ... and it drops short of Stokes in the gully!
Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap...
Tobias Skelton Roland-Jones is on a hatty!
Oh dear, dear, dear dearie me! Philander shoulders arms to his first ball, a straight one which nips back in off a length and it’s so adjacent he may as well walk. Instead he asks Elgar about a review and seconds later is off his bike. Tobias Skelton Roland-Jones!
Great review from Root - that’ll always be an odd thing to type or say - but the ball was hitting the top of middle. Bavuma played forward, didn’t get outside the line, and didn’t get an edge either. The end is nigh.
...it looks a goodun from here...
50th over: South Africa 160-4 (Elgar 97, Bavuma 32) Elgar misses out on completing his hundred by way of clouted full toss; he’s annoyed. But they run one, Bavuma adds one more, and England need something; well, sort of. There’s not much left after this partnership, which is how they’ll be consoling themselves currently.
49th over: South Africa 158-4 (Elgar 96, Bavuma 31) Roland-Jones looks not unlike Mike Watkinson, of two styles of bowling fame, but despite that he’s soon fetching four, no more than pushed down the ground by Elgar, five away from what will be a very fine ton; four away following a single and an unconscionably long sentence.
48th over: South Africa 151-4 (Elgar 91, Bavuma 31) On comes Moeen; Bavuma drives his second ball through point for one to raise the hunnert partnership. That’s all for the over.
“Our A-level PE class was quite small,” says Tom Ireland, “and the boys once ended up playing a totally pointless game of 4 a-side rugby in driving rain. Our teacher had never thought particularly highly of us as a class and was berating us for our half-hearted efforts. When he grabbed the ball to demonstrate some kind of jinking run, the only one of us who actually played rugby – a huge, quiet county player who used to rip apples in half with his hands – decided he’d had enough. He not only tackled the teacher ludicrously hard, but lifted him off his feet and dumped him on his head in the mud off the side of the pitch. I think the teacher squeaked ‘good tackle’ or something as everyone laughed their head off.”
47th over: South Africa 151-4 (Elgar 91, Bavuma 30) Tobias Skelton Roland-Jones is into the attack. I wonder what will become of him; he’s not young and medium pace gets whacked in Australia, but on the other hand, the OBO’s Vish Ehantharajah noted that in country cricket, he gets good batsmen out on flat tracks. Meanwhile, Beefy is in commentary, apparently recovered from his turn on the radio this morning; he was not happy, no he was not.
“Regarding cricket, rap, and Straight Outta Denis Compton, I’m afraid someone got there way ahead of you,” emails Phil Sawyer.
46th over: South Africa 150-4 (Elgar 91, Bavuma 29) Bavuma shoves three to extra cover, then Elgar moseys into the 90s with two turned into the on side. The batsmen look in control.
“Back in the days before the whole duty of care malarkey kicked in and teachers were forced to actually show a little human decency/compassion I endured a particularly pleasant lesson,” emails Phil Withall. “The school sports fields were up on the moors above Sheffield and were exposed to the brunt of a Yorkshire winter. If the bus could make it there the lesson would go ahead irrespective of the weather. During a particularly heavy period of snow we were forced to run a cross country course that included going through waist deep snowdrifts. Obviously hot showers were forced on us all.
45th over: South Africa 145-4 (Elgar 89, Bavuma 26) England have had enough of nothing happening, so put in a short leg and two men out on the pull. Or, put another way, he’s suggesting that he and Elgar whack their stones on the table and be done with it. The over begins with three dots, and then Elgar opens the face to earn four ... off a no ball. You’ve got to laugh.
44th over: South Africa 140-4 (Elgar 85, Bavuma 26) Broad hangs a few outside off, England’s general tactic against Bavuma. This earns him a maiden.
“Straight Outta Denis Compton,” begins Ben Collier. “If you’re going to rap about cricket … surely MC C”.
43rd over: South Africa 140-4 (Elgar 85, Bavuma 26) Stokes is really pacing in now, and coming around to Elgar he crunches that bruised finger against the handle. Eeek! Then comes a dot and two shorter ones ... both pulled hard to the fence for four.
“Like, I suspect, many OBOers I wasn’t much of an athlete at school,” says Peter Salmon; perhaps he was a golfer. “One day the class was made to play ‘poison ball’ – you know the game where kids stand at either end of a court and hurl a ball at the one’s in the middle, trying to hurt them. If you get hot, you go to the end and join the chuckers. Last one left wins.
42nd over: South Africa 132-4 (Elgar 77, Bavuma 26) Broad, your man for 4th innings wickets, forces one past Bavuma’s outside edge - he leaves it, I think, which is some pretty nifty judgment given its proximity to his off peg. Next ball, he turns off his pads and it krichs over the rope at square-leg for four.
41st over: South Africa 127-4 (Elgar 76, Bavuma 22) Bavuma drives through cover for three, then Elgar nurdles a single to long leg. The camera angle is very unkind to Stokes’ pate; I think it might be time for a one all over. The batsmen look determined here; England will have to work for it.
40th over: South Africa 123-4 (Elgar 75, Bavuma 19) Broad will open up from the other end, and quickly asks the question when leg-side filth takes some kind of something on its way to Bairstow. There was a sound, and Bairstow went up, but they eschew a review, which is a couplet I’m saving for when I become an MC and rap about cricket. I’ll let you know when I come up with a suitable pseudonym, MC Liveblog or whatever. Anyway, feel free to send in your bars; two off the over while, in commentary, they’re still investigating that earlier catch behind.
39th over: South Africa 121-4 (Elgar 73, Bavuma 19) There is something slightly odd about Test matches finishing in front of hardly anyone; of all the various ideas to sustain the format, it’s hard to argue against Wednesday starts, I’d say. Bavuma turns three into the on side then Elgar nudges one, and the batsmen looked comfortable there. I wonder if we’ll see Moeen presently; Root was out looking at footmarks earlier.
The players are out; Ben Stokes has the ball.
“An enduring PE memory is having our Wednesday afternoon washed out so we were restricted to the gym,” recalls Ian Copestake, “and for some reason the PE/Geography teacher (obviously) had no wish to exert us in any way. Instead out was wheeled the VCR and we all watched Midnight Express. The said PE teacher sensed something might have gone awry in the choice of film when teenage giggling led him to check our viewing progress in time to fast forward as the protagonist received an x-rated prison visit from his wife.”
My old fella taught at the school to which I went (more painful for him than for me) and once came into a room during the royal penis scene of Coming To America.
“You could have a result where it looks like it is a sure thing based on the numbers - but isn’t,” emails Adrian Goldman. “For instance, the game at Edgbaston last year went deep into the 5th day before England took the last wicket. So, though England won by 141 runs, a few more overs ?15? and it would have been a draw. There are other such examples; this was just the one that crossed my mind.”
Yes, that’s fair. But we are still seeing far too many capitulations for my taste.
“I have a not-very-thought-through theory that cricket has a great deal in common with the bleep test,” emails Michael Hunt. It makes you sick? You skive it to smoke in the bushes?
“Obviously running up and down fits neatly with this theory, but it is less about that and more about the requirement of failure. There is no way to win the bleep test, even outdoing the pudgy and unwilling and being the last one going just means that there are more eyes on you for your eventual failure. And in cricket, batting is prolonging the time and score until you fall. The vast majority of the greatest batting achievements still end in personal if not team failure. You get applause on achieving your ton, but for the full reception you have to fail, fall and leave, unsure whether to smile at achievement or trudge at failure. You don’t even get a career average without failing at least once.
“Re: Stokes and Westley’s ‘proper Test match batting’, emails Peter Hughes. “I’ve found the seesawing of opinion on England’s approach to batting a bit fickle. Too much nurdling of runs and they’re ‘unimaginative and conservative’. Too much aggression in taking it to the opposition and they’re ‘not respecting Test cricket’.
My unfortunately clear memory of growing up watching us being thrashed by the Aussies was their ability to read the ebbs and flows of the game; unleashing a dispiriting barrage of shots just when you thought you had them on the ropes. This is where I reckon the English batsmen could get a bit cuter (not that they don’t have more chiselled jaws amongst them than a boatload of sailors come to port). Stokes seemed to time when and how he’d open up - something only Root seems to innately understand as a batsman. As Drew Barrymore put it: ‘I’m such a profound believer that timing is everything; I would tattoo that on my arm’. Amen, sister.
“If we set our ‘close results but not a draw’ as either 4 wickets or fewer or fewer than 100 runs there have only been 2 close results in the last 30 result games. 7 in the 30 previous to that. 4 draws in that period compared to 12 in the period before. Test matches just aren’t close anymore.”
So says Mike McCarthy. Well, if we’re talking about close Tests, we can’t leave out draws - they’re important - but yes, we need close matches.
“Have you noticed that England’s total run count in this match is 666, and for 18 wickets in total, or put another way, for 6+6+6 wickets?” asks
Perry Peter Mason.
“I’m not sure whether to believe that England will surely lose (due to the terrifying sextuple nelson), or confident that they will win (due to the evidence that England have clearly done a deal with the devil).”
“This is the bane of all English problems,” says Amod Paranjape of
Brexit me. “Have England won already? The ability to withstand _____ etc, Let us first win the match and discuss mundane things later.”
Sure - as I said, Elgar and Bavuma are set and the pitch isn’t doing much, so England might not win and we might get to enjoy some drama.
Email!“Even if, as seems likely, England win this game, it will prove little” reckons Dave Langlois. “Their perennial problem is an inability to withstand the pressure of runs on the board batting second in either the first or second innings. Twice in India England scored over 400 in the first innings, whereupon India responded splendidly and thrashed them. England are incapable of this. After Stokes’s magnificent double century in South Africa, the opponents also responded brilliantly by batting big. Another feat of which England are incapable. Until England face this problem head-on they will continue bouncing from spuriously uplifting win to spineless defeat according to the luck of the toss.”
Joe Root doesn’t win tosses because he’s lucky, he wins them because he’s Joe Root. But yes, these days scoreboard pressure seems to trump conditions overhead or underfoot, though I do think that last thrashing might’ve changed England’s approach at last. Obviously Alastair cook batted like Alastair Cook in the first innings here, but Tom Westley and Ben Stokes’ innings were proper Test-match efforts too.
We live in strange times; don’t believe me, just turn to your right or to your left, and look the person you find there up and down. Or failing that, simply consult a mirror.
In such context, it’s perhaps no surprise that Test cricket is currently exceedingly strange, Test cricket in England equally so. Of the last six series played in the green and average, there have been two drawn matches, with the margins in those remaining as follows: 95 runs, 266 runs, an innings and 54 runs, an innings and 244 runs, 124 runs, 199 runs, 169 runs, 405 runs, 8 wickets, innings and 78 runs, innings and 46 runs, innings and 88 runs, 9 wickets, 75 runs, 330 runs, 141 runs, 10 wickets, 211 runs, 340 runs. Frankly, it’s getting – it’s got – ridiculous, and does not speak well of the players involved.
20th over: England 46-1 (Cook 23, Westley 6). Morkel has Westley playing and missing to begin. But over the top of the ball rather than the outside edge. He doesn’t make the same mistake later in over, launching into a picture-perfect on-drive. That’s his spot. A first boundary after about ten overs at the crease. That’ll feel good.
19th over: England 42-1 (Cook 23, Westley 2). Spin for the first time in the match via Maharaj’s left-arm orthodox. Cook not too bothered. He’ll be happy with that given the interrogation from the quicks. Maiden it is.
Ben Parker drops us a line. Hi Ben. “Imagine you are a selector and tomorrow you have to announce your Ashes squad. Which openers would you name?”
18th over: England 42-1 (Cook 23, Westley 2). Morne to test out Westley for the first time now. Defending and leaving. Morkel not giving an inch. Finds an inside edge, but no danger for the No. 3. Forced to then duck a bouncer. Ends with another unplayable, Westley’s edge beaten from a ball that spits away after pitching on middle. Can’t do much about that. On another day South Africa would be well into the middle order by now. If England can get to lunch one down it’ll be a big win for the hosts.
Tim Maitland on twitter about the scandal that is Duanne Olivier’s shirt. “Olivier has a long way to go to catch Derek Randall, known in the Notts dressing room as Shambles”. One thing Brits do a lot better than us Australians: nicknames. And singing at sporting events.
17th over: England 42-1 (Cook 23, Westley 2). Cautious Westley against Olivier. Sound, as the bowler is pushing through one legitimate wicket-taking delivery an over thus far. Oh, and here it is: the penultimate ball hoooops past Westley’s edge. Lucky not to nick that, very close to the bat. He retains the strike with one around the corner.
“Hi Adam.” Hi Tom Leversley. “Don’t suppose you do birthday shout outs do you?”
16th over: England 41-1 (Cook 23, Westley 1). Back from the breather, it’s Morne Morkel for a second go. He was tip top earlier, albeit only for four overs. Cook is forced to play througout, with the middle of the bat more often than not. Cops one in the thigh pad that jags back, but a lot more comfortable a half-hour on from their earlier contest. Big fan of Morne bowling in a proper cricket jumper as well, of the sleeveless variety. Should be compulsory in Manchester/Leeds Tests.
Some End Chat on the telly. David Gower saying if Anderson bowls from the Jimmy End it’ll be the first time that has happened in Test cricket. Let’s hope it does.
15th over: England 41-1 (Cook 23, Westley 1). Olivier again good enough to beat the edge to start the over. Cook doing well not to edge any of these. Much as it was on the opening morning last Thursday. Sure enough, Olivier can’t maintain the pressure, giving Cook a half-volley and he doesn’t miss out, past the umpire for a boundary, taking him into the 20s inside the first hour. They take a drink.
14th over: England 36-1 (Cook 18, Westley 1). Westley does well to leave the first half of this set. But Rabada brings one back and pins him on the crease, slapping into the thigh pad and ballooning into the cordon. Amla doesn’t complete the catch, so they don’t burn a review. I suspect they may have - they were pretty excited when the ball was in the air, but the replay showed no inside edge. Maiden.
I have a layered email from Anthony White that I’m just going to publish in full. “I was finding your remarks about young Keaton a little snidey and rather intolerant. However, perhaps I owe you an apology, you can show kindness when you wish, and I have realised that by not erring on the complimentary, for instance that K.J. Is looking comfortable, you are attempting to unjinx him. And cover your own arse. Delightedly, Anthony”
13th over: England 36-1 (Cook 18, Westley 1). Westley leaving initially. Then gets another screamer. South Africa’s trio of seamers have bowled plenty of those in this first hour. England’s number three off the mark clipping to midwicket. Would have been four if not for a good stop. Yes, Tom. As he and his Essex teammate Dan Lawrence say: play across, be the boss.
“Olivier really, really reminds me of Mike Watkinson. 20% the hair, 80% the bowling action,” suggests Matt Biss. “See.” Mostly enjoying the batting stance. Don’t make them - or teach them, more to the point - like that anymore.
Jennings will be gutted with that, pushing tentatively at a Olivier delivery that didn’t require playing at. Conventional edge, easily taken. Nothing wrong with the delivery, and on reflection it did a bit after pitching, but no world-beater either. Despite doing plenty of hard work, Jennings off to spend the rest of his day in purgatory.
12th over: England 35-0 (Cook 18, Jennings 17). Rabada tags Cook on the glove with a nasty bouncer, but despite doing everything right the bowler concedes four with the ball ending up over de Kock’s head, down to the rope. Jennings digs out a yorker to end the over and retains the strike. He’ll regret that though, because...
11th over: England 29-0 (Cook 13, Jennings 16). Olivier bowling with his shirt untucked from the get go. This isn’t right. Any counterview? Come on. Tuck it in. All over the place with the ball two, ranging from being too quick for Jennings to a half-volley next up, driven away neatly. Working into this, the battling opener. Defends and leaves competently. Couple more down the ground to end the over when he’s too full again. Confidence growing.
David Lloyd runs through every band who have ever played at Old Trafford. It’s an impressive list. Predictably Warne jumps in: COLDPLAY!
Olivier is the scruffiest cricketer I have ever seen! Disgrace. Sir Laurence would be appalled. Tuck your shirt in lad.
10th over: England 23-0 (Cook 13, Jennings 10). It is Rabada again and its is his turn to sort Cook out with a beauty. In a competitive field that’s the ball of the morning, pitching leg before going past the edge and missing off. Magnificent. The superstar gets one to move back the other way later in the over, Cook doing well not only to keep it out but then to profit by a couple behind square leg.
“Finally a good start from our openers!” says Ian Copestake. Presumably with a tongue in the cheek? “Hope this will keep the wolves from Jennings’ door as he deserves our support not the sneering and sniping that seems to come his way.” Yes, a tongue in the cheek.
9th over: England 21-0 (Cook 11, Jennings 10). Morkel given a rest. Not sure about that? Surely a matter of time for him to sort out Jennings. Unless he’s being turned around to follow Rabada. In any case, it’s Olivier here. Before his first ball Bumble suggests that he should be on a hat-trick here, despite the previous two wickets coming at Trent Bridge. Shane Warne agrees. Ummm? Anyway, it is a moot point, spraying the first one down the legside. Next up he’s right on it, beating Jennings with one that really hoops away. Jennings profits from a short one, punching it past point for four. Nice pressure release. But the bowler is back on it by the end of the set, again beating him outside the off-stump. More batsman error there - definitely one to leave alone this early rather than driving.
Good news for strikers that Bumble thinks if you get two goals in one game and then one in the next, you've got a hat-trick.
8th over: England 17-0 (Cook 11, Jennings 6). Cook gets a go at Rabada. Comfortable. Then carving, not missing out when the quick gives him a short one outside the off-stump. Very much in the Chef’s ~area~. Looking good.
7th over: England 13-0 (Cook 7, Jennings 6). Cook’s first boundary, Morkel overpitching and punching it down the ground with a mininum of fuss. Our first single of the day coming to the next ball as well, in front of square with a tuck. So, Morkel gets a chance at Jennings. This should be interesting. He’s okay to begin, but then does one of those play-leaves (pleaves) that nearly is his undoing. Smashed on the pad to end the over. Good luck, Keaton. Let us know how you get on.
6th over: England 8-0 (Cook 2, Jennings 6). Another over with no strike rotation. Jennings doing well here actually, defending on the stumps, getting away from the shorter stuff without too much concern. In other words, looking like an opener. Rabada the lesser of the two quicks so far this morning. Maiden all the same.
My man Phil Withall is livin’ la vida loca: “In preparation for the football season starting in the morning (Australian time) I will be watching the cricket until I fall asleep on the sofa, hurt my neck and get a lecture from my wife about the stupidity of my sporting addictions. It’s going to be a wonderful nine months.”
5th over: England 8-0 (Cook 2, Jennings 6). Cook away with a confident push into the covers for a couple. But it is advantage bowler soon enough, Cook smashed on the thigh pad and then getting a thick inside edge onto the back of his pad to end the over. He’s been here so many times, the England champion. He knows survival is everything. So the fact that this is ugly won’t bother him in the slightest. Cook seeing every ball so far from Morkel, at the Jimmy end it’s exclusively Jennings v Rabada.
They should call Keaton Jennings "Duke", because every ball's got his name on it.
4th over: England 6-0 (Cook 0, Jennings 6). So there is a short-leg now. Okay, I won’t go on about it. Nice clip to get him away through midwicket this over, Jennings adding to his glanced boundary from the second over. But next up, he’s beaten. It’s not as threatening as Morkel’s earlier barrage to Cook, but enough to leave Jennings looking tentative. Better footwork to defend, and then when hit on the pad he’s well forward so the shout is denied. Testing times for the opener on what must be his last chance. Proper Test cricket.
3rd over: England 4-0 (Cook 0, Jennings 4). Morkel goes straighter to Cook second time around, twice up for ambitious leg-before appeals. Neither realistically considered for referral. But a good signs for the quick. Still no short leg, FYI.
2nd over: England 4-0 (Cook 0, Jennings 4). It’s Kagiso Rabada from the James Anderson End. And he’s created a chance too - a fat inside edge from Jennings onto his thigh-pad. The athletic quick races towards short leg (WHY IS THERE NO SHORT LEG?) and puts in a full-stretch dive, falling about six inches short. More frustratingly for the bowler, ther is a fielder with the shin pads on 20m from the bat ready to come in.
1st over: England 0-0 (Cook 0, Jennings 0). Oooh! Morkel does Cook with an absolute beauty second up. Around the wicket, forcing the left-hander to play, steepling off the seam. He bowled magnificently at times at The Oval. Increased responsibility today in Philander’s absence. Oh, and he does it again two balls later. Then a third time to end the over. Goodness me - that’s one of the best opening overs you’ll see. Simple as that.
Miscellanea. Thick and fast with your correspondence so far. Great. Don’t be shy.
Jon Short on twitter asks of Olivier will be on a hat-trick having taken wickets with his last two balls at Trent Bridge? Best I get on this one early: the answer is no. You can only take a hat-trick inside a single match. So, had Moeen not got another chance the other day he wouldn’t be on one here, either.
Some reaction from the press box.
Philander's absence with a back spasm swings pendulum towards England. Olivier returns, after finishing T Bridge Test with 2 wkts in 2 balls
Eng win toss and bat, unchanged from the Oval. SA have no Philander so no Morris either. De Bruyn and Olivier come in. Advantage England
England unchanged at OT and win toss and bat. SA missing Philander (back injury) and Morris (dropped). No VP huge blow to SA chances
Joe Root wins the toss here at Old Trafford and an unchanged England will bat. Not an easy call after all the rain that has fallen here
Tails is the call, and it is heads. “Yes, we’re going to bat first,” says Joe Root. Says it looks a good wicket, cites success batting first at Old Trafford. No change to the XI who romped it in at The Oval.
There are changes for South Africa, Vernon Philander and Chris Morris both missing through injury. We knew the former was a chance, not the latter. de Bruyn is back into the XI, as is Olivier. Both have played during the series. Significant.
Can England knock over South Africa in a home series for the first time since 1998? Will the Proteas be able to take something from this epic tour by squaring the ledger at Manchester? That’s the bird’s-eye take on this fourth and final rubber.
England put on a clinic last week at The Oval. But current form is seldom a reliable indicator on future performance for this volatile side. At least they keep it interesting.
1st over: South Africa 3-1 (Kuhn 0, Amla 1) That LBW was so plumb that even Stuart Broad wouldn’t have reviewed it. Hell, Donald Trump wouldn’t have reviewed it. It was a classic swing bowler’s dismissal of a left-hander. A great first over from Anderson ends with Kuhn, aiming to leg, ended an outswinger fractionally short of Stokes at gully. It’s swinging.
“Max Walker also used to return fewer wickets than his bowling seemed to deserve,” says John Burton. “I remember a commentator (Richie?) explaining that it was because he always bowled at the back of a length and would have taken more wickets had he pitched it up a little more. Does that apply to Morkel and Hendricks as well?”
James Anderson opens the bowling from the
Ian Austin End James Anderson End - and he strikes third ball! Elgar plays around a textbook inswinger and is plumb LBW.
Here come the players. We’ll have time for three or four overs before lunch.
The last England batsman to be out for 99 in a Test, since you asked, was Kevin Pietersen against Bangladesh in 2009-10.
The wicket of Bairstow was Maharaj’s 16th of the series, the most by a South African spinner against any opposition since the great Hugh Tayfield in 1957-58.
Morne Morkel pats Bairstow on the back as he runs past him. Geez, could he be any nicer? Bairstow looks mildly devastated, and gets many a consoling pat when he reaches the dressing-room. He is a very selfless cricketer, however, and when the dust settles he will realise he has played a gem of an innings for his team.
He’s out! He was just hit in line, and the rest was straightforward. Ach, that is cruel.
Bairstow tried to sweep Maharaj and was hit on the pad. I thought he was outside the line but Kumar Dharmasena disagreed, and with each passing replay this looks more likely to be given out.
Oh my.
108th over: England 362-9 (Bairstow 99, Anderson 4) The non-striker Anderson drags his 35-year-old body back for consecutive twos to help Bairstow to 98. A single takes him to 99, and means Anderson has two deliveries from Olivier to survive. If Anderson reverse sweeps a boundary here, he deserves an on-the-spot knighthood for services to maverick behaviour. He doesn’t, but he does survive the over. That single from Bairstow brought up the fifty partnership, though nobody noticed.
107th over: England 357-9 (Bairstow 94, Anderson 4) Anderson goes back to the coaching manual after that reprieve, and gets off the mark with a lovely cut for four.
Anderson tries to reverse sweep the new bowler Maharaj, misses and survives a big LBW appeal. South Africa inevitably review, and replays show it was umpire’s call.
106th over: England 353-9 (Bairstow 94, Anderson 0) This is turning into a memorable innings from Bairstow. He scoops the new bowler Olivier for four, an authentic one-day shot, slaughers six over long-off to move into the nineties and then pings the last ball to the third-man boundary. Fourteen from the over. This partnership is worth 41, and Bairstow has scored the lot. That is brilliant from Bairstow, although it doesn’t quite compare to my favourite lower-order partnership: when Javed Miandad added 43 with Robin Hobbs, who was out first ball.
105th over: England 339-9 (Bairstow 80, Anderson 0) Bairstow steals a pair of twos and then back cuts for Rabada. He is batting brilliantly now. Nothing irritates quite like a tailend partnership, except maybe piles, and South Africa are getting frustrated. Don’t worry lads, it’ll never hurt as much as Cape Town.
“Watching Morkel bowling superbly for modest reward puts me in mind of Mike Hendrick,” says Brian Withington. “He was another excellent (somewhat slower) quick bowler whose reputation for unflagging excellence seemed to never quite be matched by results. I will leave it to Ian Copestake to complete the equivalence analysis with appropriate statistical rigour and narrative flourish.”
104th over: England 330-9 (Bairstow 71, Anderson 0) Bairstow flicks Morkel sweetly through midwicket for four - and then, when the field comes up for the fifth ball, blasts another boundary over mid-off. A single off the last ball ensures he’ll keep the strike. It would be strange if, after all those unconverted fifties, Bairstow raced from 53 to 100 in the company of No11.
103rd over: England 321-9 (Bairstow 62, Anderson 0) Too full from Rabada, and Bairstow muscles it thrillingly down the ground for four. Shot! That’s the only incident of note in the over, and it’s time for drinks.
“Do you reckon Quinton de Kock looks different when he’s actually about to cry rather than just having that expression all the time?” asks Darren Smith, taking me back to the schooldays when everybody would shout ‘CRYING FACE!’ at some poor kid who was looking flustered for one reason or another. Not me, I should stress. Never happened to me.
102nd over: England 316-9 (Bairstow 57, Anderson 0) Bairstow takes a single off Morkel’s fourth ball, giving Anderson two to survive. He does.
“To what extent do you think Jonny Bairstow’s poor conversion rate (98th over) is primarily a function of batting further down the order?” says Chris Savory. “In this (shall we say) inconsistent England line-up, he often seems to be stuck throwing his bat alongside the tail, rather than patiently accumulating runs and building an innings. I’d love to know how many of those 14 unconverted half-centuries ended with him as last man out...”
101st over: England 315-9 (Bairstow 56, Anderson 0) Bairstow is dropped by de Kock, a low chance to his right off Rabada. It was a difficult chance, though I reckon he’d take it seven or eight times out of ten.
“With ball in hand, Moeen will be much more dangerous,” says Andrew Benton. “Are you still not a fan, even after his escapades last Test?”
100th over: England 312-9 (Bairstow 53, Anderson 0) Sir James Anderson gets a nice ovation as he walks to the wicket, and his first defensive stroke prompts exaggerated cheers. The party mood and the frisky batting obscure the fact that England don’t have enough runs here. Anderson looks like he’ll try to hang around and support Bairstow.
“On the Bairstow non-dismissal last night, it’s certainly one area where TV/DRS has probably had a disadvantageous effect, as the slo-mo almost always makes it look like it’s bounced, even though fingers are under it,” says Guy Hornsby. “I suspect teams almost expect those to go against them these days. Not that I’m complaining.”
A smidgen of justice for Morkel, who cleans Broad up with a full-length delivery. Broad wafted all around it, not the most responsible shot when a specialist batsman is at the other end. It’s the way he plays!
99th over: England 307-8 (Bairstow 52, Broad 3) Broad times his first ball through extra cover for three, with Maharaj moving gingerly after the ball. He clearly isn’t right, though it didn’t affect his bowling yesterday. Bairstow then inside-edges Rabada straight into the personal business area. This has been Rabada’s best performance of the series, and figures of four for 74 represent his work appropriately.
Moeen edges a shortish delivery from Rabada to second slip, where du Plessis takes an excellent low catch. That’s a vital wicket because Moeen was looking dangerous; he made 14 from 12 balls.
98th over: England 303-7 (Bairstow 51, Moeen 14) Bairstow slaps Morkel wide of gully for four to bring up another important half-century, the 17th of his Test career. He only has three hundreds. That conversion rate is about the only thing he needs to improve. He has become a brilliant player. In a sense No7 was beneath him, but then it was beneath Adam Gilchrist. Who cares when he is so effective there? Bairstow averages 49 at No7.
97th over: England 297-7 (Bairstow 45, Moeen 14) Rabada goes around the wicket to Moeen, who helps an errant short ball on its way for four. He is already dangerous,and a superb pull for four takes him to 14 from 10 balls. South Africa know that, if Moeen is still batting at lunch, they will be in a bit of trouble.
“Mr. Smyth,” writes William Hargreaves. “Please tell Mr. Wilson Beuys of 10.35 that this is a typical example of European bureaucracy from which I have decided to extract my
paycheque self. Johnny Foreigner tries to get his hands on a second-hand cricket box and gets kicked in the proverbials for his troubles. Well not on my watch. Time we got out of this sham. If you can forward me an address I will send along a container load of purple and yellow shell suits. By the by, is your correspondent related to the best supporting actor nominee from “Castaway”? If so, please pass on my congratulations - remarkable performance. Slamdunkin’, mates. Yours, Mr N. Forage.”
96th over: England 287-7 (Bairstow 45, Moeen 4) Bairstow hits Morkel for consecutive boundaries, a loose carve over the slip followed by a classical back-foot cover-drive. Four leg-byes complete a good over for England.
As Mike Atherton says on Sky, Bairstow was on 4 when he was dubiously reprieved yesterday evening, with the third umpire deciding that Dean Elgar hadn’t take a clean catch. That might be a big moment. I’m surprised South Africa didn’t make more of that because they were hard done by.
95th over: England 275-7 (Bairstow 37, Moeen 4) Rabada greeets Moeen with some beard music, ripping a bouncer through to the keeper de Kock. When the fuller ball inevitably comes, Moeen times it exquisitely down the ground for four to get off the mark. That is some stroke.
This is a good wicket for South Africa - not just on its own terms, but because it brings Moeen Ali to the crease against Rabada and Morkel. Roland-Jones got a little giddy after a cracking cover drive the previous delivery; he tried to repeat the shot and sliced it straight to Bavuma at point.
94th over: England 267-6 (Bairstow 37, Roland-Jones 0) Morne Morkel is up to his old tricks. He has an LBW appeal against Bairstow turned down - it was slipping down the leg side - and then snaps consecutive deliveries past the outside edge. This is wonderful bowling. You could make an arthouse classic on Morne Morkel’s bowling, The Eternal Quest for Just Deserts. The best thing about him is that, no matter how great the misfortune or injustice, his good humour is never compromised. Not even when, in this over, his last ball is a bit too straight and Bairstow puts it away through square leg for four.
93rd over: England 262-6 (Bairstow 33, Roland-Jones 0) We know that Roland-Jones can bat - he averages 85 across all formats in his fledgling England career - and his role here is pretty important. If this pair can see of Morkel and Rabada, it means Moeen will come in against Olivier and Maharaj, an infinitely preferable scenario for England. A couple of leg-byes in a slightly looser over from Rabada.
92nd over: England 260-6 (Bairstow 33, Roland-Jones 0) In an unusual development, Morne Morkel beats Jonny Bairstow with his first ball of the day. It’s a rite of passage for all budding Test batsmen to play and miss umpteen times at Morkel. It’s another good over to back up Rabada’s, and South Africa start the day with consecutive maidens. If they dismiss England for under 300 they have a great chance of taking control today.
“Harking back to the discussion of German names for fielding positions during the last Test, I recall someone mentioned that ‘Winkel’ , meaning set square, might help with square leg,” says Edward Costar. “It also means corner, as I was reminded when I came across the village of Kuhwinkel. That’s cow corner sorted.”
91st over: England 260-6 (Bairstow 33, Roland-Jones 0) Michael Holding reckons batting will be much easier today and tomorrow. South Africa’s plan is clear: whip England out this morning, and bat for the best part of those two days. Rabada starts to Roland-Jones, who is in the unusual position of being nightwatchman at No8, and beats him twice in the course of an excellent maiden.
“Did you know that, since his recall in 2014, Joe Root has averaged 85 in the first Test of a series, but ‘only’ 51 in subsequent Tests?” asys Gareth Wilson. “And, if you exclude the Windies series of 2015, that second average goes down to 39? It’s a fair old drop-off in performance. I wonder if it shows he relaxes too much after a big score, hence those dreamy 50s, 60, 70s ended by a careless and needless bit of overconfident strokeplay.”
Can you help?
“I wondered whether you felt able to act as a good-deed intermediary via the medium of OBO?” says Wilson Beuys. “I was in northern Burgundy this week, working as an English interpreter for new immigrés to France who don’t speak French. I was approached by a guy from Afghanistan who organises ad-hoc cricket for children from the newly arrived communities. It’s all very “beach-cricket” at the moment.
“Dear Rob,” says Michael Meagher. “I’ve never understood the whole nightwatchman concept. If he gets out your in a worse position and if he stays in you have a non-batsman in place to start the day.”
It comes back to that Mike Brearley quote: human beings will invariably postpone the moment of performance if possible. And I suppose nobody wants to hear the thump of something landing in their in-tray when they are about to go home. I think it’s sensible to have a nightwatchman a lot of the time - there is much more to lose if a proper batsman is dismissed - but I’m surprised, in this age of challenging assumptions about Test batting, that more people don’t reject the option. Cricket is sometimes highly resistant to change. See also: rotation.
KG Rabada is being interviewed on Sky. He talks like a 22-year-old veteran on any subject, from wrist position to his demon yorker to the challenge of bowling to Ben Stokes. He is a ridiculously impressive young man.
Good morning, my friend. You don’t need to talk like him from Big Brother to know that the second day is frequently the most important of a Test match. It’s when the game really starts to take shape. In this series it has been even more significant, the day when the match starts to cement.
The second and third Tests were effectively settled by batting collapses on day two and, while such extreme drama is unlikely today on what is a good pitch, you’d expect one side to take a potentially decisive advantage in the next 90 overs.
Here’s Vic Marks on a frustrating, if not disastrous, opening day for England:
With substantial rather than decisive contributions from the old guard – Alastair Cook, Joe Root and Ben Stokes (yes, he can just about be included in this category now) – England tiptoed towards a serviceable total in the final Test of the series, but no more than that. This trio scored 46, 52 and 58 respectively as England finished an absorbing day on 260 for six.
Yet South Africa were able to leave the field with a smile. They were boosted by the late dismissal of Stokes just before the close and the knowledge that they had hung in there with a depleted attack. Several times England were on the verge of domination, whereupon another wicket fell.
20th over: England 52-2 (Jennings 16, Root 13). Good little contest emerging between Maharaj and Root. Forced to defend early on, before taking advantage of some flight to stride down the track and drive to the sweeper at deep cover point. He’ll get another in before lunch.
“Even less glamorous here than Shenzhen,” reports Kimberley Thonger. “It’s a children’s funfair at Willen Lake, Milton Keynes, where unfortunate batsmen still come away with a prize.” A photo is attached, a ‘hook a duck’ carnival game. ‘Prize every time,’ it says. I read from time to time that this is at the core of what is wrong with the world. Yeah, that’s it.
19th over: England 51-2 (Jennings 16, Root 12). The England 50 brought up through Jennings’ best shot of the morning, stroking Olivier through the covers. Lovely drive.
Anthony White says nice things about the coverage. Thanks Tony. “I understand Christopher Doherty’s problem well,” he continues. “Here in France also, croquet seems to be better known than cricket. On hearing that I am talking of a different, and far superior, game they either roll their eyes with that french (see Eddie Izzard) look as if all misunderstandings have their root in Britishness, or smile excitedly and say ‘oh yes, baseball!’ I have several court cases outstanding.”
18th over: England 47-2 (Jennings 12, Root 12). Classy maiden from Maharaj, who has impressed throughout this series. Gives it a big rip to Root, who is pushed back then brought forward. Nearly slips one through the gate. Then to finish hits the pad, warranting a big shout. Turned down, missing leg. No review this time.
No hat-trick for Mohammad Amir but he currently has bowling figures of 7-3-9-4https://t.co/ZhJTPfQ1aK
17th over: England 47-2 (Jennings 12, Root 12). Yep, it is Olivier for his first go this innings, replacing Morkel who took 2-22 in his eight over stint. Has stepped up as the attack leader in Philander’s absence. Root comfortable watching the right-armer to begin, before clipping a single behind square. Jennings watches the last ball pass by. The lead now 183.
“Could you please put in a word to the ECB about test match starting times?” asks Peter Lee. “I live in St Kitts in the West Indies, and the five hour time difference is really annoying, like waking up and missing the first thirty overs. It would be jolly good if you could all start at 1pm with stumps at 10pm around my tea time.”
16th over: England 46-2 (Jennings 12, Root 11).“It wasn’t the best review,” says an understated Graeme Smith on what happened last time Maharaj was at the bowling crease. Suggests that du Plessis was talked into it by bowler and ‘keeper. The left-arm orthodox misses his line to Root here, who makes no mistake sweeping hard to pick up his first boundary. He’s better to Jennings to conclude, winning an inside edge. But it doesn’t end up with the short leg.
Haseeb Hameed gone for 5 at the Ageas. Hadn't played a shot in anger, then drove Fidel Edwards and edged to second slip.
15th over: England 41-2 (Jennings 12, Root 6). Morkel goes again, for an eighth on the spin. “Surely it’ll be his last one,” says Vaughan on the radio. Root starts with a couple to cover. Looking at ease early. Another through point later in the over, with some good running, before Jennings pushes confidently to finish.
Tom Morgan is grateful for Jonathan Leach’s intel. “Thanks. Now I know what she’s doing I felt obliged to explain cricket to her in my limited Greek. I think I won her over but she says why do we keep picking Jennings.”
14th over: England 38-2 (Jennings 12, Root 3). Jennings responds to the review with a boundary to finish off Maharaj’s first over of the innings. A reverse sweep, no less. That’ll do. He’s into double figures.
NOT OUT! That’s a poor referral from Faf. Kicked away, sure. So it doesn’t need to hit in line. But missing by some way.
REVIEW! Has Maharaj trapped Jennings? They’re taking a look.
13th over: England 33-2 (Jennings 8, Root 2). Morkel again. Six overs a decent shift for the giant quick. Finds Root’s edge, but along the ground. One taken. Jennings beaten by a good one, across him and fending but no contact made. Important little session for the hosts, 35 minutes to the interval, their lead 169.
12th over: England 32-2 (Jennings 8, Root 1). Jennings get off strike to the first Rabada delivery, giving his captain a chance to have a look for the first time today. He has to use his bat throughout, and also takes a quick-ish single to Bavuma. Home far more safely than Jennings was earlier, mind. He’s off the mark. And keeps the strike.
On the ‘where are you watching’ rounds. Steve is in Cairns. “Sitting on the balcony at Clifton Beach, just outside Cairns, its 8.45 pm here and just listening to the Coral Sea pound onto the beach , while fighting with a second bottle of Shiraz (hard day). Must admit you Poms have a semi-decent team this time and it will make regaining the Ashes all the more pleasurable. Thanks for your coverage.”
Oh, the ball after playing a delightful square drive punch to the rope, Westley has edged to the gully when trying to drive to mid-on. Very similar to how he went in the first innings at The Oval. Will fuel his critics, who believe he’s too inclined to seek runs through the legside. South Africa are behind by 166 in this Test, but vaguely back in it now with Morkel doing the heavy lifting. They know they can take ten cheap England wickets from their last trip out of London. If they can get Root early it’ll be game on, that’s for sure.
11th over: England 30-2 (Jennings 7, Root 0).
10th over: England 26-1 (Jennings 7, Westley 5). Quick single! Blimey, taking on Bavuma is bold. But Jennings makes it. Out if it hit. Surprised he didn’t - one of the best ground fielders in the game. Westley’s single, also to cover, less stressful. Jennings defends well enough to see out the rest.
John says his Midlands location isn’t exotic. He has a take, though: “Now that Anderson has his own end, there must be endless jokes about him chasing his own tail or getting his end away. Toilet jokes about firing a loosener from his own end.” I’ll take that as a comment.
9th over: England 24-1 (Jennings 6, Westley 4). Morkel from the Jimmy End. Continues to defend and leave competently enough. Until he has one shoot low! Didn’t see that coming. Lucky it wasn’t on target. Gets a beauty to finish, Morkel beating the number three who is stuck a bit on the crease there. Plenty of movement. Maiden.
Neglected to pop in that Cook wicket from before. Here you go.
8th over: England 24-1 (Jennings 6, Westley 4). That’s better. Jennings gets on one the pads from Rabada and doesn’t miss out. His first boundary. Defending well to finish it off. Maybe he’ll make the most of that chance and put together a dazzling hundred. Maybe.
Flooded with emails with exotic OBO locations. Should have known, you culture vultures. Let’s race through some over the next couple of overs.
7th over: England 20-1 (Jennings 2, Westley 4). Quality bumper from Morkel to Westley to welcome him along. Like. A confident couple of leaves follow from the no. 3. He’s reached 50 balls in reach of his three innings for England so far. And off the mark with a drive past point to the rope. Not the most stylish stroke, but does enough to reach the rope. Nice start for him.
“I’m not sure Jennings really does need a ton to survive,” writes Elliot Carr-Barnsley. “I’m not a huge fan of his, but this hasn’t been a particularly sensational top order batting series. The pitches have been good for cricket and there have only been four fifties and one hundred from any of the openers in 28 innings across the series before this one. To rule him out now would still be harsh.”
They don’t drop a second one back there! Morkel rewarded for pitching slightly further up, Cook electing to drive but miscuing straight to gully. The catch went quick, but de Bruyn was all over it.
6th over: England 16-0 (Cook 10, Jennings 2).DROPPED!! Jennings put down by Elgar to the second ball of Rabada’s over. Pushing at a ball he probably didn’t need to play in an effort to get off the mark. It required a dive to the third slip’s left, but he should have taken it. You can tell from his reaction. Jennings knows it too, his face telling a story until that grill. How will he respond? With a couple to cover, getting him off the mark. Well, it’s a start.
5th over: England 14-0 (Cook 10, Jennings 0). Morkel beats Cook cutting early. Doesn’t miss many of those. Gets a couple behind point in more convincing fashion to move into double figures, the leading moving to 150 in the process.
“Does my front room in Beijing count as exotic?” asks Richard Woods. You’re behind the music festival in Japan. That’s the clubhouse leader. But thanks for dropping a line.
4th over: England 12-0 (Cook 8, Jennings 0). Leaving, leaving, leaving. Defending, defending, defending. Jennings has plenty of work to do, but that’ll do a bit for his confidence early in the stay.
Shane Warne has managed to talk about declaring in the 5th over – the man is an artist. #ENGvSa
3rd over: England 12-0 (Cook 8, Jennings 0). Much like the first innings, Morkel right on top of Cook with one that angles in and tails away. Pretty much unplayable. But in response he doesn’t generate the same late movement, the opener able to shuffle across the create and time a boundary through midwicket. Very Ali Cook, that. And another boundary to end the set, albeit from the outside half of the bat. I’m being generous again, it’s an edge. Between the cordon and gully. Positively motoring. The lead 148.
“Sneaking furtive OBO updates from a festival in Tokyo while my wife dances with the old dears in the picture,” relays Jonathan Perry. I’m not savvy enough to add the photo, but it is as he says. “Shouted inappropriately loudly at the last SA wicket and had to pretend that I was just really impressed with the music. Don’t think anyone was convinced. Thanks for the ever-interesting coverage!”
2nd over: England 4-0 (Cook 0, Jennings 0). Rabada to Jennings. Oh, and he gives him a good’un to begin. Was always destined to be so with the situation the opening bat is walking into. Nothing about this will be easy. It beats his edge, mercifully. And does it again later in the over! Plenty of jag here from the quick. But he gets through it. Phew. Back to back maidens.
“Morning Adam.” Hi there, Nick Parish. “Have enjoyed following OBO for many years now, and one enduring stalwart of the conversation has been the excellent spectating seat from the grungy basement at Guardian Towers. But now you say you’re there? In the Press Box, no less?! I thought newspapers were supposed to have fallen on hard times? Or do you have a particularly compromising set of photos featuring The Man and Weird Uncle Fiver that you have put to good use?”
1st over: England 4-0 (Cook 0, Jennings 0). Highly ambitious shout for leg before, Morkel striking Cook’s pads, but it is going well down the legside and ultimately down to the rope to begin England’s second innings. Maiden completed with some decent pace towards the end of it.
The other Andy Wilson has dropped me a line. “Following OBO from a beach in Crete.” Yeah cheers mate. “It is 38 degrees but the sea and the drinks are cool. Pity me!” Reading from somewhere exotic? Somewhere nicer than where Andy is, even?
Historical context. For what it is worth. 1961 quite juicy.
Only two first innings deficits larger than 136 have been overturned into a victory at Old Trafford: 177 (1961) & 179 (2008). #EngvSA
Keaton Jennings.
So here it is: his last chance. How must that feel? Not inaccurate to say, is it, that how he performs today could alter the trajectory of his life? Find a ton, hold his spot, who knows. Nick off early, dropped, he’s a quirky entry in the ‘tons on debut’ list. Brutal business. And on the way out now, alongside Alastair Cook. Good luck to the lad.
Olivier can’t resist, swinging hard at the first ball of Broad’s new over. It’s short, the top-edge goes high in the air, giving Bairstow enough time to race back and complete the catch. South Africa’s first innings ends with a deficit of 136. Despite not getting the five, Anderson still leads them off with a big smile on his face. Job done.
72nd over: South Africa 226-9 (Morkel 20, Olivier 4). Anderson into his familiar channel to Morkel, who is solid throughout with a straight bat, leaving confidently as well. Maiden. Broad another chance to deny Anderson his home five-for, how I’m looking at it.
71st over: South Africa 226-9 (Morkel 20, Olivier 4). Boycott on the radio saying he would have given Anderson a chance from the Anderson end by bowling Moeen the second over today. Anyway, it is Broad here. He’s taken to square leg by Morkel first ball of the set, exposing the number 11. He’s defending well for the most part, but gets a work out at the end of the over, copping on one the thigh then an inside edge to finish.
7oth over: South Africa 225-9 (Morkel 19, Olivier 4). Quick single, Jennings nearly runs out Olivier. They end up collecting five from it with the no. 11 steering an edge beyond gully. Being generous calling it a steer on reflection. Either way, it’s in the book.
69th over: South Africa 220-9 (Olivier 0, Morkel 18). Olivier does what he needs to do to survive the Broad mini-over. Theee balls to come, he’s beaten with one but gets the full face to the final delivery. That’ll do. The crowd are very happy with that, for it gives Anderson the chance to claim his first five-for at Old Trafford. Go you good thing.
I’ve actually made a meal of that before play. It was Broad from the Anderson End, of course. And Anderson now from the Statham End. End chat: the best kind. Love a joint with multiple names for an end, especially when on radio. Especially enjoy an ‘Old Football Stand’ End. Suspect this is an interest only I have, though, so I’ll leave it there.
Last bit of colour before we get going.
Was trawling around the world wide web yesterday trying to find something Gideon Haigh wrote about radio commentary (or so I thought) some years ago. Came up short. But did happen upon a preview of the weekend in Australian live music he wrote for The Age on 1 May 1987. Suspect you’ll like this.
Looking for something Gideon wrote about cricket commentary, stumbled on his preview of the weekend in live music from The Age, 1 May 1987. pic.twitter.com/x2VtEBHyCf
Kids with flags at the ready.
Suggests the players aren’t far away.
Opening the batting.
Is Amod Paranjape. Morning, Amod. “After Jimmy, who? And please don’t say Woakes.”
If England were scripting out their Saturday, it couldn’t have gone much better. In turn, they’re in a position to just about seal the series by the time they go to bed tonight.
In no small part this was due to the great Jimmy Anderson. Riding shotgun with Jonny Bairstow for a 50-run final wicket stand, then picking up four wickets in the afternoon, it was a clinic from the old boy.
Adam will be here shortly. Before that, here Jimmy Anderson on his spell on day two:
Jimmy Anderson said he felt additional pressure when he took the new ball at the end that now carries his name but was delighted to end the day with four victims to leave him one away from a maiden Test five-wicket haul on his home ground. The 35-year-old said he could not care less who closes out the South Africa innings as England continue on their path towards a 3-1 series win.
“I felt like I couldn’t bowl badly,” said Anderson, whose figures of four for 33 included a game-breaking spell of three for six in 20 balls. “It feels very strange still to hear it being announced. But I’m thrilled by the honour and it’s nice to get some wickets.
There was a certain inevitability to that: Kuhn jabs at one that Anderson gets to shape just enough, and Cook drops to take a simple shin-high catch.
10th over: South Africa 18-1 (Kuhn 11, Amla 2) - target 380 Kuhn collects a couple of runs with a forced cut in front of square - not especially attractive, nor well-timed, but at the moment South Africa will take what they can get. Then three more come from a slightly more attractive drive, but still not particularly well timed. Amla gets off the mark through mid-wicket, and a positive avalanche of runs from the over: seven.
9th over: South Africa 11-1 (Kuhn 6, Amla 0) - target 380 Anderson beats the bat a couple more times: shall we just assume he’s doing that all the time and I’ll tell you otherwise? Cool. Another maiden.
Some more short/tall chat:
8th over: South Africa 11-1 (Kuhn 6, Amla 0) - target 380 Kuhn chases a short wide one and misses - when batting is this tough, no need to take risks like that. A maiden.
“In a very surprising development, CNN’s Trump-baiting Chris Cuomo just now used the expression ‘sticky wicket’ on air,” reports Robert Wilson. “Ignoring for a moment the hilarious but heart-breaking incomprehension that this will excite amongst supporters of the Orange Gibbon, does this mean that the Trump administration is causing enough trauma to provoke Americans to move onto the Ninth Level of Enlightenment by letting cricket into their lives? It’s always swings and roundabouts in politics, isn’t it?”
7th over: South Africa 11-1 (Kuhn 6, Amla 0) - target 380 Anderson strays legside from the first ball after that review, and he collects South Africa’s first run for 20 balls.
There was a reasonable amount of daylight between bat and ball - not sure what the fielders heard, but they were pretty certain there was something. Might be bat clipping boot.
England go up for a caught behind, the umpire says no, Kuhn sweats it as the go upstairs...
6th over: South Africa 10-1 (Kuhn 5, Amla 0) - target 380 Broad goes past Amla’s edge a few times, including one that leg breaks from a middle-off line and in the end misses the bat by quite a long way.
Meanwhile: nudging for a recall v the Windies at Edgbaston?
Whisper it, but Liam Dawson bowled nicely yesterday, and he's just moved to a very fine 50...
5th over: South Africa 10-1 (Kuhn 5, Amla 0) - target 380 Doesn’t look like much fun today, batting. Kuhn jerks away from an Anderson away nipper like it’s a scorpion nipping at his fingertips. Survival the priority.
Neil Harris, presumably not the Millwall manager, notes: “Bright sunshine from 4pm onwards in Manchester… We could play till 9.”
4th over: South Africa 10-1 (Kuhn 5, Amla 0) - target 380 “Joyous OBO so far,” writes Jack Pearce. “In response to Amod’s quizzing of your pessimism (which is entirely shared by myself). Two words; Murphy’s Law. We’ve seen it before and jinxed it enough times too (can the OBO be blamed for jinxing?) Should be straightforward enough, sure, two days of play to get 10 wickets? But….. WHAT CAN GO WRONG WILL GO WRONG”
At the risk of tempting fate, Broad does look on one here. With the pitch having been juiced up a little it’s doing plenty, and he displays that by getting one to rear from a length that strikes Elgar on the bicep. And then, gone: another, slightly fuller, bounces and shapes away, and Bairstow takes a regulation one
3rd over: South Africa 9-0 (Kuhn 4, Elgar 5) - target 380 Elgar drives very pleasantly straight down the ground, and despite the brief intervention of Anderson’s finger, he picks up four.
FYI, some revised session times:
2nd over: South Africa 5-0 (Kuhn 4, Elgar 1) - target 380 Stewpot Broad is on from the other end, which does not feature his name. A jaffa squares Elgar up, then next ball he goes for a sharp single during which he just seems to tweak a muscle of some sort. One to keep an eye on. Decent first over from Broad, though.
“England is going to win in a jiffy,” says Amod Paranjape. “But why are you guys so pessimistic? Never understood that.”
1st over: South Africa 4-0 (Kuhn 4, Elgar 0) - target 380 Kuhn goes for an absolute boomer of a drive that would have burst a hole in the advertising boards had he connected, but he did not connect. Anderson then spears one it towards middle, it shapes away and Kuhn gets a thick edge that zoots just wide of a desperately diving Jennings in the slips. Then Anderson sends down one of those Anderson away swingers that the batsman just has to close his eyes and hope he doesn’t nick. Fortunately for Kuhn, he doesn’t nick.
James Anderson will open to Heino Kuhn, from the James Anderson End.
And we’re on. Cricket!
Luke Devereux has another nomination for a tall short man: “Perhaps it’s his cherubic features, but Jordan Spieth doesn’t look like he has all of his 6ft and 1 inch.”
Across the desk, Gregg Bakowski suggests Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino.
And combining two of our threads today, here’s Bruce Anderson:
“I have a hat eating story .. back in, well ages ago, my Mum in an attempt to motivate me promised to eat her hat if I passed the entrance exam to Manchester Grammar School .. which I managed to do .. when presented with a fake fur hat to eat at teatime she refused, just like I refused to go to MGS and went to Stockport Grammar instead .. setting the ball in motion that allowed Michael Atherton to become MGS’s captain that year. Though I have no regrets at failing to keep Athers out of the team, I still feel she should have eaten that hat!”
“Is it tempting fate for say Amla and Elgar to do a Johannesburg 1998 in reverse?” writes Matthew Doherty.
Depends from which perspective you’re writing, Matthew. That seems unlikely, but then again Jo’burg seemed rather unlikely, didn’t it.
While we wait for some play, Mark Pennington has a hat he’d like to pass around:
“Myself and three others, Sara, Jo & Emma are waiting for the call to go down to Dover and swim to France. We’re raising money for COSMIC who support the Paediatric Intensive Care Unit at St Mary’s hospital. The rough weather means they send the relay teams out and not the solo swimmers so it should be a difficult swim. The cricket was supposed to take my mind of the wait. Any chance of a plug for my Just Giving page? I gave away two tickets for the Trent Bridge test in 2010 on OBO which unfortunately coincided with the birth of my daughter so maybe a bit of karma if anyone sponsors us.”
If you fancy feeling inadequate about your life/talent, AB de Villiers is currently on Sky and batting with a single stump.
The rain has stopped, it seems, and we’ll be back on in about half an hour.
More hat-eating chat from John Starbuck.
“There is a way round the pledge to eat one’s hat, published as the first of Tales of the Long Bow by G. K. Chesterton: The Unpresentable Appearance of Colonel Crane. You simply adopt a large piece of food as your headgear. Wear it long enough and it becomes your hat, which you eat afterwards. In this case, it was a cabbage with the heart scooped out, but maybe a frozen pizza or similar would do today, if it’s not raining.”
Pete Wood has some life advice for all the pipsqueaks in the house: “As someone who isn’t a behemoth, I’ve always tried to follow the advice of Harry Hill: “If you’re short, try to make it appear as though you’re in the distance.”
“Re; your 11:19, which compares (again) stats with successful run chases rather than totals in run-chases - adding a less-relevant constraint again (when you have a target of 294 runs, you stop - how many would England have got at that time if the target had been 380, they had five-and-a-half sessions, and got past 294 with the loss of only 4 wickets? Would the opposition have felt confident or worried?). When you consider that Australia scored 402 here in the fourth innings before, and West Indies 394 in losses, then 380 isn’t unprecedented. The question is how many runs teams make in 4th innings here, or looked likely to make when running out of time or exceeding their targets.
Hmmm. The rain looks like it’s getting a bit harder and the whole square is now being covered. They still think it will be a short shower, but we might be off for a bit longer because it yazzed down last night, and thus obviously the outfield will take a little longer to sort out.
“It’s not cricket, but I’ve always thought Roger Federer looks smaller than his 6’ 1”,” says Simon McMahon, continuing the red hot height chat, “maybe it’s just due to some of the giants that play tennis these days. Borg and McEnroe were both under six feet. And is Shane Warne really six feet tall?”
Hang on, Borg was under 6ft?
Sort of depends what you class as tall, really. As a 5ft 10-and-a-quarter man, the 6ft (or 1.83m, if you want to be metric about things) he’s listed as, is definitely tall.
@NickMiller79 Root is tall? I will now have to reevaluate everything in my life. 16 years in Australia have left me unprepared for this news
Oh heck. The players get halfway out to the middle, only for the Manchester skies to conform to cliche and open. That said, there’s blue sky and those at the ground don’t expect this to last too long.
Patrick Brennan is preparing the hat garnish. “I’ll eat my hat (but not in a Paddy Ashdown literal sense) if SA get within 100 of the target. Plus I hear it will Manchester it down tomorrow, so hakuna matata.”
Sorry Patrick, this is now public record and you’ll have to actually eat your hat, like that chap who ate (some of) his book after Labour did better than expected in the election.
A tall order. As tall as this England team, perhaps. To trot out the obligatory stat (depending on how much you think this matters), this would be the 30th highest fourth innings score in Test history should they make it, the seventh highest successful chase and the highest in a Test at Old Trafford. Comfortably, in fact: the previous best is the 294-4 England got to beat New Zealand in 2008.
No hundred for Mo, thanks to some neat bowling from Morkel who sends one into Anderson’s ribs and he can only nudge it to De Bruyn at short leg.
69th over: England 243-9 (Moeen 75, Anderson 2) - lead by 379 Anderson dabs a single through gully - maybe having an end named after him has boosted his batting talent/confidence too. Mo then whhhhhhhips a brilliant four from a good length on off, that De Bruyn rather stiffly chases, reaches but can only push it onto the boundary.
Just idly wondering if this might be the tallest England cricket team ever?” idly wonders Mo Holkar. “Bairstow at 5’8” is the only small one -- Root, Malan and Ali are all around six foot, but they look wee among the seven beanpoles in the team.”
68th over: England 238-9 (Moeen 71, Anderson 1) - lead by 374 Anderson is the new, and final batsman. Can he survive the last two balls? Not just that, pals, but he nudges a single to mid-wicket off the last ball. Farming the strike. Good lad.
“Does everyone think of him as ToRoJo?” muses Steve Hudson. “In my mind I always call him Toby Rollie-Jollie which has a nice ring to it.”
Morne Morkel jerks into the attack, arms and legs all over the show. And he gets himself a wicket, as Broad flings everything at the ball, doesn’t get close to everything on it and it goes straight to De Bruyn at point.
67th over: England 236-8 (Moeen 70, Broad 5) England will be attacking this morning, and they start with two fours: the first Broad almost gently pushes through the covers and despite the sopping outfield from last night’s rain, it makes it to the fence. The next ball jumps at Broad rather, but it deflects off his hip and goes through where fourth slip would’ve been. Broad takes a single, then Mo clips three wide of mid-on. 12 runs from the first 0.4 overs of the day.
The players are out, and cricket is about to commence. Rabada has four balls left of the over curtailed by rain last night.
Here’s the daily request, today from Alan Tuffery:
“I am looking forward to being with you for most of the morning. Please could you ask your correspondents to share the YouTube link for TMS for us non-twitterati?”
“Thoughts on Root’s captaincy to date?” writes Robin Hobbs. “In general I’m quite impressed with him so far. He seems less in thrall to Branderson than Cook was (for instance gave ToRoJo a bowl ahead of Anderson on one of the mornings at the Oval), and apparently gave Jennings a dressing down yesterday for dawdling over a couple of singles. Still would like to see more attacking fields to new batsmen, less use of nightwatchmen and wiser use of DRS though, although I doubt the first two of those will ever change.”
What do we think of Rooteh at the end of his first series? In reality it’s probably a little pointless coming to any judgements yet, as all things rest on the winter in Australia.
Here’s John Starbuck on Mo: “Half a Mo is better than several other players precisely because he’s an all-rounder. It’s noticeable that he plays the spinners pretty well, mainly because he’s a spinner himself, so there’s not so much mystery. The same applies to Joe Root (or would if he bowled himself more, even if only to assess the surface ore intimately) but not so many other batsmen. It makes you wonder if everybody shouldn’t be an all-rounder.”
Now, if you’ll permit us to wander into nostalgia, today is the 12th anniversary of that astounding final morning at Edgbaston in 2005. Relive that with the over-by-over from that Sunday, or: The Worst Morning Of Rob Smyth’s Life, Which Turned Into The Best.
Let’s start with a quick catch-up, shall we? The splendid Vic Marks was at Old Trafford yesterday, so you’ll do much worse than reading his version of events as England took control of the Test.
Let’s just take a moment to appreciate Moeen Ali. And more pertinently, that some people don’t appreciate Moeen Ali. For a long time the easy thing to say about his batting was that he’s a stylist, and it still feels like half an insult whenever someone says he’s a beautiful batsman to watch because there’s almost an unspoken implication that he lacks substance. But he’s won Test matches for England before on both sides of his remarkable talent, and the 67 he’s got here might already be the difference between success and otherwise.
While arbitrary milestones are just that and Jonny Bairstow’s innings wasn’t any less valuable because he fell a single run short of a century, it would take a heart of a terracotta tile to not desperately hope he gets another 33 runs today. There might be genuine questions about how he’ll fare in Australia, and where his main role in the side sits, but for the moment, let’s appreciate Moeen Ali.
Alastair Cook batted all day and all night for 153 not out, with Joe Root also making a century on a superb day for England against a desperate West Indies
90th over: England 348-3 (Cook 153, Malan 28) Roston Chase comes on for the final over. “So spin for both ends with this brand new pink ball,” exhales Mikey Holding. The over passes without incident to complete a great day for England, a desperate one for West Indies, and a decent one for the concept of day-night cricket. Alastair Cook batted all day and all of the night for 153 not out, and has a great chance of a huge score tomorrow. Thanks for your company; night!
89th over: England 345-3 (Cook 152, Malan 26) The offspinner Brathwaite returns to the attack. These last 10 overs have surely been a devilishly subtle satire. Nothing happens, and we have one over remaining.
88th over: England 344-3 (Cook 152, Malan 25) Cook flicks Joseph for the 52nd and 53rd boundaries of the day. There are truths, undeniable truths and statistics. The West Indies attack have been walking fourballs. The second of those boundaries takes Cook to a very good and very predictable 150.
Malan then does well to defend a sharp inswinger. There have been some good deliveries with this second new ball but they will be forgotten, like an insight during an orgasm, because of the accompanying rubbish.
87th over: England 333-3 (Cook 143, Malan 24) Roach looks a bit tired - this is his 20th over - and drifts onto the pads of Cook, who flicks it for four with the aid of a misfield. “Not too sure what to say about that,” says Mikey Holding. The West Indies have had a monumental shocker today. It really does bring to mind those desperate first days of the Ashes series in 1994-95 and 2002-03. Except they were funny.
“Never mind Chivas Regal, anyone who cares should go for a single malt,” says John Starbuck. “I’m currently sipping a Glen Moray, which has the additional benefit of being one of the few drinks at which you can point and sing an appropriate Dean Martin number, That’s Amore. Incidentally, if anyone does care, try shopping at www.thewhiskyexchange.com which has many specialist drinks for the connoisseur.”
86th over: England 326-3 (Cook 138, Malan 24) The main entertainment at the moment is Mikey Holding’s quiet, weary meltdown. Joseph swings an attempted yorker into Malan, who flicks breezily through midwicket for two and hooks the next ball emphatically for four. That was the best shot of his Test career so far.
“This sort of situation is now a bit counter-productive for England,” says Mark Hooper. “The old heads have shown how easy it is to amass runs which just sets the new batsmen up for a fall, doesn’t it?”
85th over: England 319-3 (Cook 135, Malan 18)Malan reaches for a Roach outswinger and drives confidently for four. I think I now know what it was like to be an Australian fan during an Ashes series in the 1990s. It’s not easy to convey just how comprehensive a mess the West Indies have made of this last half hour. In the Sky commentary box, Mikey Holding is proving that it is possible to lose one’s rag mellifluously. The voice hasn’t changed but you don’t need to be a Countdown Octochamp to realise he is furious.
“I wonder if, in future, there is a case for the Twilight Watchman - like some sort of peripheral Marvel universe superhero?” says Brian Withington. “I think Jimmy could take it in his stride.”
84th over: England 314-3 (Cook 135, Malan 14) Cummins shares the new ball, and starts with a no-ball. Even with the extra half-hour, West Indies are struggling to get their overs in; it will be pretty shoddy if they waste some of their twilight overs. There’s a slightly strange atmosphere. Many of the crowd are clearly well pissed, as they are singing a never-ending version of Don’t Take Me Home. What was supposed to be the most exciting part of the day has so far been notable only for its weirdness. Malan moves into double figures with an excellent back cut for four.
83rd over: England 307-3 (Cook 134, Malan 9) After two of the most ridiculous overs in many a year, West Indies take the second new ball and give it to Kemar Roach, who shouldn’t have been taken out of the attack in the first place. He shapes one away from Cook, who opens the face to steer it for four. Nothing else to report.
“Chivas Regal,” says Daniel Harris, “is exactly the whisky that someone whose middle initial was part of their given name would think was good.”
82nd over: England 302-3 (Cook 129, Malan 9) Now Brathwaite is continuing! This is absurd. The new pink ball is available, under lights, and the West Indies are bowling two offspinners. It would be wrong to call this a shambles, because some shambles have redeeming features. Stuart Law is trying to get a message onto the field, and here comes the 12th man.
81st over: England 301-3 (Cook 128, Malan 9) Jason Holder replaces Kemar Roach, which is weird, and doesn’t take the second new ball, which is weirder. That decision is almost unfathomable, as everybody expects the new ball to do plenty under lights. A strange over continues when Holder limps off the field after three deliveries, and the offspinner Roston Chase is going to complete the over. This is bizarre. West Indies have waited all day for these 10 overs, and now they don’t seem interested in taking advantage of them. You don’t need a GCSE in body language to know that their coach Stuart Law is effin and jeffin internally.
80th over: England 298-3 (Cook 127, Malan 7) After another over of nothing from Brathwaite, the second new ball is available. England have scored 52 runs in the last 20 overs, a reflection of how tricky it can be to time the old pink ball.
79th over: England 297-3 (Cook 126, Malan 7) Malan gets his first boundary, thick-edging Roach wide of the slips for four. He looks nervous, as you’d expect given his career situation. But as Nasser has just said on Sky, if he can return tomorrow afternoon on 20-odd not out, he will have a great opportunity to make his first significant Test score.
78th over: England 292-3 (Cook 125, Malan 3) Brathwaite continues with his filler before the second new ball is due. Malan plays a series of solid defensive shots, and there’s nothing else to say.
“As far as I can see from this,” says Matt Emerson, “the diligent journalist and all-round role model Hunter S Thompson started his day with Chivas Regal. His views on cricket went with him to the grave, I believe.”
77th over: England 291-3 (Cook 124, Malan 3) Roach sits Malan down with a terrific bouncer. This, all of a sudden, is a contest. Malan must be pretty hacked off to miss the run buffet earlier in the day.
“I thought the other issue with the white ball was that they cannot get one to last 50 overs never mind 80,” says Brian Withington. “Hence the use of two white balls in ODIs.”
76th over: England 291-3 (Cook 124, Malan 3) Malan is dropped! He tried to cut a wide ball from the offspiner Kraigg Brathwaite that took the edge and went straight through the man at first slip. Correct, I don’t know who that man is. It was a very sharp chance and I don’t think he got hands on it; it hit his body and deflected away.
“I do like the idea of making Cook the captain,” says Pete Salmon. “Take some of the pressure off Joe Root.”
75th over: England 290-3 (Cook 124, Malan 2) Dawid Malan, who has come to the crease at the worst possible time, gets off the mark. Roach has been good today, easily the pick of the West Indies bowlers, and he has figures of two for 52.
Kemar Roach strikes! Root drives all around a good delivery from wide on the crease that goes through the gate and rams into the stumps. It was a fine innings, but he will be irritated by what was a relatively needless dismissal. He’d been struggling to time the old pink ball for the last hour or so.
74th over: England 286-2 (Cook 123, Root 135) “As an uninformed cricket enthusiast, what was the impetus for the new pink ball?” says Tom Elliott. “I suppose with all new change comes some uneasiness and uncertainty but is the change worth the apparent degradation in play?”
They have to try day-night cricket, in the hope it will save Tests, and they can’t use a white ball because of the white clothing. I agree with Mike Selvey that they use should a white ball and coloured clothing. The big break with tradition has already happened, so I don’t see why you have to stick with the whites.
73rd over: England 286-2 (Cook 123, Root 135) Cook upbraids himself after fishing unnecessarily at Joseph. That’s the last ball before drinks.
“Mate, how about you comment on the emails rather than this joke of a Test,” sniffs Ian Copestake. “Sort it out.”
72nd over: England 285-2 (Cook 123, Root 134) Cook drives Cummins sweetly down the ground for three. This is a timely innings for him, his first hundred in nine Tests. He hasn’t been particularly out of nick in that time but nor has he been as productive as usual.
“I’ve been in a meeting so am not really following, but tequila for breakfast is not just fine but a good idea,” says Chris. “There’s a bar in Chicago’s O’Hare airport (terminal 1) that does an amazing bloody maria (a bloody mary with tequila not vodka) that is perfect at 8am. They won’t put the cricket on, though.”
71st over: England 279-2 (Cook 120, Root 131) Cook is beaten, fiddling absentmindedly outside off stump at Joseph. The sun is starting to go down, so the pink-ball fun might - might - be about to begin.
“If we’re finding this depressing,” like Felix Wood, “think how Stoneman and Westley must be feeling.”
70th over: England 276-2 (Cook 117, Root 131) I honestly don’t know what to type. England are stockpiling runs with minimal risk, if that, and West Indies look pretty forlorn.
“I was looking at the photo on top of the OBO and was thinking about how very young Alistair Cook still looks,” says Sam Goodliffe. “It occurred to me that this point in his career - settled, nothing to prove - would be a perfect time for him to take on the captaincy role. Why do England (&Wales) insist on having their captains so young?”
69th over: England 273-2 (Cook 115, Root 130) Root digs out a good yorker from Joseph. The ball is very old now: 69 pink-ball overs are worth about 120 with a red ball. That’s making it a lot harder to time, and at the moment the game is going nowhere.
“Maybe alongside the pink ball we could spice things up with a Hunger Games element,” says Mark Hooper. “At the start of certain overs, different weapons appear on the outfield for the fielding team to use.”
68th over: England 272-2 (Cook 114, Root 130) England have slowed down a little in the last half an hour. They now look merely immovable, rather than unstoppable. Root enlivens proceedings with an actual false stroke, a play-and-miss at Cummins.
“Maybe alongside the pink ball we could spice things up with a Hunger Games element,” says Mark Hooper. “At the start of certain overs, different weapons appear on the outfield for the fielding team to use.”
67th over: England 270-2 (Cook 113, Root 129) I can’t remember the last time England made runs with such ease and inevitability in a Test match. We might have to go back to the Bangladesh series in 2005. Still no sign of any mischief under the lights, though that may change when the natural light disappears.
“Tequila for breakfast,” says my colleague Daniel Harris. “Any stag, no?”
66th over: England 270-2 (Cook 113, Root 129) Except this is the third wicket, and I am an idiot. Anything to get Rob Key in the OBO.
“At what point,” says Gareth Fitzgerald, “do we call these average-bolstering innings ‘a Voges’?”
65th over: England 266-2 (Cook 111, Root 127) The new bowler Alzarri Joseph is short and wide to Cook, who slaps a back cut for four. This partnership is now worth 227. The highest second-wicket partnership in this fixture is 291, between Andrew Strauss and - yep - RWT Key at Lord’s in 2004.
“Beer at breakfast is just not right,” says Damian Clarke. “It simply ruins the Coco Pops. No, tequila is for breakfast.”
64th over: England 260-2 (Cook 105, Root 127) Chase is being milked with ease, to the tune of five singles in that over. There’s no joy in this, not if you love cricket.
63rd over: England 255-2 (Cook 102, Root 125) Root leans into a wide delivery from Holder and drives it classically through the covers for four. He has a greedy streak in him too, which is what all those sixties and seventies frustrate him so much, and he’ll want a double hundred here.
“What do I do when EastEnders is on the other channel?” says Jeremy Bunting. “I know that I can catch up on iPlayer but it’s messing with my routine.”
62nd over: England 249-2 (Cook 101, Root 120) Cook is playing with such certainty that he could threaten his own record for the highest Test score on this ground, 294 against India in 2011. Anything feels possible at the moment, such is England’s total control.
Here’s David Hopkins. “Is there any decline in the fortunes of a major sports team sadder, and more deleterious to the sport itself, than that of the West Indies Test side?”
61st over: England 246-2 (Cook 100, Root 118) “I think we’ve got this sorted now,” says John Starbuck. “The first break is for Tiffin, the second is for High Tea. It doesn’t matter what the accompanying liquid is, as some people have been known to drink beer at breakfast.”
60th over: England 246-2 (Cook 100, Root 118) Chase to Root, who scrunches a supreme extra-cover drive for four. That’s the 43rd boundary of the day, which is mildly staggering. What is not remotely staggering is that, with all the fourballs on offer, Alastair Cook has helped himself to a 31st Test century. He gets there with a single off Chase and celebrates with a modest smile. It’s the first hundred of his golden years back in the ranks. There should be plenty more.
“I guess West Indies are, alas, the perfect opponents for this trial of pink balls, floodlights and late eating,” says Ian Copestake. “The newness distracts from that feeling of wanting to intervene when you see someone being bullied but you can’t because you have a short attention span and have just seen a pink ball.”
59th over: England 238-2 (Cook 98, Root 112) Holder goes back over the wicket to Cook, who cuts a single to move to 98. He’s in no hurry to reach his hundred.
“John Holder was on TMS recently and he said that in one-day games Chris Tavare hit the ball more fiercely than anyone else he had ever umpired,” says John Marshall. “I almost fell off my chair.”
58th over: England 234-2 (Cook 97, Root 110) Cook puts Chase away for four to move into the nerveless nineties (West Indies version), and helps himself to another boundary to end the over. This is men against bairns.
“Further to Dan Silk’s point, Ms Lee’s email also suggests she isn’t a regular OBO follower or she would be offering you the more traditional ‘almost clean grundies’ and ‘faded Red Dwarf t-shirt’, surely?” sniffs Robin Hazlehurst. “I could be mistaken, but ‘exquisitely tailored’ is not really a phrase I would have instantly associated with the late session on the OBO.”
57th over: England 224-2 (Cook 88, Root 109) Jason Holder starts at the other end. His right arm is heavily strapped, and he feels his bicep after the first delivery. Not in the narcissistic beefcake style, you understand; he was feeling it gently because it hurt. The four-balls hurt too - pick that segue out - and he gives another to Root with a leg-stump full toss that is clipped through square leg.
56th over: England 219-2 (Cook 87, Root 105) The floodlights are on, though the experts don’t expect the game to change much until the sun goes down around 8.30pm. The offspinner Roston Chase starts the final session, the money session, with a quiet over.
“Rob,” says Brian Withington. “If Root sets the tone as you suggest, and the ball provides the (somewhat garish) colour, I guess Cook should be offering contrast? Clearly the bowling is not yet doing much on the hold front. Bring on the twilight zone.”
“Hi Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Yeah, Root sets the tone like nobody since Chris Tavaré. A different tone, admittedly, but still.”
“Not to bring up a tedious debate or anything,” says Sachin Paul, “but doesn’t KP count as a tone-setting batsmen? Think Root has a Mumbai and Adelaide kind of domination to come before he can claim that.”
I meant specifically setting the tone for the series in the first Test; should have specified that. Nasser Hussain was extremely good too but Root is exceptional.
55th over: England 215-2 (Cook 85, Root 103) The crowd are in impressive, presumably drunken voice, which suggests there will be plenty of self-loathing in the workplace tomorrow. They have more to cheer when Cook pings the last ball before tea through midwicket for four. England are in total control and have given themselves all kinds of insurance against all potential twilight nastiness in the final session. This, sad to say, is a complete mismatch. See you in a bit.
54th over: England 211-2 (Cook 81, Root 103) Root slashes Chase to third man for four to move to 98, and then pulls a long hop round the corner to reach an effortless century. He might not make an easier one in his Test career. It came from 139 balls, with 19 fours. It’s Root 13th in Tests, and six of those have come in the first innings of a new series. He is England’s best tone-setting batsman for decades.
53rd over: England 201-2 (Cook 80, Root 94) England are proceeding with caution against Roach; partly because of the quality of his bowling, partly because tea is imminent. A maiden to Cook.
“Longtime OBO lurker with an important question,” writes Sam. “Will there be tea consumed during the tea break? Or has it now shifted to tea consumed with fork and knife? I’m not sure I’d be comfortable calling it dinner.”
52nd over: England 201-2 (Cook 80, Root 94) The offspinner Chase returns to the attack. He’s a good holding bowler but not much more than that, so England will be happy to be facing him in the second session on day one. Two from the over.
“Rob,” says Dan Silk. “The letter from Ms Lee (over 48) leads to two important deductions. 1) she’s not a cricket fan, or she’d never invite you to be in Ontario during the first 3 days of the second Windies Test. 2) You’re running low on emails, so I’m in with a chance here.”
51st over: England 199-2 (Cook 79, Root 93) Root survives a huge shout for caught behind when he is beaten on the inside by a fine delivery from Roach. There was a noise, but it was ball on trouser pocket and West Indies wisely decided not to review. Later in the over Cook, pushing with hard hands, edges over gully for four. Roach has been the West Indies’ most threatening bowler by a distance.
50th over: England 194-2 (Cook 75, Root 92) The wicket window seems rather small in these day/night affairs,” says Ian Copestake. “When is the next one scheduled for?”
It’s from 8.12 to 8.29pm. They’ve scheduled it deliberately to clash with Child Genius on Channel 4.
49th over: England 192-2 (Cook 74, Root 91) Root edges a fine delivery from Roach wide of gully for four, and moves into the nineties by stealing a second to the cover sweeper. There are about 25 minutes to tea, and I’m sure these two will want to be at the crease when the match enters the twilight zone.
48th over: England 186-2 (Cook 74, Root 85) Cummins is a touch wide to Root, who steers the ball easily to the third-man boundary. The pink ball was supposed to be a leveller, but so far this has been a mismatch.
“Hi Mr. Smyth,” writes Jessica Lee. “Hiras Fashion, bespoke tailors from Hong Kong, is all about making an exquisite tailored suit. Most importantly, that privilege is inspired by the gentleman/woman who wears it. Book an appointment throughout Ontario from August 22nd to 27th for your perfect fitting suits, shirts, jackets, trousers, tuxedos and more. Our master fitter, Mr. Andy Hira, would be glad to discuss your style and take note of your preferred details to establish the final cut of your garment.”
47th over: England 181-2 (Cook 74, Root 80) Many people expected the scoring rate to slow down as the pink ball got older, but that didn’t take into the account the quality of the West Indian bowling. Their pitchmap has been more Jackson Pollock than Shaun Pollock, though the current pair of Roach and Cummins have bowled okay.
“In response to Brian Withington 17.32, I think I can help,” says George Davidson. “Homer Simpson invented “Linner” - a meal between Lunch and Dinner. That might actually be perfect for a day/night break. As someone who tries to get a couple of days in at a Test each summer, I am fed up with seeing 70 of 90 overs bowled by 6pm and then an evening session lasting until 7pm. Hopefully the D/N format will address this especially with the threat of the earlier start next morning if they need to catch up.”
46th over: England 179-2 (Cook 73, Root 79) “It’s not been a good week for Flamin’ Hot Monster Munch: not only did it fail to make this student’s top tier of crisps and the Daily Mash gave it a rinsing for not being a genuine flavour!” says Tom Van der Gucht. “Dark times indeed...”
I don’t understand why so many people are interested in a student ranking crisp flavours from best to worst. If it was Gary Lineker I’d have been all ears, but not this character.
45th over: England 173-2 (Cook 72, Root 74) Kemar Roach replaces Holder, and continues the illogical around-the-wicket angle to Cook. He shrieks an appeal for LBW when Cook plays outside the line of an inducker. Trouble is, he was also outside the line of off stump. That was a weirdly over-the-top appeal from Roach. He sounded like he’s just dropped a hot iron on his unmentionables.
44th over: England 173-2 (Cook 72, Root 74) Joseph tries to york Cook, who digs it out. He’s had to scrap for every run in the last 10 months, so you’d expect him to score at least one daddy hundred in this series. When the going gets good, the tough still get going.
“Good evening,” says John Starbuck. “I suppose one of the OBO writer’s duties now is to tell us when the dew is taking effect. Any special towels on the field to dry off the ball?”
43rd over: England 171-2 (Cook 71, Root 73) Root laces Holder down the ground for four to move into the 70s. Shot! He loves setting the tone for a series – he averages 95 in the first innings of a first Test – and he seems to be breezing towards another hundred. He’ll be monstrously irritated if he fails to convert here.
“I like the funky idea of Jimmy opening,” says Robin Hazlehurst. “ particularly like the idea of his funky reaction on being told the news. I suppose you could say he was going in as a lunchwatchman... on the first day. Or highteawatchman or lateafternoonsnackwatchman or whatever we’d be calling it now.”
Cheers Vish, hello my lovelies. So far, day-night cricket has been a step into the known for England, with Cook and Root rescuing them after the usual false start. They have batted excellently, with the aid of some sadly abysmal bowling. Things might get a bit more unusual after tea, when the lights go on, but until then it’s an all-you-can-score buffet.
42nd over: England 166-2 (Cook 71, Root 68) A bit bad old West Indies now. Fields set for bad bowling and still runs being scored. Root throws his hands through a short, wide ball that races through point. With that, I’m off. Thanks for your company. Rob Smyth will take you into the night.
41st over: England 161-2 (Cook 71, Root 63) Another four down the leg side, albeit leg byes, reflects more indiscipline from West Indies’ bowlers. Atherton makes a great point, as ever: Holder doesn’t take the ball away from left-handers with this angle – like Flintoff used to, especially when it was reversing – so there’s no real threat to Alastair Cook’s outside edge. And therefore, nothing to niggle away at the back of Cook’s mind. Dawid Malan looks on, pad rash slowly reaching his bones...
40th over: England 153-2 (Cook 67, Root 63) And there it is – Root gets his first runs through the V of the summer. It’s a glorious drive off an early eighties delivery from Joseph. Just on the mid on side of the stumps. So clean you could eat off it.
39th over: England 149-2 (Root 59, Cook 67) Holder is around the wicket to Cook. It’s a fine over up until the very last delivery when the right-armer looses his line and the leftie just lays a smidge of bat on ball to work it around the corner, inside fine leg for four.
ICYMI Here’s the unplayable seed that saw off Opener No.12
WICKET Stoneman bowled by a beauty from Roach for 8
38th over: England 145-2 (Cook 63, Root 59) Century partnership up between Cook and Root as the latter pulls Alzarri Joseph powerfully through square leg for four. Another follows next delivery, this one steered expertly through vacant gully. Worth chucking in a third man now that Root has his eye in?
37th over: England 137-2 (Cook 63, Root 51) Now it’s Jason Holder’s turn to be swiped away to midwicket by Cook. Easy as you like. Brian Whithington emails in:
“The great Day/Night Catering Debate puts me in mind of Homer Simpson proudly proclaiming that he had invented a meal between breakfast and brunch. Sadly I cannot for the life of me remember what he called it.” I don’t think Homer ever divulged that.
36th over: England 131-2 (Cook 57, Root 51) A single to Cook. Little else. Here’s Keiran Betteley:
“Regarding Alex H’s tactical suggestion. Can only say that I remember it working a treat when I sent out a different Jimmy A ( a gent, but rather more of a specialist fine leg and mascot than a doughty opener) out to face the shiny ball for the Unavoidables CC. Jim, fired up by the trust and responsibility place in him by his captain, racked up his biggest ever total (admittedly it was 12 with the majority coming not quite from the middle), and wore off the shine whilst cunningly using up the overs of the oppo’s decent bowlers. It’s so crazy it just might work with a different Jimmy A.”
That list in full:
Fifties in most consecutive Tests:
AB de Villiers 12 Viv Richards 11 Gautam Gambhir 11 Virender Sehwag 11 Mominul Haque 11 Joe Root 11
35th over: England 130-2 (Cook 56, Root 51) That’s Joe Root’s 31st Test fifty, brought up with an uppish cut of Jason Holder, which goes finer that he’d have liked. It’s come off 83 balls. It is also the 11th Test in a row that he’s scored a half-century, drawing him level with the likes of IVA Richards and Virender Sehwag. AB de Villiers leads the way with 12. “When you say ‘Cook bunts a full toss from Royston Chase to cover’(29th over) , did he grab the bottom of his bat or are we talking non-baseball terminology?” Oh, if only he did that. Seeing the pinkie well enough to get funky. He merely checked the drive on impact. Nowhere near as fun.
34th over: England 126-2 (Cook 56, Root 47) Miguel Cummins is still not sure if Alastair Cook is really REALLY good on his pads, so serves him another on his hip. The fielder at midwicket goes for a jog.
33rd over: England 122-2 (Cook 52, Root 47) Class from Rooteh. Stays out of the V as Royston puts one up and outside off stump. Root plants his front foot forward and slaps that through cover for four to finish the over.
32nd over: England 116-2 (Cook 51, Root 42) Fascinating graphic just put up onscreen: Joe Root hasn’t score a single Test run in the V this summer. The region they tell you to exploit when you’re new to the crease. Down the ground, mid on, mid off, jumpers for stumps. He nearly gets his first moments later, but the size 12s of Miguel Cummins gets in the way.
31st over: England 115-2 (Cook 51, Root 41) Bounce and a bit of turn from Chase brings four down the leg side. Off Root’s thigh pad, though. Takes one off his pads to move off 40.
Meanwhile, an alert from county cricket – if you don’t follow Essex’s head groundsman, rectify that now...
30th over: England 110-2 (Cook 51, Root 40) Maiden to Cummins. An incredible statistic has been brought to my attention by Robin Hobbs:
“Just realised England’s captain and vice captain are the youngest members of the XI. Is this a first?”
29th over: England 110-2 (Cook 51, Root 40) Cook bunts a full toss from Royston Chase to cover, as the other end is opened this innings with some off-spin. Just a single from it.
28th over: England 109-2 (Cook 50, Root 40) Very much an after-interval over, delivered by Miguel Cummins. Most are outside off stump. Root leaves most alone. Cummins over steps for the first no ball of the innings. Root then wafts needlessly at one. Second slip burps, Holder wonders if he had a bit too much quiche.
Just before we get back to the action, here’s an email from Alex Henderson:
“With England having no one emerging to take on the number 2 and 3 slots, plus the abundance of all-rounders they have at the moment, when England bat first, why not send Anderson out to open with Cook, with Broad in at 3?” **Sits up in chair** Go on...
As ever, Lord Selvey cuts to the core of the Great Meal Break Debate
Catering is all to cock with these playing hours. So 40 mins for sandwiches now and 20 for a carvery later.
Good to hear many of you are coping well with the time shift. Some, like William D, are struggling:
“I agree with [REDACTED] at Over 16. I was irritated in the delay to my procrastination from 11 until 2 today. Now I’ll have to follow the last few hours of play on my phone whilst trying to simultaneously watch an actual live match at the Oval tonight...”
27th over: England 108-2 (Cook 50, Root 40) Another misfield in the covers allows Cook to take a single for his 56th Test half-century.
26th over: England 106-2 (Cook 49, Root 39) Starting to get a bit ragged in the field as the interval approaches. Alastair Cook gets four through the covers thanks to a slack bit of fielding that sees the man stationed to cut that shot off dive over the ball! Root ends the over with another flick off middle stump.
25th over: England 97-2 (Cook 44, Root 35) Frustration for Joseph. A straight ball is flicked through midwicket for four by Root. Fine, Joseph thinks. The next is an outswinger enticing a similar/straighter shot, hoping for the edge. Instead, Root beats third man to the rope with a well executed late drive.
@Vitu_E What's happened to the ball? It's almost invisible at real time and looks very pink in slow motion. Have I missed something?
24th over: England 89-2 (Cook 44, Root 27) Two off the over, with the single taken off the final ball bringing up the fifty partnership between Cook and Root. Some interesting information here from Luke Harris on colour-blindness:
“Huw Swanborough’s inability to see the pink ball interested me, as a fellow Deutan (red-green colour blind.) I put the match on to confirm. Any excuse eh?
23rd over: England 87-2 (Cook 43, Root 26) Maiden from Alzarri Joseph. A double change sees the opener quicks return.
22nd over: England 87-2 (Cook 43, Root 26) Roach returns and his extra nip allows Cook to hop on one leg as he whips through square leg for four.
21st over: England 83-2 (Cook 39, Root 26) Any of you following this game on Sky Sports? If not, you’ve missed a great exchange between Michaels Holding and Atherton – two of the very best – on why Jason Holder doesn’t bowl quicker despite being “six-foot-plenty”. Holding reckons part of the reason is that Holder doesn’t have a braced front knee. Therefore, he doesn’t come over it as quickly when delivering the ball – think of it like a javelin thrower’s front leg, bringing the rest of their body right through, over the top of that straight leg. I’ve probably butchered the great man, there. Anyway, Not As Quick As He Should Be Holder is skimmed across the turf through cover and bashed through midwicket by Root.
20th over: England 75-2 (Cook 39, Root 18) Cummins offering enough boundary balls to negate the control he’s enjoying in this spell (seven overs, one for 21 so far). Wide outside off stump to Cook. Bloodbath!
1/2 @Vitu_E Pink ball Tests. I feel like I'm part of history. Arguably, for the first time this week, the good kind.
2/2 @Vitu_E On another note, Mark Butcher's got a touch of the Alexei Sayles about him these days, hasn't he?
19th over: England 71-2 (Cook 35, Root 18) That’s more like it! Root crunches a wide delivery through cover point and away to the fence.
18th over: England 67-2 (Cook 35, Root 14) Cummins with a maiden. The ball is starting to go a bit, well, “meh”. It’s not coming off the pitch or off the bat with any great excitement. Which isn’t ideal given we’re only 18 overs in... Ant Pease is back with his two pennies on the great meal break debate: “The game is in Edgbaston. If the organisers had any heart, dinner would be taken with a few lagers at a curryhouse in Selly Oak.”
17th over: England 67-2 (Cook 35, Root 14) Another one of *those* maidens from Jason Holder. Root happy to leave most alone as the seamer varies his position on the crease to little change in the batsmen’s approach. John Gresty on email writes: “Call me old-fashioned but I think ‘tiffin’ and ‘nosebag’ have both got a ring to them.”
16th over: England 67-2 (Cook 35, Root 14) Cummins strays onto the hip of Cook. You know the rest. Here’s an email from someone who has asked to remain nameless: “Lee Smith makes a good point about the county championship round. By the third consecutive evening of nocturnal pink ball activity I discovered a genuinely new concept, namely that you can actually have too much cricket. Also, don’t the authorities know that the main reason for having cricket on during the day is to give the cricket following great unwashed something to distract us from actually doing some work?” Good point, [REDACTED].
15th over: England 59-2 (Cook 28, Root 13) I like this from Jason Holder, even if Root is able to hit through cover without needing to adjust the face of his bat to beat a fielder. The region is bare as Holder looks to coerce Root into having a go at one that isn’t quite there. Root keeps his cool.
14th over: England 55-2 (Cook 28, Root 9) Another run in the covers, as Root nicks low and innocuously to third slip off Cummins. Saves three.
Huw Swanborough writes in: “I can’t see the pink ball at all in real time footage. But then I am colour blind and don’t expect to be able to. Neither could Chris Rogers during trialling the pink ball and he too is colour blind.” So too, is Gary Ballance. I’ll let Vic take it away (from his piece in June):
One of the potential boons for spectators is that so many England players will be playing this week. It is an interesting undertaking for Yorkshire’s Gary Ballance in particular. He has been the domestic batsman of the season and must be in line for a recall to the Test team. But he is colour blind and there is the suggestion that he will therefore find the pink ball harder to pick up. Chris Rogers of Australia, who is also colour blind, found this a problem.
Fortunately Yorkshire have a club optician, who is sorting out the best options for their leading batsman. Another century for Ballance against Surrey – and a pink ball – at Headingley and he surely has to be selected for the first Test.
13th over: England 54-2 (Cook 28, Root 8) A maiden from Jason Holder but one of those which doesn’t threaten Cook much. As a bowler, Holder is a basking shark: looks quite scary but is fairly innocuous. Both love their plankton.
@Vitu_E Opener crisis could be solved by locking Root in a dark room and then sending him out with Cook while telling him Eng are 22 for 2.
12th over: England 54-2 (Cook 28, Root 8) Nicely done from Root. Leaves all five to start and gets Cummins to find him. When he does, Root goes on his toes and guides a drive through gully for four bits.
George Brown writes: “On the subject of the names for the new breaks in play, I’ve been advocating ‘High Tea’ and ‘Cocktails’.” Similarly - anyone for “Pre-lash” and “Kebab stop”?
11th over: England 50-2 (Cook 28, Root 4) Team half-century up with defensive cover-up from Cook, who moves late and back to defend a rising delivery from skipper Jason Holder, who brings himself on for Kemar Roach.
10th over: England 46-2 (Cook 24, Root 4) This could have been an excellent over but for a comical bit of fielding by mid on, who dives needlessly and misses a tame drive from Root. What should have been none becomes three.
“Jinxes notwithstanding- the ball being pink helps people in the crowd to see it when it keeps hurtling toward the boundary.” Good point, Ant Pease. Interesting discussions on Twitter right now, led by former Test batsmen Mark Butcher, on how the pink ball is coming across on TV. Worth clicking on his own quoted Tweet below and reading through the thread.
9th over: England 42-2 (Cook 23, Root 1) Root off the mark with a scampered single as Roach perhaps starts to feel the strain of his opening spell. Five overs so far and he sends a few wide of the off stump.
8th over: England 39-2 (Cook 22, Root 0) A few inswingers and that key punchline – back in, sharp. Well bowled, Miguel. Wicket maiden to start his Test.
Problem with playing West Indies is that the likes of Stoneman and Westley will misleadingly fill their boots ahead of the Ashes...
Out on review, which is a nonsense – how did Marais Erasmus not give that out on the field? Miguel Cummins moves one into Westley, hits about shin height and looks like it’s taking leg stump for a walk. Holder asks for DRS, Hawkeye does the rest.
7th over: England 39-1 (Cook 22, Westley 8) A second maiden for Roach, who currently has figures of one for 14 from his four overs. “Do AC’S opening partners begin to remind you of Kenny, from South Park in any way?” Spot on. Dying at the end of every episode, back to life for the next series with a new hood only to suffer the same fate each week.
6th over: England 39-1 (Cook 22, Westley 8) Alzarri Joseph’s not quite hit his straps, but he hasn’t bowled badly. This over a case in point: he finds Cook’s edge, gets the inswinger going and is pushing the late eighties throughout. The issue is that Cook’s edge was guided through gully, again, for four and Westley uses the pace to punch through cover off the back foot.
Afternoon, Lee Smith. “Just as interested to see how the OBO fares as much as the cricketers themselves, having been through the County pink ball round of fixtures with Will MacP, I predict a series case of discombobulation sometime around Saturday evening. About 9pm.” I expect we’ll all be a little off-the-wall by then. Thankfully, Rob Smyth will have tagged in by then. “You’ll need to channel your inner Lionel...”
5th over: England 30-1 (Cook 17, Westley 4) T-Dubz off the mark with a punch down the ground through mid on.
@Vitu_E Can I be the idiot and ask why a pink ball is needed for d/n tests?
4th over: England 26-1 (Cook 17, Westley 0) Cook in good order, in case you were wondering. You weren’t, were you? Works well through midwicket for four, then drives serenely through the covers for a second. The third finishes the over off – a cut through backward point. Have they not watched this bloke play before? Not there, Alzarri.
“So what’s the story on Hameed?” asks Mohamed Joomun. “I know he’s been out of form, but as they say ‘form is temporary; class is permanent’.” Had a solid second-innings against Hampshire the other day so looks to be on the way up. England are still monitoring him very closely and it sounds like they want him to keep going for Lancashire till the end of the season. Wouldn’t be surprised if he then makes it to Australia as the spare opener (I trust Stoneman to score big this series).
3rd over: England 14-1 (Cook 5, Westley 0) A wicket maiden for Roach, which ends with him beating Tom Westley on the outside edge. He’s back.
Oh my... what an absolute seed! Roach moves the ball into the left-hander but it nips away after it pitches and clips the very top of off stump. Wowee
2nd over: England 14-0 (Cook 5, Stoneman 8) Alzarri Joseph, 20-years-old, star of West Indies successful U19 World Cup last year, takes the second over. He’s got a bit more pace about him but he hasn’t quite translated his age-group form to the big league. Still, he shapes up nicely and nearly brings one back in enough to force Cook to chop on. The former England captain even pinches a boundary edging through gully.
1st over: England 10-0 (Cook 1, Stoneman 8) The first run with the pink ball comes off the very first delivery, as Cook tips and runs to give Mark Stoneman his first taste of Test cricket. There’s a lot of chat about how seamers need to make use of the new nut (as ever). Roach, though, has other ideas. He sends one into second slip (yep, really), then over-pitches allowing Stoneman to caress through covert for his first boundary of his international career. The second comes soon after, picking off a leg-stump half-volley through vacant square leg.
“Top of the afternoon to you.” And to you, John Starbuck. “There’s been plenty lately about what happened in previous England-Windies encounters, so you might want to be careful about the imagery today. Bloodying a few noses probably wouldn’t go down well in the Gatting household, for instance. Focus on how the ball behaves and decide if the outcomes depend on uncertainties on the part of the batsmen or genuine physics. I expect a few OBO readers will help out on the latter.”
There we go,bit of history. First delivery in a day-night Test in England. Roach to Cook. Single taken. #ENGvWIpic.twitter.com/A8ISkAg1y4
Alastair Cook and Mark Stoneman, England’s 12th opener with AC since Andrew Strauss slid away in 2012, are out in the middle. Jason Holder finishes his huddle and we are moments away from action...
Good afternoon to Matthew Doherty: “Are the batsmen allowed miners lamps on their helmets?” Not a bad shout. I’ve played in a couple of club matches that were lit by the headlights of a car. Same premise, right? Also, batsmen tend to watch their shots, even if they don’t go to the boundary, so the path will be illuminated for fielders, too. Matthew, you might be a genius.
“So then, England are batting,” starts Neil Harris. He’s been playing attention. “Can I start the #declerationspeculation?” Go wild. Our man from Edgbaston, Ali Martin, is way ahead of you:
Joe Root wins the toss and England are batting. Early chance for Mark Stoneman to impress. Chance of a funky declaration tonight?
(slim)
“It looks a belter,” says Joe Root, who gets the inaugural English day-night Test up and running with a horrendous coin toss. Really poor. The sort of toss you’d ask to be redone if it was settling a pub score. We know his side – Stoneman in, no Chris Woakes – but we’ve got a surprise with the West Indies XI, with no Shannon Gabriel. Holder wants him to get overs under his belt: “He had a run out at Derby and it didn’t quite go according to plan.” No spinners, either, as leg spinner Devendra Bishoo is left out. Miguel Cummins, who takes Gabriel’s place, is seriously quick.
Already, some sage advice from a pink ball VETERAN:
@Vitu_E my thoughts on today - after being at Day 1 of the CC D/N game at Trent Bridge - take a blanket!
@Vitu_E Local report from Edgbaston #EngvWI - it rained quite a lot overnight - Jerusalem has been played over PA system but no Bob Marley
Feels quite disconcerting pounding away at the keyboard for a Test match preamble when the morning has already come and gone and the afternoon is just getting its eye in. Tell you what - it feels a lot like jet lag. My eyes can’t quite grasp the light, my throat is parched, nose clogged (always is, mind) and my meals are out of sync. Had some sushi for breakfast about 20-minutes ago. Day-Night Test cricket, eh?
You join me for history in the making: the first pink ball English Test. This will be the fifth overall, with three having taken place in Adelaide, Australia and one – the most dire of the lot – in the UAE between Pakistan and West Indies. The key difference here is that we’ve got a Dukes ball, which might not seem like a big deal, but given Dukes’ superiority with the red one and the cat fight that has erupted between them and Kookaburra over the last week, it’ll probably garner for column inches than Mark Stoneman on debut (he’s good; five-seasons with over a thousand first-class runs in a row good) or the rebirth/re-death of West Indies cricket.
Some fantastic images of England v West Indies battles through the years …
Vish will be here shortly. Here’s Ali Martin on a landmark day (and night) for England:
Joe Root called on his England players to think on their feet before Thursday’s maiden day-night Test against West Indies at Edgbaston, urging them to put aside any preconceived ideas about how the pink ball will play under floodlights and adapt accordingly.
The uncapped Mark Stoneman in place of Keaton Jennings at the top of the order is the one change from the XI who completed the 3-1 victory over South Africa last week and, with the new set of tourists ranked eighth in the world, England’s target will be for a clean sweep in the three-game series, their last Test outings before the winter’s Ashes tour.
Play has been abandoned, alas. So West Indies have nine wickets to play with, and they are a mere 470 runs behind. The day belonged to Alastair Cook, who cruised to 243, but Jason Holder deserves some credit too, for somehow concocting five quick wickets to keep England down to the low 500s.
An email comes in from J Sims, entitled Animal. “I can say with some certainty that your occasional OBO contributor and erstwhile Guardian colleague, Dixe Wills, was the Life and Soul of said shenanigans in Bolivia and Peru in 1989.” Not a sentence I’ve ever read before. “Even those of us elsewhere over the continent heard the reports, and believed them all. As confirmation, I’m still at work on the East Coast of the USA, enjoying the same weather forecast (prolonged showers and intermittent thunder storms until 10pm) as my friends and family in Birmingham.
More on the great meal-break debate. “In my (tongue-in-cheek) opinion,” says Graeme Thorn, “the game changed irrevocably when limited-overs games moved from two breaks (lunch/tea) to one between innings.” Say what you like about the single break, it does make it easier for us OBO-ers to split the day in half.
The rain in Birmingham is attracting participles like “pelting” (D Gower) and “minging” (A Miller of Cricinfo). But at least we have a quick response from Phil Sawyer to my query about Friday nights in Lincoln (19:44).
“Well, I can’t speak for the rest of Lincoln, Tim, but for me that’s a pretty wild evening. They don’t call me Phil ‘The Party Animal’ Sawyer for nothing. Actually, they don’t call me Phil ‘The Party Animal’ Sawyer even if I pay them.” Ha. Is there an OBO reader out there who IS known as a party animal?
Cometh the rain, cometh Tom van der Gucht. “Weighing in on the fruit nicknames for the pink ball, perhaps it should be called a peach, as in Anderson just bowled a peach of a delivery - honk honk... I’ll get my coat.”
A confession.“Sorry,” says Phil Sawyer, “that was almost definitely my fault. Have been doing some spring (summer?) cleaning for the last couple of hours. Almost literally the moment I switched the vacuum cleaner off and thought ‘Job done, time for a drink and some cricket’ the rain came down and the players went off. On the other hand, it’s a lovely evening in Lincoln, I have a clean flat, and I’ve also mixed myself a large Moscow Mule, so swings and roundabouts.” Indeed. Is this a typical Friday night in Lincoln?
The forecast is for a longish break, which will at least allow a few plastered people to make it to the front of the pie queue.
On Twitter, Austin Baird has a question. “How common is it for a woman footballer to be represented by Windies batsmen? Hope Powell?” I don’t know, but I’m sure there was once a holding midfielder called Courtney Curtly.
16th over: West Indies 44-1 (Powell 18, Hope 25) Broad continues, over-pitches, and hands Powell the chance to cover-drive for four, which he accepts. He adds a two and a single with nudges to leg. These two have done OK, quietly moving through the gears. And the umps are calling for the covers. Shame.
15th over: West Indies 37-1 (Powell 11, Hope 25) Hope cuts Anderson for four and pushes him for two. Time for Roland-Jones, surely.
“I tried starting the tea debate yesterday,” says Sam Spijkers-Shaw. “I hadn’t come up with a suggestion at the time, but there’s a lot odd about this Test, whether it be for the better or the worse, so changing a name wouldn’t cause the biggest stir.
14th over: West Indies 31-1 (Powell 11, Hope 19) Hope nudges a single, and Powell keeps Broad out before playing a stylish tuck for four through midwicket. When the camera zooms in on Powell, he has the same look in his eye that Dele Alli has in the box.
13th over: West Indies 26-1 (Powell 7, Hope 18) Anderson restores order with a fine maiden to Powell. The crowd are singing, in a way that suggests they may have given up on the pie queue but persevered with the one at the bar.
A tweet from Mike Selvey, who was bowling for England against West Indies this time 41 years ago. “Eng, esp Broad, trying too hard with pink ball. Just pretend it’s the red one and revert to normal mode.”
12th over: West Indies 26-1 (Powell 7, Hope 18) The race for double figures has been a post-modern fable: The Tortoise and the Tortoise. It is won by a tortoise called Hope, with a clip for two off Broad, and suddenly the runs are flowing – a pull for four, an edge for four more. Root has had three slips all innings, when he could easily have five.
11th over: West Indies 16-1 (Powell 7, Hope 8) Anderson’s latest grapefruit is well handled by Hope, who tracks the swing and takes a single into the covers. Powell survives another lbw shout, possibly high, possibly pitching outside leg. Definitely high.
10th over: West Indies 14-1 (Powell 6, Hope 7) On come the lights, which is handy as the sky has gone charcoal grey. Broad locates the corridor of uncertainty better than he did before the break. Powell takes another sharp single, and would be gone if the throw had hit.
Is it me, or have they really messed up the meal breaks here? The first one should be tea, 20 minutes, at 4pm, as it has been, more or less, since 1899. And the second, round about now, should be 40 minutes (at least) and called something like supper. The person who made the decision must have forgotten what it’s like to be in a crowd of 20,000, most of whom feel like a pie.
“Looking at your picture of Jimmy Anderson’s quiff,” says Tom van der Gucht, “is a strangely exhilarating experience. Has he styled it like that in memory of Elvis after the anniversary of his death? Or is he aiming for more of a Morrissey look? Either way, it’s impressive stuff and reminds me that I need to book in to have my ears lowered.”
So West Indies go for a bite 501 runs behind. And an email arrives from Keith Aitchison. “Can we call a pink jaffa by its proper name? A grapefruit me thinks!” I like it.
9th over: West Indies 13-1 (Powell 5, Hope 7) Another quick single from Powell and that’s “tea”. After the clatter in late afternoon, it feels like an age since we had a wicket, but at least Steve Bannon is out – c Press Corps b Kelly, for a long-drawn-out 0.
8th over: West Indies 12-1 (Powell 4, Hope 7) Powell plays a crisp defensive shot and runs a quick single, which gets Mike Atherton purring.
7th over: West Indies 11-1 (Powell 3, Hope 7) Anderson beats Hope, twice: he’s producing two pink jaffas per over. But he also bowls a wide in between, to show that he’s human.
“Perspective?” says Geoff Wignall. “There have been plenty of (occasionally patronising) comments about how bad the Windies were in the field and obviously they weren’t great. But they did run into history’s highest-scoring Test opener and a possible all-time great, both in form. Only one other batsman reached 20, so were they really all that poor? I’ve only been able to follow by OBO so can’t judge for myself.” Me neither – I came racing back from Edinburgh this morning. What does anyone else reckon?
6th over: West Indies 10-1 (Powell 3, Hope 7) Ian Botham spots that the edge beat Stokes for pace, which may have been because the pitch has been sexed up by the drizzle.
Ben Stokes, at gully, can’t quite hold on to a flashing edge from Powell off Broad.
5th over: West Indies 8-1 (Powell 2, Hope 6) Raindrops are falling, so Anderson finds an even better line and beats Powell twice in a row. Powell fights back with a flick to fine leg, whereupon Anderson has another big shout for lbw, this time against Hope.
“Tim.” Ah, the reassuring sound of John Starbuck, picking up on my remark about the wicket at 18:14. “So what would you mix together to achieve the colour of the pink ball? And would it be drinkable?” For me, the answer is Benylin, and yes, at the risk of contradicting myself.
4th over: West Indies 7-1 (Powell 1, Hope 6) Kieran Powell nudges a single off Broad. And here’s Tom Bowtell, the OBO’s own Bearded Wonder. “Jimmy’s parsimonious summer has seen his average dip below 28 for the first time since Trent Bridge 2003. Could be a fair bit lower by the time the series is out.”
3rd over: West Indies 6-1 (Powell 0, Hope 6) Kyle Hope, making his debut, survives a big lbw shout (a bit high), and immediately plays a handsome clip for four, and then a cover push for two. So he seems to have a good temperament.
An email from Tom Morgan. “These new session intervals would be perfect here in Spain. Lunch at 4 and tea (aka merienda) at 6.30. Just need to popularise the game a bit here...”
The perfect outswinger. Classic Anderson in every way, except that the ball is the colour of a very nasty drink.
2nd over: West Indies 0-0 (Brathwaite 0, Powell 0) Stuart Broad’s turn for a pink-cherry debut, and he beats the bat with his first ball as Kieran Powell wafts outside off. “His legs are pumping here, Broad,” Nasser Hussain notes, “he’s fired up.” But then he goes too wide. Save that for when the Windies are 500-7.
“I’m about to fly from Orkney to Aberdeen,” says Andrew Wheeler. “I expect the vast majority of the Windies innings will be over by the time I land!”
1st over: West Indies 0-0 (Brathwaite 0, Powell 0) Jimmy Anderson bowls England’s first over with the pink ball, and like one or two of the West Indians, he gets it swinging too early. Kraigg Brathwaite lets the first four deliveries go by, then blocks one, and leaves the last.
So, place your bets on how many more wickets will fall tonight. England, from 449-3, lost five for 65. Alastair Cook is back out on the field, with, as ever, not a bead of sweat to show for his immense efforts. And it feels like a good declaration by Root, erring on the side of getting on with the game.
“Hello Tim, hello everybody.” Hello Simon McMahon. “Hope you’re all well. Sad news indeed about Brucie. As for Cook, didn’t he do well? And to the West Indian openers, you get nothing for a pair (not in this game).”
And so the collapse continued, which was a disappointment for Cook but (whisper it) a relief for the rest of us. Poor old TRJ is left high and dry on 6 not out.
Time to see if the bowlers can dig England out of this hole.
And England declare on 514-8.
For lbw, playing across the spinner. Looks outish.
135th over: England 512-7 (Cook 242, Roland-Jones 5) Cummins returns, armed with a 7/2 off-side field, and aiming for about seventh stump. The ump indulges him. Cook squirts a single to third man. And they say the smartphone has made boredom obsolete.
“Afternoon Tim!” says Stuie Neale. “Hope Cookie can get his triple. Or bat till tea & declare.” Hmmmm.
134th over: England 511-7 (Cook 241, Roland-Jones 5) TRJ plays out a maiden from Chase, whose figures (3-111) are now almost respectable.
133rd over: England 511-7 (Cook 241, Roland-Jones 5) Thanks Rob and evening everyone. A shift of Test cricket starting at 5.40pm, but at least we have the reassuring sight of an England collapse. Toby Roland-Jones, gobsmacked at finding himself batting with Alastair Cook, gets off the mark with an edge for four off Holder between keeper and first slip, which wouldn’t have carried anyway.
132nd over: England 506-7 (Cook 241, Roland-Jones 0) “I have sort of lost track with all this juggling with the lunch, tiffin etc,” says Andy MacInally. “When are we in terms of sessions?”
We’re about halfway through the second session, which means it’s time for me to hand over to Tim de Lisle. You can mail him at tim.delisle.casual@theguardian.com. Thanks for your company, bye.
Moeen goes for a selfless duck. He tried to launch Chase down the ground for six and sliced the ball high to Brathwaite at point.
131st over: England 505-6 (Cook 240, Moeen 0) “Hi Rob,” says Derek Fordham. “My mate, an avid Liverpool fan, went to watch them play a pre-season game some years ago and arrived in time to see them get off the team bus 90 mins before kick off. All of the squad entered the ground apart from Julian Dicks who set off in the other direction. My mate followed him to a chip shop where he watched him order pie and chips twice and, with these tucked under his arm, he returned to the ground. History doesn’t record whether they were both for him but I can’t imagine may people would send Julian Dicks out to run errands for them. He played in the game.”
Who are both of the pies, etc.
Bairstow goes, dragging Holder back onto the stumps. It was a quiet night in at the library for him too, 18 from 32 balls. England’s musketeers haven’t fired as we expected. At least not yet: here comes Moeen Ali.
130th over: England 503-5 (Cook 240, Bairstow 15) Cook glides Chase to the third-man boundary twice in three balls to take England past 500.
129th over: England 493-5 (Cook 231, Bairstow 15) Cook mistimes a pull shot that goes up in the air and falls tantalisingly short of the bowler Holder as he runs towards midwicket.
“In a more retro cricket/restaurant story,” begins Colin Dean, “my one and only brush with greatness came when I found myself eating on the table next to John Emburey at the Happy Eater on the A303. I’m not sure what he had, but am fairly certain it would have been served with baked beans.”
128th over: England 489-5 (Cook 228, Bairstow 14) Cook and Bairstow scamper five runs in Chase’s over. It’s all pretty low-key.
127th over: England 484-5 (Cook 227, Bairstow 10) “It pains me to say it, because I don’t want to give him any more publicity, but that Rees-Mogg fellow could be a good costume model for a pedant,” says John Starbuck.
126th over: England 482-5 (Cook 226, Bairstow 9) Bairstow demonstrates the speed of his brain, feet and hands by improvising to steer Chase past short third man for four. A premeditated lap brings a couple more.
125th over: England 476-5 (Cook 226, Bairstow 3) Holder beats Bairstow on the inside with a good delivery that bounces over middle stump. That’s it.
“I travelled from Joburg to Potchefstroom at the start of the last England tour to South Africa to watch a warm up match,” says John Bowker. “Not knowing where else to eat, we went to a local Nando’s after the day’s play and were shortly joined by Stokes, Jordan, Moeen, Hales, Buttler and Ballance. I only tell this poor excuse for a story because Jos ordered a full chicken all to himself. A full chicken!”
124th over: England 475-5 (Cook 226, Bairstow 2) Chase skids a nice delivery past Cook’s attempted cut. He has bowled pretty well, the best of the attack apart from Roach.
“I will be attending fancy-dress Saturday at Edgbaston and wondered what a regular OBOer should wear,” says Ian Copestake. “How does one dress as a pedant?”
123rd over: England 471-5 (Cook 223, Bairstow 1) “It’s that time of year again when I ask you if you’ll be kind enough to give the Hampshire Hogs Six-a-side a plug,” says George Browne. “We’re into our fourth year now and it gets better each time! Warnford is a gorgeous ground, and the beer really is excellent. Drinking is very much encouraged, though we had to put a stop to Pimm’s being delivered to players between overs as it was taking up too much time. All the details can be seen here.”
122nd over: England 469-5 (Cook 221, Bairstow 1) Turns out it was a quiet night in at the library for Stokes, yet even that failure (sic) does him some credit. He didn’t play himself in or think about his average, he just tried to score quick runs for the team. That’s one of the best things about England’s three allrounders; they are all so unselfish.
Stokes enlivens proceedings... by getting out. He top-edged a reverse sweep off Chase, and Blackwood took an excellent leaping catch at slip.
121st over: England 466-4 (Cook 219, Stokes 10) Cook back cuts Holder for a couple, aided and abetted by another misfield. It’s been a slow start to the session, though I suspect Stokes will address that at his earliest convenience.
“My husband has just suggested that the fielders can’t see the ball well (like the spectators can’t) in the outfield hence the misfielding?” says Christine Harrison.
120th over: England 462-4 (Cook 214, Stokes 10) Stokes plants the front dog, as I believe it is known, and drags a sweep for four off Chase.
“I need to fess up to the OBO’s mercy for historical opprobrium to Alastair Cook,” says Guy Hornsby. “I can only suggest he bore some brunt of the skillsets-era mess of Andy Flower’s overlording. So he’s not Flintoff or Stokes, but every team would beg to have a player like him. An indefatigable, ice-cool run machine who puts the team above himself. What WAS I thinking? Forgive me!”
119th over: England 455-4 (Cook 213, Stokes 5) Always start with a joke, said David Brent, and Holder does just that: his first delivery after lunch is a no-ball half-volley that Stokes rifles whence it came for four. I’m a bit distracted, because I’ve just read about the death of Bruce Forsyth. Ach, that’s really sad. Entertainment just got a bit heavier.
Here’s Brucie at his best during the 1974 FA Cup final.
118th over: England 450-4 (Cook 213, Stokes 1) Roston Chase, who dismissed Dawid Malan on the stroke of lunch, has four balls remaining. Ben Stokes drives the second of those for a single to get off the mark.
“Cook will never have a better chance to get a triple ton than today,” says James Austin. “But could he go bigger? If he gets to, say, 330 - 350 in the hour after tea would Root hold the declaration to give him a chance of going for 400? Is there any honour in doing that against this West Indies team?”
117.2 overs: England 449-4 (Cook 213) The wicket means that will be the last ball before lunch. Malan looks pretty down as he walks off; he knows what a great opportunity that was. It was a good delivery from Chase, although Malan’s defensive stroke was a little bit indecisive.
Cook goes to lunch on 213 not out, and will be joined by Ben Stokes after the break. See you then!
There will be no Test hundred for Dawid Malan, at least not yet. He pushes defensively at a good delivery from Chase that turns to take the edge, and Blackwood at slip takes a good catch.
117th over: England 449-3 (Cook 213, Malan 65) Cook slams a pull stroke for four off Holder. He’ll probably never get a better chance of scoring a Test triple-hundred than today.
“Dear Rob,” says Sara Torvalds. “I stopped reading about the atrocities in Spain yesterday and Turku, Finland, today - which may yet prove to be a madman rather than a terrorist, but is nonetheless depressing) and turned to the OBO, expecting to find sane and peaceful people who settle their differences by playing cricket, discussing cricket, perhaps e-mailing you or TMS on a point of contention - only to be further saddened that there are people who can’t hold their liquor at the cricket (103rd over). I doubt a tequila breakfast is to blame, it’s just a lack of manners.”
116th over: England 443-3 (Cook 207, Malan 65) Cook drives Chase pleasantly for a couple and then cracks a cut to the cover sweeper. We’re a few minutes away from lunch
“Currently in the wilds of Oregon aiming to watch the eclipse,” says Kevin Rodgers. “Day/night timings (although clearly weird in the UK) are perfect to catch OBO out here ‘cos we’re eight hours behind you. Fitting, given why I’m here (day/night, eclipse? Oh, please yourselves.)”
115th over: England 440-3 (Cook 204, Malan 65) The admirable Roach seams a cracking delivery past Cook’s outside edge, and responds by striking the FML pose for a few seconds.
114th over: England 439-3 (Cook 203, Malan 65) Chase bowls a maiden to Malan. What more can I say?
Here’s Ian Copestake. “Can I reassure those distraught at the fall of civilised society (again) that the worst crowd aggro I witnessed was at Headingley in 1997, when an Aussie fan and a Brit went at it in the middle of the road forcing hordes of fans to stand and stare and wait for the whole thing to blow over (into a nearby carpark).”
113th over: England 439-3 (Cook 203, Malan 65) Cook edges Roach to third man, where a ludicrous misfield turns one run into four - and takes Cook to 200! It’s his fourth in Tests. Brisbane 2010, Edgbaston 2011, Abu Dhabi 2015 and now Edgbaston 2017. Only Len Hutton (4) and Wally Hammond (7) have made as many in Tests for England. He’s a national treasure, in his own modest way, and there is a lot of love for him from the crowd as he raises his bat.
112th over: England 433-3 (Cook 198, Malan 64) Malan swipes Chase over mid-off for four. He didn’t quite get hold of it but it had enough on it to clear Cummins. He gets another boundary two balls later with a classy inside-out drive between extra cover and mid-off. That was lovely. These are heady moments in life of Dawid Malan. A few weeks ago he assumed he’d never play Test cricket; now he has a massive chance of a Test hundred.
111th over: England 422-3 (Cook 197, Malan 54) Kemar Roach returns, the poor chap, and zips a good delivery past the outside edge of Malan. He has bowled well in this innings and deserves better than a score of 422 for three.
“Dear Rob,” says Alasdair MacDonald. “On the subject of drunkenness at cricket matches, I and a number of London-based friends spent the 1980s getting very, very, drunk at cricket matches. Our nadir, as I can just about recall, was spending the MCC Bicentenary match (a couple of days off thirty years ago) urging Sunil Gavaskar to ‘hit out or get out’ during his masterly 188 in the Rest of the World’s first innings. Times? We’ve ‘ad ‘em (I think)…”
110th over: England 421-3 (Cook 196, Malan 54) The offspinner Roston Chase comes into the attack, or should I say the defence. Cook cuts a single to move to 196; Malan chases a wide one and is beaten.
“An update,” says our weatherman Paul Kavanagh. “The skies are darkening and there are spots of rain on the office windows.”
109th over: England 420-3 (Cook 195, Malan 54) “I’m wfh today and my nine-year-old son Noah wants to know when England should declare?” says Peter Lovell. “I’ve told him you’re my mate so you’ll definitely reply - Don’t let me down. Twilight surely?”
Yeah, either half an hour before or half an hour after tea. I’d set the middle-order musketeers a target of 700 by 7pm, mate.
108th over: England 417-3 (Cook 192, Malan 54) Malan pulls Cummins for two to reach his first Test fifty! Well played youngish man. Whatever happens, that’s in Wisden forever. You can’t become a former Test half-centurion. He’ll fancy his chances of becoming a Test centurion today, and he moves to 54 by pinging a low full toss past backward point for four.
107th over: England 408-3 (Cook 189, Malan 48) Joseph overpitches to Malan, who laces a beautiful extra-cover drive for four. He plays that shot with such elegance. That’s the 62nd boundary of the innings. After a good start to the day, West Indies are starting to put the ‘pathetic’ in apathetic once again. Their fielding in particular has been atrocious.
106th over: England 403-3 (Cook 188, Malan 44) Cook brings up the 400 with a beautiful straight drive for four off Cummins. The words ‘classical’ and ‘Alastair Cook’ don’t go together often, at least not since his choirboy days, but that was straight from the MCC coaching manual.
105th over: England 397-3 (Cook 183, Malan 44) Too straight again for Joseph, and Malan clips it for four. He is six away from a beautiful, beautiful thing: a first Test fifty. It’s too easy to forget just how much these individual achievements mean, particularly to players at the start of their career.
“Further to Susan Perry’s email (over 103) I was at a Surrey vs Kent T20 last year when two groups started laying into each other at the end of the game,” says Adam Williamson. “Sadly, the stewards clearly had no idea what to do and it was down to the rest of us to placate all concerned. A sad development in the normally genteel world of willow and leather.”
104th over: England 390-3 (Cook 182, Malan 39) Cummins is too full and too straight to Cook, who punishes him to the midwicket boundary. A single brings up a century partnership that he has dominated. Cook almost falls to the final ball of the over, checking a cut that loops just over the man at backward point.
“How good (or bad) is the West Indies batting?” says Robin Hazlehurst. “Because resilient and aggressive batting from them combined with iffy weather could keep this match and series live and interesting. But if they bat like they have bowled it could all be a bit cringe-inducing.”
103rd over: England 382-3 (Cook 175, Malan 38) Joseph has found his line after that poor start. He slips a good on past Malan’s outside edge, then brings one back to hit him amidships. Malan has played watchfully and has 38 from 96 balls. Cook has 175 from 313.
“Hi Rob,” says Susan Perry. “I was at Edgbaston yesterday and left early - not to get a train as I was lucky enough to be staying over (in the same hotel as Beefy it turns out). The reason I left was that despite stewards stepping in to stop various altercations, it felt like it was all about to kick off in the Eric Holies Stand and that it might turn into an enormous punch up. Not something I wanted to be anywhere near.”
102nd over: England 379-3 (Cook 175, Malan 37) A good delivery from the new bowler Cummins turns Cook round and takes a very thick edge that goes for a single.
“I also found some of the abuse Cook took quite extraordinary,” says Dave Brown. “One of the greatest batsmen and a wonderful chap. KP criticised him by saying that he tried to be friends with everyone! Is that really such a bad thing? Perhaps KP should have tried it.”
101st over: England 378-3 (Cook 174, Malan 37) Alzarri Joseph replaces Kemar Roach. He starts abysmally, with two leg-stump half-volleys that are put away for four by Cook. It wouldn’t be remotely surprising if Cook made 300 today.
100th over: England 369-3 (Cook 165, Malan 37) Holder strays onto the hip of Cook, who does the necessary to the fine-leg boundary. It’s been a slow start for England, with 21 runs from the first 10 overs, but that’s fine - by seeing off the new ball, these two are building a perfect platform for the three musketeers in the lower middle-order.
99th over: England 364-3 (Cook 160, Malan 37) Roach shrieks an LBW appeal when Cook flicks around the front pad. Not out. I suspect it was going down, with Roach bowling around the wicket. Replays confirm that was indeed the case.
98th over: England 363-3 (Cook 159, Malan 37) “Interesting looking at the list of highest runscorers,” says Jonny Wilkins. “Cook is the highest opener on the list (which I image contributes to his lower average). All those above batted No3 or below for most of their career? He also has fewer ducks than most. We will miss him dearly when he does go....”
Yes, he’s scored more Test runs than any other opener (though he had a summer at No3 himself). He’s a beautiful freak. What I like most about him are his dignity and decency. The way he dealt with a never-ending crisis in 2014, and some despicable abuse from posturing non-achievers, was beyond admirable.
97th over: England 361-3 (Cook 158, Malan 36) Cook has gone into his shell - or, rather, is yet to emerge from his shell today. He is declining to attack anything pitched up because of the new-ball movement; even in the seventh hour of his innings, he has the patience to play the long game. The reverse of that, as Beefy says on Sky, is that Roach hasn’t made him play nearly enough. There is nice shape but his line is too wide.
96th over: England 361-3 (Cook 158, Malan 36) Holder snaps a fantastic delivery past Malan’s defensive grope. West Indies have been much better this morning, with the newish ball doing enough to make life tricky for the batsmen.
“Hi Rob,” says Tom Atkins. “On the subject of drunken oafish behaviour at Tests, something I’ve wanted to get off my chest for a while now. In 2002 a group of us dressed up as Richie Benaud and went to the Lord’s Test against Sri Lanka. We got leathered on smuggled-in booze and thought we were hilarious. We weren’t, we were a bunch of noisy, obnoxious berks who probably ruined a day out for a lot of the people around us. If anyone reading this was there, I’m really sorry. I can’t see the day-night experiment going well in this country. On the plus side, we got to meet Going For Gold’s Henry Kelly outside the ground; he was as plastered as we were.”
95th over: England 359-3 (Cook 158, Malan 34) A wide half-volley from Roach is driven emphatically for four by Malan, down on one knee. That was a beautiful stroke. Cook then feels for a good awayswinger, aborting his stroke just before it whistles through to the keeper.
“Someone elsewhere has mentioned that the reason why there were fewer people in the ground last night is that train timetables haven’t been changed,” says Richard O’Hagan, “so for some people the only option was to leave at 8 or they wouldn’t have made it home.”
94th over: England 354-3 (Cook 158, Malan 29) Cook inside-edges Holder into the leg side for the first run of the day, and then gets a thick edge along the ground for the first boundary of the day.
“After yesterday’s OBO and the comments from colour-blind people, like me, I was keen to see the Channel 5 highlights (memo to your sports desk, the highlights are at midnight, not 7pm - someone forgot to tell the people who do the Big Paper layout),” begins John Starbuck. “There were times when I could infer where the ball was but not actually see it, especially when it went out to the deep, where a fielder picked it up and threw it back. All very like the tennis game towards the end of Blow Up. Maybe it heralds a new kind of Virtual Cricket?”
93rd over: England 348-3 (Cook 153, Malan 28) Roach continues to tempt Malan with full deliveries angled across him. Malan ignores those, but is hit on the arm when he tries to pull a surprise bouncer later in the over. He was through the shot too early. Another maiden, the third in a row. This is much better from the West Indies.
“PS: They’re not showing the cricket in Australia at the moment because the darts is running late,” says Phil Withall. “This isn’t helping.”
92nd over: England 348-3 (Cook 153, Malan 28) The captain Jason Holder will start at the other end. He was carrying a few injuries yesterday, and wasn’t as accurate as usual, but he starts here with a good maiden to Cook.
“That ‘Don’t Take Me Home’ song is sooooooo annoying,” says Simon. “Was annoying in the Euros last summer and is still annoying now. Not quite on a par with the Toure chant but it does feel like the crowd is more a footie/darts crowd than cricket.”
91st over: England 348-3 (Cook 153, Malan 28) Kemar Roach begins the day’s play, and slips a full-length tempter past Dawid Malan’s attempted drive. Roach is a good bowler; it’s odd that he hasn’t played a Test for 18 months.
“Evening Rob,” says Phil Withall. “I’m not a fan of the whole day/night test thing. It’s nearly 11 at night, I’ve been up since four this morning and will be lucky to see two overs before I fall asleep. I understand the reasoning behind the experiment and that it has probably increased ticket sales for what, more than likely, would have been a tough series to sell. However I will miss a lot of cricket and this is not good for my peace of mind. (Bugger you lot that pay and support it at the ground.)”
After a minute’s silence for the victims of the Barcelona terror attacks, the players get ready for action. It’s a lovely sunny afternoon in Birmingham.
“Afternoon Rob,” says Matt Potter. “How long do we realistically think Cook has left of his Test career? I’d just love him to knock Ponting off second spot but there’s a fair way left to go!”
This is the list of the highest runscorers in Tests. He’ll almost certainly go past Ricky Ponting, and I think he’ll overtake Sachin Tendulkar as well. He should be able to play for at least another five years, maybe longer; he’s very fit and looks so relaxed since giving up the captaincy. The only problem would be if his eyes go, as can suddenly happen to a batsman in his mid-30s. But I have a feeling he will follow his mentor Graham Gooch and score Test hundreds in his forties.
Possible future statgasm If England win this series 3-0, as most people expect, they will have won more than five Tests in one summer for only the second time in their history. The first was, of course, the summer of Rob Key: 2004, when England won seven out of seven against New Zealand and West Indies.
Weather watch “Morning Rob,” says Paul Kavanagh. “It feels like the morning. Still not over the jet lag of starting at 2pm. Gorgeous weather after thunder and lightning an hour ago. Looks like we might get some play.”
If the weather holds, England’s plan is simple: bat until just after tea, then give Jimmy Anderson a new pink ball under lights.
The first email of the day
“Am I the only one whose enjoyment of day-night Test cricket was ruined by the incesssant, moronic chanting coming from the stands during the last hour or so yesterday?” says Richard O’Hagan. “There used to be a convention that you at least shut up when the ball was about to be delivered (see footage of Botham’s 5-1 in ‘81, for example), but not any more apparently. It does render the argument over whether Edgbaston should name an end after Ian Bell otiose, though. There were quite enough of those there last night as it was.”
“Remember when is the lowest form of conversation” - Tony Soprano.
So here’s a piece about when the West Indies were the scariest and most brilliant team in the world. If you’re not into the whole words thing, please click it anyway: the pictures are glorious.
Hello there. At the start of play yesterday, everyone was talking about day/night Test cricket. By the close of play, the conversation had switched to the fact that, when it comes to Test cricket, England and West Indies are like night and day. This wasn’t the mismatch we expected; it was worse.
West Indies’ quick bowling is supposed to be their strength, yet Alastair Cook and Joe Root scored probably the easiest centuries of their international careers. Kemar Roach bowled bloody well at times. The rest, not so much. There were 53 boundaries in the day, which is more than England have scored in many full Test matches against West Indies. And not just in 20th century.
England took 19 wickets on the third day to thrash the West Indies, and Stuart Broad surpassed Sir Ian Botham to move into second place in England’s leading Test wicket-takers list
Right, it’s time for me to go. That was about as emphatic as Test wins come. Eight sessions, and an innings and a heap of runs and 19 wickets in the day. England were good, West Indies were abject.
Here’s our first hit report. Vic’s one will be in there soon, as well as analysis from Andy Bull and Ali Martin, too. It’s been a remarkable game. The second Test is in six days at Headingley. Let’s all, whoever you support, hope it lasts a little longer, and is a little more competitive.
Now time to hear from Stuart Broad. He’s very proud to overtake Ian Botham, the man who gave him his Test capo back in 2007, as England’s second highest wicket-taker. “They add up pretty quickly, don’t they?” he says. Beef’s stood next to him and he’s a bit emotional!
“It’s nice to have a pink ball in the collection,” says Broad.
The man of the match is Alastair Cook. He wins two and a half grand for his fourth double-ton in Tests, and first since giving up the captaincy. Wahoo! Well done him.
Rooteh’s turn. No, he’s not being booed. “I’m pleased with it! We won in three days and I got some runs,” he says of day-night Test cricket.
“Very remarkable day, very pleasing. We talk about being ruthless and we held a really good length.” He then waxes lyrical about Stuart Broad, and Alastair Cook.
Jason Holder is talking about all this. He looks very sad. “We’ve gotta believe. We have a few days off. We need to use them widely and formulate some plans. We will regroup and come back strongly.”
They do, of course, have two extra days off. Very clever tactics - more time for planning.
Brian Withington is owning up to being the Brian Withington.
I have already fessed up to fraternal Essex scourgery of sorts via the Twitter. In my defence the 36 no included a late 6 after opening partner John was dismissed for 216 in the penultimate over. I still swear that the scorer was guilty of confusing us throughout.
Well, I’ll stick around to deliver news of the awards and all that jazz. Not a great deal to say. West Indies were very bad, and they let England be very good. England have won three Tests on the spin for the first time in a while, and they’ll like have won five on the bounce by early to mid September. Absolutely impossible to see this being anything other than a 3-0 whitewash.
Ooh. Nice stat.
Last time England's leading wicket-takers played in same Test was also vs West Indies: Trueman (284) & Statham (245), 22-26 Aug 1963 #ENGvWI
Have to say, that’s a very classy low catch from Stokes at the end. West Indies lost 19 in the day. Here’s the breakdown of them:
That’s England’s third biggest victory margin over the West Indies, and it’s all done in nine sessions. Eight, really, cos of the bad weather on the second day.
Roland-Jones continues, and there’s a sliced drive from Joseph just shy of fourth slip. Then there’s a big swish and a miss outside off. But now he’s out! Joseph has been caught low at third slip by Stokes! They win by an innings and 209 runs!
45th over: West Indies 137-9 (Joseph 8, Cummins 0) Jimmy gets four slips and a gully to bowl to the leftie Cummins. Well defended first ball, and that’s a wicket maiden.
Jimmy gets us going after drinks. Mason Crane is on the field for some reason or another. And Jimmy has ended the resistance! Roach bowled through the gate! One more.
Brian Withington has me dreaming of my mooted trip to the oub this evening. Kemar and Alzarri have been holding me up. Still no answer to whether Brian is the Brian Withington from Essex.
Sorry to disappoint Kimberley’s epicurean instincts but I’ve now moved onto a chewy Malbec to encourage delivery of a second helping of the red beef curry. Lighting is somewhat subdued here and not conducive to any movement on my part (late or otherwise). Salut!
44th over: West Indies 137-8 (Roach 12, Joseph 8) Roland-Jones continues. These two are resisting well, the stand being into its seventh over. It’s a maiden. And they are taking drinks. Get on with it!
Robert Blanchard reveals the best job in the world.
My ex-girlfriend, who teaches law at the University of the West Indies in Barbados (yes, a tough job but someone’s got to do it), told me that these days young athletes prefer to pursue a career in soccer or basketball rather than cricket, because the financial rewards are so much greater.
43rd over: West Indies 137-8 (Roach 12, Joseph 8) Jimmy’s return does not immediately bear fruit. Some stoic defence and a single for Joseph, who has never reached double figures in Tests. He made six earlier, and has eight now.
42nd over: West Indies 136-8 (Roach 12, Joseph 7) Toby Roland-Jones is on for Broad. Still no Jimmy in this final session, interestingly. Roach has a waft outside off, and everyone behind the stumps goes up, but the bowler isn’t interested. Root sends it upstairs, cos why not? It’s not out. Roach is looking suspiciously competent and he backfoot drives through backward point and gets four for it. That said, he plays and misses again to the last ball of the over. Jimmy will enter the attack from the other end.
Nice to see some Donald Trumps mingling happily with a bunch of Mexicans in the Hollies Stand. Lovely how cricket brings people together.
41st over: West Indies 132-8 (Roach 8, Joseph 7) Moeen tosses it up again and Joseph drives him away for four through covers. I’ve only been on the OBO since lunch and I’ve already covered him getting out once today. They take a single each.
Kimberley Thonger is talking about Brian Withington too.
As the floodlights are on surely Brian Withington should be putting himself outside a decent rosé, possibly with a pink gin chaser to encourage late reverse swing?
40th over: West Indies 126-8 (Roach 7, Joseph 2) Jonny Bairstow can only laugh as a short seed from Broad misses the ducking Roach, then hoops miles away from his dive and trots away for four byes. No other runs from the over.
Doom and gloom from Sankaran Krishna. West Indies have lost 17 wickets today.
As an old-timer who grew up on watching the Windies routinely decimate the English at home from about the late 1970s through the mid 1990s, this is unbearably sad to watch. How can a team decline so completely to such a level? Sorry to strike a mordant note as England cut through this batting line up like a knife through a cake, but even they have to feel this is getting embarrassing.
39th over: West Indies 122-8 (Roach 7, Joseph 2) Moeen has become a damned good bowler at the tail in this country, and he’s really giving it some air here. The over costs seven: a lovely late cut of a turner from Roach, a bye from another turner, and two for Joseph behind square on the offside.
Brian Withington, are you still reading?
Curious, is it Brian Withington brother of John and latter-day fraternal scourges of the Essex League?
38th over: West Indies 115-8 (Roach 3, Joseph 0) This is the first time since 1984 that Sir Ian Botham has not been in the top two wicket-takers for England. Amazing. Jimmy has 491. Broad may get a couple more tonight. He beat Joseph outside off, and then he defends well. The last is down legside and harmless. Still, it’s a special over in the life of Stuart Broad.
Hard to disagree. Chief exec pitches required to take them into fifth or even fourth days. Could do with Windies winning a toss.
This is pretty painful @willis_macp. You wonder how the rest of the series will go after this. I could only stomach this in the Ashes!
Stuart Broad has overtaken Sir Ian Botham! He has 384 Test wickets, and is second only to Jimmy Anderson in English history. He gets there, with the ground looking stunning under lights, but nipping one back at Shane Dowrich, taking an inside edge and clattering into the stumps. England are two wickets from victory.
37th over: West Indies 115-7 (Dowrich 5, Roach 3) Moeen gets another. Stoneman is under siege at silly-point as Dowrich cuts two, then takes one behind square. The next one stays very low, beats the bat and beats Bairstow (who is keeping well in tough circumstances) and runs away for four byes. He takes the last ball of the over brilliantly down the legside as it absolutely rags.
John Starbuck is talking about my Ashes squad. I didn’t name a complete squad! Foakes or Buttler. Probably Foakes. But Bairstow is years ahead of anyone else right now. Love typing that - he’s worked so hard for it.
I don’t think I spotted a spare wicketkeeper in your selection, unless one of the batsmen is up to it - though you’d need to be pretty good to take over at Test level.
36th over: West Indies 108-7 (Dowrich 2, Roach 3) A thick outside edge gets Roach off strike with three through backward-point. Dowrich gets one through square-leg. Broad is not bowling fast, but he’s got that spring in his step, the high knee trot in the run-up. The last of the over is a beauty, and Roach does well to keep it out. There are 29 overs left today. Don’t think England’ll need ‘em all.
What an evening Brian Withington is having!
Moving into uncharted territory now - wickets tumbling in the corner, Eagles Greatest Hits streaming in background (Desperado), Thai take-away and a cheeky Sauvignon Blanc called Greywacke. I think this could catch on.
35th over: West Indies 104-7 (Dowrich 1, Roach 0) Moeen continues, and he’s bowling beautifully, with two slips, silly point and short leg. Dowrich drives into Cook’s ankle at silly point, then leaves a couple and defends a couple more. Maiden. Over to Stu...
34th over: West Indies 104-7 (Dowrich 1, Roach 0) Root’s field is magic for the hat-trick ball. Three slips, gully, short leg, silly point, silly mid-on, silly mid-off. But Roach is firmly in behind it. Broad has two Test hat-tricks, no one has ever taken three. He hasn’t got one this time, but don’t bet against it at some stage.
Holder gone first ball! Brilliant line, he nicks and Cook takes a fine catch diving low to his right at first slip! Seven down, Broad on a hat-trick, and level with Botham!
Broad charging in with a sleeveless sweater on. Chase has battled hard but this one has stayed low and Broad, as he tends to, isn’t bothering to see what the umpire thinks. The umpires thinks it’s out. It stayed down, hit the back pad, and right in front... Broad has 382 Test wickets. Ian Botham took 383.
Not a cat in hell’s chance of them dragging this out. Looking at cinema times for tomorrow, it’s a toss up between the Dark Tower and Valerian. Thoughts?
33rd over: West Indies 104-5 (Chase 24, Dowrich 1) It’s tossed up outside off by Moeen and tidily takes a single to get off the mark through cover. Chase hands the strike back with one to deep mid-on. Dowrich defends a couple, then tries to cut a wide one which stays low. He defends again.
32nd over: West Indies 102-5 (Chase 23, Dowrich 0) Chase has played nicely and, by record at least, is the Windies’ best player. But batting is tough right now. Broad is playing around with some cutters and the like. Lbw, bowled and the nick off are all very much in play. He’s playing across his front pad a little bit, and it’s a maiden.
31st over: West Indies 102-5 (Chase 23) More Mo, but Jimmy cannot be far away. Hundred up as Chase takes a single to deep cover, then Moeen tosses a couple up to tempt Blackwood. Stoneman wears one on the boot at silly point, then they get one to mid-off. Chase gets another single to leg, which rather excites the close fielders. That brings Blackwood on strike, and the fielders chat to the batsman a bit more. That tempts him down, he misses, and Bairstow does the rest. Moeen just chucked it wide of off stump and fooled him. Out by a mile.
30th over: West Indies 99-4 (Chase 21, Blackwood 11) More Broad. England only have two slips and a gully, and I’m moaning about it. More! Blackwood lashes through backward point for four. The last ball of the over is full, and he’s launched it over extra extra cover for four! Shot.
29th over: West Indies 91-4 (Chase 21, Blackwood 3) Moeen continues. I suppose he has just taken a wicket! Blackwood takes another rather frantic single, before one stage slightly low on Chase, but he gets bat on it and keeps it out. Well played. Well played again, as he wallops a sweep into the gap at deep-square. Four. The last is defended.
Brian Withington is praising our man on the ground. Quite right.
Crying out for a Jack Russell composition of the Eric Hollies stand with our faithful correspondent freezing gamely in the corner. Medals have been struck for less - arise Sir Ian Copestake, I say!
28th over: West Indies 86-4 (Chase 17, Blackwood 2) As expected, Broad to bowl. He’s two behind Sir Ian Botham on 381 wickets. Blackwood leaves it twice outside off, then takes a sharp single to mid-off. Later in the over, Chase edges low through the gap in the cordon and it runs away for four...
Tom v d Gucht writes:
We seem to have more young gun bowlers, like the Overtons, the Currens, Highway Coad, Helm, Porter and others too. But the batsman fridge seems less well stocked with fewer players spanking out mountains of runs in county cricket and subsequently demanding selection.
Over the last 15 years or so, the most successful batters forced the selectors’ hands with sheer weight of runs before cracking the big time of test cricket as they were ready for it: KP, Bell, Trott, Cook, Strauss, Bairstow, Root, Prior... Even some players who didn’t kick on won their shot at the big show through consistent excellence in county cricket, such as Ed Smith, Bopara and Key.
27th over: West Indies 81-4 (Chase 13, Blackwood 1) Moeen to finish off that uncompleted over from before the break. Cook is under the lid at silly-point now. Looks like there’s a bit of chatter out there. Blackwood off the mark second ball with a gentle over-drive. Second slip, not short leg, in for Chase. He defends twice, then slices through backward-point for four. Generous applause from Ben Stokes at slip. Mark Stoneman, the silly point, didn’t seem to enjoy it as much.
Right, the players are coming out for the final session of the match, err, I mean day. West Indies are 76 for four, and 270 behind. There are 38.4 overs remaining and we can play til 10, as well as an extra half-hour if a result is close at that stage.
More from Ian Copestake at Edgbaston:
At the urinal/trough earlier I was standing next to a man wearing a wedding dress. This seemed entirely normal.
The Windies aren’t, at least, going to lose by an innings to Alastair Cook and his 243. At 76 for four, they are one ahead of Cook, having made 168 in their first innings.
Chris Woakes out having a bowl during the Tea break - looks like Trevor Bayliss has borrowed one of the umpires' jackets to watch #ENGvWIpic.twitter.com/nKUy1MgOg5
Right, who thinks England are going to do this today? Blackwood on his way out after tea. He was in a league of his own in the first innings, but you wouldn’t think he’ll muck about. Jimmy and Broad to return under lights, surely.
And with that wicket, England’s sixth of the session, they will take tea! That’s what you do at 7.10pm, of course. When we resume Moeen will have four balls left in his over.
Ian Copestake, our correspondent at Edgbaston, reports:
The scene in the Eric Hollies Stand is like something out of Bruegel, if Bruegel’s apocalyptic paintings included fancy dress.
Now, now, now. Brathwaite has gone a long way across to Moeen and he’s been struck on the pad. Has he hit it? Umpire says no. They are going upstairs! Looks a good review to me. He hasn’t hit it, and there’s three reds! He’s outta here!
26th over: West Indies 76-3 (Brathwaite 40, Chase 9) Stokes into his ninth, then. Chase is not comfortable against him. But there’s a well-timed nudge through cover that brings him two. The last gets big on him and raps his thumb. That looks no fun.
Chris Evans writes about Steven Finn.
I think we all love Finn and want it to work. However, none of us (including him) know what is best for him but I doubt traipsing round Australia as a clear 7th choice is ideal. I think they don’t need the extra quick in the squad anyway, but if so the 7th could be Plunkett (in the role Batty played in India) or take a punt on a kid like Joverton.
25th over: West Indies 74-3 (Brathwaite 40, Chase 7) Moeen’s first ball to Chase takes a thick and clumsy outside edge and runs away for four. Just past Stokes at slip. Then he takes a single in a similar area, and Stokes cleans up. Brathwaite then skips down and plays a classy cover drive for two, cut off by Rojo running round, and a single to deep mid-on takes him into the forties. Chase takes a single too, then Brathwaite defends.
24th over: West Indies 65-3 (Brathwaite 37, Chase 1) Stokes is into his eighth over. Has conceded just six so far, and picked up Shope. He’s tight again, but Chase finally gets off the mark – and his pair – by turning him past short-leg for one! It goes through Stoneman’s hands – reckon he’s done by a lack of pace there. Just died on him. Stokes holds his glowing head in his hands, but he needn’t be too sad, that’s the only run from the over. 10 minutes until tea.
23rd over: West Indies 64-3 (Brathwaite 37, Chase 0) Moeen slides through a maiden against Brathwaite, who doesn’t play a big shot this time.
Ian Stalvies, who identifies as a Berlin-based Australian (which, having spent a year living in the city, I know that there are a few of), writes usefully:
Re: hat tricks across innings, there have actually been two, in the same series back in the dark days (well, for us!) of the late 1980s: Courtney Walsh, then the magnificently moustachioed Merv Hughes - whose wickets were also across three separate overs. Details of more interesting hat-tricks here.
22nd over: West Indies 64-3 (Brathwaite 37, Chase 0) Good from Stokes, who keeps Chase honest. He can’t get off strike, or off his pair. He’s faced 11 balls now, the last of which brings a mild lbw shout.
Paul Kavanagh has a question.
I’m getting the feeling we won’t manage this today. Great news. Any idea what the ticket policy will be tomorrow? It would be great to nip down for a few overs on the cheap.
21st over: West Indies 64-3 (Brathwaite 37, Chase 0) More Mo, and Brathwaite begins by clothing two drives off him. Then there’s a defensive stroke. Eek, he’s gone down the ground and it just evades the deep-ish mid-on and goes for four! Again, Mo won’t mind one bit.
20th over: West Indies 60-3 (Brathwaite 33, Chase 0) Roston Chase in on a pair. He’s still on a pair at the end of the over. Wicket maiden.
Geoff Wignall has a question in my inbox.
I was just wondering which bowlers you’d favour for the Ashes? Those in this match plus Woakes I presume but which others - and for what reasons?
I was just thinking to myself how England would love a couple more before tea, which is in 30 minutes. There’s one. Shope fences at Stokes and gets a thick edge, which is well snaffled at a comfy height by Rooteh at second gripper!
19th over: West Indies 60-2 (Brathwaite 33, S Hope 4) Runs are hard to come by, I said in the last over. Brathwaite’s noticed, and goes after Moeen. He slogs four to cow for four, then drives through cover for a far more elegant four. Moeen won’t mind that, you wouldn’t think. Each batsman takes a single behind square on the offside later in the over. Stoneman is in at short leg, by the way.
18th over: West Indies 50-2 (Brathwaite 24, S Hope 3) Runs have been very tough to come by of late, and Stokes has Shope under pressure. It’s another maiden.
Roger Martin has his thinking cap on. And he’s got quite an interesting idea.
On the follow on, if the fielding side doesn’t want to enforce the follow on, how about giving the batting side the option of batting again? It’s not relevant in this match as the windies are so far behind but in the last test, if the saffers had the option, they may well have chosen to bat again, given the way the pitch would deteriorate by the fifth day. It would certainly add element into the fielding captain’s calculations.
17th over: West Indies 50-2 (Brathwaite 24, S Hope 3) Moeen time! He bowled beautifully earlier at the ground that was once his home. Suspect it’ll be his home again some time soon, too. There’s one single from the over, to Hope early on.
Chris Drew writes: “Has Jofra Archer declared whether he’d play for the West Indies or England yet?” Wants to play for England, but there’s a long time (maybe four years) before he qualifies... Would get in this Windies side.
16th over: West Indies 49-2 (Brathwaite 24, S Hope 2) Stokes is just getting a tiny bit of movement away from the batsman, and Brathwaite is struggling. The fourth ball beats the bat and hammers into Bairstow’s finger. He looks sore. But it’s another maiden, the third on the spin, which will please England.
Ian Copestake writes: “Update from Edgbaston. Am frozen.” Hang on in there, buddy. There are a lot of fans on screen huddling under rugs and the like. A few have brought their beer jackets, I reckon.
15th over: West Indies 49-2 (Brathwaite 24, S Hope 2) Roland-Jones continues, and he’s bowling very full, looking for the edge. Hope is watchful, and it’s a maiden. Lights are starting to take effect, and I say that because Ben Stokes’ head has a glow about it.
Adam Roberts has picked up on my Australian selection pointers earlier.
You ‘would take Hameed and Hales to Australia’. 2 qs: 1) Has Hameed found any sort of form yet? 2) Would you take Hameed and Hales to Australia as a No. 5 (with possibility of moving up in extremis)?
14th over: West Indies 49-2 (Brathwaite 24, S Hope 2) The first ball of Stokes’ new over gets Shai Hope off the mark and the deficit below 300. Was a flick to leg for one what done it. Brathwaite gets one with the same shot next ball. Hope takes another single later in the over, as some people in fancy dress do a conga.
Something to make you snort out your daiquiri at the drinks break, from Peter Salmon:
Just tuned in for the first time to see that the West Indies have only lost the one wicket today, albeit without troubling the scorers much. Still, good to see some resilience after all the dire warnings about their batting.
13th over: West Indies 46-2 (Brathwaite 23, S Hope 0) Brathwaite gets a touch lucky to Rojo here. It’s full and straight and there’s a thick inside edge that runs away for four down to fine-leg. Between his back leg and the stumps, which is never pretty. The rest are dots, but they are not all comfortable.
With tea about 55 minutes away, they are taking a drinks break...
Further to your correspondent’s question (Stephen Brown - 8th over) I know that once (at least) Sir Geoffrey Rhubarb batted on every day of a 5 day test. Not sure though whether this is a valid answer to SB’s question. Still here in Switzerland it is time for dinner. Just ripped the cork out of a bottle of Chardonnay so will gently lay out the stuff needed in the kitchen, after turning up the volume on my laptop to maintain contact with TMS, and will get on with the victuals.
12th over: West Indies 42-2 (Brathwaite 19, S Hope 0) More Stokes. Brathwaite takes a single, and Shai Hope is looking fairly uncomfy time of it. There’s an edge that doesn’t carry to Jimmy, who is in at third slip instead of Moeen. David Gower rather kindly describes Keaton Jennings as “resting from Test cricket”. Could be a long rest...
Confirmation, by the way, that we can play until 10.30pm tonight. Wowzer. And here’s a thought...
could be first time Last Orders have been called in a Test match ground in England. They should ring the bell.
11th over: West Indies 41-2 (Brathwaite 18, S Hope 0) One Hope replaces another. Misleading, I’ll say. There are no runs from the rest of the over, which contains a couple of very curious leaves outside off-stump. If you’re leaving it, keep your bat out of the way, man! Wicket maiden.
John Starbuck is replying to Stephen Brown’s eighth over question about players being on the field for the entirety of a completed match.
Geoffrey Boycott did it at least once; he carried his bat in the first innings, fielded for all of the second, and then, I think, did it again. Sometime in the 1970s perhaps. I was much remarked at the time, but they didn’t have the stats for everything available then as they do now; I haven’t checked anyway.
I’m happy to be corrected (sometimes) but I’m pretty sure for boycotts 100th 100 match at headingley he was on the pitch the whole match.
Rojo was not gone for long! He’s swapped ends. And first ball he smacks Hope on the pad and the finger goes up! It’s reviewed, but there’s no bat and he’s gone. Clipping leg stump. Hope the second man to be out twice today.
10th over: West Indies 41-1 (Brathwaite 18, K Hope 12) Roland-Jones has been hooked from the attack after one over! Stokes on with the crowd in full voice. Brathwaite takes two from his first ball through midwicket, but the rest are defended or left.
Here’s what Stuie reckons. By my calculations we can play until 10.30pm tonight. Due to rain, scheduled close is 9.30. Time to make up overs runs til 10. If a result in sight, 10.30... More as I get it.
@willis_macp this will be wrapped up tonight or early tomorrow afternoon me thinks
9th over: West Indies 39-1 (Brathwaite 16, Hope 12) Jimmy to Kraiggy with three slips and a gully. The third of those slips is Moeen, which is taking some getting used to. Like Trotty used to be, Moeen always seems to be banished to the furthest corners of the field. Kraiggy gets off strike with a legside single, and Hope is given nothing to hit. One from the over.
Darren Gough is on a balcony wearing a slightly ropey waistcoat (has he come as a waiter?) but Ashley Giles is wearing a tie and looks rather smarter.
8th over: West Indies 38-1 (Brathwaite 15, Hope 12) Roland-Jones replaces Broad. And he starts full and on the pads and is flicked through square-leg by Hope for two. The second is shorter, and brilliantly played. Hope rocks back and pulls it in front of square for four! Shot, boi! Rojo goes fuller outside off and is cover-driven for four more later in the over, before a brilliant bit of fielding at square-leg prevents runs off the last. 10 of them from the over.
Stephen Brown is in my inbox again.
So now that we’ve followed on, it seems inevitable that AN Cook will have been on the field of play for the entire match.
7th over: West Indies 28-1 (Brathwaite 15, K Hope 2) Jimmy is working Brathwaite over, but when he errs in line, he has turned away for four to fine-leg. Well played. The over ends with a tidy bit of defending from Brathwaite.
6th over: West Indies 24-1 (Brathwaite 11, K Hope 2) Shot. That’ll help. Mid-off is wide to the point of not actually being mid-off. Broad pitches it up and Brathwaite just leans into a straight drive and it runs away for four. Broad’s Dad and sis are watching, and there are more runs here, two of them off a thick inside edge through square leg. Wow, the Windies balcony looks a miserable place. The next ball is short and Brathwaite makes a total hash of it, getting in a tangle and a thick leading edge which loops up into the offside, but lands safe! He’s living dangerously, and guides powerfully past Stoneman who is under the lid at a backward short-leg-leg-gully spot. They run one. Seven from the over.
5th over: West Indies 17-1 (Brathwaite 4, K Hope 2) Kyle Hope is away. He turns his second ball to leg and they run one and get a second with a slightly untidy misfield at midwicket. He leaves the next two.
Feels worth saying: 60 over left in the day, and 90 minutes until tea...
Jimmy’s over begins with an lbw appeal from behind the stumps against Brathwaite, but it’s nowhere near. They run one leg bye to fine leg.
This is out though! Powell is squared up a touch, it’s angled across him and nips away, and he’s well caught at first slip by Cook. Sharp take and that’s the end of a fairly grim innings from Powell.
4th over: West Indies 14-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 10) A situation is unfolding at Edgbaston. This being a Saturday, there are lots of people in fancy dress. One such group, possibly the Mexicans or maybe the Jesuses, has had its beach ball pinched. They are huddled by a steward trying to get it back. And they have been joined by all the different fancy dressers: the bananas, the Trumps, the brides, the Richies and the rest in lobbying the stewards. And, after some teasing from said stewards, they’ve got it back! Alastair Cook applauds.
Anyway, Broad continues. Powell is loose. He drives over cover for two, but it’s pretty grim. Broad has a word as they run, but next ball he flashes even harder, gets a thick outside edge and it runs away for four over gully! More words. Broad thinks Powell is a bit pony I reckon. Anyway, he defends the last.
3rd over: West Indies 8-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 4) Brathwaite is off his pair, but it ain’t pretty. He tries to send Anderson through midwicket but gets a thick leading edge wide of backward point for four. The rest are more comfortably defended.
A distracted Ross Williams emails.
Enjoying the coverage as I
fail to do any work on and just watch cricket desperately attempt to finish a thesis. I wondered given the west indies top 5 combined for about half the runs that Blackwood scored, and he is set. Why not just let him carry on batting? He can’t do any worse than get 0.
2nd over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 0, Powell 4) Runs! Elegantly and uppishly driven through cover for four by Powell off Broad. The rest are dots.
A Scotsman with a fine Scotsman’s name, Allan McDonald, writes:
Hello! Longtime reader and first time emailer, loving the OBO for its informative whimsy. Greetings from a wet and driech Fort William.
I was idly musing when Broad got Joseph out. If he had followed that with a wicket on the next ball, and England had enforced the follow-on, would he still have been on a hat trick if he had taken the first over of the next innings? What if they hadn’t enforced, would he have been on a hat trick once he went to bowl again?
1st over: West Indies 0-0 (Brathwaite 0, Powell 0) Jimmy, as in the first innings, begins with a maiden. Brathwaite is still on a pair, and does not look especially comfortable or like he wants to be in Birmingham. West Indies are still 346 behind.
Fair to say England have a spring in their step as they head out for the second innings. Kraigg Brathwaite, who is on a pair, does not. Jimmy to bowl at him. Sounds grim.
Nicholas Stuart writes with the subject line “cats named after cricketers”. He attaches a picture of his cat, Katich.
Our cat, Katich, is named after the Australian batsman. Judging by his size, we should have called him Beefy.
Here’s the last wicket. Classy stuff from Westley. England are on their way out again.
Interesting to note that Cook’s 243 gives him a first innings lead of 75 and an outside chance of an innings victory all on his own if it starts swinging around under the lights tonight...
Well, well, well. Efficient from England since tea. Nice innings from Blackwood that ends with him trying to pinch the strike. No room for sentiment or batting practice: on England plough. Two direct hit run outs in the innings, which is a rarity for England.
How long will it take them to bowl West Indies out again? There are still almost two hours until tea, and 65 overs in the day! The lights have just come on.
On a recent trip to England (home now), my son Will and I were buying pork pies in Newark, when behind us a boy shouted to his mother. “Look Mum - they’ve got the posh orange”. The sugar content in flavoured San Pellegrino is massive.
Specs of rain on the camera as Jimmy begins his new over. Men on the fence for Blackwood, and he turns down a single to deep point first ball. The third is cleverly steered wide of second slip and beats the man in the deep! Four. Then he gets two to deep-midwicket to move to 79 off 74. Fine innings, this. Field up for the fifth ball, and he’s very nearly bowled!
The last ball is nudged into the legside and they go for the single! It’s never, though! Westley swoops in from midwicket to run Cummins out for 0! Direct hit, and he’s gone by a mile. We know that, because the umpire doesn’t even send it upstairs. Great throw.
46th over: West Indies 162-9 (Blackwood 73, Cummins 0) Cummins ain’t goin just yet. He leaves Broad outside off. 381, not 380 for Broad.
Blackwood doesn’t bother to hit the first ball of Broad’s over for six. Instead, he pinches a single off the second and leaves four for Joseph to negotiate. The first two are fine, but the third raps him on the pad right in front and Broad celebrates. The finger goes up as he wheels away towards the slips. It was very out. I make that 381 Test wickets for Broad... Beefy two away. I hope the wicket that takes him past the big man comes with a celebrappeal.
45th over: West Indies 161-8 (Blackwood 72, Joseph 6) Joseph can’t have been delighted about the lack of single at the end of the last over. He’s got six balls of Jimmy to worry about. The first two are defended nicely, the second is ducked under, although it was a touch wild. There’s a play and a miss, another couple of defences, and the over has been survived. Well done that man.
Stephen Brown is talking about the follow-on.
Any advantage in having another bat tonight in the name of learning more about this pink ball? Normally I’m a strong supporter of enforcing follow on in most circumstances but as this match was always supposed to be a bit of a learning curve before our match down under perhaps another shot for Stoneman and Westley to try it wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
44th over: West Indies 161-8 (Blackwood 72, Joseph 6) Shot! Stuart Broad won’t like that. Blackwood has legside, Broad has followed him and the batsman has fired the first ball of the over high and handsome into the stands at wide long-on! Sixer. Magnificent. A couple of short balls curb his heavy hitting, and there’s no run for the rest of the over.
43rd over: West Indies 155-8 (Blackwood 66, Joseph 6) Jimmy is keeping Blackwood a touch more honest, and starts with three dots. The first rears a touch. The single comes from a nudge to mid-on, and Joseph is charged with keeping two balls out. He does so with aplomb and elan, by slashing the last of the over for four through point.
Miranda Jollie’s been in touch, and she’s trumping me.
You may love Kumar Sangakkara, but have you named a pet after him? This is our cat Kumar, watching the cricket
42nd over: West Indies 150-8 (Blackwood 65, Joseph 2) Blackwood is not going to muck about, and neither should he. Broad’s first is outside off, and he drills it through cover for four off the back foot. Next, he takes a single to mid-off. That’s 150. Celebrate the small victories! Joseph misses his first outside off. And second. He middles his third, but mid-on is there to field, and does. With a man in catching at sort of short cover point, he gets in behind the last ball of the over and defends.
As cricketers come out to play, John Starbuck continues the puffin chat:
Puffins are remarkable and well worth study; a kind of auk, this is a bird which can swim, dive, fly and burrow, all the while looking like something from a mad clown’s dream. They inspired reading for young people and many other inventions too.
Pete Wood’s describing a rather lovely sounding holiday east of here.
Currently holidaying in Poland and the itinerary tomorrow strikes a chime with the plight facing this West Indies team. Going to Hel and back, by bike, along a long, thin spit of sand, the only thing between us and the cold waters of the Baltic Sea.
About six minutes until play gets underway again. So an email from Dave Brown!
Does your love for the great Sri Lankan mean you would have him in your best world XI ahead of Adam Gilchrist as wicketkeeper?
Chris Drew, Mesnilman BTL on the county blog, writes with sad news. Don Shepherd, the Glamorgan legend, has died, having turned 90 this week. Remarkable cricketer with remarkable stats:
From Asturias, Dave Langlois writes:
The lunch sign-off photo of the batsman driving with the stumps being splayed by the ball is fantastic. Must be like trying to photograph the puffin with its beak full of sprats. Looks so easy as a finished product but so hard in the execution.
On the other hand... I’m sure Neil Snowball at Edgbaston feels this way too. Here’s a good interview with him, by the way.
They certainly could Stuie! Follow on is out of fashion, and I’m not much of an advocate of it, but if they wrap these last two up promptly surely it’s a no-brainer?
@willis_macp afternoon will very easy for england here
Could get this won tonight
Andrew Benton has been in touch, and he’s raising a very sensible point.
Always dangerous to be too gleeful about the state of England’s opponents, lest it portends bad omens for the next test series. We lost five nil last time down there, didn’t we (and I bet the Aussies are hoping to go one better this time...)
Oh, lordy. That wonderful Kumar Sangakkara interview by Athers is happening on Sky right now. Those brave and unwise souls who follow county cricket – live! on this website will know how I feel about Sanga. I may not actually be in a position to liveblog this session of cricket for you. Already a touch hot under the collar.
I recently saw Kumar on the Victoria line. Surrey put him up in this wonderful flat on the river and he, like me, was getting off at Vauxhall. It was in that absolutely sweltering week earlier this summer and remains the only time I’ve seen him sweat. And I’ve seen him make 15 or so tons live. Remarkable human.
Hello! Your man Will Macpherson here for the rest of the day and, the way things are going, the rest of the Test match, too. That was all pretty sorry from the Windies, wasn’t it? There are ways you can tell me how sad you are about all of this. I’m tweetable at @willis_macp. And emailable at will.macpherson.freelance@theguardian.com.
ps – on a recent OBO I discussed my love for San Pellegrino naughty drinks. Well, what I thought was a brief dalliance with them has become a full on addiction, and I’ve turned up to the office today with a blood orange one – or, were I feeling cultured, Aranciata Rossa. My favourite. Coffee first, but I’ll let you know how it goes down.
41st over: West Indies 145-8 (Blackwood 60, Joseph 2). Moeen has the last over before the long break. I can’t call it lunch, it’s so ridiculous. Mind you, I’m yet to have a sandwich. But I’m wild like that. As is Blackwood, who dances Moeen! Oh, look, fair enough I guess. He’s hit him right back over his head. The best bit about that was Root having to climb over the fence and into the covers to collect the ball. Careful with those spikes, skip! Joseph has a few to see off when he gets given the strike. Men around the bat for the last ball, but he blocks it out.
40th over: West Indies 136-8 (Blackwood 53, Joseph 2). One to see off, new man Joseph grabs a couple off what looks to be an inside edge. TV tells me it needs to be nine down for the extra half an hour. I thought it was umpire’s discretion. But let’s go with Nasser on his, he did captain his country.
Broad is back and immediately, belatedly, into the book. Roach no chance to keep that out, it’s a beauty. Classic Broad, wide of the crease, hitting the same and coming back a mile. Ultimately through the gate and into his off-stump. Classy way to grab wicket 380. He won’t get Botham in this innings, but still could by the time England wrap this up later tonight or tomorrow afternoon. Extra half-hour probably coming here too, in order to let them finish it off. Three minutes to the interval, in theory.
WICKET! @StuartBroad8 knocks Roach’s off stump out of the ground!
39th over: West Indies 134-7 (Blackwood 51, Roach 5). Right, the next discussion is the follow-on. England won’t hesitate in enforcing it. Nothing at all to be gained batting again into the night when they’ve barely broken a sweat this afternoon. West Indies still require 181 to avoid it. Roach is off the mark, though, with a lavish drive first ball. Past point.
John Starbuck on West Indian woes, with historical context: “Some of us go further back, when (unchanged) Hall and Griffiths, along with the elegant Sobers, were terrorising the feeble England batting lineup. After Cowdrey did his best with a broken arm, there was a lot of fuss about the ancient people who were brought back in, like Brian Close, who disdained most protective gear. In a later tour, Clive Lloyd’s fast quartet led to the development of the batsman’s helmet. Brearley demonstrated one which was a basic full skullcap, worn under a cap. Thus, the West Indies have contributed to the development of the game in so many important ways, their current make-up leads us to search for the pluses.”
After playing and missing Moeen throughout his first set, it was only right that the off-spinner dismissed him in this fashion. Technology confirmed that there was a little nick, a good review from Bairstow and Stokes behind the stumps, convincing Root to go up for a look. So, six wickets in the session with ten minutes to go before lunch. And we’re into the bowlers.
HAS MOEEN WON HOLDER’S EDGE? We’re going upstairs to find out, as Stokes thinks so at slip.
38th over: West Indies 128-6 (Blackwood 50, Holder 11). Well batted Jermaine Blackwood, with a push to midwicket bringing up his half-century in 49 balls. Can’t fault his intent nor his strokeplay. Fun to watch. Now, double it.
37th over: West Indies 127-6 (Blackwood 49, Holder 11). Time for spin, via Moeen. Holder hasn’t a clue out there today, plays the misses not once, twice but thrice. The final of the three trying to put the offie onto the moon for reasons best explained by the West Indies leader. Hot take: he’s not a very good captain. I argued at the time he was ready to replace Ramdin. I was wrong. Not just because of how he is batting over the last half hour. Just the whole vibe of the thing. Doesn’t look the sort to turn this around. Not saying there is a better option.
36th over: West Indies 127-6 (Blackwood 49, Holder 11). They persist with the short ball to Blackwood, which is sound based on the way he plays another on-point Stokes bumper. Gets two for his swat, somehow. Far more comfortable when it is full, he strokes a couple past cover. Nice shot. One short of a half-century.
35th over: West Indies 122-6 (Blackwood 45, Holder 10). Jermaine Blackwood is having a party. TRJ overpitches with his final delivery so he decides to smash him straight back over his head. Didn’t make full contact, otherwise it’ll be in the car park. Quite a swing. Enough to reach the rope comfortably. His 45 from 41 balls. One way to get out of strife. Holder a boundary to begin, but so close to being curtains for him, an inside edge again the difference. He’s a much better player than this. But then again, I feel I say that a lot when it comes to this team. A bit Fox Mulder-ish: I want to believe.
“I was trying to get my old brain thinking who was the last world class batsman the Windies had apart from theredoubtable Chanderpaul?” asks Dave Brown. “There must have been someone after Lara surely?” There hasn’t. Chase was out for nothing today, but he’s the guy. In theory.
34th over: West Indies 113-6 (Blackwood 41, Holder 5). Blackwell lucky not to be the second West Indian to cop one in the head this session, awkwardly avoiding a Stokes bouncer that followed him. An inside edge earlier in the over was needed to prevent him being bowled. All action when he’s at the business end. Holder retains the strike with another tickle to long leg.
Simon McMahon is back. “Sorry to have given you some unintentional grief,” he says. It’s okay, man. I’ve a thick skin. “Saw The Who earlier this year in Glasgow and, like Anderson and Broad, Daltrey and Townsend have still got it. Pity we can’t say the same about the West Indies. They’re like a poor Who tribute Act - The Why?”
33rd over: West Indies 111-6 (Blackwood 40, Holder 4). Despite Blackwood’s efforts, West Indies still trail by 404, which may as well be a million. He takes one to square leg. TRJ’s best ball is the last one, a yorker, kept out by Holder.
“Does the current state of the Windies suggest a two-tier test system would be in order, similar to the county system?” asks Andrew Benton. “Would enable other aspiring test sides to compete at the highest level, and keep those who were falling behind on their toes.”
@collinsadam seems the West Indies aren't too keen on day/night cricket. Like vampires in reverse, getting out before the sun sets.
32nd over: West Indies 110-6 (Blackwood 39, Holder 4). The board no handbrake on Blackwood, flicking Stokes away early in the over for his sixth boundary. When Holder gets his chance, he is immediately beaten, playing at a ball he surely has to be leaving alone. Another four behind point gets him off the mark, almost identical to how Dowrich did the same in the previous over before getting out. Ominous? Well, his edge was beaten next ball. That’s twice already. Not the most convincing start by the skipper. Nine from it, not that runs matter an awful lot right now.
Toby’s two, or your enjoyment.
WICKET! Shai Hope gone for 15 as @tobyrj21 gets in on the act!
Oh yes, that’s very out. Dowrich was off the mark in relatively flashy fashion with a drive behind point off the edge, but didn’t survive one coming back sharply off the seam, TRJ hitting the pad and Umpire Erasmus having no hesitation. That he was playing across the line only made it look worse. So, five in the session. 45 minutes to lunch. Will they be all out by then?
30th over: West Indies 96-5 (Blackwood 33, Dowrich 0). Oh that’s unpleasant! Blackwood turns his head on a Stokes bouncer, into the helmet it goes. No one likes that, the bowler immediately checking on the batsman. The doctor comes out for a look but he’s alright. Oh, better than alright! Blackwood launches into the next delivery after the brief delay, on the top of his feet past point. He has plenty of the old Caribbean flair about him, the West Indies no. 6. Into the 30s he goes.
A few of you are pretty agitated that I wasn’t across Pinball Wizard. I am sorry. Robert Wilson, though, has my back. “Excellent generational Pinball Wizard overhead whoosh there People keep forgetting you’re a whippersnapper.” Well, I don’t quite qualify for that now. But in this context, you’re right.
Perhaps it had to come undone. Hope went for one too many drives, misreading the length. A fat inside edge back onto his timber. That’s his day done. Just when it looked like they were to put in some sort of shift, it is now four in an hour to begin the third day as they take a drink. Roland-Jones into the book.
28th over: West Indies 88-4 (S Hope 15, Blackwood 25). Seven boundaries between these two now. That might be Blackwood’s best, in what is emerging into a tidy little highlights reel of the session, smashing past point. Nine from it.
27th over: West Indies 79-4 (S Hope 15, Blackwood 16). More runs for Hope behind point, more convincing this time around off TRJ, hits it well to the rope. He’s looking alright here, the older Hope. Who I called Chicago Hope on radio commentary once. It just kind of spilled out of my head. There was no link to the 90s TV show, however hard I tried to find one.
Gordon Henderson chips in to add to Simon McMahon’s bit from before. I should probably have known this. The Who still a blackspot of mine. Judge away.
26th over: West Indies 75-4 (S Hope 11, Blackwood 16). Well, they’re having a pop, these two. Hope’s turn, hammering the new bowler Stokes beyond point and into the advertising boards. He takes three more to end the over, keep the strike and move into double figures with a prod past backward point. Nicely timed.
“Interesting commentary by Mike Atherton on the changing characteristics of Caribbean pitches in general and Sabina Park in particular - loss of pace and bounce and tending towards sub-continent surfaces.” I heard that too, Brian Withington. It was quite interesting saying that he self the West Indies was closer to playing in the sub-continent these days. Certainly so in places like Dominica. Could be Dhaka. “Over here it’s noticeable that the Oval is no longer quite as pace friendly. Apparently pitches can get “tired” after a few decades (I know the feeling) and may need to be relaid where funds permit (no comment). What have they done to keep Perth relatively frisky?”
25th over: West Indies 68-4 (S Hope 4, Blackwood 16). Tobias for his first little jam roll of the fixture. And what a welcome: Blackwell driving the first delivery with full Caribbean flair down to long-on for the shot of the day to date. Nearly brings an inside edge onto his timber mid-over, but it is bat on top here with another dazzling drive down the ground to end the set. No backswing there, all timing. Well, I’ve given Blackwood a little slap to begin here, and so far he’s looking really good. Fair play to him. Better go on with it, though.
“Oh Jimmy Jimmy,” chants Simon McMahon. “I think I knew that ever since he was a young boy, Mr Anderson would be a pink ball wizard. Sorry, I’ll get my own coat.” I don’t get it? But you lot probably do. So I’ll leave it there.
24th over: West Indies 57-4 (S Hope 4, Blackwood 6). Shai Hope leaves a couple then gets off the mark with a steer behind point. Will pay that. Keeps out a full one, defends solidly down the ground. Could be okay. Let’s hope so, for those who like Tests going into, you know, a fourth day. “Is it fair to say that the Windies have three Hopes in this match!” quips Matthew Doherty. I’ll pay that too.
23rd over: West Indies 53-4 (S Hope 0, Blackwood 6). Nice shot from Blackwell to end the Anderson over there, high in the crease and punching a bit like Joe Root actually. Makes great contact in front of point, along the carpet. Got a couple in a similar direction earlier in the over to get off the mark. More, please, Jermaine. No madness today. No excuse for it. The West Indies 50 up in the process.
Johnny Starbuck, the best name in blogging, has joined the conversation. Remember, you can to, in all the usual places.
22nd over: West Indies 47-4 (S Hope 0, Blackwood 0). For all the action, Broad is yet to get into the book. He’ll want to set that straight, and nearly does when Hope has a swing and a miss at a wide one. Probably leave that alone when you’re 267 behind the follow-on. He survives. Another maiden.
Brian Withington picks up our conversation from Old Trafford last week. “Nervous though I am of Ian Copestake’s admonition of book reading during cricket, I’ve now finished the superb Mystery Spinner by the mighty Gideon, so am in the market for another book recommendation. Any advance on Golden Boy by Chris Ryan (a Rob Smyth special)?”
21st over: West Indies 47-4 (S Hope 0, Blackwood 0). Jermaine Blackwood is next. Watched him make a ton against England a couple of years ago, but he’s seldom looked a Test player since. No discipline to speak of. Not the guy you want coming out right now. He leaves the only ball he has to negotiate before the end of the successful Anderson set.
WICKET! @jimmy9 is on fire – he bowls Chase for a duck!
Uh ohhhh. Jimmy gets his third, straight through chase for an 11-ball globe. Anderson has been moving his stock delivery away from the right-hander, but moved this back with the seam like the gem that he is. An inside edge collected, the stumps disturbed, the young-gun walking back. Whisper it: this could be over today.
20th over: West Indies 47-3 (S Hope 0. Chase 0). Another maiden, this time Broad to Hope. He cops a beaut, not too dissimilar to the one that got his brother a couple overs back from the other end. Tough, tough going out there. I’m a bit of a fan of Hope, though. His numbers are dire, but I think he’ll make it. Mostly because he took on the Australians for about half an hour a couple of years ago when no one else would. Ton against Derby last week in the warm-up as well.
19th over: West Indies 47-3 (S Hope 0. Chase 0). Chase is a pretty good player. He’s big, gives it wallop, can bat patiently in what too often turns out to be a disaster for his team. He’ll need to do all those things today. Hard when Jimmy is hooping them around with the pink ball though. Two fat inside edges save him from an early departure. The first would have hit his stumps, while the second would probably have been given leg before without the timely tickle. Ian Ward on the TV believes both Anderson and Broad a fraction fuller so far today than they were last night.
18th over: West Indies 47-3 (S Hope 0. Chase 0). Chase keeps out the first one. The replays of the run out look worse with each viewing. Instead of going on about that, I’m going to share with you an email from our man in Paris, Robert Wilson.
“Addy baby.” Hi Bob. “Though I’m a long-time fan of classic rain-break high jinks, is it not the case that, in this current era of political horror and societal dismay, cricket (with its unique power to soothe and comfort) has a moral obligation to play on under whatever weather conditions? How else can we suck our thumbs and forget the prevailing truth? Though given the trajectory of the Trump administration, this may well end up in long rearguard sessions in the snow. Do you think the pink ball would cut it in an actual blizzard?”
What can you say? Nice stroke down the ground, but taking on Anderson for a quick single? Not wise. He has three stumps to aim at, hits the middle of those, and the third umpire confirms that the opener is at least a foot and a half short of his ground. An unconvincing stay ends up shambolic circumstances. Ladies and gents: the West Indies.
OH DEAR ME! Is Powell RUN OUT at the non-striker’s end? Direct hit... Looks very out. We’ll see.
NOT OUT! Decision confirmed, review burned. But tell you what, must be 49% of the ball hitting leg-stump there. Was around the wicket to the left-hander, so the angle was always going to work around him. Root head in hands, but probably won’t be long before another chance comes. They’re up and about.
HAS BROAD GOT ONE FIRST BALL? Powell given not out, but Root is confident, going upstairs for LBW. Stand by...
Snorter! Jimmy spits his sixth ball of the morning at the throat of the man on debut, who looked quite good last night, but can’t keep this down. Stokes grassed a catch off Powell before play was stopped last night, but they don’t come much easier than this, lobbing to him in the gully. England away.
Okay. We’re back. Again. Looks pretty clear now. Jimmy give balls remaining in the truncated opening over of the day. For real this time: PLAY.
We have a formal re-start time. 2pm. Well, I say formal - I read it on twitter. But let’s go with it. Good news.
YJB and Moeen. In a Sky pre-recorded thing, involved in a penalty shoot-out. One of the best bits about being in the press box following England around is watching these two play football in their morning warm-ups. Both utter class. Then there is Broad, who has a ping pretty much every time he gets it.
Oh, Gower again! He’s just done a... Richie Benaud impression? I’m not entirely sure, had my eyes on this screen not the TV. Did anyone catch it? I need to know.
Ian Copestake is in. Having a watch at the ground today. “Next to my friend who is now reading a book thanks to the weather. Down with this sort of thing.” It rained for four days consecutively at the SCG when Australia were playing the Windies a couple of summers back, so OBO colleague Geoff Lemon and I decided to entertain ourselves.
Good news to report, though. They believe the covers will be coming off soon. Can’t see any evidence of that in through the glass behind them as they chat on the telly. But let’s hope.
David Gower taking the piss supreme. “There are all sorts of ideas about making Test cricket more attractive. The pink ball is certainly one. Playing in summer... another.” Keep it droll, DIG. Now he’s talking about his preference for the 20 minute interval to be called a “cocktail break” instead of tea. My instinct is we should do whatever he tells us. Here’s a nice collation of the great man’s best moments from an interview earlier this year.
This is made for the OBO. A rain delay after one ball - has this happened before? The challenge: to find out and tell me.
Oh goodness me, forget what I said in the preamble: it’s bloody raining. Within a ball of Jimmy getting back into it the umbrellas are up. And here come the covers.
Jerusalem time. One and all the England players decked out in their Proper Cricket Jumpers. By contrast to the Caribbean pair, Hope and Pollard, in just the shirt. Riveting analyis there, I know. Thankfully, then, we’re ready to play. Jimmy has it in his hands, with a big smile on his face. Can he cash in? Let’s find out. PLAY!
Stuart Broad on Sky. Saying vaguely nice things about the pink ball, especially visibility. After saying it doesn’t shine as well. But on the whole, he’s open minded to how the rhythm of the game changes as a result. A measured tick, I’d call that.
He’s on 379 Test wickets, Stuart. That’s four behind Sir Beef, the Sky lads quickly point out. Got to be some chance to reach/pass that mark today. Would make for nice Sunday paper headlines.
Looking for something to pop on before we begin?
This was really good on TMS yesterday. Aggers joined by Simon Hughes who has done some work digging around the cricket ball factories. A lot of myths/truisms about the pink ball despite only being five Tests in. Worth a listen.
In another break in convention this week, I’m pleased to report we’re starting half an hour early today. Normally, the 11am start is sacrosanct for a Test in England. But seeing as that has been done away with , good to see them getting with the program. With slow overs rates as they are, much better this way.
That early whinge out of the way, hello there! Adam Collins with you to open the OBO batting today. I have Will Macpherson replacing me later on. You were spoiled with a Smyth/De Lisle masterclass yesterday, but we pledge to play all our shots.
Adam will be here shortly. Alastair Cook impressed plenty of people with his 243 yesterday, not least Dawid Malan, watching on from the other end:
Cook gave me a masterclass – it was the best seat in the house. To score 243, whether it’s a good wicket or not, is a fantastic achievement. It just showed how disciplined [you need to be].
He didn’t look like he strayed from the first over to the one he got out in and for a younger player, by international standards, to watch how a master goes about his work and compile his runs shows what you need to be at this level.
A fine day for West Indies, despite the drops. Root was dropped on eight, Stokes on nine, and they went on to score 159 runs between them. But otherwise their bowling was much improved, their fielding reasonably sharp, and they handled that testy final hour pretty well. Game on!
12th over: West Indies 19-1 (Brathwaite 13, Bishoo 1) Woakes spends most of his one over trying to nail the right line, and Brathwaite spends most of it watching him do it. Finally he sends the ball rolling slowly to deep fine leg, and runs two, opting to face the final delivery himself. If he had then got out he’d have felt pretty foolish, but he didn’t.
11th over: West Indies 17-1 (Brathwaite 11, Bishoo 1) Anderson hurries through his over in an effort to squeeze in a 12th before the night is out. The best way for the tourists to slow him down would be to hit the ball somewhere far away, ideally quite slowly – most of the fielders are within 10 yards of the batsman, so it could pretty much go anywhere. They don’t, though. One more.
10th over: West Indies 17-1 (Brathwaite 11, Bishoo 1) Between overs nine and 10 a drink-carrier/messenger runs onto the field to deliver something to the batsmen. Or perhaps just to waste time, though West Indies have done enough of that, with a tremendously slow over rate. Perhaps just one over left.
9th over: West Indies 14-1 (Brathwaite 9, Bishoo 0) Ooooh! Now that is a cracker! Anderson to Brathwaite, the ball moving off the seam, through the gate and just over the stumps! Phwoar!
8th over: West Indies 12-1 (Brathwaite 7, Bishoo 0) Brathwaite gets a single off the first, leaving Bishoo with five to negotiate and a six-man slip cordon to avoid. Broad’s next three balls are all easy leaves, and the final couple too straight.
7th over: West Indies 11-1 (Brathwaite 6, Bishoo 0) Bishoo comes in as nightwatchman and survives the second half of the over. The delivery that did for Powell got better with repeat viewings, and viewed from behind the stumps it looked a stunner.
Again an unleavable delivery, heading straight at Powell, moving slightly away, rising swiftly, taking the edge and flying straight to Cook, who doesn’t drop those!
6th over: West Indies 11-0 (Brathwaite 6, Powell 4) Powell finally plays a shot, and the ball flies off the splice and straight to the gap where fifth slip might have been! England had four slips and a gully, so it was the only place it could safely have gone. Then Broad bowls a cracker, which heads straight at Powell before swinging away – a little too far away – at the last.
5th over: West Indies 6-0 (Brathwaite 6, Powell 0) Anderson finds a way to stop Brathwaite leaving everything, bowling a yorker that the batsman digs out. Maiden.
4th over: West Indies 6-0 (Brathwaite 6, Powell 0) The tourists are happy to play the long game here, leaving everything they can – and they have been able to leave quite a lot – hoping they don’t meet a miracle ball, and trusting conditions will be more friendly in the morning. Maiden.
3rd over: West Indies 6-0 (Brathwaite 6, Powell 0) Anderson gets the ball to swing away from Brathwaite, who isn’t biting. This next half-hour or so, under grey skies and floodlights, could be a bit tasty.
2nd over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 0) Brathwaite gets a couple through midwicket and then sends the ball in a similar direction for one. Broad then has Powell squirming, the final two deliveries moving a touch off the seam. This, nominated by Andy Killeen, is basically a modern cover version of Secret Squirrel, is it not?
1st over: West Indies 1-0 (Brathwaite 1, Powell 0) There’s a loud appeal as the final delivery raps Powell on the pads, but it sounded like there might have been an inside edge on it.
The players are back out, and West Indies’ response is about to get under way.
Not a great total from England, but it would have been considerably worse had the fielders been at all keen on catching.
Roach bowls shortish and widish and Woakes nicks it through to Dowrich, who has an easy catch and this time takes it.
70th over: England 258-9 (Woakes 23, Broad 0) Well, that was action-packed. Holding, who seems not to be a fan, declares that Holder “has finally decided that Roston Chase isn’t a very good spinner” as Gabriel takes over, and a wicket immediately follows. And so does another hilarious drop! Broad clips the ball behind and the ball bounces out of Dowrich’s gloves! My suspicion is that he deliberately pushed it into the air, rather than immediately pouching it, in order to take a showy fancy catch, but he hopelessly fluffed it and the ball ends up on the ground. Gabriel glares at him, in the manner of someone who has completely forgotten his own remarkable drop but minutes earlier. Still, two balls and no runs later, Broad’s on his way.
That’s a perfect yorker, and Broad has no answer!
A change of bowling, and it brings immediate reward! Stokes gets a tiny nick on the ball, and while the umpire makes up his mind the batsman sets off for the pavilion!
69th over: England 258-7 (Stokes 100, Woakes 23) Woakes lifts the ball over square leg for four, and then edges the next straight to second slip – but it doesn’t carry! Roach has had to wheel out the full range of disappointed faces today.
68th over: England 254-7 (Stokes 100, Woakes 19) Woakes hits the first for four, and then he hits the second for four as well! And the fifth! Michael Holding cannot believe that Chase is still bowling, when the wicket-taking specialist spinner Devendra Bishoo is going unused, but after leaking 14 runs in this over he might not be for long. First, though, it’s time for some drinks.
67th over: England 241-7 (Stokes 100, Woakes 6) Stokes is dropped! How did Shannon Gabriel mess that one up? That is among the very worst, most inexplicable drops I have ever witnessed in Test cricket. Roach bowls wide, and Stokes heaves it straight into the hands of Gabriel at mid-on, from where it plops straight out again! And then he gets his hundred with a couple of runs off the next!
66th over: England 239-7 (Stokes 98, Woakes 6) “Can I propose a favourite from my youth?” asks John. “He’s got tricks up his sleeve most bad guys won’t believe.” Surely Secret Squirrel didn’t actually exist? “He’s a squirrel of many faces?” He’s what again?
65th over: England 236-7 (Stokes 97, Woakes 6) Stokes stands just three runs away from what will, if completed, be a not-exactly-chanceless but extremely fine all the same century. He might have got them here, too, but he smashed his cover drive straight to the fielder.
64th over: England 233-7 (Stokes 94, Woakes 6) Chase bowls short and wide and Woakes gobbles it up, cutting past backward point for four.
63rd over: England 229-7 (Stokes 94, Woakes 2) Roach pitches it up, and Stokes works it through midwicket for another delicious four. I’m going to throw in another theme tune here, sent in by George Harvey, which I didn’t recognise but which is really very fine.
62nd over: England 223-7 (Stokes 88, Woakes 2) Chase bowls, and after Stokes gets a single from the first ball Woakes conservatively negotiates the remainder of the over without scoring.
61st over: England 222-7 (Stokes 87, Woakes 2) That’s actually a fine catch from Chase, which looked straightforward at first glance but was actually low enough to be a test.
Kemar Roach returns to manoeuvre the cosh back on top of England again, as Moeen steers the ball straight to point, where Chase catches the ball
at knee height just before it lands!
60th over: England 220-6 (Stokes 87, Moeen 22) Chase bowls, and Moeen heaves the ball over midwicket for four. That’s 10 boundaries in nine overs since tea, and an England side that was under the cosh not long ago are now wriggling their way out from under the cosh, and at this rate will very shortly be entirely cosh-free.
59th over: England 215-6 (Stokes 87, Moeen 17) Stokes’s highlights reel tonight will make very fine viewing. Here’s another cracker for the compilation, a gorgeous, unstoppable cover drive. Then the last ball is hooked to long leg, where nobody’s around to stop it, for four more. Meanwhile, it looks like journalists at Headingley today are being rewarded with cheese.
58th over: England 205-6 (Stokes 77, Moeen 17) Chase’s first delivery is lifted down the ground by Moeen, the ball bouncing a foot or two short of the rope. And then he does similar a few balls later, this time over extra cover. England thus stylishly saunter past the 200-mark. “Roston Chase definitely sounds like the local aristocrat who calls Poirot in to help protect him, but ends up getting mysteriously murdered in the drawing room shortly after Hercule arrives,” suggests Nick Miller.
57th over: England 195-6 (Stokes 76, Moeen 8) That’s another beauty from Stokes, to manoeuvre the ball through a vacant midwicket for four, his 14th boundary of the innings. After a single Moeen very nearly chops onto his stumps, but the ball hits his leg instead and the batsmen run a sharp single.
56th over: England 189-6 (Stokes 71, Moeen 7) Oooh! Chase bowls, and Stokes inside-edges across and just wide of the stumps. His has been an innings of great class and considerable fortune.
@Simon_Burnton Roston Chase would make an ideal Toast of London character, alongside likes of Ray Purchase, Susan Random & Cliff Bonanza.
55th over: England 186-6 (Stokes 68, Moeen 7) There’s a good ball here from Holder, straightening into Moeen, who edges into his pads. Just a single from the over.
54th over: England 185-6 (Stokes 67, Moeen 7) Chase is back, and Stokes shows he’s got silk as well as steel by paddling the ball to the fine leg boundary. “I think Roston Chase sounds more like a new suburb of Royston Vasey, possibly accessible via the new road,” suggests Rob Wolf Petersen.
53rd over: England 178-6 (Stokes 62, Moeen 7) Stokes is purring today! Holder bowls, and Stokes pulls it between mid-on and midwicket. He hit that really hard. He edges the next, but it’s low, wouldn’t have reached the cordon and bisects them anyway.
52nd over: England 171-6 (Stokes 55, Moeen 7) And he gets there with a beauty! Gabriel’s first delivery is beautifully drive wide of extra cover for four! And then he pushes one down the ground for another! A single later, Moeen drives past point for four of his own, and that’s a 13-run over. Ouch.
51st over: England 158-6 (Stokes 46, Moeen 3) The session, like the last, starts with a no-ball. A single from the last leaves Stokes one four from a 50. “There is only one theme music of class: that to Dick Barton, special agent, also known as the Devil’s Gallop,” writes Tone White. “If this doesn’t put you on the edge of your seat you’re probably Mike Pence.”
The players are back out. England need a good session here.
50th over: England 156-6 (Stokes 45, Moeen 3) There’s a lovely delivery here from Gabriel, sliding across Moeen, just past the bat. He does well to avoid that one, and when the bowler sends one down too straight Moeen flicks it off his pads for a couple. And that’s the last ball before tea, which I’ll usher in with one of my favourite more recent cartoon themes, a lovely, gentle lullaby of a tune. Enjoy, and I’ll be back shortly.
49th over: England 153-6 (Stokes 44, Moeen 1) A fourth over of the innings for Roston Chase, and it’s a maiden. Talking of theme tunes, does Roston Chase not sound like a TV programme?
48th over: England 152-6 (Stokes 44, Moeen 1) In comes Moeen Ali at No8, and he’s swiftly off the mark with a single. Now, before I move on, I think you deserve a bonus bit of Keith Mansfield.
This, though, is an excellent catch in the slips. The ball flies low to second slip, where it’s caught just before it lands. It’s referred to the TV umpire, but very many replays provide a bit of doubt but nothing that can possibly overturn the on-field umpires’ soft signal – which was out!
47th over: England 152-5 (Stokes 44, Bairstow 2) And Bishoo’s straight back after a change of ends, conceding but a single. “Brett Domino has a slightly more auto-tuney poptastic version of Grandstand,” suggests Ben Parker, “complete with lyrics!” This is execrable and inexcusable, and I beseech you not to play it.
46th over: England 151-5 (Stokes 44, Bairstow 1) Gabriel replaces Bishoo and Bairstow gets off the mark with a single, allowing Stokes to grab another boundary, chopping the ball past point. “If we’re expanding the theme song … uh … theme to more than just cartoons then please may I put forward Howard Goodall,” suggests Michael Avery. “He’s responsible for all the Blackadders, Red Dwarf (both versions of the intro and outro), as well as 2.4 Children. That’s a world class record right there.” The Blackadder theme suits is programme perfectly, but for me 2.4 Children lacks a little pizzazz. Which is another way of calling it boring, I suppose.
45th over: England 146-5 (Stokes 40, Bairstow 0) There’s no slowing Stokes, though, who thwumps the ball past point for four more. He has faced a mere 51 deliveries.
44th over: England 140-5 (Stokes 34, Bairstow 0) It’s fair to say that Headingley is a much quieter place now than it was five minutes ago.
There’s no dropping that one! Root tries to sweep but the ball flicks off the toe of his bat and loops straight to slip!
43rd over: England 137-4 (Root 57, Stokes 33) Since drinks: five overs, seven boundaries (with at least one per over) and two missed chances. Stokes slaps another through the covers.
42nd over: England 132-4 (Root 57, Stokes 29) Another Root boundary, Bishoo’s final delivery swept away. Gareth Johnson emailed a link to a live rendition of Keith Mansfield’s Grandstand theme, so most of the over disappeared for me in a wistful haze.
41st over: England 124-4 (Root 50, Stokes 28) In which Stokes stands still and just flays the ball through the covers for four. There are some delicious strokes being played at the moment, but the batsmen are also getting away with a few loose strokes. Another chance goes a-begging here, Stokes edging straight to where third slip would have been if there was a third slip. Four.
39th over: England 114-4 (Root 50, Stokes 18) Root completes his 50 with a lovely shot through midwicket for four. That’s 12 consecutive Tests in which he has scored at least a half-century, a feat equalled by AB de Villiers and never beaten. Meanwhile, I can’t believe there has been a lengthy discussion of theme tunes without mention of the Mozart of the genre (these things are subjective, but still), Keith Mansfield. Yes, Grandstand wasn’t a cartoon, but this is just beautiful.
39th over: England 108-4 (Root 45, Stokes 17) Hello OBO world! And I’m greeted with a drop! Roach bowls to Stokes, and it flies off the edge, zipping just wide of the right shoulder of Brathwaite at second slip, where the fielder gets fingers to it but no more. The ball keeps going on its merry way to the boundary, and just to rub it in the next is clobbered through cover.
38th over: England 100-4 (Root 45, Stokes 9) Bishoo getting some good turn – beating Root on the outside edge – before the skipper drops to one knee and sweeps hard and square. Shannon Gabriel, full of overs, doesn’t bother dipping down to use his hands. Instead, he sticks out one of those size 14s, stops the ball dead and fields at his leisure. And with that, I’m off. Simon Burnton takes over with the players away for drinks and the hundred up for England. Thanks for your company.
37th over: England 98-4 (Root 43, Stokes 9) An eventful over, that. Stokes powers Roach down the ground on one knee for four. A few balls later, Stokes chases a very wide ball and someone nails the ground just as the ball is passing the bat. The West Indies appeal but with no great vigour. Ultra Edge shows a loud noise which no doubt features a bit of willow on dirt. But what of leather?
The lack of hotspot showing up the deficiencies of DRS this summer... #engvwi
36th over: England 93-4 (Root 42, Stokes 5) Our first sighting of the leg spin of Devendra Bishoo. Root plays him like they’ve been sparring for years: on the front foot, timing him through midwicket for four.
Some tragic news from Effingham Cricket Club. Last Saturday, they lost one of their senior players Mark Colin, who was taken ill during 1st XI match. Mark sadly passed away later that afternoon at Kings College Hospital, London.
Given the generosity of the OBO, I thought I would share the page his club have set-up for donations for the benefit of Mark’s family and to his commemoration. Details of how you might be able to help can be found here.
35th over: England 86-4 (Root 36, Stokes 4) Just two from the over but both are wides from Holder. Seems to be a bit out of sorts since the wicket of Malan.
34th over: England 84-4 (Root 36, Stokes 4) Gorgeous from Root. Gabriel’s tail is up, digging one in just back of a length. Root, casual as you like, rocks forward, back and pirouettes into a pull behind square for four.
“If we’re going all sci-fi, writes Bob O’Hara, “why not just clone Sir Geoffrey, with promotors to increase expression of extra melanin in his skin? It’ll make everybody happy.”
33rd over: England 80-4 (Root 32, Stokes 4) Stokes off the mark in vintage Stokes fashion. Holder’s full, Stokes is at him, lashing him in the air through midwicket. Might have been caught by the fielder there, sure. Might also be hit by a bus when he crosses the street later today.
32nd over: England 76-4 (Root 32, Stokes 0) Gabriel beats Root gloriously first ball but, three deliveries later, the bowler over steps and serves a full toss that is guided through the covers for four.
James Walsh writes in with some high concept sci-fi hi-jinks regarding Ian Bell: “I know he’s struggled all season and has just quit the Warwickshire captaincy, but could we recall 2013 era Ian Bell to the number 5 spot and the summer 2011 era Ian Bell to number 3 please? This complicated high-concept sci fi gambit, along with recalling Hameed to open, will see us very much sorted out for the Ashes, though there could be complications involving team spirit and whether the current Ian Bell would be happy to be 12th man.”
31st over: England 72-4 (Root 28, Stokes 0) After all that, one from the over, and it’s a wide. Stokes gets one drive away but too square and right to point.
A break for some nonsense as the screen behind the bowler refuses to turn all white, instead staying fixed on the sponsor’s logo. Ben Stokes isn’t impressed. An old bloke nearly does himself a mischief trying to fix it. The crowd laugh and then boo as the minutes drift away. Nick Cook, fourth umpire, steps out and sorts it straight away.
Not a problem in English cricket NGB Cook can't solve
30th over: England 71-4 (Root 28, Stokes 0) Gabriel backs up Holder’s work in the previous with a maiden to Joe Root. It probably shouldn’t have been one, to be fair: a full toss was skewed into the shins of second slip when it could have been slapped into the rugby ground.
@Vitu_E It would appear that reports of the death of West Indian cricket have been greatly exaggerated...
29th over: England 71-4 (Root 28, Stokes 0) Shape for Holder – West Indies have been working on this ball well – and reward for their diligence. Not really sure what Malan was trying to do other than survive for most of his innings. Undone by movement off the pitch but, still, it was a slack drive. Failures for all three of England’s new picks.
Not good, that. Holder comes around the wicket and entices Malan into a drive. The issue is the angle, as the ball comes in to the left-hander as he is playing the shot. It nips in a touch and takes the inside edge onto the off stump. All in all, a grim innings from the Middlesex man.
28th over: England 71-3 (Root 28, Malan 8) A loosener to start for Shannon Gabriel, too. Malan throws his hands at it to dismiss it firmly through point.
“So it seems this one is not a day/night Test!” Slept in, Ian Copestake? “Just when I welcome change into my bed as the new norm it turns out change was just a tease and we are back to absurdly early 11am starts on a Friday! Some consistency would be nice to alleviate the numbing pain of confusion currently twisting my melon.”
27th over: England 66-1 (Root 28, Malan 3) Start as they mean to go on? Jason Holder gets the second session underway with a front foot no ball that Root smashes through square cover. Tom v d Gucht is back with some cartoon chat (sorry, David Keech):
“Having had a quick glance at Wikipedia, the source of most of my limited knowledge, I spotted that the composer of Battle of the Planets was as productive a composer as Levi, writing the tunes for: the Flintstones, Top Cat and the Smurfs. Wasn’t there a rumour that Pigeon Street had its theme written and performed by Paul McCartney?” OBO world, help a brother out.
Right all - just back from lunch to another load of emails. David Keech up first.
“Sorry but cartoon music leaves me as cold as an overly frigid brass monkey in the depths of Siberia so here’s a cricket related email.”
26th over: England 61-3 (Root 24, Malan 3) Class from Root. No matter that it’s the last over before lunch. There are runs to be had. Chase tempts him with two full balls. The first is punched into the covers for two. The second is driven purposefully down the ground, full face of the bat, for four.
@Vitu_E I remember Swann saying he and Prior spent many hours behind the stumps discussing cartoons, so I feel like a test cricketer now.
25th over: England 54-3 (Root 17, Malan 3) Holder to Malan. You know what happened. Malan’s faced 30 balls for that three. Is he still awake?
I’m not sure if David Mills, Chris Monks of David Hindle are friends, but they’ve all dropped into my inbox in the last two minutes to suggest Star Fleet. And with good reason:
24th over: England 54-3 (Root 17, Malan 3) Another maiden has Root tries, twice, to beat midwicket with a whip off an off-stump ball from Chase (free-ish hit what with the lack of turn). Finds the fielder on both occasions.
Apologies to Joseph Surtees for the delay (and others on Twitter – I’m a bit behind on there). But this is a heck of a shout:
@Vitu_E The best cartoon theme tune is obviously Pinky & the Brain. It also sounds superb in Russian -- https://t.co/HvAKJ6dX68
23rd over: England 52-3 (Root 15, Malan 3) Bit of shape into the left-hander from Holder. Certainly something for Malan to cover as he makes a move across his stumps to play forward. Are either/both getting paid by the maiden? That’s another one these two have played out.
“My favourite cartoon was Count Duckula,” writes Robin Hazlehurst, “though not necessarily for the theme tune (get those 80s synths!). Very funny as I remember it, and voiced by David Jason, so classes as proper serious light entertainment too.”
22nd over: England 52-3 (Root 15, Malan 3) Seam doing the business so Roston Chase, part-time off spinner comes into the attack. I don’t get it. A full toss is swept around the corner by Root for four through fine leg. I just don’t get it.
21st over: England 44-3 (Root 8, Malan 2) More of Malan’s possum act as he plays out another six dots.
“A rather unfortunate drop there,” writes Romeo. “But I wouldn’t have done any better.” I don’t know - it couldn’t have been easier. “A theme tune for the ages, and the aged: Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot Men...”
20th over: England 44-3 (Root 8, Malan 2) Umpire Ravi threatens not to wide an atrocious delivery down the leg side from Gabriel. Thankfully, sense returns to him in time to streth out those arms. Just as the over looks to be dying down, Root is put down at first slip by Kieron Powell! What an awful, awful, awful, awful, awful awful drop. Finally, Root makes a mistake but all the hard work and pressure West Indies have built up has disappeared. Just like that. Root was walking off...
Simon - you’re a man after my own heart...
@Vitu_E got to vote Cap. Bucky O'Hare for best cartoon theme song https://t.co/DtxS9V7h6Q He goes where an ordinary rabbit wouldn't dare
19th over: England 43-3 (Root 8, Malan 2) Malan looking to learn from the mistakes of fellow newbies Stoneman and Westley. He’s not driving. No sir. Not before lunch. It’s a maiden to Holder, who replaces Roach this time.
Chris Goater emails in, straight to the point: “All your readers are wrong. The greatest cartoon theme tune is this one.
18th over: England 43-3 (Root 8, Malan 2) Root grafting, but still managing to get the ball into gaps. A deflect off the back foot to third man, as Gabriel ticks over the 85mph mark, should only be one, but good running from Malan and Root ensure there’s a second run.
Luke Davies from Vietnam – full disclousre, we used to go to school together – might have won this round: “Don’t have twitter but you’ve surely got to get a mention of The Poddington Peas theme tune in the OBO at some point! Had it as a ringtone on my phone as a hoodied teenager...”
17th over: England 41-3 (Root 6, Malan 2) Roach, steady as, almost forces Root into a misjudgement. Luckily, the awry drive goes between cover and point. Things happening for the West Indies. Tom v d Gucht emails in with the subject Shuki Levi – the John Lennon of kids TV themes
“Ulysses 31 was a cracking theme tune - bombastic, forceful and full of 80s synth and guitar.” He’s right, you know:
16th over: England 40-3 (Root 5, Malan 2) With wickets to be had, Holder takes himself off and brings Gabriel back and five men waiting in the cordon. Bat pad, too. A short-ish ball to Dawid Malan allows him to skew one into the leg side and take two. Meanwhile, thank you to Richard Morris for bringing this to my attention: the trailer for the live-action remark of The Tick...
15th over: England 37-3 (Root 4) Fair play to Kemar Roach, who is into the eighth over of his opening spell and still causing trouble. Stoneman’s doughty innings is over. Don’t adjust your sets – the West Indies are on top.
Class from Roach and England are three down. Roach gets one through Stoneman, taking the inside edge on its way to the keeper.
14th over: England 37-2 (Stoneman 19, Root 4) Despite bowling a few junk balls, it looks like Jason Holder is going to get away with a maiden. Stoneman has other ideas, working a ball on middle stump through midwicket for three.
Steven Kelk joins us from the Netherlands: “I loved MASK as an impressionable young child. The trouble is, my attempts to convince people that it was all real were consistently undermined by the fact that the ‘K’ stood for ‘Kommand’. Deep in my heart I knew that a real mobile armoured strike command would never make such a fundamental spelling error, and that hurt. I’m not sure the people who thought up the cartoon realised the damage they were inflicting on young minds. “Ah, I hear that Kook has just been caught at slip...”
13th over: England 34-2 (Stoneman 16, Root 4) Joe Root gets off the mark after drinks with a glorious drive through extra cover. So crisp, so clean. An email from Jeff Livingstone, of the excellent In Bed With Maradona: “Like many on the OBO carousel I’m all for a bit of retro cartoon nostalgia, but failing to recognise the magnificence of current staples such as Adventure Time, Regular Show and Gumball ignores the fact that we are very much in a golden era of animation.” I can’t wait to have kids.
12th over: England 30-2 (Stoneman 16, Root 0) A change in the bowling as Jason Holder brings himself on to give Gabriel a rest. Stoneman drives uppishly through backward point and lives to tell the tale. Four more to him. Speaking of whom...
“Can I propose a future cartoon super-hero?” starts Pete Salmon. “Name of StoneMan– a redoubtable figure who is able to hang around with the gnarled old, yet baby-faced, character known as The Cook for more than three test matches, and is able to ascend to the dizzy heights of a test average somewhere north of 35? Its what the people are crying out for, after the dull adventures of Jennings.”
11th over: England 26-2 (Stoneman 12, Root 0) Here comes Joe Root. I was going to say “earlier than expected” but he’s probably used to it by now. Since the start of 2015, 33 times the fall of the second wicket has come with England less than fifty. Not goo (24 times above, by the way). “Don’t forget Captain Planet,” urges Ian Palmer. “Because he is a hero, and he will take pollution down to zero.”
“Sadly I always remember thinking ‘Is Captain Planet going to stop my Dad from driving me anywhere?’ And not liking him for it. I had cricket to get to and I didn’t fancy lugging my pads all the way because there was no car any more.”
Oh Thomas, don’t do that. Roach, wider on the crease, gets the ball to spear into the pads of Westley. TW is sizing up a drive down the ground, but the angle of the ball meant his margin for error was very small indeed.
Westley is trapped by Roach for 3 - the fourth time in six Test innings he has been out aiming in the vague direction of mid-on.
10th over: England 24-1 (Stoneman 12, Westley 1) Gabriel doing work now. He’s beaten Westley for pace and then found his edge, which falls just short of Jason Holder at second slip. A bit of movement into Westley allows the right-hander to push beyond short leg for a single to get him off the mark.
“Surely Mysterious Cities of Gold was the 80s theme tune to end all theme tunes?” asks Gareth Fitzgerald. There have been a few shouts for this on Twitter, too:
9th over: England 21-0 (Stoneman 10, Westley 0) Nicely done by Stoneman, who times a drive through the covers for two, as Kemar Roach changes to around the wicket because of the lack of movement on offer. By the way – the West Indies players are wearing black armbands after the mother of their bowling coach, Rod Estwick, passed away yesterday.
8th over: England 19-1 (Stoneman 8, Westley 0) Now with a right-hander, Gabriel pulls out a few tricks. A couple of defensive shots from Tom Westley aren’t totally comfortable. The change-up – a bouncer – has Westley ducking though not keeping his eye on the ball. Had no idea Oliver Reed was involved with this:
@Vitu_E link manga animé to Oliver Reed's rare proper acting? dogtanian. Late 30s boys / girls will remember. #obohttps://t.co/gajGwHMuCH
That’s more like it, Shannon! A probing line from over the wicket has Cook edging once more. This time, the ball rises a touch and takes a healthy edge to Kyle Hope, who takes a sharp low catch to his right at third slip.
7th over: England 18-0 (Cook 11, Stoneman 7) Just as Nasser Hussain maligns the fact that West Indies have a fine leg instead of a third man, Cook edges low through the latter for four runs. He’s good, Nas. David Wall submits Captain Scarlet. Great show (again). I had the figurine as a kid. I’d say it was worth something but it’s almost certainly missing a limb. I was reckless like that.
6th over: England 14-0 (Cook 7, Stoneman 7) Another maiden but not quite as threatening as it could have been from Gabriel.
5th over: England 14-0 (Cook 7, Stoneman 7) Roach tests out Alastair Cook wide, outside off stump. Rather than cut, Cook decides to work on his back foot punch, timing the ball away through point for his first boundary of the day. Like all good OBOers, David Pearce corrects my earlier comment on Arthur:
Hi Vish. Just to answer your question. Arthur was an aardvark. He'd also probably outbat the bulk of the WI top six at the moment!
4th over: England 10-0 (Cook 3, Stoneman 7) A maiden for Shannon Gabriel. Ball isn’t doing too much through the air. Back to pink, lads? Meanwhile, news from Matt Crocker on Twitter that Ducktales is getting a reboot... starring David Tennant!
3rd over: England 10-0 (Cook 3, Stoneman 7) Chef and Rocky exchange the strike this over. James Walsh rides into town with this pearler of a contribution: “I see Phil Sawyer’s Earthworm Jim and raise him The Tick. Glorious parody of the superhero genre and has aged much better than I have. Is on its way back as a live-action remake with Peter ‘you shot me in the bollocks Tim’ Serafinowicz apparently.” Oh that really couldn’t be more up my street.
2nd over: England 8-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 6) A promising start from Shannon Gabriel, despite starting like a bloke who needs a long, deep soak in WD40. Finds the edge of Mark Stoneman’s bat with a bit of movement away from the leftie. Stoneman’s sharp, though: refusing to follow the ball and keep his hands soft hands to guide it into the ground in front of second slip and through the cordon for four to get off the mark.
@Vitu_E Duck Tales? Raccoons? Bow down to the majesty of Arthur! https://t.co/EgXB4wgth0 Best theme tune for a kids cartoon ever!
1st over: England 2-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 0) Back to the red ball we go, in the hand of Kemar Roach who gives us a quirky start from around the wicket to Alastair Cook. Presumably, he’ll be over the wicket as per for Mark Stoneman after seeing him off with a pealer in the first Test. The first runs of the day come through backward point, as Cook jabs away through the off side to get going.
“Cartoons, eh?” starts Phil Sawyer. “Now there’s a riff I can get into. For sheer bonkersness, you just can’t beat a bit of Earthworm Jim. I actually used to get up early on a Sunday morning in my student days just to watch it. And it took a lot to get me out of bed back then. Still does, if I’m honest.” What a show and a pretty decent game on the SNES, if I remember correctly...
Before we get underway, Tim Maitland emails in with “a quick social media etiquette/OBO delusions question:
“Someone called Sarfraz Nawaz has liked a comment I made on a Facebook group called Hong Kong Snakes.” I mean, that’s definitely going to need context. Nevertheless, on we go: “Is it totally reasonable to assume that it is the Pakistan and Northamptonshire legend? I only ask, because questioning him further could lead to disappointment.” Yes, I think you’re safe to assume that. Now, about those snakes...
“DuckTales was good, but it was no Racoons,” writes Stephen Brown. Great shout. “I hope Stoneman can bag a hatful of runs here—just to slow down the number of questions about the batsman who are going to go to the Ashes.”
“We’ve got to put up a bigger fight,” says Jason Holder. He also says he’s not heard any of the criticisms from former players. Looks well sunned for a man who has spent the last week under a rock.
Joe Root, chipper, captaining at home, didn’t hesitate when asked what he was going to do. One change for England, as mentioned – two for West Indies, with Shannon Gabriel and Devendra Bishoo coming in for Miguel Cummins and Alzarri Joseph.
Just had a glimpse of the deck and it looks prime for batting. Runs and lots of them the order of the day. However, there’s a bit of doubt as to what Joe Root will do. Might be tempted to stick the West Indies in to rattle them out sharpish…
In other news –the world keeps spinning as Tres signs on for one more year. Hero.
BREAKING: Marcus Trescothick has signed a one-year contract extension!
You can get in touch with the OBO as per: drop into my inbox by hitting me up on vithushan.ehantharajah.casual@theguardian.com or on Twitter with the handle @Vitu_E, just like Andy...
Damn that's some good hot . WI can't do anything w/out someone rattling off names of 80s greats. Bit like having Superman as an older bro.
Hearty good mornings to ya and welcome to OBO coverage of Day one of the second Test between England and West Indies. I, Vithushan Ehantharajah (Vish will do), will be your guide through this fine Headingley morning, hoping the weather stays fair and willing West Indies to far greater heights.
A lot has been made of just how meekly the tourists folded under the Edgbaston lights. The pink ball took some of the heat but most of the intended targets were scorched after an innings-and-209-run-shellacking. You could not move for takes on the decline of cricket in the Caribbean, Test cricket as a whole and the wider world at large (mercifully, it was just an eclipse). You have to feel for the players under the maroon flag. Everything they do is scrutinised beyond recognition: at worst, drawing lazy, borderline offensive stereotypes around lethargy – at best, compared exhaustingly to That Great West Indian Side of The EightiesTM. Jermaine Blackwood could save a family of five from a burning building and some nostalgia junkie would still moan about how Gordon Greenidge would have done it in one trip.
Vish will be here shortly. In the meantime you can enjoy Vic Marks’s preview of the second Test …
102nd over: West Indies 329-5 (Hope 147, Blackwood 21) The day’s nearly done, but Moeen still wants Blackwood to go big. A few go above the eyes. Second ball, Blackwood opens the face into a drive and gets four through cover point. Two to cover. And then he finishes the day with a four around the corner as Moeen drifts one down leg.
Remarkable day for West Indies. Remarkable day for Kraigg Brathwaite and Shai Hope. They came together at 35-3, nine overs into the morning’s play and combined for 246 runs. Hope, maiden Test hundred in the bag, might be eyeing up a double tomorrow. Tomorrow should be a belter.
101st over: West Indies 319-5 (Hope 147, Blackwood 11) Solid from Hope, as he pinches two on the off side. Just when I was starting to wonder if he’d packed most of his attacking shots away, he goes for an expansive drive and has to pull out as Stokes finds a bit of movement off the surfrance. Not for the first time today, the ball flies through the gap at third slip and away for four.
100th over: West Indies 313-5 (Hope 140, Blackwood 11) Blackwood gets on strike and Moeen tosses a couple up. Two drives are played, both flamboyant, but only the second goes anywhere. It may be right to mid off, but Blackwood’s sharp and makes his ground with ease. Hope, meanwhile, is doing as Hope does.
99th over: West Indies 311-5 (Hope 140, Blackwood 10) Just a single from the over: a leg bye taken by Jermaine Blackwood, who ideally wanted to send Ben Stokes over square leg but has to watch the rest of the over from the nonstriker’s end. Change of tact as Moeen Ali comes into the attack for James Anderson...
98th over: West Indies 310-5 (Hope 140, Blackwood 10) Bit of shape for Anderson, away from Blackwood... so Blackwood follows the ball, opens the face, and slaps it over cover. YES.
97th over: West Indies 305-5 (Hope 140, Blackwood 6) Stokes to continue. He’s been excellent this evening. Blackwood plays a helicopter leg glance to the man out on the leg side fence for a single. High risk, low reward.
96th over: West Indies 302-5 (Hope 139, Blackwood 4) Excellent from Anderson, as he beats the new man, Blackwood, with a leg cutter that leaps off the surface. JB nabs a leg bye to get himself off strike.
95th over: West Indies 300-5 (Hope 138, Blackwood 4) No nightwatchman as Jermaine Blackwood walks to the crease. Like that. Like that a lot. Stokes greets him with a short ball which he ducks. Blackwood returns the jab with a haymarker through cover on the up for four. OUTRAGEOUS shot to get off the mark. Even Stokes is impressed.
Now then... [/Athers]... Stokes gets Chase with a sharp, rising delivery that is fended to first slip. Seven overs after this one left in the day. Can England steal a march at the death?
94th over: West Indies 295-4 (Hope 137, Chase 5) James Anderson replaces an erratic Chris Woakes and is immediately on the money. A delivery that moves late catches Hope unawares. Leg stump is in danger but, somehow, an inside edge just misses and runs away for four. Next delivery, Anderson tempts a drive and gets one... through cover for three.
93rd over: West Indies 288-4 (Hope 130, Chase 5) Ben Stokes has turned things up a notch. He’s bowling at good pace – mid-to-high eighties – and nearly tempts Chase into a loose pull. Chase, however, pulls out well.
92nd over: West Indies 287-4 (Hope 129, Chase 5) Cracking delivery from Broad, third one up. Scrambled seam angles into the right-handed Chase, before holding its line off the pitch and beating his outside edge. He’s bowled some bad spells with some cracking deliveries in them, today. The very next ball, he offers Chase the chance to through his hands through the ball. Chase obliges – four through cover.
91st over: West Indies 282-4 (Hope 128, Chase 1) Solid maiden from Stokes, who sets up Chase for a delivery from wide of the crease, angled into the pads. Chase covers up well with his bat.
Finally a wicket. Was starting to get nostalgic for the all conquering England sides of early August 2017
90th over: West Indies 282-4 (Hope 128, Chase 1) Roston Chase is the new man in. Broad, running in a little harder, tests out his defence. Solid enough. When he’s slightly short, Chase is off the mark with a whip to the boundary rider out on the leg side.
Just before Broad started this over, Tom v d Gucht sent this email: “I reckon England are just about on top here. No doubt a massive batting collapse is awaiting the Windies just around the corner, limiting them to a lead of around 70-80, before Cook and the other decent England players all bosh out some runs before skittling the Windies second time around for under 100 following a Broad hot-streak.”
WICKET! YES! REALLY! Broad gets one to move off the surface and into Brathwaite, who can’t cover the movement well enough. Stumps disturbed. What an innings through. Incredible effort from Kraigg Brathwaite, who gets a hearty ovation for his 249-ball effort.
89th over: West Indies 281-3 (Brathwaite 134, Hope 128) New spell for Stokes. A good diving stop from Root at wide mid off keeps a four through cover at bay and the dots that follow nearly bring about a dismissal when Hope drives loosely towards Mark Stoneman at cover point. However, the ball drops short and Stokes goes red. Again.
“If Italy did play Test cricket,” starts Graeme Thorn, “then the president of the Italian Cricket Federation would have to be that famous Milanese cricketer, Ted Dexter.” Had no idea about that little bit of trivia on Ted.
88th over: West Indies 281-3 (Brathwaite 134, Hope 128) Just two runs after the drinks break. Gorgeous blue sky about Headingley. Tickets still available for tomorrow by the way, if you in the area. £35 for adults, £10 for kids. Good value Test cricket.
“For a while now, I’ve been trying to mentally fit Kraigg Braithwaite into the song Zabadakand I’ve just realised I was wrong,” writes John Starbuck. “The cue was Shai Shai for Mr Hope. I know it’s a bit ancient, but it’s quite good for a singalong to accompany an obdurate innings or two.”
87th over: West Indies 279-3 (Brathwaite 133, Hope 127) Nonsense review called by Joe Root but led by Jonny Bairstow. Woakes sends one down the leg side and Bairstow is so sure that Hope has tickled this through to him. He hadn’t, though. Bat far away from pad – a pad which diverted the ball to JB’s left. Woakes, struggling, drifts onto leg stump and is dealt with accordingly. Hope gloriously timing him through midwicket for four. Next ball, he’s check-driven exceptionally down the ground for a second boundary.
86th over: West Indies 271-3 (Brathwaite 133, Hope 119) The ball may be new but the approach is still the same. Brathwaite’s playing it under his eyes. Hope is adjusting the face of his bat with a shrug, finding singles here and there. One for him this over comes through gully.
Rock bottom. We are so bad we should be playing countries like Italy.
85th over: West Indies 268-3 (Brathwaite 132, Hope 117) Not a long spell from Anderson. Just two overs and he has made way for Chris Woakes. “I think it’s about time you said West Indies are outplaying England,” writes Romeo. No doubt about that. Take a look at the score. I’ve been on the OBO for two days and only written about England wickets. “Six sessions in a row so far.” Woakes is loose – i.e. not very Woakes – and is flayed through backward point twice for boundaries.
84th over: West Indies 258-3 (Brathwaite 122, Hope 117). Brathwaite produces a carbon copy drive that Hope finished the last over with, only his timing is slightly off so he’ll only get three. Broad grunts, the spectators titters among themselves and Shai Hope walks down to do a bit of gardening. All is well with the greater game.
And the scores are level.
83rd over: West Indies 255-3 (Brathwaite 119, Hope 117) What looks a standard Anderson over – probing, shaply, frugal – ends with a nice drive from Hope, who connects well enough to beat mid off on the inside, down the ground, for four bits.
82nd over: West Indies 251-3 (Brathwaite 119, Hope 113) Stuart Broad charges in, goes for the stumps, tumbles over and Shai Hope keeps his cool, driving straight back past Broad’s strewn body for four. One leaves the right-hander, but he plays deliberately inside the line. No harm.
This stand between Brathwaite and Hope is West Indies's biggest in England in over last 30 yrs. Greenidge/Gomes 287*, Lord's, 1984.
81st over: West Indies 246-3 (Brathwaite 119, Hope 108) The first ball squares Brathwaite up, but he’s in enough to follow the ball effectively and push it out into the off side. All about playing themselves back in with this new, ruby-sheened Dukes.
@Vitu_E He may have failed at Edgbaston, but Roston Chase is averaging 44 in tests and has three test hundreds in 20 innings, two not out.
80th over: West Indies 246-3 (Brathwaite 119, Hope 108) That’s that then. New ball, anyone? It’s taken straightaway and James Anderson gets to use it first. 22-overs left in the day. Here’s a window of opportunity for England...
79th over: West Indies 245-3 (Brathwaite 118, Hope 108) Hope finds a single to midwicket. Otherwise, we’re on the cricket equivalent of “walking” a batter as they do in baseball. Hurry up, out of the way, so we can gets to wickets taking with the new nut.
78th over: West Indies 243-3 (Brathwaite 118, Hope 106) Hope pads away a few from Moeen. Can we “simulate” the next three overs, a la Brian Lara Cricket?
77th over: West Indies 242-3 (Brathwaite 118, Hope 105) Hint of a caught behind from Tom Westley. Not out. Earlier this summer, I saw Tom Westley dismiss Kumar Sangakkara. The context? Sanga was 16 away from equalling the record for consecutive hundreds in first class innings. He was all set to join Don Bradman, Mike Procter and CB Fry before Westley stuck out a mit and took a diving return catch off his own tweak. Awful bloke.
76th over: West Indies 241-3 (Brathwaite 118, Hope 104) There’s a half-half-chance (quarter, then) as Brathwaite sweeps Ali and it rebounds off short leg and balloons down to fine leg. Dawid Malan does brilliantly to save two right at the sponge.
75th over: West Indies 239-3 (Brathwaite 116, Hope 104) Tom Westley returns to ensure we get this new ball as quick as possible. Aside from these two, the rest of the West Indies batting line-up doesn’t really have much to comfort them, aside from Jermaine Blackwood, who is in next. One brings four and all that...
74th over: West Indies 238-3 (Brathwaite 115, Hope 104) Moeen with another over as Ben Stokes seethes at first slip. One turns a fair amount and low, striking Brathwaite on the front pad. The appeal goes up, the umpire says not out and so England think “why not”, with reviews set to reload after 80 overs. He’s like a cat:
Brathwaite comes out on the right side of DRS for a fourth time. 35,46,81, 114. Overturned two himself and two England appeals.
73rd over: West Indies 236-3 (Brathwaite 114, Hope 103) There’s the two-hundred partnership off 313 balls between Hope and Brathwaite as the latter drives Stokes aerially through cover.
72nd over: West Indies 220-3 (Brathwaite 110, Hope 100) England keen to get to this new ball ASAP. Moeen Ali continues and rattles through six balls in the time it takes to unwrap a Kit Kat. Maiden.
71st over: West Indies 229-3 (Brathwaite 109, Hope 100) Utterly glorious from Shai Hope. A maiden hundred from 159 balls. The shot to get to three fiures was a tap around the corner. The one to take him to 99 needs to be put on display: Stokes short, Hope on one leg, whipping a pull behind square leg for four.
Shai Hope follows Brathwaite to a hundred. West Indies trailing by 30 now, partnership almost 200. A lot of humble pie on the menu.
70th over: West Indies 221-3 (Brathwaite 107, Hope 95) Glorious from Hope, as he smites inside out for four. Looks like he fancies getting to that maiden hundred in a hurry...
69th over: West Indies 212-3 (Brathwaite 103, Hope 90) Ben Stokes back into the attack but running up the hill rather than running down it from the Kirkstall Lane End. The Sky commentators reckon it’ll make him hit the crease hard rather than lose his rhythm by getting carried away accelerating down and losing his line. Bang on the money, he gets the edge... but right through the gap at third slip! Oh my. He’s not happy. No one is. Other than Shai Hope, who moves to 90...
68th over: West Indies 206-3 (Brathwaite 102, Hope 85) Play back underway for the evening session and Shai Hope has to cover his toes as one from Moeen Ali keeps low. Just 15 away from his maiden Test hundred...
Decent stat to have your name to, Kraigg Brathwaite:
Openers to score 100s in 3 away from home countries in last 3 yrs:
By the way, there is also over-by-over coverage of the Bangladesh-Australia Test series, which begins tomorrow. Adam Collins is out in Dhaka as we speak, wheeling away on Tuk-Tuks and preparing to wax lyrical on a resurgent home side and a few bloody Aussie noses.
67th over: West Indies 206-3 (Brathwaite 102, Hope 85) Right, Tom Westley’s having a bowl, which doesn’t really make sense considering how little he bowls now compared to, oh I don’t know, Dawid Malan. Anyway, Kraigg’s not one to look a part-time bowler in the mouth and skips down the pitch to slap him over long on for six to take him to his sixth Test hundred! He’s been superb for all 189 of his balls faced, which has taken him close to five hours at the crease – 13 fours and two sixes to his name. A ball later, it’s TEA. West Indies trail by 52 with seven wickets remaining. Don’t adjust your sets...
66th over: West Indies 197-3 (Brathwaite 96, Hope 82) Root has positioned himself right next to the nonstriker, at straight mid on. He watches on as Broad gets the ball to move away from Hope, take the edge and through a vacant third slip.
Root just laughing there as an edge off Broad goes through the gap in the slips. Absolutely tremendous from the skipper.
65th over: West Indies 188-3 (Brathwaite 96, Hope 73) A poor ball from Moeen is slapped through point by Shai Hope to bring up the 152-run partnership. It’s taken 264 balls and seen the run-scoring shared evenly (KG 70, SH 72). Oooo is that a drop? Think it is. Mark Stoneman is under the lid and Hope rocks back and flicks hard off his hip, straight into the midrift of Stoneman. He’s done well to stay focussed on the ball, but the pace off the bat was just too much to gather.
64th over: West Indies 183-3 (Brathwaite 96, Hope 69) False alarm. Sorry. There’s no Malan. As you were. It’s Stuart Broad replacing Stokes. First ball, he squares Brathwaite right up. Unfortunately, that usually packed cordon now has just a wide first slip and a gully. The leading edge flies down to third man for two. Then another goes big, threatening off stump before swooping away from Brathwaite’s edge. Some over that, out of nowhere!
63rd over: West Indies 181-3 (Brathwaite 94, Hope 68) Now it’s Hope’s turn to drive Moeen through the covers for four. He looks like he’s getting a second when he sweeps hard to square leg but brilliant work from Alastair Cook, diving and palming the ball away from the sponge with both hands, saves three runs. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for Dawid Malan...
62nd over: West Indies 173-3 (Brathwaite 92, Hope 62) In trying to go across the right-handers from around the wicket, Stokes goes far too wide and Brathwaite can reach across – just – to knock it on the head behind the gully. Stokes pulls his length back the very next ball and this time Brathwatite pulls out a classic back-foot punch through extra cover. Brathwaite into the nineties...
61st over: West Indies 165-3 (Brathwaite 84, Hope 62) “Are the Windies batsmen buckling down for long innings or is the bowling containing them?” A little bit of both, Andrea Ledward. England wasted the newer ball in the second part of the morning session and are paying for it now as these two look set for dinner and Sunday brunch. David Keech reckons it’s time for the leg spin of Dawid Malan: “He might give away a boat load of runs but with the ball spinning perhaps sharply away from the bat he could get that much needed breakthrough.” Moeen completes another over of, with three taken from it as Brathwaite finds two beyond bat-pad.
60th over: West Indies 162-3 (Brathwaite 81, Hope 62) The sting really has been taken out of England. Ben Stokes tries to get it back by coming around the wicket to Shai Hope. After moving men around at deep square leg, readying the field for a bounce, Hope has to dig out a yorker on leg stump. The next ball, he’s less diligent, flirting with one that goes across him.
That mention of Graham Onions in Over 58 has sent me down a YouTube wormhole. This is a lovely video on the great man talking through his maiden five-wicket haul, on debut against the West Indies. Get him in!
59th over: West Indies 162-3 (Brathwaite 81, Hope 62) England lose a review. It was called for in hope rather than expectation. Brathwaite presses forward against Moeen Ali: the ball passing between bat and pad and through to Stokes, via a deflection off the later. Stokes and Bairstow reckont the former, too. Ultra Edge says no...
58th over: West Indies 161-3 (Brathwaite 81, Hope 61) Another maiden for Stokes and another six played well by Brathwaite. Stokes’ natural action on the ball, jagging into the right-hander, causes Brathwaite to hop up when defending into the leg side, but he does so with a degree of calm that suggests he’s quite enjoying this.
“Your mention of pith made me think trees and gardens,” starts Andrew Benton. “Whatever happened to Graham Onions? Surely the only cricket player ever with a vegetable surname.” Interesting case, Onions. He’s in the last year of his contract with Durham and didn’t play a single one of the Jets’ T20 Blast matches. He’s 34 but still keen to play on. Worth monitoring that one as the County Championship season goes into the home-straight.
57th over: West Indies 161-3 (Brathwaite 81, Hope 61) Brisk over from Moeen Ali and just one from it. The turn that is out there is manageable off the surface. Single to Brathwaite as he blocks around the corner.
56th over: West Indies 160-3 (Brathwaite 80, Hope 61) John Starbuck has a cunning plan. Hear him out: “Time for Root to bowl himself? He will wait much longer than usual because captains who aren’t regular bowlers see themselves as a last resort and therefore discouraging to team spirit. Also, I thought of contributing to the fishy stuff, but decided not to rise to the bait.” Not my plaice to tell you otherwise (sorry sorry sorry sorry). A maiden for Stokes as Shai Hope gets in behind a few.
55th over: West Indies 160-3 (Brathwaite 80, Hope 61) Tidy from Kraigg Brathwaite as he leans into a full ball from Moeen, covers the spin and square-bat-drives through extra cover for four.
54th over: West Indies 156-3 (Brathwaite 76, Hope 61) Afternoon all. Vish here to take you through the rest of day two. Very tempting to open with a head-patting “aren’t they doing well?” Instead, I’ll let Samuel Honywill open for me (he’s well worth a follow on Twitter):
The 'we need a competitive WI team' crowd are absolutely going to tear into England if they lose this game. It'll be glorious.
53rd over: West Indies 154-3 (Brathwaite 75, Shai Hope 60) On comes Moeen, as Joe Root sees what David Lloyd and Ian Botham saw 20 minutes ago. He has a slip, a short leg and a short mid-on, but Brathwaite, unruffled, plays out a maiden. And that’s drinks. It’s the end of another hour that belonged to West Indies, and also the end of my stint. Vish will be with you shortly, bringing his multimedia spark and Bairstow-like energy. So long, and thanks for all the fish.
52nd over: West Indies 154-3 (Brathwaite 75, Shai Hope 60) Stokes’s turn to mix up his lengths, but Hope keeps him out easily enough. England need to make something happen.
51st over: West Indies 153-3 (Brathwaite 74, Shai Hope 60) Anderson tries bowling inswingers from round the wicket to the right-hander, which is not his usual ploy: according to Ian Ward on Sky, only six of his 495 Test wickets have come that way. Brathwaite, staying watchful, tucks a single to square leg. The game is in danger of going to sleep.
50th over: West Indies 152-3 (Brathwaite 73, Shai Hope 60) A maiden from Stokes and another good stop from Bairstow, whose energy is exemplary. I wish England would pick Jos Buttler too though, when they have all these vacancies.
In other news, Man City seem to have squeaked a win at Bournemouth with a late goal from Raheem Sterling, of all people – although he’s been sent off in the process.
49th over: West Indies 152-3 (Brathwaite 73, Shai Hope 60) Anderson rolls back the years to bowl a bouncer, which Brathwaite ducks and Bairstow does well to stop, flinging himself to his left. Then there’s one off the pads that no keeper could stop going for four leg byes. The crowd are making those indeterminate nosies that express a certain restlessness. You can smell the beer.
48th over: West Indies 147-3 (Brathwaite 73, Shai Hope 59) Stokes returns, bowling outswingers – two of which are so big and harmless that they are called wides. His bowling has been a bit middling this summer. I wonder, should he become a specialist batsman, at no.5, and just an occasional partnership-breaker?
47th over: West Indies 145-3 (Brathwaite 73, Shai Hope 59) Hope stabs Anderson into the covers for two, then drops his hands on one for two more, past gully. Anderson is still moving it both ways, but the edges have dried up. Tim Bresnan, of Yorkshire and England, has been telling the Sky commentators that England have bowled too short. My less informed opinion is that it’s a mistake to have Anderson and Woakes on together, as (with Woakes still not back to full throttle) they’re bowling at much the same pace, 79-80mph.
46th over: West Indies 141-3 (Brathwaite 73, Shai Hope 55) Woakes continues, and bowls one bad ball, a very wide one which Brathwaite slaps for four. “Time for Moeen Ali, I think,” says David Lloyd, and Ian Botham agrees. But I’m wondering if Joe Root is secretly wishing he still had Toby Roland-Jones to summon from fine leg.
45th over: West Indies 137-3 (Brathwaite 69, Shai Hope 55) Hope plays a neat on-block for four off Anderson, and that’s the hundred partnership off only 23.2 overs. Well played those men. Anderson now has 0-14 in this spell, which is like anyone else going for 40.
44th over: West Indies 133-3 (Brathwaite 69, Shai Hope 51) Woakes varies his lengths cannily – two bouncers, one yorker – but Brathwaite’s eye is well in now. He plays what seems to be a back-foot defensive shot, gives it a flick of the wrist, and gets four through cover. The batters get a lot of value for money square of the wicket at Headingley.
43rd over: West Indies 129-3 (Brathwaite 65, Shai Hope 51) Anderson continues, and he’s still asking all the right questions. He gets one to jag back and lift viciously at Hope, and finds the edge with another – saved by soft hands, yet again. In the crowd, some people start playing with a beach football.
42nd over: West Indies 128-3 (Brathwaite 64, Shai Hope 51) Woakes over-pitches and Hope says thanks very much with a crunching off drive to bring up a fine, busy fifty. He came in at 35-3 and turned a crisis into a chance to make his name.
41st over: West Indies 124-3 (Brathwaite 64, Shai Hope 47) Heeeeere’s Jimmy, and Hope drives his loosener for four, on the up – classy. He adds a guide, perhaps an edge, for four more. Why are Test captains so averse to having a third man?
40th over: West Indies 115-3 (Brathwaite 64, Shai Hope 38) Root goes back to Woakes, who comes bouncing in with that lovely spring-heeled gait of his. But the sun is out now and Hope helps himself to a two and a three, with a cover push and a back-foot prod to backward point. “I know he’s not faced Jimmy yet,” says Brian Withington, “but might we be watching the early stages of the unlikely triumph of Hope over experience? Not sure where faith and charity come in just yet though.”
In the meantime, Joe Jacob has found a short history of Italian cricket over on the ICC website. “The game of cricket in Italy dates back to 1793 when Admiral Horatio Nelson organised the first-ever recorded game in Naples. Exactly 100 years later, Sir James Edward Spensley founded the Genoa Cricket & Football Club to be followed shortly afterwards by similar entities in Milan and Turin. The advent of Fascism, however, saw the disappearance of the game, which only resurfaced after World War II. The transformation from expatriate to integrated activity started in 1980 with the foundation of the Associazione Italiana Cricket. Recognised by the ICC in 1984 as the first Affiliate Member, the Associazione acquired Associate status in 1995 and, following government recognition, on 1st March 1997 became the Federazione Cricket Italiana.”
More fishing. “Can I just point out that today’s fishy theme is nothing new on the OBO?” You may, Edmund King. “We’ve been here before, specifically during day 1 of the third test against Pakistan, almost exactly 7 years ago. That particular deep dive through the first-class and minor counties players’ listings resulted in the selection of the John Ashdown Where’s My Fish Pie? XI (scroll down to over 13 in Pakistan’s first innings): https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2010/aug/18/england-pakistan-live-cricket
A moment of OBO (and indeed cricketing) infamy, surely?”
And a statgasm, as he would call it, from the master, Rob Smyth. “Since the start of last summer, Anderson has 58 wickets in 12 home Tests at an average of 13.72. Obviously there are concerns about him in Aus, but he’ll surely be around for India next summer.”
Some lunchtime correspondence. The tireless John Starbuck is coming right back at Mac Millings (38th over). “Thanks to Mac Millings for his concern and for the amount of time he must have devoted to his Fancy Dress XI.” Ooooh. “My concern about T-shirts was the design of just one of them, and I didn’t actually pay for any as they were gifts. Also, I don’t have any mental health issues at present, even if following cricket is a strong inducement.”
And Garry Sharp is responding to Dave Bradshaw (39th over). “I used to be a member of the MCC – the Milan Cricket Club. We used to play up near Lake Maggiore, just glorious. There were a few Italian players but many more bemused spectators.”
39th over: West Indies 109-3 (Brathwaite 63, Shai Hope 33) Moeen finds the outside edge of Hope’s bat with the last delivery, but again the hands are soft and the ball drops short of slip. And that’s lunch, with West Indies coming back strongly after a wobbly start. They’ve only lost one recognised batsman, Kyle Hope, and since then his brother has joined Kraigg Brathwaite in a proper Test-match partnership – keeping out the good ones, walloping the bad, and picking their reviews superbly. They’ve added 74 in 18 overs, which is great going in the circumstances. The target I set West Indies, of 300-6, was looking fanciful an hour ago, but it’s just about feasible if Brathwaite can get the hundred he deserves.
“Buongiorno Tim!” This is turning into quite the modern-language class. “Dave Bradshaw here in Tuscany at our agriturismo Mezzano in Chianti... Do you know if the Italiana play cricket?” Pocissimo, I’m told. “They have the weather and the charisma! I’d like to see an Italian lbw shout!!!” Me too.
38th over: West Indies 108-3 (Brathwaite 62, Shai Hope 33) Stokes, who has been mostly swinging the ball in, gets one to go the other way. Brathwaite flashes at it, hard enough to evade Root’s waving hand at second slip and pick up his eighth four.
“Dearest Tim.” Steady on, Mac Millings. “I’m worried about the 20th over’s John Starbuck, what with his sadness about the current state of cricketer-themed fancy dress, and then wandering into rambling distress about t-shirts he himself paid for. Therefore, to cheer him up (or send him deeper into madness), here is my All-time Fancy Dress XI:
37th over: West Indies 103-3 (Brathwaite 57, Shai Hope 33) Moeen, so improved this summer under Saqlain’s tutelage, still bowls the odd amateurish delivery. This one is a full toss outside off, which Hope gratefully cover-drives for four, to bring up the Windies’ hundred.
36th over: West Indies 99-3 (Brathwaite 57, Shai Hope 29) No alarms this time against Stokes, and Hope picks up a cheap three with a tuck to leg. The lights are on. Summertime in Yorkshire.
“In response to Mr Benton (29th over),” says Ben Parker, “I have just trawlered my way through the 600-odd English test players and found four more:
35th over: West Indies 94-3 (Brathwaite 56, Shai Hope 25) Brathwaite, facing Moeen, again mixes watchful defence with the odd big hit – this time, a smack over mid-on that goes like a drop-kick. He can begin to dream of an excellent hundred.
An email comes in from another Wisden luminary, Dileep Premachandran. “When I was a teenager, it was English/Australian/Indian supporters who savoured the rare good session against mighty West Indies. Now, we look desperately to a four-wicket haul or a gutsy 40 as signs of a Caribbean revival that may never come. We’ve seen some sporting dynasties crumble in the last three decades - Liverpool, the Chicago Bulls and the San Francisco 49ers, to name just three - but no decline has been quite as heartbreaking as that of West Indies cricket.”
34th over: West Indies 90-3 (Brathwaite 52, Shai Hope 25) Stokes has two appeals against Hope, but England don’t quite review. The partnership is now 55 – shrewd and plucky stuff. “Brathwaite and Hope have played really well,” says Mike Atherton, who knows a bit about being the boy on the burning deck.
33rd over: West Indies 90-3 (Brathwaite 52, Shai Hope 25) So Root took Broad off, rightly, and brought on Moeen Ali, who almost gets a wicket, but goes for a few. Well played Mr Brathwaite – and well reviewed.
On Twitter, my colleague Stephen Moss is back for more. “Will be funny if Windies win Test after Aggers & Co banging on about their ‘demise’. They are useless, but the England VIII no great shakes.” Love those Roman numerals, though only some of this VIII would be any use in a boat.
Brathwaite celebrates his reprieve with a glorious six, dancing down the track to Moeen, and that’s his fifty off 89 balls – a fine knock in a tough situation.
It was hitting, but the impact was outside the line, so Brathwaite survives again, and that’s two excellent reviews from him.
Given out, and it looks it.
32nd over: West Indies 80-3 (Brathwaite 43, Shai Hope 24) Root turns not to Anderson, yet, but to Stokes, who is fresh from making a curious hundred – two parts savage authority, one part sheer hamminess. His bowling is more straightforward.
“Hola otra vez Tim.” You’re spoiling us now, Geoff Wignall. “Returning to the Ashes as this test drifts aimlessly towards a final-over cliffhanger, agreed Hales is more of a 5 or 6; but so are Bairstow and Stokes, so why not try Hales at 3 as Root clearly wants to and should be kept at 4? He’d only need to survive 90 minutes to do some serious damage to the bowlers’ morale and enhance the gaiety of nations. We keep hearing about test cricket’s need to entertain in order to retain its audience. At worst he’d be out cheaply but that keeps happening anyway. At best he’s a match-winner. There’d still be plenty of batting below him.” True.
31st over: West Indies 79-3 (Brathwaite 42, Shai Hope 24) Broad continues, and so do the runs. Hope, playing nice and late, waits for the inswing and then helps the ball to the very-fine-leg boundary. Root may want to think about having a long stop. Or bringing back Anderson.
30th over: West Indies 74-3 (Brathwaite 41, Shai Hope 20) A rare bad ball from Woakes, which Hope smacks to the point boundary. He’s been positive – 20 off 29 balls – in sharp contrast to Bishoo, first thing. And now the batsmen are even rotating the strike.
29th over: West Indies 68-3 (Brathwaite 40, Shai Hope 15) Broad strays down the leg side and concedes four byes.
Fishy OBO today, says Andrew Benton. “After the flounder-ers, and Peter Salmon’s email, I discovered one Laudrup Withington (cf. Brian, 19th over) of Harvard University was the initiator of a goldfish swallowing craze in the late 1930s - 1939: The year of goldfish gulping. And long may it stay there. C.B. Fry and Arthur Dolphin seem to be the only England test cricketers with fishy names.” Does this count as clickbait?
28th over: West Indies 62-3 (Brathwaite 39, Shai Hope 14) Hope plays a big air-drive at Woakes, then edges for four, then plays and misses again. Woakes is already back to the form of last summer, finding lavish swing and maintaining an exacting line. It was tough on Toby Roland-Jones, who might have three-for here, but the decision to give Woakes some Test overs does make sense. And West Indies have saved the follow-on, which is progress.
27th over: West Indies 58-3 (Brathwaite 39, Shai Hope 10) So Brathwaite survives, and he then cashes in by cutting a low-flying long hop for four. He’s done well at picking off the bad ball, usually from Broad.
There was indeed an inside edge. Bad news for Broad, good news for the contest.
Given out. It’s plumb, but is there an inside edge?
26th over: West Indies 54-3 (Brathwaite 35, Shai Hope 10) Another edge from Hope, another four, because he made sure his hands were soft. Woakes responds with a beauty and a big appeal for caught behind, not given – rightly, as the bat clipped the pad. It was a huge outswinger, too good to take a wicket. And that’s drinks, with a spot of rain in the air. This has been Anderson’s morning – Anderson’s summer, in fact.
Up pops another familiar name, Phil Sawyer. “Morning Tim. John Starbuck [20th over] isn’t trying hard enough. Large moustaches for David Boon and Merv Hughes, a blond wig for Shane Warne, a large false square jaw and a squint for Steve Waugh... ah, I’ve just realised that to pull off the cricketers’ fancy dress you’d have to go as the Aussies. As you were.”
25th over: West Indies 50-3 (Brathwaite 35, Shai Hope 6) Root TAKES ANDERSON OFF, which is actually a good sign, showing that he’s not in awe of his elders. Broad returns, and Brathwaite celebrates with a cut for four and a glance for four more. That’s the fifty up.
24th over: West Indies 42-3 (Brathwaite 26, Shai Hope 6) Hope, learning from Brathwaite, pushes at Woakes with soft hands and gets four.
“Bon dia Tim.” Bon dia Geoff Wignall. “Surely the Ashes conundrum is actually quite straightforward: bring in Hameed and Hales at 2 and 3 along with an extra bowler (Crane?). 6, 7, 8, and 9 from this match all move up a place - into their rightful positions. It’s never difficult to be a hammock-chair selector.” Ha. Yes, Hameed is looking very much the best bet for no.2. But Hales is more of a 5 or 6 than a 3, isn’t he?
23rd over: West Indies 36-3 (Brathwaite 26, Shai Hope 1) Before play began, Sky had a seam-bowling masterclass from Darren Gough. Now they are showing one from Anderson, who continues to make the ball talk. His figures are magisterial: 12-6-10-3. Shai Hope does well to manage a single to fine leg.
22nd over: West Indies 35-3 (Brathwaite 26, Shai Hope 0) Woakes bowls a maiden at Brathwaite, who is now playing the role of the boy stood on the burning deck. Sky flash up the all-time Test wicket-taking list, showing that only two fast bowlers have more than Anderson: Glenn McGrath and Courtney Walsh. Formidable company.
21st over: West Indies 35-3 (Brathwaite 26, Shai Hope 0) After dispatching one Hope, Anderson greets the other with an inswinging yorker, as if he suddenly feels like being Waqar Younis. Hope does well to stab the bat down on it. Anderson has 2-4 this morning, and 495 Test wickets in all.
OBO tradition states that wherever Starbuck goes, Copestake will go too. “I still expect England to grab a hefty lead. Will enjoy watching Blackwood though, as he looked untroubled until Broad got under his skin in the fateful debacle under lights.”
Anderson finds the edge, as he was bound to do, and Root takes a sizzling catch, low to his left at second slip. The collapse is on, alas: Anderson must fancy reaching 500 today.
20th over: West Indies 32-2 (Brathwaite 25, Kyle Hope 1) Joe Root risks the wrath of Broad by replacing him with Chris Woakes, who immediately serves up some immaculate outswing and beats Hope twice.
The OBO wouldn’t be the OBO without an early email from John Starbuck, who picks up on the Liverpool fancy-dress team (16th over). “It’s an odd thing, but you couldn’t have a whole team of cricketers past as a fancy-dress crowd, because the kit has hardly changed. Apart from anonymous umpires, you could have a few in civvies - Boycott in his hat and jacket, Benaud the same plus wig - but that’s about it, unless anyone can come up with others?
19th over: West Indies 32-2 (Brathwaite 25, Kyle Hope 1) Somehow these two keep out Anderson, who gets one ball to go like a leg-break. Wicket no. 495 may be with us any minute now.
“Morning Tim.” Morning Brian Withington. “It’s looking like an imminent apocalypse over Headingley - brilliant sunshine and a menacing filthy dark sky. Set up for Jimmy’s 500th or something out of a gothic novel? Start cranking up the Wagner on the gramophone.”
18th over: West Indies 31-2 (Brathwaite 25, Kyle Hope 1) Brathwaite edges Broad again, but his hands are soft enough to keep the ball down.
17th over: West Indies 31-2 (Brathwaite 25, Kyle Hope 1) So there it is, wicket no. 494. Bishoo did his job as nightwatchman but was strangely inert this morning, ending up with 1 off 33 balls.
Anderson’s worst ball of the morning – short, wide, but fatally tempting, as Bishoo plays a wafty cut.
16th over: West Indies 31-1 (Brathwaite 25, Bishoo 1) Brathwaite tickles Broad for four to fine leg and glides him for four more through the slips, quite safely. In the crowd, the early running is made by a gang who’ve come as the entire Liverpool team from their heyday, complete with Kevin Keegan afros, Terry McDermott moustaches and an uncanny facsimile of Bruce Grobbelaar.
15th over: West Indies 23-1 (Brathwaite 17, Bishoo 1) Anderson’s first over was too short, Nasser Hussain reckoned. This one is fuller, and he gets more swing. Another maiden: his 494th wicket is surely just round the corner.
14th over: West Indies 23-1 (Brathwaite 17, Bishoo 1) Stuart Broad targets the stumps and elicits an edge from Kraigg Brathwaite, which squirts away for four. This innings feels like it could so easily crumble, but it hasn’t done so yet.
“Morning Tim.” Morning Robin Hazlehurst. “A great analogy for this test match just unfolded in a test match on the other side of the world. Last week the All Blacks battered the Wallabies in one of the most one-sided rugby matches you’ll see, and all the predictions for today’s rematch between them were of an even more uneven contest. But in fact it was a cracker that went down to the last minute and could have gone either way.
13th over: West Indies 19-1 (Brathwaite 13, Bishoo 1) Jimmy Anderson opens up to Devendra Bishoo, the nightwatchman, who lives up to his job title by blinking at the sunshine. This being the north of England in summer, there are plenty of dark clouds too. Anderson’s line is testing and has Bishoo flirting outside off stump. That’s a maiden.
On Twitter, Andrew Benton has an answer to my question about all the top-order vacancies. “Only three extra @MoeenAli can fill the spaces left by the @englandcricket flounder-ers. We need sharks & rays, not flat-fish!”
A good question from Stephen Moss, who is one of the Guardian’s classiest writers and also the editor of a big fat Wisden Anthology. I did a tweet just now, trumpeting the fact that the Windies had remembered how to bowl. “But do they have anyone who can bat?” retorted Moss. “With Gayle, Pollard, Samuels, Chanderpaul, Bravo they’d be pretty competitive against the England VIII.” Two excellent points there: West Indies are fielding a virtual Second XI. And England are somehow winning Tests with an eight-man team.
The three fringe batsmen, Stoneman, Westley and Malan, all floundered again yesterday. England’s runs, such as they were, were all made by Joe Root and Ben Stokes, who are, bizarrely, both the leaders of this team and its youngest members. As things stand, the three passengers can hardly go to the Ashes. But who should take their places?
Morning. We have a Test that’s not a mismatch! West Indies only need another 40 to avoid the follow-on! They may even win!
England 258 all out (after choosing to bat first), West Indies 19-1: this, kids, is what life was like in 1984. Except that in those days, the Windies held their catches. If they had done that yesterday, they would have been in the lead by now.
What on Earth was that all about? Three wickets in ten balls, reducing Australia to almost exactly where Bangladesh were seven hours or so ago when they lost 10-for-3 inside four overs.
Bangladesh backed their spin and it paid off. Mehedi is a genius. It took him two balls to have Warner given, albeit off the inside edge. Next ball, out again, this time no bat. Sliding into the left-hander. A movie we’ve seen before in this part of the world.
Last over of the day. Shakib to Smith. The captain in control. Nothing daft here. Couple through midwicket to finish the day. STUMPS. Phew! Let me gather my thoughts.
8th over: Australia 14-3 (Renshaw 6, Smith 1)
Mehedi, the genius, going again. Renshaw, cool, calm, forward. The crowd clapping in unison. This is really something. He’s off-strike with an inside edge. Smith, the captain, in after the nightwatchman. First ball flicking to midwicket, and taking one. They need to motor through, though. Over the wicket to Renshaw - I wonder why? Anyway, a shout for lbw! Outside the line this time. Another inside edge to finish! What a wonderful spell from the 19-year-old.
Three wickets in two overs! Lyon dismissed the way that Austalians so often are in this part of the world, from the ball coming straight down with the arm, around the wicket. Shakib’s got rid of the nightwatchman in five balls. Scenes!
7th over: Australia 14-3 Renshaw 5, Smith 0)
One of the more ridiculous dismissals you will see, Khawaja setting off for a single after padding Shakib away. Likely that any run would have been called a dead ball in any case. Renshaw might have been the man calling him through, hard to tell, but he’s sent back and short by about three inches. What scenes. What chaos. And all of a sudden, what a match we have.
IS USMAN RUN OUT? It is madness! We will see.
He’s out next ball lbw anyway! Mehedi has taken three balls at Warner to get him, given out twice in that time. I tell you what though, should he have reviewed that too? He’s deep in the crease but that has came a long way with the angle from around the wicket. Matters little, as the bat is under the arm and he’s off. TV confirms he’s right to decline the DRS, it is just clipping so the original decision would have stood. Warner’s dismal time in Asia continues.
NOT OUT! Smashed it. Really flogged it. How has Aleem Dar given that out to begin with? Goodness me.
WARNER GIVEN LBW! REVIEWING! Has Mehedi got the vice-captain? We’ll see. He thinks he hit it. Upstairs we go.
5th over: Australia 9-0 (Warner 8, Renshaw 1)
I didn’t quite pick up until seeing the replay how grotty that last ball was to Renshaw, almost rolling. Anyway, moving on. Shakib is into it here. Good call. Less good: Warner having a pop at the reverse sweep first ball! Misses, causing a kerfuffle from the fielding team hoping he hit it. But not confident enough to review. A single to cover means Renshaw gets to do the rest, which again might be for the best. He defends the remainer of the over.
4th over: Australia 8-0 (Warner 7, Renshaw 1)
Good result for Australia with Renshaw doing the bulk of the work against Mehedi. Three catchers around the bat. The 21-year-old getting well forward, using his big, straight bat. Confident, competent batting.
Warner can make loads of runs on Asian decks if he plays with a mindset of 'I'm playing for Hyderabad Sunrisers' not for the Aus. #BANvAUS
3rd over: Australia 8-0 (Warner 7, Renshaw 1)
Shaiful to Warner, using his bat plenty, trying to take him down the ground. But the bowler doesn’t much like that, collecting in his follow through and flinging at the stumps! Hits. Lucky not to go for overthrows. Nice cover drive gets him a couple to finish.
Well done you bloody legend @NathLyon421 ... can't take them off you pal, proud of ya #250club
2nd over: Australia 6-0 (Warner 5, Renshaw 1)
I love this, Mehedi opening from in front of us here at the broadcast end. We saw Jadeja take late wickets in similar circumstances in India against Australia. Positive captaincy. But Renshaw is patient, patting back the 19-year-old. Hopefully these two play plenty of Test cricket against each other through the years. TV tells me he’s actually opened 11 of 15 innings so far in his Test career. Surprised not Mustafizur from the other end, in that case. Beats Renshaw with one that turns considerably, with bounce too, to finish the over. The opener did well not to follow it with his hands.
1st over: Australia 6-0 (Warner 5, Renshaw 1)
Warner coming into this with an average in Asia of 30, making fewer than 200 runs in India across four Tests earlier in the year. And he’s very much the focal point of this over, getting off the mark first ball. Getting another go, he crunches Shaiful through point. Through the air but no fielder there. Absoltely smashed, only bouncing a few times before hitting the rope. Next: huge shout for LBW, Umpire Llong right to turn it down as he smashed it. No review. Between times, Renshaw beaten by a good one. Plenty going on.
Ten-ish overs to come. Hard to know for sure with the rain delay and all the rest. Warner and Renshaw. Go!
He left a dent before holing out, and that’s not for nothing. The no. 10 successfully hacked Agar over midwicket, then sliced four more after a Cummins misfield. Not the first of those today. But when lashing it high in the air to Hazlewood down the ground, one of Australia’s safest pair of hands, the party was over. As is the innings, one ball short of 79 overs.
All told, a disappointing end losing their last seven wickets for 95. But equally, the Australian spinners - especially Lyon - were too good for the lower order. Australia with a tricky little session before stumps.
We have reached the point where the spinner are racing through so quickly that I can’t explain the content of their overs adequately. Two from Lyon. Use your imagination. Oh, there was a bye, for those who are Wade Watchers.
Well, the 250 is up! Shaiful deciding he’s seen enough and taking Agar over his head. Dances with a view to doing it again to the last ball, but no room to swing the arms this time.
Lyon unlucky not to have the number 11 in a hurry too, cramping him immediately, twice in four balls clipping an inside edge. This shouldn’t take long.
What a day for Nathan Lyon, now joining the 250 Club! That familiar appeal, down on both legs pleading with Umpire Dar, who gives him the decision. Bangladesh all out of reviews, so that is that. Not that it would have mattered, this looked pretty out from around the wicket to the left-hander. Flat, straight, bang on. Lyon has three, Australia are taking care of business.
75th over: Bangladesh 246-8 (Taijul 4, Shafiul 0)
Shafiul, included today instead of local lad Taskin Ahmed, sees out the over. Beaten first up, but defending the next couple. Has experience on his side, at least.
Superb review from Steve Smith. Given not out, but Agar around the wicket has got this to go straight on to the right-hander Hossain. He’s forward, but not enough, the ball hitting in line and then going on to strike middle stump. No bat in it either, despite that looking half a chance live - it’s pad first. So, Agar’s second favourable verdict from the machine in the sky this afternoon, and his second wicket. Australia two more to get to complete quite a good day at the office.
Query: is David Warner’s baggy green brand new? It looks bottle green, rather than beer-covered darker green. This is more important than Lyon’s over. Hossain retains the strike with the last ball.
Agar has found some welcome turn and bounce in his later spells. But Taijul gets the reward, four runs from the very top of his bat, maybe a glove. Batsman’s game. Could have gifted a catch in close to the last delivery, but the ball evades Handscomb at bat pad.
Taijul the new man, who plays the Lyon turn with confidence. Takes one (spinner) to know one, I guess. But doesn’t average above 12 with the bat in any professional format.
A wicket at a time when the locals looked ready to really put the foot down again. Handscomb has done the job at short leg. A classic off-spinner’s wicket, Lyon winning the inside edge with considerable bounce. He overtakes Richie Benaud and is now has more wickets than any Australian spinner other than Shane Warne. Nice cameo from Mehedi. But needed to be more to ensure safe passage for Bangladesh into day two. Not much to come here.
I’ve been pretty good on the changes today - it is Agar from the far end. I pledge to learn their real names tomorrow. He beats Hossain with one that really goes. Ample there for any spinner willing to give it a rip and some air today. Batting is going to be brutal later in the week, make no mistake. Ignore that for now though, says Hossain through a whack down the ground. Nothing graceful about it, but over the top and far away. The board keeps ticking.
I reckon Cummins might come off at the end. Throw it back to Agar, Smudge. For now, it’s Lyon to Hossain. Again scoring from the first ball of the set, past point. He’s strong there. Mehedi drives squarely as well when the chance comes to score. Both players looking to get on with it. Hossain again tries to beat the field with a drive to end the over, but doesn’t get it beyond mid-off. Excellent quarter-hour for the hosts since the breather.
Oh yeah, Mehedi well up for this. Back to a Cummins shortish one and thumping over point. Cummins hits back with a yorker. Bowled. But offers up a half-volley towards the back of the over, two more coming from the teenager down the ground. 19 years of age. What were you doing when you were 19? Nothing about my 20th year was flattering.
Nathan Garry Lyon from the broadcast end. The Garry-Garry Lyon won’t be having a good night after how the footy end. Oh dear. Serves them right for voting for the merger in 1996. Okay, not for here, another time. Mehedi’s inside edge gets him off strike to begin, so Hossain has to face Australia’s no. 1 tweaker, who has been dangerous throughout. Does well to blunt the spin, then grab one himself behind point. Loose one to end, Mehedi helping it on its way for three down to fine leg. Lot of noise in the stands, and in the press box to be fair, with the locals realising how important it is these two can stick it out for as long as possible. Not much to come in the sheds. Gotta be there at stumps.
For those who like omens. Agar bowling in the break with spin coach Sri Sriham. Just as O'Keefe did in Pune before a spell of 6/5. #BANvAUSpic.twitter.com/138LMCD27d
Welcome back! And welcome back to Cummins says Hossain, first ball lashed through cover. Shot. Lost 35 minutes by my count.
There is a restart coming. I don’t have the exact time to hand, but looks to be about quarter of an hour from now. Covers all coming of quite quickly. Perfect sunshine once again.
Unexpected good news. The giant covers are being taken off, leaving the more conventional square/run-up tarps. Sun is out and rain has stopped.
Yeah, it’s heavy enough. The most-of-the-field covers are out. Favouring the western side of the field for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Maybe it doesn’t drain as well?
In my vast experience in Dhaka (three days) when it rains it does so hard and comes quick. That’s pretty much what has happened here. It is monsoon season after all. Remember, South Africa had two Tests scheduled at the same time of year a little while back and both were washouts.
Seam it is. Via Cummins, who had three wickets inside eight balls this morning. Less convincing here when he misses his slower ball altogether, it coming out the top and landing somewhere around point! Collected by a fielder, signalled no-ball. I reckon he batsman within their rights to walk up and smash that. Anyway, Hossain didn’t.
Lyon to an off-breaker a decade his junior, Mehedi. The man who took 12 wickets the last time he played here, running through England in that famous victory last October. Three singles through the over. Might be time for seam again. Quick burst of reverse, then chill out before the second new ball, due an hour or so from now.
65th over: Bangladesh 214-6 (Hossain 9, Mehedi 5)
Agar. Could he be the first to start bowling in a hat in this team since Greg Matthews? SHOULD HE? There’s got to be a case for it. Every time the camera does a close up my heart breaks a touch. Remember his barnet? Remember his Trent Bridge Barnet? Wiping it from his eyes with a smile and a shrug after that famous debut hand. He’s taken for singles to bookend this over, but three come between times via byes. Neither are easy takes; one spun big (again), the other went through low (again). Even so, 14 of those bad boys on the card now.
64th over: Bangladesh 209-6 (Hossain 7, Mehedi 5)
Hossain hasn’t faced a ball since Mehedi rocked up, so when he gets a chance goes for a dance. Back over Lyon’s head. That’ll do. I’ve said it a few times today, but 300 was loads in Pune. There are similarities out there. Promise
63rd over: Bangladesh 204-6 (Hossain 2, Mehedi 5)
Agar’s turn to tighten the screws, keeping Mehedi honest throughout for his first maiden of the day.
There's no legal way to watch the Bangladesh-Australia Test series in the UK - embodies terrible organisation of the sport
62nd over: Bangladesh 204-6 (Hossain 2, Mehedi 5)
Lyon races through a 60 second over, Mehedi keeping the strike with a push to cover. All very formulaic.
61st over: Bangladesh 203-6 (Hossain 2, Mehedi 4)
New man Mehedi immediately off the mark with a boundary. Wide and cut. Nice one ro get first up. He can bat a bit, the 19-year-old prodigy. Agar has one jump to finish, beating Wade’s gloves for another bye. But it keeps the new guy up the business end for Lyon’s next over, so that’s not a bad result for the visitors. Oh and the Mehedi boundary brings up the Bangladesh 200 as well.
Despite coming down the track a little, it is still hitting in line and crashing into the top of middle stump. That’ll do, the captain is gone! And Ashton Agar has his first Test wicket for what must be the better part of 1500 days. It’s big too, the skipper has had his best year yet, getting his runs before today in 2017 at 80-odd with a couple of tons. But not to be today.
LBW! REVIEW! Agar gets Mushfiqur but we’re going upstairs! Stand by...
Growing in confidence, Hossain uses the crease to take a single to point, Mushfiqur grabs one to midwicket. He tries again but miscues. No damage done.
Agar beats Mushfiqur on the back foot with one that shoots. Taken well by Wade. But he keeps his cool, leaning back on the next, cutting through the gap in front of backward point. Four for that. Played. Agar’s turn to bounce back though, throwing in a quicker delivery that the skipper nearly doesn’t get down on. Would have been all over had his bat not arrived in time.
Spin twins it is. Lyon to Hossain. He’s comfortable on the front foot, the offie happy to keep him there. Three catchers, including a leg-slip. Gets one to bite back hard, as he has throughout the day. Sound restart from him.
In the last 10 Tests hosted in Bangladesh, 387 is the average first innings total of the match #BanvAus
Important little stint after tea coming up for Agar to build some confidence. With his height, should be able to cause some trouble on a track that’s bouncing plenty for the twirlers. He’s tidy enough here, singles to both.
We’re back. Nicely set up for the final session. How you seeing it? Drop me a line. Agar has the ball again after a long time without. Play.
Probing. Men around the bat; four of them. Bringing the new man Hossain forward, pushing him back. This is class. All the men in lids getting a go retrieving the ball. Two to come before the break. Nice straight bat. And again. That’s tea.
What they would give for the captain too before tea. Nearly so, the first of this Cummins set hitting the handle. Could have gone anywhere. The New South Welshman the man most likely to run through them here. Being called “Cummings” on the telly. Really happens more than it should. One more before tea. Lyon will bowl it.
There it is! Lyon does Shakib with another that turns significantly, this time the edge carries, Smith making no mistake at slip. And there, Lyon joins Richie Benaud on 248 Test wickets. What a remarkable story. Neither set man has gone onto three figures, which will hurt. Australia have the scent now. Which isn’t to detract from the Shakib innings, it was a beaut. But he’s on his way back.
Tennis ball bounce to say the least from Cummins first ball. A bouncer two feet over Shakib’s head. Loops to Wade. Wide ball. By contrast later in the over, one shoots low at the captain. Between times, he beats him with a beauty moving away from the bat. Pace up in the 140s throughout according to the speed camera. Working again, evidently. He oversteps with his last one. That’s not ideal. But, it’s worthwhile: another shout for LBW, another turned down. Missing leg.
Lyon on for Maxwell ater his successful five over stint. Not Agar, instructively - he still only has three overs on the clock. Bit odd, isn’t it? Partially explained by the huuuge spin Lyon seems to be getting once or twice every over he bowls today. This time it is beyond Wade who concedes byes but he is excused. That’s really gone. A couple of prods to cover add more runs to end the over.
How's Ashton Agar fallen out of favour already? #BANvAUS
Cummins on for Hazlewood. Good spell from the attack-leader. Immediately creates something, a leading edge. Doesn’t make the journey to mid-on. Four runs added in smaller currency through the over, patting Cummins without much of a concern.
Reverse sweep! As you do. Mushfiqur launches into it off Maxwell, but not convincingly struck. Only just clears the catching man on where the ODI circle would be. Four all the same. Well, intent clear.
Dangerous Hazlewood continues. Shakib takes the first straighter delivery to square leg for one. Inside edge of Mushfiqur located in the second half of the set, a bit of reverse again. Tries it on once more but the captain hits it with the meat of the bat this time, a couple to midwicket helping with confidence, no doubt.
Shakib off strike to the first ball, leaving it to the skipper. Maxwell gets one to jump big on him, hit on the glove for the second time in as many overs. Defends the rest, well forward. Maxwell right in the game here. Bowled more overs than Agar now. Won’t be lost upon Steve O’Keefe sitting at home, I’m sure.
Hazlewood fired up here. Hits Mushfiqur’s gloves and bounces just over the stumps! Bounces him in response to what might’ve been. Nips one back at his pads, the bat down just in time. Eventful maiden to the new man.
Joined by the right manfor the job in the skipper. His 30th Test in charge spanning six years. A bit of a joke that they’ve only played 30 Tests since 2011, but that’s for another time. These two put on a squillion at Wellington back in January from a similar scoreline. He’s off the mark with a single to midwicket to end the over and retain the strike.
There it is! The Big Show with the Big Breakthrough. For a bloke who wasn’t meant to get a bowl unless it was dire, he is in the book at a vital moment early in this contest. A huge chunk of spin from a shorter delivery, Tamim misjudges the cut. Probably done by the bounce, doesn’t follow through with the shot. At backward point is Warner, who takes the catch with ease. Oh, and Maxwell loves it. The end of a wonderful 155-run stand.
45th over: Bangladesh 165-3 (Tamim 71, Shakib 75)
I’m sitting next to The Australian’s Andrew Faulkner in the press box who is a long-suffering stumper for the Kensington District CC in the Adelaide grade comp (the club of The Don). He was squirming when Matt Wade, to the first ball after drinks, had a ball go through his gloves for four wides. Off Hazlewood, who squared up Tamim a beauty as well. Twitter is going to love that. Cold comfort: there wasn’t a feather on it. 150 stand up in the process. Later in the over big should for LBW. Hazlewood likes it a lot more than Umpire Llong, who reckons Shakib has hit it. It’s a good decision - there’s no pad at all. Replies in a way that angers the bowlers, taking a wider delivery on the up through cover for four. Nine off it, another big’un.
Very poor miss there from Matt Wade. Australia desperate for a breakthrough
44th over: Bangladesh 156-3 (Tamim 70, Shakib 71)
One more in before drinks. Maxwell again. And Tamim for the umpteenth time today going over cover. In complete control of that stroke, degree of difficulty always high. Rewared with his fifth boundary to go with three sixes - all in that cover region. Oh and then some brilliance, late cutting with supreme control past Smith at slip. So good. Dive from Smith, but well beyond him. Seven from it. Making 59 runs in the hour without losing a wicket. Superb from the hosts. Both men now into the 70s. Drinks.
43rd over: Bangladesh 149-3 (Tamim 63, Shakib 71)
Dropped catch! It’s Hazlewood in his follow-through, low and quick with just his right hand. It doesn’t stick. Tamim survives. The first chance of the session. Well bowled running the fingers over the seam. Great effort, but having got the hand there should have taken it.
42nd over: Bangladesh 148-3 (Tamim 62, Shakib 71)
Well, this is something. Glenn Maxwell. Now, I asked Smith before the Test what the deal is with The Big Show and why he can’t get on for a jam roll under his leadership. He replied by saying he reckons his spinners do the job well enough as it is, so he isn’t required. And he is here, inside half a day. Uneventful opening, patted back by Tamim, taking one down the ground when slightly overpitching. Makes them play throughout. Gives it a big rip as a rule, so could find something in this track.
41st over: Bangladesh 147-3 (Tamim 61, Shakib 71)
Hazlewood with his new shaved head getting another crack - maybe his fourth spell already today? - from the far end. But if the plan was to dry up runs it hasn’t worked, the board ticked over four times. Both batsmen profiting through the legside with measures strokes before Shakib launches into a full-blooded hook shot! Lyon nearly got there with a huge dive, but it is four runs. Eight from it. Wonderful accumulation. Pressure building by the over on Australia.
40th over: Bangladesh 139-3 (Tamim 60, Shakib 63)
Boom. Boom. After Tamim grabs his 23rd Test half-century he gets stuck into Cummins at the other end of the other. A magnificent clip through midwicket comes first, no one stopping that. A drive through cover that’s just as classy for the same result. A couple more to the non-posh side to finish. 12 from it. This partnership becoming a big problem for Australia. I remind you again: Australia made 300 in Pune and it was loads. Doesn’t look quite a violent as that, but it’s the best available reference point based on the bite Nathan Lyon has found so far. As for Tamim, having to watch all that nonsense around him earlier. He was hands on hips after the Imrul edg, clearly filthy. He’s now gone through the 50s in the space of an over. Probably a gag there about Ike and JFK but I can’t locate it.
39th over: Bangladesh 127-3 (Tamim 49, Shakib 63)
Tasty cut from Shakib when Lyon misses his length, beats the sweeper and into the rope. Into the 60s. Having a golden year with the blade, a double ton in New Zealand to start the year (albeit in a loss, after he got them back in it from 4-for-sod all) then a ton in their win at Colombo in his most recent Test. A glorious century too against the Kiwis in the Champions Trophy to pull off a wonderful chase after a slew of early wickets. He’s probably the form player in the world at the moment to come in at 10-for-3 as he did this morning, come to think of it.
38th over: Bangladesh 123-3 (Tamim 49, Shakib 59)
Cummo again (they seriously call him that) to Rowdy Shakib Al Hasan. He moves from shot of a length to full, encouraging a pair of drives down the ground, both cut off by Warner. A single to point off the back foot when he drops back again. Cat and mouse. Good cricket.
37th over: Bangladesh 122-3 (Tamim 49, Shakib 58)
Garry-Garry Lyon to Shakib. I wonder what 90s footballer he gets nicknamed after? ‘Rowdy’ Gavin Brown? I’m going to drop the most insaaaane 90s football / Bangladesh trivia question on you at tea. Be ready for it. After all the runs, they’ve put it away for the last couple. Stands to reason. A flick for one all he bothers with other than the forward defence.
36th over: Bangladesh 121-3 (Tamim 49, Shakib 57)
Patrick Cummins back into the attack from the broadcast end. I’m sure it has another name. One thing at a time. He was sensational this morning. Good grief he’s a joy to watch when going like that. They didn’t have a proper speed gun in operation on the telly, which was a shame, because he was every bit as quick as he was on day two at Ranchi back in March, where he must have been 95mph in the old money in India with it about 39 degrees (new money) outside. Anyway, making them play. Hitting high on the bat. Standard. Shakib gets the slightly shorter one away behind point for a single.
35th over: Bangladesh 120-3 (Tamim 49, Shakib 56)
Ot totally ignore me and go inside-out over extra cover taking Lyon over the rope for a third time! Then charge him again to clobbber over midwicket! Consecutive balls, the crowd chanting TAMIM so persuasively that I want to take the laptop out there and join then in the beating sun. All of a sudden, one short of a half-century. 100 stand up in all that as well. Go you good things, go.
34th over: Bangladesh 109-3 (Tamim 39, Shakib 55)
Oh, another Agar stumble? Looked it, through him at mid-on. Only one the damage this time. Shakib grabs a tuck to midwicket to the penultimate delivery. And Tamim flays at one he should have left to end it. Legit play and miss off the back foot. Cool your jets, man. Bat all day. For goodness sake, bat all day.
33rd over: Bangladesh 107-3 (Tamim 38, Shakib 54)
Lyon operating around the wicket to Shakib. Oh and he stays there when one is turned into four at backward point, Ashton Agar having one go through him. You do not see that from the young West Aussie who is a demon in the field. Bit of first-day-back nerves, or something like that. Lyon continues to mix his pace up well. He’ll bowl a lot worse for more wickets than so far today. Indeed, he has. It’s the spinners’ way.
Australia about to learn that Shakib is legit. #BANvAUS
32nd over: Bangladesh 103-3 (Tamim 38, Shakib 50)
Big Josh Hazlewood does his ever-so-accurate thing again, this time at Tamim. A timely maiden after a whole lot of runs before the break and steady accumulation thereafter.
31st over: Bangladesh 103-3 (Tamim 38, Shakib 50)
Lyon now back to replace Agar. Smith adopting the philosophy of throwing it around to break up a partnership. Turned it square routinely early on, did the man they call Garry. Comparisons to Pune seem apt. There, 300 in the first innings was ample. Not for nothing with Bangladesh already into three figures just after lunch. He ties up Shakib on the back foot cutting too close to his body. Lucky he got down in time.
30th over: Bangladesh 102-3 (Tamim 37, Shakib 50)
Josh Hazlewood to replace Lyon, running away from us at the broadcast end. Tamim driving once more for a couple out to cover. Completely at ease here. Oh, as I say that, he’s edging a probing delivery. Albeit with soft enough hands to land short of Renshaw at slip. Hundred up with the aforementioned Tamim stroke, as well.
Thanks JP. Adam Collins with you here for the rest of the day, live from the press box at Dhaka. Will come to the wonders of this tour as we go through the afternoon and evening sessions. For now, the cricket is pulsating. Agar has the first after the break and Tamim is back driving from the get go, rotating the strike to the sweeper at point. That there is a sweeper at this stage speaks volumes about the home side’s second hour. Later in the set, cutting hard behind point, Shakib moves to 50. What a fine hand it has been from the world’s top-ranked all-rounder. Both of these men are in their 50th Test today and have joined at a dreadful position at 10-for-3. Drawing on all their experience, they are doing a mighty job of dragging their side right back into this.
While he’s at the crease, why not tuck into Tim Wigmore’s profile of the dashing Shakib Al Hasan.
And that brings a very entertaining session to a close.
After winning the toss Bangladesh crumbled to 10-3 with Pat Cummins obliterating the home side’s top order with raw pace. But once Shakib Al Hasan joined Tamim Iqbal at the crease the match changed. The pair have counterattacked beautifully, adding 86 on a difficult surface to leave matters delicately poised.
28th over: Bangladesh 96-3 (Tamim 33, Shakib 48)
As if to prove the point Lyon gets one to leap on Shakib with a puff of dust floating off the pitch. Again there’s no chance resulting for the unlucky bowler.
In the last 10 Tests hosted in Bangladesh, 387 is the average first innings total of the match #BanvAus
27th over: Bangladesh 92-3 (Tamim 30, Shakib 47)
Agar not finding the same revs, turn or bounce as Lyon from the same end. His height and loop spinning into those footmarks looks dangerous though. The settled pair happy to prop forward smother any danger and accept the odd single that becomes available.
26th over: Bangladesh 90-3 (Tamim 29, Shakib 46)
Change of ends for Lyon but he has the misfortune of watching Tamim unfurl the shot of the day so far, an enormous six inside-out over cover. Such a free swing of the bat and sumptuous timing.
25th over: Bangladesh 79-3 (Tamim 23, Shakib 42)
Big moment for Ashton Agar as he’s brought into the attack for his first bowl in Test cricket since 2013.
24th over: Bangladesh 72-3 (Tamim 20, Shakib 38)
Bangladesh looking to counterattack Cummins as he delivers his eighth over, Shakib in particular plays a big swing and a miss before pulling for a single. The over ends with the star allrounder almost chopping on as he again attempts to fashion runs from a delivery cramping him for room around the top of off stump.
23rd over: Bangladesh 69-3 (Tamim 19, Shakib 37)
Not a lot to report from that Lyon over. No big spitters and only the one attempt from Shakib to hit the bowler off his length, and that’s fielded well by Maxwell at extra cover.
22nd over: Bangladesh 68-3 (Tamim 19, Shakib 37)
There’s that extra bounce again from Cummins, rapping Shakib on his bottom hand, but the batsman played it well to avoid the ball flying to the cordon. The rest of the over is on Bangladesh’s terms with singles worked into the on-side to keep the scoreboard ticking over.
21st over: Bangladesh 65-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 36)
Exciting over, and one with no luck whatsoever for Nathan Lyon.
20th over: Bangladesh 59-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 30)
Cummins returns to the attack in place of Hazlewood. He’s back on that shortish length aiming for the splice but there’s not the venom of his opening spell and this pair at the crease are now settled and able to ride the bounce or duck out of the way. Tamim in particular is presenting a classically straight bat to his solid defensive strokes.
19th over: Bangladesh 56-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 27)
Lyon finally finds an edge at the beginning of his seventh over but it’s a thick one that squirts safely wide of the slips.
18th over: Bangladesh 55-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 26)
50 for Bangladesh, brought up by two men playing their 50th Tests for their country.
Bowlers with three wickets before 4th over of a Test since 2000:
Irfan Pathan v PAK, 2006 Stuart Broad v AUS, 2015 PAT CUMMINS #BANvAUS
17th over: Bangladesh 48-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 19)
Lyon’s overs have adopted a pattern. Three or four standard full deliveries dabbed back on the front foot interspersed with the occasional grenade. And it is a spectacular sight when one takes off, spitting into Wade’s gloves somewhere around his left ear. Again this over both batsmen are lucky to escape deliveries that turn and bounce - unfortunately for Lyon probably doing too much.
16th over: Bangladesh 45-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 16)
This is interesting. Hazlewood does what Hazlewood does and beats the outside edge of Tamim’s bat with some nice movement off the seam. Tamim responds by advancing down the track next delivery to try and unsettle the bowler’s length.
This pitch in Dhaka is very close to the one Aus got in Pune. The soil is loose and the turn will become unpredictable. #BANvAUS
15th over: Bangladesh 44-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 15)
Finally a run! Shakib squirts a single into the leg side to end a run of 27 dot balls. Otherwise a tight over from Lyon to restart play after drinks.
So, an hour into the first day of the first of two Tests and Australia hold the upper hand. After winning the toss Bangladesh struggled against the pace of Pat Cummins, staggering to 10-3, but since then Tamim Iqbal and Shakib Al Hasan have steadied the ship.
The pitch is playing truly for the seamers but there’s steepling bounce for Nathan Lyon, and no little turn on occasion. Plenty of excellent cricket while the rain remains no immediate threat.
14th over: Bangladesh 43-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 14)
The runs have dried up for Bangladesh with Hazlewood and Lyon bowling in tandem. After the frenetic start just one run has been scored in the past four overs with Smith sure to be telling his troops during the drinks break to join those dots until they spell W.
52 Tests, 6,996 runs, an average of 99.94.#OnThisDay in 1908, cricket's greatest ever batsman, the one and only Sir Don Bradman was born. pic.twitter.com/TZcA54wvAZ
13th over: Bangladesh 43-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 14)
Lyon again finding prodigious bounce from one or two deliveries per over. Shakib and Tamim are chasing them too, looking to score off length because anything full is just being patted back to the bowler. Twice Shakib looks like he might have offered a chance to Wade but on both occasions the bounce beat his outside edge.
12th over: Bangladesh 43-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 14)
Cummins’ superb five over spell concludes with Hazlewood back into the attack. And it’s a typical Hazlewood over, finding his groove after the change of ends and almost luring Tamim into a soft dismissal, the opener swishing and missing at a wide half-volley.
11th over: Bangladesh 43-3 (Tamim 17, Shakib 14)
Lyon probing from around the wicket to the left-handers, searching for that extra bounce around off stump but throwing in the occasional quicker one at the pads. One absolute belter just misses Shakib’s off stump. Good signs for Lyon as he chases Richie Benaud’s Test wicket haul.
10th over: Bangladesh 42-3 (Tamim 16, Shakib 14)
Cummins continues to charge in and continues to cause issues with his extra bounce. Shakib again trying to get forward but being surprised by a length ball that clips his glove but loops and dies well short of second slip.
Pitch exploding a little. Lots of footmarks already developed. Australia's made early impression with Cummins. I ❤️ Test cricket #BanvAus
9th over: Bangladesh 36-3 (Tamim 15, Shakib 9)
Oooh, bounce and turn for Lyon against Tamim, the bounce in particular exploding off the surface. A couple of unplayable deliveries there but both from short of a length giving the batsman time to get his bat out of the way. Can he find that assistance on a good length?
8th over: Bangladesh 34-3 (Tamim 13, Shakib 9)
Cummins is still creating chances. Shakib this time going after one that was a bit quicker than expected but his thick edge flies over the cordon for four. Apart from that miscue, this pair look pretty comfortable at the crease now, even against Cummins’ extra bounce.
7th over: Bangladesh 28-3 (Tamim 12, Shakib 4)
Nathan Lyon into the attack early on with two left-handers at the crease. Not the most auspicious start though with four byes down the leg-side to a delivery that failed to turn or bounce. Tamim then opens his shoulders and launches Lyon miles into the Dhaka sky and away for six. That was a glorious stroke of pure abandon.
6th over: Bangladesh 18-3 (Tamim 6, Shakib 4)
Early indication of the class of Shakib Al Hasan, getting on top of a fraction of width from Cummins and guided to the third-man boundary. He looked to have all the time in the world to play that stroke, in contrast to the carnage Cummins has been responsible for.
No hat trick...
5th over: Bangladesh 14-3 (Tamim 6, Shakib 0)
Better from Bangladesh (well, it could hardly get worse, could it?). Tamim pulls Hazlewood hard for four. I’m not sure he’d go for the same stroke against Cummins, but it was controlled and well executed.
What’s happened here? Fast away swinging beauty from Cummins, Australia go up for the catch behind, and it’s given! Reviewed immediately by Sabbir Rahman, but ultra edge reveals a clear deviation and Cummins has his third! It looked as though the noise could have been bat hitting ground at the same time the ball passed, but that is salmon trout.
Incredible start by Australia.
If Hazlewood is targeting the top of off, Cummins is aiming for broken fingers. His slightly shorter length is really testing Bangladesh, hitting the upper portion of the bat hard, causing the battalion of close fielders to hop and grimace after each delivery.
But it’s the fuller one that does the trick! Half-volley length outside off, Imrul swings and feathers a nick that Wade does well to collect as it dies on him. Soft dismissal and Australia rampant!
3rd over: Bangladesh 10-1 (Tamim 2, Imrul 0)
Hazlewood’s found that line and length he inevitably finds, the one that stalks the top of off stump and gives the batsman no room to manoeuvre. The unexpected extra bounce has brought a short-leg into play but he’s not called on during a tight maiden.
2nd over: Bangladesh 10-1 (Tamim 2, Imrul 0)
Fantastic start by Australia and Pat Cummins. Pretty ordinary batting by Soumya Sarkar but terrific fast bowling nonetheless.
Pat Cummins shares the new ball with Hazlewood and he’s immediately more dangerous. With his extra pace and stronger action a length ball spits at Soumya, takes the shoulder of the bat but loops agonisingly over the cordon and away for four.
Not to worry, just two balls later he gets his man! Similar delivery, finds the shoulder of the bat and taken by Handscomb in gully.
1st over: Bangladesh 5-0 (Tamim 1, Soumya 4)
A very closely cropped Josh Hazlewood opens proceedings for Australia to the left-handed Tamim Iqbal. There’s decent carry for Hazlewood but Timam uses it to his advantage to nurdle the first runs of the series in front of square on the leg side.
Players are on the way out and the first ball of the series is seconds away.
Ed Rainsford’s pitch report highlights how dry the surface is with cracks already visible. Batting last is expected to be tough but so will the first hour or so with the new ball in muggy conditions. An excellent tussle in prospect.
As always, feel free to get in touch, it’s much more fun when you do. The easiest method is Twitter - @JPHowcroft - but email can work too.
It would be remiss to go any further without mentioning the weather. Rain is expected in Dhaka throughout the Test match, with a very real possibility no result will be achieved.
The forecast for today is hot (around 30C), humid (85% humidity) and wet, with the afternoon session in particular at risk of a downpour or two. We are in monsoon season, so I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised.
It’s subcontinental pitch cliche time again. Some other Australian outlets have selected the word ‘minefield’ for use in their headlines to describe a typically Bangladeshi 22-yard track that, unless it conforms specifically to Australian preconceptions of a ‘good’ pitch (whatever that means) is either explicitly, or implicitly dodgy.
Steve Smith was more diplomatic during the week with the predictable and sage suggestion that “it’ll be pretty slow and take some spin, particularly as the game goes on.” More interestingly, Smith added: “I think they had some practice on that wicket a week or so ago, so it’s been used,” indicating a more worn surface than might otherwise be expected.
To borrow the words of Adam Collins - Bangladesh go in with three spinners. They’ve left out local speed machine Taskin Ahmed in favour of Shafiul as the second seamer.
Adam’s doubly disappointed because: “I went to his parents’ house yesterday and got to see the cow they are going to sacrifice for Eid later in the week.”
After losing five tosses in a row Mushfiqur Rahim calls correctly and his side will have first use of a pitch expected to help his spinners from the off.
Good afternoon everybody and welcome to live coverage of the first day’s play of Australia’s two-Test tour of Bangladesh.
Where would you like to head for context? Let’s begin with this being Australia’s first Test series against Bangladesh in 11 years (or 4178 days). Just dwell on that for a moment. There are only ten Test playing countries and two of them have avoided each other in the time it took Mitchell Johnson to debut, terrorise batsmen throughout the world, and retire. It is a damning indictment on cricket’s administrators - Australia’s in particular - that so little has been done to support the development of the game in its most obvious growth market.
Jonathan will be here shortly. In the meantime, have a read of Adam’s series preview:
Over-by-over report: England lead West Indies by two runs at the end of a brilliant third day at Headingley, with Joe Root on 45
Wow, well this is tantalisingly poised, isn’t it?
England lead by two runs, with seven wickets in hand, Root at the crease, and the best of their batting to come, arguably. Windies had a fine day, but dropped Root and dropped their levels in the last hour as Root and Malan put on 77 in 20 overs. A word for Mark Stoneman, who played a fine, battling maiden Test 5o, but it was a day to forget for Tom Westley, who will nervously await the announcement of the squad for Lord’s.
Brian Withington poses a vital question:
Glorious Bank Holiday OBO Monday in prospect. A full day’s gripping test cricket and the start of Essex’s late season push for the summit in the County Championship. Who needs flavoured drinks?
Obviously one doesn’t do the thyme alcohol once! Well, once a week, that way there is always a stock to see through T20, Tests, divorces, PTA meetings anything. It is basically medicinal.
59th over: England 171-3 (Root 45, Malan 19) Is this going to be the last over of the day? Probably, because Gabriel starts with a wide over Root’s head. And then another, which runs away for four. Dowrich couldn’t get anywhere near it. England trail by just 2. And now a no-ball, which is squirted away by Root for one! So the scores are level, England already have eight from the over, and that over is yet to produce a legal delivery. Confusing.
The next is legal, and left outside off by Malan. Penultimate ball of the day takes England into the leave, with a straight driven two for Malan. The last ball is a dot, and that is stumps. It all started with two wickets in two balls ends with a 10-run, nine-ball, eight-minute over from Gabriel.
58th over: England 161-3 (Root 44, Malan 19) Bishoo! Be still my beating heart! He got Root in the first innings. Root cover drives for one, then Bishoo drags down and Malan wallops him for four through midwicket.
57th over: England 156-3 (Root 43, Malan 15) Gabriel is coming back for one last burst in the gloaming. Maximum three overs he’ll get, probably just two. Root guides him for four down to third man first ball. Since taking 21 to get off the mark, he has 42 from 53. What a player. Oh, Bishoo is warming up! Root pinches the strike with a single to deep point. Why’s there a deep point? What’s the, err, point?
John Starbuck reads my mind. I was just thinking oof Vodka and Thyme as a detective show involving a Russian woman.
Vodka & Thyme, a new TV detective show, starring a retired (disguised) James Bond and a woman who isn’t twenty years younger. Lots of action in strange bars.
56th over: England 151-3 (Root 38, Malan 15) Bishoo is getting sledged by the Western Terrace, but he really should be bowling. Just one over for him so far. Holder continues. Root takes one to Bishoo off the inside edge, then Holder drops short, Malan tries to cut but it runs away from him and through the cordon for a bye off Dowrich’s glove and through first slip’s legs. Root drives past gully for one, then Malan tickles fine for two. Good stop on the fence prevents two more.
Writes Damian Clarke, of Vodka and Thyme:
Hi. Sounds nice, but wait three months ? Three ‘kin months?! I’m guessing Tone White is not a fan of T20.
55th over: England 146-3 (Root 36, Malan 13) Chase looks so much better when he bowls straight to Malan. There’s turn out wide but he can leave it. The 50 stand comes up when one pitches in the footmarks, stays down, and nutmegs Dowrich for four byes. 23 behind...
Patrick Nagle has some disgusting suggestions.
Once, many moons ago (circa 1986) I was on the waggon on a Grey Funnel Line ship on route from Gib to Guz. So having tried multiple variations of everything unalcoholic.... There are only two I remember a) Coke and tomato juice. Don’t. Just don’t. Think about it. If you don’t twig then think about it for longer. But trust me. Don’t. b) Coke and Tobasco (you only need two or three drops). When my wife bans me from drinking, that will be my refuge.
54th over: England 142-3 (Root 36, Malan 13) He’s round the wicket to Malan, hits him on the pad but S.Ravi says no. Looks like it’s going down. After a long delay ... he reviews. No bat. It’s hitting the stumps but, inevitably, not by enough, and it’s umpire’s call. There’s a single for each of the batsmen and Holder ends the over bowling over the wicket to Malan again, and there’s another bye. England are 28 behind, and there are 22 minutes left today.
Tone White is a man of simple pleasures. He writes, of drinking:
Very simple. Soak an armful of thyme in a bucket of decent vodka. For three months. Strain well, add cane sugar syrop to taste. Drink cold. Or warm.
53rd over: England 139-3 (Root 35, Malan 13) Chase starts aiming at the stumps to Malan, and that’s just better. Brings so many dismissals into play. Then he goes wider and is punched for one to the man in the deep. Over ends with two byes.
52nd over: England 136-3 (Root 35, Malan 11) Holder, having bowled brilliantly earlier, is looking tired. Malan gets a single, then Root glances fine for four.
But now Root’s been struck on the pad and up goes the finger! Root is gone for 35! Looks out. But he’s reviewed straight away! Has he hit this?! No, he hasn’t, but it’s going down, and Root is reprieved! Holder’s angle wide on the crease what done it. He can’t believe it. The rest of the over is uneventful.
Two adults and two kids for £40 at Headingley tomorrow. Sensible pricing a big deal for Test cricket. Deserves a full house!
51st over: England 131-3 (Root 31, Malan 10) Just a single from Chase’s over, taken through midwicket by Malan.
Matt Farrow responds to Kimberley Thonger in style...
Interesting factoid from Kimberly, but she’ll have to do better than that to put me off my negroni. If I went on Mastermind it would be my specialist subject, if I wasn’t too pissed to get onto that chair. I had omitted to mention choice of gin (again, your Gordons of this world won’t cut it). May I recommend Tanqueray 10, Geranium, or Warner Edwards (botanical garden)?
50th over: England 130-3 (Root 31, Malan 9) Newsflash: Root is good at the batting. He flicks Holder through square-leg for four, his seventh boundary.
News from #TeamEngland about the injury Stoneman bravely battled through earlier.
Bit before your time, but this innings is reminding me a bit of some of the two runs an over grinds against West Indies in the 1980s. Even when England avoided a clatter of wickets they often seemed to be facing the second new ball with no more than 200 on the scoreboard. And then came the clatter! Of course the excuse then was that you had four superb quicks in rotation bowling no more than half way down the track ...
49th over: England 126-3 (Root 27, Malan 9) It’s a fiver for kids at Headingley tomorrow, says Bumble, As Malan leaves Chase. £15 for adults too. How good! Malan gets a single off what might generously be termed an arm ball, then Root takes one through square-leg. A theoretical 16 overs remain, England are 43 behind.
Simon McMahon is remembering being pissed.
Shout out (Guardian style) to the malt whisky distilleries in Scotland. Most conduct tours and give you a nip at the end. I once leaned over and stuck my head in one of the stills and was nearly knocked out by the fumes. Bartender, I’d like a Manhattan please.
48th over: England 124-3 (Root 26, Malan 8) Holder brings himself back. Bowled superbly earlier, did Big Jase. He overpitches and Root just leans him through the covers for four of the sexier runs you’re likely to see. Takes the deficit beneath 50. Root waited 21 to get off the marks has 22 in 28 since. That’s him. Oh, and there’s four more. Too wide, a bit short, and cut behind square for four.
Kimberley Thonger’s off on a tangent, and there’s a twist in the tail end of the tale.
Matt Farrow is clearly a man who knows his aperitif from his elbow. So it will be no surprise to him that wormwood is not only a key ingredient but also is the original gin of the word vermouth.
But does he know that Shakespeare had another use for it, entirely unrelated to cricket, which seems to have gone by the wayside anyway.
47th over: England 116-3 (Root 18, Malan 8) Chase is going over the wicket to Malan, which is curious. Takes out lbw, and brings in the leave, you’d think. Malan gets right across and dinks one down to fine leg for two. Good thinking.
46th over: England 114-3 (Root 18, Malan 6) Roach is haring in and pinging it down from wide on the crease. The only runs from a real effort over come when Root flicks nicely through square leg for four nice runs. Might be the end of Roach. England are 55 behind.
John Withington is fed up with dropped catches, but feeling a bit light-headed.
I’m wondering if this test match has delivered a new high (or low) in dropped catches. Some absolute beauties so far. I’m thinking I could still have bagged most of those, at 50 odd years of age and with several rums, and tings, inside me!
45th over: England 110-3 (Root 14, Malan 6) This over from Chase begins with a delay because Malan has a fly in his eye. There are two slips waiting and the ball is turning. He pulls out of a cut because of turn and bounce, then defends firmly. Another cut finds point, and it’s a maiden.
44th over: England 110-3 (Root 14, Malan 6) Dropped! Oh no. Root fences hard at Roach and gets a thick edge to Kyle Hope in the gully. It’s powerful but straight at him! Straight out, too. Should have been taken. He had 10 then, but 14 by the end of the over. Those four came from a lovely cover drive. Roach didn’t even really overpitch.
43rd over: England 106-3 (Root 10, Malan 6) England will be relieved to see Chase coming on after their drink. Not cos he’s pony, but because the Windies seamers have been quite so good. They’d probably rather face him than Bishoo, too (apparently he has a headache). Malan cuts to the man at point but they scramble one, then Root turns to deep square leg for another. Chase ends the over by hanging it too wide of off-stump to Malan.
Toby Sims is suggesting I drink tequila for fun!
Completely agree with Matt Farrow on Rum and Falernum, a staple. I’m surprised no-one has mentioned Ting and tequila (let’s use something nice like Ocho or Herradura). Great for a sunny day like today....
Given the angle of our conversations on the OBO, it’s probably appropriate that it’s ... drinks.
Both Matt Farrow and John Withington are objecting to Simon McMahon’s Negroni. Writes Matt:
A negroni is equal parts gin, campari and red vermouth (and yes, ice). There is actually a fourth ingredient which is essential: orange peel squeezed on top after it’s mixed. Amateurs use that big bottle of Martini Rosso that’s been at the back of the drinks cabinet for a couple of years. May I recommend Antica Formula Carpano vermouth or Punt e Mes vermouth for a poncey but extremely tasty variation?
Intermission - Just thought I’d give a shout out to that old stalwart, tap water. Much maligned, often overlooked, but always there when you need it for a fraction of the cost of anything that comes in a bottle. And now back to the Ting....
42nd over: England 104-3 (Root 9, Malan 5) Root handsomely flicks Roach to fine-leg for one, then Malan – with four slips waiting – hooks for one. 100 up! And then more runs! Root guides a backfoot punch, played very late, through backward point. Four. A couple of plays and misses to the moving ball end the over. Careful.
John Withington is now a bit pissed, but he’s still raising good points.
I’m just starting to sense the folly in the plan of t(ry)ing various Caribbean cocktail mixers. So, the Ting, yeah it’s ok. Bit of Lilt thing with less pineapple flavour. Meanwhile .... isn’t the law that part of the foot needs to be behind the line. So, surely the burden of proof lies with the bowling side. There was no proof there of it being a legal delivery surely!
41st over: England 98-3 (Root 4, Malan 4) Have to say, I love the way DI Gower says Malan. Mulaaaarrrn. Anyway, Dawid is off the mark with a lovely drive through mid-off off Gabriel. Later in the over there’s an appeal for caught behind, but only really from the lads in the cordon. It’s not that convincing, but ultraedge is suggesting there might be something there ...
Matt Farrow is combining the cricket and the cocktails...
I wonder if anyone has mentioned Root beer: it’s alright most of the time, but not very fizzy. Corn ‘n’ oil is a good rum staple, by the way - a simple mix of rum, lime and falernum (which sounds like a victorian poison but is a great rum mixer). Tastes even better with a champagne/prosecco top...
40th over: England 94-3 (Root 4, Malan 0) The man in the gully is doing very nicely. He saves four from Root again and the pressure builds further. It’s been a superb hour or two either side of tea from the Windies, and England can’t wait for the spinners to come on. This is a maiden from Roach...
Simon McMahon has combined cocktails and drink factories. Very clever:
The Spritz is king in Venice, where I was this summer. But if it’s drinks factories you’re after look no further than Campari in Milan and Martini in Turin. Add gin, ice and a wedge of orange and you have the king of cocktails, the Negroni. Joe Root might need one tonight.
39th over: England 94-2 (Root 4, Malan 0) What a ball that was. And what a passage of play from the Windies. England are still 75 behind and have two new batsmen at the crease, one of whom is vulnerable, Malan. Gabriel goes straight back to the yorker for him, but he digs it out. He survives the over.
Christian Miners has a quite superb suggestion, which I will be trying with some (although not too much, I have work to do first) haste.
Ting is nice with rum, but utterly magical with pineapple gin. Turbocharged Lilt for grownups.
Funnily enough I picked up some Ting for the first time today along with the Old Jamaica variants. Give me a minute and I’ll rustle something up. Agreed on the Wray & Nephew. I also have Plantation overproof but you need to use sparingly. I think Myers Jamaican dark rum is the baby for the Ting and will report back shortly. Just need to go behind the bar to the commercial grade Japanese ice machine that’s been wurring away all afternoon!
Gabriel loves a yorker. His first ball to Stoneman for a while is dug out nicely. The next is a no ball! But then he finds a beauty that goes through Stoneman and bowls him! From round the wicket it, angles in, nips away, and takes the top of off. But is this one a no-ball? It’s blooming close. So close. But the finger goes up! That’s seriously close.
38th over: England 93-2 (Stoneman 52, Root 4) A run! Finally. Stoneman’s pull to fine leg breaks a sequence of five maidens, but just gets him one. So Roach to Root, then. The first beats him for pace and hits the pad but is always too high. But two balls later he’s away with a flick through midwicket for four! Took him 21 balls to get away. Wahoo!
Kimberly Thonger is not happy.
There seems to be a new OBO policy of encouraging groups of siblings (especially those called Withington) to contribute.
I should like to point out this is onlychildist and discriminatory. We siblingly disadvantaged children have rights too. I’m not sure what they are but after another couple of San Pellegrino based cocktails I’m very likely to call my lawyer to see if she knows. If I can remember her number by then. Hic.
37th over: England 88-2 (Stoneman 51, Root 0) Root is furious with himself. He’s tried to turn his 14th ball from Gabriel through midwicket. Feet don’t move, head’s not there, nor’s the ball, and he gets an edge. It falls just short of second slip. He’s been there half an hour without scoring. Can’t have often happened. A good stop in the gully keeps him on 0, and by the maiden over’s end, it’s 30 balls since a run has been scored. Great stuff from the Windies.
Paul Kavanagh jumps into the soft drink chat with an excellent shout.
Will, if you’re looking at drinking rum, then Ting is another mixer you should consider. Depends on the rum, though - fine for the usual suspects, but I’d avoid such insanity as Wray & Nephew’s Overproof. That’s just excessive.
36th over: England 88-2 (Stoneman 51, Root 0) Here’s another maiden, from Roach. That’s four on the spin. Stoneman being patient, and he found an outstanding leave in there, but had to defend most of them.
35th over: England 88-2 (Stoneman 51, Root 0) Gabriel starts with a belter to Root. There’s nothing for the skipper to hit, and it’s a maiden. By the end of that maiden, Root has faced 12 balls without scoring. The Western Terrace has built a big beer snake.
Peter Salmon is the latest to talk about a visit to a drinks factory. A lovely yarrrrn.
I grew up in Melbourne. When I was 13 I remember spending a week on a student exchange programme in a place called Cobram in northern Victoria, Australia. The father of the family I was staying with worked at an orange juice factory, as did most of the population of Cobram. I remember to this day him explain that the pith was removed from the juice as part of the juicing process, and then put back at the end, because ‘Australians like the pith in their juice’.
‘In England, however,’ he said soberly, ‘they leave it out, as the English prefer it that way.’ I remember the stunned silence of all the boys at this news. It was, I think, our first true encounter with practical cultural differences, and the strange ways of the Other... I still use it when trying to explain cultural relativity.
34th over: England 88-2 (Stoneman 51, Root 0) So England have indeed seen off Holder. His spell either side of tea was a quite brilliant 12-4-21-2. Roach replaces him. His is a tidy first over, but Stoneman is allowed to leave plenty, and it’s a maiden. The last is a bit of a brute, which he plays nicely to gully.
Brian’s brother John Withington is, unsurprisingly, extolling the virtues of a fine partner for rum.
Yep, San Pele make a fine range of grown up “sodas”. But for pure filth in a tin, look no further than the Old Jamaica selection of sugary treats. To be found in the Caribbean section of your local Sainsbury. Pineapple soda is the stand out, excellent with any rum, but also the “fruit punch”. Memories for me of a fortnight in Tobago a few years back with BBQs on deserted beaches. The Cream soda and Grape soda trot in a distant but still respectable place. I tried the grape with some spiced rum today. Dirty but acceptable.
33rd over: England 88-2 (Stoneman 51, Root 0) Root’s had to wait a while to face a ball, and his first is a yorker from Gabriel that he digs out. It’s a maiden, and an uneventful one otherwise.
Brian Withington’s brother has made a Caribbean cocktail! Here’s the link to it. Writes Brian: “A Caribbean Zombie based special, aka “Back from the Dead”, in honour of the miraculous revival of West Indian test cricket. Shame that he couldn’t work a San Pellegrino flavour into the mix but he always was a purist (apart from when opening the batting with me for the inappropriately named Hornchurch Athletic)“
32nd over: England 88-2 (Stoneman 51, Root 0) I’m not convinced I’ll type this that often, but England are trying to see off Holder here. Five good balls to Stoneman, but the sixth is too straight and Stoneman helps it down to fine leg for four! That takes him to his first Test half-century! 107 balls, and that’s his seventh four.
Anto Griffin with a wonderful revelation!
If you go to the San Pellegrino website, not only do you discover some bizarre flavour options that immediately become must-drinks, but also they have a web cam broadcasting live citrus groves in Sicily. For those who care, it seems like a lovely day on the slopes of Etna.
31st over: England 84-2 (Stoneman 47, Root 0) That might be the last we see of Westley for a little while. It was a skittish innings, at least since tea. Big drives, bad running. I love the guy, but that’s not a good look. Bishoo just gets one over. Gabriel back.
Gabriel bowls a wide one that Stoneman leaves, then a full toss that he flicks through midwicket for two. He pinches the strike at the end of the over, with a turn to long-leg for one.
Jesse’s knowledge of sugar related science is obviously sketchy. Every PROPER scientist knows that vodka neutralises sugar COMPLETELY. It’s like Rock Paper Scissors only with vodka and sugar instead of two of those items. I’m not sure what replaces the third item. Possibly ice, or perhaps just extra vodka.
30th over: England 81-2 (Stoneman 44) Having received one of the great let-offs, Westley gets two off Holder by guiding him through gully. There’s a misfield there too, and some dodgy communication from the batsmen. Calm down, lads.
Westley doesn’t calm down, though. He lets a couple go, then chases a wide one and nicks off! Holder has his second, and Westley is gone...
Roston Chase sounds like it should be a stately home in a Barbara Cartland novel, as in, e.g. “She trembled in anticipation as the Master of Roston Chase galloped his muscular stallion alongside her delicate palfrey...”
29th over: England 79-1 (Stoneman 44, Westley 6) Now then, time for the leggie. Devendra Bishoo comes on for the first time this innings, and he’s going round the wicket. Stoneman starts with a nice drive for two through point. He has five in two balls since hurting his pinkie. After a dot he cuts late for a fairly tight two, then edges short of slip with soft hands. He looks in some pain.
OH MY WORD HOW IS THIS NOT A RUN OUT? Stoneman cuts, and calls for two. It goes to Gabriel, who launches to the bowler’s end, but Westley hasn’t set off!!!!! Bishoo gathers near the stumps and has time to run to it and take the bails off but decides to shy, and misses! Westley gets home, but would have been out by a mile.
I think if I’d had 22 rums I’d be more than ready for an honorarium offering. Stand well clear, in fact.
28th over: England 73-1 (Stoneman 38, Westley 6) There’s more seam movement for Holder, and a gentle outside edge to gully from Stoneman encourages the skipper to put a second man in that region.
The next ball jags back and raps him on the left hand. Nearly plays on actually. It’s a brute and it looks like it might have broken Stoneman’s pinkie. Swelling straight away, and the physio is out there. Looks like he won’t retire hurt but is being taped up. He’s hard as nails, Stoneman. Off the physio goes after five mins or so, and Stoneman flicks Holder away for three through square leg. Well played. Westley leaves one, then off-drives nicely for two to finish a very long over.
I remember very clearly a visit to the Black Sheep Brewery in Masham, where the story was as much about the family rivalry as the beer itself. I also recall a trip to the Talisker Distillery on Skye. At the end of the tour, with the selection of different samples, my wife first learnt how to distinguish various single malts by taste alone. A happy day.
Holder, who has bowled a spell of 9-4-10-1 to get us underway. He’s going round the wicket to Stoneman.
No! No! No! Not six in a day, I have just purchased a six pack to be consumed over the course of, say, a week. My actual mum is a dentist, who would murder me if I had six whole San Pels in a day...
@willis_macp 6 San Pellegrino's in a day? That's 190-ish grams of sugar. I'm technically not your mom, but someone has to step in here
So we are not far off getting going again. Expecting some Bishoo soon, perhaps in tandem with Gabriel. England are still 101 behind. What a game it’ll be if they are, say, three down by the time they pass the Windies.
Brian Withington’s making me thirsty again by talking about his brother’s cocktail shed.
Talking of Men of Essex and drinks, my brother John (featured last week as co-scourge of the 1980s Essex League) does a very fine line in cocktails from his garden shed/shack. Indeed, you previously kindly linked to his commemorative “Basil Dolly” during the SA Lord’s Test. Apparently he has 22 Caribbean rums (enough for both teams) in said shack, and would take very little encouragement to produce another in honorarium offering. Any takers?
David Brown is questioning my powers of recall.
How can you ‘have a vague memory of going to the Perrier factory’? I have a vague memory of going to the Moss Side Brewery in the late 80s but as there was a free bar after the tour I think that is understandable.
As I crack open the first of my six San Pel Limone e Menta, I’m wondering something: is there a correlation between my relentless plugging of the sickly sweet Italian softies and them suddenly being available by the half-dozen in supermarkets? Almost definitely not, but I might try to get sponsored by them. I could be addicted.
A couple of emails suggesting they be mixed with booze...
Indeed! What a fascinating final session we have.
Well, cometh the hour @willis_macp cometh, well, these two, if they want some Ashes. They could take a leaf out of Windies book, frankly.
27th over: England 68-1 (Stoneman 35, Westley 4) Gabriel does return, over the wicket to the leftie Stoneman. And the first ball is edged in the gap for four! Lovely ball, but there was some element of control. The next ball is much straighter and hits the pad. Umpire says no. Pitched outside, surely? Holder reviews! There’s no bat, it’s hitting, but does indeed pitch outside. Stoneman survives.
Gabriel then bowls a wide, which persuades him to swap and bowl round the wicket. He’s right on the money from there, and Stoneman defends, then negotiates a decent 89mph yorker with a nudge to the legside. Westley leaves the last.
I do half and half Perrier and fruit juice, with ice - totally excellent for OBO following. They should try it at drinks. Zings you up no end.
26th over: England 62-1 (Stoneman 30, Westley 4) Holder to Westley, then, as Gabriel warms up. It’s a good over, and a maiden. Westley misses a pull and one come back at him and just misses off-stump as he leaves. The last is far more convincingly defended.
I was more talking about length than girth, but Chris Anderson raises a good point re the biggest first slip chat: “Didn’t Dwayne Leverock field at first slip for Bermuda?” He did. Of course he did.
25th over: England 62-1 (Stoneman 30, Westley 4) Chase goes over the wicket to the rightie Westley, who starts by turning a straight ball to leg for two. There’s a slip and a shirt leg but another catcher would be nice. Westley gets himself off strike by turning to leg, and Stoneman sees out the over.
24th over: England 59-1 (Stoneman 30, Westley 1) Holder now has every ball doing a bit. A few were questioning his place in the side going into this game, but he’s had a belting Test match. There’s a few leaves, and a couple of firm defences from Westley, who gets off the mark with a clothed turn to leg for one off the final ball.
More from Brian Withington:
The blood orange San Pellegrino is very popular in this household. If I had been drinking today, it would have been rather sobering to realise that you are younger than my eldest son! I think he was on my knee for much of the Gooch 1991 innings - it was indeed one of the truly great knocks in adversity. And distracted mid-sentence I see that Alastair sadly won’t be matching him this time. Maybe “young” Westley can step up to the great Men of Essex pantheon.
23rd over: England 58-1 (Stoneman 30, Westley 0) More Chase. I suggested that Holder is the biggest first slip I’ve seen. Richard Dennis suggests Freddie, but Holder is even larger than him. Chase’s over is good, with men round the bat. The first one is left by Stoneman but stays a bit low, and the second beats the bat. There’s turn! He’s leaving everything he can, and Dowrich is battling a bit behind the stumps. He drives the last, but straight to cover, and it’s another maiden.
22nd over: England 58-1 (Stoneman 30, Westley 0) Right, Wes, what you made of? Huge moment for him. He’s got one ball of a brilliant Holder over to survive. Three slips, gully. Left. Wicket maiden.
Should say, Bank Holiday Monday has so much cricket for you, all across the land. There’s this, for those near Headingley. Heaps of tickets available. But there’s also Champo cricket in London, Manchester and more! I’ll be helming county cricket - live! in the morning and for the next four days, so do join.
Careful, Alastair. Holder is round the wicket to him now too. He fences at one which he shouldn’t and very nearly nicks it. The next is a beauty that beats him all ends up outside off. But now he has his man! It’s a combo of those two earlier ones and he nicks through to Dowrich! It’s not a thick one, but he’s got to go! Big breakthrough for the Windies.
21st over: England 58-0 (Cook 23, Stoneman 30) Chase continues. Holder’s at first slip. Biggest first slip ever? Cook gets one off the inside edge, then Stoneman moves to 30 with a feathered turn down to fine leg for four. England trail by 111 at over’s end.
20th over: England 53-0 (Cook 22, Stoneman 26) Holder gets a look at Stoneman, then. He’s round the wicket, and making him play. It’s a maiden.
Good afternoon Brian Withington! He’s picking up a conversation we had on these pages last week.
After the surreal distractions of carefree Edgbaston evenings this match is proving to be a more serious challenge. No Sauvignon Blanc or Malbec guzzling for me today. Instead I’m nervously sipping a DC and willing our openers to channel the spirit of Graham Gooch’s glorious Headingley second innings against WI in 1991 ...
19th over: England 53-0 (Cook 22, Stoneman 26) Chase finds a beauty first. On off stump and rags past Stoneman’s outside edge. He gets himself off strike with a nudge to leg when the line straightens. Cook’s standing in front of the stumps and getting his bat right forward. But then Chase bowls a half-volley which he just caresses for two to the man on the fence at deep cover.
18th over: England 50-0 (Cook 20, Stoneman 25) Holder is dangling and angling it across Cook. More fifth or sixth than fourth stump line for the first ball. The fifth is on off stump and a thick inside edge goes into the legside for two to bring up the 50 stand! This pair’s first, and England’s second of the summer for the first wicket.
17th over: England 48-0 (Cook 18, Stoneman 25) Chase is into a pretty nice groove from round the wicket to the lefties. Cook gets four when he prods forward, opens the face it runs away through the gully. Fielder tries, and fails, to keep it in. He’s cutting next, but just for one. Two slips and a silly-point for Stoneman, who leaves one – his 24th dot on the spin – then drives for four past gully (bit edgy) to end that scoreless run.
16th over: England 39-0 (Cook 13, Stoneman 21) Just one from Holder’s over, and it’s Cook again, turning a single behind square when he strays on to his hip. Heard that one before.
Sidebar: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – if you don’t follow Worcestershire CCC on twitter, you should. Two zingers today:
Read all the latest news from New Road on Worcs CCC website in either the 'Home' or 'News' sections (click onto Menu for 'News')
New Worcs overseas signing Ravichandran Ashwin has 5.46 million twitter followers!
15th over: England 38-0 (Cook 12, Stoneman 21) Oh, Alastair. Be careful. Chase bowls a good over here, and it starts with a one that turns and takes Cook’s leading edge as he tries to turns through midwicket. Squirts in the air through cover and they run one. There’s another that turns on Stoneman later. If Chase is having fun, might not be far off a wee bitta Bishoo.
“Afternoon Will,” writes Simon McMahon. “Flicking through back issues of The Nightwatchman, as you do, on a Sunday, and found an article by some guy called Rob Smyth on the art of stonewalling. Excellent it was too. Still a long way to go, but I hope this Test goes the distance and the West Indies draw nine down.”
14th over: England 37-0 (Cook 11, Stoneman 21) Holder’s starting off against Cook. First three harmlessly drift outside off stump, and Cook’s not for nibbling. The fourth’s a touch shorter, though, and he drills it on the cut through backward point for four. Do not bowl there to A. Nathan Cook. Back to leaving thereafter, before he pinches the strike with a single into the legside off the last.
And like that, Smyth has a lovely bank holiday Sunday to enjoy! Will here, stepping into the chair (not the same chair) to guide you through the rest of the third day of what is shaping up to be an enthralling Test match. Rob mentioned this earlier, but it’s reminding me a fair bit of this one.
13th over: England 32-0 (Cook 6, Stoneman 21) Cook’s dead bat must look reasonably ominous to West Indies fans. He’s made six from 32 balls, with every defensive stroke and leave signalling his intention to go the distance. At the other end, Stoneman is beaten by a vicious delivery from Chase that spits out of the footmarks. It’s time for drinks, and for me to hand over to Will Macpherson. Thanks for your company, bye!
12th over: England 31-0 (Cook 5, Stoneman 21) This is a fairly dull passage of play, with each side waiting for the other to blink. England have reduced the deficit to 138.
11th over: England 30-0 (Cook 4, Stoneman 21) The offspinner Roston Chase comes on before Devendra Bishoo, perhaps with the two left-handers in mind. Cook drives to deep point for a single in an otherwise uneventful over.
10th over: England 29-0 (Cook 3, Stoneman 21) Jason Holder replaces Roach, who bowled a meh opening spell of 4-2-15-0. He beats Stoneman with consecutive deliveries, the first a beauty that swerves past the edge, and it’s a maiden. West Indies haven’t bowled that well but they at least have control of the scoreboard.
9th over: England 29-0 (Cook 3, Stoneman 21) Stoneman is very good on the drive and he produces another off Gabriel that goes through extra cover for three runs. He’s playing nicely and is into the twenties for the first time in his Test career. Cook then digs out a yorker. He has no interest in chasing runs at the moment.
8th over: England 25-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 18) This has been a scruffy start from Gabriel and Roach, with no consistency of line or length. Roach switches over the wicket to Stoneman, only to spray the ball hither and thither. A maiden.
7th over: England 25-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 18) Gabriel has started to bowl a few no-balls - or, rather, the umpire has started calling them after getting a tip-off from the third umpire. There were two in that over, both effort balls to Stoneman, who then plays an unwitting Natmeg for a single. He has 18 from 26 balls; Cook, who has his eyes on bed and breakfast, has two from 19.
6th over: England 22-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 17) Roach, from around the wicket, tries to tempt Cook with a series of wide, full deliveries. Cook ignores them with something resembling disdain. It’s a maiden, but not a good one.
5th over: England 22-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 17) Stoneman’s natural aggression should allow Cook to bat in a bubble, and at the moment he looks happy to just see off Gabriel and Roach’s new-ball spells.
“Isn’t this in fact an ideal situation for the three problem batsmen?” says David Hopkins. “There was talk before the series that runs would give a false sense of security. Well now they have a chance to make runs under pressure when the team needs it. Succeed and they’re on the plane.”
4th over: England 20-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 17) Stoneman gets a bit of width for Roach and punches a confident drive to the cover boundary. The next ball also invites the drive, and Stoneman accepts with another good shot through mid-off for four. It’s been a peaceful start to the innings for England, and Stoneman completes an excellent over with his third boundary. He has 17 from 17 balls.
3rd over: England 6-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 3) “Since you asked, the other classic drop was in a school first team match in 1976,” says Brian Withington. “The game was petering out towards a draw until late wickets brought us to the last over with three still needed. To mounting excitement we then reduced the opposition to nine down with one ball to face. With everyone round the bat, number 11 popped it up gently to silly mid on. At which point our otherwise heroic opening bowler contrived to fumble it three or four times. I swear that the ball hit the ground at the same time as the rest of us collapsed crying with laughter. We were still whimpering with mirth all the way back on the coach. Happy days.”
2nd over: England 3-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 1) Roach spears a yorker down the leg side to Stoneman, and Dowrich flies to his right like a superhero to save four byes. Great work. A quiet start to the innings, with no real swing or seam movement so far.
“That Stoneman spill sent me to check the fielding in this summer’s Tests,” writes our own Tim de Lisle. “The fringe batsmen aren’t even taking many catches – four between them in 16 appearances, the same as Moeen and far fewer than Stokes, Cook or Root. England really are an eight-man team at the moment.”
1st over: England 2-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 0) Shannon Gabriel charges into Alastair Cook, who walks a long way across to his first ball and is hit on the pad. There’s a token appeal for LBW but everybody knew it had pitched outside leg. Cook then gets off the mark with a clip for two. He made a mighty 162 in not dissimilar circumstances against New Zealand at Lord’s in 2015, and England surely need a significant score from him if they are to win this match.
“This run of new and failing batsman takes me back to the dark days of the 80s & 90s,” says David Brown. “We tried Roland Butcher, Geoff Cook, Chris Smith, Andy Lloyd, Paul Terry, Wilf Slack, Tim Curtis, Hugh Morris, Mark Lathwell and loads of others without success. I feel the introduction of Trescothick and Vaughan stopped this rot. Maybe Haseeb Hameed could be like them, unexceptional county batting but a stellar Test career.”
That wicket means the end of the session. West Indies have a very good lead of 169, having recovered admirably from the shock of losing wickets to the first two balls of the day. England have only ever won four Test matches after conceding such a big first-innings deficit, so this is going to be a fascinating afternoon. See you in half an hour.
Gabriel is out this time, trapped in front by Stokes. He reviewed it, purely because he was the last man, but replays showed it was hitting the top of leg stump.
Shannon Gabriel is given not out on review. He was given out, caught in the gully fencing at a Stokes bouncer, but replays showed it hit him straight on the shoulder.
126th over: West Indies 427-9 (Roach 6, Gabriel 10) Woakes continues, to no great effect, with one delivery slipping down the leg side for four byes. I’m pretty surprised Jimmy Anderson hasn’t been brought back to end the nonsense.
“OBO writers sign a pledge of civic and cricketing responsibility, do they not?” says Robert Wilson. “If you’re not careful, you’ll end up standing dejected in a square of disapproving colleagues as they nip off your buttons and turn their disappointed backs. You have lost your way. ‘Maybe he could swear at an old lady in the queue at Waitrose.’ (110th Over). Oh yeah? A high-risk hostage to fortune, that. No word of a lie, I once saw that very gambit played out by a tipsy cloud of bad boys in a supey queue in Dublin, irritated by the dilatory old biddy in front of them. So they said something unforgiveable. General unease, some fear and utter silence. Until said dame turned to them and said ‘Why don’t you go suck a bag of dicks?’. It’s not every old lady who has got that kinda game but there’s NO comeback to that one. It’s life-changing.”
125th over: West Indies 423-9 (Roach 6, Gabriel 10) Gabriel has a comical, muscle-busting mow at Stokes and is through his shot before the ball snakes under his bat. Lunch is due in a couple of minutes but I assume play will continue as West Indies are nine down.
124th over: West Indies 422-9 (Roach 6, Gabriel 10) Roach gloves a bit of nastiness from Woakes through the vacant short-leg area. In a strange way, he will have enjoyed that in a strange way. Not because he’s into the whole masochism thing, but because he knows there is enough pace and bounce in this pitch for him and Gabriel when they bowl.
“Would normal English for a “demerit” point be a penalty point, or are “demerit” points special in some way?” says Andrew Benton. “They’re not allowed to swear on the spur of the moment, but some sledging’s fine (and premeditated)?”
123rd over: West Indies 422-9 (Roach 6, Gabriel 10) I’ve missed an over somewhere. So sue me! Ben Stokes, so often a surprising afterthought with the ball, is coming into the attack for the first time today. Gabriel, who gave Stokes a send-off without punishment on day one, fences off a @!*!$& short ball, is beaten flapping at another, ducks under a $%^&*! bouncer and then clunks Stokes back over his “!*%ing head for a couple.
“West Indies have won seven sessions in a row now,” says Romeo, “and this one hasn’t even finished.”
121st over: West Indies 420-9 (Roach 6, Gabriel 8) There’s a lot of time left in the match, eight and a bit sessions, so England’s aim will be to bat for five sessions and make 500-odd - a bit like the Durban Test of 2004, which they would probably have won but for bad light. Alastair Cook will be so important; he’s the rug who ties the innings together.
120th over: West Indies 419-9 (Roach 6, Gabriel 7) Gabriel gets off the mark maximumly, pumping Moeen down the ground for six, and then Roach smears a boundary to midwicket. Twelve from the over. England are thigh deep in the malodorous stuff.
In other news, I suspect most of you will enjoy the latest from Mirpur.
119th over: West Indies 407-9 (Roach 1, Gabriel 0) A short ball from Woakes follows Roach, slams into the glove and drops wide of the slips for a single. West Indies lead by 149. I think I’m right in saying that, excluding oddities like the Pakistan forfeiture in 2006 and Hansie Cronje’s contrivance in 2000, England have won only four Tests after conceding a first-innings deficit of this size: Sydney 1894-95, Lord’s 1955, Headingley 1981 and Old Trafford 2008.
118th over: West Indies 406-9 (Roach 0, Gabriel 0) Moeen has Gabriel put down by Stoneman at short leg. That was a fairly straightforward chance.
Great work from Jonny Bairstow! Blackwood tries to steal a third leg bye and is just short when Bairstow takes Stokes’s fast throw in front of the stumps and spins round to dislodge the bails
117th over: West Indies 404-8 (Blackwood 49, Roach 0) West Indies lead by 146. Since you asked, the last time England won a game with a first-innings deficit of this size was against New Zealand in 2008.
“Nasser Hussain sounds more and more cockney on days when Arsenal are playing,” says Ian Copestake. “He drops more consonants than Ray Winstone trying out for Iago.”
England have gone into defensive mode, bowling for unforced errors - and it has worked. Holder clouts Woakes high in the air, and Moeen runs back from mid-off to take a good catch. It’s an even better catch when you consider his drop earlier in the day. Holder played a fine counter-attacking innings of 43 from 54 balls.
116th over: West Indies 403-7 (Blackwood 48, Holder 43) “Is it unfair to think we look like we thought we could just turn up here and skittle the Windies again?” says Guy Hornsby. “We’ve (Jimmy) bowled some great balls, but as a unit we’ve not really hit the straps, and you can only applaud the turnaround here, especially their application of concentration at the crease, something we’ll need next up. Every run is another small cut, but we’ve hardly helped ourselves. Hmpf.”
There was probably some unconscious complacency, but you can’t blame them after Edgbaston. The problem with the attack in this game is that Broad is out of form, Stokes and Moeen are batsmen who bowl inconsistently and Woakes isn’t match fit. And West Indies have batted bloody well. I’m sure if England had their time again they’d pick Roland-Jones.
115th over: West Indies 401-7 (Blackwood 47, Holder 42) Holder works Woakes to third man to bring up the 400. Woakes’ pace has been down in this match, as you’d expect after such a nasty injury, and he’s been unusually expensive too. He ends this over well, beating Blackwood with consecutive deliveries.
“Rob dearest,” writes Mac Millings. “As a teacher, I know how hard it is to manage one’s language in a public setting - at any given moment, I’m only four letters away from parental fury/the sack/giving an impromptu Anglo-Saxon vocabulary lesson. Stokes could learn a thing or two from a visit to my classroom. I am always unfailingly polite to my students, but my tone makes it absolutely clear that I think they’re all c- [that’ll do – ed].”
114th over: West Indies 396-7 (Blackwood 44, Holder 41) Moeen Ali comes into the attack, with the chance to atone for that desperate dropped catch earlier in the day. There’s some sharp spin and bounce into Holder, who is hit high on the pad. That will interest Devendra Bishoo, West Indies’ legspinner.
“Morning Rob,” says Brian Withington. “As you say, context is everything with a really bad drop. Best one (of two) I recall was on tour in late 70s. Leg spinner bowled wide of off stump, turning more, and the umpire pre-emptively signalled a (very) wide. Meanwhile back at the business end the batsman chased after the ball and planked it off the toe straight to cover in the gentlest of parabolas. So slowly that we all had time to wonder about the legal paradox of being caught off a wide until the almost inevitable shelling ruined the prospect of an urgent call to MCC. I should clarify that “on tour” was in fact the annual Gidea Park & Romford club jaunt towards the South Coast...”
114th over: West Indies 393-7 (Blackwood 43, Holder 41) Holder hammers Woakes through extra cover for another four. This has been a very modern captain’s innings, a saucy counter-attack at a key moment rather than an over-my-dead-body epic. The bigger West Indies’ lead gets, the more important Alastair Cook becomes. This skittish England batting line-up take their lead from him when things get tough, and if he goes early West Indies will be big favourites. It’s time for drinks.
113th over: West Indies 386-7 (Blackwood 42, Holder 35) Holder, on the drive, snicks Anderson right through the vacant third-slip area for four. The next ball is in the slot, and Holder misses an attempt to belt it towards Harrogate. “Woah!” says Nasser Hussain, surprised by the extent of Holder’s intent.
“There is nothing sadder than watching the demise of a once-proud team demise,” says Ian Copestake, “so it is good to see England managing to make a game of this.”
112th over: West Indies 380-7 (Blackwood 42, Holder 29) Woakes replaces Broad, whose relatively poor summer - 41 wickets at 31 - continues. Holder pulls consecutive twos to bring up a rapid fifty partnership from 55 balls, an take West Indies’ lead to 122. That’s a hugely impressive response to the mayhem of the first few overs, during which it would have been easy for them embrace the collapse.
“Totally agree with what they said on TMS re: Broad being smarter in his swearing than Stokes,” says Nick Cooke. “In his first over of the second innings at Edgbaston, one of the Windies openers snicked him through the slips for four. From the centre of the ptich he made a comment which you did not need to be a professional lipreader to establish as ‘Fucking wanker’. Clearly out of umpires’ earshot and stump mic range. Maybe when he feels an outburst coming on, Stokes should try to locate himself in a ‘safe swearing’ zone...”
111th over: West Indies 375-7 (Blackwood 42, Holder 24) Blackwood slams a pull for four off Anderson. Have some of that! This is some counter-attack, with 35 runs from the last four overs.
“Speculating on how Stokes might earn his last demerit point to get a ban out the way before the Ashes,” says Pete Salmon. “Is it like football, where you can be penalised for taking your shirt off? Perhaps next time he gets a wicket he could wheel down to the Kirkstall Lane end naked from the waist up, beating his chest and yelling at the crowd? Or if no more wickets, just come out to bat topless? Any other suggestions for getting him across the line?”
110th over: West Indies 373-7 (Blackwood 37, Holder 24) Holder hits Broad for three consecutive boundaries: a pull, a back-foot square drive and then most glorious extra-cover drive. He held the pose afterwards, and quite right too. This is a fine cameo, 24 from 25 balls, and West Indies lead by 113.
109th over: West Indies 356-7 (Blackwood 37, Holder 10) Blackwood is starting to look dangerous, if still pretty sketchy. He has a huge drive at Anderson, slicing the ball over backward point for a couple, and then Holder swings a golf shot over mid-on for a couple more.
“The stump microphone is the most absurd thing,” says Dave Brown. “What is its purpose apart from picking up the odd cuss? Do you get demerit points if you swear in French let’s say?”
108th over: West Indies 351-7 (Blackwood 34, Holder 8) Blackwood ducks under a Broad bouncer, leaves his bat sticking up and gets four to third man without knowing a solitary thing about it. Holder survives a run-out referral after a bit of a mix-up.
“As you know, not a fan of Stokes but agree it’s absurd,” says Andrew Hurley. “Cricket can occasionally go too far but leeway has to be made for some ‘verbals’, especially when they’re as harmless as that. On the contrary, Sterling yesterday for Man City 100 per cent deserved his second yellow - everyone knows you can’t run into the crowd, he did it (narcissistically) and deserves his punishment. Stokes doesn’t.”
107th over: West Indies 350-7 (Blackwood 29, Holder 8) Anderson has a hopeful LBW appeal against Blackwood turned down. Too high, and maybe going down. Holder drags the last ball over mid-on for four.
“Just trying to think if I’ve ever seen an easier drop in top level cricket than that from Moeen,” says Phil Harrison. “All I could come up with was that brilliant Gatting clanger at silly point in India. Any more?”
106th over: West Indies 340-7 (Blackwood 28, Holder 4) Holder is beaten, driving at a full delivery from Broad. It’s vital that England strike before these batsmen get their eye in, because we know how quickly the mood of a match can change at Headingley - especially if a dangerous hitter like Blackwood gets going. At the moment the lead is a manageable 82.
105th over: West Indies 339-7 (Blackwood 27, Holder 4) Jimmy Anderson is 35 years old, yet his numbers are getting better. Since the start of the 2015 Ashes he has taken 94 wickets in 24 Tests at an average of 19.45. He could have had another one there. Blckwood, trying to turn a shortish delivery to leg, got a leading edge that whistled just over the leaping Stokes at gully and away for four. Blackwood is beaten by the next two deliveries. He is all over the place this morning, with almost every stroke a false one.
“Ben Stokes is clearly a naughty boy but doesn’t that reflect passion and aggression?” says Jeremy Bunting. “Without these components how can England be successful?”
104th over: West Indies 334-7 (Blackwood 22, Holder 4) It’ll be Stuart Broad from the Kirkstall Lane End. England will now be thinking that they can restrict West Indies’ lead to double figures and take control of the match by the close. And they would have been in an even better position but for that pesky Moeen Ali drop! Blackwood dragged Broad to mid-on, where Moeen put down an absolute sitter. How did he drop that? That was almost weird. Blackwood has a filthy heave at the next ball, edging it short of slip, and then flaps an excellent bouncer through to the vacant short-leg area. Some start, this.
103rd over: West Indies 333-7 (Blackwood 21, Holder 4) Anderson has an ODI hat-trick, taken 14 years ago, but nothing in Tests. There are six slips for the hat-trick ball, which Jason Holder defends carefully. That Dowrich dismissal gave Anderson his 23rd Test five-for, and takes him up to 497 Test wickets.
Dowrich has gone first ball! Jimmy Anderson is on a hat-trick after two balls of the third day! Dowrich didn’t need to play at that, but he was drawn towards it in the moth/flame style and edged straight to Root at second slip.
Jimmy Anderson doesn’t do looseners: he has struck with the first ball of the day! It was a good delivery, just back of a length and on a tempting fifth-stump line. Shai Hope felt for it and thin-edged through to Bairstow.
As you’ve probably heard, Ben Stokes has been given a demerit point for swearing in frustration when Shai Hope edged him for four. It’s entirely ridiculous, a lamentable indictment of a world in which being seen to do the right thing is far more important than actually doing it.
This reprimand takes Stokes to three demerit points, and if he gets one more he’ll be suspended. I’d say it’s odds-on that he’ll be suspended for one of the Ashes Tests this winter. It won’t happen, but he should do the old Denis Law trick and deliberately get himself suspended from the final Test against West Indies.
Play starts at 11am here. While you wait, why not follow Australia’s first Test in Bangladesh?
Morning. You’ve probably seen the pilot episode of Peep Show. Mark Corrigan, the character based on you and me, fantasises about being left alone at a house party with Toni, his sexually competent next-door neighbour. Then it actually happens, and his internal monologue kicks in as he processes the terrifying reality of being alone with a desirable member of the opposite sex. “Okay Mark, you asked for it and now you’ve got it.”
This being Peep Show, the whole thing descends into farce until he goes running after a group of kids armed with a steel bar. That’s not the point. The point is that we all craved a contest between England and West Indies, and by heaven we’ve got one at Headingley. West Indies will resume on 329 for five, a lead of 71, after outstanding centuries from Kraigg Brathwaite and Shai Hope. If England have another bad day, they face a defeat that would sit somewhere between embarrassing and humiliating.
3rd over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 0) Brathwaite almost falls over as he lunges like a libidinous drunk at a gorgeous delivery from Anderson that bursts past the outside edge. The next ball goes the other way to prompt a big LBW appeal that is turned down. Too high.
“Afternoon Rob,” says Andy Bradshaw. “Wonder if Broad and Jimmy might break the habit of a lifetime and PITCH THE NEW BALL UP AT THE SODDING STUMPS AND NOT WASTE IT THE USELESS *$&$&%$^&”$*&*”$£%(“*”!£&$%”$£(%”£%$**.”
2nd over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 0) A poor first over from Broad, who gives Powell plenty that he can ignore. By the way tickets are £10 tomorrow, with kids getting in free. GO!
1st over: West Indies 3-0 (Brathwaite 3, Powell 0) Jimmy Anderson starts to Kraigg Brathwaite, who cuts the first ball assertively for three. That allows Anderson to start toying with Powell, who is beaten by an outswinger and struck on the pad by an inswinger next up. England go through with a token LBW appeal but everyone realised it was missing leg stump. Good stuff from Anderson.
“Hi Rob, was just checking to see how the Admiral Lord Collingwood of Shotley Bridge was getting on,” says Chris Howell. “Very pleased to see he has his century, also tickled that there is a Mr Podmore playing for Derbyshire...”
West Indies must be so disappointed that a potential win, the greatest win of their careers, has turned into a grim struggle for survival. That’s not easy to deal with, no matter how hard you try. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were routed.
So, West Indies need 322 to win. Unless somebody does a Mark Butcher, it’s not going to happen.
Woakes punishes the weary Holder for consecutive boundaries with a cut and a drive. Some effective scampering makes it 12 from the over, and Joe Root decides to declare. I didn’t expect that but it’s the right decision; West Indies look physically and mentally shattered and could easily lose a wicket or two tonight. They have six overs to survive.
140th over: England 478-8 (Woakes 50, Broad 14) Woakes drives Bishoo for a single to reach an accomplished, sedate half-century, his third in Tests.
“Highest England total without a century, blah…” sniffs Adam Hirst. “We’re also into the top 10 for England in the third innings and still climbing. Look! I done a statsguru!”
139th over: England 477-8 (Woakes 49, Broad 14) Thanks Tanya, hello again. I don’t think a declaration is imminent – on the balcony, Joe Root still has a hoodie on – though they will probably be bowled out before the close. There are 10 overs remaining after this one from Holder. Woakes flicks four more to move closer to a fifty – and, according to the chaps on Sky, make this England’s highest Test score without a century. The previous record was also on this ground 23 years ago, when Mike Atherton was agonisingly caught and bowled for 99 in his first innings after the dirt-in-the-pocket scandal (sic).
138th over: England 470-8 ( Woakes 42, Broad 14) England lead by296 And a knock on the door means that I miss all that over but I turn you over to the Master himself, Rob Smyth. Thank you for reading!
137th over: England 465-8 ( Woakes 41, Broad 10) England lead by 296 Holder brings himself back on, as a Mexican Wave swoops round the ground - a swooping slice from Broad grabs their attention back. England near the magic lead of 300.
136th over: England 460-8 ( Woakes 40, Broad 6) England lead by 291 Another no-ball from Bishoo is swept by Broad and short leg nearly gets thwacked by Woakes swinging the bat around. The shadows are lengthening at Headingley.
135th over: England 455-8 ( Woakes 37, Broad 5) England lead by 285 Some extra bounce from Chase and a maiden.
MEanwhile Dennis in Leicester has some statty fun of the type Rob likes so much. “England’s first innings was 258. The Windies first innings was 427. In the 126th over, England were on 427 and their lead was 258, both exactly the same as the two teams’ first innings scores. Spooky, eh?”
134th over: England 455-8 ( Woakes 37, Broad 5) England lead by 286 Just two runs from Bishoo’s over and everyone takes drinks out on the field and perhaps a cup of Yorkshire for Joe Root in the dressing-room. If he is going to declare tonight - the 8073 basking in the crowd will be in for a fascinating last hour.
Oh, and Hameed has just been out for 15...
133rd over: England 453-8 ( Woakes 36, Broad 5) England lead by 285
132nd over: England 453-8 ( Woakes 35, Broad 5) England lead by 284 Time for a breath. I’ll leave the words to Peter Salmon.
“I notice Eminem was headlining the Leeds festival last night – any news on whether he took advantage of the terrific £15 ticket deal today? Seems just the sort of chap who’d like the cut and thrust of a good day’s test cricket.
131st over: England 450-8 ( Woakes 32, Broad 5) Broad, on a pair, gets off the mark with a sweep behnd square for four. The instructions from the dressing-room are pretty clear here.
130th over: England 448-8 ( Woakes 31, Broad 0)
Moeen went for a big hit and lobbed it up to long on, where Brathwaite holds on! For shame - a century would have been right.
129th over: England 437-7 ( Moeen Ali 81, Woakes 29) England lead by 270. Tickety, tockety, goes the scoreboard, two from Chase’s over, as England’s lead grows. Meanwhile Richard Hands is in a happy place.
“I am, as ever, surreptitiously but immensely enjoying the OBO while summer half-heartedly puts in a belated appearance on the Brussels streets outside my office (blue sky! What’s that all about? We never have blue sky…).
128th over: England 437-7 ( Moeen Ali 80, Woakes 28) England lead by 268. Just the one run off Bishoo’s over - and a chance for Holder to take a breath.
127th over: England 436-7 ( Moeen Ali 79, Woakes 28) England lead by 267. What can you say about Moeen Ali in full flow like this? Will you count the ways? A couple of classy boundaries - it is just a shame Headingley isn’t more full on such a sunlit eve.
126th over: England 427-7 ( Moeen Ali 70, Woakes 28) England lead by 258. A maiden from Bishoo.
125th over: England 427-7 ( Moeen Ali 70, Woakes 28) England lead by 258. A full toss from Chase is driven to the boundary from Moeen and a sweep for four brings up the 100 partnership from 113 balls. These two have turned the match as much with their speed and confidence as their strokeplay.
124th over: England 418-7 ( Moeen Ali 61, Woakes 28) An excellent over from Bishoo, teasing away, though England stretch their lead to 250.
123rd over: England 418-7 ( Moeen Ali 61, Woakes 28) Chase returns to bring a little control to proceedings. Moeen watching and noting, watching and noting.
122nd over: England 415-7 ( Moeen Ali 59, Woakes 27) England lead by 246
“Evening Tanya”, writes Simon McMahon . “Will England bat on for as long as they can, or try to get a lead of, say, 300 and then have half a dozen overs from Anderson and Broad tonight..?”
121th over: England 412-7 ( Moeen Ali 56, Woakes 27) England lead by 241 Fifty for Moeen with a drive through the covers off Roach for four - and what a counter-attacking, carefree, little beauty it has been!
120th over: England 403-7 ( Moeen Ali 48, Woakes 26) England lead by 234
119th over: England 402-7 ( Moeen Ali 47, Woakes 26) England lead by 233 So Kemar Roach has a go, but the result is a similar looking soup. A drive and a cut from Woakes takes England past 400.
118th over: England 394-7 ( Moeen Ali 47, Woakes 18) England lead by 225
117th over: England 391-7 ( Moeen Ali 47, Woakes 16) Moeen drives gloriously for four, then uppercuts for four off a no-ball and finishes off with a crisp, flourishing cover drive to the boundary. The West Indies body language says “bewildered”
116th over: England 376-7 ( Moeen Ali 33, Woakes 16) England lead by 192 Oh West Indies. More calamity. Moeen is caught cutting off Bishoo’s first ball of the over, but it is no-ball. Only just, but only just enough. Then, Holder calls for a review of an lbw decision - which it turns out is spinning past leg.
115th over: England 374-7 ( Moeen Ali 32, Woakes 16) Shannon Gabriel attempts to restore some common sense at the other end, bustling and bristling, but a couple of full tosses and a no-ball rather spoil the tone. And there’s a gorgeous drive for four by Woakes and a flick off the pads to the boundary by Moeen.
114th over: England 361-7 ( Moeen Ali 27, Woakes 9) England lead by 192 A slightly off the wall bowling change from West Indies as part-time offspinner Kraigg Brathwaite, whose action was quibbled after Edgbaston, opens the bowling after tea. First ball is a loopy full toss thwacked for four by Moeen. “Is he bowling for a declaration?” asks Ian Ward.A loopy, full toss thwacked for four by Moeen. The over improves, slightly.
If you can tear your attention away from the Test for a minute - it is a fascinating day in the Championship. A mile away from this very sitting room, Haseeb Hameed will shortly be batting against Warwickshire. And at Chelmsford, top of the table Essex are stumbling against struggling Somerset. Read all about it here!
113th over: England 357-7 ( Moeen Ali 23, Woakes 9) England lead by 188 Well, that was a bit of an unexpected adrenaline boost. A wicket cascade has left West Indies in with a chance and yet... if Moeen hangs around... Over on Sky, Athers and SirIan think England have enough.
Just the thought of the myriad possibilities has put a boiiiiing and a spring in Robert Wilson’s step, “Bangladesh thumping the Aussies, the West Indies coming right back at ya, is it just me or does the world seem suddenly young and fresh again? I feel like singing songs or strewing daisies around the sunlit meadows.”
113th over: England 357-7 ( Moeen Ali 23, Woakes 9) England lead by 188 The lesser-spotted Bishoo comes on for the last over before tea and tight it is.
112th over: England 356-7 ( Moeen Ali 22, Woakes 9) England lead by 187 Moeen thwacks the first ball of Roach’s over for 4 -high over backward point. Lovely!
111th over: England 351-7 ( Moeen Ali 17, Woakes 9) England lead by 178.
“Afternoon Tanya.” writes Guy Hornsby. Hello! “What a time to join us, eh. I love YJB as much as the next OBOer, but that was a true brain fade. Getting on top of the bowler doesn’t have to be that brazen. You do have to wonder how much stick Moeen would’ve got had he done that? This is on a knife edge now, with these two needing clear-headed batting, not the brash swinging bravado of one of the West Stand faithful. Anything under 230 just won’t be enough. Pessimism ahoy!”
110th over: England 347-7 ( Moeen Ali 15, Woakes 7) England lead by 178. Kemar Roach replaces Holder at the Kirkstall Lane End. Moeen slaps it through the covers for four. Thwack! And another boundary, this one a clip off the hip.
109th over: England 339-7 ( Moeen Ali 7, Woakes 7) A slog-sweep from Moeen for four off Chase - neither of these batsmen are going to hang around twiddling their thumbs. England lead by 170
Liam again, on ironing: “I wouldn’t mind but I then tried to finish off a third and Bairstow. Stopping now.”
108th over: England 333-7 ( Moeen Ali 2, Woakes 6 ) Holder chugging away, keeping Woakes guessing, playing and missing. And then a classy Woakesean on-drive which runs down to the boundary for four.
107th over: England 328-7 ( Moeen Ali 2, Woakes 1 ) England lead by 159. Oh Jonny - he’d just played two beautiful strokes and I was going to wax lyrical on how many runs he has scored for Yorkshire at Headingley over the last few years.
Oh no! He tries to reverse sweep Chase from outside leg and drags the ball on. Yikes.
106th over: England 323-6 (Bairstow 14, Moeen Ali 2) Another one down - this time Bairstow dropped by Kyle Hope at short cover off Holder. Tricky, but West Indies needed it.
“Bloody hell I only started doing the ironing 10mins ago and there has been two wickets” writes Liam Bergin. “Creased shirt tomorrow, it’s a sign” But of what Liam? Of what?
105th over: England 316-6 (Bairstow 9, Moeen Ali 0) Ohhh, this is fascinating, Chase to Moeen, some big turn here.
104th over: England 316-6 (Bairstow 9, Moeen Ali 0 ) Four byes as a ball from Holder bounces and swings past the diving Dowrich
103rd over: England 312-6 (Bairstow 9, Moeen Ali 0 ) Poor Malan - not done quite enough to save the game, not done quite enough to guarantee his tour place. Watchee, waitee.
Malan perhaps unsettled by uneven bounce earlier in the over, bowled playing inside an off-break. Game on?
102nd over: England 312-5 (Malan 61, Bairstow 9) Beautiful extra-cover drive by Bairstow for four off Holder from a man who will be desperate to do well here. And again, a lovely little four off his toes.
101st over: England 304-5 (Malan 61, Bairstow 1) The wicket fell to the first ball after drinks, but will it be too late for West Indies to grab the match?
Stokes caught at long off going for a big hit, a cool, cool catch by Brathwaite just inside the boundary
And thank you so much Rob, lucky I made you odd cup of tea during your work experience stint, back in the day. Turned out my technical issues were that the remote needed new batteries - which feels a bit like the sort of problem the West Indies might have had this afternoon. Sky have England 50% chance of a win, West Indies 10%, and a draw sneaking up to 40%
100th over: England 303-4 (Malan 61, Stokes 58) Holder jags one back into Stokes, who is hit near a painful area again. That’s drinks.
“Hi Rob,” says Brendon O’Sullivan. “Having tried Cloudwater’s fantastic double IPA at Birmingham’s marvellous 1000 Trades bar last month (at half that price), I’d say it’s worth it. But it was their alternative 80s night, Now Ham, and the dj had just dropped “The Killing Moon”, so I was a bit emotional to begin with. Keep up the fairly good work!”
98th over: England 300-4 (Malan 60, Stokes 56) The captain Jason Holder stands alone on the burning deck. He bowls a good maiden to Stokes, with one delivery going past the outside edge. What he really needs, however, is a wicket or six. This is slipping away.
“Re Martin Phillips complaint about ‘2nd new ball’,” begins Paul Ward. “Does he not share my pain when the OBO keeps saying ‘1 new update’ when updates are by definition new?”
97th over: England 300-4 (Malan 60, Stokes 56) Stokes has broken his bat. He looks genuinely upset, as if he’s already planning whereabouts in the back garden to bury his best friend. Parting with your bat is such sweet sorrow: Stokes belts his first delivery with the replacement bat for four to reach a sensational fifty, full of authority and extravagant strokeplay. The next ball is too straight and flicked for four more, and then Malan smashes a boundary to make it 13 from the over - and bring up the 300. England lead by 131, and West Indies are starting to drown in fatalism.
96th over: England 287-4 (Malan 56, Stokes 47) Sound the demerit poiunt klaxon! Ian Ward, on Sky, apologies for some language coming through to the stump mic. I’m not sure who it was but presumably one of the West Indies players. Jason Holder has replaced Roach, who picked a bad time to bowl a bad spell, and beats Malan with a very full delivery that misbehaves out of the footholes.
“Have you seen the price of this beer?” says Sam. “GBP13.40 a pint!”
95th over: England 285-4 (Malan 54, Stokes 47) Stokes rams Gabriel’s attempted yorker whence it came for four. The next ball, another attempted yorker, elicits an even better shot through mid-on for four.. This has been a brilliant innings from Stokes, an immaculately judged fusion of positive attack and positive defence. And the moment I type that, he is beaten on the inside by a significant jaffa from Gabriel. That only just missed the off bail.
“Hello Rob,” says Martin Phillips. “Am I the only one (answer, very probably, yes) to be bothered when pundits talk about ‘the second new ball’? The first ball used in an innings is by definition going to be new, so really it’s just ‘the ball’. Once 80 overs have been bowled, the option comes of taking a “new ball”, so it shouldn’t be the second new ball, or even the first new ball, just... the new ball. Is there, perhaps, a sound reason for this?”
94th over: England 275-4 (Malan 54, Stokes 39) A flowing drive from Malan off Roach brings him a sixth boundary. He doesn’t need Junior Soprano to tell him how close he is to going on an Ashes tour. A century would seal his place - this isn’t 1998 - and I suspect 80-odd might as well. But if he falls for 79, it’s over between us.
Roach isn’t bowling well, and I suspect Holder will replace him at this end. England lead by 106.
93rd over: England 269-4 (Malan 50, Stokes 38) That’s a great point from Nasser, via someone on Twitter: had Stokes sworn when he was hit in the box, would he have been given a demerit point and therefore banned? Back at the ranch, Malan reaches a gritty, 162-ball fifty with an inside-edge for a single off Gabriel. Well battled, youngish man.
Meanwhile, after another terrific day’s play in Mirpur, Bangladesh have a great chance of a first Test win over Australia.
92nd over: England 268-4 (Malan 49, Stokes 38) Stokes walks onto a wide, full-length delivery from Roach and punches a lovely drive through extra cover for four. Stokes now averages exactly 40 since the end of last summer, which is excellent given the game-changing nature of his runs. If you go back to the start of 2016, which includes the 258, he averages 45.
Here’s
your friend and mine, Ian Copestake “Talking of technical issues, I am attempting to follow the game while editing the next issue of the William Carlos Williams Review (imagine editing the New Yorker in your pants [not your pants, Rob, obviously] in a bedsit with no staff while being abused online by Mac Millings et al). So I want to state publicly that any typos, factual errors or inclusion of inadvertent references to cricket are entirely the fault of Ben Stokes.”
91st over: England 264-4 (Malan 49, Stokes 34) Malan hooks Gabriel for a single to bring up the fifty partnership. Although Stokes has been the dominant partner, Malan’s innings is becoming increasingly valuable as a platform from some lower middle order bish-bosh.
Here’s an email from Project B. “Check out what’s going down and coming up at PROJECT B...”
90th over: England 260-4 (Malan 46, Stokes 33) Roach is picking a bad time to spray the ball all over the place, and there are no alarms for England in that over.
“Hello Rob,” says Bill Vincent. “I can’t see why Root’s conversion rate matters. He averages 54, and has made well over 5000 runs in under 60 Tests. Plus he’s only 26, so has at least a decade’s Test cricket ahead of him. In short, he’s well on track to becoming England’s most prolific ever batsman. All done with style, much of it under the pressure of coming in at the inevitable 35 for two, and at a scoring rate that often makes his runs decisive. Better that, surely, that getting a century every ten Tests, but 10s and 20s between them, at a conversion rate of 100%. One other thing, the far more important issue of beer prices. When I arrived at University (In a long lost Sheffield of steel mills, smoky pubs and barmen who called a 16 stone prop-forward - me - “love”) a pint of Newcastle Brown was 25p in the Hall bar. Happy for a quid, blotto for two quid, in A&E for three quid. Happy days - eat your livers out, kiddies.”
89th over: England 259-4 (Malan 45, Stokes 33) Shannon Gabriel, all muscle and bustle, charges in to Stokes, who defends carefully. His bowling hasn’t really kicked on - he’s still the occasional match-changer he was in 2015 - but he is a serious Test batsman now. Even the greatest are not exempt from the cheap comedy that occurs when they are hit flush in the box, however, and that’s what has just happened to Stokes. A good over from Gabriel is tarnished when a misfield from Holder at mid-off gives Stokes four runs.
88th over: England 255-4 (Malan 45, Stokes 29) Kemar Roach has just bowled an iffy first over with the second new ball, including a poor delivery that Malan pulled round the corner for four.
Hello, Rob again. Tanya is having technical issues, so I’m stepping in for a minute. My gain is your loss.
West Indies are going to take the second new ball.
Tanya Aldred, one of the golden generation of young cricket writers at Wisden Cricket Monthly in the early 2000s (Tanya, Booth, Emma John, Simon Briggs, Christian Ryan, Peter English, somebody I’ve offended by momentarily forgetting them),will be with you straight after lunch. You can email her on tanya.aldred.freelance@theguardian.com. Bye!
86th over: England 251-4 (Malan 41, Stokes 29) Bishoo’s last over before lunch goes for a couple.That’s been an excellent session for England, despite the loss of Joe Root. Dawid Malan played like Chris Tavare, scoring 20 runs in the session, and Ben Stokes played like Ben Stokes to take England’s lead up to a useful 82. The afternoon session, when West Indies will take the second new ball, is likely to decide the match, and possibly the series.
86th over: England 249-4 (Malan 40, Stokes 28)We’ll have one last over before lunch, after which West Indies will surely take the second new ball.
“Rob,” says John Starbuck. “On TMS Aggers is bemoaning his broken boiler. This was preceded by Boycott delegating all household tasks to his housekeeper, but as she is unlikely to drive down the A1 to fix it, Aggers intends to go to the pub to find a short-notice plumber (his regular guy being away in Wales). This sounds like an excellent excuse for getting a drink or two, no matter what a pint costs, but one suspects it’s more likely to work in the country rather than a town or city. Dating aside, would you go out to a city bar?”
85th over: England 248-4 (Malan 40, Stokes 27) Stokes is looking dangerous. When doesn’t he? Bishoo drops short again and is flashed through midwicket for four. He has bowled too many fourballs, which have obscured the wicket-threatening deliveries - like that, a good legspinner that Stokes inside-edges for a single.
“I think we can easily explain the Root Conversion dilemma based on the wrongheadedness of expecting adherence to a decimal system,” says Michael Hunt. “Fifty and a hundred are relatively arbitrary scores given importance based on using a rounded 10 as key. If we move instead to a much more sensible duodecimal system and so look at conversion rates from 36 to 72, we see that the perfect conversion of this innings sits Joe on I make it a 56% conversion rate, compared to Smith (52), Kohli (50), and Williamson (50).”
84th over: England 242-4 (Malan 39, Stokes 22) Chase beats Stokes with a beauty that drifts in and spits away. There is plenty in this pitch for the spinners, as has often been the case at Headingley in recent times. Stokes knows that being beaten is an occupational hazard and it isn’t affecting his attacking approach. When he gets a straighter delivery from Chase, he crashes a sweep through midwicket for four. England lead by 73. I think they’ll win this now, perhaps by a biggish margin.
83rd over: England 237-4 (Malan 39, Stokes 17) Malan, caught in umpteen minds, almost drags Bishoo back onto the stumps. The next ball is a long hop and hammered into the leg of the man at short leg. He’s fine, although the incident gives a bit of a shudder to those who recall Nick Knight wearing one on the head at silly point in 1995.
“I don’t want to talk about Roots converstion rate,” says Felix Wood, subtly making that point by misspelling conversion and omitting Root’s possessive apostrophe. “It is, however, astonishing that he can have such a good average with so many runs left on the ground, as it so often feels. But I could talk about Thorpe all day long. One of my favourite things about him was that he decided to bat left handed just because his brothers batted right handed. I used to long to be good enough at batting to be able to copy his marking of his gaurd with the bail, but as I usually only lasted a ball or so I think it would have invited too much ridicule. Ah, memories.”
82nd over: England 236-4 (Malan 38, Stokes 17) Roston Chase comes on to replace Holder and rips one out of the rough to beat Stokes’s attempted sweep. As Mike Atherton says on Sky, it’s fair enough to delay the second new ball until after lunch, when Roach and Gabriel will have had a rest. It’s such a pivotal moment in the series, and the last thing you want is them to bowl four weary overs for 30 before lunch.
In other news, a plot just thickened. “Hi Rob,” says Ben Parker. “In response to Mr Millard (71st over) asking about the price of t’pint at that fancy Lords I am pleased to confirm that it is indeed much more than ooop norf. I found this on their new-fandangled internet site: ‘Revisionist Craft Lager, Stowford Press Cider, New World Pale Ale, Marston’s Pedigree and other guest ales from £5.20’. Yours in regional stereotyping.”
81st over: England 234-4 (Malan 38, Stokes 15) Bishoo continues, nothing happens. Here’s Ian Copestake, and by heck is he feeling mindful. “For Test matches to engage with the people who matter (namely flush hipsters) there should be an alcohol ban and a focus on wholewheat snacks grown organically on the practice pitches. Make England healthy again.”
80th over: England 233-4 (Malan 38, Stokes 14) It’s hard to judge this Malan innings. The half-full argument says he has shown impressive character and restraint; the half-empty argument says he is strokeless, was out early on and dropped this morning. The new ball is due but it looks like West Indies will continue with the old one until lunch.
“It was £3.50 a pint in the bar under The Tavern Stand,” writes ‘Steve Hudson, debunking stereotypes since 1961.’
79th over: England 231-4 (Malan 36, Stokes 14) “Dear Rob,” says Robert Wilson. “Has there ever been a less charismatic or sexually attractive statement than your ‘God, I love stats.’ (63rd over). Best laugh I’ve had in months. Thanks. I know that it’s a magical, surprising and infinitely complex world we live in but even if you were an unholy mix of Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt and Zayn Malik, when your eyes meet those of some toothsome damsel over the shimmering candle-light (after an evening of perfect cooking and kitten-rescuing) and you say God, I love stats, the night just isn’t going to pan out as you hoped.”
You clearly weren’t at Data Night 2017. It was like Eyes Wide Shut in there! Without the boring bits!
78th over: England 230-4 (Malan 35, Stokes 14) There’s a good battle going on between Holder and Stokes. Holder is changing his angle of delivery; Stokes is changing his position on the crease, standing outside to some deliveries. It’s a maiden. The new ball is due in two overs’ time. That’s the game and the series, right there. We haven’t really talked about the state of the series. It’s as if we’re all assuming England will win the third Test by an innings regardless of what happens here!
“Confirming a stereotype is all in a day’s work,” says Jon Millard. “And if we have overpriced North/South beer parity, then the Grauniad’s Job is done. Root dismissal a horror show.....sound of sucking teeth between shot and catch nearly gave me tinnitus. Never mind, In 45 quid’s time I won’t care...”
77th over: England 230-4 (Malan 35, Stokes 14) Bishoo has a biggish shout for LBW against Stokes turned down. Stokes was beaten on the inside but had gone so far across that he was hit outside the line of off stump. When Bishoo then tosses one up towards the rough, Stokes reaches out and clatters it down the ground for four. That’s another superb stroke. Malan and Stokes then steal a second run to take England’s lead to 61.
“Last year the Marston’s Pedigree in the Tavern at Lord’s was £3.50,” says Steve Hudson. “So there.”
76th over: England 223-4 (Malan 33, Stokes 9) Malan belted 78 from 44 balls on his T20 debut against South Africa. In Tests he has been the opposite, with a strike rate in the 30s rather than the 170s. In this innings he has 33 from 116 balls.
“I’m sure I’m not the first to point out that the obvious reason for Joe Root’s poor conversion rate is that you keep jinxing him by talking about it,” thunders Mac Millings. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry!
75th over: England 223-4 (Malan 33, Stokes 9) Stokes edges a quicker delivery from Bishoo just short of slip. There is no sense that both teams are waiting for the second new ball; Bishoo looks a threat.
74th over: England 222-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 9) That’s a stunning shot from Stokes, a short-arm pull for four off a ball from Holder that kept a bit low. He does play some unique, almost Pietersenian shots; there was another against Australia in the Champions Trophy that had Virat Kohli purring and tweeting.
“Am sat in a play-gym wondering if I i ever see my three year old again so I don’t have the stats to hand,” begins Nick Goldspink, “but isn’t the conversion rate problem due to the fact that his rate of scoring 50s is exceptional - something close to 50 50+ scores in a little over 100 innings...it would be Bradmanesque to convert 50% of that many....”
73rd over: England 218-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 5) This is only Bishoo’s tenth over a match in which, thus far, he has played as a specialist nightwatchman. It’s a decent one, most of which is defended solidly by Malan.
“Morning Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “This is shaping up to be a gripping Test match. As is the one in Dhaka. Not that I’m following them closely or anything. Working, you see. Working. (Insert winking emoji here).”
73rd over: England 218-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 5) This is only Bishoo’s tenth over a match in which, thus far, he has played as a specialist nightwatchman. It’s a decent one, most of which is defended solidly by Malan.
“Morning Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “This is shaping up to be a gripping Test match. As is the one in Dhaka. Not that I’m following them closely or anything. Working, you see. Working. (Insert winking emoji here).”
72nd over: England 217-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 4) Holder is bowling superbly around the wicket to the left-handers, getting the ball to tail away from a line that makes any leave fraught with peril. Malan is beaten, following one such delivery.
“Just from you mentioning Thorpey, I remember his struggles to convert fifties,” says Gareth Fitzgerald. “In his early career there were plenty of counter-attacking 60’s and 70’s (his front leg off the ground pull shot was awesome) and then he totally changed in the second part of his career (bad back?) Would love to see a grizzled Joe Root in ten years time making nurdled, crab-like hundreds with only one boundary. I’d take one today in fact...”
71st over: England 217-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 4) Bishoo comes into the attack and gets some sharp turn into the new batsman Stokes. He has improved enormously against spin but he still isn’t that comfortable starting against it when the ball is turning. Bishoo generously gives him one off the mark - or rather four, a long hop that is slaughtered to cow corner. It almost went for six.
“Regarding Matthew Doherty’s wish...does Stokes get to be Botham or Dilley?” says Jon Millard. “Incidentally, I’m a Yorkshireman at Test cricket for the first time in my life. In Yorkshire. £4.50 a pint. What is it at Lord’s?”
70th over: England 213-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 0) Jason Holder replaces the slightly wayward Kemar Roach, now with two left-handers in his sights. And Malan has been dropped! Oh, madon, the West Indies have had a shocker in the field. Malan had a big, loose drive and edged it straight to first slip, where it was put down by the crouching Powell. In his defence, he was probably put off by Dowrich, who dived a long way and then withdrew from the catch. That was not the time for a keeper to dummy his first slip, however adroitly he did it. In his defence, the ball did start to swing away at the last minute. Maybe it wasn’t quite the shemozzle we first thought.
69th over: England 212-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 0) That was really well bowled from Gabriel, who has had such a good match. Root shaped to lift it over the cordon but it followed him and left him with no room to control the shot. England lead by 43.
“Using your immense archives of cricket knowledge and actuarial stats abilities,” begins Ben Parker, mistaking me for someone, anyone else, “can you tell me if a tenner on Windies to win at 4-1 is a good bet?”
Joe Root has gone! He was cramped for room by Gabriel and steered the ball to gully, where Shai Hope almost muffed a simple chance before grabbing it at the 48th attempt. Root can barely drag himself from the field. That is a mighty wicket for the West Indies.
68th over: England 212-3 (Root 72, Malan 32) Root strongarms an attempted yorker from Roach through midwicket for four, is bowled by a dead ball - no controversy, he wasn’t ready and pulled away - and then flicks another boundary to move into the seventies. It was always likely that, in the short-term, the captaincy would have a positive impact on Root’s batting. Even so, 727 runs at 72.70 represents a fine summer’s work, even if that bloody conversion rate continues to put an asterisk against his achievements.
“I think there are many factors influencing a player’s conversion rate aside from the individual merit of the batsman,” says Jonathan Gresty. “One thing I would say in Joe Root’s defence is that he knows he has a lot of good batsmen coming in after him. So if the team needs to chase a game or go on the attack, he knows he can take risks which the batsmen with higher conversion rates might not take. Perhaps the fact that he puts the team ahead of his own run-scoring ambitions is one of the key reasons - for which we should definitely cut him some slack.”
67th over: England 203-3 (Root 63, Malan 32) Gabriel swings one down the leg side for a bye, with Dowrich acrobatically saving three runs. The next ball is a wide. Holder might have to bring himself on sooner than anticipated, because Roach and Gabriel have been more Jackson Pollock than Shaun Pollock this morning.
Malan takes a dodgy single to mid-off and has to dive desperately to make his ground as Holder’s throw whistles past the stumps. He has an even bigger scare off the last ball of the over, flciking it just over the leaping square leg for four.
66th over: England 195-3 (Root 62, Malan 27) Roach has been too wide to Malan, who is playing only when absolutely necessary. It’s like watching Alastair Cook. Roach gets the last ball spot on, a superb awayswinger that goes past the edge.
“Hello Rob,” says Matthew Doherty. “In answer to Joe Root’s low conversion rate compared to the other batsmen is that England are 20 for 3 when he comes in to bat.”
65th over: England 195-3 (Root 62, Malan 27) Root walks across his stumps to clip Gabriel through midwicket for four. That also brings up the hundred partnership. These are slightly ominous signs for West Indies, though the wicket of Root would change everything.
64th over: England 189-3 (Root 57, Malan 26) Roach goes around the wicket to the largely strokeless Malan. It’s another maiden, better than the first, though I was a bit distracted by Mikey Holding, who is ranting majestically about everything from the West Indies’ fields to the underuse of Devendra Bishoo.
“Hello Rob,” says Matthew Doherty. “Is it tempting fate for Bairstow and Stokes to do a Botham and Dilley this afternoon?”
63rd over: England 189-3 (Root 57, Malan 26) Root pulls Gabriel through backward square leg for four before being beaten by two superb full-length deliveries. Root will be desperate to make a hundred today for a few reasons. It’s his first close Test as captain, on his home ground. And then there’s that pesky conversation rate of fifties to hundreds: 28 per cent, which compares unfavourably to his peers. Virat Kohli’s is 55, Steve Smith’s 50 and Kane Williamson’s 40. It’s hard to find a reason for it. Maybe it has become self-perpetuating in the last year or so because the problem is getting worse rather than better: since the end of the 2015 Ashes, Root’s conversion rate is 21 per cent. God I love stats.
62nd over: England 185-3 (Root 53, Malan 26) A poor maiden from Roach to Malan, the kind Alan Mullally used to bowl on a bad day, with the radar all over the place.
61st over: England 185-3 (Root 53, Malan 26) A no-ball from Gabriel is punched down the ground for four by Malan. He hasn’t looked convincing in his short Test career, in truth, yet that won’t matter if he gets a score today. A big innings would surely secure a place in the Ashes squad.
60th over: England 179-3 (Root 53, Malan 21) Kemar Roach opens the bowling to Joe Root. To say Root is a big wicket today is like saying oxygen is a useful survival tool. He reaches the usual fifty with a couple of boundaries between the slips and gully. The first was deliberately played, the second a thick edge through the gap.
The Dan Lucas Memorial Cup Dan’s girlfriend Liz has asked me to thank everyone who went to or supported his memorial match last weekend. It was a great success, with £1310 raised on the day and the kind of feelgood athletic ineptitude you would expect from Guardian readers. Andrew Miller, UK Editor of Cricinfo and aspiring stand-up comedian, has written a very funny match report here.
Pre-play reading
Hello there. After five one-sided Tests, finally a contest. For the first time this summer we go into the fourth day with no real idea who’s going to win. England will resume on 171 for three - a precious lead of, erm, two - with Joe Root on 45 and Dawid Malan on 21. It was hard work yesterday evening, but the labours of England’s batsmen have given their flammable lower middle order something to work with.
If England win, it will be only the fifth time they have done so after a first-innings deficit in excess of 150. A West Indies victory would be their first in England since 2000, and only their fourth away to a team other than Zimbabwe or Bangladesh since 1997. All told, this should be quite a day.
Super bowling from the Aussie no. 1 spinner. Gives it a chance to rip from around the wicket, plenty of flight. Lands it in just in the footmarks, where it went on to take plenty of turn and bounce. Due to the angle, Imrul had to play. Edge found high on the bat, floating up to Warner at second slip who completed the easiest of catches. So that’s two in a relative hurry far as runs are concerned, which have dried up. Seven to go. Keep it there, Nath.
33rd over: Bangladesh 67-2 (Tamim 46, Imrul 2)
Hazlewood replaces Cummins from the far end. I still have no idea what it is called, so my Croweater colleague from The Australian Andrew Faulkner has gone for a walk to find out for me, and therefore, us. Most kind. He’s straight into the shoebox that he lands all day long. Can’t fault him. Tamim up to the task. Maiden. Only a small crowd in so far, but they like it when Hazlewood shapes to throw back at the batsmen.
32nd over: Bangladesh 67-2 (Tamim 46, Imrul 2)
Lyon generating big spin to Tamim, but he holds his shape to punch out to cover. Ripping them to Imrul again as well, who has the good sense to get inside the line of one that may have caught the edge had he followed it with his hands. Nothing silly required by these two. Everything on their side. Ample experience to come with Shakib and Mushfiqur.
31st over: Bangladesh 65-2 (Tamim 45, Imrul 1)
Cummins pushing hard here. Another over, probably his fifth of the morning by now. It’s bloody hot out there, he’ll be spent soon. Tamim has it under control, a couple off the pads, defending solidly. Lead is 108.
Lyon races through one here to keep the pressure on, I guess. Not sure it that’s required, mind. Imrul defends well to begin, before Lyon gets a couple to go a bit towards the end. Neither beat the edge. Well left. Maiden. Agar? Agar. Carn. I’m just on this today. I think he’s the guy. Maybe that’s because he spoke so well after play last night and I can’t help but like the dude? Who can know. But get him on, Smudge.
29th over: Bangladesh 63-2 (Tamim 43, Imrul 1)
Shoooot we all let out as one in the press box when Tamim drove past the stumps. Stopped by mid-on though. Well stopped. Imrul gets a single as well, off the mark to cover. That’ll help for confidence after his first few balls up the other end. Not for nothing that Australia lost a review in that over, by the way. 51 overs to play with, one referral in the kit.
NOT OUT! Going over. By a decent amount. Hit juuuuust on the knee roll, and the Australian quick was pleading in his appeal, running all the way down before he completed the roar. In turn, Smith almost had to go up to back in young man. But not to be.
HAS CUMMINS TRAPPED TAMIM? Aleem Dar says no. Smith wants another look. Upstairs we go!
28th over: Bangladesh 61-2 (Tamim 42, Imrul 0)
The new man Imrul Kayes, coming off a shocker first time up, is a bit nervous to begin. Lyon finds his edge, but straight to ground. “I think Australia were hoping for a wash out today, otherwise it could be all over for them by close of business,” suggests Scott Lowe on the email. “Bangladesh batting is still inconsistent but should get enough, you would think. And with Warner a walking wicket, they have no hope of chasing more than 200.”
Oohhh, they needed that. Lyon has one to go straight on at the left-hander. He’s on the crease, misses, pad instead. Plum. Umpire Llong up with the appeal, and no serious consideration of a referral. Crucial to get the nightwatchman in the first handful of overs, and they’ve done that. Now to start again.
27th over: Bangladesh 61-1 (Tamim 42, Taijul 4)
Timely Cummins maiden to settle things down a bit. Tamim happy enough to defend this time around. Cummins up a couple of kph as well. Can only help. Reckon it’ll be Agar very soon though. He looked the best of Australia’s bowlers last night.
26th over: Bangladesh 61-1 (Tamim 42, Taijul 4)
Party time, excellent! Taijul getting into it first ball of Lyon’s fresh one, slashing from deep in the crease to the point rope. So that’s four boundaries in 19 balls so far today, the lead into triple figures as well.
25th over: Bangladesh 57-1 (Tamim 42, Taijul 0)
Tamim continues to go hard at Cummins, missing a drive to begin but not through lack of effort. Inside edge-ish, though. Better off the pads though, his third boundary of the morning. Fantastic start for the locals. The 50-Test champion into the 40s after 75 in the first dig. Had a good yak with him a couple of days before the Test. Fair to say absolutely no motivation required for him to again be a matchwinner in a huge fixture for his country, as he was against England here last year, making a defining ton in their first ever triumph against them.
24th over: Bangladesh 53-1 (Tamim 38, Taijul 0)
Nathan Lyon from the broadcast end. He’s throwing it up immediately to the nightwatchman Taijul, who looks pretty solid to be fair. Noted the other day that he doesn’t average more than in any form of professional cricket, so he’s not much a go with the bat on paper. But can’t question his defence initially here. Big day for Lyon.
Lyon tries a couple slower deliveries - Shakib and Mehedi speed - and immediately gets more bite out of surface #BANvAUS
23rd over: Bangladesh 53-1 (Tamim 38, Taijul 0)
There’s one way to start, Bangladesh’s lead swells from 88 to 96 in the space of the opening over, Cummins thrashed behind point by Tamim to the rope first ball of the day. Then does it again a few balls later! Make the runs while the deck is good and the seamers are on? Whatever the strategy, it is effective.
We’re away! Cummins has the ball, Tamim in strike. Day three: PLAY!
How are you seeing it?
OBO works best when we talk. So let’s do that. Hit me up on the email for your considered throughts. Twitter for your hot takes and nonsense. I’m into all of it. I’ve had a bit of a pop in an article overnight about Australia’s historical attitudes to Bangladesh and how it pervades the thinking and influences peformance. What do you reckon?
A hot and sticky morning to you from Sher-a-Bangla National Stadium. I’ve successfully sweated through my shirt between the car and the gate. But better perspitation than precipitation; there is once again no rain despite what we were hearing last night about today being a wash out. Indeed, it is the nicest morning we’ve had yet. Bit of cloudcover, but the sun burning through it rather quickly.
Australia will need to take its lead and burn through Bangladesh quickly as they can this morning, already 88 behind with nine local wickets to find. They include the fellas playing their 50th Tests, Tamim who is in there now on 30, and Shakib who already has 84 in the first dig and five-for with the ball. The world’s top-ranked all-rounder for good reason.
Adam will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s the state of play after two days of cricket in Dhaka:
What a session that was! For West Indies in particular, but the seven billion or so citizens of
nowhere the world too. 113 runs, a fantastic partnership, two fantastic innings, some losings of tempers and bare tension in general. We may well be about to see something special - join me in 20 minutes to find out.
61st over: West Indies 199-3 (S Hope 74, Chase 1) target 322 There’s time for one more over before tea, and Jimmy-James will bowl it. He’ll want a
shai shy at Chase and gets the first three balls, but yerman does well and then skives down the other end. Three dots, and that’s tea.
60th over: West Indies 198-3 (S Hope 74, Chase 1) target 322 You could see England’s relief in how they celebrated that wicket, but there’s still work to do. In the meantime, though, well bowled Moeen Ali, who risked handing an opponent a historic landmark with a much slower delivery, and well taken Ben Stokes.
Moeen tosses a tempter outside off stump, Brathwaite can’t help but have a drive, and he edges to slip. In its 534th first-class match, Headingley still waits for its first two-innings centurion. What a knock that was! What composure! What skill! What testicles!
60th over: West Indies 197-2 (Brathwaite 95, S Hope 74) target 322 England have chilled out the scoring these last few overs, but will Brathwaite try and get his hunnert before tea as he did in the first innings?
59th over: West Indies 197-2 (Brathwaite 95, S Hope 74) target 322 Brathwaite guides through wide mid-off and they run two; Anderson has a heavily biased off side field, and presumably will bowl outside of off stump, given he has neither fine leg nor square leg. But the best ball of the over is directed towards the stump, turning Brathwaite around ... but he still gets bat on it.
58th over: West Indies 194-2 (Brathwaite 92, S Hope 74) target 322 Hope has a swing at Moeen - not like that - and misses entirely, just outside off. He does better next ball, but the bowler gathers by the stumps. Maiden.
57th over: West Indies 194-2 (Brathwaite 92, S Hope 74) target 322 In comes Anderson again, four runs from the over. And, as John Starbuck chides, “Daniel, I think I heard tea was to be put back until 15:55, so not imminent until ten-to-four.”
My apologies to all I offended.
56th over: West Indies 190-2 (Brathwaite 89, S Hope 74) target 322 Moeen is coming back, a change I find a little harder to explain. For the first time this afternoon, England were building pressure with pace; it looked like a ruse worth a bit more time. Brathwaite takes a single into the off side and then Hope is diddled by one which dips sharply; he gets a thin edge to it and survives. The next ball is a goodun too, turning and striking the pad, but Hope was outside the line and then goes deep in the crease to glance four down the hill. This is tense, beautiful, intensifying, affirming stuff.
55th over: West Indies 185-2 (Brathwaite 88, S Hope 70) target 322 Ah! Now we’re talkin’. England are complaining about the ball, Stokes holding it like he’s pulled it out of his nose, but the umpires are having no such thing. Anyway, he’s bowling a bit fuller now, which allows Brathwaite to crump him down through long on with minimal foot movement; bat was more or less perpendicular to pad at the point of impact, so well was that picked that up. This match has been and is such a pleasure, and it’s only going to get better. If this gear doesn’t grab you by the head, heart and soul, maybe try being a different species.
54th over: West Indies 180-2 (Brathwaite 83, S Hope 70) target 322 England change tack, bringing Anderson back for Broad. Obviously such a decision needs no explanation, all the more so with tea imminent, but I thought they might have tried the short stuff for a while longer. Two off the over as the ground fills up and, once again, I find myself noting that Tests last five days because that’s how long Tests need to last. Even those that finish in three or four do so because of the possibility of a fifth day.
400+ balls faced in a Test by WI openers most times
4 G Greenidge 3 C Gayle/ K BRATHWAITE* 2 L Rowe/ D Haynes#ENGvWI
53rd over: West Indies 178-2 (Brathwaite 83, S Hope 68) target 322 Stokes eventually tempts Brathwaite into the shot he’s been dangling in front of his nose, a pull; he doesn’t get through it, but gets enough of it to add four. Those runs are really important after three consecutively miserly overs, and three more follow it.
“If West Indies do manage to pull this off,” says Venugopal Mani, “will Warne and co finally shut up about ‘sporting declarations’ and understand that Root (and Cook before him) are there to win matches for England and entertainment shouldn’t come before winning from a captain’s point of view? Does this explain Australian selectors’ reluctance to select Warne as captain?”
52nd over: West Indies 171-2 (Brathwaite 76, S Hope 67) target 322 If you’re finding the performance of Brathwaite and Hope as inspirational and invigorating as I am, allow me to sprinkle the same with some mortification: they are 24 and 23 respectively! Have that! On the other hand, do they know where Romeo Zondervan was born? Bryan Robson’s birthday? Exactly. Anyway, Broad whooshes one at Brathwaite, a smidgeon of movement away meaning it misses his edge. There’s an appeal nonetheless, but they leave it there. Still, this is much better from England - aided by the crowd, who are cheering each delivery in now. In finding a bit of fire and conviction, they’re also limiting the runs, though we should note that the batsmen are still playing very nicely.
51st over: West Indies 169-2 (Brathwaite 75, S Hope 67) target 322 England bring in a leg gully and have a man on the upper cut too; it’s time for some teeth music. Nasser wants a short leg in, as that’s where the fend tends to go, and one does, immediately, though not in the air. In my primary school playground, when one team got a penalty, the other would stand behind the line chanting “Na-ked women! Na-ked women!” Maybe that’s worth a try. Anyway, one off the over, and perhaps this short stuff is also part of a plan to staunch/devout the flow of runs; I can’t believe either of these two will give it away hooking.
50th over: West Indies 168-2 (Brathwaite 74, S Hope 67) target 322 In commentary, Nasser is wondering whether West indies will go too early, which tells you how comfortable they are; Beefy points out that there are so many overs left, they don’t have top go at all, but can just bat. Around Headingley, the crowd start making a row hoping Broad will respond - it’s been a while since his last fourth-innings ridiculousness, but all he can muster here is a maiden.
49th over: West Indies 168-2 (Brathwaite 74, S Hope 67) target 322 A quiet over, but one which nonetheless yields four runs. West Indies are doing this like it’s nothing; it’s not nothing.
“In further response to Paul Collins,” emails Brian Withington, “the extra six overs bowled last night might allow the second new ball to be a viable last chance saloon for England. Assuming Braithwaite and Hope are not still batting. And as I write that sentence Moeen Ali comes up with a cunning plan to bury the second new ball scenario ...”
48th over: West Indies 164-2 (Brathwaite 72, S Hope 66) target 322 West Indies have maintained a decent lick throughout this session; the way it’s going, if they stay in, they’ll win, and with something to spare. Hope just looks so relaxed at the crease, and when Broad bangs one in he rides it beautifully, taking a hand off the handle and caressing it into the turf.
47th over: West Indies 163-2 (Brathwaite 71, S Hope 66) target 322 Stokes into the attack for the first time this innings, as commentary wonder if Broad kicking the pitch is against the laws. Meanwhile, when Hope uses soft hands to edge Stokes for four, he too experiences ire “Jesus, man!” he cries, and all right-thinking people are offended. I’d ban him for 53 Tests. Broad appears to be warned at the end of the over, and the umpire has a quiet one with Root too.
A few of you are suggesting we should be scared of RGD Willis, and I suppose his ability to hurl a projectile at pace is ultimately frightening if you’re on strike. But I suppose what I’m saying is that I’d back
DL Harris A Flintoff and IT Botham to take care of business should it ever come to that.
46th over: West Indies 155-2 (Brathwaite 70, S Hope 59) target 322 Brathwaite defends down ther pitch and running around from mid on, Anderson tries to pick up with his left hand, transfer to his right hand, and shy at the stumps. But he misses the first part, and the ball runs to the fence. Ah. So Broad , easily England’s best bowler today, beats Brathwaite with a leg-cutter as Beefy notes the increasing cloud cover That might help England, but leg side filth will not, and Brathwaite brings up a brilliant century stand with a whip to fine leg. It’s a funny session this, tense and exciting, yet not at all so because of how composedly West Indies are batting. Broad, though, is ticking, kicking turf, air and stuff, so needle and aggro are probably en route.
45th over: West Indies 147-2 (Brathwaite 62, S Hope 59) target 322 Hope pays two backfoot pulls off Moeen, the first of them murderous; both go for four. These things are all relative, but this is easy for West Indies at the moment.
44th over: West Indies 136-2 (Brathwaite 59, S Hope 51) target 322 Hope is a fine player, and he snaps four off his pads at the same time as rising on his tippytoes, thus bringing up his 50. What a lovely shot that was. Broad then powers one through him as Hope walks down the pitch. The ball was very close to the edge, the reprieve was earned by the movement at the crease; attacking options, a life lesson for us all there.
43rd over: West Indies 132-2 (Brathwaite 59, S Hope 47) target 322 Loop from Moeen and drift follows; he’s been bowling pretty flat today. So David Gower, who ought to have a fourth initial - I suppose Ivon is worth two - wonders if he actually nipped off to have a chat with Saqlain. Incidentally, Saqlain has my favourite bio in all Twitter - apart from, perhaps, Sugar Shane Mosley. Imagine being able to say these things of yourself and these things being true. Three off the over, all to Hope.
42nd over: West Indies 129-2 (Brathwaite 59, S Hope 44) target 322 Broad finds a bit of extra bounce, forcing Hope to take one on the glove. Then he moves one in, only to be foiled by an inside edge; better from England, but West Indies are inching towards something monumentally special.
“What are your thoughts on Joe Root’s declaration last night?” asks Paul Collins. |I thought it was pretty negative myself. England, with Woakes going so well, had a chance to bat WI out of the match and ensure going to Lords up in the series, while still giving themselves 75-80 overs today to possibly bowl out WI. It seemed to me like the type of sporting declaration you see in County Cricket, not the action of a ruthless International captain.”
41st over: West Indies 128-2 (Brathwaite 59, S Hope 43) target 322 Moeen takes the ball immediately, and rustles through another maiden.
A few of you have noted that IVA and CEL had four initials, and you’d not mess with them. Well, you wouldn’t. I, of course, would. I meant to type the word “English”; if you refresh, you’ll see that it’s now there, so send corrections in that regard please/
40th over: West Indies 128-2 (Brathwaite 59, S Hope 43) target 322 Moeen is off the field, so Broad will shy at Shai; if you give it the Israeli pronunciation, those two words are homonyms. We see a shot of Moeen peering around a door and for a second it looks like he’s in the McDump position, trying to keep an eye on the game, but actually he’s on his way back and trying to remain unobtrusive. Anyway, a maiden, and things are quiet in the middle, exactly what England do not want.
“I’m not as confident as some regarding Woakes’ England future,” emails Kevin Wilson. “So far, he’s got cheap home wickets against an undercooked Sri Lanka and Pakistan, but it’s his batting that’s arguably been his stronger suit. I don’t think he was the right pick for this Test and fingers crossed he’ll prove me wrong. He’s an excellent one day bowler though.”
39th over: West Indies 128-2 (Brathwaite 59, S Hope 43) target 322 I said Root would throw Broad the ball, but perhaps it’ll be Stokes asked to pick a fight. That should be fun, provided he doesn’t upset the authorities by coughing aggressively or blatantly glancing at an opponent.
38th over: West Indies 126-2 (Brathwaite 58, S Hope 42) target 322 Woakes showed enough in that last over to be given another, but his first delivery is on the pads and Hope doesn’t miss out, clipping it to finest leg for four. That takes the runs required to below 200; is something happening here? Woakes then digs one in and cracks yerman on the finger, but he soon shakes it off and gets on with things. He and Brathwaite are finding this pretty straightforward at the moment.
37th over: West Indies 120-2 (Brathwaite 58, S Hope 36) target 322 The partnership is 66 as Moeen begins another over, but Brathwaite seems to have his number, moving towards off stump, eliminating lb, and playing late. At some point Joe Root is going to give Broad the ball and ask him to be scary, I’d guess. Is it possible to be English and scary with four initials?
36th over: West Indies 119-2 (Brathwaite 58, S Hope 35) target 322 This’ll be Woakes’ last over, I shouldn’t wonder. He doesn’t look at all happy, and floats a fifth-stump half-volley that Brathwaite easily flicks through midwicket for four. But he finds something shortly afterwards, pushing one through that hits the seam, nips in, and beats Brathwaite who inside-edges onto his pad anyway.
35th over: West Indies 115-2 (Brathwaite 54, S Hope 35) target 322 Moeen into the attack; England will be relying on him to sort this, not always a circumstance in which he’s thrived. Brathwaite drives his third ball, and at silly mid on, Anderson dives to divert onto the stumps; Hope stood his ground, else he was gone, gone gone.
‘Whilst I can’t contemplate cheering on the opposition,” emails Neil Harris, “a part of me does wish a bloody nose on England. Imagine if we were 1-0 up going into the MCG test? Would England drop an in form player (TRJ) to get some miles into another players legs (Woakes) – I doubt it, and if on the 4th evening we found ourselves 320 runs to the good, do you think we’d even think for a second about declaring? – I very much doubt it. You should take every opponent seriously, and I feel we haven’t here.”
34th over: West Indies 114-2 (Brathwaite 53, S Hope 35) target 322 Mikey Holding is saying that Richie Richardson marked his card about Shai Hope, and he’s Whatsapped him to praise his recommendation. How do I get invited to that group? I want in, lads. Anyway, the aforementioned Hope spanks a drive for four through long off, and this is now a really handy start for West Indies ... and for us too, because things are shaping right up.
33rd over: West Indies 106-2 (Brathwaite 52, S Hope 28) target 322 If I was going to be called Craig, I’d definitely want it spelled Kraigg. Qureyg. Anyway, Hope drives Anderson to backward point for four, then edges four more through third man. If West Indies can stay in the win here is on; what an achievement that would be.
“In fact we could have two double centurions couldn’t we?” returns Paddy Sturdee. “Which would be nice. And make the Lord’s Test a tad more interesting, rather than just a final trial for who’s going to Australia.”
32nd over: West Indies 97-2 (Brathwaite 52, S Hope 19) target 322 Brathwaite pulls through midwicket for three, raising a fine half-century - to bat well in these conditions, against this attack, under such scoreboard pressure requires major moxie and skill. Meanwhile, in commentary they note that Woakes’ pace is down this Test, perhaps to be expected after so long out. I’m sure he’ll get it back.
31st over: West Indies 91-2 (Brathwaite 49, S Hope 16) target 322 Anderson flies in at Hope and a jaffa, wobble seam, hitting the seam, swinging, extracts a bit of extra bounce while I wonder if those words make any kind of sentence. Either it’s far too good for the batsman, turning him around outside off as he tries to turn to leg, but the next delivery doesn’t move and is snapped to the boundary for four.
“Is it Brexit?” asks Tom Carver. “No, Brexit is an expression of our glorious sovereignty and a necessary disentanglement from foreigners before Britannia can once again rule the waves. But it might nonetheless be British. I’m English/Australian and have been ticked off by my wife for supporting the West Indies and Bangladesh in the current games. She is Belgian, and doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t want my teams to win… Something to do with underdogs and fair play etc.”
30th over: West Indies 87-2 (Brathwaite 49, S Hope 12) target 322 Woakes has the ball and after Hope takes a single, England relocate a slip to short leg for Brathwaite. Brathwaite likes French cricket, says Nasser, and on cue Woakes spirits one through him as he squares up trying to play late.
West Indies need 236 runs, England need eight wickets, it’s not going to rain, we’ve bare overs remaining, it’s dark, we’re wearing sunglasses, all four results are possible. Hit it!
Right then, the players are back with us and here we go.
Lunchtime email: “Through TMS, and probably elsewhere, we were told yesterday - amazingly - nobody has ever made a century in both innings at Headingley, not just in Tests but in all forms of first class cricket,” emails Paddy Sturdee. “What price Brathwaite changes that? I hope he does frankly, has played really well throughout and doesn’t deserve to be on the losing side.”
Me too. And if he does - if he can make it a daddy and add another 100 - West Indies might just pull this off. I hope they do, I suppose; is it Brexit to think to the contrary?
Afternoon all. What West Indies need here is some Gordon Greenidge at Lord’s 1984. By amazing coincidence and by way of some lunchtime reading, here’s an essay on that wondrous genius.
Well that was a pretty damn fine morning of Test cricket, all told – all three results are still possible, there was some decent disciplined batting, probing bowling, a freakish dismissal and another dismal drop. So there’s no real reason to do anything this afternoon other than join Daniel Harris for the next session. You can bother him here. Before I go, a couple more missives from you, the public: “Woakes is bowling too straight here. Not taking advantage of the movement off the pitch,” grumbles Matt Arnott on Twitter, while Ray Reardon wonders: “If Kraigg Brathwaite scores a hundred or even longer odds, carries his bat for the West Indies second innings, will we get a replication of Ian Bishop’s ‘remember the name’ acclamation after Carlos Braithwaite batted the West Indies to a T20 win over England?” We’ll find out soon enough. See you later. Bye.
29th over: West Indies 86-2 (Brathwaite 49, S Hope 11), target 322. Hope nudges one round the corner for a single off Moeen, who maintains his close legside-heavy field for Brathwaite. It’s good pressure. And that’s lunch.
28th over: West Indies 85-2 (Brathwaite 49, S Hope 10), target 322. Who would you make man of the match here? Much depends on events still ahead of us, of course, but there’s a hell of a lot of contenders, and Brathwaite must be in with a shout, even if West Indies lose. He can’t work anything off this Woakes over, however, which is fast and mainly true, and a maiden.
“Incredible that there was also a non striker run out in the Bang vs Aus game this morning,” marvels Matthew Wassell. “How rare they are and yet two on the same day!” Which prompts me to remind you all that Australia closed on 109-2 in pursuit of 265, with Warner still in and having scored a wapping 75 of them. Details here.
27th over: West Indies 85-2 (Brathwaite 49, S Hope 10), target 322. Review! Some smart Bairstow glovework from a Moeen left-to-right drifter prompts a stumping review against Brathwaite, but the batsman was in his ground. He then moves to 49 with a single through the offside.
26th over: West Indies 84-2 (Brathwaite 48, S Hope 10), target 322. Woakes yelps for an lbw after spearing one in at Hope’s pads but it hadn’t straightened enough to hit, and the appeal is rebuffed. Hope then plays a wonderfully smart improvised back-foot punch down the ground for four. Without forcing the issue, West Indies’ run rate looks in pretty healthy nick at the moment. They need another 238.
25th over: West Indies 79-2 (Brathwaite 48, S Hope 6), target 322. Brathwaite goes big, advancing a step and clubbing Moeen over long-on for four. Moeen has two catchers in close on the legside and one on the off for Brathwaite, who nonetheless can work him away for a single. The field is less close in for Hope, who adds another.
24th over: West Indies 73-2 (Brathwaite 43, S Hope 4), target 322. Broad’s long, excellent spell is brought to an end and Woakes replaces him at the Kirkstall Lane end. A couple of looseners, a couple on the money, a single to Hope and two leg-byes down to fine leg are its features.
23rd over: West Indies 70-2 (Brathwaite 43, S Hope 3), target 322. Hope’s off the mark at least with a neat three off Moeen, who then exercises his lungs with an exceedingly hopeful leg-before shout at an outside-the-line Brathwaite. “Do we need to enquire what you and Bob O’Hara were both smoking that you neglected to mention G A Gooch’s immortal second innings as the defining feature of the 1991 Headingley Test?!” insinuates Brian Withington. Not at all. I have bored enough people over the years with my dribblings on how Gooch’s 154 was the greatest innings I have ever seen live that I thought I’d lay off it today, for once.
22nd over: West Indies 67-2 (Brathwaite 43, S Hope 0), target 322. This is Broad’s best session of the match by some distance – he rips a proper ‘too good for thee lad’ snorter off the seam past Brathwaite’s outside edge but Brathwaite responds with a crunching straight drive down the ground for four. Ball of the day contender followed by shot of the day contender there. An easy two follows. Lots of fine cricket in that over.
21st over: West Indies 61-2 (Brathwaite 37, S Hope 0), target 322. Moeen has Hope scrambling defensively on the back foot with one that’s lower and quicker than anticipated before then finding turn and bounce outside off. He then has Hope outside-edging into Bairstow’s shins with another slightly quicker one. An excellent over. West Indies need to regroup a bit here.
“How about a link to today’s Big Paper centrefold, the pictures of Masai people playing cricket?” asks John Starbuck. “Not all OBO readers will have seen this, but the players are pretty dynamic and probably didn’t play in 1984 or 1991.” I would, of course, advise buying Big Paper itself to see it in all its glory but you can savour it here if you need.
20th over: West Indies 61-2 (Brathwaite 37, S Hope 0), target 322. A DROP and a WICKET in the same movement, then, with Broad spilling a chance off Brathwaite only to run out the luckless Hope at the other end. Broad continues to bowl excellently, inducing two edges from Brathwaite that both go for four past and then through the slips before he has to change bats. But in the circumstances Broad will be happy enough at the discomfort he continues to cause the batsmen.
What a way to go. Brathwaite drives at Broad, who spills the catch but parries it onto the stumps with Hope out of his ground at the non-striker’s end. Broad should have got Brathwaite, but he’s got his partner out instead, for nowt.
19th over: West Indies 53-1 (Brathwaite 29, K Hope 0), target 322. The first bowling change of the day sees Moeen on for Anderson. He finds a bit of zip and turn but Brathwaite deals with it all well enough, adding another single. “I was at the 1991 Headingley test (two days before my last finals exam),” writes Bob O’Hara, “and my impression is that the turning points were the innings of Pringle & Malcolm. At least they are who we were cheering on. Can’t remember who was at the other end at the time.” Have we ever met, Bob, or at least staggered past each other in the Original Oak or some such? These were more or less the circumstances in which I was there too (and if this reminisci-stuff wasn’t boring everyone before, it sure is now).
18th over: West Indies 52-1 (Brathwaite 28, K Hope 0), target 322. Brathwaite on-drives Broad for two, but the bowler’s still finding some nice new-ball bounce and zip, 18 overs in. He’s mixed up his lengths excellently this morning, but Brathwaite has largely been equal to it, and he snaffles a quick single to round off the over.
17th over: West Indies 49-1 (Brathwaite 25, K Hope 0), target 322. Brathwaite is subjected to an optimistic review for a slip catch, taken low in front of him by Westley, but replays show it bounced. He then drives cleanly for three to take us for drinks after an absorbing hour’s play.“Much as I loved Daffy,: trills Richard O’ Hagan as the OBO’s I Love 1984 series segues effortlessly/tediously into a 1991 edition, “I think you’ll find that it was Steve Watkin, on his Test debut, who ripped the heart out of the West Indies in that second innings.” Yeah, but as someone who was present for the last two days of that match, the psychological blow inflicted by De Freitas snaring Simmons first ball late on day four felt like the match-turner.
Did Westley claim this before it bounced? Anderson has his arm aloft, but not quite in total conviction. Westley claims he scooped it up. The umpires send it upstairs, but the ball clearly did bounce and Brathwaite survives.
16th over: West Indies 46-1 (Brathwaite 22, K Hope 0), target 322. Brathwaite, looking settled now, adds a two and one off Broad, but the occasional ball is keeping low and just as I start to prepare a sentence about how these two are headed for the highest opening stand of the series, Powell drives to Stokes at second slip and gives Broad a deserved scalp.
The slip catch for which Broad has been bowling finally arrives, Powell induced skilfully into the drive, which is edged to Stokes who catches comfortably.
15th over: West Indies 43-0 (Brathwaite 19, Powell 23), target 322. It’s not quite happening for Anderson this morning, particularly to Powell, to whom he switches to round the wicket but is then promptly dabbed behind square on the offside for four. “Is it tempting fate to ask which of the West Indies openers are going to be Mark Butcher (Headingly 2001),” asks Matthew Doherty. Or perhaps, which England bowler is going to be Phil DeFreitas (Headingley 1991, if I may invoke another of my all-time favourite sporting contests).
14th over: West Indies 39-0 (Brathwaite 19, Powell 19), target 322. Broad has been largely excellent this session, and he zips another beauty off the seam past Powell’s outside edge, but then concedes four when Powell square-drives expansively to the ropes off a fuller one. He then pushes through the same area for a single and Brathwaite adds another.
Some wise thoughts from Jonathan Fortune: “What’s odd about ‘particular demographic of English cricket fan that is an utter bore on the subject of West Indies’ all-conquering team of the mid-80s’ is that is ignores how brilliant they could be in the 1990s. The 1995 tourists were brilliant to watch and had enough to threaten any team in the world with Richie Richardson, Carl Hooper, Brian Lara, Jimmy Adams, Chiv Chanderpaul, Curtly Ambrose, Courtney Walsh and Ian Bishop. I will admit to being born in 1979, so I spent more time watching Ambrose and Walsh from behind the sofa than I did Holding, Garner, Marshall et al, but the West Indies have been in the upper echelons of Test cricket since the mid 1980s. When we talk of the demise of West Indian Test cricket, it seems as though its the 1990s generation of players that hasn’t consistently been replaced, not that of the 1980s.”
13th over: West Indies 32-0 (Brathwaite 17, Powell 14), target 322. West Indies will be pleased to have got through the first half-hour, in trying circumstances, without losing a wicket. It’s not been easy for them. Brathwaite thick-edges past gully for four off an Anderson lifter and is then subject to a nagging lbw appeal that the bowler is keener on than his captain, who declines to review the not-out decision. Rightly, as he’d been struck outside the line. But Jimmy’s getting closer, leaving Brathwaite befuddled by one that keeps low outside off-stump. It’s fascinating stuff, this, of the sort that only the fourth innings and fifth day of a Test match can produce.
12th over: West Indies 28-0 (Brathwaite 13, Powell 14), target 322. Brathwaite produces the first properly emphatic attacking shot of the day, creaming Broad past mid-off for four. A quick, usefully strike-rotating, single follows, which gives Powell a chance to unfurl a rather lovely shot himself, a firm on-drive for four more off the sort of fullish delivery that Broad has been aiming at the left-hander, with four slips in. His comeback ball is high-class know, a tricky lifter past the outside-edge.
11th over: West Indies 19-0 (Brathwaite 8, Powell 10), target 322. Powell flicks another slightly awry legside delivery from Anderson down to the boundary for four, before Jimmy resets himself and slants some better, more challenging deliveries across him outside off-stump.
10th over: West Indies 15-0 (Brathwaite 8, Powell 6), target 322. The floodlights are on, adding to the seamer’s paradise vibe, but Brathwaite is largely untroubled, until he dabs and misses at a lovely teasing outswinger and is then DROPPED when the next one finds his outside-edge and flies to Cook at first slip who puts it down. What a Test this has been for drops (11 in all) – a lot of 50p fines will be being gathered in those dressing rooms.
9th over: West Indies 11-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 7), target 322. Anderson, up the hill from the Rugby stand end, struggles a tad with his line at the left-handed Powell, sending a few too many harmlessly down legside. West Indies decline to score from it though.
8th over: West Indies 11-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 7), target 322. Broad’s first ball, round the wicket at Powell, is a beauty, full and moving off the seam, but it’s squirted past the slips for four. A quick single follows, but it’s a good over from Broad, who’s had an up-and-down kind of match – pace, bounce, movement, the works.
“I remember that West Indies Lords test from 1984,” writes Nick Parish, “although only dimly as I was 10 and it was the first series I followed in detail. Was that the one where for the first time in the entire series England were on top, only for Allan Lamb to accept an offer of bad light and go off when he had his foot on the West Indian throat? It looks from the scorecard as though it might be.” Possibly, though Lamb had a lot of credit in the bank that summer as he (and sometimes Graeme Fowler) were about the only England batsmen who managed to stand up to that terrific pace attack during the series. Though Botham too had a stormer in that particular Test at Lord’s, and was largely responsible for England’s four-day dominance thanks to his eight-wicket haul in the tourists’ first innings.
7th over: West Indies 6-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 2), target 322. Jimmy gets us going but, unlike on Sunday, neither of his first two deliveries of the day bring a wicket. But not for the want of trying, the first moves and bounces awkwardly away from the left-handed Powell, while the second is nudged off his hips by the opener for a single. And the third is jagged into Brathwaite’s pads and prompts an lbw appeal, spurned on height grounds. The rest of the over is bang on the money and Brathwaite can only see it out. A tasty tone-setter.
The players are making their way out …
Meanwhile, play is under way around the counties. And you can follow what’s going on with one-man county cricket encyclopedia Will Macpherson, who’s at The Oval, right here:
The Holder situation has summoned forth the OBO People’s Court in numbers, citing a number of contradictory precedents in case law. “How many demerit points did Ricky Ponting get after calling the crowd a bunch of f-ing c-s as he walked off in the 2005 T20?” thunders The Monk of Junk on the Twitters, while Tapan Pandya adds: If rabada before and holder is now given demerit points…. why was Mr. stokes only reprimanded and not docked demerit points? Somebody tell ICC to be consistent at least even in its idiocy.”
The start has been delayed to 11.15. Some light rain earlier has nudged the starting time back a quarter of an hour.Jimmy Anderson, closing on 500, will be licking his lips at these conditions – we have proper Headingley cloud cover, though Moeen Ali, who’s been England’s key final-day figure all summer, may well have a big say too. It was turning like a good’un at times yesterday.
Back to disciplinary matters, here’s Richard O’Hagan: “Has anyone noted that players in this game are being penalised for swearing by DAVID BOON? Talk about the pot calling the kettle...”
First email of the day: “Hi Tom.” Hi Neil Harris. “Just a thought on five-day Test cricket, if the chairman of Yorkshire had his way we wouldn’t be playing this game today. I wonder if he’d like to donate the gate/bar receipts that he’ll receive today to a worthwhile cause?”
Talking of the wisdom of authority figures, looks like the ICC have been clutching their collective pearls again …
Jason Holder has been given a demerit point for swearing after Powell dropped a catch !!!!!!!!!! What is this game coming too @ICC !!?????
Some other things to read about before we start. Over in Dhaka, for example, we have a properly absorbing Test match going on, with Bangladesh inching to a lead of 250-plus over Australia in their second innings of the first Test. They’re currently 221 for 9 and Jonathan Howcroft can tell you much more about it, live, here.
Alternatively, you may want to, and in fact very much should want to, read this week’s Spin, in which Tanya Aldred exhorts the virtues of digging in with this paean to the game’s grinders and slow-and-steady run accumulators:
There is a particular demographic of English cricket fan that is an utter bore on the subject of West Indies’ all-conquering team of the mid-80s, forever riffing nostalgically on their youthful awe at the fierce, compelling brilliance of Greenidge-Haines-Gomes-Richards-Lloyd-Dujon-Baptiste-Marshall-Harper-Garner-Holding (you think I had to look at any of that XI up? As if!), to the extent it must be profoundly tedious to contemporary West Indies cricketers and fans. I am one of those dullards, and I apologise. So, when faced with West Indies being set a tantalising last-day pursuit of 300+, we don’t think “well, this lot will have folded by the middle of the afternoon, this one’s in the bag”, but are instead transported back to this game, at Lord’s 33 years ago - an astonishing last day run chase at a time when the idea of scoring 300 on the last day, and one batsman alone making more than 200 of them, was the stuff of a madman’s dreams.
Nothing like Gordon Greenidge’s astonishing assault will happen today, but that’s not to say this will necessarily be an England procession. West Indies, mostly, batted with excellent judgment and application in their first innings – characteristics that rather went missing again in the field yesterday – but will have to find them again if they are to avoid defeat, or pull off an improbable win. The tourists will be kicking themselves, while England will be basking in the joys of having a team that can bat deep, that Moeen-Woakes partnership having the look of the match’s pivotal one, a match’s mood altered in barely a session’s worth of cricket.
Hosts win by 20 runs in first Test victory over Australia
On that note, I must run.
Steve Smith is about to start his media conference. Thanks for your wonderful company this week. We’ve had a classic. Can’t wait to do it all again in Chittagong on the 4th. Here’s an initial match report:
The Prime Minister is there. She was in for the final bit. Nice touch.
The presentation.
About to start on the field. Stand by for what Steve Smith and Mushfiqur Rahim have to say. Plenty, I suspect.
The spinners.
All ten wickets between them in the second dig, expertly rotated by Mushfiqur when it mattered most. Shakib the mainstay, bowling all day from one end. Mehedi’s return brought a wicket inside two balls, the penultimate required, and Taijul got the winner within moments of his. Shakib’s 50th Test finishes the way it deserves for a champion of this game, five wickets in each innings to go with a vital 84 on day one, the highest score for Bangladesh in either innings. He’s the top-billed all-rounder on the planet for a reason, and he’s shown it at Mirpur.
England, Sri Lanka, Australia.
Bangladesh have knocked off each of them for the first time inside ten months. Back to back victories at their home of cricket Dhaka, quickly becoming a fortress. Cummins resistance would powerful and most worthy, taking Australia again to the brink, but a familiar collapse either side of the lunch interval meant the damage was done. Coming the day after West Indies mounted the least likely series comeback in modern memory, this is proof positive that Test cricket is alive and well. Make no mistake about it.
The bowling change has worked, Taijul goes around the wicket to Hazlewood and beats his stoic defence, trapping the left-hander plum in front. Bangladesh have beaten Australia for the first time. It is a glorious scene, the press box erupts, the stands go wild. What a moment. What a Test Match.
70th over: Australia 244-9 (Cummins 33, Hazlewood 0)
21 to win as the over begins. Shakib into his 28th over. Cummins respectful of the man who has five and nine for the match. Watching despite all the men out and only one in close alongside the slip. Two balls to go but the field isn’t brought up. Sloppy captaincy? Does he wait until the sixth? He does. Defends again. Field in now? No. Five men remain out. Bold from Mushfiqur. But beautifully done by Shakib, ensuring Cummins has to pat it back. A maiden. Deep breath, Australia.
69th over: Australia 244-9 (Cummins 33, Hazlewood 0)
Standing tall, Cummins goes BIG to Mehedi’s first ball here, over the square leg boundary. Not for nothing given three men are already out there. A fourth now joins them. He goes for it regardless, albeit without making contact, gloving over the ‘keeper. And again: lashing the off-spin behind square leg with force for two, a nice diving stop by one of the various sweepers. It prompts a mid-over chat between captain Mushfiqur and his bowler. The batsmen conference as well. Cummins defends a slightly shorter ball. Intrigue. Up comes midwicket with two balls to go. HE GOES AGAIN! SIX OVER SQUARE LEG! This has gone further again! 22 to win! Last ball - single, hacking. Matters not: strike retained. BLOODY HELL! 15 from it. Ladies and gents, you are witnessing a classic.
68th over: Australia 229-9 (Cummins 18, Hazlewood 0)
Only one man catching for Cummins, the field spread to encourage him to turn the strike to Hazlewood. He does precisely that with a drive down the ground off Shakib’s penultimate delivery. He defends.
Is it just me or does Shakib's rapid-breath LBW appeals sound like urban foxes mating in London? Either way, masterful baller. #BANvAUS
67th over: Australia 228-9 (Cummins 17 Hazlewood 0)
Hazlewood the last man. On his way home tomorrow, what will his final act before the injury lay off deliver? We’ve seen him bat very competently at no. 11, including a vital 40-odd in Dominica a couple of years back to help Adam Voges to the most unlikely of tons on debut. But mostly, he can stick around. He does that well enough here, well forward to the remainder of Mehedi’s over. A wicket maiden. Fantastic bowling change.
This really has been some capitulation. 6/58 since Drinks in the first session... #BANvAUS
Mehedi is back, at last, and second ball he’s broken this nagging partnership up! Lyon keeps on sweeping, but this doesn’t turn as he might expect, collecting a glove before going straight up, Soumya having enough time to race around behind the captain Mushfiqur to complete the dismissal. One wicket to go for Bangladesh.
66th over: Australia 228-8 (Cummins 17, Lyon 12)
Was it 42 to win as well when McDermott and May came together in Adelaide 1993? Around that. Sorry. SORRY. I’ll be quiet. Lyon kicks a leg bye. Cummins turn leans into a delightful cover drive, splitting the gap expertly. On the up and everything. Shot of the day. Taking Australia inside 40 now. Tick. They’ve put on 29.
65th over: Australia 223-8 (Cummins 13, Lyon 12)
Taijul. I still think Mehedi to finish it. Who knows. Cummins does: back over his head, down to long on for a boundary. Didn’t get absolutely all of it, but plenty for it to reach the rope. That takes us inside the First/Centurary Test 45-run margin, which I predicted pre-play as the Bangladesh winning margin. Knocks it on the head to finish off. I learned today there is nothing more highly regarded in Bangladesh cricket than a batsmen who defends the ball after hitting a six. A bit like the preoccupation in Jamaica with twin tons (they will love Shai Hope right now).
64th over: Australia 218-8 (Cummins 9, Lyon 12)
Another missed Lyon sweep. He’s definitely just playing his natural game, as they say. I’ve said this a million times, but he hit 90 off 50 balls in a 2010 game when we played at the same club before the whole journey began for him. Anyway, I’ll shut up. Sweeps again, for one. Cummins fine when defending.
Waking up to splendid news from Bangladesh ..... Morning everyone
63rd over: Australia 217-8 (Cummins 9, Lyon 11)
Another shout for lbw with Lyon sweeping! Again given not out. It was hitting, TV shows afterwards, but not in line. No reviews. Cummins does enough up the other end to get through another quality Taijul over.
Shakib is the only player in the history of Test cricket to make an 80 and take 10 wickets in a match. @FOXCricketLive
62nd over: Australia 216-8 (Cummins 9, Lyon 10)
Couple to Cummins off an inside edge down to fine leg to begin. They’ll take them however they can get them. Later on, a much better shot, cutting Shakib hard through the gap at point to the rope. Crowd momentarily silenced. Three around the bat. And a chance to one of them! Soumya drops Cummins! It bounced and turned and he went with one hand high. We’ve been saying up here all week that he’s standing too close for the spinners and that looks the case again here.
61st over: Australia 210-8 (Cummins 3, Lyon 10)
Taijul to Lyon. Hits Lyon second ball on the pad when he’s trying to score to the legside. Turned down. No reviews. Lyon sweeps hard and well for a second boundary. In the air but effective. He tries again, but misses. Back in defence to end the over. 55 now to win.
60th over: Australia 206-8 (Cummins 3, Lyon 6)
Shakib stays around the wicket as well. Cummins gets a long way forward with those big legs of his. Carbon copies, one ball after the next. A silly point, short leg, leg slip and conventional slip the catching men. Some extra flight gets the same response. Last ball holds up with some bounce, hitting the pad, but high. Only half an appeal. Maiden. Lyon’s turn.
59th over: Australia 206-8 (Cummins 3, Lyon 6)
Every ball is met with a roar. Lyon flirts with danger, an underedge onto his pad when sweeping another that shoots. He makes contact with the next attempt, a sweeper out there to defend against the stroke. They’ve done their homework. Tweaks to the field for Cummins, a catching cover alongside three men in close. Taijul penetratating from around the wicket with his left-arm spin. Cummins uses soft hands to deflect one out past backward point to keep the strike next over.
58th over: Australia 204-8 (Cummins 2, Lyon 5)
Lyon the tenth Australian in, ahead of Hazlewood. He gets off the mark with the shot he plays best: the sweep. He’s struck it beautifully too, to the rope to bring up Australia’s 200 for what that is worth at this stage. A single in that direction too. Four men around the bat to Cummins, two either side. Huge shout for LBW! Turned down by Aleem. So much pressure on the officials now with no DRS referrals left. It is missing leg, good decision. 61 to win.
Bangladesh on the brink of their first Test victory over Australia. Would have happened a while ago had they played since 2006
Goodness me! First ball after the break! FIRST BALL! Maxwell goes back to a Shakib delivery, makes room on the legside to try and take him through the off, but it doesn’t turn and keeps a fraction low. He misses, the masterful all-rounder hits. He has five. Bangladesh are all but home at Dhaka.
And the crowd meet them with a wild reception in the top deck to our right. Here we go.
57th over: Australia 199-7 (Maxwell 14, Cummins 2)
The review precludes another over being taken by Bangladesh before the break, the clock striking midday as the last Taijul ball is bowled. It’s a ripper, beating Cummins outside the edge again. That is lunch.
NOT OUT! Straightened nicely, but not hitting, not overturned. All the reviews are gone and they won’t be going for 80 overs at this rate, so that’s it for DRS in this Test.
HAS TAIJUL TRAPPED CUMMINS? Umpire Llong said no. They waited a long time to go upstairs. But here we are.
56th over: Australia 198-7 (Maxwell 13, Cummins 2)
Full faith in his number nine, and fair enough too, Maxwell takes one to cover from the second ball. Generous amount of sweepers in play when he is on strike. Cummins defends, even a full toss, showing his plan to lunch at least. Must be there at lunch to stall this wave of momentum. The ground is heaving. Shakib misses with his last one though, Cummins getting enough on it down the legside for a couple. Two overs to the break, it’ll be.
It’s not a good way to go for Ashton Agar, returning a catch to Taijul trying to force the pace down the ground and misjudging the trajectory, not getting enough of it to beat the bowler in his follow through. So much for that, then! Just when he looked like he was fitting right in out there. Maxwell now in a tough spot. When does he launch? Not before lunch, obviously. Eight minutes to that break. But there might come a time when MaxwellBall becomes the best way through.
55th over: Australia 195-7 (Maxwell 12, Cummins 0)
54th over: Australia 195-6 (Maxwell 12, Agar 2)
Shakib to Agar. Looks alright. Three singles taken to end the over, in a relatively risk-free fashion out to sweepers, to keep it ticking over. Calm enough, considering.
Taijul again. Mehedi gotta be back in at some point. Sure, he bowled poorly earlier. But that was Smith and Warner doing as they pleased. Different world now. Class rises, etc etc. Anyway, Maxwell sticking true to his pre-series words that he would be relentlessly defence first over here, as he was at Ranchi. No consideration of a scoring shot here. It’s the right decision. He could lead Australia to victory here and do himself no end of good. Throws it away, no one will forgive him. Not easy being The Big Show sometimes.
52nd over: Australia 192-6 (Maxwell 11, Agar 0)
Agar gets through the first couple, not before another shout to end the Shakib set. Look, to be perfectly honest, Agar was always a better bet in this situation than Wade. Showed in the first dig he has the tekkers for this continent. And Maxwell will keep it ticking over. No need for either to panic. Having said that, I’m sure one of them will do something stupid to make me look daft. But for now, not the worst pair to back in. There, I’ve said it. But a looooong way to go. Couldn’t leave Lyon and (injured) Hazlewood many with spin of this quality and a track with these demons. 20 minutes to lunch.
It isn’t a good review, hitting in line and definitely hitting the middle stump. Wade just caught on the crease, missing on the inside edge for the second time in this match. Not much more to it than that. Have to feel for him after the torrid time he had yesterday sticking it out behind the stumps, but his batting again fails an important test. It leaves Australia in a very difficult position to win from here, the crowd (and press box!) going wild. 73 needed.
IS WADE LBW? UMPIRE DAR SAYS SHAKIB HAS GOT HIM. Wade goes upstairs! Drama!
51st over: Australia 192-5 (Maxwell 11, Wade 4)
Singles to each to begin, Wade timing well to midwicket, Maxwell pushing out to cover with ease. Wade also gets one with a glance. Okay, progress.
The balls are spitting out of the rough but apart from Hazelwood in 1st inns, no aus batsmen has been caught close in - superb technique
50th over: Australia 189-5 (Maxwell 10, Wade 2)
32 minutes to lunch. Many of the local journos are watching this from their feet. You can’t begrudge them riding this home, many have seen the bulk of the 101 Tests they have played since earning full-member status in 2000, for only nine wins. On the field, Wade sweeps and nearly is bowled via a deflection from the edge! Hands on head from Shakib, who’s marathon continues. Wade gets off strike to the penultimate ball, meaning his examination will continue. Mehedi might be worth another shout here, he ran through England in very similar circumstances last October. But it will be Taijul for now, who creating chances too.
49th over: Australia 188-5 (Maxwell 10, Wade 1)
How’s the pressure on Matt Wade? One half-century in his ninth Test since coming back into the team. 30 byes in the game. Out as soon as he arrived in the first dig. Hanging by a thread in this team by any measure. Coming in with a lot of work to do, make no mistake, with Australia losing three wickets in quick succession. After him, the bowlers. Albeit a couple of very sensible ones with bat in hand in Agar and Cummins. There with Maxwell, who he had a publc stoush with last November. Hooley dooley. Off the mark first ball off his pads. Maxwell ferocious in defence to see it out from there.
Handscomb cuts, edges, gone! In keeping with the theme of this Test, every time you think you can pick the trend, something happens. It’s high on the bat but flying to slip, Soumya - who has had a difficult old Test back there - juggles but eventually takes the chance. Five wickets to get, 77 required. What. A. Test. Match.
48th over: Australia 187-4 (Handscomb 15, Maxwell 10)
I want to give some context: Australia needed 87 to win six wickets in hand in Bangalore back in March, only to lose by 75 runs. Sure, there’s no Ashwin to bring on a 6-for-11 collapse today, but still. Handscomb was out there through most of that as well, the penultimate wicket to fall if I recall correctly (and I do, let’s be real). But forget about that, for this is a HUGE OVER for Australia against the flow of play. 93 to win becomes 78, moving through the 80s at a quicker pace than Elton John did. Handscomb: dancing, over cover. Then Maxwell: sweeping, expertly. Him again: a fat edge, but no real danger. A couple more tucked away to end it. Where did that come from?
47th over: Australia 172-4 (Handscomb 10, Maxwell 0)
Taijul to Handscomb. Beats his edge first up! That’s where he needs to be, forcing him to worry about his stumps. This misses everything, but only just. The Australian works into the over thereafter, making solid contact in defence. Grabs one around the corner to keep the strike.
46th over: Australia 171-4 (Handscomb 9, Maxwell 0)
Shakib has had a marvellous 50th Test, the world’s number one ranked all-rounder top scoring with 84, then picking up a 5-fer, and has three of four the wickets to fall in this second dig as well. While bowling unchanged from the far end throughout this morning session as well. Maxwell is the new man, the Victorian duo having plenty left to do. They are both in their baggy greens, looking the part. The first and only ball he has to see off this over seen off easily enough with three men surrounding his bat.
Fox Sports commentator just suggested if Smith gets out this match is in the lap of the gods.
Come on. Maxwell’s good, but he’s not a god.
There is it! Double breakthrough for Bangladesh, and it’s the skipper who is feathering Shakib into the gloves of the captain off the back foot. A relatively inoccuous delivery that he’s tried to steer, perhaps a bit close to his body. All over. With 94 to get, we have a ball game again!
45th over: Australia 170-3 (Smith 37, Handscomb 8)
Edge from Smith to begin the Taijul over, but nowhere near a catcher, well wide of the catchers. Profits by four. That’ll frustrate Bangladesh. Smith keeps plugging away in the last over before drinks, marking his guard viciously after every ball. Taijul generating plenty of spin, but more often than not from balls alread pitching outside the off-stump. So when Smith is beaten he’s able to withdraw the blade and play inside the line. There’s an appeal for lbw too from the one that doesn’t spin, but they are wise not to go upstairs as it is all inside edge, no pad. Initially at least. Right, that’s drinks. Breathe.
44th over: Australia 166-3 (Smith 33, Handscomb 8)
Shakib again, so it stays with two left-arm finger spin operators. No seam seem today. Still reckon Mustafiz worth a blast. Anyway, Handscomb is coming down the track then going back to where he is more comfortable early in an innings. One spins huge, but he doesn’t follow it with his gloves. Good batting. Even batting: the sweep he nails to finish the over, racing away to beat the sweeper, who is slow on it. Australia need 99 to win. A nice mental hurdle to clear in any chase.
43rd over: Australia 162-3 (Smith 33, Handscomb 4)
Taijul returns after a brief Mehedi stint. And immediately hitting the Victorian’s pad and up! But not going enough from around the wicket. Play on. He’s clipping the best way he knows how, from the deep in the crease, for a couple. Then again for one, later in the set. He showed at the Rancho Relaxo in March that he has the skillz for this very environment deep into a Test.
42nd over: Australia 159-3 (Smith 33, Handscomb 1)
The new man Handscomb off the mark first ball behind square, the only he needs to negotiate from the Shakib over, so he’ll retain the strike.
One of @davidwarner31 better built around putting pressure back on the bowler by looking to score, defending late & embracing conditions
He is! Attempting to pull across the line from a ball that’s keeping a fraction low. Immediately given by Aleem Dar, and quickly confirmed as three red lights by third ump Gould, no edge on the way through to save him either. The end of a quite magnificent hand from Warner, taking Australia to 107 of victory. But still, it is an opening for the hosts. The precious incision they have waited 51 mintutes for today. Can they capitalise?
IS WARNER LBW TO SHAKIB? We’ll find out. Bangladesh upstairs.
41st over: Australia 152-2 (Warner 106, Smith 33)
Good news I can report from the CA camp: back home Mitchell Starc has started bowling again. A good morning to England readers. But let’s ignore Ashes while this is in front of us. Mehedi is back. Doesn’t change Warner’s approach, an easy single to the deep. Smith dropped! Out to mid-on, not snaffled, down to the rope. Both feet off the ground when it went down, but even so. Half/quarter chances need to be taken by the hosts from here.
40th over: Australia 147-2 (Warner 104, Smith 29)
Bit of a conference between overs with the umpires. Perhaps ball related? Anyway, they get on with it, Shakib to go again. Warner doing it easy now, in complete ODI mode, a single to long-on first ball of the set. Smith down the business end, cops a beauty from the left-armer who has changed approach to go around the wicket to the skipper now in order to open up the angle. But as we saw in Pune when he was beaten outside the line by Jadeja time and again with huge turners, it doesn’t much bother him. Back to solid defence to see it out.
39th over: Australia 146-2 (Warner 104, Smith 29)
Second in Asia, second in 2017. And what a mighty hand it has been. Two out to extra cover to the first ball of the new over gets him the required runs, a huge jump in the air follows in that familiar form. An equally effusive hug with his skipper. These two have put on over 100 now, and have Australia in the box seat for an excellent come-from-behind win. “I think this will go down as one of his finest,” says BJ on the telly. I tend to agree. Adam Gilchrist said the 144 he made in Fattulah with Australia in the hole there was one of the best of his famous career, and there are comparisons to be made without a doubt. 19 centuries in 65 Tests is a wonderful clip as well, on track to reach 20 quicker than all but a handful. Three further runs from the Taijul over. Time to shake it up, Mushfiqur. 119 left to get.
38th over: Australia 141-2 (Warner 99, Smith 29)
After the DRS stress, Warner takes his 99th run down the long-on. A long-on when he’s on 99? Come on Mushfiqur! He had four sweepers in the penultimate over last night. Amusing moment on the review before where Gould accientally told Dar to change his decision, detailed below by Pete Lalor watching at home. Smith sees out the remainder of the over. Warner a run to get for a ton at the start of the next.
Gunner tells Aleem Dar to change decision to not out, but that was original decision. Light moment, but A's got a few wrong this match.
NOT OUT! No glove, no spike, no breakthrough for Bangladesh. Aleem Dar vindicated by third umpire Gunner Gould. Relief for Warner.
HAS WARNER GOT AN EDGE DOWN THE LEGSIDE? Given not out, sent upstairs! Out for 98? We will see!
37th over: Australia 139-2 (Warner 98, Smith 28)
Warner is rapidly taking the game away from Bangladesh, three glorious boundaries from the opener, taking him into the 90s and then some, all of a sudden two short of a century! He slayed a sweep with perfect placement, came down to lash Taijul through cover, then repeats that stroke to end a significant over in the context of this fourth and final day. 125 required from here.
36th over: Australia 127-2 (Warner 86, Smith 28)
A maiden from Shakib, who isn’t messing around out there. Making Smith play, eitiher with bat or pad, sticking over the wicket. Wonder whether they’ll give Mustafizur a quick blast here from that end just to shake it up a bit? Golden rule of captaincy when you need a wicket pronto: keep throwing the ball around.
35th over: Australia 127-2 (Warner 86, Smith 28)
Taijul on. Didn’t expect that. Thought Mehedi would be set-and-forget from the commentary end all day. But he hasn’t started well, Warner on him. Gosh! The first delivery from the left-arm ortho has nearly taken his head off! Four byes, no chance. Could have hit anything. Massive bounce for a spinner. It warrants David Warner putting away his baggy green and calling for a helmet. A single to point follows, and one from Smith around off his hip as well. A shout for LBW ends the set, but it’s pretty ambitious. Pad well outside the line. Nah. No review.
34th over: Australia 121-2 (Warner 85, Smith 27)
How about Sokka getting the call up to replace Josh Hazlewood? Suspended by NSW, but not by Australia, evidently. Australia to go in with three spinners at Chittagong for the first time since 2006 in the corresponding fixture? Has to be a big chance. After being told his career was over, so it has been reported. Not quite a comeback of Tony Lockett proportions (and hopefully a more successful one), but not for nothing either. Right, back to the here and now, Shakib to Warner for the first time today. And they’re taking singles with relative ease. Nothing explosive about it, but bad early signs for Bangladesh. Down the ground, out to midwicket, through square leg. Smith tries to keep the strike tucking around the corner, but can’t beat the man on the 45. 12 runs in four overs. Steady.
This is already Warner's highest Test score in the subcontinent (previous 71 v India in Mohali 2013) #BANvAUS
33rd over: Australia 118-2 (Warner 83, Smith 26)
Warner again on top of Mehedi, the only player in this match to really go after the teenage senation. The length isn’t quite on to begin, two cut out to deep point. Better still the quick-ish single taken to mid-off. That’s white-ball running from the pair, once again transferring keeping the pressure on. Around the wicket to Smith to end the over, as he is to both men now.
Shakib trying to dismiss Smith in a similar manner to Jadeja in the 3rd Test Bowling around the wicket into the footmarks #AUSvsBAN
32nd over: Australia 115-2 (Warner 80, Smith 26)
Shakib to begin from the other end. We’ve been here six days and never worked out what it was called. Way to go. He’s on the mark from the start, making Smith play. And the Australian captain is very lucky there, the last ball just about rolling on the ground! Fortunate for the fact that it pitched comfortably outside the leg stump when hitting his pad. Ominous if the spinners can get into Australia’s back half. But that remains an if with these two.
31st over: Australia 115-2 (Warner 80, Smith 26)
Exactly the start Australia wanted and needed. Warner and Smith immediately away with singles, before the opener leans back and wallops a long-hop from Mehedi. One way to put the pressure back onto the home side straight away. He’s into the 80s. Australia an even 150 to go from here.
Let’s converse. In the best OBO traditions. You know the drill by now: email for the best, twitter for the questionable.
Astonishing finish at Headingley last night too. Test Match cricket: wouldn’t want it any other way. Read Andy Bull on that. Graeme Swann was in the BBC commentary box when the winning runs were hit - great stuff. I mention him as Nathan Lyon went past the England great’s 255 Test wickets yesterday with his sixth, making nine for the match. Handy week, after going beyond Benaud on the opening day, joining the 250 Club as well.
The Sher-e-Bangla National Stadium is the place to be this morning. School is out for Eid festival this Saturday and tickets are a premium, all of a sudden. Because their national side has the chance today to win their tenth Test in 17 years, the first ever against Australia.
But that will require eight Australian wickets, with 156 runs to play with. Breaking that down further, it means they must strike early and get rid of either Warner or Smith. The former, on 75 overnight, was having a wordly out there yesterday. Aside from a sharp chance he gave to slip, it was a man we’ve seldom seen in Test cricket in this part of the world.
Adam will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s how day three – a good one for Australia – panned out:
5th over: Hampshire 45-1 (Dickinson 18, Vince 27) Dickinson gets his first boundary with a controlled pull round the corner off Gurney. That was a much better stroke than most he has attempted so far. He seems to have settled down now, and two balls later he drives superbly down the ground for four more. Hampshire have recovered very well from Afridi’s false start. They need 125 from the last 15 overs.
4th over: Hampshire 34-1 (Dickinson 7, Vince 27) Vince hits Christian for 14 in three deliveries, with two fours - one dragged just over mid-on - followed by a sweet pick-up over wide mid-on. He has 27 from 13 balls, an exercise in classical brutality.
3rd over: Hampshire 18-1 (Dickinson 6, Vince 12) Jake Ball replaces Samit Patel. Vince, beaten by the first ball, blasts the second over extra cover for four. That’s another beautiful stroke. At the other end, Calvin Dickinson is trying a bit too hard and keeps mistiming his attempted big shots.
2nd over: Hampshire 11-1 (Dickinson 5, Vince 6) Harry Gurney beats Dickinson with an excellent slower ball. I’m slightly surprised he didn’t get more of a chance in England’s T20 side, though they did like Reece Topley. Of course you are allowed to play more than one left-arm seamer. Anyhow, Gurney’s excellent first over goes for four.
Shahid Afridi: Hampshire fans now know how Pakistan fans feel
1st over: Hampshire 7-1 (Dickinson 2, Vince 5) That’s Afridi in excelsis: a 45-ball hundred in the quarters and a golden duck in the semis. He’ll probably make a 45-ball duck in the final if they get there. It was such a bad delivery from Samit as well. The new batsman is James Vince, who gets off the mark with a gorgeous, Vaughanish extra cover drive for four.
Afridi has gone first ball! He hoicked a long hop from Samit Patel straight to deep midwicket, where Hales took an easy catch.
Shahid Afridi marches out to bat. It might be Boom Boom or bust for Hampshire. He certainly has the capacity to ruin Notts in the Powerplay.
20th over: Notts 169-7 (Root 11, Sodhi 15) Gareth Berg bowls a really good last over, full of accurate yorkers. There are no boundaries, though Notts still beg, steal and borrow nine runs, which them to 169. That’s about par, you would think, and Hampshire will need 170 to win. See you in a few minutes for the runchase!
19th over: Notts 160-7 (Root 8, Sodhi 9) Abbott continues to go the distance, with Sodhi clouting a pull over midwicket for six. That aside it’s a good, yorker-tastic over, with ten from it in total. I have no idea which team is on top.
18th over: Notts 150-7 (Root 4, Sodhi 1) Dawson ends with figures of two for 36. The three spinners have combined figures of four for 80 from 12 overs, but Notts have done enough against the quicker bowlers to be within sight of a par score.
Mullaney punches his bat after being dismissed for nought. That’s the third catch at short third man, a swooping effort to his left by Afridi to give Liam Dawson his second wicket.
17th over: Notts 143-6 (Mullaney 0, Root 0) That was a cracking cameo from Christian: 24 from 12 balls, including those three sixes. The second was an amazing shot, strongarmed over extra cover from a wide slower ball by Abbott.
Dan Christian hits the returning Kyle Abbott for three sixes in the over - but he’s dismissed by the final delivery, driving it straight to Carberry on the cover boundary.
16th over: Notts 123-5 (Christian 4, Mullaney 0) We thought the slow bowlers would be important for Hampshire and that’s certainly been the case. Notts were 70 for two after seven when Crane and Afridi came into the attack; since then they’ve scored 53 for three off nine.
That’s superb bowling from Liam Dawson. He was hit down the ground for six the previous delivery, and tossed the next ball even higher Patel couldn’t resist the temptation and sliced the ball high to long off. It was a good innings from Samit, 35 from 31 balls, but Notts needed him to bat for another 20 minutes.
15th over: Notts 115-4 (Patel 29, Christian 2) Patel drags another boundary, this time off Afridi. He is also done for the innings, and ends with identical figures to Crane: one for 22 from four overs. Notts will surely tee off now that they are out of the attack.
14th over: Notts 109-4 (Patel 24, Christian 1) Patel clouts Crane’s googly down the ground for four. That’s one of only two boundaries conceded in a really impressive spell of one for 22. It’s pretty hard not to be pretty excited about what Crane might achieve in the next 15 years.
13th over: Notts 102-4 (Patel 18, Christian 0) Notts bat deep, which is a good thing as they are in a little bit of trouble here.
Notts are in danger of suffering death by legspin. Taylor tries to go big against Afridi and came only pick out Wood at long off.
12th over: Notts 98-3 (Taylor 19, Patel 13) Patel backs away to blast Crane over cover for four, an excellent and timely stroke. Eight from the over.
11th over: Notts 90-3 (Taylor 18, Patel 7) Notts are milking the spinners pretty well but they will have to risk some big shots pretty soon. Taylor reverse sweeps Afridi cleverly for three and then survives an appeal for LBW when he misses a premeditated sweep. I assume he was outside the line. Notts haven’t hit a boundary since Crane and Afridi came on.
10th over: Notts 83-3 (Taylor 14, Patel 5) Another boundaryless over from Crane, who has started superbly. Twenty-year-old English legspinners aren’t supposed to bowl like this.
9th over: Notts 78-3 (Taylor 9, Patel 4) Now it’s time for Shahid Afridi’s skiddy legspin. Having three spinners is very handy on a slightly tired pitch. Notts take no risks in Boom Boom’s first over, milking him for six singles.
This month's @AllOutCricket is a belter. Buy it. Kallis, Law, county golden oldies, and a lovely looking interview with Mason Crane... pic.twitter.com/VUSV5rrMUl
8th over: Notts 72-3 (Taylor 7, Patel 1) That was a brilliant first over from Crane - two runs and a very important wicket.
The legspinner Mason Crane, future saviour of English cricket and possibly the Western world, strikes with his third ball. Wessels tried to turn to leg and got a leading edge that looped gently to Vince in the covers. That’s beautifully bowled by Crane, and the end of a ferocious innings by Wessels: 48 from 27, with five fours and two sixes.
7th over: Notts 70-2 (Wessels 48, Taylor 6) Liam Dawson returns to the attack - and disappears for 14. Wessels hits the first three deliveries for four, with a scorching extra cover drive sandwiched by two muscular pulls
6th over: Notts 56-2 (Wessels 35, Taylor 5) Brendan Taylor times Berg through midwicket for four, an almost genteel shot compared to everything else we’ve seen. That’s the end of the Powerplay, with honours pretty even.
Another six for Wessels, swiped down the ground off Wood in an over that goes for 13. He added 24 with Tom Moores, who made nought and sliced the final delivery of the over to Abbott at short third man. That was an excellent catch. Moores was all over the place in his short, four-ball innings: he was beaten twice and had a big yahoo at his final delivery.
4th over: Notts 36-1 (Wessels 20, Moores 0) Wessels has taken over bish-bosh duties from the departing Hales. He ramps Kyle Abbott for four and then clobbers a flat six over the head of Carberry at deep square leg. That’s his 27th six of the competition. I remember the days when describing sixes required an exclamation mark.
3rd over: Notts 25-1 (Wessels 9, Moores 0) Notts are a long way from being a one-man batting line-up; nonetheless, that is a huge wicket because there is nobody quite like Alex Hales in English cricket.
Hales is out! He made room and sliced a cutter from Chris Wood straight to short third man, where Shahid Afridi took a decent and vital catch. That is a mighty wicket for Hampshire, with the potentially devastating Hales gone for 15 from seven balls.
2nd over: Notts 20-0 (Wessels 7, Hales 13) Hales slogs Gareth Berg high in the air, with Vince just unable to reach the ball as he charges towards deep midwicket. That could be a pretty significant moment, such is Hales’ capacity for destruction - which he demonstates by carting the next delivery into the crowd at cow corner. He is brutal, and the next ball is sliced deliberately over backward point for four. Hales has 13 from five balls.
1st over: Notts 7-0 (Wessels 6, Hales 1) Liam Dawson, one of three spinners in the Hampshire side along with Mason Crane and Shahid Afridi, rushes through a good first over that is ruined by a wretched overthrow for four by the captain Vince off the final delivery.
Five-minute warning Alex Hales (and Riki Wessels) will be teeing off from 2.30pm.
Words I never expected to type when I started a career in sports journalism Alfie the gorilla has won the mascot race!
Now it’s time for the mascot race! I thought that was between the second two games. There’s some kind of ball pool being set up for the obstacle course as we speak. How exciting. Who you backing?
Amazing ending to that game. Birmingham are in the final! Great performance from them, especially Ed Pollock up top and the brilliant fielding. Three great catches and a classy run out too.
As it’s Finals Day, Hampshire and Notts are already out warming up... That game starts in about 35 minutes, and there will be a toss shortly.
20th over: Glamorgan 164 all out
Woakes on to close it out. Salter edges for four first ball. 22 off five... Four more next ball, big swing, just beats the man art cover. Can they? Surely not. 18 off four. Six! He’s pulled six! 12 needed off three. Woakesy, what are you made of? Salter has 27 off 13!
19th over: Glamorgan 150-8 (Salter 13) TARGET 176
Stone on. He finds a dot, then a single. Good start. Salter cloths two down the ground. Elliott pulls off a decent stop at cover: is it a drop? It is, but the stop is the important bit! Last ball of the over and Stone has bowled him! Full, straight, gone.
18th over: Glamorgan 144-8 (Salter 10, de Lange 13) TARGET 176
Here’s CdG for his first bowl. It’s swinging! One from the first, two from the second. The third is a dot. Right in the block hole. After a single, a full toss is sent down the ground for a hugesix by Marchant de Lange!
17th over: Glamorgan 133-8 (Salter 7, de Lange 5) TARGET 176
Salter nabs a single, then Thomason fools the big man de Lange with a slower ball. He hoicks a four! Shot. Single ends the over and Thomason ends with two for 36.
Thomason starts with a wide, then there’s a single. And now there’s been a fourth brilliant bit of fielding! Hain runs round from long-on and makes a sprinting, diving catch look very simple. Might have run 40 yards there as it hung in the air.
Salter pulls a four. Shot. Over ends with a single, and Glamorgan need 51 from 24 balls...
Here’s Woakes, then. He’s got another after this one. Singles off the first two, and then Wagg picks out mid-off with the third! Slower ball, straight to Elliott. Brummies are off to the final.
A single then a dot ends a very decent over from Meschede. 56 required from 30.
Thomason time. Four first ball, pulled behind square by Rudolph. He’s playing a blinder. Goes round the wicket. The Hampshire lads are wandering round to go for a net. There’s a dot as Rudolph misses a reverse sweep, then a single to backward point.
Oh my, that’s the third brilliant bit of fielding from Birmingham today! Wagg drives straight back at Thomason, who gathers, sees Rudolph out of his ground and throws at the stumps! He hits! He’s gone for 65! That is just a class piece of thinking.
Jeetan back for his last. That’s a brilliant straight drive from Wagg. Four. Yorker fired in next ball. There are some singles, and he ends with a dot, meaning his figures are 0 for 27 from his four. I reckon all parties will be fine with that.
Elliott on with four men on the legside fence. Rudolph is blowing here, lots of singles about. So he decides to sweep and sweep hard! Gets him four. The crowd are singing God Save The Queen, which is odd. A single each ends the over.
The brilliant Stone back. There’s one for Wagg, then two for Rudolph, because of a brilliant diving effort from Hose at deep square. Great fielding. After two more, there’s a huge six to end the over from Wagg! Still in it...
More Elliott, with the keeper up. Lots of singles, one of which brings Rudolph 50! 30 balls, with seven fours and a six. Then there’s a wide. Don’t need them.
Jeetan has two more. Here’s one of them. Wagg dots up, then takes a single. There’s a very tight single afterwards, with a direct hit from Stone at backward point. Wagg makes it. There’s the first six of the innings! And first since Ed Pollock’s innings, actually. Rudolph it is, nailing it to cow corner.
Elliott brings himself on to deliver some pace off. A single for Rudolph, then four for Cooke through cover. Ambrose calls for the lid and he’s standing up. Makes sense. After a single each, Cooke just flicks straight to Sibley at deep-midwicket. That’s very soft.
Thomason continues and Rudolph cuts four, thanks to a msifield from Jeetan. There’s four more from Cooke, who guides past the keeper, then takes one to mid-on.
@willis_macp So is that 'Goodbye Glamorgan Greyhounds' (ref Kimberley's request of over 3)?
6th over: Glamorgan 48-4 (Rudolph 30, Cooke 0) Powerplay ends with a dot, and Stone is all over Glamorgan!
Matthew Doherty asks: “Will Olly Stone’s overs be thrillers?”
They have been so far! The first ball of this over clocked 92.3 mph. Class. He’s too quick for Carlson and after a single each he nicks off Carlson!
5th over: Glamorgan 46-3 (Rudolph 29, Carlson 2) Runs to third man: one for Carlson, then four for Rudolph, classily guided. All on him now, you’d say. A single each ends the over.
Glamorgan are in trouble! Aaron Thomason comes on gets one to nip away from David Miller and he’s gawn! Caught behind. Huge wicket.
4th over: Glamorgan 39-2 (Rudolph 24, Miller 0) Rudolph nicks just wide of Ambrose and gets four! Sibley duly goes in to slip. Two dots follow, but the over ends with a well-placed four from Rudolph. Pollock can’t cut it off at deep backward point.
A first look at Olly Stone today! Great to see him fit. Excellent yorker is dug out for one by Rudolph, then Ingram goes hard but WHAT A CATCH! Elliott is at mid-on, it’s been skied into the legside. He’s set off, run 25 yards to his left and taken a belting diving catch? How did that stay in?! Enter David Miller.
3rd over: Glamorgan 30-1 (Rudolph 15, Ingram 11) More Rog Woakes. Single to start, then four through backward point for Rudolph. Good comeback from Rog, though, and there’s just one more from the over.
An email from Kimberley Thonger!
Our dachshund wants to know why none of the T20 Blast teams are named after dogs generally, and dachshunds specifically? He thinks Derbyshire Dachshunds or possibly Somerset Sausage-Dogs or even Worcestershire Wiener-Dogs would all be splendid team names. In his view it’s doggist and down right dachshundist. What on earth do I tell him?
2nd over: Glamorgan 24-1 (Rudolph 10, Ingram 10) Jeetan Patel from the other. Great shout. Yorker first up, dug out by Ingram, who gets off strike next ball. Rudolph looks in super nick, and he fizzes a drive straight to deep cover before Ingram skips down, and drills for four down the ground. Very chilled. Then four more are carved over extra cover. Nicccceeeee. Single ends the over.
1st over: Glamorgan 13-1 (Rudolph 9, Ingram 0) Rudolph spanks each of the last two balls of the over for four through cover. That will do. What a busy over.
Rog Woakes beats Rudolph first ball, and then there’s a single. Glamorgan are underway! Donald doesn’t muck about and he slaps his first ball over cover for four!
Oh, but that is brilliant! Donald pulls, doesn’t get all of it, and Hain sprints 30 yards to his left at deep square-leg to take a running, diving catch! What a catch.
The IPL’s Christopher Roger Woakes will get us going. I’ve just smashed the carvery here. Far too early for it, but the beef was seriously good.
Here come the Birmingham Bears!
Donald and Rudolph to open up for Glamorgan. Reckon 176 will be a tough chase.
Woakes drives to deep cover, tries to make two but he’s an inch short. Good effort.
Still, decent effort. Glamorgan need 176 to win. Possibly not as many as they might have thought they’d get. Back in 10 minutes for the chase.
Jeetan picks out long-on first ball... One ball left, Woakes to face.
Hogan to bowl the last. Thomason gets two with a pull, then one down the ground. The IPL’s Chris Woakes gets a single to cover, then Thomason tries to scamper a second with a drive down the ground but doesn’t quite make it! Good work from long on Miller and the keeper Cooke. Two balls remain, Jeets in.
19th over: Birmingham 169-6 (Thomason 13, Woakes 0) Thomason gets a thick outside edge for 2 but it’s a no-ball! The free hit is too quick for him. There have been too free hits today, both have been dots. Another outside edge ends the over with a single.
De Lange is basically two quick for Thomason. More low full tosses. Are they intentional? Maybe. Anyway, after Thomason gets off strike, CdG picks out deep midwicket! Big wicket! What can Woakesy do with eight balls left?
18th over: Birmingham 162-5 (de Grandhomme 29, Thomason 9) Wagg on, bowling round the wicket. Dug in, and pulled for four by Thomason! A single follows, then a misfield at long-off means CdG (not Charles de Gaulle) gets two, not one. Then there’s four through cover! Shot. A wide is followed by four more! Inside edged past the man at 45! A single ends the over, and Wagg’s three have cost 41...
17th over: Birmingham 145-5 (de Grandhomme 18, Thomason 4) De Lange’s on bowling dipping slower ball full tosses. Singles off the first three of them. He then goes for the yorker, and it’s poked into the offside for two. Six from the over, which ends with a single. Dire Straits on between overs. Awful tunes so far today.
16th over: Birmingham 139-5 (de Grandhomme 16) Time for the Brummies to launch, and Elliott does that to Hogan with a handsome drive over extra cover for four. A yorker is dug out for a single, then BigMan flicks fine for four. Last ball of the over and Elliott tries to lap but he laps straight into 45’s hands! Goner.
15th over: Birmingham 129-4 (Elliott 27, de Grandhomme 11) Here’s Wagg, and Grant Elliott’s decided to get on with things. He goes four, four, both through the legside, then one to long-off. De Grandhomme could have been run out by Wagg as he gets his flick to midwicket wrong. They take one, as they do to the next ball. Four more off the last, flicked to cow!
Beef incoming. Pitch looked fine for batting that over...
Just a bit of pace to help the batsmen. It'll be near unplayable by the final. Shocker of a pitch despite the commentators' opinions.
14th over: Birmingham 114-4 (Elliott 17, de Grandhomme 6) More Ingram, and it’s canny stuff. Offies, leggies, the lot. Five from it, all singles.
13th over: Birmingham 109-4 (Elliott 14, de Grandhomme 4) BigMan takes a single, then Elliott cracks Meschede for four through the offside. Three singles end the over, and Meschede ends with two for 24 from his four, which is very handy indeed.
12th over: Birmingham 101-4 (Elliott 8, de Grandhomme 2) Touch of class from Elliott, that. Andrew Salter comes on with his spin, and he gives himself room to drive inside-out through extra-cover for four. Salter strikes back, though, with three dots. Elliott brings the hundred up with one to deep cover, and the over ends with another single to deep midwicket for BigMan.
11th over: Birmingham 95-4 (Elliott 3, de Grandhomme 1) BigMan is in. He’s away with a dot. There’s a dot to Elliott, who then nearly plays on. And the over ends with a single. Three from it, and the wicket. Good comeback from Glamorgan, this.
Another! Hain tries to sweep Meschede and is rapped on the backside. He’s gawn.
10th over: Birmingham 92-3 (Hain 9, Elliott 1) Class from Sam Hain. He reverse sweeps for four, then turns to leg to get Grant Elliott, the skipper, on strike for the first time. It’s a wide, then a single for each batsman, and YouBears are 92-3 at halfway.
Let’s wait and see. So far, though, pace off certainly seems the way...
@willis_macp Pitch looks dead already: no pace, no carry, no reward for anything other than dibbly-dobblers. Why such a poor cricket wicket?
Sibley gets adventurous to Ingram, but he’s gone! He drives straight at cover, then picks out the man in the deep, running round from long-on. Davey Miller doesn’t drop them.
9th over: Birmingham 83-2 (Sibley 227, Hain 3) The Glammys have put the skids on YouBears here, and Meschede is continuing. Dot, single to Sibley. Think they will happily take 6-8 for the next few overs to build the platform. Hain flicks for one. And that’s a hell of a shot from Sibley, a cross-bat battering down the ground for four. Then there’s two to cow, and the over ends with another single. Nine from it.
8th over: Birmingham 74-2 (Sibley 19, Hain 2) More pace off, as Ingram returns for his second over. Three singles to get us going. The chant of YouBears goes out. It’s just about a full house now. Another single for Hain, then a dot to Sibley. He ends the over by tracking Ingram, but scuffs it and they take just one.
7th over: Birmingham 69-2 (Sibley 15, Hain 0) They crossed, so Sibley pops out to cow for one. Good over from Meschede: the wicket, and just four from it.
So, keeper up for a bit of Meschede dibble. Pace off. Sibley takes one to long-on, then Hose gets off the mark through the offside. Fielders out are deep cover, long-off, long-on, cow and deep square-leg. After another Sibley single, Hose dots up then picks out the man at cow! Easy catch. Sam Hain comes in.
6th over: Birmingham 65-1 (Sibley 13, Hose 0) That one ball is defended straight to cover by Hose. Pollock gone, but that’s a very fine start for Birmingham.
De Lange swaps ends. Sibley pulls him for four. Easy game, this. Gets easier when de Lange oversteps - Sibley takes a single so Pollock gets the free hit! He drives it straight to extra-cover, then mid-off. Three dots on the spin! The third a slower ball. And the pressure tells! He drills straight to cover-point! Gone for 50 off 27, with five fours and four sixes. What a start. One ball left of the powerplay as Hose ambles out.
5th over: Birmingham 58-0 (Pollock 50, Sibley 8) Tip and run from Sibley off Hogan to mid-on brings up the 50 in no time. There’s a dot to midwicket so Pollock is 47 off 21. Slow. They scramble a single and then Sibley gets in on the act! He tracks Hogan and wallops over cover for four! After a single, Pollock ends with two to deep midwicket to bring up his 50! That’s his third in eight games, and it took just 24 balls...
4th over: Birmingham 49-0 (Pollock 47, Sibley 2) A short delay for no apparent reason. Graham Wagg becomes Glamorgan’s fourth bowler. They need a wicket. Sibley takes a single, and then Wagg finds a couple of dots to Pollock, which takes some doing. Never mind, next up he’s carted for a pair of fours: the first hoicked to midwicket, next cut through backward point. Shouldn’t have been stopped. The last is another dot. Nine from it, Glamorgan’s best over of the innings...
Big call..
@willis_macp Don't want to be churlish, but I think Pollock has only middled one so far - the off-drive.
3rd over: Birmingham 40-0 (Pollock 39, Sibley 1) A decent start from YouBears, so here’s Marchant de Lange, the big Saffa, to try nip it in the bud. That doesn’t work, because Pollock slog sweeps him for six, then drives him for four down the ground! De Lange bowls 90 clicks! Four more! Pulled. He takes a single to move to 39 off 15. Mad man. Sibley gets himself off the mark with a single to square-leg.
2nd over: Birmingham 24-0 (Pollock 24, Sibley 0) Ed Pollock does not muck about. Michael Hogan’s on at the Birmingham End and he nails the second and third balls for six! Down the ground then over mid-on. Back goes long-on, and he taps it down to him for a single. He has 24 off 10, and now Sibley gets a go. He defends a couple.
1st over: Birmingham Bears 11-0 (Pollock 11, Sibley 0) Ingram gets us going with ... a pair of dots! He’s a leggie, and Pollock is a leftie. Drives to mid-on, then is rapped on the pad. But it pitched outside. Long on and deep midwicket are the men back.
We’re away with a six! A blooming six! Pollock slog sweeps over backward square leg. What a shot! Two balls later, he slog sweeps again. It’s four this time, to cow. Ends the over with a single to backward-point. That last ball was a dart of an off-break.
So, Ed Pollock and Dom Sibley open for YouBears. Not a sentence I thought I’d be typing two months ago.
As is trendy, Glamorgan opening with spin. It’s Colin Ingram!
Here come the cricketers. Pitch looks dry and hard. Runs.
And the first T20 of any sort he’s played since the IPL. IPL stands for Indian Premier League.
Chris Woakes' first T20 for Birmingham since playing against Lancashire on 19th June 2016
It appears that on Sky Matt Floyd is interviewing a series of South African men on a boat off Wales. More as I get it.
Glamorgan have won the toss! They will ... bowl! That means, by a process of elimination, means Birmingham Bears will bat first.
The two captains for the first game are a pair of ancient South Africans, Jacques Rudolph and Grant Elliott. Elliott is sort of a Kiwi I spose. Soon, they are going to toss a coin.
Can’t wait!
It’s only one week to go to the Concert of Legends at New Road on Saturday, September 9.
The weather is an absolute delight, which is not normally the case on Finals Day. Beer jacket and suncream are the requirements. We’re about 10 minutes away from the toss in the opening game.
There’s this thing at the city end of the ground which is propelling people, who are sat in a sort of ball thing, up and down with bungee ropes. It’s going higher than the floodlights! Sorry that is a terrible description. It’s an odd thing, and looks like it would make drunk people sick, which is a going concern on Finals Day.
Hello and welcome to Edgbaston, where the sun is shining, the stands are filling and the glasses are being charged because it’s T20 Finals Day! How very exciting.
I’m Will Macpherson and I’m here to helm the blog for the first game of the day – the hosts YouBears v Glamorgan – before the great Rob Smyth takes over for the second semi (Notts against Hampshire) and the final, so I can do my bits for tomorrow’s paper. It should be a belter.