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Pakistan beat Sri Lanka by three wickets to reach semi-finals – as it happened

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Pakistan eventually won a remarkable see-saw game against Sri Lanka by three wickets, to reach the semi-finals where they will play England

An extraordinary victory for Pakistan in the end. Mickey Arthur is elated on the balcony, as he should be. Pumped by India in the opener, his side are through to the final four. And make no mistake, they were cooked here at 162-for-7. But then, the twist: a stand of 75 for the eighth wicket, which never came.

They were helped along the way by Sri Lanka, who dropped Sarfraz twice off Malinga; the chance grassed by Thisara one he’ll never forget. The skipper finished with an unbeaten 61. It was frantic, he should have been run out a couple more times, but he is the man of the match.

45th over: Pakistan 237-7 (Sarfraz 61, Amir 28). Malinga back. Had to be. “Has he got one great over left for his country?” wonders Athers. Not initially, with a bouncer ballooning over, a wide added. A single follows to give the strike back to Sarfraz. Two out to square leg reduces the task to one hefty wallop. Don’t doubt him having a pop at it. Malinga attempts the slower one again, but it is a full toss and Sarfraz takes two more out to backward square. Four to win. Malinga, two balls to go, HE ONLY NEEDS ONE, GUIDING IT TO THE THIRD MAN ROPE WITH UTTER CLASS. PAKISTAN WIN!

44th over: Pakistan 226-7 (Sarfraz 52, Amir 27). Gunaratne? Righto. Gunaratne it is. Sarfraz, predictably, has to chase another quick single just to know he’s alive! This time though he would have made it, even if Sri Lanka hit. But they haven’t in any of their earlier six attempts, so why start now? The bowlers have been badly let down today. Last ball: Amir gets onto a lavish cover drive, he picks the gap and makes no mistake. Flighted, attempting force something daft, but this is a mature cricketer who has gone through plenty and doesn’t make errors like that. Glorious stroke. 11 needed.

fans go wild after @SarfarazA_54 brings up his 50! #SLvPAK#CT17pic.twitter.com/ARCte63XB8

43rd over: Pakistan 220-7 (Sarfraz 51, Amir 22). Dhananjaya for his first jam roll of the tournament! Fresh off the plane, around the wicket with his offies. I’d back Ang Mathews any old time, but this is out there. Both batsmen are so well set, they take three singles on offer and defend the rest with ease. Nice try, but gotta go back to your Plan A from here. Let Thisara at ‘em!

Malinga is at mid on and has had his arms crossed for 40 seconds.

42nd over: Pakistan 217-7 (Sarfraz 50, Amir 20). Lakmal charges in to begin his last. Dice rolled by Mathews, but has no other logical option. Other than Thisara, who will do anything to redeem himself. Let’s hope for that next over. Oh but it may not mater by then! Sarfraz tickles a poor delivery for four. Then later in the over drives with authority through the covers! That’s his 50! The captain has played a manic hand, there’s no way he should still be there, but it must be matchwinning from here. 11 from the over. The 50 stand also came up in the over. Amir clutch here too.

41st over: Pakistan 206-7 (Sarfraz 41, Amir 18). “It’s all falling apar for Sri Lanka... Pakistan have to win from here, they have no excuse.” Meaning they will surely lose three-for-sod all now and lose it. Malinga is doubled over exasperated by the end of it. He’s created two chances. Both have gone down. Then, four byes through the keeper Dickwella’s legs when he can’t pick the slower ball on the second bounce. Then another misfield through the legs of cover, enabling the eighth run of the over.

DOWN AGAIN! Sarfraz hacks into the deep, and Prasanna has dropped it this time. Hard chance, but a chance all the same. They may not get another at this stage.

40th over: Pakistan 198-7 (Sarfraz 40, Amir 15). Lakmal’s penultinate over. Their best today, for mine. A single each taken before the bowler goes upstairs to Amir from round the wicket. He has been there long enough now to get underneath it with relative ease. Two from it. Push, pull. Pull, push.

#ChampionsTrophy2017#PAKvSL Like a B&H final from 40 yrs ago this...no wonder I'm enjoying it!

39th over: Pakistan 196-7 (Sarfraz 39, Amir 14). There will be no hole big enough for Thisara to climb into. Oh, it’s awful. It’ll feature in youtube compilations of worst drop catches. He will get the chance to redeem himself with the ball soon enough, and he’ll need to. Truth told, it’s an ordinary over from Malinga the deceptive slower ball aside. Lucky to get away with only three from it. Win predictor has Pakistan at 74%. Of course, that’s a retrospective measurement.

Not sure which side is trying harder to lose!! You never see emotion from Malinga and you did just now!

DROPPED! Thisara Perera puts down Sarfraz, the most basic of chances at mid-on. Set up beautifully by Malinga with his well-directed slowed one. Oh no!

38th over: Pakistan 193-7 (Sarfraz 38, Amir 13). Lakmal now for his ninth, as the quicks start to exhaust their overs. He has five left beween Malinga and Thisara as well. May not require all of those is Sarfraz hits a few more of those, a gloriously timed glide behind point to the rope to begin the over. He takes the fifth ball in the same direction, albeit for a single. So, one ball for Amir to face. But no need to worry about that, elbow up and tidy. Just like the best of them. Malinga will be next up.

37th over: Pakistan 188-7 (Sarfraz 33, Amir 13). Slipping away from Sri Lanka here. But the situation remains much as it ever did: they need all ten wickets to win. With that in mind, Pradeep is back, swung around to the other end for his tenth. But Amir is up to the task, driving through cover for three when the seamer overpitches. In defence, he’s as solid as anyone who stepped out in greemn today. Pradeep’s day is done, that final over going for four. The required runs inside 50 now. Close your eyes when you say it: Pakistan, now, should win.

36th over: Pakistan 184-7 (Sarfraz 32, Amir 10). Mathews holds Pradeep’s last over back. To Thisara again for his 8th. And it’s not ideal for Sri Lanka. Not ideal at all. Kusal Mendis, such a reliable operator with bat in hand, has taken a rank ping at the non-striker stumps, spitting away for four overthrows. A wide follows when a bouncer is assessed as too high. Nine collected by Pakistak, who have gone half an hour without a wicket now, leaving 53 to get in 84 balls. That’s 3.79 an over, if you think better in those terms.

Peter Salmon on the email: “Surely the Pakistan win predictor should always be at 57%, whatever the circumstances, just in case.” Good point, well made.

35th over: Pakistan 175-7 (Sarfraz 29, Amir 5). The offie Gunaratne, with his dainty little run up, has another. And much the same as those he’s already got through, only two runs are taken. It’s a stalemate out there, both sides vaguely content with the status quo. But Sri Lanka have more to lose if they are only left with the part-time combo at the death. Shouldn’t come to that, though.

The win predictor on the #CT17 match centre still gives Pakistan the edge - what do you think? #SLvPAK LIVE: https://t.co/sVnq3kwETMpic.twitter.com/aCTkBTtoGX

34th over: Pakistan 173-7 (Sarfraz 28, Amir 4). Solid from Mathews, bringing back my fav Nuwan Pradeep. Has three wickets today and 12 balls to add to it. He crosses himself with ball in hand before starting his approach. Any advantage welcome for the Sri Lankans now. Big shout for lbw! But it’s high. Sarfraz suggests as much to the umpire. Mathews agrees by declining to use his review. TV confirms that was sound. Later in the over, a fuller wider tempeter is welcomed by Amir, who drives through the line and through a gap for a couple out to cover. He’s back in defence thereafter. A single inside the circle at point gets another run. Amir retains the strike.

Just been reminded of this line in @andrewffernando's match preview #PAKvSL#CT17pic.twitter.com/mPbXHLZG27

33rd over: Pakistan 168-7 (Sarfraz 27, Amir 1). The spinners being rotated through too, Gunaratne back after a one over rest. One run from it. The last of the set was a full toss, but Amir elected to pat it back. Plenty left in this.

Since the 2015 World Cup, Sarfraz's favourite scoring area has been third man. He has a SR of 133.75 in that zone #CT17#SLvPAK

32nd over: Pakistan 167-7 (Sarfraz 26, Amir 1). Maths as they are, it’ll be interesting to see how Mathews manages this. Stick with spin from one end and rotate the quicks through? He has options, but won’t forever. Pakistan must have some game awareness about this and occupy for as long as they can. Absolutely no hurry here. Perhaps that is the case, three singles taken and no risks in the process.

31st over: Pakistan 164-7 (Sarfraz 23, Amir 1).“What should Sarfraz do from here?” the question on the telly. A fine question. We’ve seen Amir play some wonderful knocks under pressure - not least this one. Gunathilaka given his first roll of the day, until now Mathews happy to stick with his front-line quicks. He does it well, racing through the set in 60 seconds, concedeing only two.

What a farce! It was always destined to happen. Unlucky to the extent that he was backing up; that happens. But his lunge was far from desperate, and plenty of speed came off the ball in Thisara’s follow through. The result is clear, he is gone. Another wicket at vital moment just as Pakistan looked to have the game vaguely under control again. The replay is not flattering - the deflection is massive. What a mess. Sri Lanka should finish it off from here. Should.

30th over: Pakistan 162-7 (Sarfraz 22, Amir 0).

Has there been a run out at the non-strikers’ end? Sarfraz has hit the ball back. Hand/ball/stumps? We’ll find out.

29th over: Pakistan 158-6 (Sarfraz 21, Fahim 12). “It’s going to be a quick game either way,” says Athers. “Pakistan are going to play their shots.” That much looks clear. Thisara looked to be man back into the attack, but at the last moment Mathews called an audible and thrown the ball back to spinner Gunaratne. More. Mad. Running. Sarfraz hasn’t a clue about assessing the quick single, short by several metres had the throw hit. Sri Lanka are yet to hit the stumps in this innings. All six attempts would have been out. Dear me. One from it, if you were wondering.

28th over: Pakistan 157-6 (Sarfraz 20, Fahim 12). Now he has a pop at Pradeep! Short, hooked, once bounce, four. Fahim shifting the pressure straight back onto the fielding side and their skipper Angelo Mathews. Steady accumulation brings four more before Pradeep goes upstairs again. Fahim wanted to play ball, but didn’t have time to swing his arms as the bouncer just missed his helmet. Then four more vital runs off the elbow the finish the over. Short again, Fahim gets his arm in the way, the angle enough to beat Dickwella and race away to the rope. 12 off it the final result. Big. Long way from the finish line but the noise from both fans is panicked in tone. Don’t go anywhere, this is going down to the wire. They have a drink.

Sri Lanka's three main quicks only have eight overs left between them. If Pakistan are sensible it's still there for them...#PAKvSL#CT17

27th over: Pakistan 145-6 (Sarfraz 17, Fahim 7). Fahim takes on Malinga! Gutsy play, gets enough on the hook to go the full journey. With the runs required in double digits, you feel that as a fielding side. Especially as only a single had come to that point, Sarfraz showing ample faith in his number eight claiming a single from the first ball.

And to think, I was going to throw this away #CT17#NamoNamopic.twitter.com/dEGoKe7sEa

26th over: Pakistan 137-6 (Sarfraz 16, Fahim 0). “He has to play the innings of his life,” the assessment of the commentary on the skipper Sarfraz. Better bloody believe it. Only the bowlers riding shotgun with him now. He’s hitting the ball well, there’s ample time. How will he respond? Take stock and consolidate? Swing hard and push back? Who said 50-over cricket is dead? If that’s you, with respect, you’re wrong.

SCENES! Pradeep’s turn to win an edge, of the conventional varitety, his beautiful seam position winning a feather from the new man Imad. Wickets in consecutive overs and the face of Pakistan coach Mickey Arthur on the boundary says it all. He’s seen this one before. We all have. Pakistan are capitulating at Cardiff! Four to go for Sri Lanka for a mighty come-from-behind triumph.

25th over: Pakistan 132-5 (Sarfraz 15, Imad 0). Imad, the new man in, was born in Wales and is the team’s translator. More on that shortly, because...

Malinga! Malinga! Malinga! The chant went up around Sophia Gardens, urging their ageing champion for one last special. And he delivers, an extra yard found to hurry up Shoaib. He tries to turn over his left shoulder to fine leg but only succeeds in getting a feather to the waiting ‘keeper. Maybe a bit of glove in there too, but the deviation is clear, the veteran is gone. MALINGA, MALINGA, MALINGA the roar continues. What a celebration too, rarely seen him carry on like that. Superb contest.

24th over: Pakistan 128-4 (Shoaib 10, Sarfraz 13). Two more dots from Lakmal to begin his seventh over, making eight on the trot. I know I’ve said a couple times that the run rate doesn’t matter now, but not for nothing at least making the two think about what they need. That number is reduced by three when Sarfraz times a graceful flick through midwicket.

23rd over: Pakistan 124-4 (Shoaib 9, Sarfraz 10). Superb bounce back from Malinga. All over the shop first over back into the attack, it’s a timely maiden here to Sarfraz. The final delivery could easily have ended up in the hands of midwicket for a third catch in that region, landing perhaps two metres away from the diving man. Pace off the ball for half the over, his bag of tricks are all on show.

22nd over: Pakistan 124-4 (Shoaib 9, Sarfraz 10). Pakistan have just on half the runs they require for a semi-final berth. Mathews sticking with Lakmal, who has been excellent. The man most likely. Three singles start the over but the third would have ran Sarfraz out again. Oh this is craaaazy times. The throw, again, missed. Probably the fifth time this innings. Degree of difficulty is very high, one stump there for mid-on to throw at. “It’s hard to be a Pakistan fan,” says Rameez Raja. True, dat. Five singles from it.

Whaddaya know: Essex are top of the league! Promoted from div two and doing it right. Will Macpherson here from Guildford, where they have knocked off Surrey.

Promoted Essex go top of the County Championship with emphatic eight-wicket win over Surrey @willis_macphttps://t.co/SrekX3VHpd

21st over: Pakistan 119-4 (Shoaib 7, Sarfraz 7). In keeping with the theme of the previous post, Malinga is back. The commentator on TV says he “is a little on the heavier side” nowadays. Yeah righto! He’s a professional sportsman opening the bowling for his country. He’s gotta eat. Slats adds “Malinga... the Slinger!” said in a way that gives the impression he came up with it then and there. The radar is off a bit, down the legside then giving Sarfraz ample room to free the arms, lashing a four to point. Nice. Another moment for SL, Sarfraz giving it the old, “yes, no, yes!” when running to the danger end. Direct hit definitely has him. Shoaib looks up and smiles. Sarfraz smiles back. All you can do in that situation. Eight from the over.

Sri Lanka have defended four scores lower than 236 v Pakistan & haven't defended one lower than 236 v any team since May 2014 (Ire). #CT17

20th over: Pakistan 111-4 (Shoaib 6, Sarfraz 1). The skipper Sarfraz out to the middle with a power of work to do alongside Shoaib. One more here changes everything, and SL’s passionate fans know it, lifting the intensity of the music. Only one run from the over to go with the wicket. Can’t imagine Mathews will be too worried about mathematics with his bowlers. Just needs ten wickets.

Here come Sri Lanka! Azhar, the set man, has guided a ball close to his body into the cordon and Mendis does the rest. Extra bounce, the ball deflected out to third slip or so. Brilliant from Mathews to have the man stationed there.

19th over: Pakistan 110-3 (Azhar 34, Shoaib 6). Michael Slater on the call going through the instruments being played by the Sri Lankan band in the stadium. He says he would have the “biggest electric guitar” he could get in there. Well, Slats, we know you can sing. Here he is at the Allan Border Medal with a skinful having a sing with Jimmy Barnes. Four singles from the Thisara set as Pakistan consolidate a touch.

18th over: Pakistan 106-3 (Azhar 32, Shoaib 5). Azhar gets resourceful! Lifting the second ball of Pradeep’s sixth set up over the keeper, after charging no less. It’s actually Shoaib’s 250th ODI, which is a lovely time to win a big game for your country. Cricbuzz tells me he is the fifth oldest to that mark:

37y 175d A Border
37y 078d G McGrath
36y 023d T Dilshan
35y 271d B Lara
35y 131d SHOAIB MALIK*

17th over: Pakistan 99-3 (Azhar 26, Shoaib 4). Shooooooot! Shoaib Malik has played about a 1000 ODIs and knows a thing or two about pushing back. First ball here, launches into a glorious square drive. They’re going to need every bit of his experience here.

GAME ON AT CARDIFF! Thisara’s hip-length attack has worked, undoing the new man Hafeez who doesn’t handle the pace well, spooning a second catch to midwicket in the space of eight balls! Pakistan! Oh dear. Oooooh dear.

16th over: Pakistan 94-2 (Azhar 25, Hafeez 1). Singles exchanged to end the over, Hafeez running Pradeep to third man to get off the mark. He has 5787 ODI runs coming into the fixture. What he’d give got about 70 odd today to put his side into the four.

Out! From nowhere really! Babar has been hitting them dreamily since his arrival, but has picked out catching midwicket here. The equation is simle for SL, they need ten wickets. They have two. They won’t be able to suffocate Pakistan short of the total after their rapid start, so every chance will need to be taken. Hafeez, the next man in, becomes an absolutely clutch wicket.

15th over: Pakistan 90-1 (Azhar 23, Babar 10). One to come before drinks. Thisara’s plan clear, targetting the hip and chest of both batsmen. Three risk-free singles taken along the way. All they need here. Have a plastic up of cordial, fellas.

Babar Azam has an average of 69.85 against spin bowling, higher than any other Pakistan batsman since his debut #SLvPAK#CT17

14th over: Pakistan 87-1 (Azhar 21, Babar 9). 4.25 needed an over from here, so they can afford to absor a few dot balls. Pradeep cool with that too as he and Barbar settle into a groove. But some shambolic fielding from the ‘keeper Dickwella turns one into three when, for reasons best explained by him and him alone, rolls the ball back down to the bowler’s end. Two painful overthrows. Barbar throws his hands at the last for a couple more and all of a sudden seven are taken from it.

13th over: Pakistan 80-1 (Azhar 19, Babar 4). Thisara back for a second go, having 13 taken off him the first time around. Far more sedade here, two from it. Uses the short ball well after the first attempt is called a wide. Bit harsh.

12th over: Pakistan 78-1 (Azhar 18, Babar 4). The young man Babar, who has had a phenomenal start to his ODI career but a slo start in this comp, hits a glorious stroke through point for four to end the over. The sound on that bad! Phwoar. Raced to the rope. Hit a similar stroke the ball before it, finding the man at point. But adjusted superbly. Class.

Postscript to one of the earlier stadium-clearing sixes.

Guy on the cycle path just found that ball, put it in his pocket and rode off.

Well, he’s done his job putting a huge dent in the SL total through the power play and getting to a brisk 50, but the 36th ball is the final one he’ll face today, Pradeep deservedly getting him with a short one. Fat top edge, taken well at fine leg. Urgently needed wicket. But need plenty more over the next hour or so.

11th over: Pakistan 74-0 (Azhar 18, Fakhar 50). Spin via Gunaratne. So less time for fun. Sorry about that in advance. Although, he does run in like a medium pacer. A bit of the Chris Harris about him. Oh, there’s an angle. Check out this coaching 1980s video with the the great former NZ skipper Jeremy Coney and Harris as a young’un. I won’t explain it. Just watch it. Fakhar collects another boundary, but with a delicate dab rather than a heave this time. Next ball: a push into the covers for a 35 ball half century! His first in ODI cricket. Big smile and they love it in the crowd, TV cutting to a sign reading ‘Fakhar is the Future.’ Certainly looks it. Nine more from the over. 47 in the previous five. Sri Lanka in the death zone.

10th over: Pakistan 65-0 (Azhar 16, Fakhar 43). Fakhar doesn’t have to do much here, Lakmal - brought back after one over from Thisara - angling into the left-hander from around the wicket and missing his line. Bread and butter for a lefty, turned around the corner and beating the man at the 45. Four more. By the eight of the power play’s final over a further four come, helped by a legside wide. Pakistan getting a chance to lay an early knock-out punch, I reckon. Athers confirms that Pakistan did need to win in ten overs to top the group. So that’s resolved now, it’ll be India and Bangladesh at Edgbaston on Thursday. Delicious.

John Williams on the email is helping me out on rivers and music. Perhaps not the most conventional OBO topic but let’s run with it. “Here’s a fine tribute to chilling by the mighty River Taff courtesy of tremendous Cardiff girl group The Baby Queens.” Thanks. Here it is.

9th over: Pakistan 57-0 (Azhar 16, Fakhar 36). Pakistan’s 50 is up through the Pradeep over. They’ve got their act together after looking ropey to begin. Then INTO THR RIVER AGAIN! What did I say about Pradeep? He’s done nothing wrong here, winning the fattest top edge slogging to midwicket, but instead it has gone out of the ground at third man! Get the fandangled bat speed machine on Fakhar’s blade there, I say. That’s gone bloody miles. A new ball comes out for the second time in as many overs. Oh I should add: Pradeep won his edge more conventionally to begin the over. The nick, of course, fell just short of first slip. Urrrgh. 13 more from the over. Sri Lanka another half hour or so from being out of this game.

So then, sticking with the Melbourne/river theme. Our Kylie and Our Nick with Their Duet.

8th over: Pakistan 44-0 (Azhar 16, Fakhar 24). WHOA! Into the RIVER goes Azhar to the first ball of Thisara Perera’s day. Have some of that. More or less right over his head. Reminds me of a club ground sometimes, Cardiff, with so many balls lost into the River Taff. Umpire Gunner Gould brings out a box to pick from. Certainly one way to break the proverbial shackles. He’s back to form, playing back along the carpet, immediately thereafter. When Fakhar gets his turn he doesn’t miss a beat, flogging Thisara back past his feet for four more. Making a nice dint in this chase now. A wide follows. Not a great start at all from the quick. 13 from it.

A song about rivers. It’s a little bit sweary, but a lot good. I’ll have another one for you next over.

7th over: Pakistan 31-0 (Azhar 9, Fakhar 19). Thrilled to see The Unluckiest Man In World Cricket Nawan Pradeep get a jam roll, replacing Malinga. He gets about with a bit of colour in the hair, a mullet out the back as well. Can move it both ways, in the air away from right handers and off the seam back towards them. The Sri Lankan Jimmy, how I described him last year. He’s into it early here, beating Fakhar on the outside edge then Azhar on the inside. I reserve the right to get very excited if, for just this once, things go his way.

Pakistan will need a new captain and keeper if they are found - after the game - to have been more than two overs behind the rate...

6th over: Pakistan 27-0 (Azhar 7, Fakhar 18). Athers on the box doing some expert computer analysis of Malinga’s action. Boils down to this: he’s hitting the shiny side of the ball rather than the seam, making it hard to swing. In the middle, Azhar fires a shot for the first time today, over the 30 yard circle and to the rope down to midwicket. Not the most convincing hoick you’ll see in this comp, but sufficient. Much more encouraging for Pakistan is the straight drive that follows, albeit straight to a fielder. He retains the strike with a single clipped to square leg, a sweeper out there early. Six to the slower of the two men from it.

Some colour here about semi-final tickets. In short: don’t play with touts if you’re an Indian fan who picked up one for Cardiff.

Info with regard to semi final tickets. pic.twitter.com/y0MnhvJe8X

5th over: Pakistan 21-0 (Azhar 2, Fakhar 18). Malinga again. Another quick single where Azhar looks exposed, failing to slide his bat properly, to the brief excitement of fielders. But he’s home. Only that and another single from the set. No hurry here, of course. But Azhar could do with getting his act together.

Chandimal being retired off by Sri Lankan fans on the interwebz. Bit harsh, given he stitched together - from memory - six half centuries on the spin about nine months ago. But I do admire the photoshop.

Hope this is Chandimal's last limited over match for Sri Lanka #ThankYouChandimalpic.twitter.com/snf5BWlMfp

4th over: Pakistan 19-0 (Azhar 1, Fakhar 17). The Sri Lankan fans break stride with the drums they have going in the outoer to give Azhar the Bronx Cheer when he finally gets off the mark, 15 balls after his arrival. Lakmal beat him with the first of the over too. But let’s himself down to Fakhar ending the over with a gimme on the hip, the opener making no mistake. He’s away.

Bit going on in the Shires, evidentially. Join Will Macpherson in another tab. County cricket: bloody hell.

County cricket - bloody hellhttps://t.co/DBaVbHjUu4

3rd over: Pakistan 14-0 (Azhar 0, Fakhar 13). “Have a look how UFO-like the ball comes down” asks Simon Doull of Malinga. You know what, I reckon we noticed that at some point over the last 15 years. The bowler twice overpitches on the spin here though, Fahkar taking both to the point boundary. The first was a full toss, but the second require some lovely timing to beat the ring. Malinga reverts to round the wicket. Doull adds to his earlier criticism, to be fair to him. He believes that Malinga once upon a time was more upright. Yeah? The change of direction has changed nothing though, Fahkar hitting the off-side rope for the third time in the set, courtesy of a delightful cover drive. Malinga ends the eventful over with a beauty, beating the left-hander with one that straightens after pitching. Handy.

If Zaman bats sensibly, no one will be able to call him a silly Fakhar... #ct17

2nd over: Pakistan 2-0 (Azhar 0, Fakhar 1). Pakistan’s run comes from Lakmal’s first delivery of the afternoon, a legside wide. Surprised Pradeep hasn’t got the new one - he is class. Blimey, what did I say about Pakistan never doing things easily? A clean pick up and throw - from Gunathilaka again, would have surely had Azhar back in the sheds, a suicide single for reasons that only the two in the middle can explain. Of course, he missed the pick up, so the throw never came. Village. No further runs. Get ready for chaos.

Of openers to have batted 10 innings since the 2015 WC, Azhar (79.19) has the 2nd lowest SR in #CT17. The lowest? Shehzad's 74.61 #SLvPAK

1st over: Pakistan 0-0 (Azhar 0, Fakhar 0). Malinga has the new ball and immeditely finds his length, Azhar shouldering arms a couple of times then displaying a nice, straight blade. OH NO! DROPPED CATCH! Azhar flogs a shorter delivery to gully and Ghunathilaka has put it down. Sharp chance, low. But after batting the way they did it has to be taken. The replay doesn’t flatter, nothing wrong with the catching height. A maiden that should be a wicket maiden. Well then.

“You can’t judge a pitch until both teams have batted.” Simon Doull’s take as they walk back on. To the White Stripes, of course.

But why can’t you? The both teams/judgment line is used a lot. Hell, I’ve almost certainly said it. But in this rapid world of ours, why can’t we judge a track earlier than that? Don’t they evolve across the 100 overs anyway? Ponder that. Okay, we’re on.

Afternoon. Thanks, Daniel for steering us through the morning. Pakistan’s quicks have done their bit. Can their sketchy batting list do the same and pop them through to the final four? On paper, of course they should. But I’d be surprised if it was easy. I’ve watched a lot of Pakistan over the last few years and nothing is easy.

Phil Russell is straight out of the blocks with a query on the email. “How many overs do Pakistan need to get these in to have a good enough NRR to win the group? Guessing it’s about 10?” Oh yeah, I like this. But I have absolutely no clue how to calculate. Despite doing this for a living, I leave NRR and DLS to others. Someone fancy having a bash at it for us before they players arrive?

So, thanks all for your company and comments; Adam Collins will be here presently to narrate the chase.

Sri Lanka batted pretty well through most of that innings, but were undone, first by Hasan Ali and then by a brilliant post-drinks spell from Junaid Khan and Mohammad Amir. Or, put another way, Pakistan are Pakistan so pakistaned; and as such, might still lose.

That’s not enough is it?

Pradeep leaps back to try and turn to leg but instead loops up a return catch via leading edge. What a performance from Pakistan!

48th over: Sri Lanka 235-9 (Malinga 8, Pradeep 1) Malinga takes a single, Pradeep does likewise, and then a slower ball absolutely befuddles the former. It’s impossible to watch limited overs cricket and not wonder how its finest exponents will do in Tests, and I can’t wait to see Hasan; he finishes with 3-43 from his 10 overs, and with seven wickets in the tournament sits behind Plunkett and Hazlewod in the list of bowlers.

He’ll throw the bat! Except Hasan has sent him an off-spinner that makes it harder for him to generate the necessary power to clear the long boundary. Instead he picks out the fielder, ending a gutsy, intelligent and crucial knock.

48th over: Sri Lanka 232-8 (Gunaratne 27, Malinga 6) Amir’s first two balls cede just a single, and then Hasan Ali dives very nicely to stop Malinga’s flick around the corner. Naturally, Amir responds with a bouncer - Gunaratne has been backing away, so the bowler followed him - and there’s a brief pause but no new helmet. Gunaratne, though, remains unshaken, adding two and enjoying a wide, before taking a single to retain the strike. Will he throw the bat or take whatever he can?

47th over: Sri Lanka 226-8 (Gunaratne 23, Malinga 5) Hasan continues and the batsmen look for singles ... Malinga taps to cover, and breaks into a stroll well before Hafeez shies - if he hits it’s out by miles ... but he misses. Next, Hasan slams it in, and Gunaratne looks at something in his midriff, and at the same time scoops a one-bounce. The no-look Gunascoop.

46th over: Sri Lanka 218-8 (Gunaratne 17, Malinga 3) Sanjay Manjrekar reckons Hasan has been the picks of the bowlers; I’d go Junaid, who returns here to finish off. And after two singles and a wide, he ought to have another wicket! Gunaratne plays a reverse flick off a low full-toss which loops up to short third man; it’s a dolly, but Faheem Ashraf leaps unnecessarily and spills it nonetheless.

45th over: Sri Lanka 214-8 (Gunaratne 16, Malinga 1) A run a ball gets around 245; a run a ball and a big over gets around 260. Sri Lanka are still properly in this.

As I was saying, Hasan Ali was just about to send down a off-cutting slower delivery that induced Lakmal to slog and miss far too early. The ball duly clips the very top of the bails - for extra amusement, entirely without his knowledge. Byeee! Off you pop!

45th over: Sri Lanka 213-7 (Gunaratne 16, Lakmal 26) The excellence of this comeback cannot be overstated. Of course, Pakistan were never going to sustain that frankly repulsive brilliance, but Sri Lanka could easily have been tempted by the prospect of home. Yet they were not.

44th over: Sri Lanka 210-7 (Gunaratne 25, Lakmal 15) Amir returns in place of Hasan, but his first delivery is too straight; Gunaratne eases it down to fine leg for three, Fakhar again saving the boundary. Lakmal, meanwhile, is enjoying himself; he turns two away to mid-on, then smacks a fuller one over the bowler’s head to the fence.

43rd over: Sri Lanka 200-7 (Gunaratne 18, Lakmal 12) The batsmen are in now, and it looks like they’ll post a target to give Pakistan pause; you’d back them to chase 240, but with someone else’s money. They take three from the over, raising their team’s 200 in the process; the partnership is 33.

42nd over: Sri Lanka 197-7 (Gunaratne 16, Lakmal 11) Hasan serves Lakmal a half-volley, and credit where it’s due - despite his confusion these last few minutes, he doesn’t miss out, slamming four through mid-off. And after a leg-bye and a single, he raps four more; Hasan is bowling fuller than before to remove the tailenders, when his shorter length was working fine.

41st over: Sri Lanka 187-7 (Gunaratne 10, Lakmal 8) Imad sends an arm ball at Lakmal that totally hoodwinks him by doing absolutely nothing, so next go he tries to mow into the leg side and takes it on the boot. There’s a strangulated appeal, but that was going just dow, and Lakmal does better thereafter, stroking a single to long-off. No more runs from the over, though we should note that Umpire Oxenford signals wide, is told by his partner that the ball flicked the pad, so overrules himself.

40th over: Sri Lanka 185-7 (Gunaratne 9, Lakmal 7) Hasan isn’t as on it as he was earlier, which tells us that it’s probably time for a jaffa. But not this over, which sees a princely one added to the total; to be competitive, Sri Lanka need another 60, I’d say.

Rob Smyth returns to note that “These *profanity as a compliment* won a World Cup after losing their first game by 10 wickets, being bowled out for 74 in the third and winning one of the first five games!”

39th over: Sri Lanka 184-7 (Gunaratne 8, Lakmal 7) Sarfraz, who has captained superbly since winning the toss - his changes and field placings have been very good indeed - brings on Imad. His first delivery flicks the pad, and it looks close though still going down, then is followed by five more dots. The boot has stopped stamping the throat, to tread on it instead.

38th over: Sri Lanka 184-7 (Gunaratne 8, Lakmal 7) And here’s the man who started it the first time: Hasan Ali has the ball, and he won’t wait to be asked. He’s not bowling that quickly though as he searches for his line, ceding three; who’d have thought that’d count as welcome respite half an hour ago?

“Initially thought it was a huge gamble to bowl first,” emails Nabeel Younas, “what with Pakistan being awful at chasing half-decent totals (never mind huge ones), but it’s paying dividends at the moment. It’s nice to see all the seamers playing their part. In the past, one or two would play well but be let down by an expensive spell by another errant bowler.”

37th over: Sri Lanka 179-7 (Gunaratne 5, Lakmal 5) It’s always invigorating to be reminded that amid the scoops, flat-bats and slogs, brilliant bowling beats all else. Things have quietened for a second - perhaps it’s time for Hasan - but it doesn’t much matter.

“Both times Pakistan won a global tournament they were thrashed in the opening game,” recalls ... RA Smyth, obviously. And they also won in Cardiff last term. Good luck, England!

36th over: Sri Lanka 174-7 (Gunaratne 4, Lakmal 1) And Hasan Ali has six overs left! I’m not sure he’ll need all of those. But Gunaratne sees five wides added to the score, before Amir slings down a rare yorker - somehow, an under-edge earns a single. It is amazing how quickly this game has been effectively finished ... or has it? This is Pakistan after all.

35th over: Sri Lanka 167-7 (Gunaratne 3, Lakmal 0) That was last ball of the of the over, but let’s not mither with fripperies of that ilk. We are in the presence of greatness, we are in the presence of Pakistan. Savour every last sensation.

What a spell this is, at both ends! This is back of a length and moves just as Thisara plays, then spanks his edge on the way past, to be snaffled in front of his phizog by Babar at first slip. That’s a fine catch! Sri Lanka don’t know what has hit them! Pakistan has hit them!

35th over: Sri Lanka 167-6 (Gunaratne 3, Thisara 1) Every run is now a struggle. Re the haal, read and love this.

Related: Exploring the soul of the Pakistan cricket team

34th over: Sri Lanka 165-6 (Gunaratne 2, Thisara 0) Amir is bowling sharply now! But Thisara finds a leg-bye, then Fakar lets the ball through his legs at point and they run two. The crowd are absolutely loving this; every ball is an event, and Pakistan are swarming Sri Lanka now! In steams Amir, Gunaratne edges, and Sarfraz looks to have taken another brilliant catch, diving right and holding low! Except his momentum rolls him over, the ball spills, and the soft signal is not out; the tape confirms it. Can Sri Lanka bat the 50?

What a catch this is. What a catch this is. And what a wicket this is! Dickwella edges unexpectedly, so Sarfraz changes direction and slides a glove under the ball, on the dive. That three wickets for one run in 12 balls since drinks!

33rd over: Sri Lanka 162-5 (Dickwella 73, Gunaratne 0) This is such an attack. Wicket-maiden from Junaid, and 320 has suddenly become 270.

The haal is rolling! Junaid, whose last over was a beauty, slants in a full one which nips off the seam, zooms away from the bat, kisses its edge, and is taken behind. De Silva, who only arrived yesterday, is probably wondering why he bothered.

32nd over: Sri Lanka 162-4 (Dickwella 73, De Silva 1) That was Amir’s first wicket of the competition, and ramps up the pressure on Dickwella; he is going to have to carry this innings while the others swing around him. One off the over, to go with the cricket, and Amir is now up to 138 clicks.

Mathews' average vs left-arm pace in ODIs is 28.31, his lowest against any bowl type. He is yet to face Aamir or Junaid in this inns. #CT17

And there it is! Amir extracts some extra bounce and Mathews mistimes his flick to midwicket - he ought to have played into the off side really - sending an inside-edge careering into his stumps! My days did Pakistan need that.

32nd over: Sri Lanka 161-3 (Dickwella 73, Mathews 39) That break might just help Pakistan who are searching for something.

31st over: Sri Lanka 161-3 (Dickwella 73, Mathews 39) I think we’ll see Mathews going hard now; Dickwella will stick around, so there’s a chance for him. Sarfraz recognises this, bringing back Junaid, and he spirits a seam-upper past Dickwella’s outside-edge and then another! He felt for both of those, and how set he is tells you how good they were. And there’s another! Beautiful bowling.

“I kid you not, but am editing a draft paper by a co-author which has ‘commonly-used’, ‘ad-hoc’ and ‘near-total’, returns Kabindra.

30th over: Sri Lanka 160-3 (Dickwella 73, Mathews 38) In which regard Pakistan bring back Amir, but Mathews isn’t arsed; he takes a couple of stutter-hops down the track and clouts four over mid-on. He timed that so, so well - as he does a pull off a short ball, which only gets two not four because of an excellent stop from Azhar Ali. He is zoned.

29th over: Sri Lanka 151-3 (Dickwella 73, Mathews 30) “Something between the six and the eight will be on Sri Lanka’s mind.” Er, what might that possibly be? This is a good over anyway, four singles before Dickwella gets well forward to the final ball and slams it hard into the ground and away for four through cover. Beautiful shot., and Pakistan are back to needing a wicket.

28th over: Sri Lanka 143-3 (Dickwella 67, Mathews 28) Dickwella pulls a bad ball towards square-leg, but Fakar Zaman hares after it and saves a single with his dive; they run three. In commentary, they reckon Sri Lanka will be looking for five an over till about 37, at which point they’ll want their sloggers in.

27th over: Sri Lanka 138-3 (Dickwella 63, Mathews 27) Imad’s first ball is wide and pleading for punishment; Mathews picks out the man at point, and chastises himself accordingly. Oh my! After a single, Dickwella back away and, to paraphrase John Arlott, plays a chop so late it’s reincarnated. The ball was right in front of the stumps; that was as dicey as riley.

26th over: Sri Lanka 136-3 (Dickwella 62, Mathews 26) As I was saying, Mathews will immediately saunter down the track and hoist Hafeez for six. Next ball, he defends to leg, sprints down the track, AND IMAD SMASHES DOWN THE STUMPS AT THE BOWLER’S! BUT MATHEWS’ DIVE HAS PRESERVED HIS WICKET! That’s brilliant for both batsman and fieldsman. Nine off the over.

“Your point on spurious-hyphenation is so very-good and well-taken. This habit in-fact totally-annoying,” tweets Kabindra.

25th over: Sri Lanka 122-3 (Dickwella 62, Mathews 18) Imad returns and is gently milked, five come from the other and we’re halfway; Sri Lanka will have t turn it up soon, but not quite yet; they don’t bat all that deep and will need this pair to score most of their runs.

24th over: Sri Lanka 122-3 (Dickwella 61, Mathews 14) Hafeez isn’t spinning it, but is hurrying through overs so fast as to make them vanish. Four off this one.

23rd over: Sri Lanka 118-3 (Dickwella 58, Mathews 13) Fahim sends down an accidental beamer; Dickwella handles it well, hooking for one. It’s still a no ball, though, so Mathews has a free hit - or a “free-hit” if the scoreboard is to be believed. And really, what is it with hyphens these days; I recently saw a footballer described as playing “in-behind”. Er, ok. Anyway, Mathews flips for four to wide midwicket; the Lankans needed that. And they keep at it thereafter, adding four more singles and a two to make it 12 for the over, their most profitable since the fourth.

22nd over: Sri Lanka 106-3 (Dickwella 53, Mathews 7) Dickwella doesn’t get all of a sweep, but the ball drops short of deep square-leg and they run a one. It’s been a while since the last boundary, and the remainder of this over sees a wide, a bye and a single.

21st over: Sri Lanka 102-3 (Dickwella 51, Mathews 7) Aha - Fahim is back at Hasan’s end. Mathews takes a single, then Dickwella ramps him - Junaid almost runs past the ball, coming from wider. Athers uses this as an opportunity to point out that at Cardiff, you want your men fine, as the boundaries are shorter there.

20th over: Sri Lanka 100-3 (Dickwella 50, Mathews 6) Hafeez on for Fahim and Dickwella comes down immediately, taking one on the pad. So he waits for the next ball, turning to leg and ambling through for his fifty, which has come off 52 deliveries. Mathews then edges two, before imparting a leading edge that drops safe and adds one. Six an over from here gets 280, eight an over gets 340.

19th over: Sri Lanka 96-3 (Dickwella 49, Mathews 3) Sri Lanka have righted themselves somewhat, but need this partnership to do some work. After the batsmen add a single each, Hasan goes around the wicket to Dickwella, of whom he’ll particularly want rid; a single gets him down the other end, but a decent line and some extra lift discomfits Mathews, who swings at the final ball, missing.

18th over: Sri Lanka 93-3 (Dickwella 47, Mathews 2) Quick running earns Dickwella two, but Fahim retorts well with a skiddy delivery that shoots past the edge. But like Anthony Soprano Junior he struggles to maintain, sending down consecutive wides and ceding two further singles.

“I failed not to swear when I just checked the score.” emails Hugh Maguire. “This Pakistan attack…

17th over: Sri Lanka 86-3 (Dickwella 43, Mathews 1) Hasan’s third nut is a nut, bouncing just enough, moving just enough, and making Mathews look cumbersome. He doesn’t get a touch though, so resets to go again. One off the over.

“Does sitting through a meeting without a single yawn count as an achievement? Ok I also looked ‘engaged’,” tweets Sraye.

16th over: Sri Lanka 85-3 (Dickwella 42, Mathews 1) Mathews has a look, which makes this a chance for Pakistan; if they can get shot of him, they’ll be set. But he flat-bats one to point to get off the mark, then Dickwella, who’s still at the other end, gets a single of his own.

“Not sure this is my greatest achievement re my child,” emails Peter Salmon, “but the ONE TIME I forgot to bring a nappy bag with me, my one-year-old daughter Pearl threw up all over the back of the car while I was out shopping. I had to strip her naked and run to the nearest clothing shop. ‘Please help me,’ says I. ‘I need some clothes for my child!’ Not a good dad look. I may have set gender politics back several years, although it was in Shropshire, so maybe not. Oh, and surely ‘Shine on You Crazy Diamond’ is more appropriate for a game featuring Lasith Malinga.”

It’s all changed! Chandimal stretches to crack a wide one through cover, but doesn’t move his feet at all and ends up dragging on via bottom edge.

15th over: Sri Lanka 83-2 (Dickwella 41, Chandimal 0) Pakistan needed that, and Hasan sends down a similar delivery, quick and nipping back but a touch shorter with a touch more bounce. Chandimal wears it on pubis and the fielders are up!

Bazzer of a jazzer from Hasan! He goes wide of the grease and slings down a quick one which swings in and clatters the actual bails, middle and off. He celebrates like he means it too, and that’s Pakistan cricket right there!

15th over: Sri Lanka 82-1 (Dickwella 41, Mendis 27) Pakistan don’t look like getting a wicket nor to they look like stemming the flow of runs. But Hasan is a wicket-taker, and nearly nobbles Mendis when he goes to flicks to leg only to inside-edge into the pad...

14th over: Sri Lanka 81-1 (Dickwella 40, Mendis 27) Hello, hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me, is there anyone home? This morning I stubbed my toe on a ladder, and managed to yelp without swearing in front of my 3-year-old daughter; do email in with your finest recent achievements. Seven from the over, and their doing a fine job of accumulating without fuss.

WATCH:

In-play highlights from the winner takes all #CT17 clash https://t.co/vkgEHTQrLs#PAKvSLpic.twitter.com/K7KxxuBNCX

13th over: Sri Lanka 74-1 (Dickwella 36, Mendis 24) Hasan Ali into the attack and he overpitches a touch, so Mendis welcomes him to the match with a drive on the up, more or less one-armed; his bottom hand flies off the bat while he plays the stroke. Hasan responds well enough though, ceding four singles from the remaining five balls, the last of which is a jazzer, lifting sharply off a length and leaving Mendis to play inside it.

12th over: Sri Lanka 66-1 (Dickwella 34, Mendis 18) Sarfraz tries Fahim, and Dickwella goes to third man again, adding two, then square leg for two more. Off the fourth ball, though, he nearly drags on, but Pakistan can’t build pressure; Babar is caught chilling, turning one into two.

Another wonder of the modern world: Paulie Gualtieri’s laugh.

11th over: Sri Lanka 60-1 (Dickwella 28, Mendis 18) Mendis takes a single, then Dickwella goes down on one knee to flip around the corner to fine leg; they sprint the first run to enable the second. Then, after a dot, Dickwella shows that he’s on top of Imad, waiting to see if the ball moves, then feathers it late, earning four at third man. A two and a one follow, making it 10 from the over; Pakistan need something.

10th over: Sri Lanka 50-1 (Dickwella 19, Mendis 17) Lovely from Mendis, leaping back and across to glide four through square-leg with velvet wrists. Next ball, he comes down to defend, so Junaid hurls at him and/or the stumps - he chuckles to compound any annoyance - and then grinds it in further by cracking four more to backward square-leg. Lovely tackle, 10 off the over, and Mendis is now in.

9th over: Sri Lanka 40-1 (Dickwella 19, Mendis 8) Time for spin; Imad Wasim is on. Mendis turns a single to square-leg, Dickwella does likewise to cover - they sprint through - and then Mendis pushes a further one to leg.

8th over: Sri Lanka 37-1 (Dickwella 18, Mendis 6) Oh this is lovely! Mendis leans into a length ball, the first of the over, and introduces it to the full phizog in perfect form. That’s four all the way. I mean of course it is, because every four is, but there was never any doubt. Or something like that. But Junaid comes back well, ceding only another single.

7th over: Sri Lanka 32-1 (Dickwella 18, Mendis 1) Dickwella twists one to midwicket and they run three; Ashraf does well to be arsed with the chase, saving one in the process. Mendis then opens his account with a single and Amir slings down a bumper - Dickwella ducks - and then flicks two to midwicket. They kept things ticking nicely in that over.

6th over: Sri Lanka 26-1 (Dickwella 13, Mendis 0) Mendis, who’s in lovely touch, has a look at the bowling - perhaps he’s learning from Gunathilaka, who forced it.

This was very simple, and just what Pakistan needed. Gunathilaka looked to drive on the up, the ball wasn’t there for him, he went anyway, and lobbed a simple catch to mid-off. He’ll be ruing that missed two harder now; don’t laugh.

5th over: Sri Lanka 26-0 (Dickwella 13, Gunathilaka 13) Some much-needed control from Amir; he starts with a bouncer, and his line is much tighter this over, nothing too straight. A single off the final delivery is all it yields; really it ought to have been two.

4th over: Sri Lanka 25-0 (Dickwella 13, Gunathilaka 12) Crack! Begone! Junaid gives Gunathilaka width first up and he does not miss out, rocking back to fling hands, wrists, arms and shoulders right through the ball which sizzles through cover to the fence. A dot follows, and then Gunathilaka goes again, forcing over midwicket. He’s not timed that one, but it dribbled over the rope nonetheless and the bowlers are now under a bit of pressure. And even more so now; Dickwella strolls across his stumps while the ball’s still in-hand, then, when it arrives, ramps it over the keeper for a one-bounce four! Beautifully done!

3rd over: Sri Lanka 12-0 (Dickwella 9, Gunathilaka 3) Dickwella turns Amir’s opening delivery around the corner; it drops just short of Hafeez at short midwicket. Two twos follow, and then, after a dot, yerman goes; he tries to lift of the leg side but instead imparts a top edge; they run three and it falls safe. But this is much better, a gen-u-ine flick to wide long on which also adds three. Much better over for the Lankans.

2nd over: Sri Lanka 4-0 (Dickwella 4, Gunathilaka 0) Junaid with the ball at the other end, and he finds a touch a seam - just enough - to move one away from Gunathilaka. But it defeats his edge, and then so does another - except this time the batsman plays, looking to drive down the ground, then he misses again. Maiden, and a fine one at that.

1st over: Sri Lanka 4-0 (Dickwella 4, Gunathilaka 0) Amir opens up with a beaut, swinging away and squaring up his man. It’s proper windy out there, throuser billowing like garish marquees, so Dickwella has a look at things before timing a push, transferring his weight perfectly into the stroke to find the point fence. That was fit as, was that.

Play!

Mo Amir is warming his arm as Ramiz tells us batting is about “not having a pixelated mind”. I love that. I think Dickwella will be fine.

It has now seamlessly segued into Seven Nation Army. Imaginative, what.

It’s ripe for a jungle remix, though.

The Sri Lanka tune is a choon.

Anthem time. There’s hardly anyone in the ground; is it really beyond the organisers to go around local schools handing them out for nowt?

A pleasure of watching cricket is partial, passionate, knowledgeable commentary. This ICC broadcast squad has ruined that.

Imad Wasim reckons Babar Azam is the best player of his age in world cricket. He’s certainly the most fun.

I’m compiling the seven wonders of the modern world.

1. Ramiz Raja’s hair.

Angelo Mathews is important. More news as I get it.

Ramiz reckons we’ve got a typical English track, and Athers confirms that there’s more in it for the seamers than at the Oval, with quite a thick layer of grass. Boundaries are short straight and long down the ground.

As far as our teams go, Pakistan make one change: Faheem Ashraf for Shadab Khan, a seamer for a leggy. The short boundaries and general conditions are responsible.

The Lankans have also made one change, an batsman for a batsman: Dhananjaya de Silva for the inured Kusal Perera.

Angelo Matthews would’ve done likewise - overhead conditions might be helpful, and there’s a touch of grass on the pitch.

Roughly, we watch sport for two reasons: to see what happens, and to see something incredible; in both of those aspects. we have no greater ally than the Pakistan cricket team. In this tournament alone, they have been annihilated by India and have annihilated South Africa thanks to their peculiar confection of aggressive bowling, enterprising batting and wondrous awfulness.

Sri Lanka, meanwhile, have been much the same: first they were walloped by South Africa and then they caned India. Accordingly, relating what’s likely to happen today is a complete waste of time; we’d be as well nailing jelly to a wall, or asking the Great British public a crucial question to determine the future of the nation. All we know if that at some point there’ll be a winner, and that team will meet England in the semi-final. Enjoy the ride!

Continue reading...

England v Pakistan: ICC Champions Trophy semi-final – live!

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41st over: England 173-6 (Stokes 17, Rashid 5) Middle-order collapses have been something of a feature of this tournament, a feature from which England looked immune until today. They’re still struggling to get on the front foot against the lively Junaid, who yields only four singles from his eight over. He’s gone for only 37 today. We could be heading for a low-scoring classic here. Proper Cricket.

40th over: England 169-6 (Stokes 15, Rashid 3) Rashid steers Shadab elegantly behind point to get off the mark with two. Another single brings Stokes to the strike, but he can’t fully master Shadab’s combinations, and there are only four runs from the over. And we go into an intriguing last powerplay.

“Ells bells, what a carry on,” worries Andrew Benton. “What’s hampering England? They play as if they went on a picnic with a huge Harrods hamper and stuffed and drank themselves happy, and have just realised there is an important cricket match to play. The only alternative - this could be an example of “covfefe”, snatching success from the brink of failure, aka Andy Murray.”

39th over: England 165-6 (Stokes 14, Rashid 0) We still have pace at one end, as Junaid continues and, after a Stokes single, strikes, inducing Moeen to hook a short ball down to Fakhar at deep square leg who takes a brilliant catch. There’s a big responsibility plonked on Ben Stokes’s sturdy shoulders now – England couldn’t half do with having Woakes fit right now – as a couple more singles complete the over.

@tomdaviesE17 Just checked match odds on Paddy Power and they surprisingly still have England slight favourites to win.

Moeen hooks into the deep and Fakhar Zaman takes a magnificent high running catch, and Pakistan have another treasured scalp.

38th over: England 161-5 (Stokes 10, Moeen 11) Spin returns to the attack, in the form of the redoubtable Hafeez (there are suggestions Hassan might have a touch of cramp). Moeen and Stokes each crack a single before Moeen properly gets holds off one, scooping high over midwicket off the front foot for four. England have no option but to seek to attack the spinners now.

37th over: England 155-5 (Stokes 9, Moeen 6) There is plenty of movement both in the air and off the seam at the moment, which England’s own bowlers are going to have to take succour from, because their batsmen are continuing to struggle to assert themselves. Stokes tries to attack Junaid but can’t time anything past the infield – four very good dot balls are followed by a quick single as a forced back-foot off-drive is fumbled at mid-off before Moeen pulls another single to deep square leg. Notions of reaching a 300+ total look particularly fanciful right now.

36th over: England 153-5 (Stokes 8, Moeen 5) The over starts with a rash play and miss by Moeen at an away-swinger from Hassan, who produces an even better one next ball, angled in and jagging away, just missing the batsman’s edge and the top of off-stump. Proper “that were too good for thee” stuff. Brilliant. Four dot balls are followed by a much-needed boundary, a not wholly convincing square drive for four but it was timed well enough by Moeen even if not quite where he aimed it. He’s not had much batting time in this tournament and it shows at the moment, though he’s up against some bowling of the highest class from Hassan.

35th over: England 149-5 (Stokes 8, Moeen 1) Junaid joins in the fun, finding a low edge to remove England’s big late-overs dangerman, Buttler, first ball after the break. There’s pressure on Stokes and the new man, Moeen, now. Moeen’s off the mark with a bunted single through the legside off a full toss before Stokes plays away three dot balls and opts to leave a short sharp lifter outside off-stump. Stokes has eight runs off 23 balls, but England need him to stick around now until well beyond the 40th over.

Junaid strikes, first ball after drinks, moving one a fraction off the seam and Buttler edges low to the keeper. England in some bother now.

34th over: England 148-4 (Stokes 8, Buttler 4) More probing assertive stuff from Hassan, from which England can winkle out only two more singles. I think they’re going to pause now, while jugs of orange squash and plastic cups are brought out by whoever’s turn it is to do the teas today. Drinks.

“Googling ‘Anti-Yorkshire Space Lizard Conspiracy’ gets only one hit, this OBO” writes Robin Hazlehurst, revealing the fruits of his productive morning, “while googling ‘Anti-Yorkshire Conspiracy’ gets more, all of which are denying there is a conspiracy. Absolute cast-iron proof right there that there is one, and it must be run by space lizards as nobody had earlier accused them. Obviously. That’s how conspiracy theories work isn’t it?” I couldn’t possibly tell you either way, Robin, otherwise …

33rd over: England 146-4 (Stokes 7, Buttler 3) Sarfraz, buoyed, brings back Junaid Khan to his attack. He concedes a couple of singles before zinging a brilliant bouncer past the advancing Buttler. They take two more ones before Buttler swings and misses at another delivery that certainly offered some lateral movement. Can still be a bowler’s game, this.

32nd over: England 142-4 (Stokes 5, Buttler 1) Hassan returns, with six overs still to bowl, this time from the river end. He gets some bounce and pins Morgan back, and after an unhurried single, Hassan finds the edge of Stokes’s bat, but it brings only a single to third man. The edge Hassan finds next ball is rather more decisive though, Morgan attempting a fearsome back-foot drive against one that jags away from him off the seam and only edging to the keeper. Hassan has done it again against the left-handers. Buttler, in earlier than England would have liked, gets off the mark with a cover drive for one. England’s two most exciting batsmen are now in, against Pakistan’s most exciting bowler. It’s must-watch stuff (if you’ve got access for paid-for telly)

“As a conspiratorial space lizard,” croaks Bob O’Hara, “I just want to apologise to Durham for the mess-up last season. I’m afraid our galactic ray mis-fired after a seagull dropped a stick of rhubarb on the secondary emissions regulator. We would also like to know if you have any knowledge of the whereabouts of a Mr Gary Naylor, as he seems to have absconded with 16 trillion Arcobills.”

And another! Hassan does it again, inducing Morgan to slash and edge outside off-stump in frustration, and the keeper takes it easy. This is a major scalp.

31st over: England 139-3 (Morgan 32, Stokes 4) The all-spin continues, with a let-off for Morgan off Hafeez, who hacks and misses outside leg stump. It misses the stumps by a whisker, ricochets off the keeper and lands in the hands of the man at leg-slip. Hafeez continues to offer neither variation nor easy hits to England, and it’s working, in terms of stemming the flow of runs. Three singles are all that this over yields.

@tomdaviesE17 "Anti-Yorkshire Space Lizard Conspiracy" sounds like a Charlie Stross novel from the Laundry Files. https://t.co/Um9NAd6rj8

30th over: England 136-3 (Morgan 30, Stokes 3) Shadab tucks up Morgan for a couple of balls before the left-hander gets forward and assertively reverse sweeps high off the front foot for four through the vacant third man area. Masterful cricket from the captain. Six from the over in total.

29th over: England 130-3 (Morgan 25, Stokes 2) Neither Morgan nor Stokes can get Hafeez away, and a languid Stokes single is all that England can muster. Slow and steady is doing the job for Hafeez here, for the moment.

But…

Be careful, Pakistan. In the final 10 overs Eng's SR is 140, way above the global avg of 116...#engvpak#ct17

28th over: England 129-3 (Morgan 25, Stokes 1) Shadab breaks the partnership. Root, who had gently shimmied towards a half-century without attracting much attention, edges behind on 46, having hit only two boundaries. Will we have a gear change now Stokes is in? He’s defensive off his first two balls, the second of which is a wonderful googly pitched outside leg stump, before getting off the mark with a push straight on the offside for a single. For all my pre-match eulogies to Pakistani pace, more than half their overs so far have been spin, and it’s been pretty damn effective.

This one IS out. Root steps back and tries to cut Shadab, but the pace and bounce foxes him and he edges behind.

27th over: England 127-2 (Root 46, Morgan 24) Root, who’s been in a bit of a backseat role so far, takes a single off Hafeez, who continues to just probe an accurate line, conceding one more single and a ramped Root two.

“Being a Yorkshireman (in exile),” writes Ben Powell. “I obviously fully concur with the possibility of an Anti-Yorkshire-Space-Lizard-Conspiracy. I note YJB scored, though, in excess of Roy’s tally from 3 innings so am more than happy that England haven’t stuck with the stable line-up option. I’m more worried that this match looks as if the clock has been turned back 20 years or so to a late ‘90s approach to ODI batting. Or am I just spoilt rotten by recent batting displays?” You’re being spoiled a bit really – plenty of time to come yet, and Pakistan have bowled decently.

26th over: England 123-2 (Root 43, Morgan 23) Another England escape. Morgan is given out after sweeping and nudging behind to the keeper but reviews. And hot-spot shows it didn’t hit the glove, just his arm. They check for the lbw, but it’s going well over the top, and the captain survives. He celebrates by lashing the last ball of the over through the covers for four.

“I saw Anti-Yorkshire Space Lizard Conspiracy supporting Sons of Ishmael at The Wigan Den in 1991,” quips Aidan Taylor. “Not as good as their early demos suggested.”

25th over: England 118-2 (Root 42, Morgan 19) Hafeez comes on at the other end, replacing Hassan after four overs. He drops one short and is punished by a rare boundary of pedigree, a forceful pull past midwicket to the ropes. The quick singles are being well run too, and there’s a feeling that the England captain is setting himself up nicely here. England reach the halfway stage having hit only 10 boundaries, but you wouldn’t bet against them trebling that tally, at least, in the remainder of the innings.

24th over: England 111-2 (Root 40, Morgan 14) Shadab comes back into the attack, and gives little away either – three singles, but no wickets, so there is a real sense that this one could go either way.

“I’m not having a slow day at work,” writes Paul Billington, while his boss is having a coffee break, “so have only had a reasonably short space of time to contemplate why Roy was dropped. I had thought it was because he wasn’t playing very well, but now I’m starting to wonder if the anti-Yorkshire-space-lizard-conspiracy is actually the reason.” Anti-Yorkshire Space Lizard Conspiracy would be a decent name for a novelty political party standing in a high-profile by-election, I reckon. You read this idea first here.

23rd over: England 108-2 (Root 38, Morgan 13) The boundary famine is ended, in less than convincing fashion, as Morgan’s miscued pull goes past the diving wicketkeeper Sarfraz and races down to the short boundary at the River Taff End. Hassan continues to bowl excellently though, varying his pace and not offering anything loose. Root’s well-timed, clipped single completes a more productive over for England however.

22nd over: England 101-2 (Root 36, Morgan 8) Root punts Hafeez down the ground for a single, Morgan flicks another. Two more ones take England to three figures, but boundaries continue to elude them. None of which means a big 300+ total is yet beyond them, as long as batting pairs stay together.

“It’s all very well Chris Drew and the other 6,457 thundering their unhappiness at my rather flippant remark. Yet I think they’re all non Yorkist supporters who were thinking it anyway,” continues Lee Smith, who seems to be having a slow morning at work. “The Yorkies are now distracted from the England match and are contemplating why Roy was dropped.”

21st over: England 96-2 (Root 33, Morgan 6) Root takes a quick single off Hassan, who continues to cramp Morgan up intelligently by spearing it into the left-hander from a wide angle. The England captain, now past 5,000 career ODI runs, can only deal in ones at the moment, as can Root. Only three from another high-calibre over, meaning England have now gone seven overs without a boundary.

20th over: England 93-2 (Root 31, Morgan 5) Sarfraz’s strategy of aggressive pace at one end and defensive spin at the other is earning plaudits from Ricky Ponting, who’s been something of a find as a pundit in this tournament. A couple of singles precede a rather hasty reverse-sweep attempt by Morgan, nudged from bat to pad, prompting a hopeful shout from Hafeez, but they’ve used their reviews anyhow. Two singles and a square-cut for two from the England captain is the hosts’ yield from the over.

19th over: England 89-2 (Root 30, Morgan 2) Hassan is relishing the chance to zip a couple of angled deliveries across the left-handed Morgan, who eventually gets a single with a low cut behind square for single. Hassan then sends a snorting lifter past Root, but it serves only to get extras off the mark at last, as it’s called wide. Root then square drives for two.

18th over: England 84-2 (Root 27, Morgan 1) Another bowling change, spin for spin, with Hafeez on for Shadab. He is milked for three singles before hemming Morgan in with a couple of stifling straight accurate balls. A potential momentum shift to Pakistan here, if they can keep it tight and claim another scalp or two.

“I’m blaming Lee Smith for the fall of the Bairstow wicket,” thunders Chris Drew, and 6,457 others.

17th over: England 81-2 (Root 25, Morgan 0) Hassan Ali – a contender for most watchable player of the tournament – is indeed into the attack. Hurray. England want to get at him straight away, but it’s their undoing, Bairstow toe-ending a forceful flick high on the legside straight into the hands of Mohammad Hafeez. The attempt to out-psyche a dangerous new bowler proved his undoing there – somehow typical of the new England that, in a good and bad way. Still, it was a handy enough knock from Bairstow. Root’s subsequent quick single is the only run of the over.

Hasan Ali comes into the attack and makes an impact once again! Bairstow getting onto the front foot and attempting to clear the field on the legside but only finding Hafeez at deep square leg for a simple catch.

16th over: England 80-1 (Bairstow 43, Root 24) Another half-chance dropped! Bairstow grubs outside off-stump at Shadab, and thick-edge high to Azhar first slip, who again can only parry and it just drops short of the man coming in from gully. Three singles from the over.

“I wonder if there are any Yorkist conspiracy theorists out there,” writes Lee Smith, tempting me to just stop him there and scoff at such a suggestion, “… who think Roy was dropped just so Bairstow couldn’t play against Surrey yesterday? I mean there are plenty of them and it doesn’t take much to get them muttering darkly into the cups of Yorkshire Tea!”

15th over: England 77-1 (Bairstow 41, Root 23) Imad continues to keep it tight, conceding only singles pushed in front of the wicket – four of them to be precise. The next intriguing turn may centre on the issue when Pakistan decide to deploy middle-overs maestro Hasan Ali.

14th over: England 73-1 (Bairstow 39, Root 21) Two fierce straight drives in a row from Bairstow off Shadab – one goes for four, the other is cut off at the boundary and brings only one. The spinner later sends a beauty jagging away past Bairstow’s outside edge – England can’t quite cut loose yet, but 300 looks on certainly.

13th over: England 67-1 (Bairstow 34, Root 20) Imad bottles it up at the Cathedral Road End, conceding only two singles. England are the fastest-scoring team in the tournament through overs 11-20, so overs like this will please Pakistan. Though neither Root nor Bairstow are looking particularly troubled at the moment.

12th over: England 65-1 (Bairstow 33, Root 19) Spin at both ends as the returning Shadab comes into the attack, and almost strikes straight away, inducing a sliced and nervy chip through the offside from Root that just eludes any fielders and brings him a single. But England are going to punish the bad stuff and a rank long hop is belted contemptuously wide of mid-on for four by Root. More eager scuttling between the wickets keeps the scoreboard ticking, and Shadab’s first over goes for seven.

11th over: England 58-1 (Bairstow 32, Root 13) A change of tone here, as Imad’s uneventful over is milked for six consecutive singles. Which gives me a chance to plug our weekly roundup of all our Proper Journalism. Sign up to The Recap here:

Related: The Recap: sign up for the best of the Guardian's sport coverage

10th over: England 52-1 (Bairstow 29, Root 10) Root gets two with a fine firm square cut off Raees, followed by a dabbed single. Then, Bairstow is DROPPED, pulling across the line high to Azhar Ali at midwicket, who can only parry a sharp chance. It wasn’t easy, but once again Pakistan rue what might have been. Seven from the over, and that ends a competitive and eventful first powerplay.

9th over: England 45-1 (Bairstow 26, Root 6) A very good over from Imad, who has half an lbw shout when he pins Root back with one that jags back into him but is too high. Only one run from it.

“Do you have yet any clear notion of what a par score should be for today’s wicket and weather conditions?” asks Geoff Wignall. “And is it the kind of wicket to have Plunkett licking his lips?” I’m sat in an office in London, so can only offer a man-in-the-pub analysis regarding the weather (though I’m not even in a pub), but I still think there’s something in this for the bowlers despite the fairly brisk scoring rate thus far. There’s been menace from quicks and slower bowlers.

8th over: England 44-1 (Bairstow 25, Root 6) Bairstow square cuts Raees for two – with these two out in the middle we could be on for a running-between-the-wickets masterclass here – but the left-armer continues to look more like a man in his 50th ODI than his first, though there’s nothing he can do about the artful flick through square leg that brings Root a boundary off the last ball of the over.

7th over: England 37-1 (Bairstow 22, Root 2) A change of pace, with the left-arm spinner Imad Wasim getting his first taste of action. No extravagant turn – that’s not his thing, at this stage of the innings – but it’s pretty accurate and it’s skidding through with alacrity. The one time he offers width, Root finds the gap deftly with a square cut for two. Not a single extra from the first seven overs. Wonder if England can get to 50 without extras getting off the mark.

“I note the email from Rich Naylor with interest,” OBO in-jokes Phil Sawyer. “Has Gary had a pay rise? Who’d have thought a weekly roundup of county cricket news would be so lucrative?”

6th over: England 34-1 (Bairstow 21, Root 0) Raees has Bairstow playing and missing outside off stump, but the batsman responds with a straight drive for four – he already has the highest score by an England No1 in the tournament. Another single brings Hales to the strike, and he perishes next ball, carving to Babar Azam at cover to give Raees his first ODI wicket.

Pakistan have their breakthrough. Hales opens his shoulders again to crack through the offside but only picks out the fielder at extra-cover, waiting for just that, and Babar Azam snaffles it up. You have to say he deserved that.

5th over: England 29-0 (Bairstow 16, Hales 13) Pakistan’s opening bowlers have been really good here, and it’s not reflected in the scoreboard. Junaid finds some bounce off the seam at Bairstow, who can’t score a run until the fifth ball of the over. But the one bad ball – wide and full outside off – is flayed to the boundary by a venomous cover drive from Hales.

4th over: England 24-0 (Bairstow 15, Hales 9) Raees continues, conceding a couple of singles and a two, but looking pretty accomplished, hitting a decent line and not offering much. And he’s so close to a debut wicket when he brings one back in on Hales and strikes him halfway up the pad. The lbw is given, Hales reviews– and is vindicated: it’s pitched outside leg. Fractionally. England escape again.

Dan Silk, meanwhile, shakes the Magic Opening Batsman Tree to great effect: “Re the OBO preamble. We actually were in a great way to getting one of these MOBTs - e.g. Stoneman, Borthwick, Jennings - combined with a Miraculous Ginger All-rounder Bush and Wonderful Skiddy Bowler Thicket. But Durham got *kicked in the nadgers for not having a sugardaddy on the ECB/not being Surrey/somewhat harshly relegated, fined and kicked while down. Sorry, does that sound bitter? Anyway, looking forward to an unpredictable game.”

3rd over: England 20-0 (Bairstow 14, Hales 6) Momentum change from England. Bairstow scampers a well-run two with a little short-arm jab on the legside before doing his confidence no end of good with two consecutive boundaries – a neat uppish flick through midwicket that beats the infield and goes for four, followed by a more forceful front-foot jab over square leg. Two more wide of mid-on suggest Bairstow’s swiftly got the measure of Junaid after that massive reprieve in the first over.

2nd over: England 7-0 (Bairstow 2, Hales 5) The new man Raees, anothe left-armer, starts at the River Taff end. Bairstow adds a single. Hales opens his shoulders and tries to crack a wider one through the covers but it’s well stopped at extra-cover and they can only get one for it. Already there’s a sign of variable bounce as Bairstow hacks and misses at one outside off-stump – dare I say it he’s looked a little nervous so far.

1st over: England 5-0 (Bairstow 1, Hales 4) Junaid Khan has first use of the new ball, from the Cathedral Road end, and uses it first to try out his yorker that Bairstow digs out confidently enough. Second up though we have a HUGE let-off for England. Bairstow is rapped on the top of the pad, provoking a massive appeal. It’s not given, but Junaid’s request for a review is granted. It’s come back very slightly and just clipping off stump, so it stays with umpire’s call. How pivotal could that be? Bairstow then gets off the mark with a single, and Hales gets off the mark with a forceful straight drive for four but it’s an excellent first over from the left-armer, marked by pace and a little bit of nip-back off the seam.

The anthems are done, the half-hearted fireworks are fizzing and Seven Nation Army is being pumped out of the PA. Can’t be doing with any of that really, but it does mean we’re ready to go. Pakistan are huddling.

“Is it now obligatory for the captain losing the toss to say he would have done what he was forced to do anyway?” wonders Bob Miller. “Like an Aesop’s Fable called the Especially Delicious Grapes that I’m Glad you Made me Eat.”

“Whilst a fool such as I wait for the real business of the Royal London semi-final, Notts vs East Saxons, there is the small matter of England vs Pakistan,” writes Lee Smith. “Normally the question would be, which Pakistan will turn up? Cornered tigers or lacklustre ne’er do wells. Yet this time I think it more appropriate to ask which England will show up. Despite the sequence of 300+ scores, however this is still England and their dark eyes can be 140 all out and without dignity. In fact you could say it is even more of a possibility with the not time to think all or nothing approach with the bat. So what will it be a changing of the guard or hard times? Will they be white ball world beaters or Sunday league impersonators blowing in the wind? Let us hope the weather is good, both sides get a fair crack and we have a great game of cricket.”

Was anyone at yesterday’s Taunton run-fest by the way? What was going on out there?

While we’re waiting, you might want to read yesterday’s Spin, in which Andy Bull revels in what Jos Buttler means for this swashbuckling England team:

Related: Jos Buttler encapsulates England’s braveheart approach to risk-taking | Andy Bull

Cardiff looks lovely, as ever, in the bright sunshine. Is there another city in the UK that comes alive for major sporting events in the way the Welsh capital does? Every main sporting venue is slap bang in the centre (though it’s a bit of a brisk walk out to the football ground admittedly), and the place buzzes. Doesn’t deserve empty seats today.

“Hi Tom,” chirps Rich Naylor, “I notice that among the ‘related content’ links on the Guardian’s Live OBO coverage webpage, is a link to the Guardian’s live OBO coverage webpage. If I click on that, do I get transported ‘Being John Malkovich’ style into your head and get to take over the commentary? I wouldn’t be very good. I’m not even watching an illegal live stream listening to it on radio 4 DAB.” We’re always looking at ways to expand and refine our journalism Rich, but the inside of my head is neither a lucrative nor rewarding place at which to alight.

England: Alex Hales, Jonny Bairstow, Joe Root, Eoin Morgan (capt), Ben Stokes, Jos Buttler (wk), Moeen Ali, Adil Rashid, Liam Plunkett, Mark Wood, Jake Ball.

Pakistan: Azhar Ali, Fakhar Zaman, Babar Azam, Mohammad Hafeez, Shoaib Malik, Sarfraz Ahmed (capt, wk), Imad Wasim, Rumman Raees, Shadab Khan, Hasan Ali, Junaid Khan.

Sarfraz Ahmed calls right and sticks England in, and confirms the absence of Amir with back problems. Morgan’s reasonably pleased with that, as he says England would have batted first had he got the coin toss right. He also confirms that Roy has been swapped for Bairstow.

Emails get off the mark with this one, swished through midwicket, by Housie House: “I am sitting in Saudi Arabia watching the build up on our local satellite tv station. Michael Vaughan is wearing a waistcoat with collars and the bottom button is done up. There is something so wrong with the whole thing. Waqar is looking very dapper in an orange tie and suit and Darren Sammy in a dark suit and tie. What is wrong with Vaughan? Our host is Jim Rosenthal, an odd choice I have to say.” None of that nonsense from the Sky team, who are in regulation-dull dark blue suits, every man jack of ‘em.

Some slightly alarming team news for Pakistan. This could be a big blow:

Early blow for Pakistan... https://t.co/J9fusxVp7t

Morning everyone. Such are the strange times we live in that you can sidle up to strangers, begin your small talk with the opening gambit of “England look the best side in a 50-over tournament” and no one looks at you funny before shuffling away with a look of dread and horror. Which makes a nice change. Yes, we’ve arrived at the semi-final stages swiftly enough – though am I the only one that feels this tournament has zoomed by a little too quickly? - with the hosts looking set fair. England, as expected, are favourites in the first one, against a Pakistan side who at times have been almost a caricature of their cricketing image – wretched in their first match, against India, inspired (particularly with the ball) against South Africa, and sporadically excellent against Sri Lanka while giving their fans plenty of scares as they scrambled over the line in pursuit of a modest target.

Neutrals will surely not begrudge Pakistan their place in today’s semi-final though, particularly those who like to see bowlers get their moments in the sun in this bat-heavy game. Indeed Pakistan in tournaments have always been about the bowling – from Wasim in ’92 to Shoaib Akhtar in ’99 to even just brief cameos such as Wahab Riaz’s inspired spell in a losing cause against Australia in that World Cup quarter-final two years ago. The erratic Wahab has been elbowed out of this current side’s attack, spearheaded now by the thrillingly zesty Hasan Ali, Junaid Khan and the young-old warhorse Mohammad Amir.

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Bangladesh v India: ICC Champions Trophy semi-final – live!

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47th over: Bangladesh 244-7 (Mashrafe 18, Taskin 4) Somehow, Mortaza digs out a yorker on middle stump which bounces over Dhoni for four runs. Go home Physics – you’re drunk.

Bit of a moan from me: think the music at the Champions Trophy has been appalling. Does not seem to be any instinctive feel for those in charge of the tunes, nor appreciation of the moments when you could really go big on a classic rather than a rehash of 2013’s summer anthems. Give the domestic Kiwi DJs the job and crank Tears for Fears up to 11.

46th over: Bangladesh 236-7 (Mashrafe 13, Taskin 1) The last five wickets have fallen for 70 runs – thanks Ian Bishop. A disappointed and slightly predictable collapse. Mushfiqur and Tamim were going great guns but it’d be wrong to lay the blame at the feet of the batsmen given how well India’s bowlers performed in that same period. Mashrafe swinging for the fences and, in doing so, finds four over the keeper with as a pull shot goes awry. Still – runs all the same.

When India were in trouble -Bangladesh 170-2 - they found a way, which is the stuff of champions: bowling spin quickly in pace and over-rate

45th over: Bangladesh 229-7 (Mashrafe 7) Hmmmm think Bumrah’s got away with a full toss above hip height there. Gets rid of Mahmudullah the ball after.

“Hello from Arundel,” writes Phil Makepeace, OPTA bod, Chess Grandmaster and general good egg. “Danny Briggs is teaching the South African tourists a thing or two. When I was in Philadelphia a few weeks ago, the main obstacle to explaining my cricket scoring profession was exactly what Richard Willmsen says at 12:23pm. My hosts understood the rules reasonably well after a few overs of YouTube footage but didn’t get the narrative. ‘If it takes two days for the other side to have a go, how do you know who’s winning?’”

Too good, Jasprit. The perfect yorker, as Mahmudullah advances down the pitch. Quick, moving in late. Boxes ticked, stumps akimbo.

44th over: Bangladesh 226-6 (Mahmudullah 19, Mashrafe 6) Kumar is mashed by Mortaza! Two deliveries – a full ball that nips in and nearly traps him LBW and then a brilliant yorker sandiwch a cracking THWACK over midwicket for four.

43rd over: Bangladesh 220-6 (Mahmudullah 18, Mashrafe 1) Two great bumpers from Bumrah. The first sends Mosaddek back to the changing room. The second puts Bangladesh captain Mashrafe Mortaza on his backside.

Some more advice, this time from Jeffery Earp in Italy: “Couple your fledgling interest in the game with exploration of a complementary scientific domain such as entomology, ornithology or meteorology. Astronomy’s good for day-night matches.”

That’s what extra pace gets you... Mosaddek can’t deal with a short ball into the body of batsman, who has enjoyed a lot of width so far. He can’t go through with the pull and ends up spooning a catch back to Bumrah.

42nd over: Bangladesh 218-5 (Mahmudullah 17, Mosaddek 15) First ball of the over is met by The Reverse Sweep of Mahmudullah, which is an Indiana Jones film I’d love to see. Four stars.

The last time Jadeja got 3 wickets in an ODI was 25 innings earlier in October 2014. Is he one of your best spinners?.

41st over: Bangladesh 212-5 (Mamudullah 12, Mosaddek 14) Fantastic shot through extra cover from Mosaddek. Stands up straight and throws his hands through a ball on the up, beating cover with ease but still managing to get it wide enough of mid off. Bumrah the bowler, who finishes by beating the outside edge.

ICYMI Eoin Morgan’s comments in yesterday’s post-match press conference have been making a stir:

Related: Eoin Morgan admits to England regrets after dismal Champions Trophy exit

While you’re here and thinking of England, here’s Barney Ronay’s take on yesterday’s defeat:

Related: England’s familiar exit leaves ECB’s dream scenario out of reach

40th over: Bangladesh 207-5 (Mahmudullah 11, Mosaddek 10) PENALTY RUNS KLAXON!!! Bangladesh pass 200 with a couple of leg byes but the big news is penalty runs after Dhoni throws at the stumps and hits. However, the ball bounced off his strewn left glove. Who wants to explain penalty runs to Richard Willmsen?

“Is it cowardly,” starts Ian Copestake, promisingly, “to feel an increasing anger on behalf of England after their exit? Pakistan were fantastic but when a hosting nation organises their own tournament giving their own team absolutely no advantage whatever (play the match on Pakistan’s home pitch) then it fits in with what we do to the football side in a major tournament year, namely just carry on as normal and let them (and us) suck it up when the inevitable happens.”

39th over: Bangladesh 197-5 (Mahmudullah 10, Mosaddek 9) DROP! And it’s a dolly. Ravi Ashwin, who moves as easily in the deep as a filing cabinet, shells a simply chance. He can’t quite make up the ground, diving the rest of the day, and only succeeds in palming the ball away for four.

38th over: Bangladesh 191-5 (Mahmudullah 4, Mosaddek 9) Good return frm Ashwin, who replaces Jadhav. He’s not been at his best this innings but concedes just three runs.

If u take the 'big 4' out of the Bangladesh line-up (and India almost have), the other 7 have scored 60 runs this tournament. Includes today

37th over: Bangladesh 188-5 (Mahmudullah 2, Mosaddek 8) Another good finish of a not great over for Bangladesh. Mosaddek the man again, backward point the region again. Plays it late, bit of flourish. Pleasing.

36th over: Bangladesh 183-5 (Mahmudullah 1, Mosaddek 4) Two wickets in two overs but a period ended by a handy four, wide of point, by the right-handed Mosaddek. The first shot in a while that hasn’t found a fielder.

A full toss and an advancing Mushfiqur works to midwicket where Virat Kohli is working. Outstanding awareness from Kohli, who took a few skips to his left to ensure he was right behind that catch.

35th over: Bangladesh 179-4 (Mushfiqur 61, Mahmadullah 1) Right off the toe of the bat for Shakib’s caught behind, which indicates just how quick Jadeja is bowling: the left-hander was almost through with the shot by the time it passed him. Mahmadullah the next man in.

It brought him four the over before, but this time Shakib’s attempt to cut finds the expecting gloves of MS Dhoni.

34th over: Bangladesh 177-3 (Mushfiqur 60, Shakib 15) Jadhav another rabid over burgler. Somehow sneaks out of a six-ball over in just over a minute. The rascal.

33rd over: Bangladesh 175-3 (Mushfiqur 59, Shakib 14) Shakib with the timing! Short from Jadeja – and still quick – allows the left-hander to beat backward point with force for his first boundary.

32nd over: Bangladesh 167-3 (Mushfiqur 57, Shakib 8) India starting to get the bit between their teeth. Jadeja stops four with a good run and dive at backward point. Then, Virat Kohli at cover nearly affects a run out with a smart pick-up and throw. Luckily, Mushfiqur is sent back immediately after setting off and makes his ground comfortably.

31st over: Bangladesh 164-3 (Mushfiqur 56, Shakib 6) Jadeja clearly going for quicker deliveries here. Sharper than your club’s opening bowler for most of the over which means he’s harder to get away square on the leg side. Three from the over.

30th over: Bangladesh 161-3 (Mushfiqur 55, Shakib 4) So 20-overs to go, Mushfiqur solid, Shakib starting and Kohli plotting.

Dust ourselves off and come back better

29th over: Bangladesh 156-3 (Mushfiqur 53, Shakib 1) Chance for India to squeeze the new batsman, even if he is the vastly experienced Shakib Al Hasan. Hit a brilliant hundred in pursuit against New Zealand. Off the mark with nip and tuck to square leg.

28th over: Bangladesh154-3 (Mushfiqur 52) At the start of this over, Mahendra Killedar emailed in looking for further advice: “To All Cricket Experts who contributed so far this morning... Please suggest a strategy to get remaining Bangladesh wickets!!!” Don’t worry, MK – Kedar’s got you covered.

Quality off-tweak from Kedar Jadhav and Tamim departs. A few dots got him tense and going hard at the ball. Jadhav uses his smarts to hold the final ball back. Tamim’s so early on the sweep, he might have had a chance if came back around and completed the full 360. An excellent innings comes to an end.

27th over: Bangladesh 152-2 (Iqbal 70, Mushfiqur 51) It comes off a thick outside edge, but otherwise it has been an excellent half-century from Mushfiqur. He’s played a fine hand in this partnership.

Who’s more nervous? Indian fans or Bangladeshi fans?

Anxiety increases when you’re in positions you didn’t think you’d be in.

26th over: Bangladesh 148-2 (Tamim 69, Mushfiqur 49) Still no boundary but still runs taken. We’ve had 25 runs ran in the last five overs.

Richard Willmsen, who got this thread started, says thanks to you all. He adds:“I’m finding Google Translate quite helpful for some of the advice but in terms of the action, would it be possible to write every third or fourth line ‘SO NOW BANGLADESH/INDIA ARE WINNING’?” Right now, Bangladesh are winning. But that could change in the very next over, or even after 26 overs of the India innings, if they are, say, 200 for one, thus rubbishing Bangladesh’s progress at this point. Yeah, I know.

25th over: Bangladesh 142-2 (Tamim 66, Mushfiqur 46) The average first innings score here is 277, which Bangladesh should beat with ease.

Peter Salmon emails in with some proper words: “Call me old fashioned, but nothing gets a newcomer more excited about the game than a couple of hours spent demonstrating the correct way to play a forward defensive. Soft bottom hand, high elbow, foot to the pitch of a ball placed about a metre in front of them, no following through. Repeat. That’s how you get the kids excited about cricket.”

24th over: Bangladesh 137-2 (Tamim 65, Mushfiqur 42) Another good no-boundary over. Something of each ball – seven again from it.

Here's a sight you thought you'd never see!

More to follow...#BANvIND#CT17pic.twitter.com/b5aQ3xsRfU

23rd over: Bangladesh 130-2 (Tamim 63, Mushfiqur 36) This over is arguably just as good. Jadeja can be hard to score off yet Tamim and Mushfiqur manage seven without needing to reach the ropes.

“Seems like an appropriate time to ask for a shoutout for our 4th team captain, Aaron Saunders,” writes Matthew Bull. “Doesn’t know the fielding position but instead vaguely points to an area and says ‘go there please’.” At least he’s polite.

22nd over: Bangladesh 123-2 (Tamim 62, Mushfiqur 31) Absolutely outstanding from Tamim. Three smart shots – laced through point, over the top of cover, nudge off the pads – bring consecutive boundaries at the end of the over. That’s one way of slowing Ashwin down...

pic.twitter.com/LhXOjdWK7J

21st over: Bangladesh 110-2 (Tamim 50, Mushfiqur 30) A break in the over to review a stumping chance. Sharp work from Dhoni and good turn from Jadeja, but Mushfiqur has enough of his size 6 behind the line. He started the over with a tidy reverse for four. They’re beginning to enjoy this, are Mush and Tam.

“Get the laid back friend to explain the basics, not the enthusiastic friend.” Another good point – this one from Alice Arcury-Quandt. There’s nothing worse than being informed about the game by someone who’s just too into it...

20th over: Bangladesh 105-2 (Tamim 50, Mushfiqur 25) Trial by spin as Ravi Ashwin speeds through an over for just one run. Smart, to be fair. Rush through a few and, suddenly, you’ve burned through overs for not very many.

Chris Drew: “Best piece of advice for cricket neophytes - don’t forget the corkscrew.”

19th over: Bangladesh 104-2 (Tamim 50, Mushfiqur 24) New one for me: Ravi Jadeja’s introduction features entrance music: “Ooooo Ravi Jadeja” sing the India fans as the White Stripes blare through the PA system. The final delivery nearly brings a wicket... Tamim reverse sweeps loosely over third man and gets the four to take him to his half-century from 62 balls.

“I have a comedy tea towel with all the positions illustrated literally,” writes Ian Copestake. “Deep mid on is in a hole with only his hand showing above ground, while short extra cover is a small man carrying three umbrellas, and so on. I now feel I know the positions but when I play I do get a lot of abuse for carrying umbrellas onto the pitch.”

18th over: Bangladesh 96-2 (Tamim 43, Mushfiqur 23) Good work from these two: six runs off the over – no boundary – and their partnership moves to 30. They’ve been going at over five a over.

Good morning to Matt Ayre: “Surely part of the joy of understanding cricket is being able to get into an ontological argument about whether someone’s a backward point or a deep gully?” Or sixth slip.

17th over: Bangladesh 90-2 (Tamim 41, Mushfiqur 19) If Bangladesh fans had a Tamim chant to the tune of Jolene, they’d belting it out right about now. Pandya tries to go for his legs to cramp him for room. No good – Tamim uses his newly freed wrists to clatter the ball over midwicket for the first six of the match!

16th over: Bangladesh 80-2 (Tamim 33, Mushfiqur 17) Tamim, arms loose, mind at ease, spots a flatter delivery from Ashwin and uses his bat as a pinball bumper to deflect it fine for four to third man.

“Speak in between deliveries,” yes, excellent point, Simon Towers. “Newcomers can be spotted easily as their stories will be interrupted by ‘shottttt!’, or similar. Seasoned cricketers will pause without even thinking about it.

15th over: Bangladesh 71-2 (Tamim 26, Mushfiqur 15) Better from Pandya. Something of his front foot behind the line and just four conceded. Tries to catch Tamim charging but gives away a wide. Nothing wrong with that.

Good morning to Kat Petersen, once a cricket newbie – weren’t we all – but now she sees: “The first thing I needed explaining to me was that just because everyone wears white it doesn’t mean they are all on the same team.”

14th over: Bangladesh 67-2 (Tamim 24, Mushfiqur 14) Comfortable four runs from that over. Ashwin struggling not to push deliveries to Tamim down the leg side. Hasn’t quite hit his straps yet.

don't worry about understanding all of it. I've met fans who have been fans for ages who still don't know all the field positions.

13th over: Bangladesh 64-2 (Tamim 22, Mushfiqur 12) NO BALLS! WE’VE GOT NO BALLS! AND WE’VE GOT A WICKET OFF ONE OF THOSE NO BALLS!!! Oh Hardik Pandya, what on earth have you done? His first no ball does limited damage as the free hit is caught at deep point, allowing a couple of runs. However the second means that Tamim survives after playing onto his own stumps. Unbelievable scenes. This time the free hit, which eventually comes after a wide full toss, is clouted down the ground for four. Is that the reprieve that’ll free Tamim up?

12th over: Bangladesh 49-2 (Tamim 12, Mushfiqur 12) Ravi Ashwin on to tie some knots. Around the wicket to the leftie – Tamim guides a single to third man – and over to the right-handed Mushfiqur. No width to speak of.

Phil Russell’s advice is thus: “Don’t stand in front of the sightscreen because you’ll distract the batsman. Also all the players will then shout at you to move and this will make you cross because you didn’t know it was a problem and you don’t even like cricket anyway and you only came to this stupid game because your stupid partner plays it and then you will drive off leaving your now ex-partner stranded.” I once got shouted at by Graeme Smith for walking in front of a sightscreen during a four-day match at the Oval wearing a hoodie that could be described as “Dukes red”. He retired soon after that and I’ve still got the hoodie. So... yeah. Take that, Graeme.

11th over: Bangladesh 47-2 (Tamim 11, Mushfiqur 12) Kumar continues post-Power Play and concedes just one.

“Don’t try to understand it all at once,” starts Richard O’Hagan. I’m inclined to agree. “There are people who have followed the game for years who don’t understand it all. This is particularly good advice for Americans, who are quite happy to follow their own brand of football, a sport with so many rules that the rule book is thicker than a 1980s telephone directory. Tell them that you’ll explain the back foot no ball rule if they can tell you when a player is and isn’t on the line of scrimmage.” Ah, American Football, with your 50 players-a-side and 14 match officials...

10th over: Bangladesh 46-2 (Tamim 10, Mushfiqur 12) Finally, Tamim’s into double figures. Solid first 10 from Bangladesh, albeit with one more wicket lose than they’d have liked.

“First piece of advice to a newcomer is a dual one,” writes Bob Miller. “Why the bowlers keep rubbing the ball on their trousers (ED: the like the feel) coupled with why this means that the batters don’t just try and smash every ball out of the ground (ED: They think it’s icky). Or alternatively why everywhere we go, the people want to know, who we are etc etc…”

9th over: Bangladesh 45-2 (Tamim 9, Mishfiqur 12) Three fours off the boundary, each improving in quality, all three greeted with some Katy Perry. Mushfiqur’s first is, objectively, awful: charging and nearly ruining his own leg stump via an under edge. The next, an upright extra cover drive. The third guided classily between point and cover. Meanwhile, Tamim is stuck...

8th over: Bangladesh 32-2 (Tamim 8, Mushfiqur 0) Tamim breaks the sequence of dot balls with a very English dab to third man for a single.

7th over: Bangladesh 31-2 (Tamim 7, Sabbir 19) A wicket maiden. An over of calm puncutred by the carnage of Sabbir’s wicket. Richard Willmsen joins us for what I gather is his first cricket match. Kudos to a Bangladeshi shopkeeper in Rome for piquing his interest Read more about his journey here. Welcome to our delightful sport, Richard.

Let’s open this to the floor: if you could give a piece of advice to someone new to the game of cricket, what would it be? Mine for your early travails: never ask “who is winning?” Because no one ever knows, regardless of what Cricviz, WASP or those bits of mouldy seaweed say.

Thirteen (13!) dot balls in a row and, twitchy, Rahman throws too much too early at a wider slower delivery, giving Ravi Jadeja at backward point a simple catch.

5th over: Bangladesh 31-1 (Tamim 7, Sabbir 19)“India vs Pakistan final sounds exciting,” writes Mahendar Killedar. “But India has to get past Bangladesh first.” Absolutely. It’s why we’re here. “What odds did Pakistan beat before beating England?And how many of us anticipated Bangladesh to reach thus far at the beginning of Championship Trophy? So don’t under estimate them. Stay sober.” Sober as a cloud, Mahendar – stated in my opening entry that this would be tough for India. Proving to be the case after that first breakthrough. Tamim skews an outside edge beyond the dive of slip for four more. Ball coming very nicely onto the bat

4th over: Bangladesh 26-1 (Tamim 6, Sabbir 19) Sabbir again. Get around this kid! Piercing boy band eyes yet wields the axe like a rock god. Skip and step to Bumrah gets another four over the top of the covers.

3rd over: Bangladesh 21-1 (Tamim 6, Sabbir 15) Bangladesh’s issue in the group stages was that, Tamim aside, their top order was paper-thin. Sabbir’s positive approach – he charges Kumar and clouts him over extra cover, then threads a glorious orthodox punch squarer – looks as good a tactic as any. Let Tamim get on with his business at the other end and don’t get him worrying about shaking hands with a new batsman every five overs...

2nd over: Bangladesh 11-1 (Tamim 6, Sabbir 5) Jasprit Bumrah, the one-finned dolphin swimming in circles in open water, takes the fresh ball from the other end. Quicker off the pitch from Kumar, Tamim tickles around the corner, beating fine leg for four. Sabbir Raham takes advantage of that extra nip too, thumping his first ball through cover point for four. Bumrah gives them both something to think about before the over’s out: beating Sabbir over middle stump then Tamim on the outside edge.

1st over: Bangladesh 1-1 (Tamim 1) Hasn’t quite happened for Soumya Sarkar this tournament (he’s not alone in this Bangladesh side, mind). While Tamim knocks to square leg for one, Soumya snatches at his second ball. No real need given conditions.

Having left his first ball, which just passed his off stump, a wider delivery is dragged on by the left-handed Soumya. Graeme Smith on commentary says it could be nerves. Whatever the reasoning behind the shot, it was poor.

The covers are off and, more importantly, we have cricketers. More than 22 of them, in fact, as both squads make their way out to the pitch for the national anthems. Pleasing amount of tabla in Bangladesh’s. Fresh pitch for today’s match, by the way. India huddle up as Yuvraj bops to Seven Nation Army. Can’t quite make out the message coming from his eyes, but presumably it’s “send Bangladesh home”. Groovy Kumar to get us underway with the ball.

Me and my big mouth. Further delays to play, though not for long:

Covers off. Not raining at the moment. Game to get underway at 10.40am local time. In 11 minutes. #INDvBAN#CT17

Yuvraj Singh, the only man the game has seen with a better back-lift than Brian Charles Lara, brings up 300 ODI matches today. We’ve seen the clip of him panging Broad for six of the best. We get it – wrist for days, timing for weeks, class for years.

Instead, here he is getting down at his own wedding with a catastrophically underdressed Virat Kohli.

Virat Kohli has won the toss and has decided that India will chase whatever Bangladesh can muster. Both sides are unchanged. Virat Kohli’s cool, Mashrafe Mortaza’s champing. We’re starting on time (10:30 BST), too. Rob Key reckons 320 is needed up first...

BANGLADESH: Tamim Iqbal, Soumya Sarkar, Sabbir Rahman, Mushfiqur Rahim†, Shakib Al Hasan, Mahmudullah, Mosaddek Hossain, Mashrafe Mortaza*, Rubel Hossain, Taskin Ahmed, Mustafizur Rahman

*Does the Hasan Ali thump-the-earth-rip-the-shirt-open celebration*

Good news.

Covers coming off and toss is about to happen #BANvINDpic.twitter.com/NxppVntq9F

Facasinating nugget, this: Since the 2015 World Cup, Bangladesh have a better ODI record against the top-eight sides than India. Both have 11 wins, but Bangladesh have only lost 10 compared to India’s 13.

Good weather first. Replying from New Delhi. Hope Bangladesh don't shock us today. 2 Billion people want #IndvsPak on Sunday:p

Vish here, live and direct, for all your Thursday over-by-over needs. One of those Thursdays where it feels like a weekend, though I imagine a lot of you reading this from the UK of an English persuasion might be sullen-faced in the baking sun.

To think, just a year ago some of us were wondering how a financial juggernaut could be stopped by a country who, up to that point, had only inconvenienced our holiday plans with an ill-timed volcanic eruption. But, just as we have learned to accept out new Icelandic overlords – Góðan daginn, leiðtogar! – we now also bow to Pakistan. With relish.

Vish will be here shortly. In the meantime, here is Ali Martin’s pre-match despatch from Edgbaston. Skippers Virat Kohli and Mashrafe Mortaza were both impressive – as was Ali, let’s be fair – at the press conferences:

Virat Kohli spoke with glowing respect about India’s opponents on Thursday, stating there can be no guarantees against Bangladesh these days given their rise to No6 in the one-day world rankings and their toppling of New Zealand last week.

Kohli’s defending champions are overwhelming favourites on a fresh pitch at Edgbaston but this has been a tournament of upsets so far, none more so than when Mashrafe Mortaza’s side chased down 266 at Sophia Gardens last Friday, which ultimately booked their semi-final place.

Related: India’s Virat Kohli will take nothing for granted against Bangladesh

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Pakistan v India: ICC Champions Trophy 2017 final – live!

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48th over: Pakistan 318-4 (Mohammad Hafeez 46, Imad Wasim 20) Kumar keeps the batsmen down to singles, but the 50 partnership comes up off only 31 balls. Imad tries a reverse hook, and gets a leg-bye off the elbow: painful, but effective. Only five off the over, as Kumar remains a beacon of excellence.

47th over: Pakistan 313-4 (Mohammad Hafeez 44, Imad Wasim 18) Bumrah starts his over well, dealing in singles, but as so often today, Pakistan adapt and find the rope: Imad murders a perfectly decent slower ball through mid-off. He has 18 off 11.

ATB, representing Australia, picks up on our conversation from the 42nd over. “‘We need to know how many cans of lager he had on the flight over.’ Not as many as the Indian bowlers. :-)”

46th over: Pakistan 304-4 (Mohammad Hafeez 41, Imad Wasim 12) Hafeez puts a faint blot on his copybook by turning a three into a two after slapping Kumar to the cover boundary. But this is spectacular batting. And Rob Smyth has a good spot for you. “Only twice has a team chased over 300 to win an ODI final, but both times it was India: Lord’s 2002 and Dhaka 1998, the latter against Pakistan.”

Hafeez does it the stylish way with another six, pulled over square leg, Ponting-style. And it was a slower ball from Kumar. Take that!

45th over: Pakistan 294-4 (Mohammad Hafeez 32, Imad Wasim 11) Just when Jadhav’s round arm threatens to take the bounce and the fun out of the equation, Hafeez gets to the pitch and lofts him for six. And then Imad follows suit, with more of a low mow, but it’s six more. Hafeez has 32 off only 20 balls, and Pakistan are back in charge.

44th over: Pakistan 278-4 (Mohammad Hafeez 24, Imad Wasim 3) Back comes Bumrah, and Hafeez tucks him for a silky four. Each time there has been a setback, the next man has stepped up: textbook team sport from Pakistan. And you can’t always say that.

Over on Twitter, ATB is back for more. “Just looked at the full scorecard. Umpire DC Boon. Our own David Boon an umpire! When did that happen?” Referee, technically, but point taken. We need to know how many cans of lager he had on the flight over.

43rd over: Pakistan 270-4 (Mohammad Hafeez 18, Imad Wasim 1) Sometimes a bit of round-arm filth is just what you need. Although, to be fair, Jadhav does bowl properly some of the time, and that over goes for only four.

Kohli goes back to Jadhav and a ploy that looked desperate turns out to be inspired, as Babar lofts him to long-off. Pakistan are 267-4 and India are hanging in there.

42nd over: Pakistan 266-3 (Babar Azam 46, Mohammad Hafeez 15) Kumar finally takes some punishment as Hafeez pulls for four. The commentators reckon Sarfraz has sent him with a licence to hit.

An email arrives from Romeo. “Bhuvi [Kumar] is probably my favourite Indian cricketer, but Karachista/Selima [34th over] should know I am both neutral and enjoying a great game – but also supporting Pakistan.” It’s complicated.

41st over: Pakistan 257-3 (Babar Azam 44, Mohammad Hafeez 9) The Jadhav experiment is cut short as Jadeja returns. Hafeez belts him for a straight four off his very first ball, an follows up with a delicate sweep for four more. The slow bowlers’ bill now stands at 144 off 19 overs. If Pakistan win, that will be the reason why.

40th over: Pakistan 247-3 (Babar Azam 42, Mohammad Hafeez 0) An exemplary over from Kumar, who now has 1-11 off six.

A tweet lands from Ebly Pamplemousse. “You’re forgetting India’s unerring ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. As such, the match can go either way.” Right now, they are snatching respectability from the jaws of humiliation.

Kumar ties Shoaib down, so he tries to break free with a tennis smash, which just goes up in the air. Jadhav takes a redemptive catch and Pakistan are 247-3.

39th over: Pakistan 246-2 (Babar Azam 42, Shoaib Malik 12) Kohli, in a tight corner, turns to Kedar Jadhav and his amateurish round-arm – allegedly off-breaks, but surely not spinning. Shoaib marks the occasion by removing his helmet. Jadhav concedes a row of singles, which is fine, and two wides, which is mildly unforgivable.

38th over: Pakistan 239-2 (Babar Azam 39, Shoaib Malik 10) Babar slaps a four through backward point, and then surpasses himself with a flick off the hip for four more. “Shot of the day so far,” says Shane Warne, which is high praise. Babar, who inched to 11 off his first 23 balls, has 28 off 19 since the fall of Fakhar’s wicket. This may be the morning of Sarfraz Ahmed’s dreams.

Ian Copestake is back at us. “Ashwin has clearly not heeded the lesson to be learned from a certain pool scene in Caddyshack, namely that no good will ever come of floaters.”

37th over: Pakistan 227-2 (Babar Azam 28, Shoaib Malik 10) Kohli brings back Jadeja, and Shoaib Malik comes to the party with a six, launched over long-off. India’s spinners, both fine bowlers, have gone for 127 off 17 overs.

36th over: Pakistan 216-2 (Babar Azam 25, Shoaib Malik 2) Tidy again from Pandya, but then Babar plays a front-foot pull for four, which draws applause from Kohli. Good shot, sporting response. Babar is stepping up here, just as Fakhar did.

A tweet arrives from Benjamin Parker. “With Fakhar gone, I reckon Pakistan are just as likely to be 280 all out as reaching 350.”

35th over: Pakistan 209-2 (Babar Azam 18, Shoaib Malik 2) Cometh the hour, cometh the Babar: an elegant tuck off Bumrah, and that’s Babar’s first four, off his 27th ball. At the other end Pandya has 1-34 off eight overs, excellent going in the circumstances.

34th over: Pakistan 202-2 (Babar Azam 12, Shoaib Malik 1) So Pandya has a wicket, the first by an Indian bowler today. A fine over, and a sudden problem for Pakistan: Babar has been tentative, and Shoaib is rusty. Sky’s score predictor is saying 324, which seems too high to me.

Meanwhile, Karachista (between the 31st and 32nd overs) has decided to drop her alias. “You just made my day my mentioning me on #OBO,” she tweets, “and my real name is Salima.” So that may have made her day all over again.

Fakhar finally takes one risk too many, slogging Pandya over point, where Jadeja takes a fine catch running back. That should be the turning-point Kohli was praying for. Pakistan are 200-2.

33rd over: Pakistan 200-1 (Fakhar Zaman 114, Babar Azam 11) Ashwin continues – is this blind faith from Kohli? It feels like it as Fakhar clears his front leg out of the way and swings a slog-sweep for six. That’s the 200 up, and the fourth fifty took only 41 balls. Ashwin takes his cap with 0-70 off his ten overs. Spell-check wanted to call him Ashen just then, which is spot on.

32nd over: Pakistan 191-1 (Fakhar Zaman 106, Babar Azam 10) Pakistan have been winning matches with their mid-innings bowling. Here they are threatening to win one with their mid-innings batting. The curious thing is that India’s seamers have bowled well, with plenty of dots. Pandya keeps on asking the right questions, and Fakhar sometimes gives the wrong answer – charging down the track just now and mis-hitting to midwicket, but not in the air so he gets away with it. His edges tend to be bottom or inside edges, and that has saved his skin a few times.

An email from Karachista, which may not be their real name. “Peter Salmon [28th over] does realise he’s talking about Pakistan, right? As unpredictable as a British summer. Anything could happen.” For what it’s worth, the sun is looking very settled in the sky.

31st over: Pakistan 186-1 (Fakhar Zaman 103, Babar Azam 8) After running out his mate, Fakhar had to make amends – and he already has, by accelerating at just the moment when he might have gone into his shell. He made a nervous start, but the nineties were absolutely nerveless. That’s drinks, with Pakistan rampant. Kohli now has one job: to get Fahkar out.

A sweep off Ashwin, and that is a fabulous hundred on the biggest stage, off only 92 balls. What a Zaman.

30th over: Pakistan 179-1 (Fakhar Zaman 96, Babar Azam 8) Panda hits the same and beats Babar, who has been batting like it’s 1983. The dots are suddenly piling up. Will Fakhar let it get to him? I rather doubt it. He nicks the strike, cannily, with a leg-bye. If you double the 30-over score, you get carnage.

29th over: Pakistan 176-1 (Fakhar Zaman 95, Babar Azam 7) Kohli keeps Ashwin on, which is quite a show of faith, and it’s repaid as Ashwin finally keeps it tight. Even so, the two spinners have gone for exactly 100 off their 14 overs. That would not have happened if England had beaten Pakistan on Wednesday.

28th over: Pakistan 175-1 (Fakhar Zaman 94, Babar Azam 7) This time Fakhar gets lucky, feathering a hook off Panda that goes just over Dhoni’s outstretched glove for four. Fakhar’s last 39 runs have come off 20 balls, which is a match-winning rate. And still the Grauniad’s spell-check wants to call him Faker.

“Right,” says Peter Salmon. “I’m calling it. There is no way Pakistan can lose from here. No way at all.” Brave, minister, very brave.

27th over: Pakistan 167-1 (Fakhar Zaman 89, Babar Azam 4) Fakhar is on fire. He lifts Ashwin for six over long-on, then eases a drive for three through the covers, and finishes off with a late cut for four more. This partnership is worth 39 already and Babar has four of them. Poor old Ashwin may have to be taken out of the attack: he has 0-53 off seven overs.

A tweet arrives from ATB down under. “Enjoying the live coverage, thanks. Game isn’t on TV here in Australia.” That seems extraordinary. The ICC puts the TV audience today at 366 million.

26th over: Pakistan 150-1 (Fakhar Zaman 76, Babar Azam 2) Fakhar has made up his mind: he’s going to keep on hitting. He lofts Jadeja for a straight six, then flays him for a square four and rounds off the over by melding those two strokes, with a dancing lofted cover-drive for four more. That’s the 150 up. Great stuff.

25th over: Pakistan 134-1 (Fakhar Zaman 61, Babar Azam 1) Fakhar gets the scoreboard ticking again. He has to decide whether to change his game here and hold the show together, as Azhar would have done. The perfect dilemma for Fathers’ Day.

“Morning,” says Damian Clarke. picking up on Simon Bogli’s line from the 20th over. “...‘a father’s classical qualities, ie. steadiness, reliability, trustworthiness...’ Thanks for that. Funniest quote I’ll read today, and I’m speaking as a father.”

24th over: Pakistan 129-1 (Fakhar Zaman 57, Babar Azam 0) Jadeja, seizing his chance like Scrooge on Christmas Day, rattles off some miserly dots. Fakhar manages a single off the last ball. He owes his team big-time now.

23rd over: Pakistan 128-1 (Fakhar Zaman 56, Babar Azam 0) Ashwin returns, persists with that leg-stump line, and finds no joy – until Pakistan opt for a spot of hara kiri. Game on.

Well, that was coming. Azhar clips to leg and sets off, Fakhar doesn’t and when Azhar turns back, he has no chance. To add insult to self-harm, there was a run there. Pakistan are 128-1.

22nd over: Pakistan 125-0 (Azhar Ali 58, Fakhar Zaman 54) Jadeja, who twice gave Fakhar too much width in his last over, now does the same for Azhar, who helps himself to a four and a two. Kohli must be thinking about losing his cool.

And here comes Ian Copestake. “I was worried this would not be much of a match-up, given Pakistan only physically turned up in the first meeting. But this is tasty.”

21st over: Pakistan 118-0 (Azhar Ali 52, Fakhar Zaman 53) Pandya, who’s been testing, beats Azhar as he swats at a bouncer. Only four off the over, but this is a handosme platform.

20th over: Pakistan 114-0 (Azhar Ali 50, Fakhar Zaman 51) Fakhar, who’s been getting restless, finds relief by cutting Jadeja for four, to the strangely vacant cover-sweeper zone. Azhar hurdles to leg and reaches a fine fifty. Fakhar then trumps him with another cut for four. That’s his third successive fifty, just when Pakistan needed it.

An email from Simon Bogli. “It’s ironic that the game is on Father’s Day as a father’s classical qualities, ie. steadiness, reliability, trustworthiness, are entirely lacking in Pakistan’s modern cricket, both on and off the field.” A grain of truth there, but also a whiff of one of a Victorian father’s qualities: a tendency to be a little harsh.

19th over: Pakistan 103-0 (Azhar Ali 48, Fakhar Zaman 42) Pandya bowls a length ball outside off – once a stock ball, now a wily variation – and Fakhar is so surprised that he misses it by a full bat’s width. Then he takes a single, and India finally hit the stumps, with a dead-eye throw from Jadeja, but this time Fakhar is well in. Sod’s law is bearing down on India today.

18th over: Pakistan 100-0 (Azhar Ali 46, Fakhar Zaman 41) Jadeja continues, Azhar takes an easy single into the covers, and that’s Pakistan’s highest opening stand against India in an ICC tournament. Fakhar celebrates by using his feet and slog-chipping a four to wide mid-on. That’s the hundred up, but India are by no means out of this: they’ve bowled well apart from the wides, and one wicket may well bring two.

17th over: Pakistan 93-0 (Azhar Ali 44, Fakhar Zaman 36) Azhar, tied down by Pandya, tries to hit him for six and just skies it, safely, over the covers. “Come off the sticker!” scoffs Shane Warne. And that’s drinks. The morning belongs to these two opening batsmen, who have ridden their luck, run like idiots, and reeled off some glorious shots.

“Evening Tim,” says our old friend Phil Withall. “There seems to be a reserved and clinical mindset from Pakistan today. Fully focused and very content to build. It’s a little like Smyth building someone up before crushing them with a remorseless retort. I fancy them to get 350 plus.” That would be routine for the Oval, but still immense in a final. Not so sure about the clinical bit: have you seen the running?

16th over: Pakistan 90-0 (Azhar Ali 42, Fakhar Zaman 35) Yet another bowling change as Ravindra Jadeja replaces Ashwin. The batsmen do a little light milking. Still no sign of turn, which will bother India more than Pakistan, with their non-spinning spinners.

14th over: Pakistan 86-0 (Azhar Ali 40, Fakhar Zaman 33) Hardik Pandya comes on and instantly appeals for LBW against Azhar. It’s the back leg, and thus a bit high. Hawkeye suggests it would have hit, but only the bail, so a review wouldn’t have worked. Faker hooks, handsomely, and only gets a single. He needs to keep calm and carry on here, not get frustrated. Agar shows the way by waiting for some width and upper-cutting for four.

The White Stripes’ Seven Nation Army rings out. It seems to be becoming the national anthem of the whole world.

14th over: Pakistan 78-0 (Azhar Ali 35, Fakhar Zaman 31) A better over from Ashwin brings a false stroke from Fakhar, who tries a reverse sweep for no reason at all and doesn’t get hold of it.

13th over: Pakistan 74-0 (Azhar Ali 33, Fakhar Zaman 29) Pakistan go back to getting them in singles, rather shakily, and Bumrah bowls yet another wide. One team is giving away extras, the other is offering run-out chances. We’ve all played in games like this.

12th over: Pakistan 69-0 (Azhar Ali 31, Fakhar Zaman 27) Ashwin continues. He has a slip, which Ricky Ponting, on commentary, feels is a waste as Ashwin is pushing it through on leg stump, like the ghost of Eddie Hemmings. It works for a bit but then Fakhar dances down the track and clips him for a nonchalant four to midwicket. A streaky start is turning into a formidable one.

11th over: Pakistan 63-0 (Azhar Ali 30, Fakhar Zaman 22) Kohli brings back Bumrah, so the double entendre is on again. But the most likely source of a wicket may be a run-out, as Azhar takes an unwise single to Kohli, who misses the stumps. Fakhar plays a straight push for four, which shows (a) he’s got his eye in at last and (b) there are bags of runs in this pitch. There’s then an lbw appeal against Azhar, but it’s too high to interest Richard Kettleborough, the only Englishman out there today.

10th over: Pakistan 56-0 (Azhar Ali 29, Fakhar Zaman 16) Ashwin continues, tries a quicker one, and gets swept for four by Azhar. First blood to Pakistan, which is just what the neutral ordered.

An email arrived about half an hour ago from Scott Thomas. “The glamour of elite sport writ large for all to see, there.” I wondered what he was referring to. “Just thought it was funny that the stage etc. for the presentation later on was out by the bins, towed by a hire van with some official-looking sign hastily stuck to it.”

9th over: Pakistan 48-0 (Azhar Ali 23, Fakhar Zaman 14) Kumar restores order again, mixing it up with bouncers and slower balls to Fakhar. Another maiden: he has gone for only 10 off his five overs. But Pakistan can afford it.

8th over: Pakistan 48-0 (Azhar Ali 23, Fakhar Zaman 14) Searching for a wicket, Kohli goes slow, in the normally reassuring shape of Ravi Ashwin. This reduces the chances of Fakhar getting out to Bumrah, which would have been a thrill for lovers of schoolboy humour. Ashwin bowls two wides, the fifth and sixth of the day already, and then concedes the first six. Well played Azhar.

Kohli turns to spin and Azhar launches Ashwin over mid-off – not just the first six of the day, but the first big shot to go anywhere straight. Advantage Pakistan.

7th over: Pakistan 38-0 (Azhar Ali 16, Fakhar Zaman 13) Kumar restores order, by the simple method of bowling straight and tucking Fakhar up. But, so far, it’s been Pakistan’s morning, if only because they’ve got away with mayhem.

6th over: Pakistan 36-0 (Azhar Ali 15, Fakhar Zaman 12) Azhar plays an upper cut off Bumrah, the very model of a calculated risk, and gets four. Then he tries a slog, as bad as Fakhar’s in the last over, and clean misses. But he recovers with a cultured nudge through square leg. In setting out their stall, Pakistan are trying to show us all their wares in one go: the good, the bad and the ugly.

5th over: Pakistan 27-0 (Azhar Ali 7, Fakhar Zaman 12) Fakhar continues to live dangerously, hooking too late at Kumar’s bouncer and taking it on the side of the helmet. He seems none the worse for it, and even gets four leg byes. Then he gives Kumar the charge and plays a blind slog. It’s a stroke from club cricket, but it brings four through square leg. Has the tide turned already?

4th over: Pakistan 19-0 (Azhar Ali 7, Fakhar Zaman 8) Well, well. Fakhar falls for the one slanted across him, but escapes because Bumrah overstepped. Facing the free hit, he manages to nutmeg himself. He then gets his first boundary – off the inside edge, like his first run. Finally, there’s a proper attacking shot, as Azhar latches on to a short one and pulls it for four. A big over, 12 from it.

An email comes in from Nabeel Younas. “Feeling a little apprehensive already with Pakistan batting first.” Don’t blame you. “They usually go into their shell, unable to know a decent first score. Minimum of 300 needed for even a chance, but they need to stay positive throughout the innings which they just struggle to do, especially through a lack of regular singles.” That hasn’t been the problem so far. But still, no wickets yet.

Fakhar was on his way, nicking Bumrah... but it was a no-ball. Pakistan are 9-0 when they should be 8-1.

3rd over: Pakistan 7-0 (Azhar Ali 3, Fakhar Zaman 3) Azhar edges Kumar, but safely, through the vacant gully. Kohli should surely have four catchers, not two. Fakhar takes a quick single and would be gone if the cover fielder had hit from eight yards. Jittery stuff from Pakistan, but they survive.

2nd over: Pakistan 3-0 (Azhar Ali 1, Fakhar Zaman 1) Jasprit Bumrah opens from the Vauxhall end, all arms and angles. He starts with a full toss and appeals for lbw against Fakhar, which is optimistic. The scoring is opened by a wide, and the first run from the bat is an inside edge. Pakistan have begun so timidly, they’ll probably end up winning. But when Azhar gets a run, it’s a solid one, pushed into the on side.

1st over: Pakistan 0-0 (Azhar Ali 0, Fakhar Zaman 0) The first ball is bowled by Bhuvneshwar Kumar, and it’s very English – a classic outswinger, too wide to bother Azhar Ali. Martin Bicknell would have begun like that. Kumar follows up with a couple angling in, which Azhar blocks. When he tries a drive or two, he finds the men in the ring. A maiden!

If you’d like to see highlights of India’s last game, the semi-final against Bangladesh, you’ve come to the right place.

For the victims of all the terrible events in cricket nations over the past few weeks, from the floods in Sri Lanka to the fire in the Grenfell Tower in London. The silence is immaculately observed, and followed by dignified applause.

Not up to speed on the history of this fixture? Dileep Premachandran has a scene-setter that is more like a highlights reel.

Not up to speed on the way the 2017 Champions Trophy has gone? Have a look at this.

Related: ICC Champions Trophy 2017: the story of the tournament in pictures

Viral Kohli wins the toss and gets the first big cheer of the day. He opts to bowl, not (he says) because the chasing side keeps winning, but because it’s a fresh pitch and he thinks there might be something in it for the bowlers.

India are unchanged. Pakistan, as expected, recall Mohammad Amir, presumably at the expense of his handy understudy, Rumman Raees. “They’re gonna need 300,” says Shane Warne, which seems a fair shout. But remember– they can win with 109. Cornered tigers!

Morning everyone, and welcome to the big one. Yes, it’s Fathers’ Day here in Britain. In fact, this really is the big one – the final of many fans’ dreams, and of every administrator’s. It’s the first time a major cricket tournament has ever culminated in the biggest local derby in the whole of sport.

It’s India v Pakistan. It’s also superstars v journeymen, overlords v underdogs, well-oiled machinery v something more mercurial, and, broadly speaking, batsmen v bowlers. Pakistan have Azhar Mahmood, who only retired five minutes ago, as their bowling coach, and he has a theory about this. “My theory is: batsmen win you games, bowlers win you tournaments.” It was true when Pakistan won the World Cup under Imran Khan, blowing away a hefty England batting line-up.

Tim will be here shortly. But in the meantime, here’s some pre-match reading, from Dileep Premachandran …

Related: Pakistan cling to spirit of Javed Miandad rather than ghost of Chetan Sharma | Dileep Premachandran

Related: India and Pakistan promise Champions Trophy final of contrasts fit for the age | Barney Ronay

Related: Virat Kohli: composure is key in India-Pakistan Champions Trophy final

Related: Will Pakistan’s dangerous trio give us a final to savour against India? | Vic Marks

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England beat South Africa by nine wickets in first T20 international – as it happened

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Related: Jonny Bairstow and Alex Hales send England cruising past South Africa

In the post-match chatting, De Villiers says he found it difficult to create pace with the bat and hit it off the square. “For some reason, I can’t explain why, it was difficult to hit through the line.” For England, Morgan says, “To be honest, I thought we were excellent,” making particular emphasis on praising the spinners Crane and Dawson and eulogising Bairstow’s “hunger to do well”. Bairstow is duly named man of the match.

England were indeed impressively dominant here, coming so soon after a good number of their squad suffered that chastening beating by Pakistan, with encouraging performances here by newbies such as Crane and more experienced hands such as Bairstow, Wood and Hales. South Africa were up against it from the start, and were outclassed more and more as the match went on, and by the end were spilling catches and fumbling all over the place.

One more important email from Ian Copestake:

A nice Glastonbury overlap concerns the wonderful efforts of Liz Aubrey, currently covering the music event in her role as a music journo, to set up a charity cricket event in honour of Dan Lucas this summer.

14.3 overs: England 143-1 (Hales 47, Bairstow 60), target 143. Cheeky brilliance from Bairstow – Phehlukwayo sends a short sharp one in at him, but Bairstow just leans back and lets it fall onto his uppercut, which flies above the keeper and goes for four to bring the scores level, and a quick single follows to win it with ease. The rout is done and dusted. England have utterly outclassed South Africa here.

14th over: England 138-1 (Hales 47, Bairstow 55), target 143. Excellent running between the wickets, even with the game won, sums up England’s fine display today. Bairstow scampers two more this way off Shamsi’s first ball and then brings up his half-century, off 29 deliveries, with an effortless back-foot drive for four. Shamsi comes back at him well, to be fair, pushing one through his defences and Bairstow misses. A neat chip brings two more and a single takes England to within five of victory.

“If Taunton want to recreate that festival atmosphere they should get Hendricks on stage,” writes Phil Sawyer. “He can perform the Star Spangled Banner then set fire to his guitar. I’m here all week, try the lobster.”

142/3 just about the most unforgivable score imaginable in T20. Massive miscalculation of the relative value of the resources available.

13th over: England 129-1 (Hales 47, Bairstow 46), target 143. When it’s not running for you, it’s not running for you. Bairstow’s fine square cut is well cut off initially by the boundary, but only parried over the ropes for four. It gets worse, when Hales’s straight slog is dropped by Berhardien and then nudged over for four. Hales then rubs the saltiest of salt into the gaping wound with a belting six over long-on.

12th over: England 112-1 (Hales 36, Bairstow 40), target 143. Hales belts Pretorius away on the legside in front of square for two, and then cuts for one more before Bairstow steps to his side and ramps a short ball over his head for four. The pattern of this international white-ball English summer is continuing – fine cricket, but easy wins. We need a close match somewhere soon.

11th over: England 104-1 (Hales 33, Bairstow 35), target 143. A spin for spin replacement, as Smuts returns. He’s done a bit more than most and is accurate and tidy here, unlike Phehlukwayo on the deep extra-cover boundary who fumbles Bairstow’s firm reverse-sweep over the ropes for four. Which means Bairstow and Hales can just languidly take their singles where they please for the rest of the over. Seven from it.

10th over: England 97-1 (Hales 32, Bairstow 30), target 143. The right-arm quick Pretorius is into the attack and is nudged off his pads for three by Hales straight away. He then concedes a wide, which could have been four of them but for a fine sprawling dive by Mosehle. A nudged Hales single and a quick, soft-handed Bairstow one ensue before Hales slashes over the in-field behind square on the offside to get four more. This is a stroll.

9th over: England 85-1 (Hales 23, Bairstow 28), target 143. The keeper Mosehle yells excitedly as Shamsi sends his first two balls into Hales’s pads but each are pitched outside leg stump. Hales adds a single to tee up Bairstow to step back and lift another glorious straight driven SIX into the crowd. A bit of strike rotation completes the over, which is all England need to do really now. They’re talking about meat raffles in the commentary box and people in the crowd are dad-dancing to One Step Beyond. Could there be a more English scene?

8th over: England 76-1 (Hales 21, Bairstow 21), target 143. Bairstow advances to sweep a low full toss from Tahir to deep square leg for two, which is a mere appetiser for a confident swept SIX in front of square on the legside. It’s confident stuff from the Yorkshireman, who’s clearly relishing the opportunity and has zipped along to 21 from 13 balls.

7th over: England 64-1 (Hales 20, Bairstow 10), target 143. The quickish left-arm spinner Shamsi comes on. It’s getting darker and duskier out there, with the floodlights now on, which could make him a tricky customer but Shamsi’s a little too short at times here. Bairstow picks up three, and a couple more singles ensue, but it’s tight enough.

6th over: England 59-1 (Hales 19, Bairstow 6), target 143. South Africa call on Tahir, and perhaps they need to, but not if Hales can get on top of him as he does second ball here, mowing it low over midwicket and into the crowd for SIX. A couple more singles follow. Tahir didn’t find as much turn there as England’s spinners did, but you don’t necessarily expect him to. And that’s the end of the powerplay.

@tomdaviesE17 If it's on at the same time as Glastonbury, it's bound to be rained off with a waterlogged pitch

5th over: England 51-1 (Hales 12, Bairstow 5), target 143. Another bowler strikes with his first ball of the match, Phehlukwayo this time snaring Roy, who undoes his brilliance of the previous over with an ill-advised reverse swipe. Bairstow is off the mark with a nice square cut for four. But ten an over so far will do for England.

Fun fact: Roy had score more runs in that previous over than he did in the entire Champions Trophy.

Oh Jason, what have you done? After all that, Roy goes, missing an attempted reverse-sweep off the new bowler’s first delivery, and being hit low and plum in front. No need for that at all.

4th over: England 45-0 (Roy 28, Hales 11), target 143. Jason Roy is back, back, back, as England run amok. Parnell begins an over with a wayward ball again, this one wide down the legside, which is nudged off Roy’s thigh guard past the keeper for four leg-byes. Roy is swiftly onto the next ball though, taking one step and belting it high over the bowler’s head, not for a “maximum” but for a SIX. A top-edge for four follows and Parnell’s losing his head a bit here, but credit to Roy, who treats the next two ball – much better ones – with disdain, a beautifully timed and placed clip through the legside for four preceding a square punch on the offside for four more. Terrific batting.

3rd over: England 22-0 (Roy 9, Hales 11), target 143. Smuts continues, around the wicket to Roy, who swipes a clean and agreeable SIX over backward square leg, which is well caught in the crowd. Another single puts Hales on strike, and he thumps the final ball of the over through the offside for two.

2nd over: England 12-0 (Roy 2, Hales 8), target 143. South Africa start with pace at the other end, Parnell banging his first ball down short, wide and not very handsome to concede the first extra. The next one’s short too, and Hales is onto it quickly, clobbering it high over midwicket for four. Parnell comes back well, anticipating Hales’s movement at the crease but the batsman is able to carve out two more with a square drive. A leg-bye completes a satisfying over for England.

Looking ahead in this series, I’m not sure what the cricket/Glastonbury crossover demographic is, but this seems a decent point:

Who on earth scheduled a T20 International at Taunton on the Friday of Glastonbury?

1st over: England 4-0 (Roy 2, Hales 2), target 143. South Africa open with spin. The left-armer JJ Smuts, having faced the first ball of South Africa’s innings, bowls the first one of England’s, to rather better effect – his first ball sliding into Roy’s pads, but it’s going down leg. A clipped single gets Roy away next ball, and Hales is off the mark straight away with one too. It’s a tidy first over, with a pair of singles to each batsman.

Welcome back and shut up. For out come the England batsmen.

So, England will fancy themselves to chase down a modest looking target, having bowled with considerable nous and control for most of that innings, though Imran Tahir might fancy his chances of making serious inroads for South Africa too – the home side’s spinners certainly caused some problems. I’m making no predictions. Instead, I’m having a quick break before England’s reply. See you in a bit.

20th over: South Africa 142-3 (De Villiers 65, Behardien 64). Jordan’s last over begins with a low full toss, pushed through the off for a single by Behardien. It brings De Villiers to the strike, and he treats us to what he’s best at – hitting a six that never looks on, effortlessly swinging across the line at a low full toss and somehow sending it high over the square leg boundary for SIX. Jordan comes back well with an attempted yorker. De Villier adds a two and a one, which means Behardien faces the final ball of the innings, which he can only carve out to deep extra cover for one.

19th over: South Africa 131-3 (De Villiers 56, Behardien 62). Belatedly, South Africa cut loose – their best over of the innings. An excellent dive on the deep backward point boundary from Billings prevents Wood’s final over from starting with a four but his subsequent one does go to the boundary, Behardien reaching his half-century with a club through the onside. It gets better for South Africa next up, a textbook lofted straight drive for SIX. A miscued hook still brings Behardien two more. These two have now added 99.

18th over: South Africa 116-3 (De Villiers 56, Behardien 47). Jordan is brought back into the attack, and starts expertly by spotting De Villiers stepping back to leg and just sending a wide straight one beyond his grasp on the offside. Two fine yorkers then yield two singles and a couple more singles – Roy diving well at mid-off to prevent one of them being a four – is all that South Africa can eke out from an excellent over. Top notch death bowling.

17th over: South Africa 112-3 (De Villiers 54, Behardien 45). De Villiers tries to have a go at Willey, advancing down the pitch and smiting it one-handed to long-on but it only gets a single. Behardien tries to advance too but is felled by a ball that cannons into his midriff off his inside edge. Ouch. Another quarter-chance is offered with a slog square on the legside that bounces just short of the advancing Crane, before De Villiers finally does clear the boundary, stepping back, going down on one knee and hammering it square on the legside for SIX to bring up his 50. He has 54 from 50 balls.

16th over: South Africa 102-3 (De Villiers 46, Behardien 43). Wood is back in the attack, and he at least is getting a bit of pace and bounce off this pitch, and it’s fascinating to watch batsman and bowler trying to anticipate one another’s intentions and outwit each other. Behardien pulls him for one and De Villiers bunts another before Behardien manages to get hold of a short, wide delivery, swivelling and hoiking it into the crowd behind deep square leg for SIX, only the second of the innings.

15th over: South Africa 93-3 (De Villiers 45, Behardien 35). Willey returns, and Behardien picks up two straight away with a legside nudge, before something of a chance goes begging as Behardien hooks high towards the square leg boundary and Crane can’t quite reach it cleanly as it drops down behind him and goes to the ropes for four. Another two singles follow, and South Africa are still struggling for the clean hits. Perhaps this pitch isn’t such a batsman’s paradise – De Villiers’ innings has certainly been unusually orthodox. But he’s still there…

14th over: South Africa 84-3 (De Villiers 44, Behardien 27). What a let off for De Villiers, who is bamboozled by a bit of extra pace and bounce as well as spin from Crane, and top-edges high towards mid-off but it lands before anyone can grab it. After two singles and a brilliant attempted yorker, Crane’s excellent spell ends with a low full toss that De Villiers is finally able to club away to the long-on boundary for four. But Crane ends with decent figures of 0-24 from his four. Promising stuff.

13th over: South Africa 78-3 (De Villiers 39, Behardien 26). Dawson is going to bowl through, and his final over begins with a cut for two from AB, who’s looking a tad frustrated, as is demonstrated by a grubbed inside-edge hack square on the legside for two – Dawson not allowing him any room again – and the spinner ends with a dot to conclude a very useful spell of 0-17 from four overs. So when will De Villiers unleash carnage?

Dawson bowled every ball to right-handers today - his economy v RHB is 6.74, compared to 8.12 v LHB #ENGvSA

12th over: South Africa 73-3 (De Villiers 35, Behardien 25). Crane’s variations have been good, and all underpinned with accuracy and a general absence of loose freebies, though De Villiers steps back to chip one of his googlies artfully through the legside for two. But he’s kept control nicely, and Crane has gone for only 18 from his three overs. Does Morgan keep him on now or save him for later, to keep a bit of variety back for later?

11th over: South Africa 68-3 (De Villiers 31, Behardien 24). This is all a bit of an old-fashioned middle-overs meander from South Africa – runs but no boundaries. Behardien takes a chancey single off Dawson that almost gets De Villiers run out but he scrambles home. The South Africa captain tries to hit out on the offside but still can only manage two and England aren’t offering them much at all.

10th over: South Africa 62-3 (De Villiers 27, Behardien 22). The Hampshire spin-tandem continues to good effect, and South Africa still can’t clear the in-field, dealing in ones and the odd two off Crane. De Villiers has only three fours to show for his 27 but, crucially, he’s still out there. England will be happy with this at the halfway stage though.

9th over: South Africa 55-3 (De Villiers 25, Behardien 17). Dawson continues, and the strike is rotated for a couple of singles before De Villiers offers up two half-chances, a drive to short mid-off that bounces agonisingly short of Roy and a return to the bowler that bounces just in front of him. But it’s an impressively tight over.

8th over: South Africa 53-3 (De Villiers 24, Behardien 16). Cheers go up as Mason Crane is given his debut over in international cricket. And his first ball for England is a good’un, a sharp leg break that Behardien can only punt away nervily and defensively. A wrong’un then gives him a second dot, but a slash-edged four to third man breaks the spell. A couple of singles are all that the rest of the over yields, and that’s a nervelessly impressive start from the leg-spinner.

7th over: South Africa 47-3 (De Villiers 23, Behardien 11). The first over after the powerplay sees a change of pace, with the left-arm spinner Dawson on. He’s nice and tight, spearing it into the right-handers and conceding little width. AB makes space to cut for a single square on the offside, but South Africa can only deal in ones, four of them to be precise. This is good stuff from England, though De Villiers’ presence is a concern.

6th over: South Africa 43-3 (De Villiers 21, Behardien 9). Jordan ups the pace, but Behardien steers a short ball deftly to the third man boundary for four. He’s settled quickly. Two singles and a well-run two follow before a wild throw almost concedes four overthrows but it’s well stopped and is only one. Ten from the over.

“I bet Adil Rashid enjoyed reading Morgan’s comments that he sees Mason Crane as his successor,” writes Tom Van De Gucht. “That’s a bit like picking up the job section of the newspaper and seeing your job being advertised! Or logging into Facebook to see your special lady friend has been posting about a romantic night out with another chap. Not that that’s ever happened to me...”

5th over: South Africa 33-3 (De Villiers 19, Behardien 1). What a great bowler to watch Mark Wood is – speed, with drive and charisma. He changes ends to great effect, dismissing Miller straight away as the left-hander inside edges to the keeper. Pace makes its mark, even on a batsman’s pitch like this, and to prove it Wood greets Behardien with some chin music, thwacking him on the helmet first ball. The new man is off the mark with a pull to deep square leg for one but it’s the only run of the over.

Wood takes a wicket with the first ball of his second over as well! The change of ends works, Miller cut in half by a zippy pacey delivery that takes his inside edge on the way through to Buttler.

4th over: South Africa 32-2 (De Villiers 19, Miller 9). Chris Jordan is the new bowler, and De Villiers and Miller swap ends briskly with consecutive dabbed singles before some good variations secure three consecutive dot balls, from two slow slower balls and a short angled-in-quicker one. But his slower ball is finally picked from the last ball of the over, which De Villiers cracks high to the long-off boundary for four. Good cricket all round.

3rd over: South Africa 26-2 (De Villiers 14, Miller 8). More classical stroke-making through the offside from South Africa, this time Miller with an impeccable pose-holding lofted off-drive for SIX off the first ball of Willey’s over. A couple of easy singles follow – England will need to break this pairing before too long and not relinquish the pressure.

2nd over: South Africa 18-2 (De Villiers 13, Miller 1). England go old-school and open with quicks at both ends, Wood starting from the Pavilion End. And he strikes straight away too, Hendricks pulling straight to midwicket. In comes the dangerous Miller, as well as three (count ‘em!) slips from the England captain. Miller dabs a single to get off the mark, and De Villiers follows up with a sumptuous back-foot cut through the offside for four. Proper cricket shot. It’s one of two lovely boundaries through the offside from AB this over.

“I see Smuts is an all-rounder,” quips Scott Thomas, threatening very much to be here all week. “I presume he bowls some filth?”

Wood strikes with his first ball as well! Hendricks pulls a shortish one fiercely to midwicket where Willey plucks it sharply out of the air. Both openers gone already.

1st over: South Africa 7-1 (Hendricks 3, De Villiers 3). Following a needlessly deafening PA blast of some bombastic landfill indie or other, David Willey, who could do with a big performance here, is tossed the ball first. And you can’t start much better than with a seam-up inswinger first ball that takes the batsmen’s inside edge and clatters into the stumps, making Smuts the first man to be dismissed in the first ball of a South Africa T20 innings. Extraordinary start. The next one swings too, but it strays too far down legside and is called wide. De Villiers gets off the mark with a nudge off his pads. Hendricks is away with a nice back-foot punch through the offside for three. De Villiers then collects a clipped two, but it’s a very good over from Willey, finding some movement and a decent length.

England strike first ball! The right-hander inside-edges an inswinger from the left-arm Willey onto his stumps.

Out come the players. These South African openers, Smuts and Hendricks, are relatively callow, with only three and six T20 international appearances behind them respectively, but Smuts in particular can strike the ball hard and true. Let’s see how they go.

England: Hales, Roy, Bairstow, Morgan, Buttler, Billings, Dawson, Jordan, Willey, Crane, Wood.

South Africa: Hendricks, Smuts, De Villiers, Miller, Behardien, Mosehle, Pretorius, Parnell, Phehlukwayo, Shamsi, Tahir

AB De Villiers says the pitch “looks alright”. Say what you see. Eoin Morgan is more effusive, describing it as a “great wicket”.

“Hi Tom.” Hi Peter Salmon. “I note that Samit Patel has scored his second County double hundred in 10 days, with 122 not out in the One Day Cup Semi-Final in between. I’m calling for his England recall, not because I think he should be brought back, but because we’ve been looking for a new Mark Ramprakash for too long. It gave structure to the summer, wondering if Ramprakash had done enough. Let the debate begin!”

There’s been a few contenders for that role this summer, the discarded England man racking up the runs – see also Sam Robson and Garry Ballance – so if we can just get the spirit of that debate up and running again, we could have an embarrassment of riches. But it also requires selectoral chaos at the top for these arguments to attract interest, and England are a bit too much of an efficient machine in that regard. Funny to think, mind, that Patel played a Test for England as recently as 19 months ago – times move quickly.

While we’re waiting for the toss, some other cricket bits and pieces, such as the County Champions, Middlesex, finally winning a game, Yorkshire coming a cropper at Lord’s once again. Will Macpherson can tell you all about their victory by an innings and 64 runs here:

Related: Middlesex hammer Yorkshire in three days to finally resemble champions

The bilateral Twenty20 international series is a curious beast. While T20 has transformed the game’s economics, its schedules and its techniques over the past decade, your common or garden international version of the format still has the feel of a tagged-on afterthought. While the IPL may sweep all before it and the World T20 can dazzle, a three-match series crowbarred into the timetable is never really a showpiece event. Stop anyone in the street and ask them to name either of England and South Africa’s most recent T20 results and they’ll stare at you blankly. Mind you, stop anyone in the street and ask them to name anything that’s happened in cricket in the past decade and you might get the same blank gaze, if the bleakest narratives are anything to go by.

Anyway, it’s 21 June, high summer, gloriously/insufferably hot and two talented teams await us. South Africa performed poorly in the Champions Trophy, England did not – until their most important game, in which they were steamrollered by the sport’s most gloriously unpredictable life force. Both these sides also lost their most recent T20 series, South Africa 1-2 at home to Sri Lanka and England by the same score away to India, where they at least performed more creditably than they had in the 50-over and five-day formats during that tour. So, there’ll be some T20 rust to be shaken off today.

Lovely to see Pakistan news channel pick up on Rob Smyth's OBO coverage. Even lovelier they used pic of Tommy Smyth https://t.co/of09TfcnKC

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South Africa beat England by three runs in second T20 match – as it happened

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An angry spell from Chris Morris inspired a tremendous South African fightback that ended in a three-run victory at Taunton

Related: South Africa edge thriller as England count cost of Jason Roy dismissal

20th over: England 171-6 (Dawson 7, Plunkett 0) Phehlukwayo slips a wide yorker through Dawson to secure a superb comeback victory for South Africa. England will feel they threw it away - they were 125 for one in the 14th - but South Africa, roused by an angry spell from Chris Morris, bowled excellently at the death. It means we have a series decider at Cardiff on Sunday, and also that we’ll be hearing plenty about Jason Roy’s controversial dismissal for obstructing the field. It was a brilliant game and an absolute triumph for Somerset. Thanks for your company, goodnight!

Well bowled Andile Phehlukwayo!

19.5 overs: England 171-6 (need 4 from one ball) Dawson nails a superb one-bounce four to long off. England need four to win or three for a Super Over.

Oh dear. Livingstone tries to steal an imaginary second to keep strike, Dawson isn’t watching and South Africa have all the time in the world to run Livingstone out.

19.3 overs: England 166-5 (need 9 from 3 balls) Just a single again. This is brilliant from South Africa.

19.2 overs: England 165-5 (need 10 from 4 balls) Just a single.

19.1 overs: England 164-5 (need 11 from five balls) If the scores are tied we’ll have a Super Over. It’ll be pitch black! Phehlukwayo will bowl the last over, and Dawson takes a single off his first ball.

19th over: England 163-5 (Livingstone 14, Dawson 1) The game was scheduled to finish at 8pm, so the light is a significant factor now. England need 12 from the last over.

Morgan has gone! He hit a low full toss towards mid-on, where de Villiers took the catch even though he couldn’t see the ball! He put his hands straight over his face in relief that a) he caught it and b) he didn’t wear it. Incredible stuff.

18.3 overs: England 157-4 (Livingstone 14, Morgan 2) Paterson will bowl the penultimate over. Livingstone, who has played a scratchy innings, misses three consecutive deliveries outside off stump - but the last two are called wide, to the consternation of South Africa. I wish there was a playercam on Chris Morris right now. Livingstone then crunches a yorker down the ground, breaking his bat in the process. Pieces of his bat flew everywhere! There’s a delay while a new bat is brought out. England need 17 from nine balls.

18th over: England 154-4 (Livingstone 13, Morgan 1) England need 21 from two overs. The light isn’t great now, and there are no floodlights. That may be a factor.

“Hi Rob,” says Michael Hann. “Much as I was enjoying Jason Roy’s innings, I am genuinely pleased to see him being given out obstructing the field, for crossing the pitch to run between the stumps and the throwing fielder (the thrown ball hit him, and he was given out). Some of you may recall the incident between England and New Zealand in 2008, when NZ were furious that Grant Elliott was given run out after colliding with Ryan Sidebottom, leaving him unable to make his ground. I suggested on a Guardian cricket thread at the time that Elliott should have been given out, but not run out - for obstructing the field. He looked up, and clearly and deliberately ran into Sidebottom’s path, to prevent him getting to the ball. People were outraged at my suggestion. I was always taught the batsmen run on opposite sides of the strip, but in recent years they have engaged in gamesmanship by both running on the side the ball is being fielded - it’s clearly trying to obstruct the field. Glad to see umpires doing something about it. Have a look at the Elliott incident.”

Beautifully bowled! Phehlukwayo takes care of Buttler with an immaculate yorker, and England need 22 from 14 balls.

17th over: England 146-3 (Livingstone 7, Buttler 8)South Africa were right to bowl out Morkel and Morris - doing so got them back into the match - but it means they are down to the change bowlers for the death overs. Paterson returns to the attack. A couple of you have mentioned that he has an interesting action, and I see what you mean. Buttler works him for four and then survives an LBW appeal by virtue of being outside the line. Livingstone then mishits a pull that lands short of long on. He’s not playing fluently; he may have been a bit unsettled by all that jazz with Morris.

Was there 100% proof that Jason Roy obstructed the field on purpose? On field umpire gave soft decision of not out? #controversial

#GrenfellTower Please support our game with @HouseofCommons on Tuesday: https://t.co/WleU3jRpIspic.twitter.com/USBdVWMQ5X

16th over: England 135-3 (Livingstone 7, Buttler 0)The new batsman is the returning hero Jos Buttler. Chris Morris is playing the villain. He rams a superb bouncer past Livingstone before attempting to establish once and for all whether looks can kill. Livingstone charges Morris’s last delivery, with the ball ending in the hands of slip. South Africa thought it was off the edge; the umpire Rob Bailey thought it came off the shoulder. Morris is fuming - and you can understand why, because Ultra-Edge suggests there was a top-edge onto the shoulder as Livingstone tried to deposit him towards Glastonbury. Morris ends a brilliant spell with figures of two for 18. England need 40 from 24 balls.

Morris has pretty much told AB de Villiers that he will be bowling this over. He wants another crack at Livingstone. The first ball brings an appeal forobstructing the field against the non-striker Roy, and they are going upstairs. He was sent back by Livingstone and swapped over to the other side of the pitch to get in the line of the throw. I think he’ll be out here. And if he’s not, Chris Morris is going to go postal!

Here comes the decision ... he’s out! There are boos around Taunton but that’s an understandable decision. Roy played a fine, important innings of 67 from 44 balls.

15th over: England 133-2 (Roy 67, Livingstone 6) Shamsi has bowled pretty well and has avoided significant punishment. Six from another boundaryless over, so England need 42 from 30 balls.

14th over: England 127-2 (Roy 65, Livingstone 2) Liam Livingstone has been promoted ahead of Eoin Morgan. He’s a tall batsman who gives the ball some almighty hammer. Morris gives him a serve, and then another, and then a third at the end of the over! No idea what that’s all about but Morris is stomping around with murderous intent. Great stuff.

“Is there anyone at Taunton reading a Band-by-Band (BBB ….. did i just invent that?) Report about Glastonbury?” says Alan Smith. “I think we need to be told?”

Bairstow falls three short of fifty, driving Morris to mid-on. That was another splendid innings, 47 from 37 balls.

13th over: England 124-1 (Roy 64, Bairstow 47) A good over from Shamsi - four from the first five balls - is tarnished when Bairstow pulls four round the corner. This is turning into a run-stroll for England rather than a run-chase. Meanwhile, the Gaffer speaks sense, as always.

Well batted @JasonRoy20 Back doing what he does best. Let's not forget "form is temporary, class is permanent"

12th over: England 116-1 (Roy 62, Bairstow 41) Morkel is no-balled for disturbing the stumps during his bowling action. Bairstow crashes the free hit through extra cover for four. Morkel has bowled pretty well yet ends with grisly figures of 4-0-43-0 after consecutive boundaries from the increasingly fluent Roy. He has 62 from 37 balls and has played tremendously.

“It may be many years before the ground hosts another game, but Taunton will always have a special place in Indian hearts thanks to THAT partnership between Dravid and Ganguly against Sri Lanka at the 1999 World Cup,” says Dileep Premachandran. “After the recent coach fiasco, both men are centre stage again for various reasons. You think back to that sunlit day, and realise just how rapidly an era has passed.”

11th over: England 102-1 (Roy 54, Bairstow 36) The left-arm wrist-spinner Tabraiz Shamsi is coming into the attack, presumably with a bit of trepidation. Roy almost drags the first ball onto his stumps before reaching an excellent fifty with a huge straight six. That’s his first fifty of the international summer. As Roy Keane used to say to Dwight Yorke: welcome back.

“Re: over 9,” begins Ian Stewart. “Don’t tell Tim Woolias that Steps have reformed.”

10th over: England 92-1 (Roy 45, Bairstow 35) Morkel returns to the attack, with South Africa desperate for a wicket. A sizzling short ball beats everyone and goes for four byes, and then Bairstow nails a thrilling flat pull for six. He is a beast of a batsman.

9th over: England 80-1 (Roy 44, Bairstow 28) Loads of runs, a fast pitch and a great atmosphere: today has been a triumph for Taunton. The left-arm spinner JJ Smuts comes into the attack, and Bairstow hits consecutive boundaries down the ground. He has 28 from 23 balls. Bairstow isn’t in the form of his life; this is his level, the one he’s been at for a couple of years.

Meanwhile, we have a reader at Glastonbury! “Evening Rob,” writes David Beckham Tim Woollias. “I’m at the Park stage waiting for a ‘surprise’ act that is rumoured to be Elbow, the Killers, the 1975 or just about everyone.”

8th over: England 68-1 (Roy 42, Bairstow 19) It’s not easy to get on top of the short ball on this pitch but Roy manages it, walloping a pull through midwicket for four off Phehlukwayo. Bairstow then hits consecutive boundaries down the ground, a classical drive followed by a ferocious tennis shot. An eventful over concludes with a very good shout for LBW when Bairstow walks across the stumps and misses. Rob Bailey says not out and there are no reviews in T20. Replays show it was shaving leg stump and would have been umpire’s call.

7th over: England 55-1 (Roy 37, Bairstow 11) Paterson zips a short one past Roy’s attempted tennis shot, with just four singles from the over.. South Africa have taken to a difficult task with admirable relish.

6th over: England 51-1 (Roy 35, Bairstow 10) Roy drags the new bowler Phehlukwayo towards cow corner, where Hendricks does superbly to save the boundary. England are well on course, even though their progress hasn’t been smooth against some lively pace bowling.

“David Beckham’s at Glastonbury at the mo - wonder what the chances are of him making an impromptu appearance at the County Ground,” says Andrew Benton. “Does Johnny Depp know what cricket is?”

5th over: England 45-1 (Roy 31, Bairstow 8) The right-arm seamer Dane Paterson replaces Morne Morkel, goes for 10. Roy pulls round the corner for four, which takes him to his highest international score of a difficult summer. He looks well on the road to recovery now. Bairstow then gets his second boundary, flicking Paterson just over the leaping Morkel at short fine leg.

“Rob,” says John Starbuck. “If anyone is actually at Glasto and reading the OBO can they let us know please?”

4th over: England 35-1 (Roy 27, Bairstow 4) Morris rips a lovely delivery past Bairstow’s outside edge, part of an exceptional over that is tarnished only partially when Bairstow laces the last ball through extra cover for four.

“Is Wood injured, or rested? Why in earth was he risked in a T20 in the first place?” says Tom Van der Gucht. “Surely they should’ve swaddled him in cotton wool and bubble wrap upon completion of the Champions Trophy to avoid any injury risk. If he is crocked, the England bowling line-up for the Tests could look pretty green! With Woakes, Broad and Anderson all racing for fitness, it would be interesting to see who the selections would plump for. A bit like in the India series in 2007 when Anderson, Sidebottom, Tremlett and Panesar all had to step up to the plate.”

3rd over: England 31-1 (Roy 27, Bairstow 0) Jason Roy takes four fours from Morkel’s second over! The first two were fortunate, inside-edged past the stumps, but he followed those with two terrific shots through midwicket and the covers.

2nd over: England 15-1 (Roy 11, Bairstow 0) “Rob,” says Dan Silk. “I’ve not been privileged to see Tom Curran close up before, and so the exciting hairstyle on display is new to me (photo presently atop the OBO). Is it actually the skin of some unfortunate animal, perhaps a small otter? And does this mark the start of a new trend, so we can expect to see Root wearing a hedgehog, Stokes probably part of a ginger wolverine, and indeed the Aussie team in assorted home marsupials? Or am I reading too much into this and it will go the way of the Dernbach?”

Inspiration, yeah?

Chris Morris’s opening delivery bursts past Roy’s attempted cut. There is lovely pace and bounce in this pitch, and later in the over Roy inside-edges an on-drive over square leg for four. This has been an encouraging start for South Africa, who need wickets if they are to win this match - and now they’ve got one! Billings mispulls Morris towards mid-off, where Miller slides to take a comfortable low catch.

1st over: England 5-0 (Roy 4, Billings 1) South Africa need early wickets to undermine England’s runchase. They have a stronger attack today, not least because of the return of Morne Morkel. He gets some extravagant bounce in his first over, with Roy missing a swipe at a ball that trampolines past the top edge. No boundaries in the first over.

“Watching T20 cricket is the only way I get to experience modern music,” says Ian Copestake. “I do think though a miserablist playlist for T20 might work. A wicket falls so bang on Love will Tear Us Apart.”

20th over: South Africa 174-8 (Morkel 0, Paterson 4) Paterson smacks his first ball, the last of the innings, expansively over extra cover for four. That means England will need 175 to win. It’s a sizeable target, but on this ground they are favourites to win. See you in 15 minutes for the runchase.

Behardien turns down a single off the first ball to keep the strike - and justifies the decision by lifting a full toss over square leg for six next ball. Those are his last runs, however, and he is plumb LBW to the penultimate delivery of the innings from Jordan.

19th over: South Africa 164-7 (Behardien 26, Morkel 0) Tom Curran ends a really encouraging debut with figures of 4-0-33-3. Before the wicket of Phehlukwayo he was belted for six by Behardien. The much maligned Behardien has played well today, making 26 not out from 16 balls. Morkel turns down a single off the last delivery so that Behardien can keep strike.

Have some of that! Curran gets his third wicket with a cracking yorker that batters into Phehlukwayo’s off stump.

Another wicket for the impressive Tom Curran, with Morris clouting a slower ball to long on. Curran has been excellent, particularly in this second spell. On this evidence, he has about 48 different slower balls.

18th over: South Africa 156-5 (Behardien 18, Morris 12) Morris hoicks a full toss from Jordan to deep midwicket, where Livingstone drops an absolute sitter. Oh my, that didn’t look good. A good over for South Africa, 12 from it.

“On the subject of AB’s name, I always think his parents missed a trick in not calling him Charles or Cornelius,” says Adam Roberts. “Then he would be ABC De Villiers.”

17th over: South Africa 144-5 (Behardien 12, Morris 7) Behardien pings Willey over extra cover for four, the first boundary by somebody not called de Villiers since the 11th over. He’s dropped next ball by Jordan at mid-off. It looked a sitter at first, but it was travelling and it burst through Jordan’s hands to hit him in the jaw.

“The thing about de Villiers,” says Ian Copestake, “is that he does not just give himself width but gets below the ball, hitting it from as low a position as possible so it can go high.”

16th over: South Africa 136-5 (Behardien 6, Morris 5) Tom Curran returns to the attack, mixing up his pace and length during an excellent over. He showed off all his toys in that over, which cost just six.

“I’m with you on Plunkett, Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “There’s nothing so lovely as a late-career renaissance, a Bobby Womack of willow and leather. It’s easy to forget he made his debut in 2005 in Lahore. He was a fresh-faced 20, and I was barely in my fourth decade. It was a different time. He’s really gained the nous only a 15-year career gives you, so it’s glorious to see this twilight phase so richly rewarding.”

15th over: South Africa 130-5 (Behardien 4, Morris 1) South Africa need the new batsman Chris Morris to go ballistic if they are to reach a decent total.

Hoo hoo, what a shot from de Villiers! He walks across his stumps to lift Willey miles over fine leg for six. It’s gone out of the ground and into the river! After a difficult few weeks, it’s nice to see AB with a smile on his face.

Ach, he’s not smiling any longer - he has gone next ball. He sliced Willey high into the off side, with one hand coming off the bat, and Morgan took a calm catch. de Villiers goes for an entertaining 46 from 20 balls.

14th over: South Africa 120-4 (de Villiers 40, Behardien 1) The new batsman is poor old Farhaan Behardien, who has arguably played two match-losing innings on this tour already. de Villiers scrunches a drive between extra cover and mid off for four, and Plunkett ends with excellent figures of two for 36.

“Well, excuse me!” says Adam Spamhead. “I’m actually a pretty big deal in my postcode.”

The crafty Liam Plunkett strikes again. Miller tries to cut a slower short delivery that takes the top edge on its way through to Jos Buttler. Plunkett has become a gem of a white-ball bowler, a specialist in taking wickets in the middle overs.

13th over: South Africa 113-3 (de Villiers 34, Miller 8) de Villiers sweeps Dawson lazily for six to move to 33 from 14 balls. A single next ball takes him to 34 from 15. Dawson ends with figures of one for 38, a decent effort in the circumstances. He’s got something about him.

12th over: South Africa 100-3 (de Villiers 27, Miller 2) Jordan, who is faster than he looks, zips a good delivery past Miller’s attempted cut. A terrific over yields just four singles.

“AB de Villiers confirms that nominative determinism exists,” says Ian Copestake. “I imagine he would not have amounted to much had he had been called Alan Spamhead.”

11th over: South Africa 96-3 (de Villiers 25, Miller 0) That was the last ball of the over. Dawson has again done an impressive job.

Smuts falls to a filthy full toss from Dawson, somehow contriving to top-edge it to Plunkett at short fine leg. He played well, making 45 from 35 balls.

10th over: South Africa 84-2 (Smuts 34, de Villiers 24) Plunkett’s third over goes for 21! de Villiers hits consecutive boundaries off Plunkett to start the over and finishes it by lifting a six high over extra cover. He has 24 from 10 balls and might even have time to reach a century.

“I just had an idea to even out the bowler/batsman inequality these days,” says Romeo. “Along the lines of a limit to how many engines you can use in F1, tell the batsmen that if they damage (or break) their thick-edged but ultimately fragile bats they have to keep going with it or be relegated to Division Two with a massive points deduction and no Test matches.”

9th over: South Africa 63-2 (Smuts 33, de Villiers 5) de Villiers hits consecutive boundaries off Plunkett, a pull followed by a safe edge to third man.

“Dear Rob, I don’t know how soon is soon,” says Tim Sanders. “I wonder if he might miss out for the first test, but I think Hameed will play at some point this summer. Anyway, I’m very happy to be on a T20 OBO discussing the importance of leaving the ball properly.”

8th over: South Africa 60-2 (Smuts 32, de Villiers 3) The new batsman is the preposterous genius known as AB de Villiers. He drives his first ball sweetly for two. Plunkett has extremely good figures of 2-0-8-1.

A terrific bouncer from Plunkett hurries onto Mosehle, who tries to duck and ends up looping the ball just short of point. He also breaks his bat for the second time in the innings. He won’t be breaking any more because he falls later in the over, gloving a slower bouncer down the leg side to Buttler. Plunkett is bowling splendidly.

7th over: South Africa 55-1 (Smuts 31, Mosehle 13) This is turning into the runfest we expected. Smuts monsters Liam Dawson for a big six over midwicket, although the canny Dawson does well to avoid additional damage for the rest of the over.

“Hello Rob,” says Tim Sanders. “Reports from the England Lions game suggest that Hameed was out chasing a wide delivery, which was a surprise given how beautifully he has been leaving the ball. It suggests that he might be briefly bewildered by the ups and downs of being selected, stepping up splendidly to Test cricket and then getting injured. It might also be the challenge of playing one-day cricket alongside the first-class game. There’s every reason to believe that he’ll be back on track soon.”

6th over: South Africa 45-1 (Smuts 23, Mosehle 12) There are two sides to international cricket - and after a triumphant first over, Tom Curran’s second disappears for 15. Smuts smears the first ball into the stumps at the non-striker’s end and away for four, with the umpire Michael Gough jumping out the way in the comedy style. Then Mosehle clatters a majestic six over midwicket, breaking his bat in the process.

“I miss McCullum as a batsman and seem to be a tad in awe of him as cool-sounding commentator with great insight as he knows what is going to happen before it happens,” says Ian Copestake. “Imagine getting into a fight with the flipper. He’d definitely tell you what he was going to do to you before he did it.”

5th over: South Africa 30-1 (Smuts 18, Mosehle 2) Plunkett bowls an excellent first over, with a couple of strangled LBW shouts against Mosehle. England are on top at the moment, though there is a nagging sense that AB de Villiers is going to do something ridiculous later in the innings.

4th over: South Africa 27-1 (Smuts 16, Mosehle 1) Mangaliso Mosehle has been pushed up to No3. Curran almost gets a second when Smuts drags the ball just past his leg stump. That’s a fine first over in an England shirt - four runs and one wicket.

Tom Curran takes a wicket with his second ball in international cricket! Hendricks tried to whip a short ball across the line and dragged it down onto his stumps. He might have gone the ball before, when he top-edged a pull over short fine leg. That’s quite a start from Curran the elder, who sets off on a wild celebration. And why not.

3rd over: South Africa 23-0 (Smuts 15, Hendricks 4) A boundaryless over from Willey, which is a first and possibly a last for this game.

“I’m guessing Hameed’s suffering with his broken finger,” says Patrick O’Brien. “Only young and can take a while for a batsman to get back in nick with a seemingly innocuous injury. He’ll come good again. I say this with all the confidence of a resolute number 11 bat for a parks team!”

2nd over: South Africa 20-0 (Smuts 14, Hendricks 3) Chris Jordan assumes the position at the other end. England have omitted Mason Crane today, which is probably a smart move given the probability of humpty. Brendon McCullum, who is a lovely addition to the Sky commentary team, is already raving about how sweet bat on ball sounds today. Almost as good as this.

Jordan overdoes the attempt to keep bat away from ball, bowling three wides in the over. JJ Smuts takes advantage by pumping the ninth and final ball of the over down the ground for the first six.

1st over: South Africa 8-0 (Smuts 8, Hendricks 0) JJ Smuts, who was out for a golden duck on Wednesday, watches David Willey’s first delivery swing past his off stump. He clouts the next ball through extra cover for the first boundary of the day. A flying stop from Morgan at backward point saves a second boundary, but then the usually impeccable Jordan is nutmegged at mid-off, with the ball racing away to the fence.

Great buzz at Taunton. Somerset could have sold the 12.5k tickets for this T20 international three times over. This is a real cricket town..

“Orlroight moi luvver!” screams Bumble in the Sky commentary box. There’s a cracking atmosphere at Taunton, with the expectation of a very high-scoring game. A score of 200 looks like a minimum rather than par.

“You started the preamble one day ago?” says Stuart Rarity. “That is keen!”

You have no idea how much I love my work, Stuart. No idea. Rare is the night I don’t dream about Aftab Habib’s Test career.

“Of the last two players Lancashire have provided to England, Haseeb Hameed has forgotten how to bat and Simon Kerrigan can’t even get in the team anymore,” says Phil Sawyer ahead of Liam Livingstone’s debut. “We’d be very grateful if England could please avoid breaking LL Cool Stone (don’t blame me for the nickname, blame the county live blog’s Will Macpherson). We have a lot of hopes pinned on this young lad.”

Yes, what the hell has happened to Hameed? I have never seen a young England batsman play better than he did in India, and now he can barely get into double figures.

Some pre-match reading: good news, bad news and sad news

Related: Ireland to seek talks over Lord’s Test after being granted full-member status

Related: Over and out: Henry Blofeld to retire from cricket commentary on BBC radio

Related: England hit by Lauren Winfield injury on eve of Women’s World Cup

England Roy, Billings, Bairstow, Morgan (c), Buttler (wk), Livinstone, Dawson, Willey, Jordan, Plunkett, Curran.

South Africa Smuts, Hendricks, de Villiers (c), Miller, Berhardien, Mosehle (wk), Morris, Phehlukwayo, Shamsi, Morkel, Paterson.

There are two debutants in the England side: the huge-hitting Liam Livingstone and Surrey’s Tom Curran. If you’re not excited about what Livingstone might achieve in the next few years, you should visit a doctor at your earliest convenience (or read up on him if it’s a case of simple ignorance rather than being dead inside).

Hello you. We both know awards are meaningless, until the day we win one. With that in mind, it gives me great pleasure to tell you that, if England beat South Africa today, they will move up to No1 in the prestigious, world-famous ICC T20 rankings. If they lose, they will drop to third in the rankings that nobody cares about.

Going top of the T20 table for the first time since 2012 wouldn’t be much consolation for last week’s confusing, distressing Champions Trophy defeat to Pakistan, but it would be further evidence that England have become a formidable team in what we are contractually obliged to describe as white-ball cricket. And it would ensure a series win with a match to spare.

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England v South Africa: third T20 international – live!

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1st over: England 4-0 (Roy 4, Hales 0) Chris Morris, whose rage brought South Africa back into the series on Friday, bowls the first over. This is a fresh pitch with a striking green tinge, so this might be a decent toss to win. Crikey, Roy has been dropped third ball. He slogged the ball miles - miles - in the air towards fine leg, so much so that the cameraman had no idea where the ball was. The keeper Mosehle ran 30 yards to get there, only for it to burst through his gloves. I know this because of the magic of action replays.

Some pre-match reading

Related: Pink balls at night may not be every batsman’s delight | Vic Marks

Related: Tom Curran determined to build on confident start in England decider

Related: Heather Knight the first of four run-outs as India shock England in opener

Related: Steve Harmison: ‘I didn’t want the public to know about my depression’

England Roy, Hales, Malan, Buttler (c/wk), Billings, Livingstone, Plunkett, Willey, Jordan, Curran, Crane.

South Africa Smuts, Hendricks, Mosehle (wk), de Villiers (c), Miller, Behardien, Morris, Phehlukwayo, Morkel, Paterson, Tahir.

Jos Buttler captains England, with Eoin Morgan surprisingly rested. Dawid Malan makes his international debut. Craig Overton does not, despite the earlier suggestion that everyone in the squad would get at least one game. Plenty of fuel for keyboard warriordom there.

Let’s try that one again. England made a mess of winning the series on Friday, their complacency reacting with South Africa’s furious pride to produce an unexpected twist, so now we have a decider at Cardiff. The match does not exactly scream C-O-N-T-E-X-T, yet it’s a chance to see how England’s young players fare in the heightened circumstances of a winner-takes-all match.

A victory would take South Africa above England in the spandex-tight T20 rankings. There is also a sense that, if they win this series after such an abysmal start to their tour, it will significantly empower them going into the first Test at Lord’s next week. Never mind rankings and series wins, that’s probably the most important context of all.

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England v South Africa: first Test – live!

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Joe Root’s mighty 184 not out in his first Test innings as captain put his team in charge at Lord’s as England ended the day on 357-5

Related: Joe Root opens his captaincy with majestic hint of greater things to come | Barney Ronay

Related: Joe Root’s unbeaten 184 puts England on track after South Africa make inroads

87th over: England 357-5 (Root 184, Moeen Ali 61) That’s the end of an almost perfect first day as an England captain for Joe Root. He will resume tomorrow on 184 with England in charge after recovering admirably from 76 for four. Thanks for your company; bye!

86th over: England 354-5 (Root 182, Moeen Ali 60) I suspect it will be many a year before we see Joe Root batting anywhere other than No4; he clatters Philander to the extra-cover boundary to move to 181. Since tea he has been almost entirely brilliant.

“G’day Rob, just got out of a wood-fired hot tub in a vineyard in Montepulciano, Italy, to check the score,” says George Grundy, constructing another unique sentence in the history of mankind. “Good old Rooter! My dad’s at Lords today and will be bare-headed, sunburned, full of sauce and happy as a pig in swill at the way things have worked out today. The Saffas are in big trouble batting fourth. Trebles all round!”

85th over: England 345-5 (Root 177, Moeen Ali 57) Too wide from Rabada, and Moeen flashes him through backward point for four. Rabada (22-4-91-1) has not had his finest day. The team batting first has won 13 and lost one of the last 20 Tests at Lord’s, and this looks increasingly like a really good toss to win.

84th over: England 340-5 (Root 177, Moeen Ali 53) A single from Moeen off Philander brings up an outstanding 150 partnership for the sixth wicket from just 177 deliveries. Waugh and Gilchrist couldn’t have done it better. An inside-edge saves Root from being LBW to Philander, who continues to bowl that challenging wicket-to-wicket line.

“The South African issue with no-balls has now become a comedy classic,” says Ian Copestake, “something along the lines of Morkel and wides.”

83rd over: England 339-5 (Root 177, Moeen Ali 52) Play will finish at 6.30, so we’ll lose overs despite the extra half-hour. At the moment, South Africa are the ones who will want to get off the field because Root is smashing the second new ball to all parts. He climbs into Rabada again, driving and pulling high-class boundaries. Since reaching his century Root has belted 77 from 67 balls to put England in a tremendous position.

82nd over: England 329-5 (Root 168, Moeen Ali 52) Vernon Philander returns to the attack. He’s only bowled 13 overs so should be pretty fresh, and his third delivery moves sharply off the seam to beat Moeen.

81st over: England 327-5 (Root 168, Moeen Ali 50) South Africa take the second new ball at the earliest opportunity. Rabada’s first ball is loose and slapped for four by Root; his second is a beauty that beats the attempted drive; and his sixth is clouted just over the man at cover for four more. This is turning into an epic innings from Root. The nicest thing about it is that, when people in Australia wake up tomorrow and look at the score, they will not be remotely surprised to see that Root made a huge hundred on his captaincy debut.

“Hi Rob,” says John Bowker. “surely if the no. 3 issue is unresolved after the summer then Root must move up a place (again) - maybe Bairstow too. That leaves space for a middle order batsman instead of the more crucial no. 3 - but who?”

80th over: England 319-5 (Root 160, Moeen Ali 50) Moeen scampers back for a second to reach an excellent fifty from 81 balls. He is very dangerous at No7, where he averages 95 as compared to 28 anywhere else. This has to be his role for the foreseeable future.

79th over: England 314-5 (Root 159, Moeen Ali 46) Moeen charges Maharaj and drags loosely into the leg-side for a single; Root then chips just short of extra cover. Maharaj has been so much better from this end, with the slope taking it away from the right-hander.

“Western civilisation is not at risk as long as we have Test cricket,” says John Starbuck. “When you think about it, that’s pretty much the definition.”

78th over: England 309-5 (Root 157, Moeen Ali 44) Bavuma has bowled well, particularly to Moeen. He has induced a couple of inside edges and now slips in a surprise bouncer that forces Moeen to take evasive action.

“As a solution to the No3 problem, is it possible that Hales could fill the gap?” says Matt Potter. “He’s clearly good enough, If unpredictable. Whereas I’m just not quite sure Ballance has the natural ability at the highest level.”

77th over: England 308-5 (Root 156, Moeen Ali 43) Maharaj has looked much better since changing ends. England will be encouraged by the no-ball that dismissed Root, because it roared past the edge. All things being equal, this pitch will take plenty of turn in the second half of the match.

“First thought was Simon Katich and then Kepler Wessels,” says Robert Taylor. “Shiv Chanderpaul is unorthodox but I always thought his technique had its charms.”

76th over: England 301-5 (Root 152, Moeen Ali 40) Root’s third fifty came from just 43 balls, which is great work both as batsman and captain. He has been determined to make hay before the second new ball shines.

“Hi Rob,” says Brian Withington. “Brian Close would take a lot of beating in the ugly lefty stakes - as he proved when being recalled (exhumed?) to face (chest?) the legendary WI pace attack in the 70s.”

75th over: England 297-5 (Root 150, Moeen Ali 38) Root drives the first ball of his second innings for a single to reach his 150. He breaks into a broad if slightly sheepish smile.

Oh my word. Maharaj deceived Root beautifully to have him stumped by de Kock, but replays showed a clear no-ball. For a spinner to bowl a no-ball at the best of times is pretty poor. For him to do so when dismissing Joe Root on 149 is a rare old shocker.

74th over: England 294-5 (Root 149, Moeen Ali 37) Bavuma is causing Moeen a few problems with his gentle inswing. Moeen inside-edges onto the pads and then digs out a good yorker later in the over.

“Hey, do I get a cheque for every mention of meta-pressure?” says Ian Copestake. “Before you know it it will have its own website, a line of clothing and be mentioned by Trump on Twitter.”

73rd over: England 292-5 (Root 148, Moeen Ali 36) Root continues to bully Maharaj, sweeping firmly for four more. This is smart, selfless and pretty darn brilliant batting. He has really targeted the weaker bowlers, scoring 73 from 67 balls off Maharaj, de Bruyn and Bavuma.

“Matthew Hayden,” says Charlie Mawer, “could surely never be described as elegant or graceful.”

72nd over: England 286-5 (Root 143, Moeen Ali 35) Dean Elgar is rotating the part-timers, with Temba Bavuma coming into the attack to replace de Bruyn. Moeen is almost suckered out, beaten as he chases a very wide delivery.

“You don’t want to look very far Rob,” says Sachin Paul. “I’ll suggest Gary Ballance as the one with the ugliest technique. Among others, here are some left (pun intended) choices - Andy Flower, Simon Katich. I’d suggest Chanderpaul but he made his crabbiness elegant in its own way.”

71st over: England 285-5 (Root 142, Moeen Ali 35) Maharaj has switched ends to replace Morke Mornel. Moeen tries to sweep a ball that turns and bounces sharply to hit him on the arm. Root demonstrates how to play the stroke, muscling the ball to the square-leg boundary. Since reaching his century Root has scored 42 from 33 deliveries; it’s been a clinic in how to attack before the second new ball.

“Ugliest lefties?” says Ian Copestake. “Ken Livingsto- I mean, ‘Slasher’ Mackay.” Good knowledge, Copestake!

It’s time for drinks. South Africa’s over-rate is such that they need to bowl 20 overs in 40 minutes to finish on time.

70th over: England 277-5 (Root 137, Moeen Ali 32) A low full toss from de Bruyn is flicked easily for four by Root. de Bruyn looks a pretty innocuous bowler, though that might put the England batsmen under a bit of meta-pressure. Two from the over.

“Everyone talks about the elegance of left-handers,” says Richard O’Hagan, “but who has had the ugliest technique among Test lefties? (Not counting Chris Schofield’s weird little back kick at the crease.)”

69th over: England 268-5 (Root 129, Moeen Ali 31) Root is beaten by a grubber from Morkel that, mercifully for England, was wide of off stump. This pitch could be a bit tricky on the last two days.

“I realise this is mere sartorial frippery in the face of Root’s great efforts but - if your pic at the top of the OBO is to be believed – how on earth does he manage to wear a sweater in the sweltering mess that London is today?” says Tim Stafford. “More importantly, why?”

68th over: England 267-5 (Root 129, Moeen Ali 30) Theunis de Bruyn replaces Maharaj. England have played the spinner Maharaj perfectly today - the odd big shot and lots of milking. He is supposed to give South Africa control; figures of 17-1-79-0 are out of control. And actually those figures flatter him, because he bowled his first three overs for four runs when England had shut up shop for lunch. Since then he has bowled 14-0-75-0.

Moeen drives de Bruyn sweetly for three, and then Root whacks two boundaries through midwicket. He is batting marvellously now.

67th over: England 255-5 (Root 120, Moeen Ali 27) Root is beaten outside off stump by a bit of trampolining nastiness from Morkel.

“If Ali does provoke a rash on Ian Copestake [Over 64],” says Anthony Pease, “I recommend an antihistamoeen.”

66th over: England 254-5 (Root 119, Moeen Ali 27) Root survives a chance off Maharaj. He launched into a sweep at Maharaj and toe-ended it into the grille of the keeper de Kock, who would have needed superhuman reactions to the take the catch. The ball deflected towards slip, where Elgar had already started to move in anticipation of a leg-side stroke. That said, the fact it hit the grille means it wouldn’t have been out had he been caught by Elgar.

The word on the street is that the Guardian website is working again. So, welcome back, and apologies for the technical problems. That said, it’s quite nice to do an OBO where the technical issues are real rather than euphemistic.

65th over: England 249-5 (Root 115, Moeen Ali 26) Philander’s LBW appeal is caught in the throat because of an inside-edge from Moeen. This, surely, is Moeen’s best position. His scoring rate and selflessness make him a perfect No7. He averages 91 when he bats there, as compared to 21 at No6 and 28 at No8.

“Hi Rob,” says Andre. “How would one describe the fact (in the statistic you mention in over 54) that three of the five centuries in first Tests as captain for England were scored by South Africans?”

64th over: England 245-5 (Root 114, Moeen Ali 23) Moeen faced Ashwin and Jadeja on dusty pitches in the winter, so Maharaj on day one at Lord’s is unlikely to disturb his equilibrium. He swaggers down the track to drive handsomely over wide mid-on for six four. Beautifully played.

“I am glad that before Moeen does something rash we have already had ‘gasmic Ali,” quivers Ian Copestake. “Those on the knee drives are probably practiced in the nets in front of a mirror.”

63rd over: England 238-5 (Root 114, Moeen Ali 16) Philander is back in place of Rabada. He has figures of 11-2-28-3 - he’s been the thriftiest bowler, and the most penetrative. A quiet over, two from it. I’m told my hapless strivings are even more futile than usual, because we have a technical problem on the website and the pages aren’t updating. Apologies for that. Not that you can read this apology.

“Hi Rob,” says Dixe Wills. “Currently sunning myself on an island in the Wadden Sea (breathless report of same coming to a Guardian Travel section near you soon) where the standard local greeting at any time of day is, ‘Moin!’ - pronounced ‘Moeen!’ Have been amusing myself today by pretending that everyone I meet simply can’t get enough of the England No7. Now a curious hush has fallen over the island and I’ve become a little apprehensive.”

62nd over: England 238-5 (Root 114, Moeen Ali 15) Root charges Maharaj and launches him down the ground for six. That, have some thereof. He laps four more later in the over. That has been a profitable shot; in fact he’s lapping Maharaj out of the attack.

This has been a terrific first day of the series - an even contest between bat and ball, with both sides on top at different stages and big players like Root and Philander excelling. Great stuff.

61st over: England 224-5 (Root 103, Moeen Ali 14) Moeen hooks Rabada in the air but well short of the lumbering Philander at deep backward square leg. You do worry about Moeen against the short ball in Australia. That’s the thing with Moeen: just when you are starting to write him off, he charms you afresh by lacing glorious cover-driven boundaries off consecutive deliveries. Beautiful.

“I’ll see your Justify Jim Love and raise you a Hanky Pankaj Singh,” says Gary Naylor, formulating a unique sentence in the history of mankind.

60th over: England 213-5 (Root 102, Moeen Ali 4) Moeen gets off the mark from his 17th delivery, sweeping Maharaj firmly round the corner for four.

“So what you’re saying is that Root is the fourth England captain IN A ROW to score a hundred on their captaincy debut?” says Peter Salmon. “What a very strange record.”

59.1 overs: England 209-5 (Root 102, Moeen Ali 0) There it is! Root laps Maharaj for three to reach a century in his first innings as Test captain. He clenches his fist, kisses the badge and swishes his bat to the dressing room. On reflection, it was stupid to expect anything else. Root is a great batsman, an expert in seizing initiatives on the opening day of a series, and has the performance-enhancing status of being captain for the first time. It’s been an innings of increasing authority.

59th over: England 206-5 (Root 99, Moeen Ali 0) Another single off Rabada takes Root to 99. Moeen, still on nought, inside-edges his 11th delivery safely on the leg side. Rabada is setting him up for the short ball here, with two men out.

58th over: England 205-5 (Root 98, Moeen Ali 0) A good over from Maharaj, who keeps Root waiting for his century.

“About Moeen, do you think he should be bumped up to No3 , Ballance to 5 and Bairstow to 7?” says Sachin Paul. “There’s something really unnatural about the way we line up now.”

57th over: England 204-5 (Root 97, Moeen Ali 0) Root softens his hands to guide consecutive deliveries from Rabada to the third-man boundary. A single takes him to within three of a century.

56th over: England 195-5 (Root 88, Moeen Ali 0) Root skips back in his crease to flash Maharaj through point for four. The Test captaincy has had a negative impact on many fine England batsmen in the last 30 years - but rarely in the first year in charge. Gooch, Atherton, Stewart, Hussain, Strauss, Pietersen and Cook were all inspired to bat brilliantly at first. The problem comes when the novelty wears off and the regularness of captaincy starts to drag you down. Or when you get sacked after a few months.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Robin Durie. “Peter Salmon’s Heideggerian musings got me wondering - might he, by any chance, be related to Christopher V Salmon, who studied with Husserl in Freiburg in the 1920s, & wrote a phenomenological dissertation on Hume’s treatise that was published in Husserl’s “Jahrbuch”?”

55th over: England 190-5 (Root 83, Moeen Ali 0) This is a big summer for Moeen Ali, who has been an odd-job man in this England team for too much of his Test career. Batting at No7 and being the second spinner is probably his best chance of nailing down a position. On Sky, Shaun Pollock apologises for “some of the language you might have heard after the dismissal took place”. It would not be outlandish to speculate that said language probably emerged from Ben Stokes’s mouth.

No, Ben. Ben, no. Stokes has gone, top-edging a hook off Rabada through to de Kock. It was a good bouncer, too high for Stokes to control the shot. He’s angry with himself, as he should be really. It’s a soft dismissal at a time when England were in control.

54th over: England 190-4 (Root 83, Stokes 56) Root laps Maharaj fine for four to move into the eighties. Since you asked, five England batsmen have scored centuries in their first Test as captain: Archie MacLaren, Allan Lamb, Andrew Strauss, Kevin Pietersen and Alastair Cook.

Meanwhile, here’s Simon McMahon on the subject of Madonna. “According to the gondolier, who’s a big cricket fan, the original title of the single that preceded Like A Virgin was Bodyline, but the video featuring a muscled Harold Larwood was deemed too obscene.”

53rd over: England 186-4 (Root 79, Stokes 56) Rabada starts after tea, bowling around the wicket to Stokes. He times a lovely back-foot drive through the covers for four, gets a bit giddy and misses an extravagant pull next day.

“The last time I snuck a peek from behind the settee (it’s actually an Italian leather divan with inset cup-holders) England were in a huge hole, and now I look again and they are out of the hole and looking down another hole which the Saffers are staring out of,” says Ian Copestake. “Test cricket!”

“Just a quick note to point out that, during this innings, young Master Stokes has hit that essential stat for an allrounder, in that his batting average (34.89) has crept over his bowling average (34.46),” says Keiran Betteley. “But just to keep us on the edge of our seats a little while longer, he needs another 11 runs (by my fag packet calculations) in this innings to keep it that way when (if?) he gets out. Stay on the edge of your seat...”

Handover time again. England won that session, easing their way back into the match with some quietly - and occasionally assertively - authoritative batting from Root and Stokes, who is reminding us that he is a magnificently correct and technical Test match batsman as well as a T20 megastar (in other parts of the world). I’ll hand you back to Rob now who, thanks to these lethargic over-rates, has 38 (count ’em!) overs to describe for you, during which England could conceivably go a long way to building a formidable total, or they could fold hopelessly at the loss of a wicket. Thanks for your company and emails. Bye.

52nd over: England 182-4 (Root 79, Stokes 52) Now Stokes does reach 50, with a standard-issue clip off his toes on the legside for two off De Bruyn. A single and an aggressively-run two complete the over. Root takes a slight knock on the quad which he emotes over sufficiently to see the clock past 3.40, and that’s tea. “Could I just say that Peter Salmon’s recent interjection [Salmon, P.; Over 46] is precisely the reason I read this OBO. But I imagine he knew that already,” smiles Anthony Pease.

51st over: England 177-4 (Root 77, Stokes 49) Root rings in the 100 partnership with another flick through the legside, for two - that’s been a profitable area for him today. Morkel comes back with a lovely outswinger past Root’s dangled bat. Maybe time for two more overs before tea, but you wouldn’t bet heavily on it.

50th over: England 175-4 (Root 75, Stokes 49) “There’s a lot of guff talked about slow over rates,” roars Robin Hobbs. “My arguments as follows; 1. As opposed to the good old days when batsmen patted back spinners all day long, nowadays there are more quick bowlers with longer run-ups, plus the ball disappears to the boundary a lot more often. Generally cricket is felt to be more entertaining as a result. You can’t have it both ways. 2. Remove drinks breaks (unless it really is scorchingly hot). They’re professional sportsmen, and should be able to handle 2 hours without a drink (and anyway the fielders can always take one on the boundary).” De Bruyn sends down a tidy maiden to leave Stokes still one short of his half-century.

49th over: England 175-4 (Root 75, Stokes 49) Roots punishes a stray one from Morkel with an easily clipped two before failing inelegantly to punish another, hacking and missing outside off-stump. Two more on the onside follow before Morkel moves one off the seam smartly past Root’s outside edge.

@tomdaviesE17 With his overstepping and fielding, poor old Morne starts every innings on 0-0-20-0.

48th over: England 171-4 (Root 71, Stokes 49) A new bowler, De Bruyn, comes in to send down his medium-quicks. Stokes treats them with respect, and has to dig out a decent attempted inswinging yorker, before Stokes gets four off a similar delivery, which he turns round the corner and gets four as Morkel can’t stop it without fumbling it over the line. The ground’s scoreboard says that’s his 50 but we know better (we think) - he’s on 49.

47th over: England 167-4 (Root 71, Stokes 45) Philander is withdrawn from the attack; I guess there’s only so many overs you can do on the bounce in this heat (I found just going into the kitchen to do the washing up at lunchtime earlier a herculean struggle). Back comes Morkel, whose first ball is punched through extra-cover for a single by Root. And then - A MASSIVE LET OFF! Stokes plays on after being beaten for pace by a beauty that cut him in two, but it’s CALLED NO-BALL. Worse still, it ricochets off the stumps and goes to the fence. He’s a lucky boy is Stokes, and South Africa’s sloppy over-stepping is costing them. A single and a late cut for four from Root complete a truly exasperating over for South Africa.

“Disappointed by Brian Withington ascribing Cook’s dismissal to ‘just nicking it’ [Withington contra Copestake, over 42],” bellyaches Peter Salmon. “Everything that happens on a cricket field takes place has , of course, always already happened, and is, at any given moment, an absolute and unique ‘coming into Being’ of the latent possibilities inherent on the play of possible worlds. Cook could not, therefore, have done anything else but ‘nick it’, given the situation in which he found himself - to quote Heidegger - ‘thrown’. So yes, it is a simple game, but I think we need to unpack what we mean by ‘simple’.”

46th over: England 156-4 (Root 66, Stokes 44) Stokes sweeps Maharaj forcefully to deep square leg for a gently ambled single, and Root pushes off the back foot for one more before Stokes ups the tempo with another sweep that this time beats the onrushing fielder and goes for four. In defence of these ponderous over rates, I suppose it is horribly, disgustingly hot out there.

45th over: England 150-4 (Root 65, Stokes 39) We’re in a sort of middle-overs meander stage here, with Lord’s, as it so often does on day one, echoing more to the contented burble of agreeable lunches being washed down rather than anything that might be called a cricket-enrapt atmosphere. Philander sends down another demanding, accurate maiden to which Root is dutiful and defensive.

44th over: England 150-4 (Root 65, Stokes 39) Maharaj finds some quite exaggerated turn, bringing one back in out of some nascent rough, but it’s nowhere near the stumps or Stokes’s bat. Stokes pushes down the ground for a leisurely single before another well-placed back-foot punch by Root square on the offside brings three – it would have been four but for a good diving save on the boundary rope by Bavuma. This over-rate is desperate, even with the spinner on.

43rd over: England 146-4 (Root 62, Stokes 38) Much commentariat consternation at the DRS rule anomaly that South Africa wouldn’t have lost a review had that Rabada delivery been called a no-ball, but as it wasn’t, they do. A misfield from Rabada, letting it through his legs, brings the only run of the over from Philander, who’s keeping England’s momentum in check.

42nd over: England 145-4 (Root 62, Stokes 37) Root shuffles forward smartly to meet Maharaj’s ball on the full and send it skidding to the deep midwicket boundary. Five from the over in all. “Loved Ian Copestake’s meta analysis (over 32) of Cook’s dismissal as being due to the loss of captaincy pressure,” yelps Brian Withington. “Whilst Nasser suggested that it was because the man is in too good form this season (producing an uncharacteristic surfeit of confidence). At a more humble level I thought he just nicked one.” It’s a simple game.

41st over: England 140-4 (Root 58, Stokes 36) South Africa’s man o’ the day, Vernon Philander, returns. Stokes takes a single but isn’t going to take him on. It’s still good, tight wicket-to-wicket stuff landing in the corridor of angst.

“I’m not too sure about Madonna’s motives for Justify Jim Love (38th over),” suggests Anthony Pease, “but I think we should all take a second to appreciate the remarkable prescience of Rupert Holmes when he included the lines ‘If you’re Kagiso Rabada,Or maybe Theunis de Bruyn’ in one chorus of his Piña Colada song. That was written in 1979. I’m not a superstitious person, but that man should be burned as a witch.”

40th over: England 139-4 (Root 58, Stokes 35) We could be in for a long old evening session if this over-rate continues, even with Maharaj twirling away at one end. Here he keeps Stokes honest with one pushed through straight and quicker, before conceding a single with a legside nudge before Root threads a deliciously timed push on the offside through the gaps for four up the slope.

39th over: England 134-4 (Root 54, Stokes 34) Welcome back everyone. Stokes, especially, and Root seemed to have got into the groove somewhat since I was last with you, and the conditions have become more innocuous for bowlers. Easy life being a middle-order batsman innit?

Third umpires just making things up as they go along always bodes well for later banter. Good signs.

They are taking drinks after that review, so I’ll hand you over to Tom Davies until tea.

Yes, he missed it by a mile. There would have been controversy had he hit it, because Rabada seemed to overstep yet the third umpire did not deem it to be a no-ball.

39th over: England 134-4 (Root 54, Stokes 34) The boos ring round Lord’s as Joe Root works Rabada for a single to reach an important half-century from 89 balls. He has not been at his best, though in many ways that makes it a more impressive innings. A very smooth swivel-pull beats the man at fine leg to give him his eighth boundary. One thing you would expect Root to improve as captain is a poor conversion rate: he now has 28 fifties and 11 hundreds. Captains tend to deal in big hundreds. Ah, now there’s a review against Root! He tried to pull Rabada again, and the ball ended up in the hands of slip. It seemed to be off the helmet but South Africa have gone for a tactical review.

38th over: England 128-4 (Root 49, Stokes 32) Maharaj now has a long on in place for Stokes, who is content to push a safe single down the ground. Another single for Root takes him to 49.

“Interesting point about Madonna, Rob,” lies Phil Sawyer. “Like a Virgin was released in October 1984, so we can be reasonably certain that she was tuning in to the West Indies utter humiliation of England earlier in the summer during the video shoot. Given how the England bats fared when faced with that attack of Marshall, Holding , Garner and Baptiste, perhaps Like a Bunny would have been a more appropriate title?”

37th over: England 126-4 (Root 48, Stokes 32) A single from Stokes off Rabada brings up an important fifty partnership. Batting looks a lot more comfortable than it did this morning, even if Root isn’t at his fluent best.

36th over: England 125-4 (Root 48, Stokes 31) Stokes launches Maharaj down the ground again. This time he doesn’t quite get hold of it and it lands just in front of Duminy, charging towards the long-on boundary. He can’t take the catch or stop the boundary, though it was a good effort.

“Whilst we’re discussing England’s batting frailties, we ought not to lose sight of the fact that South Africa aren’t exactly stacked with top-quality batsmen, either,” says Richard O’Hagan Look at that side from 14 (eek!) years ago and only Amla of the current lot would get into it.” That’s true, though du Plessis would get in as well when he returns. That 2003 series was so much fun, a bit of a forgotten classic.

35th over: England 120-4 (Root 48, Stokes 26) Rabada hasn’t been at his formidable best today. It might be a slope thing; that said, he bowled superbly here in the ODI earlier in the summer. A quiet over, one from it.

“That Madonna thing sounds a bit like the moon landing,” says Steve Hudson. “Apparently they had to have several takes of the ‘one small step for man’ shot because Neil Armstrong kept asking Mission Control if Brian Luckhurst was off the mark yet.”

34th over: England 118-4 (Root 48, Stokes 25) The spinner Maharaj replaces Morkel. Stokes states his intent by charging the second ball to drive a delightful straight six. Stokes’s capacity for destruction sometimes obscures what a beautiful-looking batsman he is, particularly when he hits straight.

“Rob!” sniffs Paul Tooby. “ You’re just the man I hoped to see on duty this afternoon, although I hadn’t hoped to see four down already. I rather hope that you and many of your readers will enjoy my recent trio of blog posts. It’s a sort of overview of Test cricket history up until 11am this morning, built around hypothetical team lists. It’s Statsguru in prose form, if you like; catnip to OBOers, with any luck. Here you are.”

33rd over: England 111-4 (Root 48, Stokes 18) Root and Stokes have played with impressive authority since lunch. The false strokes have been isolated and Stokes in particular has played some fine attacking shots. You have permission to be tentatively hopeful, is what I’m saying.

“Is Ballance the batting equivalent of Hull City, too good for the County Championship but not good enough for Test cricket, so destined to yo-yo between the levels as the football club have flitted in and out of the Premier League?” says David Wall. “I suppose there are worse places to be than Hull, but perhaps he could do a West Brom and stabilise at the higher level with the right guidance. Does anyone know if Tony Pulis can coach a forward defensive?”

32nd over: England 108-4 (Root 46, Stokes 17) Stokes demonstrates his enormous class with a princely straight drive for four off Morkel. He played that shot a fair bit during that remarkable maiden Test century at Perth in 2013-14. It’s going to be all kinds of fun watching him get feisty in Australia again, at least until England go 2-0 down after two Tests.

“Cook’s dismissal revealed a new layer to the ever unpeeling onion of modern psychology, that of feeling the pressure of being unburdened from the burden of captaincy,” says Ian Copestake. “It’s what I like to call meta-pressure, but what older relatives call the inevitable result of no longer having to do national service.”

31st over: England 102-4 (Root 45, Stokes 12) Stokes reaches for a very wide half-volley from Rabada, edging it through the vacant third slip area for four. It might have been too high to catch anyway but it was a loose stroke. He has looked good apart from that, very certain in defence.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “I don’t normally get to do the exotic travelogue email thing, but I’m currently following the OBO from a gondola on the Grand Canal in Venice. Apparently there are things to see here, but well, you know, it’s the first day of the English Test summer and all that. A man’s got to have his priorities right. Right?”

30th over: England 98-4 (Root 45, Stokes 8) Root is turned round by Morkel and gets a leading edge into the off side. He and Stokes should, in theory, make a for successful, complementary partnership. Their record together isn’t that great, though they did put on a thrilling stand of 161 here two years ago to kickstart the new age of English Test cricket. This partnership feels so important, even at this early stage of the game. Root moves to within five of a half-century by forcing Morkel through backward point for four.

29th over: England 94-4 (Root 41, Stokes 8) Rabada goes around the wicket to Stokes, who muscles a superb back-foot drive through extra cover for four. Rabada and Morkel both played when Stokes smashed that astonishing 258 at Cape Town in the last series between the sides.

28th over: England 90-4 (Root 41, Stokes 4) Morkel slips another straightener past Root’s outside edge. He’s been beaten a lot outside off stump today, although that’s more down the quality of the bowling than anything else.

“Point taken about Ballance, for me it’s more the manner in which he bats,” says James Tyldesley. “His inability to ever get on top of the bowling makes him a walking wicket. Granted his average is better than Stokes and Mooen, but at least they inspire you to want to watch them bat. Coming in at No3, Ballance shifts the entire balance (pun not necessarily intended, I really couldn’t think of another word) in the bowling team’s favour. Their either going to get him out, or be in a very similar position about 25 overs down the line. Root coming in at 3 allows England to counter punch and gives the bowlers something to think about. In the age of T20, ODI supremacy, Cook batting with Ballance is a Test match naysayers dream.”

27th over: England 88-4 (Root 39, Stokes 4) Kagiso Rabada starts from the other end. He’ll be especially keen to bowl here, as he is not particularly fond of Root or Stokes. He starts with a competent maiden to Stokes.

26th over: England 88-4 (Root 39, Stokes 4) Morkel starts after lunch, beating Root with a beautiful delivery that straightens off the pitch. Root responds with an efficient flick to the square-leg boundary. It’s usually a huge advantage to bat first at Lord’s, so England need to stay in the game for as long as possible. They would have wanted 450 this morning but even 300 would keep them in the match. What they can’t do is repeat Michael Vaughan’s first morning as Test captain.

“Hi Rob,” says Gary Naylor. “An interesting morning for those interested in how aggression has changed in Test cricket. Forty or so years ago, manifest aggression came from the bowlers with their bumpers and bouncers and the occasional whispered threat to ‘go round the wicket and...’, well, you know the quote. Nowadays, it comes from the batsmen, going hard at the ball with sleeper-sized lumps of wood as light as a Potterish wand. But bowlers can still be aggressive too, working on the egos, giving nothing on the legs, “You-miss-I-hit”-ing until the batsmen is well and truly frazzled. Rabada and Philander seem particularly adept at this new bowling aggression and England’s macho men are being found out.”

“Ballance musings,” says James Tyldesley. “He’s awful. Absolutely awful. Even when he’s good he’s awful.”

He’s the second highest scorer in the innings and his Test average is higher than those of Stokes and Moeen. But yes, it’s hard to see him succeeding as a Test No3, particularly when two of the next three series are against the pace attacks of South Africa and Australia. I feel sorry for him though; he’s a bit of a lightning rod. There are bigger problems in this batting unit than Ballance.

Hello folks. Vernon Philander is the innocuous bogeyman of world cricket. He may bowl at around 80mph but he’s a crafty new-ball expert who interrogates the batsmen with his relentless wicket-to-wicket line. His average of 22.14 is the best of any current Test bowler with at least 20 wickets. This morning he bowled wicket to wicket to wicket, taking three for 24 - including the huge wicket of Jonny Bairstow just before lunch - to leave England in a bit of bother at 82 for four.

Joe Root, who seemed incredibly nervous when he was interviewed at the etoss, made a slightly streaky 33 not out. As ever, the England captain is heavily depending on Root’s runs; it just happens he’s the captain now.

So that was South Africa’s morning - they lost the toss but found the requisite pace, bounce, line and length to peg back England, who’ve never really got on top at any point, their progress punctuated by regular losses of wickets, with unconvincing shots (and DRS decisions) to the fore. And not for the first time England are looking to Root and Stokes to get them going. It’s a salivating prospect, and Rob Smyth will feed you until the middle of the next session. Laters, y’all.

25th over: England 82-4 (Root 33, Stokes 4). Philander discomforts England again, bringing one back into Root and striking him awkwardly on the thigh. He’s been tremendous. Root clips a single to mid-on to put Stokes on strike with two balls of the session remaining. Good probing bowling is then met with good correct defensive shots. And that’s lunch.

24th over: England 81-4 (Root 32, Stokes 4). Root unearths his inner Jonathan Trott and strategically delays Maharaj with shufflings, adjustings and generally anything he can do to make this the last over before lunch. Maharaj responds by rushing through the over as quick as he can. A deft low sweep for one aids Root’s plans, which is cue for more exaggerated pitch-prodding, but South Africa are taking their time in the field too, switching things round mid-over. But there’s time for one more over.

23rd over: England 80-4 (Root 31, Stokes 4). Philander finds some more aesthetically pleasing movement away from Bairstow, but then dismisses him with a faster one that arrows into his pads – he’s trapped on the crease and looks bang to rights. And yet replays show it might have been too high. Which means we have Stokes in before lunch, and he helps himself straight away to an appetising buffet ball from Philander, a half-tracker that he flicks away contemptuously for four.

“Afternoon Tom.” Afternoon Lee Smith. “As many a follower of the CountyLive! blog manned by the admirable Will Macpherson will attest to, this is now the time for Lanky inspired DOOM. Galoshes are currently being adorned ready for the Precipitation Shuffle, and someone somewhere in summertime is tuning up a ukulele!”

Philander has three. He beats Bairstow’s defence and nails him plumb in front. A mighty breakthrough just before lunch.

21st over: England 76-3 (Root 31, Bairstow 10). Bairstow makes room for himself to cut a slightly shorter Maharaj ball away for a swift single, and Root adds another after deft footwork helps him drive to mid-on. It’s the second of three urgently scurried ones before Maharaj pushes a quicker arm ball in at Bairstow, who inside-edges behind unconvincingly.

21st over: England 73-3 (Root 30, Bairstow 8). Philander, excellent earlier, also switches end and has a go from the Nursery/contentious-planning-issue End, which you’d think would suit his fuller length and movement away from the right-hander off the seam. Root’s duly cautious against it, and waits for a more wayward delivery, which arrives when Philander strays into his pads, which he flicks away elegantly through midwicket for his fifth boundary. Root just accumulates fours even when you don’t think he’s being particularly expansive.

20th over: England 69-3 (Root 26, Bairstow 8). The first change of pace. The left-arm spinner Keshav Maharaj gets his first bowl in his eighth Test. He’s round the wicket from the pavilion end at Bairstow, who toe-ends a misjudged sweep and it just dribbles out to the man at short leg. Shane Warne in the commentary box reckons Maharaj should have been given the nursery end, but he begins with a maiden nonetheless. Tidy and tight, if not extracting great turn.

19th over: England 69-3 (Root 26, Bairstow 8). Rabada overpitches and Root cashes in, clipping firmly through midwicket for four. It’s the only scoring shot of an otherwise decent over though. “England not giving enough respect to the SA bowlers nor to a pitch that has a bit in it. Confidence bleeding into arrogance,” blasts Gary Naylor. Indeed. That, and England still just not looking sure of themselves in general at the top of the order. Plenty of work still to be done.

18th over: England 65-3 (Root 22, Bairstow 8). Root’s edge is found again, by Morkel, but this one bounces before being fumbled in the slips at the cost of one run. Morkel continues to bang it in though and South Africa continue to have their tails up.

“So I was going to add to the classical music shenanigans but my Orkestra pun would doubtless lead to both brave Ork warriors throwing away their wickets and I couldn’t live with that guilt...” writes Andy Wilson. This correspondence is perilously/reassuringly close to being closed.

17th over: England 64-3 (Root 21, Bairstow 8). Two of Root’s boundaries this morning have been distinctly fortunate – this one follows a loose drive that is edged swiftly to and through JP Duminy in the slips, the fielder able only to parry it to the ropes. A well-scampered single of just the sort England need follows before Rabada also finds Bairstow’s edge, but he’s on top of it more and it bounces before reaching Duminy.

“Oh how cruelly predictable that a review would be squandered on behalf of “bang to rights” Ballance after the denial of “framed up” Jennings,” thunders Brian Withington. “I trust no-one will suggest any conscious selfishness on the part of GB! I can just imagine how another Yorkshireman batsman of yore would have approached the issue of DRS use ...”

16th over: England 59-3 (Root 16, Bairstow 8). I’m wondering whether I might have fancied a bowl on this had I won the toss (not that you’d want me anywhere near the team). Morkel’s finding bounce and movement here. Root glances a fuller ball away for a single though before Bairstow is beaten by a jaffer that jags away off the seam. The comeback shot is excellent though, a rasping square cut for four.

Yorkshire need to #digin here...

15th over: England 54-3 (Root 15, Bairstow 4). A misfield brings Root the single that takes England to 50 but they are in real bother here. Rabada demonstrates the point by zipping an outswinger past the new man Bairstow’s outside edge – his best ball so far. A low-ish inswinger also asks questions but Bairstow fends away defensively before a well-timed late nudge past the slips goes for four and gets him off the mark.

14th over: England 49-3 (Root 14, Bairstow 0). Root cuts and misses outside off from Morkel - there was plenty of pace and menace in the delivery but he should have done better with that – before a regulation push through the offside brings him a single. Morkel continues to find some zest and bounce from this surface, but it’s a length ball, speared in at Ballance, that does the trick, snaring the No3 after a review.

My OBO colleague Tim de Lisle is a demanding taskmaster:

.@tomdaviesE17 Plot thickens @HomeOfCricket. Ballance has to get 50 to repay Root's faith, and 50 more to atone for dud advice to Jennings

Ballance is struck in front. Morkel appeals. The finger goes up, and this time Ballance does review, for all the good it does him – ball-tracking shows it hitting between middle and leg, and England are three down.

And during this brief interlude, why not have a read of Ali Martin’s interview with Temba Bavuma:

Related: Temba Bavuma dreams of the day when colour is no issue for South Africa

13th over: England 48-2 (Ballance 20, Root 13). Rabada’s radar hasn’t been completely consistent so far, but he doesn’t give Ballance too much from which he can score, so he doesn’t. And that’s drinks.

More so-called classical music humour: “Would Matthew Haydn get a big score, or would he be Chopin on?” bellows Andrew Miles.

12th over: England 48-2 (Ballance 20, Root 13). Morkel switches ends, returning at the Pavilion End from where he can use the slope away from the lefties and into the righties. He’s round the wicket at Ballance, who beautifully smites a full one outside off through the covers for four. Morkel’s comeback ball is speared into the top of Ballance’s pads and sparks a Billy no-mates appeal - the bowler fancies it but no one else does. A legside flick for two ensues and three more complete a productive over.

“To Michael McCarthy,” writes Helena Chadd and no other pedants, “Handel was not a German: he became a naturalised Englishman. Indeed he would have qualified to play for England.” Will that put a stop to the punnery? My mailbox suggests not.

11th over: England 38-2 (Ballance 11, Root 12). A let-off boundary for Root! Rabada tries out a shorter one at him and the England captain top-edges an unconvincing hook shot and it just – just! -clears the fielder at deep square leg, Morkel. A better shot - an assertive punch square on the offside – then brings him three.

John Starbuck gets inside my head and coheres the following thoughts: “The reason why DRS was resisted for so long in the first place was a desire not to be seen questioning the authority of umpires, which might itself undermine the integrity of the game. It took a while for such attitudes to change - they may have been right to do so - but a third umpire heavily and constantly involved in DRS options would certainly slow down play even more. Don’t look for such a change until well into the next decade, when, one hopes, the technology will have improved more.”

9th over: England 31-2 (Ballance 11, Root 5). At last: meaty cover drives - Ballance meets a slightly overpitched delivery outside off with a pleasing two and follows it up by creaming one with precision timing through the covers for four. In between those shots he’s cut in half by an absolute pearler that jags away off the scrambled seam.

“Sorry I’m bored,” confesses Chris Bull. “For what it’s worth.. Root vs Flower, Tudor Vs Stewart, Read Vs Wright, Bishop Vs Pope, Plunkett Vs McClean(Nixon) , Lambert(Clayton) Vs Butler, Mills Vs Boon, Reeve Vs Alderman...help me, make it stop.” I gladly can and gladly will if you want.

9th over: England 24-2 (Ballance 5, Root 5). Root is watchful to Rabada outside off-stump, and when he does attempt a square cut, he lacks for room and is beaten for pace and accuracy. He’s unable or unwilling to cut loose just yet, but he’s up against some pretty decent bowling. Another maiden.

“If the review system is there to correct obvious errors then why doesn’t the third umpire simply say ‘That wasn’t out’ like in rugby - try or no try,” writes Steve Ditchburn. “Why limit the reviews to the batting or bowling side if the main aim is to get rid of errors?” I’m not completely sure I agree. I think there’s a tendency to “over-medicalise” top-level sport through calling for technology and extra adjudication for every small thing. I think the balance between human judgment and technical accuracy is about right now.

8th over: England 24-2 (Ballance 5, Root 5). Philander continues - he’s enjoying this new ball, this slope, and this chance to ask questions of left-handers – and keeps Ballance on the defensive with his nice varieties. A maiden.

I'm looking right down the pitch and I'm amazed that England did not review that LBW. Looked to have pitched well outside leg @tomdaviesE17

7th over: England 24-2 (Ballance 5, Root 5). Rabada is the first bowling change, replacing Morkel at the nursery end, the same end from which he wrought some havoc in the ODI here earlier in the summer. Him v Root should be a proper contest, and the England captain strikes an early blow with a clever upper cut over the slips for four. Then we see the first one that keeps a bit low, Root grubbing and missing outside off

“How did the German baroque composer get out?” quips the here-all-week Mike McCarthy. “He Handel-ed the ball.”

6th over: England 20-2 (Ballance 5, Root 1). Philander strikes again, dismissing Jennings with an inswinger that ball-tracker shows to have pitched fractionally outside leg, yet the batsmen decide against a review. Ooh, that looks a trick missed. And it means England are in trouble here. Root gets a hearty chorus of “Roooooot!” as he comes out and his first ball as captain is clipped confidently away for one. Ballance adds another single, and England need a bit of a Yorkshire rescue act now from this pair. It’s fine, probing, weakness-identifying bowling from Philander though.

Philander snares a left-hander again, bringing one into Jennings, hitting him in front of leg stump. They confer long and hard about a review, but opt not to, surprisingly. That didn’t look completely plumb on first look.

5th over: England 17-1 (Jennings 8, Ballance 3). Morkel is round the wicket and a little fuller, though still pretty damn quick, at Ballance, who’s defensively orthodox, and sees out a maiden. “Regarding Matthew Doherty’s 3rd over missive, there’s a classical composer pun run in here, I think,” writes Sean Clayton, not at all stretching the day’s first attempted running gag to a swift early breaking point, “How about Sir Vivaldi Richards for starters …with the team managed by (Ali) Bach(er), I presume.”

4th over: England 17-1 (Jennings 8, Ballance 3). Philander takes full advantage of Cook’s early unease, finding his edge as he slants it down the slope and moves it off the pitch, but Cook didn’t get his feet to the pitch of that at all. It gives Ballance an early introduction – this is going to be a trying period for he and Jennings - and he too is tested outside off-stump by Philander’s outswinger, playing and missing at his third ball before getting off the mark with a dab through backward point for three.

Cook fishes outside off and nicks through to De Kock behind the stumps. Regulation stuff really, and surprisingly uncomfortable, tentative batting from a man who’s been swimming in runs all summer.

3rd over: England 14-0 (Cook 3, Jennings 8). Jennings is off the mark with a four, artfully fending off another short sharp delivery and seeing it zip down to the fine-leg boundary. Rather less artful is his subsequent shot, a footwork-free stretch at a wide full one outside off-stump that he plays and misses. He atones though with another four, a well-timed flick through midwicket. No run has been scored on the offside yet, wagon-wheel fans.

“Can I be the millionth person to say why can’t it be Strauss Vs Elgar?” asks Matthew Doherty. No you can’t Matthew, you can be the first. We don’t get a classical crowd in here, evidently.

2nd over: England 5-0 (Cook 3, Jennings 0). Philander gets the new ball at the Pavilion End, and looks to test Cook on the drive with his fuller-length deliveries. Three dots precede a no-ball, the first of two in this over, before Cook clips an inswinger down to deep square leg for two. It’s upwards of 26 degrees out there and cracks are visible in the pitch already.

1st over: England 1-0 (Cook 1, Jennings 0). Morkel opens up from the Nursery End, and he starts with a bit of a snorter slanted across Cook at upper-chest level that the left-hander tentatively gets out of the away of. A clip on the legside for a single secures Alastair Cook’s first post-captaincy run. Morkel switches to round the wicket at Jennings, who begins his Test summer with a couple of well-judged leaves.

Ian Copestake’s mask of sanity threatens to be a thing today, already. “Morning Tom,” writes John Starbuck. “Can you persuade Ian Copestake to give us updates on his manic fielding positions as there match progresses, please? We’ll know it’s really gone wrong when he appears at deep third man.”

Oh, and don’t forget to dip into Will’s county live blog as and when:

Related: County cricket: Surrey v Hampshire and more – live!

One more missive before we start, a plug from our mate Joe Neate: “Once again a motley group of part-time OBO readers are heading off for our fifth year on a couple of jaunts to play cricket, one in Brighton in mid-August, and then across in Italy in mid-September. You can read about our previous exploits here - http://oboccasionals.weebly.com/ - and if you’re interested in turning out for us, any and all abilities are absolutely welcome. We also welcome umpires, scorers, spectators or people just want to ride a Vespa around a provincial Italian town. If you’re interested in either trip, drop me a mail at joe.neate@gmail.com

“Oh, and we’re also looking for a third team to join us for the Italy weekend, in case there was a touring team out there looking for a fun weekend. The tours are always AMAZING fun. It’s a great group of people, all games are played in the right spirit, and we always fit in a smidgen of something culture-y, as befitting a group of Guardian readers. It’s not all cricket and gin and tonics. Honest. Anyway, give it a go, you won’t regret it!”

Some emails from you the public, before we get underway, starting with Mike Daniels: “Can I give a shout out today to Tony (Tiny) Allom (Son of Maurice) who will be attending this Test? It’s probably going to be his last due to ill-health. A wonderful man who has a treasure trove of Cricket stories/memories. Was even on Peter May’s stag night and held the record at one stage of being the tallest ever first-class Cricketer. Enjoy, Tony.” Enjoy indeed.

“Funny team England have got,” sniffs Chris Evans. “Really think Rashid did enough to get a home series when he could be an attacking threat, especially at the tail. The late start to the season has done for Has as well. He was brilliant in the winter but has had too many opportunities to play himself out of form. A usual May start to the tests would have seen him in the team I’m sure.” I’d have liked to see Rashid get a decent run in home Tests too. And Chris contines: “In bigger cricket news though, my son, through a variety a drop outs has been vaulted from his under 11 3rds to making his first team debut tonight. Apart from block the straight ones and whack the wide ones I’ve told him just to enjoy himself. He’s a leggie as well but as he’s only 9 he can struggle to get it to the other end at times! Test careers have to start somewhere though.”

England (as already known): Cook, Jennings, Ballance, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Ali, Dawson, Broad, Wood, Anderson

South Africa: Elgar, Kuhn, Amla, Duminy, Bavuma, De Bruyn, De Kock, Maharaj, Rabada, Morkel, Philander.

Root reckons the pitch looks good but might deteriorate as the game goes on; he doesn’t hesitate to opt to bat. Elgar says “he’s extremely proud, extremely excited” about leading his team.

Some pre-match chat on Sky with Joe Root, who looks characteristically relaxed, not least on the subject of the team selection, about which he assures us that County Championship run machine Garry Ballance is “looking a completely different player” from the wobbly No3 of his most recent England appearances. He also unfurls a rather unconvincing Bob Willis impression. Banter! While out among the pundits, Nasser Hussain reckons there’s a bit of green on the pitch and it won’t be an easy toss to win. And that the Weather Boffins suggest thunderstorms may miss Lord’s today.

Annual recycling of this tweet https://t.co/Xi4u8IHwDv

Pre-match reading. Immerse yourself in the golden summer of 1998 – a world away now, in many ways – with Smyth’s compelling look back at England’s epic, and tetchy, series win:

Related: ‘The nastiest match I ever played in’: England v South Africa, Headingley 1998 | Rob Smyth

Morning everyone. To the apparently dwindling band of us who set our summer rhythms by Test match schedules, these are disorientating times. Here we are, the nights drawing in (hold that thought), well into Wimbledon, with the new football fixtures out, and we’ve still not had any Test cricket in England this year. But at last, today, it’s back! And for all that we’re assailed daily with reports that Ben Stokes or Joe Root are now less likely to be recognised in a supermarket than the south-east under-21 mixed martial digital keepy-uppy online show-off champion 2016 or whatever, we can and must salute the five-day game’s return.

Test cricket remains the finest sport available to humanity, and its underexposure and short-sighted administration in recent times is society’s crime, not ours. And it’s back! And not just for any old series either. Series against South Africa have consistently been the most compelling and close-fought of any England have faced in the past few decades. From Devon Malcom’s Oval carnage in 1994, to Atherton staring down gloriously undiluted aggression in Johannesburg and Nottingham in 95 and 98, through the 2-2 draw in 2003 (one of the great forgotten Test series – who now salutes the decisive roles played by James Kirtley and Martin Bicknell?), Hoggard’s seven-for at the Wanderers, Smith forcing teary resignations out of Nasser and Vaughan, Collingwood and Onions digging in in 2010, Amla’s triple-century two years later, to Ben Stokes’s beautifully brutal Cape Town assault … I could go on. Encounters between these two are overloaded with great memories.

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England v South Africa: first Test, day two – as it happened

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Stuart Broad scored a half-century as England’s tail dragged their total up to 458, then took two wickets as South Africa ended the day on 214-5, still 244 runs behind

And that’s all from me. It’s been an intriguing day, and the Test is in an intriguing place, albeit a place that’s significantly more encouraging for England at the moment than for the tourists. Still, all to play for – we’ll be back for more tomorrow. Bye!

Related: Moeen Ali and Stuart Broad put South Africa’s Lord’s record under threat

Moeen Ali does some talking:

I feel very grateful and blessed to be in those stats (2000 runs & 100 wickets). If someone told me I was going to have these stats I’d have bitten their hand off. There’s been loads of ups and downs. I’ll still have bad days, I’m still inconsistent, but I’m happy with the way I bowled today. I’ve probably bowled a bit safe the last year or so, and today’s the first day I went back to an attacking mindset. It’s nice for Lord’s to be spinning like this. We’ve got a lot of bowling to do still.

And that is the end of day two! It’s been a fine day for England, but they still have some work to do. On the plus side, the pitch is threatening imminent disintegration, and this still looks like an excellent toss to have won.

68th over: South Africa 214-5 (Bavuma 48, Rabada 9)Bavuma takes two balls over his single this time, and Moeen has four deliveries to deal with Rabada. There’s a slip, a leg slip, a short leg and a silly point, but none of them are given any work to do. Rabada eventually works the ball to Broad at midwicket, who flings it at the bowler’s end so hard and so wide that there’s no stopping it – five for Rabada!

67th over: South Africa 208-5 (Bavuma 47, Rabada 4)Bavuma gets a single off Broad’s first delivery, leaving Rabada with five to deal with. He deals with the first four soberly and sensibly, and then drives the last through the covers for four. Broad sprints through the over, with the aim of completing it in time for England to squeeze in one more. And they will …

Anderson's delivery to de Bruyn deviated away by 1.28° - his second biggest deviation of the innings & biggest since ball 6.3. #EngvSA

66th over: South Africa 203-5 (Bavuma 46, Rabada 0)Rabada comes in as nightwatchman, and survives Anderson’s final four deliveries. I also didn’t see the umpire’s finger go up, though UltraEdge would have sent De Bruyn packing had he waited.

I think de Bruyne walked there. Pretty ballsy thing to do at such a crucial moment, DRS or not @nickmiller79.

England make the breakthrough! The ball moves away from the batsman just a smidgeon, flicks the edge and flies into the keeper’s gloves!

65th over: South Africa 203-4 (Bavuma 46, De Bruyn 48)Broad’s final delivery is angled into Bavuma, who tries to pull it away, misses it completely, and gets a flying cricket ball in the guts for his troubles.

64th over: South Africa 200-4 (Bavuma 44, De Bruyn 47)Still nothing doing, though Bavuma takes a stroll outside off stump and is very nearly bowled by Anderson, whose delivery whistles just past leg stump.

63rd over: South Africa 200-4 (Bavuma 44, De Bruyn 47)A final fling, for today, for Broad. Nothing much comes of it, but for two singles, but Root clearly feels that his frontline quicks can do something before the close of play, and are more likely than the spinners.

62nd over: South Africa 198-4 (Bavuma 43, De Bruyn 46)Four for Bavuma, worked to fine leg where there are no fielders around to stop it. Is De Bruyn, as Bumble appears to believe, really pronounced “de brain”? As in …

61st over: South Africa 194-4 (Bavuma 38, De Bruyn 46)Wood bowls, and De Bruyn doesn’t have to move his feet, just straightens his body and swings, the ball screaming through midwicket for four.

60th over: South Africa 189-4 (Bavuma 38, De Bruyn 42)The shadows lengthen, Anderson strains, but there’s no movement and De Bruyn’s defence is sturdy. Maiden.

59th over: South Africa 189-4 (Bavuma 38, De Bruyn 42)The highlight of the over being a ball that flies down leg and just evades a diving Bairstow, going for two byes.

58th over: South Africa 186-4 (Bavuma 38, De Bruyn 41)Anderson’s back, and Bavuma pushes the second ball into the ground and back to the bowler, who collects and flings it stumpwards. It hits the stumps but only after bouncing off Bavuma’s toe, and the whole thing seems a bit unnecessarily aggressive. Since their scores were last tied De Bruyn has scored more runs and Bavuma has faced more balls (he now leads 73-66).

57th over: South Africa 185-4 (Bavuma 38, De Bruyn 40)This is an excellent partnership. Wood puts his all into another over – no falls this time, but certainly a three-quarter-stumble-with-one-arm-pushback – but it produces no chances and five runs.

56th over: South Africa 180-4 (Bavuma 36, De Bruyn 37)Stokes’ over starts with a De Bruyn boundary, worked fine to long leg, and it ends with a wide, full delivery being thrashed to backward point for four more. Both boundaries the result of poor bowling.

55th over: South Africa 169-4 (Bavuma 31, De Bruyn 31)Wood falls over, as is his wont, while delivering his first ball, but still thinks he’s seen enough to be pretty certain he’d got De Bruyn lbw. But his fall-down didn’t precipitate the batsman’s downfall. The batsmen run a leg bye, which is all they get from the over.

Not out! But that was as close as it could get without overturning the on-field decision – which was a bad one. The ball would have clattered leg stump pretty much full-on, but not quite full-only enough.

REVIEW! Mark Wood reckons he’s got De Bruyn lbw here! The on-field umpire, however, doesn’t.

54th over: South Africa 168-4 (Bavuma 31, De Bruyn 31)Stokes bowls short, and Bavuma cuts it in the air but over backward point. Bavuma leads De Bruyn 58-57 on ball faced, and it’s 31-31 on runs scored, which is all very pleasing.

53rd over: South Africa 162-4 (Bavuma 26, De Bruyn 30)De Bruyn gets two off the first ball of Dawson’s over, and four off the last. At the end of it Ben Stokes gets looked at by one physio and Bavuma by another, though neither seems seriously sore.

52nd over: South Africa 156-4 (Bavuma 26, De Bruyn 24)Stokes continues after the drinks break, and Bavuma’s cover drive is perhaps the finest shot of the afternoon. Not showy nor vicious, just fine timing.

51st over: South Africa 151-4 (Bavuma 22, De Bruyn 24)Dawson’s seventh over yields but a single, and is followed by drinks.

50th over: South Africa 150-4 (Bavuma 22, De Bruyn 23)Stokes bowls, Bavuma drives, Jennings dives in the covers … and misses. Four. After 50 overs the score is 150, which is pleasing. “The answer to my question about who came 146th and last in Wisden’s averages,” writes Tom Bowtell, whose question stumped the world, “is Moeen Ali – today’s most threatening bowler for England. Someone should really invent an aphorism about stats being untrustworthy.”

49th over: South Africa 146-4 (Bavuma 18, De Bruyn 23)Dawson’s first Test maiden in England. History.

48th over: South Africa 146-4 (Bavuma 18, De Bruyn 23)Stokes is back, and convinces the ball to move away from the batsmen a couple of times. Now, how not to consume a cheese cracker – a pictorial guide:

47th over: South Africa 145-4 (Bavuma 18, De Bruyn 22)Dawson’s back, and his first ball is eased through midwicket for four by De Bruyn. Nine off the over in all.

46th over: South Africa 136-4 (Bavuma 16, De Bruyn 15) Bavuma goes after Moeen’s second delivery, hoisting it back down the ground for a two-bounce for. And there’s another boundary too, smashed square. But then just as it looks like he’s purring, he tries to drive the final ball and misses it extravagantly.

45th over: South Africa 128-4 (Bavuma 8, De Bruyn 15) Six runs from Anderson’s first two balls include a four through midwicket, which Mark Wood races after and gamely dives at, but was never going to catch. And then four dots.

44th over: South Africa 122-4 (Bavuma 8, De Bruyn 9) A maiden from Moeen. These batsmen have faced 55 deliveries for their 17 runs. The blue skies under which Lord’s bathed this morning appear to have gone, with a thick layer of light grey clouds now hiding the sun.

43rd over: South Africa 122-4 (Bavuma 8, De Bruyn 9) Anderson’s back, but drama is not. So I went to see Eykah Badu last night, at London’s Hammersmith Apollo. It was a show memorable for two reasons: 1) It was like a furnace in there. Just ludicrously hot; 2) Badu wore a giant cloak; under the cloak she wore trousers and a top; under the trousers and a top, made of some plasticky fabric – basically modified bin liners – so she could rip them off when she’d had enough of them, she had another entirely different outfit, with both a top and a jumperish-type garment. She was the most overdressed person I have ever witnessed. The concert was a bit rubbish, but the clothing was unforgettable. Here ends my review.

42nd over: South Africa 119-4 (Bavuma 7, De Bruyn 7) De Bruyn goes after Moeen, marching down the wicket to hoik the first delivery towards long off for four.

41st over: South Africa 115-4 (Bavuma 7, De Bruyn 3) Broad’s first delivery isn’t so good, and Bavuma just needs to get a gentle tickle on it to get send it down leg for a guaranteed four. And he does. Then the batsman has a go at getting another boundary, but misjudges the bounce and the ball passes under his swishing, horizontal bat.

40th over: South Africa 109-4 (Bavuma 2, De Bruyn 2) Moeen’s second delivery turns wildly, befuddles De Bruyne and flies behind the batsman’s legs but wide of the stumps, a genuine ooh moment. South Africa get two byes out of it.

39th over: South Africa 107-4 (Bavuma 2, De Bruyn 2) Since tea: seven overs, three maidens, two wickets, 11 runs. This is another maiden, from Broad.

38th over: South Africa 107-4 (Bavuma 2, De Bruyn 2) A single apiece from Moeen’s over. “A surprising stats quiz for your readers,” writes Tom Bowtell. “Which bowler came 146th and last in Wisden’s First Class bowling averages for last season?” Er … Well … Um …

37th over: South Africa 105-4 (Bavuma 1, De Bruyn 1) Two new batsmen at the crease, and Broad’s got four slips in place as De Bruyn seeks his 12th Test run in his third Test innings. He gets one off the penultimate delivery, and Broad’s last jags into Bavuma, whose desperate bat-lunge across the line is just about successful – the ball clips the bottom corner of the bat – but he was about 2cm away from being on his way as well.

Another one for England! This also stays low I think, and moves into the batsman, and Duminy gets nowhere near it before it slams into his back pad, surely stump-bound. The umpire’s finger goes up, and Bavuma tells his team-mate not to waste a review.

36th over: South Africa 104-3 (Duminy 14, Bavuma 1) Duminy gets a single off the last to deny Moeen a maiden. Can these possibly work? If they do, why isn’t everybody wearing them?

Me trying to see where those Moeen haters are hiding #ENGvSApic.twitter.com/PpPbheGBmR

35th over: South Africa 103-3 (Duminy 14, Bavuma 1) A maiden from Broad, the ball repeatedly staying pretty low and Bavuma leaving them well alone.

Elgar played for more turn than there was & got an inside edge. The ball spun 2.46° which is 1.06° fewer than Moeen's match average. #EngvSA

34th over: South Africa 103-3 (Duminy 14, Bavuma 1) Moeen also swaps ends, and with near-immediate effect. It could have been even greater: Elgar goes, Bavuma comes in, swings wildly and inside-edges his first ball into his foot, which is all that stopped it hitting the wicket. Duminy sweeps the last to the log leg boundary, where it’s hopelessly misfielded and thus earns four.

Moeen Ali - gets to 100 Test wickets and 2,000 Test runs this match. 38th cap makes him second fastest Englishman to this double

Quickest England all-rounders to 100 wickets and 2,000 runs:
37 Tests Greig
38 Moeen
42 Botham
43 Flintoff
48 Rhodes, Bailey
67 Broad

Moeen comes on and has an immediate impact, as Elgar edges into his front pad and the ball flies into the hands of Ballance, who had just been installed at short leg!

33rd over: South Africa 98-2 (Elgar 54, Duminy 10) Stuart Broad is back for more post-pausal action, after a fine burst before and after lunch (though he’s since switched ends). Duminy faces, with three slips and a gully waiting for a catch. Broad, though, bowls into the pads, and Duminy works it away for an easy two. Then he does edge one, but the ball falls well short of Jennings at third slip.

Interesting afternoon session. Probably roughly even, and England have bowled a little better than the two wickets suggest. South African captain Elgar has looked very solid indeed, but he could do with someone to score a few quicker runs alongside him, mind.

32nd over: South Africa 96-2 (Elgar 54, Duminy 8) Moeen is back into the attack, this time against the slope from the Nursery End. So many men around the bat Duminy can barely see the sun, but he cautiously plays out the last over before tea.

31st over: South Africa 96-2 (Elgar 54, Duminy 8) Both a short-leg and a leg slip in place as Wood comes round the wicket to Elgar. He pulls for a single, then Duminy plays a delicious drive through the covers and to the boundary. Wood drops a little shorter, and Duminy goes for a pull but bottom edges it into his toes, and fairly nearly onto his stumps.

30th over: South Africa 91-2 (Elgar 53, Duminy 4) Stokes is going for a slightly straighter line, possibly aiming for one of those away swingers. Although he does get one to swing back in at Duminy which raps the pads, and looked close. No decision, no review though.

Root has been on the attack for 30 overs now @nickmiller79 This augurs well for the future especially if England can field all these options

29th over: South Africa 90-2 (Elgar 52, Duminy 4) Root mixing up his bowlers a little: here’s Mark Wood, on in place of Moeen. He sends down a maiden, of broadly tight lines save for one odd delivery miles down leg side.

28th over: South Africa 90-2 (Elgar 52, Duminy 4) Stokes thuds one into Duminy’s pads, and while it was heading down leg there was a little swing there. This might be another way in which the England attack might be superior to the tourists’: all South Africa’s quick bowlers seemed most comfortable bowling with the new ball, whereas England have a couple who can made the old one do a bit too. Two singles from the over, one a leg-bye.

27th over: South Africa 88-2 (Elgar 51, Duminy 4) Duminy drops to one knee and tries the lap sweep, but misses and hits his back hip - there’s an appeal, but he was probably outside off stump so no dice there, and the ball squirts away for a couple of leg-byes. He looks a little uncomfortable for most of the over but Moeen lets him off the hook from the last ball, dropping a short wide one that Duminy efficiently cuts to the point fence.

26th over: South Africa 82-2 (Elgar 51, Duminy 0) Stokes sends down a short one that Elgar ducks under, but the remainder of the over is on a fairly tight off stump line and it’s another maiden.

25th over: South Africa 82-2 (Elgar 51, Duminy 0) JP Duminy, who feels like he’s been in the South Africa teams since the mid-90s, is the new bat. Two slips and a short-leg in, but despite one that gets a bit of zip from off stump, Duminy survives relatively comfortably.

A ripper from Mo, the first one he’s really got to grip, starting out quite wide of off stump and jagging back in, trapping Amla dead in front of middle. There’s brief and enormously optimistic talk between the two batsmen of a review, but that was stone, stone, stone dead.

24th over: South Africa 82-1 (Elgar 51, Amla 29) The ‘medium pace’ of Stokes whistles past the edge of Elgar, having bounced plenty. Then the next ball, a little fuller and wider, grubs along the floor and through to the keeper. This pitch probably won’t be much fun to bat fourth on. Elgar then carefully opens the face and guides a four down to third man, and that’s his half-century.

23rd over: South Africa 78-1 (Elgar 47, Amla 29) Lovely, controlled shot from Elgar, taking a step or two towards Moeen and calmly driving straight down the ground and to the boundary. One more single, pushed down to long-on, from an over very carefully played out.

22nd over: South Africa 73-1 (Elgar 42, Amla 29) Root using his range of options now, as Ben Stokes comes on for a bowl. Shrewd analyst Warne describes Stokes, the bowler who frequently tickles 90mph, as a medium-pacer, but it doesn’t exactly matter how quick you are when you bowl two balls at Amla’s hip. The great man flicks both for four, one square and the other in front of mid-wicket.

21st over: South Africa 64-1 (Elgar 42, Amla 21) Spin from both ends now, as Mo Mo Mo Ali is on from the Pavilion End. He’s round the wicket first up to Elgar, who doesn’t look absolutely comfortable against the ball spinning away from him. Still, a relatively incident-free maiden.

20th over: South Africa 64-1 (Elgar 42, Amla 21) Elgar now doing his best not to let Dawson bowl at him. He takes a step or two down the pitch and goes inside-out over mid-off, then tries the same from the next ball but gets a thick edge that flies over gully.

19th over: South Africa 54-1 (Elgar 35, Amla 18) Bit of bounce from Wood, and Elgar fails in his attempt to get on top of the ball, edging down past Jennings at third slip, hitting turf a yard or so in front of where fourth might have been. A streaky four, then Wood tries coming round the wicket, has no joy but falls over once in his follow through.

While the players have a drink, Nick Miller back here to delicately guide you through until tea. Emails to Nick.Miller@theGuardian.com, Tweets to @NickMiller79

18th over: South Africa 49-1 (Elgar 31, Amla 17) Amla thumps Dawson’s first delivery through fine leg for four. His average in first innings played in England is a trifling 19.33, which he’s on the verge of surpassing. His best effort was 36, at the Oval in 2008.

17th over: South Africa 42-1 (Elgar 29, Amla 12) Good pace from Wood, earning himself a first maiden of the day.

16th over: South Africa 42-1 (Elgar 29, Amla 12) Dawson has a slip, a short leg and a silly point in place as he bowls to Elgar, who sweeps the ball away for four. “Oh yeah, 50 for two boys!” encourages Bairstow from behind the stumps, optimistically.

15th over: South Africa 36-1 (Elgar 24, Amla 11) A run each for the two batsmen. Jonty Jenner, who is surely a PG Wodehouse character rather than a cricketer, has just come on as sub fielder.

14th over: South Africa 34-1 (Elgar 23, Amla 10) Liam Dawson comes on, and his second ball spins and turns hard, throwing up a cloud of dust and jagging into Elgar’s back pad. One ball – not quite as encouraging, but definitely welcome – later, Root brings in a silly point, just in case. “I wouldn’t fancy a spell of fast bowling if I’d just eaten that lot!” says Mick Belford of the Lord’s luncheon.

13th over: South Africa 28-1 (Elgar 22, Amla 5) Just as Wood sends down his opening delivery a cream-blazered fellow strolls out of a box in Elgar’s line of vision, leaving the batsman clearly narked. He composes himself, and punches the final ball down the ground for another four.

12th over: South Africa 24-1 (Elgar 18, Amla 5) Finally someone gets runs off Broad, Elgar pushing the ball straight back where it came for four, and then easing another off his pads for one. “Regarding lunch, looking at that menu I think you’d have to take the healthy options if you’re a professional sportsman, skipping the heavy-sounding mains to leave room for both cherry bakewell, and mango cheesecake,” writes David Wall. “The fitness coaches can’t object to players eating more fruit, can they?” That’s why it’s always worth choosing strawberry ice cream over the likes of chocolate and vanilla – it’s the healthy option.

11th over: South Africa 19-1 (Elgar 13, Amla 5) A bowling change sees Mark Wood come on, and the left-handed Elgar fends one down the leg side for a single before Amla gets a couple off the last. This is an interesting Wood-based stat:

In Test cricket Wood has an average of 27.45 against right-handers compared to an average of 62.20 against left-handers. #EngvSA

10th over: South Africa 16-1 (Elgar 12, Amla 3) Another Broad maiden, Amla defending every delivery. “I imagine that if I went to sleep for fifty years, I would wake up to find Anderson and Broad still leading the England attack (and taking wickets),” writes Andy Wilson. “Ballance will just have been recalled to England after showing good county form. Anybody to do with the national team will still be scratching their head and wondering what Rashid even is, while one of the test openers will be on debut. This will all be brought into perspective by Yorkshire patiently waiting for Lyth and Lees to come back into form. Nothing will change, except I may have bionic legs.”

9th over: South Africa 16-1 (Elgar 12, Amla 3) There’s duck on the sample menus on the Lord’s website for the Harris Garden and Pelham’s restaurants, though none at Thomas Lord, the Cricket Academy or Lord’s Tavern. Still, they clearly do like a duck.

@Simon_Burnton strange seeing the @HomeOfCricket menu with duck on it. Doesn't history say this was banned? Or is it an urban myth?

8th over: South Africa 13-1 (Elgar 11, Amla 1) Broad’s bowling fine, disciplined stuff here. There were a couple of deliveries that slid across Elgar and down the leg side, one of which slammed into his pad on its way, prompting a brief appeal. He has yet to concede a run since lunch.

In Test cricket Broad has dismissed Amla seven times in 644 balls, conceding 301 runs at an average of 43 runs per wicket. #EngvSA

7th over: South Africa 13-1 (Elgar 11, Amla 1) Amla averages 49.39 across his Test career, but in England his average is 75.70, helped in no small way by his 311 not out at the Oval in 2012, though there are two other centuries on the list, both at Lord’s. He is yet to play a Test here without getting a ton, but in his two previous first innings here he got six and 13.

6th over: South Africa 10-1 (Elgar 9, Amla 0) So two overs, one wicket and no runs since the lunch break, and Hashim Amla strolls out.

The final ball of the over takes a healthy edge and flies into the hands of Cook at slip!

5th over: South Africa 10-0 (Elgar 9, Kuhn 1) Hello! I hope you’ve all luncheoned well. I certainly did, though it’s baking hot here in London and there was drama as the air ambulance helicopter noisily landed next to my lunch spot, just across the canal from the Guardian’s Kings Cross HQ. I hope all OBOers are happy and healthy on this fine day. Here’s what the players got stuck into. I’ll have the halibut please.

Here's what the players will be tucking into at Lunch today.@officialcsa's bowlers will be desperate for that final wicket! #LoveLordspic.twitter.com/QngIgoMfm5

Simon Burnton will be along shortly to take you through the first hour of the afternoon session. Email him on Simon.Burnton@theGuardian.com.

Temba Bavuma will probably be batting soon enough. Here’s Ali Martin’s interview with him from earlier in the week.

Related: Temba Bavuma dreams of the day when colour is no issue for South Africa

Careful start from South Africa, as you might expect from just those four overs. Hints of movement from both Broad and Anderson, but nothing too flamboyant so far. The real match will start after lunch, mind.

4th over: South Africa 10-0 (Elgar 9, Kuhn 1) Broad beats Elgar with an away-shaper, but after a single Kuhn plays out the remainder with the care of someone handling a new-born kitten.

3rd over: South Africa 9-0 (Elgar 8, Kuhn 1) Anderson continues over the wicket, and beats Elgar going across him: brief appeal from the slips, but any noise came from bat hitting pad. Then Elgar plays a lovely, controlled drive through the covers, carefully picking up his first boundary.

2nd over: South Africa 4-0 (Elgar 3, Kuhn 1) No rest for Broad, as he starts in from the Nursery End to debutant Heino Kuhn. He’s away from the first ball, jabbing a single off the back foot through the covers. Broad comes around the wicket to Elgar, who nudges an optimistic single to mid-wicket: he has to run around the bowler, Dawson takes aim at the stumps and just misses. If he’d hit, that was out by three or four yards.

1st over: South Africa 2-0 (Elgar 2, Kuhn 0) Anderson starts over the wicket to Elgar. First few balls get Elgar hopping a little, and the third jumps up past his chin. Elgar gets off the mark with a deliberate guide through gully, and they come back for two. Elgar keeps the rest of the over out, very deliberately, almost crouching forwards as he tries to smother what swing there might be.

Both sets of players wait at the bottom of the steps for the umpires, which is unusual. Joe Root gives his first teamtalk, and England look pretty lively.

Ticklish 15-odd minutes for the Saffers now. Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad striding in, or perhaps they might give Mark Wood a go: he probably won’t have been too disappointed about his delivery, given it was a bit of a shooter.

A rather entertaining morning, all told. 12.3 overs, five wickets and 101 runs. That, as an aside, was Stuart Broad’s first fifty since he scored 65 vs Australia at Trent Bridge in 2013. That, as Michael Clarke will tell you, was the innings where Broad nicked behind (not to first slip) and didn’t walk. Always nice to be reminded of that one.

Broad backs away and lasers another boundary through the covers. Then - technically - he’s dropped, as Amla gets a hand to a high edge in the slips, but he did well to get anywhere near that. Then, the fun stops, as Anderson nicks behind off Morkel.

105th over: England 453-9 (Broad 52, Anderson 12) Even Anderson is at it now. Well, sort of: he edges along the ground, through gully and to the boundary. And then - I promise you this is true - he skips down the track, adjusts for a shorter ball and spanks a six into the Mound Stand! What scenes! That’s the third six of his career, apparently, and the England balcony is falling about laughing.

104th over: England 443-9 (Broad 52, Anderson 2) Broad upper-cuts which drops just short of third man, but he barely had a clue where that was going. Rather surprisingly they take the single...but Anderson manages to swiftly get off strike with a nudge to deep backward square. Morkel tries to york Broad, but he does v.well to not only dig it out but bunt a couple of runs out to the sweeper on the cover fence. Shaun Pollock muses that Broad “will just be looking for a single from this delivery”, so of course he hooks a six into the Grandstand. And then another, exactly the same shot, just slightly higher into the stands! That’s Broad’s 50, in just 45 balls. Good knock that man.

103rd over: England 427-9 (Broad 37, Anderson 1) Rabada lets England off the hook a little with some rancid fielding off his own bowling, allowing Anderson to take a single and remove himself from the strike. Umpire Rieffel raises his eyebrows at Rabada for running on the pitch again, which was an issue yesterday. Broad takes a brace of twos, the first hard run to third man then a pull out to deep mid-wicket.

102nd over: England 421-9 (Broad 32, Anderson 0) Broad will play some shots now, and he starts that with a lovely back-foot drive just in front of point that goes to the fence. He then backs away and goes for a meaty cut that takes a bottom edge, it thunks into his boot and damn near spins right back into the stumps. Morkel pitches a couple up, almost gets an outside edge then misses the stumps by a hair with one that Broad misses. Then from the final ball of the over he drops short again and Broad - perhaps not always entirely looking at the ball - pounds a pull in front of mid-wicket to bookend the over with boundaries.

101st over: England 413-9 (Broad 24, Anderson 0) A mild clatter, and England might be a little disappointed that they’ve lost four wickets for 56 runs this morning.

Mark Wood is the new bat, and he lasts two balls, as the second one from Rabada ducks in and thuds his knees right in front of all three. That was so dead he walked.

Moeen controls a pull nicely, and we’re treated to the sight of Morkel chugging after the ball, then diving to stop the thing. Which he just about manages to do, although with the minimum of grace. He gets another two, but then goes for a drive with one that Rabada gets to duck back in and it takes the top of off stump.

100th over: England 409-7 (Moeen Ali 83, Broad 24) Once again Mo larrumphs a shot for no runs, this time is perfectly-timed drive is stopped in the covers. Then two balls later the same happens, Bavuma the man again to deny him. All he can get from the over is a single flicked down to fine leg after Morkel changes to over the wicket.

Looks nice, dunt it?

View from the comm box...as Richie might have said "Watta day!" pic.twitter.com/bDakxLjGGb

99th over: England 408-7 (Moeen Ali 82, Broad 24) Mo nails a cut but Bavuma does well to stop a certain four at point. A tucked single gives Rabada a few goes at Broad, and he nearly takes an ear off with a rrrrrrrrapid bumper. Then beats the edge with one pitched up. The ol’ one-two.

98th over: England 407-7 (Moeen Ali 81, Broad 24) Morkel has a go at Broad from round the wicket, has no joy so tries over. No joy there either, although they have now brought in a short leg. However...

They bowl far too many at him - they should try to get him out like they would any other Number 9 @nickmiller79https://t.co/m5n8oYc3nP

97th over: England 406-7 (Moeen Ali 80, Broad 24) A bowling change, and Kagiso Rabada gets a go from the Nursery End. Broad gets an extremely lucky boundary with a weird jab at the ball which caught the inside edge that flies inches over the stumps, and way past De Kock. Broad then goes for a hook which goes way up in the air, but Morkel at fine leg firstly doesn’t pick the thing up as it was floating through the sky, then makes a fairly moderate attempt to save it from the boundary when he had worked out where the thing was. Needless to say, he was not successful. A decent over from Rabada, thoroughly unimpressed with his colleague’s efforts, but eight runs come from it.

96th over: England 398-7 (Moeen Ali 80, Broad 16) Morkel gets Broad hopping around the crease like a startled cat with a rib-tickling short one, then after a single Moeen pulls out of a hook that hits the splice, could have gone straight up in the air but instead plops safe.

We could be heading down a bit of a rabbit hole here. “Regarding John Starbuck’s comment,” writes Steve Hudson, “is that really possible given that still don’t have a definitive statement from the ECB about stubble? At what point does clean shaven become stubble? Or stubble become a beard?”

95th over: England 395-7 (Moeen Ali 79, Broad 14) “Alternatively, you could forget about quick or slow hitters,” writes John Starbuck with some absolutely watertight logic about England’s top order, “and select people on their chin preferences. Most of the bearded players have scored well, most of the clean-shaven ones haven’t.” Vern sends down a maiden, only threatened by a lusty attempt at a cut by Mo that he doesn’t get nearly enough of.

94th over: England 395-7 (Moeen Ali 79, Broad 14) Mo tucks a two and a single off his legs, then Broad wafts at Morkel as he finally sends down a short one.

What did you do before breakfast today?

Well now ... this is an interesting Breaking News Alert ... certainly gave me paws for thought. pic.twitter.com/2rZmjQysEj

93rd over: England 392-7 (Moeen Ali 76, Broad 14) Woof! Mo gives it some, specifically with a pull in front of of mid-wicket and then a whipped leg glance, both of which reach the ropes. That’s 2,000 Test runs for Moeen, almost all of them lovely.

William Cooling picks up on the England top order point: “I think too much emphasis is placed on the personnel causing problems with England’s top order and less on the tactics imposed on the players on management. The “problem” is that they want everyone to be scoring quick runs but most of the best candidates for the top order prefer to carefully accumulate runs. Which is pretty obvious considering the difficulties playing aggressively against the moving ball.

92nd over: England 381-7 (Moeen Ali 67, Broad 12) Morkel gives Broad a widish half-volley which he sort of jabs through point and it goes to the boundary. Not an entirely convincing shot, but also a weird line of attack: there’s no short-leg/any catching fielder on the leg side to Broad, a man not entirely comfortable with the short ball, being bowled at by the steepling Morkel. Another full ball is driven at by Broad, and this is edged through the slips and for another boundary. Nine runs from the over but barely a convincing shot played.

“Someone might have the stats,” says Kevin Wilson, “but I’m pretty sure whenever Root is not out overnight he gets out really early the next morning.” Anyone?

91st over: England 372-7 (Moeen Ali 66, Broad 4) Moeen drives with no little gusto, gets an edge but again it drops short. Elgar shuffles in another yard or so closer in the slips. Then after a single, Broad prods at one that takes another edge, but this one flies beyond De Kock and goes to the boundary. Vern gets one to duck back and thwacks Broad on the knee: they go up with confidence, but despite having a couple of reviews left they don’t go upstairs, which turns out to be a mistake as the replays suggest that was heading for about 3/4 of the way up leg stump. Why on earth didn’t they review that?

Steve Hudson writes: “In the interests of balance, can we also have the results for “I disagree with Gary Naylor”? And “Who is Gary Naylor again?” Unpossible.

90th over: England 367-7 (Moeen Ali 65, Broad 0) Morkel beats Broad outside off, then causes him to duck a decent bumper, and that’s a double-wicket maiden. Not bad.

David Wall writes: “Following the OBO of yesterday’s play it was striking how many of the emails were raising concerns about the no 3 position in the batting order, even into the afternoon and evening sessions when England were dominating the play. It could just be that England supporters like to take a pessimistic view of the side, and like to moan. But could it also be that the selectors treat the side like a later version of the Matrix, building in some obvious flaws because they know that the supporters are more comfortable having something to complain about. At the moment it’s about who bats at no. 3, last summer it was who should open the batting with Cook, and even during the period under Strauss’s captaincy, when there was a settled side, at the no. 1 ranking, there was an issue about the tactic of bowling dry, and so on. Of course, this approach can go too far (see the England side during the 90s), but would we prefer it if they went for perfection like the Australian selectors did in the Mark Taylor/Steve Waugh captaincies?”

It was just shaving the leg bail, but that’s enough to stick with the ump’s call and Dawson’s brief stay in the middle is done after two balls. Doesn’t look quite as shiny for England now...

Morkel gets one to jag in at Dawson second ball, pads are rapped, finger is raised. Could be a bit high...

And like that, it’s over. Morkel gets one to bounce a little and move away just enough, and Root feathers an edge through to the keeper. A quite glorious innings comes to an end.

89th over: England 367-5 (Root 190, Moeen Ali 65) Root shuffles back and across a little and punches a brilliant back-foot drive which skips its way to the cover fence. With most batsmen you’d say that was an outstanding honker of a shot, but with Root it’s the norm by now. A single brings Moeen on strike and Philander induces an edge, but it drops a couple of feet short of skipper Elgar at second slip.

88th over: England 362-5 (Root 185, Moeen Ali 65) Morkel has the ball for South Africa, jerking in like an animated Anthony Gormley statue. Root gets his first run of the day with a clip off his toes, then Moeen hammers one of those Gowerian drives through the covers for a four as glorious as the weather.

“Quick stat check re John Swan,” writes David Moore. “Dunno if this is possible, but just wondering if you can interrogate the Guardian archive to see how may times the OBO has quoted a email starting “I agree with Gary Naylor...”

The players are out, Lord’s looks like Lord’s looks like on a sunny day. Wonderful.

Another shout for this splendid idea, from Jo Neate:

“I mentioned this yesterday, and had a great response so hoping you’re able to help again. We’ve nearly got full teams for both of our upcoming trips. Once again a motley group of part-time OBO readers are heading off for our fifth year on a couple of jaunts to play cricket, one in Brighton in mid-August, and then across in Italy in mid-September.

“Morning Nick, morning everyone,” greets John Swan, formally but entirely correctly. “I agree with Gary Naylor’s advice to Joe Root but I think it is probably entirely unnecessary. Joe Root is surely his own man – he may be a cheeky chappy with a boyish grin but he has huge mental strength, he’s very organised and he knows his game, and I am pretty sure he has already hinted that he will captain proactively and aggressively, he will take punts on bowlers and field placings, he will make outrageous declarations and he will back the team to play with even more freedom. I think exciting times await – and I say that as an England cricket fan who has been following the sport since the eighties.”

You’re all busy people, so you can’t be expected to keep up with every single piece of grade-A gold that we publish on Guardian Sport. But don’t fear: sign up for The Recap, and we’ll remind you of the best articles from the previous week.

Related: The Recap: sign up for the best of the Guardian's sport coverage

Among several virtuoso performances yesterday, Shane Warne on commentary was at his Warney peak. It reminds me that after Ian Bell started scoring loads of runs Warne, who had previously dubbed Warwickshire’s finest ‘The Shermanator’, instead started calling him ‘Stifler.’ It’s probable that Warne is the only man in the world who thinks calling anyone Stifler is a compliment.

Will Macpherson was down the road yesterday to watch a quite heroic effort of skill and endurance by Rory Burns. Report here:

Related: Rory Burns stays on and on to ensure Surrey draw against Hampshire

A piece of advice from Gary for when England get into the field at some point tomorrow morning.

Root really needs to captain as he bats. When the time comes to be aggressive, be aggressive with slips, a gully and short leg @NickMiller79

Should you require a recap, here’s Vic Marks’s report from yesterday.

Related: Joe Root’s unbeaten 184 puts England on track after South Africa make inroads

Morning all. Joe Root, then. It tells you plenty that this is a sportsman who is only 26, has been on the international stage for about four-and-a-half years and even now, there’s little left to be said. Of course you could suggest that plenty of yesterday’s heroic 184* was down to luck, dropped once-and-a-half, stumped of truly the most absurd no-ball, but cricket is a game of centimetres, millimetres even. You’ll be able to find a point in most of the great innings in which the player in question could have been dismissed before they reached the peak of their innings.

But what now? A double hundred? Beating his own best Test score, which he got against Pakistan last summer? A total north of 450 for England? That of course is the tangible triumph of Thursday at Lord’s, alongside the glorious individual success, that England were in a piping hot mess before he and Ben Stokes, then Mo Ali, corrected things and set them towards this potentially formidable total. Against a South African batting line-up that isn’t entirely bullet-proof, it’s perfectly possible that Root’s innings is already a match-winner.

Nick will be here soon. Here’s Barney Ronay on Thursday’s hero, Joe Root:

As Joe Root and Ben Stokes punched and clipped their way towards a recuperative century stand on a heavy, woozy afternoon at Lord’s it was, as ever, easy to forget the presence of pretty much anything else beyond those high Victorian garden walls.

There were gurgles of pleasure around the basking bleachers; a parade of triumphantly bared male lower-leg beneath pleated chino shorts in the garden behind the pavilion; and everywhere the standard, quietly fevered consumption of jugs, pints and flutes.

Continue reading...

England build 216-run lead over South Africa on day three – as it happened

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The bowling of Moeen Ali and a gritty, unbeaten Alastair Cook half-century have put England right in charge of the first Test at Lord’s

So, as the last lot file out of Lord’s, this feels an appropriate time for me to sign off for the day. Jimmy A, who had a doze as Cook and Ballance battled through the last hour, says England will bat “the best part of two sessions” tomorrow to set up a big ol’ target. Bob Willis thinks they should tee from ball one on Sunday morning. Cavalier, is Bob.

Anyway, thanks for your company, emails and tweets today. Isn’t lovely to have Test cricket back? Have a lovely Saturday evening: if this is your bag, Vic Marks’s report from Lord’s, plus bits and pieces from Ali Martin and Barney Ronay, will be online before you know it. Thanks again, and speak soon.

Related: South Africa in deep trouble as England spin towards victory in first Test

Jimmy Anderson, talking to Michael Atherton, seems very satisfied with England’s position in the game, and the early throes of Joe Root’s captaincy. He’s just curtly corrected Athers on his age... Still got it.

This, by the way, is the number of runs Alastair Cook needs to overtake Sachin Tendulkar in the Test charts. #CatchinSachin

4803 to go.

So, England are right on top in this Test. If you were being super-picky, you could have asked for 50 more runs in that evening session, but they will be more than happy. 180 overs remain, it’s not going to rain, and they by 216. I won’t need to spell out what their strategy from here on in will be. For South Africa, the sight of Philander back on the field will bring optimism, but they have plenty more fielding to do.

51st over: England 119-1 (Cook 59, Ballance 22) Duminy to bowl the last, then. South Africa want to get out of here sharply. Ballance is watchful, then turns one round the corner and the single is greeted by some ironic cheers from what remains of the crowd. Everyone looks like they have had a really lovely day at Lord’s. Cook blocks the final ball of the day very firmly. England are right in charge, and Cook has ground them into a very fine position.

50th over: England 118-1 (Cook 59, Ballance 21) Here we are in the penultimate over of the day, and Maharaj is the man bowling it. We are going to be done just after 6pm, which is rare these days. Cook is watchful until he misses a big drive. Besides that, he’s riding the spin well, still getting right across to the offside.

49th over: England 118-1 (Cook 59, Ballance 21) This is the latest in a series of, well, quiet overs. Cook doesn’t look that fussed about getting after Rabada. The last ball is yorker-length and on leg stump, so Cook turns it through square-leg for one.

We were talking about revs per second earlier, and David Wall is wondering if it’s worth the bother. In terms of physics, I am now officially in over my head.

Is that actually much use as an informative statistic for viewers? It seems that the extent to which the ball moves depend perhaps more on the state of the pitch where it lands, and the part of the ball that strikes the ground, than on the speed that the ball is turning. And it’s not similar to the forward speed that bowler is delivering the ball, something that we all have a general grasp of. It sounds like an excuse to have something else to flash on the screen, and for the commentators to discuss during slow periods. And to wheel out some new device to measure it, and so justify a further hike in the subscription for the channel.

48th over: England 117-1 (Cook 58, Ballance 21) Maharaj had a brief rest, but he’s back now. Bowling over the wicket (still no leg slip) to Ballance, he is causing some trouble. One balloons off the pad to short leg, another sees a sweep totally missed. Calmly defends the last ball of a maiden. Three overs to go tonight.

47th over: England 117-1 (Cook 58, Ballance 21) Three dots begin this over, then Cook turns Rabada to leg for one. Ballance gets inside the line of a short one, then turns a rather surprising highish full toss through behind square for one. The lead is 214.

46th over: England 114-1 (Cook 56, Ballance 20) G-Ballz begins Duminy’s over by slicing a full toss behind square on the offside for two, then taking one through square-leg. Cook is defending, until the last ball, which he cuts out to deep point for one. There are five more overs tonight.

45th over: England 111-1 (Cook 56, Ballance 17) Ali Martin at Lord’s has emailed saying Philander can bowl straight away because his is an external injury, and therefore the time restrictions do not apply. Rabada serves up a very tidy maiden to Cook, who is just grinding England into a very strong position. No hurry, and David Shepherd would be in strife now.

Damian Clarke is suggesting I get myself one of these to ease my bladder woes, while Eddy Richards raises an interesting point. I reckon Broad won’t have to bat again in this game.

As an occasional number 9 (the occasion being when ether we are only playing with 9 men, or have children making up the numbers) I was pleased to see both Broad and Philander score 50s. I wonder how often this happens?

44th over: England 111-1 (Cook 56, Ballance 17) Duminy is replacing Maharaj, who bowled a lovely long spell. Ballance won’t mind that, I don’t reckon, and he trots down to the pitch of the second ball and pumps it over mid-on for four! Shot! England’s lead is 208. The penultimate ball of the over turns BIG, Ballance’s drive misses it, and it ends up in the hands of slip! No one out there is interested. Big turn.

This is 100% correct. The way he turns his wrist and pops round the corner makes him a grand old candidate.

@willis_macp It's ridiculous not to have a leg slip to Ballance on a pitch that is turning like this. It's where the anxious leftie hits it.

43rd over: England 107-1 (Cook 56, Ballance 13) I am suffering from a real OBOer’s nightmare: I need a pee and they are so obviously staying out there til the close. I’ve needed it since about half an hour after tea and you may have noticed my thinly veiled begs for a drinks break about half an hour ago. Anyway, suck it up Will, you’re an adult.

As I worry about my bladder, Cook clips Rabada hard through midwicket and gets an attractive four. Later in the over, there’s an edge that drops just short of Amla at first slip. Unlucky. Rabada bowling nicely.

Australia, 2009, 5th Test. Strauss, Cook, Bell, Collingwood, Trott. So that is 6 sets of double letters in the top five. Next in was Prior followed by Flintoff, so the average was one double letter for the top 7.

42nd over: England 103-1 (Cook 52, Ballance 13) Cook is doing OK to Maharaj without ever looking total comfy. He’s getting miles outside off and gets himself off strike with a fine swept one, possibly off the bottom edge. After this, it takes about four minutes to set the field because they want another helmet or something. Eventually, the final three balls were bowled. Ballance tries to reverse sweep the first! He misses. The next pops up off his pad behind square on the legside. Safe. And the last is swept hard for four! Very well played. Ballance is settling.

John Starbuck has a theory on Vern’s return, and he’s almost definitely right.

Philander has probably come back on the field so as to avoid silly regulations about his length of absence and ensure he can bowl first thing tomorrow. Someone is bound to correct this, but why else would he be keen instead of sensible?

41st over: England 98-1 (Cook 51, Ballance 9) Cook is struggling to time Rabada here. There’s a cut that doesn’t make it beyond point, but then a neat steer behind point for four! Well played. He has 48. And there’s his half-century! Rabada overpitches and Cook rocks onto the front foot (he doesn’t really rock, does he?) and he drives through extra cover for three! Vernon Philander, newly back, does well to haul it in. 127 balls, eight fours for Cook. Ballance ends the over by turning to leg for two.

Here, thanks to Thomas Bowtell, is Cook, Strauss, Trott and Bell in a top four together, in the wake of Textgate. James Taylor got run out going for the fourth in that game. A real I Was There moment.

So Jennings has made a negligible score at a run per over, but crucially he’s helped to play Cook in and take the shine off the ball - in other words exactly what Compton did before getting dumped?

40th over: England 89-1 (Cook 44, Ballance 7) My suspicion was correct. Cook hadn’t scored a run for 28 balls before that clothed pull. Anyway, it’s Ballance on strike now, and Maharaj is troubling him, on front and back foot, but Ballance is battling hard. A second successive maiden for the left-arm spinner.

39th over: England 89-1 (Cook 44, Ballance 7) Nice. Rabada is having a bowl from the Pavilion End, taking over from Morkel’s very fine spell which accounted for Jennings. He’s bowling over the wicket at Cook, who has been pretty slow since tea. He’s scored 11 in 70 minutes. He has a sort of wafty prod outside off, but misses. The over ends with a shortie from Rabada, and Cook pulls! He doesn’t even get half of it but the crowd go bananas (well, as bananas a Lord’s crowd goes) and they run two.

While I’ve got you, you should really read this. Vish, our man on the ground for the women’s world cup, on a huge game tomorrow.

Related: Heather Knight hopeful England can hit big to outsmart Australia in World Cup

38th over: England 87-1 (Cook 42, Ballance 7) SA have brought an extra catcher in for Maharakj to Ballance. Leg slip. After tracking and looking a bit ungainly for a dot, he sweeps hard and hits the poor bloke at short leg. He’s defending a long way forward again, and it’s a maiden.

Also after no hours of research, I reckon the double letter thing is more common than expected. Strauss, Cook, Trott and Bell must have been a top 4 for England at one point?

37th over: England 87-1 (Cook 42, Ballance 7) Cricket’s a great game, because England are well on top in the match but South Africa are dominating this little period. After a couple of probing balls, Ballance camps back and drives nicely through point for four, getting him off the mark. That’s the way he’s been batting all summer for Yorkshire. After a sturdy defensive stroke, Morkel comes round the wicket, and is driven through extra cover! They scamper three. Back over the wicket for Cook, and it’s angled across him and stays a bit low outside off. No sign of the drinks break I predicted. Lead is 184, and there are 14 overs left today.

Well, well, well. This’ll be good. Zafar is due to be coming on mine and Vish Ehantharajah’s podcast soon too. Great fella.

Hi @willis_macp There's an int with Zafar Ansari @TPpodcast_ on focus, commitment, quitting, India. Worth a mention? https://t.co/AGMlKhkKRT

36th over: England 80-1 (Cook 42, Ballance 0) With the ball turning, Maharaj is bowling well, drawing Cook forward and pushing him back. He tries to sweep and doesn’t connect again, he’s struck on the pad outside the line and the ball nearly rolls back onto the stumps. It doesn’t, don’t worry. That’s the most exciting moment of a tidy maiden. I think they are going to bowl one more and then have a wee drinky.

Trivia time with Thomas Bowtell! I like this lots.

After no hours of exhaustive research I’m glad to confirm that this is the first time England’s top four have all had a double letter in their name. (COOk, JeNNings, BaLLance and ROOt).

35th over: England 80-1 (Cook 42, Ballance 0) Just one ball remains of Morkel’s fine over and it’s Gary Ballance is the man facing it. He leaves it. For his dismissal Jennings’s bat was angled and his concentration gone. Sloppy way to end a decent innings.

Morkel is going over the wicket and angling it across Jennings. He looks unconvincing throughout the over (just defending and leaving), and then has a peculiar wafty nibble at the penultimate ball and feathers through to the keeper. They don’t drop them. Really good spell from Morkel with the ageing ball, this. Gone for 33, and the lead is 177.

34th over: England 80-0 (Cook 42, Jennings 33) Cook tries to sweep Maharaj, but it goes through everyone having taken the pad, and runs away for three legbyes. They ask whether Jennings has been caught off bat and pad, but he definitely hasn’t. There’s a legside single to get Cook back on strike, and he really doesn’t look that comfy. I’d be crowding the bat, but Elgar is happy with slip, short leg and a catching midwicket.

33rd over: England 76-0 (Cook 42, Jennings 32) England lead is becoming substantial, but it’s not growing that rapidly, which is fine. 173 at the moment. Morkel is bowling to Jennings with three slips and a gully, and Jennings is just defending. One takes the outside half of the bat and goes into the offside, but with no cause for alarm. He leaves the last well alone and it’s a maiden.

An optimistic email from Sachin Paul!

So if Jennings settles, we’d have England’s long sequence of settled lefty opening pairs continue - Butcher-Tres, Tres-Strauss, Strauss-Cook, Cook-Jennings. It’s beautiful how the junior left hander ages in front of our eyes and takes over the mantle of the senior for the incoming guy.

32nd over: England 76-0 (Cook 42, Jennings 32) Maharaj is bowling nicely to Cook, and the keeper and slip are umming and ahhing. The ball is turning and the bat is missing. The over ends with a sweep that he, err, misses. A maiden. Maharaj and Morkel could be a fun combo over the next few overs.

31st over: England 76-0 (Cook 42, Jennings 32) Morne is back! He started well earlier, but Elgar really has to vary his attack with Vern not bowling today. After a couple of decent balls, he gets one to take a thick edge off Jennings and it goes directly, at catchable height, between second and fourth slip, then runs away for four. Another man comes in to fill the gap. After a leave, Jennings has a defensive grope and it’s something of a play and miss. Perhaps we are seeing a bit of reverse swing? Be fun if so.

Graeme Carter has a question, and I have an answer:

Not relevant to Guardian ... but what is the ‘RPS’ number that appears in the analysis line of the Sky Sports screen when I watch live Test matches? The only answer I can find is Rising Pune Supergiant from the IPL. Puzzling.

30th over: England 72-0 (Cook 42, Jennings 28) Jennings sweeps Maharaj. They run one. Cook’s sweeping too, and with more ambition. He top edges, and there’s a cry of catch it, but it gets nowhere near the fella on the fence. They run another one. Jennings mucks up his reverse sweep and they take a leg bye. The over ends with a dot, as Cook turns into the legside, but straight to the man at midwicket.

29th over: England 69-0 (Cook 41, Jennings 27) Oh, JP! Bit more flight and rag and Duminy rips on past Cook’s outside edge as he props forward! Tasty! The next one has him in a little trouble on the back foot, too. The rest of the over is calmer, but there’s no runs.

28th over: England 69-0 (Cook 41, Jennings 27) Jennings sweeps Maharaj very hard and rather uppishly (top edge?) and it flies past the man at backward square for one. Not sure the percentages are that high on that stroke. Cook wants to sweep too, and does so without really looking at the ball, but manages to make contact, but straight to the man. He then ends the over by popping the ball over the legside for one. Again, percentages, man. He survives.

27th over: England 67-0 (Cook 40, Jennings 26) Duminy is firing them in pretty swiftly. Not quite darts, but sharp and flat. Anyway, it’s another maiden but Cook isn’t really troubled. England’s lead is 164.

26th over: England 67-0 (Cook 40, Jennings 26) Good over from Maharaj to Jennings, who isn’t quite sure whether to be forward or back, and fluffs another reverse sweep. He doesn’t take a run from the over.

Lots of chatter about Simon McMahon’s cocktail party. First, Phil Sawyer:

I’ll be happy to go to Simon McMahon’s Cocktails and Cricket Bats Shed Party, especially if he’s mixing the MBMs (his recipe, not mine), Actually, what does he mix in an OBO?

Please thank Simon McMahon for the very kind invitation(s). My brother is currently driving back to the West Midlands after an open day at Southampton Uni (the joys of parenthood) but I am sure he would be delighted to bring a bottle (and possibly even a bat). The garden shack is actually genuinely impressive in a mid-life male crisis sort of way.

25th over: England 67-0 (Cook 40, Jennings 26) Duminy into his fourth over. Cook gets himself off strike midway through the over, with a powerful cut that point saves and they take the single. Saved three, cost one, I suppose. Jennings turns a cute sweep round the corner and they run two, then everyone acts like the over has ended, but it hasn’t. Back they come, and Jennings plays a similar stroke. They take just one this time.

Matt Emerson has been in my inbox, with chat about cricket, drink and drugs! What a combo.

Sitting watching the cricket and reading the OBO. I have a bad back so have taken a Tramadol, but that’s an entirely different thread of conversation...

On my stag weekend I was given a Baileys and Ginger Wine, which both looks and tastes disgusting on account of it curdling in the glass. It’s a more alcoholic version of a Cement Mixer - a combination of Baileys and lime juice. You may be surprised to learn that I wasn’t very well that night.

24th over: England 63-0 (Cook 39, Jennings 23) More Maharaj, more Cook defending. He tries a big sweep at the fifth ball of the over but it gets big on him and hits his body. Nice easy single ends the over. Cook keeps pinching the strike!

23rd over: England 62-0 (Cook 38, Jennings 23) Duminy continues. He’s started very tidily and five dots start the over. Cook happy to defend off front and back foot, but he’s getting over to the offside. Ends with a bad ball, though, and the full toss is flicked wide of mid-on, from where Morkel chases it down, for three. England are very well placed here, with the lead worth 159.

22nd over: England 59-0 (Cook 35, Jennings 23) Jennings is almost bowled behind his backside first ball of this over, but there’s a very emphatic reverse sweep next up. Through point, perfectly struck, and four! Point goes back to the fence in response. Bit defensive from Deano, I reckon. He’s defending for the rest of the over and there are no runs, or cause for desperate alarm. The ball is turning...

21st over: England 55-0 (Cook 35, Jennings 19) The spinners are doing ok here, and Duminy is causing Cook a bit of trouble early in the over. But the pressure is released by a beautiful cover drive, played very late out of the rough. That gets him four. He then tries to cut a short ball, but the contact isn’t great and the over ends with the firmest and forwardest of defences.

20th over: England 51-0 (Cook 31, Jennings 19) Interesting over, this. Jennings gets himself in a bit of a tangle a couple of times as the ball turns plenty. There’s also a reverse sweep, like before tea, and he gets decent contact in front of square and they run two. To confirm he wasn’t watching before tea, Shane Warne gets very, very excited by this reverse-sweep. The reaction was approximately akin to when he learns that the dirty rotten pizza is on the menu.

Speaking of the cocktail party, Simon McMahon’s been in touch again!

Somewhat remiss of me not to invite Brian too, and your good self. In fact, everyone’s welcome. Cocktails on me!

19th over: England 49-0 (Cook 31, Jennings 17) Spin from both ends! Duminy’s having his first bowl of the series, and he starts well, as Jennings leaves outside off to the umms and ahhs of the keeper, de Kock. He drives out to the offside sweeper, and they amble through for one. Ooph, is that a missed chance? It’s looped up round Cook’s pads and the batsman is on the move, thinking there are byes to be had, but there aren’t. De Kock doesn’t take it cleanly; if he had a stumping could have been on the cards. Alas.

18th over: England 48-0 (Cook 31, Jennings 16) Maharaj, who is going to be a busy boy this afternoon, I reckon, gets us going. Cook is watchful, defending into the legside and back to the bowler, and it’s a maiden. Cook’s spent rather a lot of time working with another South African spinner, Simon Harmer, this summer. Looks very comfortable.

Simon McMahon with a question that all of us are asking. Brian’s brother sounds like the perfect guest, doesn’t he?

Afternoon Will. Can Brian Withington’s brother come round to my house? I’m getting a new shed a week on Monday, actually it’s my first ever shed, and the thought of gin, cricket bats and the OBO is making me rather giddy.

Robert Wolf Peterson has been in touch!

Please wait until South Africa bat again before flexing your undoubtedly mighty jinxing muscles. Thanks for the Sussex update. Jofra Archer, eh? What a hero. Match figures of 7-81, and he still found time to monster 42 off 14 deliveries when Sussex were chasing quick runs. I want to be him.

About five minutes until they get going again at HQ, then. I appreciate it’s not for everyone, but there is something really lovely about watching Alastair Cook bat. I’ve had the good fortune to see him doing it a fair bit for Essex early this summer and he’s been in great order: unhurried, inelegant, methodical, and just generally very comforting. He has 31 and, after a shaky start, looked right in the groove before tea.

Brian Withington’s been in touch again, and now he’s operating right in my wheelhouse.

All these drinking references suggest there might be some interest in my brother’s excellent yet undiscovered back garden cocktail shack themed blog. He also likes cricket bats almost as much as his artisanal gins.

Emails!

This one, from Martin Peters, poses a decent question. I think the golf one is closest: two up at the turn, maybe? In charge, but still time for plenty to go wrong...

Would it be fair to say that a 100 or so runs first innings lead is broadly equivalent to a 3-0 half time lead in football, or, say, a 12-3 advantage in rugby, or maybe being 2 up with 8 to play in matchplay golf?

Decided that it was better to keep it clean with the classical reference rather than ponder when Rabada might be tempted to treat the stump mic to another Rhapsody in Blue?

17th over: England 48-0 (Cook 31, Jennings 16) That’s better, Keaton Jennings. Rabada overpitches and he drives elegantly through straight mid-on for a couple, and a couple of balls later there’s a lovely flick through midwicket for four. The rest are defended, and that’s a very fine hour’s work for England’s openers. The lead is healthy, there have been few alarms, and South Africa are a man shy and have frittered away both their reviews.... Time for some tea.

A Vernon Philander update: He is unlikely to bowl again today, but his hand is just bruised, not broken. Might well bowl again in the game, by the sounds of things.

16th over: England 42-0 (Cook 31, Jennings 10) Cook begins Maharaj’s over with a delightful turn through midwicket, and they run three. jennings, perhaps relieved to not be facing Rabada, goes for another big reverse-sweep and scuffs it, but they take one. Cook is careful for the remaining four balls.

15th over: England 38-0 (Cook 28, Jennings 9) Jennings is struggling to get Rabada away. There’s a drive which is well fielded at cover and a couple of leaves, as well as some forthright defence. Another maiden, the fourth from his six overs. Two overs ‘til tea, I reckon.

Phil Sawyer gets us back on the booze, with an email simply title “Drinking”. Sounds like he is having a very fine day indeed.

Apologies, Will, I think it may have been me that started this drinking thread, Having over indulged last night keeping up with the Blast, I’m having a day of abstinence today. However, I’ve just been out in this scorching sun and now have a large supply of strawberry splits to recover with. By my standards, this is winning.

14th over: England 38-0 (Cook 28, Jennings 9) 10 minutes until teatime. Cook tries to sweep Maharaj a couple of times but the legside field is busy and he finds the man. But the last ball is too full, and with only nine fielders available to Elgar, there’s no man at cover. Cook sends it through there for four. Easy game, this.

I’m an hour into my stint and we have had a reference to Elgar’s musical surname! Classic! It’s from Brian Withington, with whom I agree: the composition of Elgar’s attack isn’t quite right...

Elgar’s bowling options are looking a mite limited. Who else is wondering if he can possibly compose some [groan] enigmatic variations in his field settings?

13th over: England 34-0 (Cook 24, Jennings 9) Here’s Rabada replacing Morkel, then. He’s bowling to Jennings, who looks increasingly keen to score (couple of drives straight to fielders). He doesn’t score, though: it’s a very tidy maiden. There’s a man in the stands wearing a cycling helmet, seemingly to protect himself from the sun. Odd.

Agree with this; reckon Edgbaston is going to be utterly glorious if the weather is nice for the day-night Test next month. Finals Day is always great fun.

@willis_macp About the drunken singing I know that Lords is mecca of cricket but I love that raucousness that you get at Edgbaston..

12th over: England 34-0 (Cook 24, Jennings 9) Maharaj to Jennings, then. He’s defending, but reverse-sweeps the third (that’s one of his shots, as you’ll remember from Mumbai), but he hits it straight to backward point. Then he edges wide of slip and they run one. Cook is getting miles across outside off (as that review last over showed) and he’s defending very carefully under his nose.

11th over: England 33-0 (Cook 24, Jennings 8) Keats leans into a cover drive off Morkel and it runs away down the slope only to be hauled in at the very last moment by Kuhn, who looks a very fine fielder to me. They sprint three, then Cook squirts to third man with an open face for four more! And then he does exactly the same again, just prodding forward, rolling his hands, and using the pace. Four! Time to put a third man in? That has gone directly between second slip and gully, so the latter moves to third slip. There’s a pantomime cheer when an attempt at a third dab merely finds backward point. And there’s 11 from the over – the lead is 130.

10th over: England 22-0 (Cook 16, Jennings 5) Time for some spin! South Africa are short on options, and Maharaj replaces Rabada, who may well be swapping ends. From over the wicket with a slip and short leg, Cook gets in a bit of a tangle outside off but no real cause for alarm. The next is a full toss that he sweeps hard, and it beats the man in the deep to the boundary for four!

Eesh, Cook might be in trouble here. This one has absolutely ragged back, he’s tried to cut and it’s hit him on the pad. Umpire says no, but after what feels like an eternity, Elgar reviews! That’s their second, and they have run out for the next 70 overs! It’s turned a mile but has hit him outside off stump, so not out. he responds by driving a half-volley through the covers for four! Eventful over.

My 5.30 start being richly rewarded with a great day’s play. And this bit is wonderful - old style Test cricket with cautious openers, accurate aggressive bowling and the Lord’s hum, no drunken ‘singing’.

9th over: England 14-0 (Cook 8, Jennings 5) Morkel seems to have decided to bounce out Jennings from round the wicket. Ramiz Raja always says round the stumps and, for no real reason, that really gets my goat for no real reason. Anyway, the two bouncers he begins with are very benign and Jennings barely needs to duck. He’s fuller thereafter, and Jennings shows no desperation to score, and therefore doesn’t score. He’s a nice loud caller, Jennings. No run!

For batting distractions, KP and Broad remain in a class of their own.

KP would have been distracted by Spidercam if it were at The Oval and he was batting at Lord's @willis_macp

8th over: England 14-0 (Cook 8, Jennings 5) Runs! In consecutive balls! Cook squirts Rabada down to third man along the ground off the open face for four, then flicks through midwicket for a couple. He’s in the groove! Oh wait, he’s beaten outside off from round the wicket next ball. The rest are respected, and that’s a very fine end to the over probing on fourth stump.

The world knows of my ability to jinx, and I care not how many Test runs the victim has. No one is immune.

waiting patiently for you to jinx Cook buddy

7th over: England 8-0 (Cook 2, Jennings 5) Morkel’s round the wicket and Jennings is driving him to mid-off. After that it’s a very steady maiden, the fourth of the innings. England’s batting order is very mullet, isn’t it? Sensible up front, party at the back.

Spidercam has been up to no good, delaying us and all, and m’colleague Tom Bryant has been in touch from Lord’s moaning. He’s not even a moany sort of guy, Tom, so it must be really annoying.

Can report from Lord’s that spider cam is a menace. Constantly distracting and frequently parked right in blooming front of me. Certain people at top of grandstand trying to fire champagne corks at it.

6th over: England 8-0 (Cook 2, Jennings 5) Rabada gets his first look at Cook this series. There’s an ugly cut outside off that he misses, then a wafty drive that he misses too. Steady, Chef. The drive one was a lovely ball actually, just nipping away a touch, and perfect for Cook: nice and full. The last is left, which is sensible.

Ian Copestake’s on about drink, and I’m feeling a touch queasy.

As you know, Will, cricket is almost as big in Russia as drinking. However, the Russian OBO toxic drinking thread never goes beyond one email that simply says “Vodka”.

5th over: England 8-0 (Cook 2, Jennings 5) This over is delayed by a bit more confusion with the sightscreen, because Morkel is swapping to over the wicket to Cook. When we get going, there’s a big appeal for lbw! Cook’s been pushed back and squared up a bit, but Paul Reiffell isn’t interested. South Africa review! Looks like it pitched outside and, sure enough, it did. It passed the no bat test, but failed the pitching in line one. Fallen at the second hurdle. Amid the leaves and the defending that follow, there’s one run from the over, an extremely Cook squirt down to fine leg. That’s his 1,000th run against South Africa! Taken him 16 Tests and he actually only averages 34 against them.

On the county blog I have developed quite a reputation for a peerless ability to jinx, and Lee Smith is in my inbox reminding me of this. He writes:

I’ve seen the damage you can cause during a round of county matches and as this is the 1st test of the summer it wouldn’t do to reduce the England 2nd innings to ribbons.

4th over: England 7-0 (Cook 1, Jennings 5) South Africa, you sense, are going to be really stretched here, without Vern, who is having an x-ray on a hand that got hit earlier. Maharaj is going to have to do a lot of bowling, and some of the part-timers – Duminy, Elgar, Bavuma – too.

Anyway, for now it’s KG Rabada and Jennings can’t get him away, until he strays onto the pads and is flicked away for four. That is about as elegant as Jennings gets. Ah, KG, don’t do that: next ball he oversteps and has to do it again. The end of the over is much tidier: Jennings leaves, then defends sternly.

3rd over: England 2-0 (Cook 1, Jennings 1) Morkel stays round the wicket to Cook, and the first isn’t that pretty. Down legside. He’s better afterwards, and challenging the batsman, but it’s another maiden. Neither batsman nor bowler will mind that.

On toxic beverages, there’s this number I’ve seen consumed called a Woody-Bowyer, for reasons that we needn’t go into, but involve a pair of former Leeds and Newcastle footballers. It’s basically loads of mixed alcopops and some extra vodka served in a pint glass. Very sugary, very unpleasant.

2nd over: England 2-0 (Cook 1, Jennings 1) It is indeed Rabada from the Nursery End. He starts very nicely at Jennings, who tries to squirt him away but only finds gully. He returns to defending and leaving thereafter, and the over is a maiden. Good start from SA.

An email! From Robert Scott!

Back in the late 80s as a Goth/metalhead/punk hybrid, I used to frequent the Studio on Plymouth’s Union Street as a Student. They were having a clear out of the beer cellar and had three crates (of very out of date) Cherry B, Snowball and Pony respectively. I would get one of each (30p each) and have them in a pint glass, topped up with Lemonade. Great to drink and looked horrific under UV. No one pinched it ever.

1st over: England 2-0 (Cook 1, Jennings 1) So, Morne. What you got? Cook’s defending the first two, both full probing and straight. For the third, Morkel goes round the wicket and that predictable Lord’s delay to sort out the sliding sightscreen follows. He pokes into the offside for one. He remains round the wicket for Jennings, and that’s a decent nut that the bat is just drawn inside the line of. Eesh - that’s a risky single! Pushes into the offside and sets off but Kuhn is all over it at cover and his shy misses by a whisker. Would have been miles out with a direct hit. The last is calmer: left along by Cook.

Afternoon Stuie! Stuie is a stalwart of the county blog that I often look after. The lead is 99...

@willis_macp afternoon will! Build on that lead

Big news: Vernon Philander, last man out for a very handy 52, is off for an x-ray on his hand at that hospital on Wellington Road.

Morne Morkel to get us going from the Pavilion End. Rabada from t’other. How angry is he going to be today?

Hello! Will Macpherson here, taking over from Smyth on this fine Saturday afternoon. 53 overs in the day, and England’s second innings – their lead is 97 – not far from kicking off. In fact, it’s so imminent that the umps are on their way out.

That’s it from me. Please be upstanding for Will Macpherson, who will tell you whether England get the third-innings blues. Thanks for your company, bye!

Five South African players were dismissed between 48 and 59, which will frustrate them. Moeen was comfortably the pick of the England attack: 20-7-59-4.

Moeen Ali returns to the attack and ends the innings quicksmart. Philander, on the charge, was bowled via inside-edge and pad to end a fine innings of 52. Moeen finishes with four for 59 and England lead by 97.

104th over: South Africa 361-9 (Philander 52, Morkel 2) Morkel gets away with a feckless heave off Dawson, with the ball dropping short of deep midwicket. A thick edge for three takes Philander to a very good fifty, his seventh in Tests and his second at Lord’s. “And the best news about this fifty,” says Shaun Pollock on Sky, “is that Nasser Hussain owes me five pounds!”

103rd over: South Africa 355-9 (Philander 48, Morkel 0) Philander moves closer to his second Test half-century at Lord’s with two thumping extra-cover drives off Wood.

102nd over: South Africa 347-9 (Philander 40, Morkel 0) Dawson could end with three fairly cheap wickets, despite a modest bowling performance. He beats Morkel with a ball that goes straight on.

“Your correspondents who were gifted the benefit of a university education went about their cheap drinking in completely the wrong way,” sniffs Andrew Battershill. ”My housemates and I spent many weeks working out the ‘pissed for pence’ value of our local supermarket offerings, and ended up with many nights of drinking Tesco own brand extra sweet sherry – about 18% and under a pound a bottle in the late 80s. Oh the joys of making it to college in the morning only to rush out of lectures to be sick in the toilet. We also worked out the cheapest Bloody Mary was to be made by wringing the contents of a can of chopped tomatoes through a handy teatowel…”

101st over: South Africa 346-9 (Philander 39, Morkel 0) Philander plays another cracking stroke, forcing Wood behind square on the off side for four, and then top-edges a hook over Bairstow for another boundary. These are useful runs, which take South Africa to within 112 of England.

“Hi Rob,” says Geoff. “Surely there must be a role somewhere with the Mac Millings XI for Garfield Sobers? Designated driver (puller and cutter) perhaps?”

100th over: South Africa 337-9 (Philander 30, Morkel 0) “I’m at Lord’s with my wife celebrating our eighth anniversary, in the cheap seats quaffing prosecco,” says Will West with justfied pride. “However, last week, at a dinner party, I discovered the winning combination of Gin and Um Bongo. Still no word on whether this particular cocktail is popular in the Congo.”

Maharaj survives an LBW shout from Dawson by virtue of being a long way down the pitch. England review, as much as anything because they have two left - and Hawkeye shows it was hitting off and middle. Maharaj was miles down the pitch, and there are some who will not particularly care for that decision.

WATCH: @BazMcCullum delivers a batting and captaincy masterclass in The Zone: https://t.co/KUnzMv2FLG@ShaneWarne@WardyShorts#ENGvSApic.twitter.com/Haij14U534

99th over: South Africa 334-8 (Philander 28, Maharaj 9) Wood’s pace is in the low 80s, which is surprising/disappointing/worrying/the end of civilisation as we know it. He’s still fast enough to beat Maharaj’s leaden-footed cut stroke.

“The twilight of Jimmy’s career is a bit like that of Teddy Sheringham,” says Dave Adams. “Never relied on pace anyway, and so guile, nous, and technique are keeping him at the top. Jimmy’s seam position through the air remains a thing of beauty.”

98th over: South Africa 334-8 (Philander 28, Maharaj 9) Dawson gets one to burst at poor old Vern, whose right hand has taken some punishment in this innings. Beautifully bowled.

“Just seen Mac Millings’ XI,” says Shaun Clapperton. “There’s actually a Wetherspoons in Ashington called the Rohan Kanhai.”

97th over: South Africa 334-8 (Philander 28, Maharaj 9) Philander is struggling with his right hand, having been struck by Anderson before lunch, though you wouldn’t know it from that handsome pull over midwicket for four off Mark Wood.

“During my book club in Frankfurt yesterday the talk turned to cricket,” says Ian Copestake, “and I was asked if any particular food is associated with it, just as in German sausages are so strongly linked to football as to make ‘stadionwurst’ (stadium sausage) a thing.”

96th over: South Africa 327-8 (Philander 21, Maharaj 9) Liam Dawson starts after lunch. His first bal- hang on, Liam Dawson starts after lunch? His first ball is short, wide and cut for four by Maharaj. Shane Warne has a persuasive theory, which is that Joe Root is trying to give Dawson one or two tail-end wickets to get his confidence up for the fourth innings, when spin is likely to play a big part.

“A pint of the snakebite at the Coven nightclub in Oxford was mysteriously cheaper than either a pint of cider or a pint of lager,” says Miranda Jollie. “Still not a great excuse for drinking the stuff.”

95th over: South Africa 323-8 (Philander 21, Maharaj 5) The last over before lunch, bowled by Anderson, passes without incident. The wicket of de Kock in his previous over makes it a decent session for England, who lead by 135 in this interesting Test match. See you in half an hour for the afternoon session.

94th over: South Africa 318-8 (Philander 20, Maharaj 1) “Bob,” says Mac Millings. “With all this talk of boozy reminiscences, please allow me to present my All-Time Booze XI:

Wally Hammered

Graham Hooch

93rd over: South Africa 314-8 (Philander 17, Maharaj 0) Jimmy Anderson turns 35 this month. It’s no age for a fast bowler, yet he is still producing figures like these: 18-6-39-2. He’s the wise old don of world cricket.

Anderson makes a huge breakthrough. de Kock slices a drive towards square cover, where Stokes swoops to take an extremely good low catch. That was also good captaincy from Root, his first effective bit of funky field-setting.

92nd over: South Africa 313-7 (de Kock 47, Philander 17) Moeen replaces Broad, whose four overs with the new ball went for 35. It’s just a different setting on the bowling machine to the relentlessly attacking de Kock, who swaggers down the track to lift Moeen high over midwicket for four - and repeats the stroke later in the over to reach a Gilchristian half-century from just 36 balls.

91st over: South Africa 305-7 (de Kock 43, Philander 17) A maiden from Anderson for Philander, who is still wringing his hand in pain from time to time. South Africa have batted quite brilliantly against the second new ball; de Kock on the attack and Philander in defence.

“Hi,” says Paul Ward. “Reidy’s cocktails have passed into legend, especially in Football 365’s ‘Football people on TV’ series.

90th over: South Africa 305-7 (de Kock 43, Philander 17) Stokes, Broad and Root have a pow-wow betwen overs. They probably didn’t agree that Broad would bowl his first ball on the pads so that de Kock could skim it behind square for four; that’s what he has just done. A wider delivery is rifled through mid-off for another boundary, which brings up the fifty partnership and the 300. De Kock is playing beautifully, and another boundary through midwicket takes him to 43 from 30 balls. He has deposited Broad all round Lord’s.

“Rum and barley wine was my 1970s favourite, mainly because of the name: Dragon’s Blood,” says John Starbuck. “Nowadays it’s either various single malts or a Gimlet (Gin and Lime Juice) showing that tastes do indeed change, if not always mature.”

89th over: South Africa 293-7 (de Kock 31, Philander 17) Three from Anderson’s over. As usual he’s been very economical: 16-4-39-1.

88th over: South Africa 290-7 (de Kock 30, Philander 15) Batting looks pretty comfortable, even against a new ball and, in Philander’s case, with a sore bottom hand. This pair have added 42 in eight overs, and South Africa trail by 168. If they can shave another hundred off that we could have a very interesting match.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Dave Adams. “Not sure whether the tendency to drink more moderately as we age is down to growing up, having more cash, or the physical decline that means it takes days rather than hours to recover. My own shameful favourite was to drink a bottle of gin mixed with Lucozade when travelling for football. In hindsight, not one of my better life choices.”

87th over: South Africa 287-7 (de Kock 28, Philander 14) Anderson gets another one to rear at Philander, who pulls his right hand off the bat in a hurry. This pitch might not be much fun to bat on by Monday.

“Maybe you’re not a Chippendale, Rob,” says Mac Millings. ”But drop a letter from your name here or there, and I’d definitely be tempted to bring a stack of dollar bills to a performance by Bobbi Myth, Exotic Dancer.”

86th over: South Africa 283-7 (de Kock 26, Philander 12) Philander back cuts Broad confidently for four. He’s a decent lower-order batsman, with a batting average in the mid-20s, and actually his runs were a big part of South Africa’s victory in that seismic Test on this ground in 2012.

“Rob,” says Michael CM. “I’m trying to work out the best music compliment to listening to TMS/following the OBO. I’m thinking some sort of Brian Eno ambient stuff or some “post-rock” like Godspeed You Black Emperor. Thoughts? I’m aware this has probably been discussed before.”

85th over: South Africa 276-7 (de Kock 26, Philander 5) Philander is being worked over by Anderson. An outswinger goes past the edge; an inswinger climbs to rap Philander nastily on the glove. He wolfs down a couple of painkillers before resuming his innings, and gets off the mark with a touch to the fine-leg boundary. He’s not entirely comfortable, and as the blow was on his right hand it may have an effect on the rest of the match - and maybe the second Test as well.

“Quinton de Kock has to do a Sangakkara doesn’t he and give up the gloves?” says Gary Naylor. “He is a No4 a team that really needs one now AB de Villiers is not available. It’s a no-brainer isn’t it?”

84th over: South Africa 271-7 (de Kock 26, Philander 0) Broad beats de Kock with two of his three deliveries; de Kock hits the next three balls for four! Excellent stuff. The dead-eyed counter-attacking of de Kock is so reminiscent of Adam Gilchrst. He has 26 from 17 balls.

83rd over: South Africa 259-7 (de Kock 13, Philander 0) England take the second new ball. Anderson’s second delivery is an unplayable seaming grubber to Philander, who would have had no chance had it been straight. He is beaten in more traditional fashion by two gorgeous outswingers later in the over.

“Currently singing ‘Bavuma Rabada’ to the tune of Hakuna Matata,” says Sam in Kent.

82nd over: South Africa 258-7 (de Kock 13, Philander 0) Quinton de Kock would counter-attack if the score was nought for seven, never mind 253 for seven. He moves to 12 from his first seven deliveries with a classy back-foot drive for four off Moeen.

“I was pleased to see Liam Dawson selected ahead of Adil Rashid,” says Gary Naylor. “The Yorkie has nine wickets this season at 50 and is ‘enjoying’ an economy rate of over 4.5 - hardly a compelling case. Dawson, being left arm, complements Moeen’s right arm, working any rough that might appear and this pitch is spinning and will only spin more - last Saturday, dear old Samit was turning it square two pitches up the slope.”

81st over: South Africa 253-7 (de Kock 8, Philander 0) A bit of rubbish from Dawson is pulled for four by de Kock. Moeen will have at least one more over, you would expect.

80th over: South Africa 248-7 (de Kock 3, Philander 0) That was the last ball of the over. The second new ball is available but England will continue with spin for now.

Terrific bowling from Moeen. Bavuma was on the back foot playing for turn, understandably so after recent events, and the ball skidded on to take the edge. It hit Bairstow and flew to slip, where Stokes took a smart catch. Moeen has his third wicket and Bavuma has gone for a very good 59.

79th over: South Africa 248-6 (Bavuma 59, de Kock 3) The new batsman is the brilliant, dangerous Quinton de Kock, who has a Test average of 51. It’ll be interesting to see whether Root gives Dawson another over or takes the new ball straight away. Nasser and Bumble think he should continue with the spinners against de Kock for a few overs.

Liam Dawson (8-1-45-0) will have one over before the second new ball. So far it’s been a very bad game for Joe Root the selector. Dawson has plenty going for him as a limited-overs cricketer but it was hugely disappointing to see him selected ahead of Adil Rashid.

Erm, as I was saying! Dawson has taken his first wicket, with Rabada caught behind. He went back when he should have been forward and got a thick edge that was beautifully taken by Bairstow. That’s an extremely good bit of wicketkeeping.

78th over: South Africa 244-5 (Bavuma 58, Rabada 26) Moeen almost skids one through Rabada, who decides that attack is the best form of defence and mows the next ball over midwicket for four. That wasn’t quite where he intended, but whatever.

“Love the detention concept,” says Brian Withington. “Could be very effective means of combatting slow over rates if everyone was kept behind for an hour after close. Maybe Geoffrey Boycott could supervise with a helpful lecture on how things were better in his day?”

77th over: South Africa 238-5 (Bavuma 57, Rabada 22) Rabada is doing a fine job here, taking time out of the game. And occasionally swishing and missing, as he did just then at Wood. This is quiet period in the game, as is often the case before the second new ball.

“Morning Rob,” says Phil Sawyer. “Things I don’t miss about being young: drinking Copperhead cider from LiquorSave (4 cans for £2!) with the aforementioned side order of self-loathing. Now I drink high class swanky time artisan cider. Oddly, the self-loathing seems to remain about the same.”

A reminder from @AWSStats that Ben Stokes is on 3 disciplinary points (as was Rabada before this game) so one misdemeanour away from a ban.

76th over: South Africa 237-5 (Bavuma 56, Rabada 22) Moeen comes into the attack, replacing Stokes. His first ball spits viciously at Bavuma, who gloves it just wide of Ballance at short leg. After three years of oddjobbery, England have found the perfect role for Moeen as No7 and attacking second spinner.

75th over: South Africa 236-5 (Bavuma 54, Rabada 22) A mixed over from Wood. He beats Rabada with a jaffa but then lets slip a full toss that is carved for four.

“The Rabada thing,” begins John Starbuck. “’Demerit points’ sounds very public school. Can you get ‘Housepoints’ for applauding an opponent’s fifty?”

74th over: South Africa 232-5 (Bavuma 54, Rabada 18) Bavuma square-drives Stokes for four to reach a classy half-century. As Mike Atherton says on Sky, he looks a much better player than his average (33.25) would suggest.

“Slightly surprised that Moeen isn’t tossing a few up to Rabada while Ben Stokes invites him to mind the windows,” says Gary Naylor.

73rd over: South Africa 224-5 (Bavuma 49, Rabada 17) Two from Wood’s over, again with a hint of reverse inswing to the hitherto strokeless Bavuma.

72nd over: South Africa 222-5 (Bavuma 48, Rabada 16) Rabada is quite stylish for a lower-order batsman, with a hint of Stuart Broad in his Garry Sobers days (see the last paragraph here). Stokes hits him on the collarbone with a terrific bouncer from around the wicket; Rabada times the next ball beautifully through mid-on for four. This is an excellent duel between two players who don’t like each other. I don’t think there have been any words between them yet.

71st over: South Africa 217-5 (Bavuma 48, Rabada 12) A wide grubber from Wood to Bavuma hits Bairstow on the shin, forcing him to hop around in pain. Joe Root shows that captaincy won’t change him that much by failing to stop a fit of the giggles. That was a lovely moment of infectious, affectionate schadenfreude. There is a hint of reverse swing for Wood, with Bavuma digging out an inswinging yorker. Another maiden continues a good start from England.

70th over: South Africa 217-5 (Bavuma 48, Rabada 12) The timing of the rugby - and the availability of gin at Lord’s from the early hours - means there will be some lively hangovers tonight, never mind tomorrow morning. I must say, one of the things I definitely don’t miss about being young is having a beer headache at teatime, especially when it comes with a side order of self-loathing.

Ben Stokes starts at the other end, and almost slips a classy yorker through Rabada. A maiden. It’ll be interesting to hear what Stokes says if he dismisses Rabada; presumably something like “Off you go Kagiso, it’s an early ice bath for you!”

69th over: South Africa 217-5 (Bavuma 48, Rabada 12) The Saturday of the Lord’s Test is one of the great occasions of the summer, yet there is a slight after-the-Lord-Mayor’s-Show feeling because of that epic rugby. Anyway, Mark Wood opens the bowling to old dirty mouth, who drives pleasantly through extra cover for two. Presumably Wood, Ben Stokes and Moeen Ali will bowl until the new ball is available in 11 overs’ time.

Did anyone see the T20 last night? Tom Curran bowled a sensational last over to win Surrey’s match against Essex. He looks a serious prospect, particularly in limited-overs cricket.

Talking of Nasser, on Monday he met Kagiso Rabada for this terrific interview. On Friday, Rabada was banned for flinging the F-word around at the Home of Cricket. Interesting.

Arf!

Rob I'm struggling against a 65 mph medium dobber who bowls a bit like Damien Martyn do you have any advice ??Thanks Nasser from Chelmsford

Rugby? Bloody hell.

Some more pre-play reading

Related: Moeen Ali and Stuart Broad put South Africa’s Lord’s record under threat

Related: Liam Dawson takes tentative steps from England’s spin conveyor belt | Barney Ronay

Related: The Recap: sign up for the best of the Guardian's sport coverage

I won’t tell you the Lions score, in case you plan to watch it on delay. But if you want to get the latest news, you can so do by clicking here.

The real Lion comes out when the last tackle is needed, when someone is needed to make the last pass to make something happen. When it’s like that, when you think you have nothing left, you become a Lion.

Sir Ian McGeechan’s famous speech on the 1997 Lions tour came to mind at Lord’s yesterday evening. When the ball is old, the partnership is established and the legs are heavy; that’s when you become a champion bowler. Jimmy Anderson’s late dismissal of Theunis de Bruy n was worth more than one wicket, as it has significantly changed the mood of the match. At 214 for four, South Africa were right in the game; at 214 for five, with the second new ball due in 12 overs, England have a chance of dismissing them for under 300.

Related: South Africa’s Kagiso Rabada suspended for second Test against England

Continue reading...

England thrash South Africa by 211 runs: first Test, day four – as it happened

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Moeen Ali took the first ten-for of his Test career as England romped to victory in Joe Root’s first game as captain

That’s about it for our coverage of this Test. It’s been an idyllic start for Joe Root, and South Africa will surely make a few changes for the second Test at Trent Bridge on Friday. Thanks for your company. Bye!

Related: Joe Root’s England reign starts royally as Moeen Ali tears through South Africa

Related: Joe Root lauds England aggression and names unchanged side for second Test

Moeen leads the team off, his body language as modest as ever. He is a pretty adorable bloke, and a fine cricketer who has finally found the perfect role in this side. He ends with career-best figures in both the innings and the match: six for 59 and 10 for 112. And he cracked a crucial 87 in the first innings.

WICKET! South Africa 119 all out (Morkel c Jennings b Dawson 14) After hitting two sixes in three balls, Morkel drags Dawson to deep midwicket, where Jennings takes a fine catch. England have thrashed South Africa to go 1-0 up in the series!

England have beaten Australia by three runs in a World Cup classic at Bristol. Read all about it.

36th over: South Africa 107-9 (Philander 19, Morkel 2) Philander brings up the hundred - the team hundred - with a six, launching Moeen over wide long-on.

35th over: South Africa 94-9 (Philander 12, Morkel 0) A maiden from Dawson, who is a little unlucky to have only one wicket to Moeen’s six.

34th over: South Africa 94-9 (Philander 12, Morkel 0) If Moeen wants to complete the perfect all-round performance, he needs to get the last wicket with a run-out like Graham Gooch on this ground in 1990. That week he was asking himself ‘Who writes your scripts?’

Moeen completes the first ten-for of his Test career! Rabada top-edges a cut and is smartly held by Bairstow, and England are one wicket away. Moeen has six for 44 in the innings and ten for 103 in the match!

Never mind this game, there is a storming finish in the World Cup match between England and Australia at Bristol. Get on it this instant.

Related: England v Australia: Women's Cricket World Cup – live!

33rd over: South Africa 90-8 (Philander 12, Rabada 0) A full toss from Dawson receives an appropriate clonk from Philander, with the ball flying over deep midwicket for a one-bounce four.

In other news, here’s a slightly weird, essentially meaningless yet somehow thrilling statgasm: when England win this game, it will be the first time since 1999-2000 that the home side has led in an England/South Africa series.

32nd over: South Africa 84-8 (Philander 4, Rabada 0) “An interesting question arises as to whether Moeen would have bowled as well as this without Liam Dawson in the side,” says GARY NAYLOR. “As the only spinner, would he have forced the issue and, as seen so often on a helpful pitch, gone looking for the magic ball and been picked off? Alternatively, with Adil Rashid picked instead of Dawson, would Moeen have considered himself the junior partner and bowled with that status in mind? Conjecture of course, but there is a bit of Flintoff and Jones about how these two have complemented each other.”

I think you’re reaching, though I can see the point and only Moeen will know. I suspect the biggest factor is the coaching of Saqlain Mushtaq. Don’t forget Dawson was used first in the first innings, so maybe Moeen was the junior partner at the start of the game. One thing’s for sure: he’s not the junior partner now. He’s had an outstanding match.

Five wickets for Moeen! Maharaj belted a couple of boundaries down the ground before dragging an off-break back onto his stumps. That’s a lovely moment for one of the most likeable cricketers around, and there is real warmth in the applause of his teammates and those on the England balcony.

31st over: South Africa 74-7 (Philander 4, Maharaj 2) Dawson’s turns a peach past Philander’s outside edge. He has bowled beautifully this evening, albeit on a helpful surface, and deserves another wicket or two.

30th over: South Africa 74-7 (Philander 4, Maharaj 2) The last England spinner to take a ten-for at Lord’s was ‘Deadly’ Derek Underwood in 1974. Moeen needs two more.

Moeen’s magical match continues. That’s his eighth wicket, equalling his biggest haul in a Test match. It was a lovely bit of bowling. Theunis de Bruyn was surprised by some extra bounce and could only fend the ball straight to Stokes at slip.

29th over: South Africa 72-6 (de Bruyn 1, Philander 4) Dawson gets some extra bounce to hit Philander on his injured hand. He takes his hand off the bat quicksmart and wrings it in pain. The next Test starts at Trent Bridge on Friday.

“What another glorious advert this is for Test cricket, Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “A pitch - TAKE NOTE CHAIRMEN - that does a bit for both bat and ball, plus a mixture of excellent bowling and daft batting meaning this could be over tonight, courtesy of our new demon spin duo*. Adil must be grinding his teeth. South Africa are doing a 90s England, collapsing like a beer snake after tea. Where’s Phil DeFreitas?

28th over: South Africa 71-6 (de Bruyn 0, Philander 4) Bavuma shapes to pull a short ball from Dawson and then aborts the shot as it get“Hi Rob,” says Niall Mullen. “I’m at Lord’s but have a train to catch from Kings X at 7pm. What do you think my chances are of seeing a result this evening?”

Yes, yes you will. You have my word.

Moeen Ali gets his seventh wicket of the match. Bavuma misses an almighty heave across the line, almost knocking himself off his feet, and the ball turns enough to clip the off bail. Bavuma played well, and should be the top scorer with 21, but deep down he knew it was a lost cause.

27th over: South Africa 65-5 (Bavuma 19, de Bruyn 0) Bavuma shapes to pull a short ball from Dawson and then aborts the shot as it gets extremely big on him. This pitch isn’t just turning square; it’s bouncing vertically. South Africa have no chance. As has been said already, they lost this game on the first day.

26th over: South Africa 64-5 (Bavuma 17, de Bruyn 0) That was the last ball of the over.

Wisden 2018 will say de Kock was bowled by Moeen Ali, and that’s all you need to know. It could have pitched middle and hit off, a jaffa to beat all jaffas. Or it might have been a long hop that de Kock smashed onto his right leg, from where it rebounded onto the stumps. A bonus wicket for Moeen. He won’t care.

There’s a cracking game going on at Bristol, where Australia need 91 from 61 balls to beat England in the Women’s World Cup. You can follow it with Adam Collins.

Related: England v Australia: Women's Cricket World Cup – live!

25th over: South Africa 63-4 (de Kock 18, Bavuma 17) de Kock inside-edges consecutive turners from Dawson, the first onto the pad and the second wide of leg stump, and then reverse-sweeps a couple.

24th over: South Africa 61-4 (de Kock 15, Bavuma 17) Bavuma, who has been really impressive in this match, sweeps Moeen decisively through square leg for four. South Africa look relatively comfortable for the first time since the dismissal of Kuhn.

23rd over: South Africa 54-4 (de Kock 15, Bavuma 11) Bavuma is beaten by another sharp turner from Dawson. That missed the bat by a mile, so extravagant was the spin.

22nd over: South Africa 54-4 (de Kock 15, Bavuma 11) That’s nice batting from de Kock, who cuts two short balls from Moeen for four with the minimum of fuss. He won’t die wondering; not in this innings, not in any innings. Moeen, having conceded four from his first seven overs, goes for 12 in his eighth.

21st over: South Africa 42-4 (de Kock 6, Bavuma 8) Bavuma puts a poor ball from Dawson away for four and then thick-edges a peach that drifts in and spits away off the pitch. It lands safely on the off side, well wide of Stokes at slip.

20th over: South Africa 38-4 (de Kock 6, Bavuma 4) Bavuma pulls his bat away from another nasty delivery that kicks to hit him on the elbow. Both de Kock and Bavuma look busy, and they are doing all the right things in terms of trying to counter-attack; it feels like an exercise in futility.

19th over: South Africa 37-4 (de Kock 6, Bavuma 3) Dawson is getting some lovely drift, which played a part in the wicket of Amla. In the Sky commentary box, Shane Warne sounds pretty impressed. de Kock continues to try to use his feet, yet all he can do when he gets to the ball is defend.

18th over: South Africa 34-4 (de Kock 6, Bavuma 0) Moeen skids a good delivery past de Kock’s outside edge. He responds by dancing down the track to consecutive deliveries; the first time he has to defend, the second he works for a single. Bavuma then misses an attempted sweep, with the ball beating Bairstow on its way for three byes. Batting is fiendishly difficult against the spinners. Imagine Murali on here!

17th over: South Africa 30-4 (de Kock 5, Bavuma 0) Bavuma mishits a nasty delivery from Dawson a few yards short of midwicket. This pitch is misbehaving a lot; with 34 overs remaining, the match will probably finish today. It’s a helluva chance for Liam Dawson to launch his Test career with a cheap four- or five-for.

16th over: South Africa 30-4 (de Kock 5, Bavuma 0) “Another smart catch from Ali to get of Duminy,” says Dean Kinsella. “Playing a true all-rounder’s role! Man of the Match performance in the making.”

He’s been great but I would give it to Root (or de Kock). His innings was the most important factor in the result.

15th over: South Africa 28-4 (de Kock 3, Bavuma 0) That was the last ball of the over.

Moeen and Dawson tripping off the tongue like Laker and Lock #ENGvSA

Liam Dawson strikes in his first over! I suspect he was brought on with de Kock in mind but it’s Amla he has dismissed. England won’t mind that one iota. It was a jaffa, drifting in from around the wicket and straightening sharply to hit the pad. Amla reviewed the decision but I think he knew he was out. Hawkeye showed it was hitting middle halfway up.

14th over: South Africa 25-3 (Amla 11, de Kock 0) Quinton de Kock has been promoted to No5. This is the big partnership, between the aforementioned geniuses. Surely the only way South Africa can win this is if de Kock homages Adam Gilchrist at Hobart in 1999. He has to counter-attack. First it’s Moeen to Amla, a testing over in which three deliveries go past the outside or inside edge.

Two odd batting line-ups.
England: 3 blockers, 3 dashers; only Root = both.
SA: 3 walking wickets in top 4; 2 geniuses; lower order pips top

The wicket means that’s the last ball before tea. England are well on top, with South Africa needing a further 306 to win.

Mark Wood comes into the attack. Duminy isn’t seeing it like a football, he’s timing it like one. He finally gets off the mark from his 15th delivery - and then falls to his 16th, clonking a pull straight to Moeen at midwicket. That’s a pretty poor shot, especially as it comes on the stroke of tea.

12th over: South Africa 22-2 (Amla 10, Duminy 0) Moeen skids one onto Duminy, who drags his bat down approximately 0.001 seconds before the ball hits him on the pad in front of off stump. This is excellent from Moeen, who is varying his flight and toying with Duminy. Another maiden, his third in a row.

11th over: South Africa 22-2 (Amla 10, Duminy 0) Amla drives Anderson just wide of the diving Stokes, placed deliberately at short cover. It goes for four but could easily have been another wicket. He gets another boundary later in the over with a bottom-handed flick off the pads.

10th over: South Africa 12-2 (Amla 0, Duminy 0) The new batsman is JP Duminy, to whom offspin is Kryptonite. He survives his first five deliveries comfortably enough.

Gone! Elgar skips down the track and drives straight back to Moeen Ali, who reacts smartly to take an excellent two-handed catch in front of his beard.

9th over: South Africa 12-1 (Elgar 2, Amla 0) Amla’s first delivery is a villainous lifter from Anderson that rams into his left wrist and lands safely on the off side. Amla did extremely well to ensure the ball went down rather than up. That’s not the first nasty delivery Jimmy has bowled in this match. At the age of 34, he’s turned into Patrick Patterson! Amla receives treatment, and is suitably unsettled that when he resumes his innings he almost drags a leaden-footed defensive stroke back onto the stumps. Terrific stuff from Anderson, who has figures of 5-2-6-1.

8th over: South Africa 12-1 (Elgar 2, Amla 0) Moeen Ali replaces Stuart Broad. He dismissed both these batsmen in the first innings, and his fifth delivery turns just enough to beat Elgar’s cautious poke. A good maiden from Moeen.

“Where Zen clashes with cricket,” begins Ian Copestake, “is that the sport is defined by having so many rules and it is thus within those tramlines that the student of Zen must work to find his special transmission outside the scriptures, as Bodihidarma might have said once or twice between deliveries.”

7th over: South Africa 12-1 (Elgar 2, Amla 0) That was a seriously good take from Bairstow, his second great catch of the match. You can see why he is so reluctant to give up the gloves, because he has worked like a dog to turn himself into a very good keeper.

Kuhn is strangled down the leg side. It was a beautiful low catch by Jonny Bairstow, diving a long way to his left, when Kuhn flicked at leg-stump delivery from Anderson.

6th over: South Africa 12-0 (Kuhn 9, Elgar 2) Broad is attacking the stumps, though we haven’t seen any uneven bounce and South Africa looked reasonably secure. I suspect Moeen Ali will be the first bowling change, maybe 20 minutes before tea.

5th over: South Africa 11-0 (Kuhn 8, Elgar 2) Elgar is seduced by a brilliant outswinger by Anderson. He knew he shouldn’t have been playing at it, but it was too late for his brain to inform his body and it zipped past the outside edge.

“Interesting stat,” says Gary Naylor. “I could have sworn Glenn McGrath had taken 289 wickets at Lord’s alone.”

4th over: South Africa 8-0 (Kuhn 7, Elgar 1) A good over from Broad, who made Elgar play at almost every delivery.

“A Zen approach is well-suited to some sports,” says John Starbuck. “Cricket, snooker, darts and perhaps tennis can make use of it in many respects, where being in the moment and extremely accurate are equally important.”

Dean Elgar has an LBW dismissal overturned on review. It was a strange one, in that Broad seemed to be strangling his appeal when S Ravi raised the finger. Elgar played around a straight one that hit him on the pad, but Hawkeye showed it would have bounced over the stumps.

3rd over: South Africa 8-0 (Kuhn 7, Elgar 1) Jimmy Anderson has taken 298 Test wickets in England. You won’t be surprised to hear nobody has taken 300; you might be surprised to hear that no fast bowler has taken 300 Test wickets in any country. The next best is Glenn McGrath with 289.

This has been a decent start for South Africa - nothing epiphany-inducing, but they have looked solid and comfortable against the new ball. Saying which, Kuhn tries to turn the last delivery to leg and gets a leading edge along the ground to backward point.

2nd over: South Africa 7-0 (Kuhn 7, Elgar 0) Stuart Broad should be a huge threat on this pitch, especially if he bowls full and straight like he did against Australia on a not dissimilar pitch at the Oval in 2009. Kuhn thick-edges a drive to third man for four in an otherwise uneventful over.

“Why was Mats (Philander) out there?” says Adam Roberts. “I am convinced the injury contributed to the drop, if only subconsciously. He was leading with his left hand as if protecting his right. Would it have affected his right to bat? Surely not.”

1st over: South Africa 3-0 (Kuhn 3, Elgar 0) Jimmy Anderson is about to bowl his first delivery when he realises he doesn’t like the ball, so he persuades the umpires to change it.Sometimes the great workmen blame their tools too. This might be the first time in Test history that the first over has been bowled with the second new ball. It looks a good one, from an England perspective, because it’s swinging. Heino Kuhn is beaten by a gorgeous outswinger and then times a nice drive through extra cover for three.

“There is something Zen about Jimmy’s approach to bowling,” says Ian Copestake. “The way he was feeling up those balls especially. Made me love him a bit more.”

Hello folks. South Africa were pretty brilliant with the ball this morning; they’ll need to be even better with the bat to win the game. Hashim Amla and Quinton de Kock are the key wickets for England.

Anyhow, Rob Smyth will be here presently to guide you through their successful chase; email him at rob.smyth@theguardian.com.

South Africa were brilliant this morning, but it wasn’t enough; they they weren’t perfect and they needed to be. Philander catches Bairstow, they’re right in this; they’re still in this, but 331 on this pitch will take monumentally good batting and outstandingly bad bowling. Really, this Test went with the missed chances on day 1, ground in by tail-end runs on day 2.

Bairstow tries another slog-sweep, misses, and pretty much walks when the bails fall. South Africa need 331 to win!

86th over: England 233-9 (Bairstow 51, Anderson 0) A short pull to square-leg or so sees Bairstow jazz through for two; that’s his fifty, and a valuable one it’s been; for this, he earns a handshake from Jimmy Anderson. Meanwhile, on the balcony, Joe Root is giggling; Vernon Philander probably isn’t.

85th over: England 230-9 (Bairstow 48, Anderson 0) After three dots, Bairstow tries a slog-sweep at Maharaj; the spin takes the ball past his off stump. Then, before the final ball, Elgar brings everyone in to make sure Anderson has strike; again, Bairstow sweeps, and only goes and gets three. That is very funny indeed.

84th over: England 227-9 (Bairstow 45, Anderson 0) The way Wood just loves being out there is such a pleasure to watch; it’s as though anything that happens in the match, good or bad, is brilliant because Look! I’m literally playing a Test match! Isn’t that the best! Yes it is! Anyway, the Burnley Lara is good to go and he faces down four dot balls.

Isaac Vivian Alexander Wood tires a pull but the ball’s too full for that and clatter his off peg. He might just have sealed the match for England, but.

84th over: England 227-8 (Bairstow 45, Wood 28) Rabada is warming up, so presumably the new ball is imminent. Wood, meanwhile, is curating an expert’s innings, making room to hit through cover and then driving to long-off; each gains two.

83rd over: England 220-8 (Bairstow 43, Wood 23) Are tail-end runs even more amusing than a player being hit in the dress circle? Same thing really and there are four more of them, Wood helping another on its way around the corner to Morne’s chagrin. And he’s no more amused when two more are miscued over the infield, then a single played down into the off side. Eight off the over, 317 the lead, and England haver found another use for that carrot they offered South Africa in the morning session.

82nd over: England 212-8 (Bairstow 42, Wood 16) Wood is enjoying this, and tonks Maharaj for four through midwicket. I doubt Philander is feeling good right now; if he’d caught Bairstow this would already be done.

81st over: England 208-8 (Bairstow 42, Wood 12) New ball is due, but South Africa don’t take it for now; they could finish the innings, or they could leak runs. Bairstow isn’t arsed either way, using the pace from Morkel’s final delivery to ramp four.

80th over: England 200-8 (Bairstow 35, Wood 11) Wood plays out a maiden, until he doesn’t; Maharaj’s last ball is wide, and he has a good look at it then wallops a square-drive for four. Lovely shot.

79th over: England 196-8 (Bairstow 35, Wood 7) Some patter between Morkel and Bairstow, perhaps because the latter is running over the pitch, perhaps because the former was in the road. Naturally, Bairstow finds it hilarious, all the more so when he goes to cut and bottom-edges, just missing his stumps in favour of adding four instead.

78th over: England 190-7 (Bairstow 30, Wood 6) Bairstow knocks to long off and they amble a single, then Wood mows one over the top of midwicket ... Duminy is in pursuit and hurls himself at it as the ball drops, but finishes just short.

“Please remind us why Rashid was dropped for Dawson,” emails Dean Kinsella. “Would love to have seen Rash bowl in this 4th innings. Still think England have this in the bag though!”

77th over: England 187-8 (Bairstow 29, Wood 4) Bairstow takes a single, and then Wood enjoys one sliding across his pads; he helps it around the corner to finest leg, thereby getting off the mark with a four. Morkel gets a modicum of revenge last ball, firing one in at the toes that makes Wood dance like an unfortunate cowboy; naturally, he find sit all very funny.

“Yesterday’s tea-time OBO was kind enough to indulge (nay welcome) some shameless fraternal promotion of my cricket-loving brother’s previously-neglected back-garden cocktail shack-themed blog,” emails Brian Withington hyphenetically.” To commemorate the Guardian’s generosity, a glorious Lord’s Test against SA, and his hit score now exceeding 10,000 (and catching Cook fast), John has crafted a cocktail of the day, the “Basil Dolly”. It is described as a “fruity, herbal simple return catch of a recipe for a warm Summer’s afternoon”. The method culminates fittingly with the coaching of “stir like a wristy late cut and add a tiny flourish of a leg-glance with a strawberry and some basil”.

Morne Morkel, who led this morning’s rout, has the ball...

Here they come...

Right then, beat that.

What a morning that was! In particular, Morkel and Maharaj were superb, taking full advantage of the doubt etched in the batsmen’s minds as soon as the second ball of the day shot off a crack. The afternoon session is set to be another belter, and potentially definitive; see you in roundabout 35.

76th over: England 182-7 (Bairstow 28, Wood 0) 25 overs this morning, 63 runs, seven wickets; lovely, lovely stuff. England lead by 279, and whatever happens, this is not going to be a draw. WinViz has England overwhelming favourites, 82% chance of winning, but one serious knock is all it’ll take to make that look silly. Lunch, 279 the lead.

What a catch this is! It’s golden duck for Broad! He turns Maharaj around the corner with the full face, only for De Bruyn, at short-leg, to snatch a fantastic snaffle! For the third year in a row, England have collapsed at Lord’s on day 4.

76th over: England 182-7 (Bairstow 28, Broad 0) This has been such a Test, and one set-up, to significant extent, by Stuart Broad’s fifty in the first innings. Er...

It’s a pair! Of second-ballers! Rabada tanks in and humps a full-toss that bowls Dawson all over the show! There’s a brief break while the unpires check it was below waist-height; it was, and what a morning this has been!

75th over: England 181-6 (Bairstow 27, Dawson 0) Dawson is on a pair here and Rabada will fancy the cut of his jib. But he’s got Bairstow on strike for four balls, before a inside-edge cannons the pads and they run one.

Maharaj diddles Ali in the flight here, bowling a little slower such that when the batsman skips down, he can’t react when the ball spins, nipping dips and between bat and pad to rattle the timber. England have lost five for 61 today.

74th over: England 180-5 (Bairstow 26, Ali 7) Bairstow leans away as Maharaj drops a tad short, opening up the off side and pounding the ball through it; four. And then, after a dot, he wallops over mid on for four more, then sweeps to square leg as the camera picks out a miffed-looking Vern; he then fields successfully and the crowd cheer him ironically.

73rd over: England 167-5 (Bairstow 13, Ali 7) South Africa have been sloppy this Test; wicket-taking no-balls and vital dropped catches are going to cost them the match by the look of things. Four singles, and England are starting to up the rate again.

DROPPED! Philander shells Bairstow on seven, at wide long off. Ball goes for four. #EngvSAhttps://t.co/gbyDT4AlQupic.twitter.com/mTeQRpHnY8

72nd over: England 163-5 (Bairstow 11, Ali 5) Oh mate! Ohhhhhh maaaaaaate! Ohhhhhh! Mate! Maharaj spins one away from Bairstow who chucks hands anyway, looking to go over extra cover. But Philander, underneath it at long off, watches the ball all the way into his hands, then lets it pass through them before making a Frankie Howerd face and blaming something in the sky, whether spidercam, cloud or deity, and definitely not himself. Four to the total, five off the over.

71st over: England 158-5 (Bairstow 7, Ali 4) Moeen takes one into the off side and then Bairstow forces away to backward point; they run two. The pressure has eased slightly these last few overs but then Rabada rushes one low past Bairstow; so low that he grins, bug-eyed, after following-through. The leads is 255.

Highest winning 4th innings chases at Lord's:
WI 344-1 v Eng, 1984
Eng 282-3 v NZ, 2004
Eng 218-3 v NZ, 1965
Eng 193-5 v WI, 2012

70th over: England 155-5 (Bairstow 5, Ali 3) Single to Moeen, via the increasingly popular sweep, and then Bairstow gets down on one knee to do likewise; he misses entirely. One off the over.

69th over: England 154-5 (Bairstow 5, Ali 2) I wonder if Elgar is thinking about a quick turn for Morkel against Moeen before he gets comfy. In the meantime, Rabada, from around, beats him with one that pitches and moves away off the seam. But in general, the bowlers are keeping more balls on the stumps than earlier in the match, as you’d expect given those cracks.

68th over: England 149-5 ( Bairstow 4, Ali 1) What a ridiculous pleasure it is to watch cricket of this ilk; great bowling, a sporting pitch, and runs hard to come by. Nothing; nothing; can compare to this. Three singles from Maharaj’s latest over and I literally cannot wait for the next one.

67th over: England 149-5 (Bairstow 2, Ali 0) 39 deliveries, four wickets, ten runs; this morning, South Africa were thinking about keeping Cook and Ballance in to ensure a slow scoring rate; now, they’re thinking victory. This has been a great morning of “Test-match cricket”TM.

This is going to finish today isn’t it? Rabada comes around and his first ball keeps low, scuttling on; Stokes walks, more or less, while Elgar clamps a hand over the bowler’s mouth and he puts a finger to his lips. Ungentlemanly conduct, in my opinion; BAN BAN BAN.

66th over: England 149-4 (Bairstow 2, Stokes 1) Rabada on for Morkel, who has taken two wickets in seven overs for not many runs. Rabada is just so beautiful to watch, floating in with malice aforethought.

65th over: England 148-4 (Bairstow 1, Stokes 1) Tight from Maharaj, giving Stokes very little space in which to play. He manages a single, and Bairstow does likewise.

Excellent decision to go with the astroturf option,” says Brian Withington of my mid-life crisis. “However, be prepared for some derision. The precocious youngest (9 year old) of visiting friends described it in appalled terms as a ‘travesty of grass’. He went on to win University Challenge for Peterhouse last year, so I guess he knew what he was on about.

64th over: England 146-4 (Bairstow 0, Stokes 0) So South Africa are still in this, even if it’d take a monumental effort to win from here simply chasing the deficit of 243. Another maiden from Morkel.

“I’ve heard that it takes you back to being held as a baby so it’s a comfort reflex,” Robert Taylor says of the head in hands thing. “Never double-checked that so don’t quote me on that”; sorry.

South Africa are on a roll! Feart of the cracks and accordant spin, Root is late on one that goes with arm, shuffling back and dangling rather than presenting the bat. The ball runs off the face, into the stumps, and that’s three wickets for seven runs in four overs.

64th over: England 146-3 (Root 5, Bairstow 0) Maharaj hits one of Morkel’s footholes, sending the ball to slip; so Root clump-sweeps the next one hard to square-leg. Immediately Elgar, whose fields have been excellent this morning - men in front of the wicket - sends the man who was short onto the fence.

63rd over: England 142-3 (Root 1, Bairstow 0) So, two new batsmen and two right-handers; Maharaj will fancy that. But in the meantime, Morkel is in rhythm, and it’s a beautiful thing.

Related: The Recap: sign up for the best of the Guardian's sport coverage

A terrific ball to cap a terrific spell. Jagging one in from around the wicket, Morkel persuades Ballance that he needs to play, and he duly fences to guide the ball behind.

63rd over: England 142-2 (Ballance 34, Root 1) Morne has his head in his hands as Root edges a drive; vis-a-vis that, a question: why do we put our heads in our hands when bad stuff happens? Is it instinct or learned? Who was the first person to do it, and why? Anyway, good though this bowling is, when might England step on it? And how many runs do they actually need? Another 30?

62nd over: England 141-2 (Ballance 34, Root 0) Maharaj into the attack, and with the field ad line telling Ballance he can’t drive, he shuffles down and shovels one from outside off over the top towards midwicket; it’s stopped on the fence and nabs him two, the only runs from the over.

WATCH! Cook drives to Bavuma at cover! Live on Sky Sports 2 - Brought to you by @FostersUK. https://t.co/gSOieoCidrhttps://t.co/v3YJ0uWyaB

61st over: England 139-2 (Ballance 32, Root 0) Rich reward for Morkel; Root is on strike and charges at his first ball before leaving it. In commentary, meanwhile, Warne gives Atherton a dig for saying an unsuspecting bloke in the crowd, upon whom the camera lingered, looked like him. That’s nice of them. Excellent over.

Cook drives hard but leaning back a tad, and it’s enough; Bavuma, at wide mid-off, tumbles to make a smart catch look routine.

61st over: England 138-1 (Cook 69, Ballance 32) David Gower points out that Morkel coming around the wicket is preparing rough for England’s spinner. Anyway...

60th over: England 138-1 (Cook 69, Ballance 31) Cook flicks Philander off his pads for a single; Philander is bowling straighter now, effectively at the cracks, with an extra man on the on side. Ballance finds the one at deep square, and they jog another single.

“If Mr Salmon moved with the times he could forget about mowing the lawn for ever,” advises John Starbuck, “either by turning it into a wildlife meadow or by ripping out all the grass and using colourful gravels instead. One of my major life decisions was deciding to do the latter and it’s saved me no end of bother and perspiration.”

59th over: England 136-1 (Cook 68, Ballance 30) Morkel still going and Ballance eases into a drive towards long off that gets three then, full of beans, swings and misses at another.

“How many runs does Ballance need to score today to start changing peoples minds about him?” tweets Matt Potter.

58th over: England 132-1 (Cook 67, Ballance 27) Philander is also around to Cook now, and he’s tight enough. The problem is that he’ll tire, so will Morkel, and if England have wickets in hand, South Africa are in allsorts. Maiden.

“As this game keeps moving towards the inevitable, I’m having some trouble justifying to myself and others spending the whole of a beautiful Sunday following it,” beseeches Peter Salmon. “It would really help if there were any personal milestones coming up that I can’t afford to miss – Moeen becoming the second fastest to the 2000/100 double would have worked a treat. I’ll take anything – Cook moving up to third most runs at Lords; Ballance, Root and Bairstow scoring most runs in a test by Yorkshiremen against South Africa etc. At the moment all I’ve got is Vernon Philander needing seven wickets to overtake Toey Tayfield and move to seventh on the table of South African wicket-takers, and it just doesn’t seem enough to get me out of mowing the lawn.”

57th over: England 132-1 (Cook 67, Ballance 27) Morkel persuades Ballance to waft at one outside off; it holds up and seams away past the edge. So Ballance has another go, dragging into the ground, and that’s the end of another tight over, one from it.

56th over: England 131-1 (Cook 66, Ballance 27) Warne wants a bat-pad man, given the up-and-down bounce, and that such a man might make the batsman think about what might go wrong; “best way to stop the runs is take wickets”. In the meantime, Cook is down the pitch to Philander and presents the full face, but whoever is at mid-on saves a boundary with a diving stop. One from the over, and South Africa badly need some wickets.

55th over: England 130-1 (Cook 65, Ballance 27) Morne - is it Mornay or Morknee, please? - comes around to Cook. I guess the trepidation is that the angle might feed yerman’s array of square-cuts, square-cuts and square-cuts.

On Steyn, Chris Weston says: “If comparing with Curtly and Wasim, then Hadlee has to be in the picture. But were any of them really contemporaries of his?’

54th over: England 129-1 (Cook 64, Ballance 27) Philander strays straight to Ballance, who helps it around the corner; Morkel does his best, lanking around the boundary and diving like collapsed deckchair, but it’s still four. They’re the only runs from the over.

53rd over: England 125-1 (Cook 64, Ballance 23) If Morne can find the cracks, things could get very unpleasant; but first he gets a grubber, and immediately Beefy is advising him to come around to Cook. That sounds like a pleasant Sunday’s morning’s choiristering. Instead, he gives Cook a short, wide one, and out comes that square-cut; first boundary of the morning.

“Dale Steyn? Given his record in India, just behind Glenn McGrath, on a level with Wasim Akram and Curtly Ambrose,” tweets Gary Naylor.

52nd over: England 121-1 (Cook 60, Ballance 23) Beefy reckons the pitch is a) a proper cricket wicket and b) so dry and cracked that something has to happen, and Philander is on the money immediately; Ballance crouches and gets it away for one to leg. Two balls later, the prophecy comes true - a crack is contacted and the ball shoots off pass leg stump. Get that off a straight one, and it’s goodnight. Anyway, Cook then turns away a single before Philander persuades one to leap off a length; another crack. England’s bowlers will be rubbing their hands.

Vernon has the ball...

...good.

Out come the players...

Back to Dale Steyn, where are we ranking him in our list of contemporary bowlers? Better than Anderson, not quite as good as Asif?

Hurray! Good news! Luke Fletcher is set to be released from hospital.

Related: Luke Fletcher set to be released from hospital after sickening T20 head injury

Naylor is back:“The one they’re missing today is Imran Tahir,” he reckons.

I can see that, but if you gave me a choice I’d take Steyn every time.

“Quinton de Kock must bat at 4 asap,” tweets Gary Naylon, “where he could be an all-time great - he really is that talented. Surely someone else can keep?”

I wonder. He’s got an amazing eye and and amazing power, that’s for sure, but I’d want to be certain he had the dexterity and consistency before using a less good keeper. I’d also want to be confident in the balance of my team before relieving myself of an all-rounder.

Email! “This test has been entertaining so far,” emails Robert Taylor, “but it is a crying shame that in this series South Africa may be missing, for various reasons and at various times, De Villiers, Du Plessis, Steyn, Philander, Abbott, Harmer, Roussouw, Rabada, Van Zyl and Viljoen.

As has been highlighted in the media, this series has in the last 20 years been fiercely competitive and dramatic and so to see South Africa struggling with getting some of their best players on the pitch is distressing. Don’t want to see them go the way of the Windies.”

But really, this is all window-dressing; the old Warner was home to the finest toilets ever crafted in the history of the world.

Finest toilet on the planet bar none. pic.twitter.com/GWHLBIfk

Sky are now chatting us through the development of the Warner Stand which, from my vantage point in the Compton Upper, looks nice but makes wanton vitamin D acquisition harder. Understand more about it and the accordant issues by reading the great Matthew Engel.

Related: MCC’s masters of the cricket universe have all but lost their footings at Lord’s | Matthew Engel

Other great Sundays at Lord’s: 2008, during which South Africa compiled 229-1, featuring crowd-pleasing tons for Smith and McKenzie, with Amla getting underway too. Put your hand up if you sat through that with dad-slaking restrictions in place.

On Sky, Ian Ward is asking Russell Domingo if Quinton de Kock can move up the order; tricky, given a young keeper, he dead-bats. He’s then pretty diplomatic about the binning of Kagiso Rabada for a Test, but the subtext appears fairly clear: people who aren’t Kagiso Rabada need to grow up.

The 2012 battle for the Basil is among the best ever played in this country. The two best sides in the world - driven, skilled, brilliantly vicious sides - fought like junkyard dogs to deliver a sustaining scrap of unbridled intensity.

That contest - criminally, staged over just three matches, hate criminally the last between the sides until 2016 - ended at Lord’s, and was more or less the perfect Test. Fair-to-middling scores on account of superb bowling, serious batting was still rewarded and the serious was finally settled with the eventual squashing of an improbable chase on the final afternoon. Ahhhhhhhhh.

Daniel will be here shortly.

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England v South Africa: second Test, day one – as it happened

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Hashim Amla, Quinton de Kock and Vernon Philander made fifties to help the tourists end an excellent, topsy-turvy day’s play with a slight advantage

Related: England’s Stuart Broad part of key quartet in absorbing South Africa tussle

Related: South Africa’s Amla and De Kock take fight to England but Broad strikes back

90th over: South Africa 309-6 (Philander 54, Morris 23) It would be so Stokes to take a wicket now, in the final over of a long, draining day. He beats Morris twice outside off stump and then, with the final ball of the day, finds an edge that falls fractionally short of Root at slip. That was brilliant from Stokes - but South Africa end a terrific day’s play with a slight advantage, having recovered impressively from 235 for six. From the moment Faf du Plessis chose to bat in bowler-friendly conditions, South Africa showed they are a far tougher side than the Lord’s performance suggested. Tomorrow should be a cracking day’s play. Thanks for your company today; bye!

89th over: South Africa 307-6 (Philander 53, Morris 22) South Africa are ending the day on top against a tired England. Wood is still in full Tigger mode, as you’d expect, and puts everything into his final over of the day. His labours, alas, are futile.

“Hang on Rob, you’re telling me I can’t wear shorts with my Dalston pals?” sniffs Guy Hornsby. “Next you’ll be saying I ride my penny farthing to the cereal cafe.”

88th over: South Africa 306-6 (Philander 53, Morris 21) Ben Stokes comes on to replace Stuart Broad, and Philander swivel-pulls the first ball smoothly for four. A thick edge for four later in the over takes him to an extremely impressive fifty. He has been the unexpected aggressor in this partnership, with 53 from 71 balls to Morris’s 21 from 61.

87th over: South Africa 296-6 (Philander 44, Morris 20) With nothing happening for Anderson, Joe Root decides to give Mark Wood a couple of overs before the close. I like that decision, particularly Root’s willingness to deviate from the captaincy book. I’d bring Stokes on at the other end too. Wood tries his best to make something happen, beating Morris with a grubber outside off stump. One from the over.

86th over: South Africa 295-6 (Philander 43, Morris 20) Philander cuts a weary delivery from Broad for four and then drives through extra cover for three. He is batting with impressive authority. So far all Faf du Plessis’s big decisions - batting first, de Kock to No4, Philander to No7 with five bowlers and Morris No8 - have been vindicated.

“As an homme d’un certain âge, who needs to conceal a soupçon of excess baggage, I can attest to the virtues of the North American shorts and untucked shirt combo,” says Tim Pearson. “In fact, I am deploying it proudly this morning for a walk around the back roads of Saltspring Island, British Columbia, Canada, as I follow the OBO.”

85th over: South Africa 288-6 (Philander 36, Morris 20) “I find the main problem with belts is that they get in the way of eating extra dinner,” says Phil Sawyer, mistaking this for a First Dates application form. “In fact sometimes I take the pants off as well so I’ve got more room to expand. You’re welcome to that mental image.”

84th over: South Africa 287-6 (Philander 35, Morris 20) Anderson and Broad pride themselves on their last spell of the day being as sharp as the first. That hasn’t been the case here, not yet, though they are doing their damnedest. Morris and Philander look comfortable.

“You have no way at all of working out OBO demographics, other than analysing the ones who respond to you,” says Nigel Phillips. “If it helps I’m an 85-yr-old lady on my second bottle of sherry.”

83rd over: South Africa 286-6 (Philander 34, Morris 20) A maiden from Anderson to the watchful Morris. This has been a really good day’s play, with the initiative swinging back and forth: South Africa were 18 for one, then 179 for two, then 235 for six and now 286 for six. Is there one last twist? Is there? Tell me goddammit.

82nd over: South Africa 286-6 (Philander 34, Morris 20) Philander plays the most emphatic pull stroke off Stuart Broad to bring up the fifty partnership. He is playing like a batsman rather than a bowler who bats.

“If I may interject in the shorts and belts discussion?” says Eleanor Harvey. “The answer is simple. Men should not wear shorts. Ever. Especially English men. Part of the aesthetic appeal of the wonderful game of cricket to its many female fans is the fact that male players are decorously covered at all times, like Victorian table legs.”

81st over: South Africa 278-6 (Philander 27, Morris 18) England take the new ball straight away. Philander softens his hands to ensure an edge off Anderson falls short of slip. This has been a calm, controlled partnership from Philander and Morris, and if they can see it through to the close it’ll be South Africa’s day.

80th over: South Africa 275-6 (Philander 24, Morris 18) Joe Root gets funky, giving Keaton Jennings an over before the new ball. And why not? It almost works, too; Morris inside-edges one delivery wide of the stumps and is beaten by another.

“Unlike the Guardian canteen and other bits of your eyrie, the places most of us inhabit are not subject to the ideas of Shoreditch and Dalston,” says John Starbuck. “No-one really cares if we wear shorts about the place, in the street, in the park, on the beach etc. Just wear what you like, though hopefully it will be reasonably clean. That’s all anyone asks.”

79th over: South Africa 273-6 (Philander 24, Morris 17) Philander alleviates the tedium by driving Moeen handsomely back over his head for four.

“So what is the OBO demographic, then?” says Andrew Benton. “Someone at Guardian Towers must have done some research...how’s the gender balance compared to TV watchers, for example?”

78th over: South Africa 269-6 (Philander 20, Morris 17) Dawson tempts Morris with a bit of flight, finding an inside edge that flashes past the leg stump. Well bowled. That aside there’s bugger all ado about bugger all; both sides, and everybody watching, is waiting for the second new ball. It’s due in two overs’ time.

77th over: South Africa 265-6 (Philander 20, Morris 13) Blah blah etcetera.

76th over: South Africa 262-6 (Philander 19, Morris 11) A maiden from Dawson to the strokeless Philander. Both sides are killing overs before the second new ball.

“The only way for men of a certain age (a category which I suspect forms the core of OBO readers) to wear shorts is to keep their shirts untucked, thus covering belts, waist-bands, and any overflowing flesh,” says Alasdair MacDonald. “Any argument over what one’s belt may or may not look like is thus made redundant.”

75th over: South Africa 262-6 (Philander 19, Morris 11) We associate Morris with bish-bosh, because of his white-ball exploits, but in this innings he has been almost exaggeratedly correct. Three from Moeen’s over.

74th over: South Africa 259-6 (Philander 17, Morris 10) Dawson has switched ends, so England are keen to rush through a few cheap overs before the second new ball. South Africa need to decide whether to stick or twist; at the moment they are sticking, with just a single from Dawson’s over.

“I always liked the Shelley Berman story from his ‘embarassing moments’ feature,” says Peter Rowntree. “It related how a man was at a formal wedding do with about 40 people round a table for their meal in a restaurant. After a few minutes the man looks down and realises he has forgotten to do something very important. So he reaches down and unnoticed makes the adjustment. A few minutes later he excuses himself to go to the bathroom and the whole damn table-cloth goes with him. What do you say at a time like that? ‘Oh. how did that get in there?’”

73rd over: South Africa 258-6 (Philander 16, Morris 10) Moeen replaces Liam Dawson, who is probably switching ends, and hurries through an uneventful over. Play can go on for another 75 minutes, so we should get the full 90 overs.

72nd over: South Africa 257-6 (Philander 15, Morris 10) Philander is beaten by Stokes and then wallops a wide delivery for four. Even by his standards, Stokes has been a mixture of jaffas and filth today.

71st over: South Africa 252-6 (Philander 11, Morris 10) Liam Dawson replaces Mark Wood. Great stuff. I wonder if he might be able to tempt Morris to fall on his masculinity by trying a big shot. Not in that over, which is played respectfully and yields a couple of singles.

“I’ve solved the belt with shorts conundrum,” says Jo Beasley. “Look at this.”

70th over: South Africa 250-6 (Philander 10, Morris 9) South Africa are driving with abandon, despite the swing. Philander and Morris both put Stokes away to the cover boundary in that over, leaving Stokes somewhat less than gruntled with life.

“Excellent observation from your correspondent Ben Parker (56th over) re: American casual dress,” says Kevin Ryan. “Something I have never understood with this form of attire is the insistence to wear a baseball cap with it even when there is a conspicuous absence of sun or even sunlight. It’s almost a statement ‘I am on vacation, or at least out of the office for the day, so this what I wear’.”

69th over: South Africa 240-6 (Philander 5, Morris 4) Stokes made the ball talk on a Friday evening in Nottingham against Australia two years ago and it’s reversing significantly for him and Wood this evening. Morris doesn’t care what the ball is saying; he plants the front dog and thumps a boundary through mid-off to get off the mark.

68th over: South Africa 235-6 (Philander 4, Morris 0) Morris’s first ball is a huge inswinger from Stokes that somehow misses the off stump. How, I will never know. Stokes bowled a dog of a first spell but his second and third have been full of menace. Every delivery has removed a little more of his red-ball rust.

“Re potential future fast bowlers,” says Chris Drew. “May I mark your card with Jofra Archer of Sussex. Qualifies both for WI and England. The lad is good. Very good.”

Bavuma tries to leave a fine delivery from Stokes but is too late on the (non-)shot; it kisses the face of the bat and goes straight through to Jonny Bairstow.

67th over: South Africa 235-5 (Bavuma 20, Philander 4) Bavuma pulls Wood emphatically for four - he is extremely good against the short ball - and waves a pleasant drive to the cover boundary later in the over. Lovely batting.

“I was distressed on a recent train journey to discover I was wearing fawn trousers and black shoes,” writes Smylers. “The sartorial misdemeanour didn’t bother me so much as the failure of my plan to ensure I didn’t leave the house without my rail pass — which was back home, uselessly leaning against my brown shoes. I know now better than to rely on my own sense of style.”

66th over: South Africa 226-5 (Bavuma 11, Philander 4) Philander gets off the mark with a cheery cut for four off Stokes. He has a Test average of 25 and knows how to bat, even if No7 is probably one place too high. Later in the over he survives a strangled LBW shout after inside-edging a big inswinger onto the pads.

65th over: South Africa 222-5 (Bavuma 11, Philander 0) There’s a soupcon of reverse swing for Wood and Stokes, which will encourage England.

“All this talk of belts on the OBO reminds me of my lowest/greatest moment on the cricket field,” says Will Vignoles. “A couple of years ago I dived to take a catch, dropped it, and then had the ignominy of losing my trousers when I hit the ground. Fun times.”

64th over: South Africa 220-5 (Bavuma 9, Philander 0) The new batsman is Vernon Philander.

“Those engaged in the current belt/shorts riff should be careful,” threatens belt fascist David Hopkins. “A couple of years I initiated a similar one regarding the unsuitability of wearing shorts in the workplace. I was smugly confident that I was well in the right, only for the Guardian’s own Hadley Freeman to chip in and confirm that I was in fact in the wrong. Imagine that - being shown to be amongst the less fashion conscious of the OBO readership. I felt lower than a snake’s belly.”

Bairstow takes a brilliant catch down the leg side to dismiss du Plessis. He reviews it straight away, which usually suggests the batsman is innocent. There is a clear deviation, however, and Ultra-Edge suggests it hit his glove first and then his backside. That’s out!

That was a spectacular one-handed catch to add to Bairstow’s increasingly impressive highlights reel. It was a nothing delivery from Stokes but he’ll feel he deserves that wicket after so many near misses in the afternoon. It’s a big wicket for England, and South Africa have slipped from 179 for two to 220 for five.

63rd over: South Africa 218-4 (du Plessis 17, Bavuma 9) Mark Wood replaces Stuart Broad, who bowled a game-altering spell of 5-2-8-2 after tea. Bavuma drags a wide delivery dangerously close to his stumps and then thick-edges an outswinger for four. This is so well poised; by the close the score could easily be 300 for four or 270 for nine.

“We have had plenty of very good bowlers over the last 25 years; Gough, Fraser, Caddick, Hoggard, Harmison and the rest,” says Jon Lewis. “However, the level of Anderson and Broad over such a long period is ridiculous. I know people come out of the shadows, but they are so far ahead of the rest that they feel irreplaceable. Any ideas on who may come next?”

62nd over: South Africa 214-4 (du Plessis 17, Bavuma 5) Anderson has bowled a lot of jaffas today. He’s also bowled more loose balls than usual and there are two in that over, both put away for four by du Plessis. Anderson has gone for 11 boundaries in 17 overs, which is a lot for His Parsimoniousness. The captain du Plessis looks extremely determined to drag his side to a matchwinning score.

“Hi Rob,” says Lorraine Reese. “In keeping with the conversation I found this in my company’s dress code today: Please wear a belt if needed to avoid inadvertently offending others or embarrassing yourself. I have to wonder what necessitated the inclusion of that sentence!”

61st over: South Africa 204-4 (du Plessis 8, Bavuma 4) Bavuma shows Amla how it’s done with a stylish, controlled pull for four to get off the mark. He looks a really good player to me; better than I thought before this series.

“Rob,” says Tom Appleyard. “Socks should not match shoes as this would give the impression of an elongated foot/shoe area and too short a trouser. Socks should complement your trouser and/or match another item with a suit (tie, pocket square etc(though I find this a bit gauche/city boy)) or outfit. Belt to match shoes in a formal/smart outfit. Outside of this, they should complement the outfit. Belt with smart shorts is acceptable. I recommend ‘The Man Book: The Indispensable Guide for the Modern Man’ by Thomas Fink for all things sartorial.”

60th over: South Africa 199-4 (du Plessis 7, Bavuma 0) Anderson slips a jaffa past du Plessis’s outside edge. The next ball is too short and cuffed through cover for four, to Anderson’s considerable distaste. There’s a nice unspoken intensity to this passage of play, with both teams realising how pivotal it could be.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Phil Sawyer. “Those worried about matching belts, socks and other paraphernalia should try being colour blind. It’s great fun and means you never have to worry about it; you also get to guilt trip anyone who points out that your colours are clashing, so there’s that. On the downside, traffic lights and electric plugs can be a bit of an adventure.”

59th over: South Africa 194-4 (du Plessis 2, Bavuma 0) South Africa have picked five bowlers, so Temba Bavuma is the last specialist batsman. England will feel that if they get another quick wicket they could even be batting by the close. Broad is really on one, and has excellent figures of 15-4-29-3.

Stuart Broad is doing it at Trent Bridge again. Amla pulled a bouncer high to long leg, where Wood crouched to take a comfortable catch. That’s Broad’s third wicket of the day and the eighth time he has dismissed Amla in Tests, more than anyone else. Amla played beautifully to make 78 from 149 balls.

58th over: South Africa 193-3 (Amla 78, du Plessis 1) Amla times Anderson down the ground for four, another beautiful stroke. It prompts a great stat from the chaps at Sky: Amla averages 184 against Anderson in Test matches. Make that 186, after another flashing cut stroke for four. It’s not listed in the Radio Times, but Sky Sports are currently showing a Hashim Amla Masterclass.

57th over: South Africa 185-3 (Amla 70, du Plessis 1) Faf du Plessis is beaten by Broad, then works his 14th delivery for a single to get off the mark.

“What a great contest between Amla and Anderson today,” says Brian Withington. “None too shabby for two men supposedly moving into their career twilight years.”

56th over: South Africa 183-3 (Amla 69, du Plessis 0) Amla restarts the scoreboard with a glorious check-drive between extra cover and mid-off for four. Anderson, Amla, Broad, du Plessis: four champions at work, a Test series in the balance. No biggie!

“From your response (42nd over) you are suggesting belts with shorts are as wrong as the American favourite of polo shirt tucked into shorts (often combined with calf length white socks),” says Ben Parker. “ I feel you may have associated the former with the latter thus throwing out the fully acceptable webbing belt with casual short worn perhaps with beach wear or an untucked shirt? I am sure the above fails most of the Guardian writing style guidelines but I do hope it makes sense and maybe opens your mind to the wonderful possibilities of the short and belt combo.”

55th over: South Africa 179-3 (Amla 65, du Plessis 0) This is excellent from Broad and Anderson, who have raised the intensity after tea as they did after lunch. A third consecutive maiden, this time from Broad to du Plessis.

“It’s odd thinking of Quinton de Kock as a player of murderous intent with an intimidating aura, because he’s five foot-not-very-much with the most possibly innocent looking face ever,” says Robert Smithson. “He looks so.... I don’t want to say weedy but I can’t think of a better word. As someone who also happens to be five foot-not-especially-much and lacking the narrow eyes and chiseled features of the average superhero, it gives me some hope. Gwon, Quinton.”

54th over: South Africa 179-3 (Amla 65, du Plessis 0) James Anderson starts at the other end, which means we have four thirtysomethings having an arm-wrestle for supremacy. It’s another maiden from Anderson, in which Amla is beaten by a lovely outswinger.

53rd over: South Africa 179-3 (Amla 65, du Plessis 0) This is Faf du Plessis’s first Test in England. He made his debut just after the last tour of 2012. He leaves a ball from Broad that doesn’t miss the off stump by all that much, prompting a few growls and oohs from the England fielders. A wicket maiden from Broad.

“It might seem obvious to somare pumping e, but how does one match belts to shoes?” writes Nick Williamson. “I remember reading a GQ article in my youth that suggested that socks should match the darkest part of your shoe. So tan shoes with a black sole demand black socks. Do belts work in the same way? It’s perhaps worth mentioning that I recently collected my 16-year-old daughter from the railway station wearing a predominantly purple tie dye t-shirt, beige cargo shorts, white sport socks and a tatty pair of Crocs. And GOT OUT OF THE CAR and demanded a hug. So I’m interested purely from a theoretical point of view.”

Broad strikes with the first ball after tea! Quinton de Kock tried to cut a ball that swerved away, took the edge and flew to Cook at first slip. He couldn’t hold it but grabbed it gleefully at the second attempt. That was a very good innings from de Kock, 68 from 81 balls in his new role at No4.

There are 38 overs to bowl in this evening session, which will be fun for my fingers, brain and bladder. Stuart Broad replaces Moeen Ali for what is an extremely important spell in the context of this match. If Amla and de Kock are still batting at 5pm, England will be knee deep in the malodorous stuff.

“What is a good score in this South African innings, based on the showing so far?” says Matt Porter. “Circa 400?”

The Sky chaps seem to think batting will become hard work on the last couple of days, so 400 – with five bowlers – would put them in a really good position. Also, 400 is the safest number for ‘If in doubt, say X is a good score.’

52nd over: South Africa 179-2 (Amla 65, de Kock 68) Ach! Amla top-edges a hook off Stokes, with the ball going miles in the air before dropping short of Wood at long leg. Stokes has been a major wicket-taking threat in this spell. He will always go for runs, however, and Amla check-drives a majestic boundary later in the over. That concludes a wonderful session for South Africa; they scored 123 for one in 29 overs, with Quinton de Kock breezing to 68 not out in his first Test innings at No4. See you in half an hour for what could be a long evening session for England’s bowlers.

51st over: South Africa 173-2 (Amla 60, de Kock 67) “It hasn’t taken long for the gloom-mongers to sharpen their scythes and pull the hood down a bit further over their mottled brows,” sniffs Ian Copestake. “Even if South Africa get 500 today, Joe Root is still from Yorkshire and England still have skill-sets.”

This is little more than an exploratory spell before tea for Moeen, who might get an extended bowl after his Earl Grey. His fourth over is an excellent maiden to de Kock.

50th over: South Africa 173-2 (Amla 60, de Kock 67) de Kock feels for a good outswinger from Stokes, edging it wide of gully at catchable height for four. Although Stokes has had little luck in this second spell, the generational dichotomy in performance is notable. Anderson and Broad have taken two for 60 from 23 overs; the rest have nought for 107 from 27.

49th over: South Africa 168-2 (Amla 60, de Kock 59) England look flat and need the tea break. I bet Trevor Bayliss is going to go seriously Churchill on them. A pleasant drive from de Kock brings up a hugely impressive century partnership.

48th over: South Africa 165-2 (Amla 60, de Kock 59) de Kock hits Stokes for consecutive boundaries. The first was fortunate, an inside edge that just missed the stumps, but the second was an outrageous flick-pull through wide mid-on. The dreamy, slow-motion timing brought the best of Kevin Pietersen to mind. This fella is a serious talent.

“I’ve only recently learned about the apparent pitfalls of belts too,” says Paul Billington. “By chance it was through an internet rant from someone bemoaning men who couldn’t match the colour of their belt to their shoes. I didn’t realise this was A Thing, and given that I rarely wear a belt and spend my life in flip-flops this caused me some concern. But then I saw this person refer to shoes as ‘wheels’ and didn’t feel as bad.”

47th over: South Africa 156-2 (Amla 60, de Kock 50) de Kock drives Moeen down the ground to reach a simply brilliant fifty from 59 balls. It has changed the match and maybe the series. It’ll be a while before South Africa are looking for a new No4.

46th over: South Africa 153-2 (Amla 59, de Kock 48) de Kock cuts Stokes wristily for four more. Stokes’ bowling hasn’t developed anything like as much as his batting. I have precisely no idea why. He still bowls some sensational spells but his mean, median and mode performances don’t register on the Botham/Flintoff scale.

“Belts by colour,” says our venerable fashionista, John Starbuck. “Depends on how many trousers you have and what colour they are. I always have a minimum of four belts: black, brown, dark blue, light blue to match the garments. I used to have a white belt, but as it was made of interlinked leather loops it didn’t last as long as the others.”

45th over: South Africa 146-2 (Amla 58, de Kock 42) Moeen comes into the attack in place of Mark Wood. His fourth is a moonball, or perhaps a Moeenball, that Amla laps for one; then the impressive de Kock works three more off the pads.

“Can’t help feeling that England have wasted the first day,” says Sachin Paul. “Take nothing away from Amla and De Kock but some of the bowling has been markedly bad. It’s hard to pin point who exactly (Wood) but some people (Wood) haven’t benefitted from not bowling much at Lord’s (Wood).”

44th over: South Africa 142-2 (Amla 57, de Kock 39) England look slightly irritated, probably a consequence of the speed with which de Kock and Amla have put them on the back foot. It’s been a terrific partnership, reminiscent of the stand between Graham Thorpe and Mike Atherton in similar circumstances at Headingley in 1994. That turned a potential whitewash into a superb contest that ended 1-1. Time will tell whether this does the same.

“If England are going to persist in this ploy of picking someone as specialist ‘build-up-Moeen’s-confidence guy’ – could I put myself forward?” says Ian Truman. “I’d continually get out to him in the nets, sure I’d bowl a tiny bit worse than Dawson, but I’d make up by that by getting visibly aroused if I got to bat at the other end to Moeen. Swings and roundabouts and all that.”

43rd over: South Africa 140-2 (Amla 56, de Kock 38) Maybe it was a chance to Cook after all. Yes, I think it was. It just about carried and slithered through Cook’s hands. He might regret that in the morning.

“Imagine if de Kock was English - the hype would be off the scale,” says Andrew Hurley. “Look at the hype around Stokes, look at his figures and de Kockmania would surely be under way.... a hugely exciting cricketer.”

42nd over: South Africa 139-2 (Amla 56, de Kock 37) Ben Stokes replaces Liam Dawson. Moeen Ali - who TOOK 10 BLOODY WICKETS AT LORD’S, JOE! - continues to graze in the field. Amla chases a wide one and edges it this far short of Cook at first slip. It almost came to him on the half-volley. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a chance, though it’d be good to see it again. Real good.

“What about shorts with belts,” says Stephen Ryan. “Is that acceptable?”

41st over: South Africa 137-2 (Amla 55, de Kock 36) de Kock rifles Wood into the covers, where somebody (Anderson I think) saves four with an excellent dive. A maiden, and a timely one for England.

In other news, here’s Gary Naylor. “Though it’s tempting to write simply HOW GOOD IS QUINTON DE KOCK!, how good is Quinton de Kock? Are we talking in terms of Brian Lara yet - he’s the closest comparison I can come up with in terms of stature, power, timing and intimidatory presence. Too soon probably, but still.”

40th over: South Africa 137-2 (Amla 55, de Kock 36) de Kock is batting pretty majestically here. He guides Dawson behind square on the off side for four and dumps another boundary back over the bowler’s head two balls later. He has 36 from 35 balls and has seized the momentum in the match and maybe even the series. Dawson, in theory England’s control bowler, has gone for 19 from three overs.

39th over: South Africa 127-2 (Amla 55, de Kock 27) de Kock has changed the tempo and mood of this match. Before he came in it was largely about whether South Africa could survive; now it’s about whether England can contain a partnership that is rattling along at almost six an over. Amla flicks a stray one from Wood off his pads for four more.

“I’d always been a one belt man, but it was pointed out to me that I second belt might be handy if I misplaced the first,” says Pete Salmon. “Thus I call this second belt my ‘belt and braces belt’.”

38th over: South Africa 121-2 (Amla 50, de Kock 24) Amla reaches his fifty with an apparently effortless straight six off Dawson, the ball landing right on the boundary rope, or toblerone, or whatever we call it these days. South Africa have a much stronger middle order in this match, and they have a great chance to take control of the match.

Cheers Adam, hello all. Contrary to the old saying, class isn’t permanent. Age gets everyone in the end, and at 34, Hashim Amla is undeniably past his best. There’s class in the old dog yet, however, and we should savour every last languorous stroke because it will be a while before we see a player who combines productivity and elegant serenity to the same extent.

He has played extremely well against some terrific England bowling, and his partnerships with the dogged Heino Kuhn and the formidable Quinton de Kock have given South Africa a decent chance of maximising Faf du Plessis’ brave, Old Trafford 97ish decision to bat first.

37th over: South Africa 114-2 (Amla 44, de Kock 24). Bang, bang! Wood has been frugal today so far, but de Kock won’t be having that. Crunch past point to begin this over, then flicking through the onside to make it eight in two balls. Very nice timing, Quinton. He keeps going: a cover drive, albeit not as well struck, gets him three. Then the batsmen exchange prods into the onside for singles. That’s a big one, 13 taken all up as drinks are brought onto the field.

And that also signals time for me to sign off as well. Luckily for you lot, it’s the genre’s best Rob Smyth taking you through the second half of the day. I’ll be back with you on Sunday for much of the same on the OBO Thanks for your very enjoyable company. For now, I’m off to Taunton for Australia vs South Africa tomorrow in the Women’s World Cup. Until then.

36th over: South Africa 101-2 (Amla 43, de Kock 12). Spin for the first time today, via Liam Dawson. Bringing de Kock forward, pushing through the first few deliveries. Bit more air gives the left-hander the incentive to drive, he doesn’t get all of it though, spilling out to deep point but not going as far as the rope. Three taken. I’m nearly handing over to Rob, but from Rich to close this storyline. And that brings up South Africa’s 100.

“Well done for mentioning Becky Slater. No mentions on OBO before, which is clearly a massive oversight by the whole community. Also, good nomination for best scene. In response, I must let you know my favourite opening scene, from an episode which features Becky prominently. Excellent use of music as ever, and really captures what it’s like to be 13 year old falling in love.”

35th over: South Africa 98-2 (Amla 43, de Kock 9). Wood is back. de Kock gets out of the firing line straight away, a single to forward square leg. England’s quickest hurried up Amla routinely before lunch, and makes him five times on the trot here. Consistent in length, keeping him on the front foot for the most part.

34th over: South Africa 97-2 (Amla 43, de Kock 8). Broad gets de Kock edging this time, three to third man which remains vacant. Amla more patient in defence this time around.

Tom Leversley has slid into my inbox. “Very jealous of your count of nine PCJs, Adam. I’ve still got the one my grandma knitted for me 35 years ago and I think that’s it.” I’m sure you would never sell it, but I would buy it. I once offered a drunk $400 cash for an Australia ‘A’ 1994-95 shirt. He wouldn’t take it. Some things are more important than money.

33rd over: South Africa 94-2 (Amla 43, de Kock 5). Falling just short is an edge to Root in the cordon. I think Amla took his hands off that, or tried to avoid it in any case. Later on, he goes hard at Anderson with the horizontal bat, unconvincingly to the backward point rope. Another edge - this time the inside variety - gets him two more ropey runs to end the over.

Richard O’Hagan gets right of reply to tie this little storyline off. “I should’ve said ‘every male commentator’. I would never deliberately ignore the world’s most gifted singing academic journalist, Dr Carrie Dunn. ‘Caroline’ could also be justified as it’s my wife/Littlest OBOer’s mother’s name.”

32nd over: South Africa 88-2 (Amla 37, de Kock 5). Broad is not letting up from the Pavilion End. The action is at the back end of the over. First, Amla tries to pull and it goes high in the air. There are two men out there for that very stroke but it goes to the region of neither. Very lucky to survive. Facing the final ball, de Kock is on the receiving end of a gem. Broad from around the wicket angles it into middle stump before beating the edge and the woodwork. Freddie 2005 levels of unplayability.

31st over: South Africa 86-2 (Amla 36, de Kock 4). Less movement for Jimmy now. Probably the last of his set, I reckon. Maintains a straight line to both, but neither too bothered this time around.

I’m very pleased to say that Robert Wilson has dropped me a line. I’ve been to Paris twice recently and both times scoulded myself upon returning to London for not trying to meet him in real life. Next time, Bob. We gotta.

30th over: South Africa 83-2 (Amla 36, de Kock 3). Oh that’s a lovely off-drive from Amla. It’s now he who is moving through the gears after getting through that torid period just after lunch. They score from three of the last four balls forward to square, suggesting that with de Kock riding shot-gun the board will immediately tick over at a greater clip. Eight from it. Biggest of the day.

Meanwhile, referencing Vish’s superb last line in his interview with Nat Sciver up this morning, Michael Chilcott has found a ripper. “Brilliant last line pay-off” he says. It sure is. Advance Australia Fair, my friends. Advance Australia Fair.

29th over: South Africa 75-2 (Amla 31, de Kock 0). Another Jimmy gem. “Almost goes like a leg-break,” the assessment of Nasser as he beats Amla’s bat. Oh, and he does it again. Say what you will about Jimmy’s injury-prone nature of late. Anyone who can still do what he is doing here has a place in international cricket. One holds its line to end the over, Amla tentatively forward after the couple that went by his bat, saved by an inside edge. Class. The South African legend did profit by four through a powerful punch as the over began. So much of how the day plays out from here will be dictated by Amla’s stay.

Smylers wants to make an addition to the OBO baby names menu that Richard O’Hagan detailed over lunch for us. “His list of ‘every’ OBO writer up to 2007 somehow omitted Carrie Dunne, who happily steered the OBO readers through collective drinks breaks during the 2006 season. https://www.theguardian.com/profile/carriedunn+sport/cricket Admittedly, Caroline would be an unusual middle name for a boy, but burried in the middle of that list you could probably style it out.”

28th over: South Africa 70-2 (Amla 26, de Kock 0). So, it’s de Kock elevated to four. I don’t mind that. A class act by any measure. First up, he gets inside the line to Broad and it reflects of the pad down to the rope, four sundries. But that won’t bother England too much. They have their breakthrough in the over.

WICKET! @StuartBroad8 bowls Kuhn for 34!

SA 66/2 #ENGvSA

Live: https://t.co/RyVdFp0gNgpic.twitter.com/0BtvWI01GP

Just the ticket! Broad has moved the ball significantly to the right-handers since the break, and has finally got one through, via the inside edge onto the woodwork. Kuhn wasn’t able to add to his pre-lunch total. Quality fast bowling. They’ve earned that.

27th over: South Africa 63-1 (Kuhn 34, Amla 23). Another shout for leg before. This time Anderson on Amla. Again it is high, though. Jimmy maintains the straight attacking line to him and is taken through midwicket for three. That gets him back outside off-stump to end the set. Quality contest here.

What isn’t a contest: the side who are wearing their Proper Cricket Jumpers better. South Africa are matching their cable-knit, white-on-white. England haven’t updated the wardrobe since Lord’s, so it remains white-on-cream. Has anyone got to the botton of this? It wasn’t like this at the launch of the new clobber a couple months back. It’s all rather amusing for those who take a strong interest in kit, especially PCJs (I have nine. I know, I know).

26th over: South Africa 60-1 (Kuhn 34, Amla 20). Two great diving takes from Bairstow that over, needing to go full-length to his left with one hand as Broad twice sprays down the legside, suggesting a decent dollop of reverse swing. Bairstow’s keeping has come a long way over twelve months. This time last year he was good for one terrible dropped catch an innings. Broad is back on song by the back of the over though, winning an Amla top edge hooking. On another day that could end up with fine leg, no worries. Then: cutting Kuhn in half with another that comes back a mile. Dangerous period for South Africa. But the flip of that is that England must strike again while they are on top. Cricket Gods, and all that.

25th over: South Africa 59-1 (Kuhn 34, Amla 19). Oh, Jimmy Jimmy. First over back and he’s beaten Amla with a doozy. Classic Anderson, angling into the right hander before swinging away wildly. Nice stop in the gully - I think it was Dawson - saves runs from the penultimate delivery from a thick edge. But Amla does well to clip the final deliver, one that doesn’t swing, to square leg for three to finish off.

Broad has now talked three different England Test captains into outlandish DRS reviews. Such consistency.

24th over: South Africa 56-1 (Kuhn 34, Amla 16). Another leg-before shout to end the over, going well down. Even Broad pulls out of that appeal. A maiden the result. Encouraging for England with Broad beating the bat, but in the modern game it can bite hard when reviews are churned through early.

OUT OF REVIEWS! England lose their second with Broad's ball to Kuhn set to bounce over stumps. No LBW! BLOG: https://t.co/uZQ74JXOjA#ENGvSApic.twitter.com/KXQ2eCfKHa

HE HASN’T. NOT OUT. Well then. Both reviews gone 23.3 overs into the innings. Bairstow had a hand in that one, saying from behind the wickets that he liked it. But it was bouncing well over leg stump. That stings.

IS KUHN LBW? Ump says no. Root, again, says yes. DRS to come. Has Broad done it straight after lunch?

Last bit before we come back: OBO Occasionals shout out.

Joe Neat has been in touch. The floor is his.

Names, names, names. And ice hockey.And Winnie Cooper. “Our dog is called Hobbs after Sir Jack,” says Mark Oliver. “New puppy Aug - thinking Wilf (Rhodes) or Herby (Sutcliffe) - thoughts?!”

I know I talked down naming a kid after a cricketer before. But I’ve said repeatedly that the next pet I get will be called Statsguru after the cricinfo stats engine.

More great stuff. From Richard O’Hagan in addition to his story below. “To give a little more context, my wife won an OBO competition to win one of Sean Ingle’s shirts(!) by promising to wear it whilst in labour. Things kind of went on from there!” Let’s stop and pause to consider that paragraph.

Right. Go on, then. “The names are those of every OBO commentator to that point, in order of appearance (bar Lawrence’s). I don’t think we’d do the same for another child, especially as I can’t spell Vish’s full name correctly.” Not sure I can either, and I spent approximately every waking hour talking to him. We’re cute like that.

Faf du Plessis said at the toss that it would be a tough first hour. And it was. Anderson and Broad were right on-point, swinging it the way they do. Helped along the way with decent seam assistance as well. On another day, the way they bowled would earn a slew of wickets.

But it wasn’t the case. Elgar pushed hard when he needn’t have to get Anderson in the book for the 300th time on home soil, but that was all. The credit principally goes to Heino Kuhn. At 33 years of age, his Test career could have been two games and no further had he fell cheaply again here as he did twice at Lord’s last week. He definitely received the best of the early barrage.

LUNCH: 23rd over: South Africa 56-1 (Kuhn 34, Amla 16). “A brave decision to bat first,” the assessment of Nasser as the South African pair leave the field at lunch, Amla seeing off Stokes’ final over of the session without any drama. That it was. I’ll wrap it up in a tic.

While I do that, this is quite brilliant from Richard O’Hagan who pinged this email to Lawrence Booth in his OBO days back on 24 September 2007 (!): “May I use the medium of OBO to thank all of the OBOers who have contacted me to welcome the arrival of Littlest OBOer? He doesn’t have a name yet, but obviously Lawrence Robert Sean Scott Murray Paul Barry James Michael Andrew Thomas Paolo Samuel O’Hagan is a possibilty, if only because it will annoy the compilers of scorecards for years to come.”

22nd over: South Africa 56-1 (Kuhn 34, Amla 16). Up the gears Kuhn goes before lunch, boundaries in three consecutive overs. Not much a delivery that he profits from, short on his body, through square leg with nice timing. Considering the rugged old start he had with Anderson and Broad to begin, this has been a fine performance. More on that when we get to lunch at the end of the next over.

“KUHN!!!!” #ENGvSApic.twitter.com/7M5p5wjJdo

21st over: South Africa 51-1 (Kuhn 30, Amla 15). Stokes to Amla. He turns the strike over to midwicket half way through the set. Oh here’s Kuhn’s shot of the morning, absolutely creamed that back foot drive. Cut shot, almost, on reflection. Either way, it’s four runs. Would have travelled twice the required distance it was hit that well. With that, the visitors’ 50 is up. Good going from them.

20th over: South Africa 46-1 (Kuhn 26, Amla 14). Phwoar. Wood beaten Kuhn with an absolute beauty second ball back after rain for him. Pitched in line with off stump, spat away. Had to play. Missed the edge. The opener is jumpy against Wood, turning around to defend the next delivery front-on. Sure enough though, as he has all morning, Kuhn stays cool. When Wood misses a fraction wide he’s on top of the bounce and punching well through cover to the rope. Enjoyed his work. Deserves to get to lunch. Probably three overs until the break now.

A special bowler. pic.twitter.com/CmuOZaLFly

NOT OUT! He’s smaaaashed it. Bad review. Bad hit pad. Doubt it was hitting in line anyway. TV confirms. “I thought it was an emotional review from Stokes,” says Nas.

19th over: South Africa 42-1 (Kuhn 22, Amla 14)

THEY’RE BACK! HAS STOKES TRAPPED AMLA? Umpire says no. Root says yes. DRS to decide! Stand by!

Let’s race through that corro.

My favourite of the day so far, Peter Salmon. “Regarding swappable names, as an Australian you might remember Gaslight Records in Melbourne, who used to have a calendar with different things each day for which you could get a free cd. One day the free cd was for having a first and last name that could be swapped. My friend Charles Davie was there in a flash, and did very nicely. You could also go in nude one day – the store was usually packed. But my favourite remains ‘Prove you are a photographer for a real estate agent’. Not sure that job still exists or whether agents do it themselves, but was lovely to see such an obscure job get a nod.” Not much encouragement required to get our kit off in that part of Melbourne.

Restart 12:45pm. Confirmed now on the TV. So only a brief stay off the ground. Good news.

This gives me an opportunity. To talk about another England side in operation at the moment. Ben Walker from the ECB has kindly brought me up to speed with the progress of the Learning Disability national side who are flying in their tri-series at the moment, smashing South Africa by 224 runs yesterday. The 40-over final is coming up on Monday. And how’s this: Dan Bowser made 108 from only 56 balls and went from 50 to 100 in 12 deliveries! HAVE THAT.

They are playing Australia today at Tattenhall Cricket Club. Google tells me up that’s up Liverpool way. If you’re about, and drop in, please say g’day to Lachlan MacRae from the Aussie team. He played under my captaincy for a couple of seasons at the Endeavour Hills CC in Melbourne. Has serious wheels. And a lovely kid.

Dan Bowser went from 50 to 100 in just 1️⃣2️⃣ balls as England Learning Disability defeated South Africa by 224 runs!

Report to follow... pic.twitter.com/9Ry8GdYrnn

18.4 overs: South Africa 42-1 (Kuhn 22, Amla 10). Whaaaat? Rain? “From nowhere,” declares David Gower on the TV. It’s only a brief shower. A brief David Gower, if you like. It’s what I call mine. Anyway, he tells us they’ll be back before long, but the are very much off the field for now. Before the interuption Amla played the shot of the morning off Stokes. On the back foot up nice and high, crunching through point ala Joe Root.

18th over: South Africa 37-1 (Kuhn 21, Amla 10). I wonder what those sitting near me must be thinking as I keep instinctively going “oooyyyy” (or something like that) each time Wood passes the edge? As he does second up here to Amla with a beaut. But it’s the batsman who enjoys the better of the over, whipping a shorter delivery through the on-side for his second boundary. In doing so Hashim Amla brings up his 8000th Test run. A gentle acknowledgement as the announcement goes up. The third South African to get there. What a champion. More on him later. I’m sure Vic and Ali will be writing lovely words at stumps, especially if he goes on to make a score.

17th over: South Africa 33-1 (Kuhn 21, Amla 6). Better from Stokes. Helped by his field, a four saved early in the set when Kuhn drives. He mixes things up with a couple outside the off-stump, then a bumper to keep the opener on his toes. A maiden it is

16th over: South Africa 33-1 (Kuhn 21, Amla 6). Wood nearly completes three maidens on the bounce. He’s maintaining a very honest line to Amla, not giving him the chance to leave anything alone. But he’s a bit full to finish, the South African collecting his first boundary with a belt-and-braces push through the covers. Two away from 8000.

Okay, one more. Ben Powell: “Our daughter was born on 3 December 2010 and I lobbied hard for Adelaide as an eminently suitable name. That lobbying continue for, oh, the next 4 or 5 days. Sadly, my wife was not to be swayed.”

15th over: South Africa 29-1 (Kuhn 21, Amla 2). Fuelled by some raspberry cordial, Ben Stokes on for his first jam roll of the day. And Kuhn enjoys the change, leaning onto the front foot for a picture-perfect cover drive. Really nice sound as it hits the middle of the bat. He’s into the 20s. Deservedly so. Stokes not quite on the mark here, a couple well wide. But it won’t take him long to work into it. His spell in the second dig at this ground in 2015 one of the best displays of swing bowling I’ve seen. Last ball of the over is in the channel. Better.

You’re still coming hard at me with names. And I love you for it, I truly do. But I think we have to move off it. Colin Noble takes it forward though, on procreation and Paul Collingwood. “I don’t know anyone who named their son after Paul Collingwood but my best mate did name his son Vaughan (born 2006 in case you were wondering) which also conveniently clears up the Rich’s confusion as to whether this qualified as a first name.”

14th over: South Africa 25-1 (Kuhn 17, Amla 2). Last over before drinks. Wood’s second maiden to begin. To Amla this time, who has a question to answer each time. Defending cautiously, then leaving close to his stumps. Quality start. There’s a shout for lbw in there too, but it is well above the knee-roll. They take a breather.

13th over: South Africa 25-1 (Kuhn 17, Amla 2). Broad tells Jimmy through stump mic that the ball is shining up nicely. But he probably needs to have a blow, this over the least threatening of his seven to date. In saying that, he wins an error from Kuhn, who has a lash at the last one in the gully region. But no miracle catch from Stokes this time, beyond even his diving talents.

#TheMightyDucks turns 25 this year – here's an ace on-set snap of the cast #ThrowbackOfTheDaypic.twitter.com/cAPdvkm41J

12th over: South Africa 20-1 (Kuhn 13, Amla 1). Mark Wood has just gotten himself on the plane to Australia. Not that he wasn’t on there anyway. But with a bouncer to Kuhn - a very quick bouncer that hits him in the head - he shows that he has that yard that you need in Brisbane. Thankfully, he’s fine. Turned his head on it before contact was made to the back of the lid. The second time that medical attention has been required this morning, having earlier copped one on the hand. Rapid from Wood throughout. Maiden to begin for him.

To round out name chat, and thanks for playing of course. Phil Sawyer has Paul David Collingwood. I didn’t think it worked. But he justifies: “I’ll bet the vast majority of OBOers would like to call one of their offspring Collingwood in honour of the great man.”

11th over: South Africa 20-1 (Kuhn 13, Amla 1). Tidy maiden from Anderson to Amla. These two know each other as well as any in world cricket. Atherton on the TV shows that his fullest delivery today was the one that picked up the wicket of Elgar. He beats Amla first up. He’s safely defending and leaving thereafter. Jimmy’s second maiden.

Now, I’ve created a monster asking you lot to hit me up with triple-barrel names. You’ve really tucked in. I’ll do my best.

10th over: South Africa 20-1 (Kuhn 13, Amla 1). Amla to the crease. He requires eight runs today in order to become South Africa’s third man to 8000 in Tests. What a mighty player. He gets the first of those from his hip. A bit uppish, but he’s on the board. On the telly Ian Botham makes some quip about the wasted money of Nasser’s tertiary education. Not sure of the context. Probably for the best. Chatting to Nick Miller across the desk here, we’re in agreeance that Botham would have “University of Life” and “School of Hard Knocks” listed on facebook for where he went. Later in the over, Kuhn tries to smash Broad through cover and misses by a long way. First moment of poor batting from him this morning.

What a snaffle! Dawson at backward point had plenty of ground to make up to his right and timed the dive beautifully. Elgar has steered Anderson through the air, miscuing the stroke from the outside half of the bat. The great man is in the book and England are away, but it’s the catch that will give the Three Lions spinner plenty of confidence there ahead of his shift with the ball later on. Jimmy’s 300th Test wicket in England. Lad.

9th over: South Africa 18-1 (Kuhn 13, Amla 0).

8th over: South Africa 18-0 (Elgar 6, Kuhn 12). One off the pads from Elgar to start against Broad. That’s the way to do it. Get down the other end when Broad has it in his hand. He’s penetrative throughout, but Kuhn is up to it, growing in confidence with each defensive stroke. Oops - except the last one. That’s quick and nasty, hitting him on the gloves. The doctor required for a look between overs. But he’s okay.

7th over: South Africa 17-0 (Elgar 5, Kuhn 12). Fair play to Heino Kuhn. Debuting at age 33 at Lord’s he was out twice in single digits. He’d probably know another double-failure here and it’s two and out for him. Yet here he is, against some class fast bowling, persisting then prospering. It’s a lovely full-blooded clobber off the back foot that punctuates this Anderson over, racing out to the rope. Good cricket. Into double figures for the first time. Not for nothing.

6th over: South Africa 13-0 (Elgar 5, Kuhn 8). Nasty Stu. Second up here he’s smashing into Kuhn’s thigh with one that jags with venom. But the pattern continues, the opener retaining his cool then getting off strike with a clip. One ball to negotiate, Elgar is edging, but thickly. To the third man rope it goes. His first four.

Speaking of names, the man with the best in blogging, Johnny Starbuck, has dropped in. Hello. “You may have been there on the day Stuart Broad skirted the Australians but did you get the T-shirt? I did, it lists the entire Aussie innings in figures and wickets. Still have it, too.”

5th over: South Africa 8-0 (Elgar 1, Kuhn 7). Good over for South Africa. Kuhn looked ripe to be worked over but has the confidence to get on the front dog and drive straight down the ground for a well-timed boundary. The first of the Test. Anderson beats the bat later in the set, striking the front pad. Jimmy doesn’t mind it, and has a chat to the captain Root. He’s right to deny the DRS challenge though as it’s missing leg-stump. A single off the pads towards backward square means he’ll keep the strike. Whether that’s a good thing or not with Broad going the way he is, time will tell.

Ed Taylor has an interesting take on names. “Good morning.” And to you, comrade. “While Christopher Henry Morris may be three forenames, it is also three surnames. There cannot be many cricketers over time with three names that can be used for either a first or family name?”

4th over: South Africa 2-0 (Elgar 1, Kuhn 2). Broad is putting on a clinic here. The jag he gets back into Kuhn has only just missed off-stump. The batsman had no chance. When Elgar is up the business end the test is equally challenging, the final ball cutting him in half whilst also moving away. I didn’t know that was possible. There’s a noise and Broad likes it - he always does, bless - but Pistol Paul Reiffel knows it was more thigh pad than edge. Correctly assessed, TV confirms.

3rd over: South Africa 2-0 (Elgar 1, Kuhn 1). This will require every bit of skill Kuhn has. Anderson beats him brutally with the first of the fresh set. It’s done a truckload away from the right-hander. But a nice response, absorbing a couple of deliveries off the shoulder off the bat before pushing into cover for a quickish single to get off the mark. Chuck the telly on, this is good.

As much as I'm missing my dogs after almost seven weeks on tour. https://t.co/W3cHSoE7vj

2nd over: South Africa 1-0 (Elgar 1, Kuhn 0). Broad is coming from the Pavilion End. Get in. First up, around the wicket, has Elgar prodding to a ball that’s tailing. Into the wind, Shane Warne tells us. This is perfect bowling. Every delivery angling in and moving away. Elgar up to it, soft hands to each as they spit into the cordon. He does spray the penultimate delivery, but it’s the only respite. Maiden.

Ian Copesake is with us on the email about that cordon. As Warne would say (several times): “Nine slips needed, I reckon.” He has four. But could easily justify a couple more on the available evidence there.

1st over: South Africa 1-0 (Elgar 1, Kuhn 0). Elgar turns one square to begin. Then Jimmy finds his happy place with one that hooooops away from Kuhn first up. Late swing, the best kind of swing. Wins an outside edge next up, albeit straight along the carpet. He averages 19.3 at the ground, 53 scalps including two ten-wicket matches. As you do, Jimmy. To think some people reckon you’re no good. Trust me, I’m Australian, they exist. Much the same throughout the set, squaring up the opener routinely. He’s on.

Jimmy has the ball in his hand. Let’s play.

One more thing before we start.

We have quite a few England teams going around, with the women going wonderfully. Vish has written a up a cracking interview with Nat Sciver. Read all the way to the end, as it is one of the great sign-offs to a piece. Expect more Women’s World Cup chat from me as we go through the morning. Shaping up as an excellent tournament and the hosts are top of the pops with one group game to go.

Related: ‘Natmeg needs some luck’, says England’s cricketing innovator Nat Sciver

We’re all gathering.

Andy Wilson has dropped me a line. No, not that Andy Wilson. I hope he’s reading from ECB Towers, mind.
“I am not ‘pretending to work’! I have not even read your excellent preview. It has just been solid effort from me. I probably won’t even glance at the OBO. Just graft on,” Thanks Andy.

Related: ‘The nastiest match I ever played in’: England v South Africa, Headingley 1998 | Rob Smyth

To confirm those XIs

England: Cook, Jennings, Ballance, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Moeen, Dawson, Broad, Wood, Anderson.

“The first hour will be a challenge but we’re ready for it,” says Faf. Joe Root says they were going to have a trundle anyway. So they’re all happy.

England unchanged as expected. Chris Morris is into the South African XI alongside the skipper and Duanne Olivier. Duminy and du Bruyn left out, Rabada suspended.

A good morning to you all. As they all are at the start of a Test. A fresh track, expectations, a buoyant crowd. All the bits and pieces that make our game special.

Of course, the previous time we were at Nottingham Stuart Broad had his perfect day and won the Ashes in the space of about 45 minutes. As an Australian I’m constitutionally obliged to say that I’m still in therapy about that. But that’s a lie, I loved it too.

Adam will be here shortly. Here’s Vic Marks on the long-term puzzle for Joe Root after his perfect start as England Test captain:

Joe Root recognises it cannot possibly be so simple in Nottingham. The expectation is that the pitch will not deteriorate so rapidly and that South Africa, with the return of their captain, Faf du Plessis, will rediscover the discipline that has often been their hallmark.

Usually they hold their catches and it would be surprising and a source of much distress in their camp if their bowlers overstepped as frequently as they did at Lord’s. Sadly Kagiso Rabada, banned for one game thanks to his own exuberance, the intrusive presence of the stump mic and a blinkered adherence to the letter of the law, will not be one of those bowlers.

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Australia beat South Africa by 59 runs: Women's World Cup – as it happened

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Australia were just too strong for South Africa and set up a semi-final against India, who thrashed New Zealand, in Derby on Thursday. South Africa face England on Tuesday for a place in the final

This seems as good a time as any for me to bid you farewell. Australia were just two good there, too clinical for South Africa, who face England now. Can’t escape the sense that the final will be between England and Australia, which really would be great fun. There will be reports on the site shortly no doubt, and I will be back on Tuesday with Vish Ehantharajah for England’s semi-final with South Africa. Until then! Have a great weekend...

Well that was a strange game. Australia’s total always looked good, but really should have been quite a lot bigger, and they lost some very curious wickets. Then South Africa’s chase was going nicely for 30-35 overs, but fell away and was strangled by some excellent spin bowling.

What it means, is that Australia finish second, because England are just about to beat West Indies (the ninth wicket has just fallen). India, who thrashed New Zealand earlier, finish third. Here’s our semi-final lineup:

50th over: South Africa 210 all out (Daniels 7*) The last over, bowled by Schutt, begins with a bad missed run out chance from Haynes at short cover. After that, it’s just a gentle knockabout. Ismail plays a nice cover drive for one, but then holes out to the final ball of the innings, driving straight to mid-off! She made a really fine 26 as things died down. But Australia win!

49th over: South Africa 207-9 (Ismail 25, Daniels 5) Perry to bowl her last. She’s done nicely today, but her pride will be dented a touch by the sight of Daniels glancing her for a fine four. A legside wide follows to bring up the 200. There’s an edged single to third man later in the over that brings Ismail on strike. She goes high and handsome down the ground, it looks like it’s going for four but a quite brilliant bit of fielding, running back from mid-on, keeps it to two. Haynes, running full speed, flicks the ball back in to play. Magic. Perry’s last goes for four: slashed through cover. She finishes with two for 47.

48th over: South Africa 195-9 (Ismail 19, Daniels 1) Well, Ismail’s having fun. She heaves Beams over the legside for a swept four. There’s a single, and Daniels pinches the stroke off the last ball. Beams finishes with one for 28 from her 10. Very well bowled.

47th over: South Africa 189-9 (Ismail 14, Daniels 0) Oh yes, Shabi Ismail. She drives the returning Perry over mid-off for four. Next ball she steps away to “access the offside”, but misses, and then defends to mid-off. One more came from the over.

INDIA HAVE BEATEN NEW ZEALAND BY 186 RUNS AND QUALIFY FOR THE SEMI-FINALS! New Zealand were bowled out for just 79. Oh dear.

46th over: South Africa 184-9 (Ismail 9, Daniels 0) Daniels is in, and looking a touch reluctant, but she survives two balls from Beams. Well done her. Four overs left.

I was starting to wonder if those two might bat out the overs, but Klaas is gone, and finally a wicket form beams, who bowled beautifully. It’s flat again and just skids through her defences. Castled.

45th over: South Africa 183-8 (Ismail 8, Klaas 9) Gardner’s last is a really nice over. Not quite sure how she hasn’t taken a wicket. Two chances escape Australia in this over: a spoon from Ismail lands safe, then she dances down, misses and Healy spurns the stumping chance! Oh well, just one from the over, and her 10 overs cost just 31. Great effort.

44th over: South Africa 182-8 (Ismail 7, Klaas 9) Beams returns, and there are three dots to start, then a really flat toppie takes Klaas’s inside edge and runs away for two. Those are the only runs from the over.

43rd over: South Africa 180-8 (Ismail 7, Klaas 7) Haynes decides it’s time for spin from both ends. Maybe she wants to get on the bus to Derby ahead of Thursday’s semi. Barring something remarkable, that’ll be what happens. It’s a good over, with just two singles from it. There’s a drop off the final ball, though: Ismail drills it straight back at her and she spills, but it’s more reflex than a proper drop. Australia do not look fussed.

42nd over: South Africa 178-8 (Ismail 6, Klaas 6) Just the one from Jonassen’s last over, and she finishes with two for 40 from her 10. Great effort, and a big part of Australia’s success in this game. 92 required...

41st over: South Africa 176-8 (Ismail 5, Klaas 5) Five from Perry’s over, including booming cover drive for two. 94 required...

40th over: South Africa 171-8 (Ismail 2, Klaas 3) Jonassen continues. There are three singles from the over, as South Africa just poke about. I wonder what the plan will be? Bit of slogging, surely? Doesn’t appear to be NRR worries etc. Anyway, they need 99 more with 60 balls remaining. Seems a long shot.

39th over: South Africa 168-8 (Ismail 1, Klaas 1) Masabata Klaas is the new batsman, and she’s away with a single, before Ismail plays and misses. She gets a single, then there’s a legbye, and then the over ends. Two wickets from it.

New Zealand are 61-6 and heading home....

Perry begins with a wide to the new bat Khaka, but next ball arrows one in at the pads and up goes the finger! Possibly sliding down, but looks a decent shout. This will be over soon.

South Africa are subsiding. Luus nicks the first ball of Perry’s over through to Healy, and has to go. 106 required from 66.

38th over: South Africa 164-6 (Luus 6, Ismail 0) Ismail in, and Jonasse starts with three dots to her. Very handy time for a wicket maiden for Australia, who are right in charge.

South Africa’s hopes of a first win over Australia slip further away as Jonassen gets the skipper in a bit of a tangly mess of a played on dismissal.

37th over: South Africa 164-5 (Luus 6, Van Niekerk 1) Well the rest of Perry’s over sees two singles. These two did the job with the ball and now have a huge role with the bat: SA need 106 from 78.

This is a howler. An absolute howler from the umpire Chris Brown. But it’s also a brilliant bit of fielding. Kapp has pushed into the offside and set off. Blackwell picks up and pulls off an awesome direct hit that has Kapp diving to make her ground. The finger goes straight up, but replays show her dive was good and she’d made her ground.

36th over: South Africa 162-4 (Kapp 19, Luus 5) Here’s Jonassen again, and after three singles, Kapp goes after her. She skips down and carts her into the gap between cow and long-on. Another single follows, then Luss finds mid-off with the last.

35th over: South Africa 154-4 (Kapp 13, Luus 3) Haynes took two for 12 from her two, but off she goes. Perry back. Hell of an impact. Kapp starts the over with a single again, then Luus gets off the mark with two through midwicket. Problem is, three dots follow. A single ends the over, and South Africa need 116 from 90 balls.

Katey Martin is gone at Derby, where New Zealand 49 for three after 16, and need 266 to win.

34rd over: South Africa 150-4 (Kapp 12, Luus 0) Luus, she of the five-fer, in to take on her fellow leggie Beams. Just one from the over, and that went to Kapp. Beams has done a great job: seven overs for 19.

33rd over: South Africa 149-4 (Kapp 11, Luus 0) The over ends with a single, to Kapp behind square. Nine from it, but more importantly the wicket of the set batsman. Not sure Wolvaardt needed to do that. Luus is in.

South Africa started Haynes’ over really well. Wolvaardt drives her for two, then turns her to long leg for one. Maybe missed out a touch. But Kapp makes up for it with a wonderful cover driven four. After another single, Wolvaardt launches into the legside but is caught at the same spot as du Preez! Gardner makes no mistake again.

32nd over: South Africa 140-3 (Wolvaardt 68, Kapp 5) I get the impression that there’s nothing Laura Wolvaardt wants more than the return of Australia’s seamers. It’s not happening though, as back comes Beams. And with good reason: one comes from the first five balls, a second-ball single to Wolvaardt. But Beams blots her copybook with the last, a rancid long hop that is smashed away for four by Kapp.

31st over: South Africa 135-3 (Wolvaardt 67, Kapp 1) Great time for Australia to pick a wicket up, that. There are three singles from the over, with Kapp underway with one from her first ball.

Oh dear. Rachael Haynes brings her left-arm seam on, and goes round the wicket to Filet Mignon. She starts with a rank full toss that should have been hit into Devon, but instead she picks out the fielder in the deep. Can’t have been that far off being a no-ball to be honest. Certain karmic quality to it after Luus picked up three wickets with fullies earlier.

30th over: South Africa 132-2 (Wolvaardt 65, du Preez 20) Sense is that South Africa know they need to kick on a touch. they are being strangled by spin and have many wickets in hand. Wolvaardt picks up two then one, but then there are two dots. Du Preez ends the over with a swept one.

29th over: South Africa 128-2 (Wolvaardt 62, du Preez 19) Mignon steps right across to sweep Jonassen, but it only brings her one. Wolvaardt gets one to cover, then Jonassen gets one to stick and grip at Du Preez and there’s nearly a return catch. Two from the over, and South Africa are being tied down again.

142 required from 126 balls.

28th over: South Africa 126-2 (Wolvaardt 61, du Preez 19) Gardner into her seventh, and she’s liking this round the wicket line to Wolvaardt. She drives her through the offside and picks up one, then Filet Mignon takes one of her own. Tricky end to the over: a false stroke from Wolvaardt lands safe, while du Preez is beaten by one and they dash through for a bye.

27th over: South Africa 122-2 (Wolvaardt 59, du Preez 17) Oh that’s lovely from du Preez. She clips Jonassen through square-leg and that’s four! First for four overs or so. Couple of dots follow, then a single for each batsman. Six from it.

26th over: South Africa 116-2 (Wolvaardt 58, du Preez 12) Gardner returns in place of Beams, who was bowling so nicely. There are a pair of singles from the first three, then two singles from the second three as well!

25th over: South Africa 112-2 (Wolvaardt 56, du Preez 10) With Beams going so well, back comes Jonassen. More dots either side of a two into the offside for Filet. Four come from the over in the end, including a tidy sweep from Wolvaardt, who has been tamed, rather. Halfway through their overs, chasing 270, South Africa have a platform, but are being pegged back a touch.

24th over: South Africa 108-2 (Wolvaardt 55, du Preez 7) Beams starts with a couple of dots to Filet Mignon du Preez. Then there’s a single into the legside, before three dots at Wolvaardt. Beams has conceded one run in her last two overs, and is bowling very tidily. 14 from her five so far.

23rd over: South Africa 107-2 (Wolvaardt 55, du Preez 6) Back comes Schutt, and immediately South Africa have their 100 with a single for Wolvaardt. Next ball is beautifully cover driven for four by Filet Mignon to get off the mark, then there’s a single that could have been tight with a decent throw. The throw, alas, was not decent. Over ends with two more singles, and there’s eight from it.

22nd over: South Africa 99-2 (Wolvaardt 53, du Preez 0) Well, Beams ghosts through a wicket maiden. Sort of, cos it’s not her wicket, but it is a wicket. Know what I mean? That run out had been coming, it has to be said. Mess.

Beams gets us going after drinks, and what a mess! Chetty is gone, run out from the deep. It’s knocked out to Perry at deep square, and they take the easy first. The second is disputed, they come back for it, and she’s run out by a mile! Dear, oh dear.

During drinks, worth mentioning that New Zealand are in real trouble: 11 for two, with Bates and Priest gone. Huge job for Satterthwaite, Martin and Priest chasing 266.

21st over: South Africa 98-1 (Wolvaardt 53, Chetty 36) More Villani, and she very nearly forces the mistake from Wolvaardt! Rank outside off and skewed very near the fielder at point. Doesn’t find her though. Next ball they run two with another nice drive through the offside. Get a short cover in! Another single through that region. The last ball of the over sees Trish pinch the strike with the fifth run of the over. That’ll be drinks.

Correct. Tall Blacks the best of the lot, of course.

@willis_macp But Kiwis get the nicknames right: All Blacks, Black Caps, White Ferns etc

20th over: South Africa 93-1 (Wolvaardt 50, Chetty 34) There’s Wolvaardt’s 5o, from the first ball of Beams’ third. She gets there with an offside single from her 61st ball. Very nicely played. Offside dominant all day, and that’s the third 50 of the tournament for the 18-year-old. Later in the over Trish drives uppishly through cover but is safe, and there are just two singles from the over.

19th over: South Africa 91-1 (Wolvaardt 49, Chetty 33) Interesting. Time for Villani to bowl some grim meds. I thought Gardner was doing a very good job. There are singles from each of the first three, then two from the fourth for Trish - but again there’s a bit of hesitation. Singles return for the final two.

India have got Suzie Bates in the second over! Are New Zealand on their way out? 5 for 1 chasing 266.

18th over: South Africa 84-1 (Wolvaardt 46, Chetty 29) I don’t feel these two are totally comfortable running between the wickets, and there hasn’t been a boundary since the 12th over. There are five runs from Beams’ over, though, with three singles (the third brings up the 50 stand), then a nicely driven two for Trish which Blackwell does well to cut off.

17th over: South Africa 79-1 (Wolvaardt 44, Chetty 26) Haynes sticks with the spin twins, and Gardner’s getting herself a bit of round the wicket action. Wolvaardt getting a little tied down. After a Chetty single, she soaks up four dots, then pinches the strikes.That’ll be drinks.

Indeed, the Southern Stars are no more! Always thought it a bit twee.

@willis_macp If Proteas keep this up (and don't lose wickets) they have a great chance. Aus, meanwhile, don't even have an official nickname

16th over: South Africa 77-1 (Wolvaardt 43, Chetty 25) Legspin for the first time from Australia. It was a very successful method for the South Africans. Kristen Beams doing the bowling, and there are four singles from the over, all popped in to gaps, all uneventful.

15th over: South Africa 73-1 (Wolvaardt 41, Chetty 23) Tidy, quiet over from Gardner. Five from it, three in singles, with two coming from a fine outside edge off the last. Ran two, should have pushed for three. Never mind.

14th over: South Africa 68-1 (Wolvaardt 39, Chetty 20) Nice calm stuff from South Africa against Perry. Singles off the first four, with the minimum of fuss. The fifth is fuller and slower, and defended by Trisha Chetty, who I have an overwhelming urge to call Trish, so I’m going to. She finds point with the last.

13th over: South Africa 64-1 (Wolvaardt 37, Chetty 18) Gardner’s one of those offies who just ghosts through her overs. The first four balls of this one bring singles, then there’s a bit of a mix-up from the fifth as Chetty changes her mind and sends Wolvaardt back. The last ball brings a far calmer single and South Africa need 206 more from 37.

12th over: South Africa 59-1 (Wolvaardt 35, Chetty 15) More Perry. She’s carted away by Chetty for four through midwicket. An ugly but effective heave. There’s an elegant single behind square on the offside, then some tight stuff to Wolvaardt, who Australia would love to get soon. Five from the over.

11th over: South Africa 54-1 (Wolvaardt 35, Chetty 10) Gardner’s second begins with a pretty ropey misfield from the captain Haynes at mid-off. Costs two. Chetty plays around the next ball and there’s a big lbw shout. No dice. It’s a good over, though, probing, and there are no more runs until Chetty drives the last through cover for one.

10th over: South Africa 51-1 (Wolvaardt 35, Chetty 7) Chetty gets off strike first ball to Perry, then Wolvaardt brings the 50 up with a nice cut two. Dots for the rest of the over, and that’s the powerplay done.

Ha! Very good shout, this.

@willis_macp Re the other South African team, surely (apart from the hair) Philander would be brilliant in an Enter the Dragon remake? pic.twitter.com/mtOS41gwLO

9th over: South Africa 48-1 (Wolvaardt 33, Chetty 6) Gardner replaces Schutt. Offies. Starts with a single from Wolvaardt, but four dots follow. Quick single ends the set of six. One more in the powerplay.

8th over: South Africa 46-1 (Wolvaardt 32, Chetty 5) Perry is on and there’s immediately a drop! Chetty flicks hard through the legside and the chance is spilled at square-leg, moving to her left! Should have been taken. That’s one of five dots, but the over ends with Chetty’s first boundary: a cut that just evades the point fielder. Nicely played, but a poor ball.

India finished with 265 for seven. Raj made 109.

7th over: South Africa 42-1 (Wolvaardt 32, Chetty 1) The Aussies are very chirpy all of a sudden. Wolvaardt defends, then drives beautifully through extra-cover (the fielder there should have done better), and it goes all the way for four! Perry is now posted out on the fence, but it beats here too. There’s a single into the offside (better fielding this time), then Chetty is defending Schutt. She gets off the mark to fine-leg and the over ends with the shot of the day: a perfect, nonchalant straight-driven four. She has seven boundaries in seven overs!

Careless from Lee there, no need for it. Need to be sensible for a while I reckon.

@willis_macp Glad that SA are being bright and tough in this chase.

(Attempting to cheer self up: WI have scored runs, so we're dooooomed.)

6th over: South Africa 32-1 (Wolvaardt 23, Chetty 0) Chetty survives the final ball of the over.

Finally, some strike for Lee! After defending Jonassen, she sweeps brilliantly for four! The next ball is turned into a similar region, with the same outcome but a different method. Stays on both feet this time and just turns it there!

Oh dear. Lizelle Lee. there was really no need for that. She’s tried to launch Jonassen down the ground, but totally skied it, and round comes the skipper Haynes to take a decent catch in the offside. Goes for nine. Delivery was a touch loopier, and it’s done for Lee.

5th over: South Africa 24-0 (Wolvaardt 23, Lee 1) Wolvaardt is a masterful strike-keeper. Lee has faced just three balls! Wolvaardt picks out midwicket, but then finds the fence at deep point with a swiped drive. Later in the over there’s a second four, and fifth of the innings, as Schutt is driven on the up through cover. Really did nothing wrong, the bowler.

4th over: South Africa 16-0 (Wolvaardt 15, Lee 1) Jonassen gets three dots out of Wolvaardt early, all driven into the packed offside field. The fourth is straighter, and she tries to turn to leg, but scuffs. The last ball of the over sees her keep the strike with a push into the offside.

India, by the way, are 249 for four, with 12 balls remaining. Raj has a ton, and Krishnamurthy has been teeing off: she has 64 from 40.

3rd over: South Africa 15-0 (Wolvaardt 14, Lee 1) Schutt starts with three dots to Wolvaardt, but there’s four more! That’s gone through Perry at point. Hit hard, bobbled, but should have been stopped. Wolvaardt digs one out for one down to third man. Lee defends the last, and South Africa have made a decent start to their chase of 270.

2nd over: South Africa 10-0 (Wolvaardt 9, Lee 1) Spin, then. Jess Jonassen, not Gardner, the chosen one, and she has a slip. Lee is off the mark with an ugly inside edge through midwicket, then there’s a glorious cover-driven punch for four from Wolvaardt. Delightful, and on the up. Two dots follow, then a single to end the over.

Thank you for the Good Vibrations.

I'm sending good vibrations https://t.co/uAYFIM1Ckc

1st over: South Africa 4-0 (Wolvaardt 4, Lee 0) Strange start, as Schutt gets all the way through her action, but doesn’t let the ball go. When she does, four dots get us going, then there’s a sweetly timed drive through cover for four. Three fielders converging on it, all of them lose the race. Nice shot.

Here we go: Schutt to Wolvaardt.

I’m back! With some very uninspiring food. Anyway, SA’s chase of 270 will begin shortly.

Right, I’m off to get myself something to eat. I’ll be back in 20 minutes or so. Speak then.

They were great fun! So many half-trackers and fullies, but who cares? Did the job, and she ended with five for 67 from her 10. Perry is chatting at the moment and she reckons batting isn’t too easy: 270 will be one hell of a chase, that’s for sure.

@willis_macp Luus' figures sound fun. Still think this is 90:10 in favour of Aus.
Elsewhere, Marsh n Gunn remember what bats are for: 214-7

Kapp has two in two to finish the job as Beams goes plumb lbw. Australia all out for 269 with nine balls to spare.

What a curious innings that was! Australia were 114 without loss, and 229 for four. But they lost six for 40 at the end there. This still looks a very good total, and SA have shown the way: pace off. Two for DvN, a curious Michelle for Sune Luus and Kapp ended with two, too.

Well pace off worked, but Kapp is coming back to bowl the penultimate over. She’s too canny for Schutt first ball outside off, and the next bowls her! Trying to play across the line, Schutt is gawwwwn.

48th over: Australia 269-8 (Jonassen 5, Schutt 11) The highlight of DvN’s eighth is a fine swept four by Schutt. Seven from it... Two to go.

India have lost two quickies, by the way. They are 154 for four after 37.

47th over: Australia 261-8 (Jonassen 3, Schutt 5) Luus ends with very fun figures of 10-0-67-5. Three dots from the over, three wickets with full tosses in the spell, but she was great to watch.

46th over: Australia 258-8 (Jonassen 1, Schutt 4) DvN carries on, and is well swept for four by Schutt. Those are her first runs of the tournament! Schutt is cool as, I reckon. There are no other runs from the over. Luus’s last is coming up.

45th over: Australia 254-8 (Jonassen 1, Schutt 0) Three dots finish a really good over from Luus, who has a five-fer!

SA have fought back very well here. Australia definitely won’t be out of reach at half-time.

@willis_macp Looks like SA are going to need some Lizelle Lee magic to overhaul this one. And Eng are 7 down without 200 yet. :(

Luus gets a ninth. Comical figures of four for 62 so far. And now she has five! Gardner ran two but has driven her straight to long-off, where Daniels takes another really fine catch!

I am. There’s ... a ... long ... way ... to ... go.

@willis_macp Are you doing the whole match, Will?

Have some sympathy coffee* to help you keep going.

*Entirely imaginary, of course.

44th over: Australia 252-7 (Gardner 2, Jonassen 1) Australia are a reasonable chance of getting bowled out here. And now South Africa have missed a chance. DvN is driven in the air by Jonassen to cover, where Kapp doesn’t seem to pick it up and drops a tough one-handed chance! It’s all happening. They run one, and Gardner hits into a gap later in the over for one.

43rd over: Australia 250-7 (Gardner 1) Well Ash Gardner is the new batsman. Luus continues, and after a couple of singles and a wide, Healy clumps her down the ground for four. Not out the middle from the full toss, but that’ll do. Goes big again next ball, a shorter one, and it’s a one bounce four pulled to cow! A third boundary follows, this one diverted past the short fine-leg fielder.

That’s Australia’s 250, and this expensive over ends with a wicket! It’s another full toss, Luus’s third wicket with a fullie, and Healy drills it down the ground but is caught well on the fence by Daniels. Luus has four.

42nd over: Australia 235-6 (Healy 3) Leggies from both ends, as DvN brings herself back. One run from the first three, until Blackwell dabs a lovely late cut down to third man for two. There’s a reasonable lbw shout turned down (looked pretty good...) but next ball she’s tracked her and drilled it straight to mid-on, where a decent catch is taken.

41st over: Australia 232-5 (Blackwell 31, Healy 2) Healy, the new batsman, is away immediately with a drive down the ground off a loopy one. Blackwell gets one there too, before another single for Helay ends it. Three from the over, and a wicket.

Slightly surprised to see Luus return to the attack but she’s done the trick! Perry has pulled her straight to midwicket! Ends a very fine knock, her fifth straight half-century.

40th over: Australia 229-4 (Perry 55, Blackwell 30) Blackwell is getting funky on the crease, darting around and having a bit of fun. She’s trying to get Kapp off her line, but it only gets her a single to deep point. Perry nicks a slower ball, but it falls short of the keeper. After a couple more dots, a thicker edge runs away to the third man fence for four! A single down there ends the over.

39th over: Australia 222-4 (Perry 50, Blackwell 19) Weird, just the one over for Ismail. Klaas is back, and she’s driven down the ground for a brilliant four by Blackwell! Next ball is another head-high full toss, which is swatted past the keeper for four by Blackwell. She had had a warning for a previous above waist jobbie, and now she has to be taken out of the attack.

Daniels to take over. Bit of a thankless task. There’s a single from the free hit, then Perry reaches a very fine 51-ball half-century, her fifth on the spin this tournament. Ridiculous player. Penultimate ball is swatted away through wide long-on for four by Blackwell, who ends the over with a drive to deep cover for one. What an eventful over! A milestone, 15 runs, a two bowlers, and three boundaries!

38th over: Australia 207-4 (Perry 49, Blackwell 15) Kapp’s back with Ismail. He starts with two dots but then there are a couple of wides, and a single for each of the batsmen, which brings up the 50 stand. Kapp’s wearing a huge watch, which I always find a hilarious quality in a cricketer. Ravi Rampaul is arguably the world leader in this genre. The eight-ball over ends with a single to Blackwell.

What an achievement that is. India 117 for two after 30 against New Zealand.

The India captain @M_Raj03 has scored her 50th ODI half century!

Amazing! #WWC17pic.twitter.com/E837rWfk1b

37th over: Australia 202-4 (Perry 48, Blackwell 13) Back comes Ismail. And not an over too soon. I say that, but her first ball is a full toss on leg stump and is flicked away for four behind square by Perry. The next is a similar line and brings two into the legside. They trade singles and this partnership, in the blink of an eye, is approaching 50. There’s a dot, then Perry elegantly guides down to third man for four to bring up the 200.

Ah, this is lovely stuff! Hope they are all having a great day.

@willis_macp shout out to mascot kids from @StBreockSchool#WWC2017 match today #ausvsa@CornwallCricketpic.twitter.com/DPV5ZpyOgZ

36th over: Australia 190-4 (Perry 37, Blackwell 12) Klaas continues and is bowling well outside off, particularly to Blackwell. They take a single from each of the first three balls, before a straighter one brings a dot. We are in the powerplay now, by the way. Oh dear, that’s rank from Klaas: a head-high full toss to Perry is swiped away off the top egde for four, and of course that’s a free hit too. Just gets a single as it’s nicely bowled. The last is a dot, but there’s nine from the over.

35th over: Australia 181-4 (Perry 30, Blackwell 8) Oosh! We have out first six of the day! Luus serves up an ugly full toss to Perry and she trots down and bashes it over long-on for six. A single follows, then a dot to Blackwell. A misfield off her own bowling costs Luus a run, then Perry drives to long-off for one. The last is cut for one by Blackwell. 10 from it, and I wonder whether we might have seen the last of Luus: Ismail, Kapp and DvN have six left each.

34th over: Australia 171-4 (Perry 23, Blackwell 8) Klaas returns in place of Daniels. Three dots to start to Blackwell, but a full toss is driven to cover for a very tight single – again a direct hit would have had Perry I reckon. She clobbers into the wicketkeeper as she tries to gather, and they both hit the deck, but are absolutely fine. Perry gets a single of her own, and there are two from the over.

Drinks seem a decent opportunity to update you on the state of things at Derby. The big one. India are 92 for two against New Zealand with Mithali Raj on 44 and Harmanpreet Kaur 28. They have out on 71, and they are into the 26th over, so it’s not rapid scoring.

33rd over: Australia 169-4 (Perry 22, Blackwell 7) Luus into the third of her spell. After a single and a dot, there’s a very poor bit of fielding in the deep, and Blackwell has her first boundary. It’s a full toss and it’s carted away, but Ismail should cut it off but it just goes straight through her. Did so well to make the ground, too. One more single to Blackwell in the over, and there are drinks coming out.

32nd over: Australia 163-4 (Perry 21, Blackwell 2) Daniels is looking tidy here. There are just two singles from the over. Not much else to tell you about it.

31st over: Australia 161-4 (Perry 20, Blackwell 1) Well there’s no hat-trick for Luus as Perry cuts a shortish, wideish one for a single. No bat-pad or anything for it. Shame. Anyway, she wants to bowl at Blackwell and begins with four dots to her. Bit more chirp about the South Africans at the moment. A single to mid-off ends the over and gets Blackwell on the board.

By the way, this is well worth your time.

#WWC17: Superb interview with 100-capper Katherine Brunt by @PhilWalkerAOChttps://t.co/Dg3DxL4TNh

30th over: Australia 159-4 (Perry 19, Blackwell 0) Well, South Africa needed that. Daniels continues and finds three dots to Perry at the start of it. Then there’s a bad misfield by Lizelle Lee at backward-point and that costs four! Straight through her. There’s a single to mid-off (a direct hit might have had Perry), then Blackwell defends her first.

29th over: Australia 154-4 (Perry 14) Villani goes first ball! Tossed up down leg, she’s tried to sweep and it’s bowled her off the glove I reckon. Luus has done the business! She’ll be on a hat-trick at the start of her next.

I said DvN would bowl through. I was wrong. Luus returns. There’s a single for each batsman, then a dot to Perry, who picks up a single next ball. Oh my word. Nicole Bolton: what have you done? A rancid full toss finds its way straight to cover. Straight to her, and Kapp makes no mistake. Horrible ball, horrible stroke, and Bolton is spewing with herself. Dear oh dear.

28th over: Australia 151-2 (Bolton 78, Perry 12) Daniels and her left-armers are on to replace Khaka, and after a dot, she’s carted away for four by Bolton. Short, straight and flogged through midwicket. Next up there’s a single into the offside to bring up Australia’s 150. The over ends with a driven single to mid-off for Perry, and in no time at all this stand is worth 34.

It really was an impressive gaffe from the ground announcer to call her Trisha Chetty when she walked out. Up there with the best.

@willis_macp Who is this unknown Ellyse Perry? The way you say it one would think she's in the ICC top ten in both batting and bowling.

27th over: Australia 145-2 (Bolton 73, Perry 11) I reckon DvN will probably bowl through here. This is her fourth. There’s a single to Bolton, a couple of dots to Perry, then, to everyone’s surprise, a no-ball! That means there’s a free hit, which Perry just carts over the legside for four. The last two are defended.

26th over: Australia 139-2 (Bolton 72, Perry 7) Khaka into her eighth. She’s been the pick of the attack I’d say. There’s a single for each batsman, then a couple of dots, before Perry picks up her first boundary: a beautiful drive through cover point for four. Was full and wide but very nicely played.

India are 67 for two in the 20th against New Zealand, by the way.

25th over: Australia 133-2 (Bolton 71, Perry 2) That’s class to start DvN’s new over from Bolton. Pulled away between the two fielders in the deep for four. She’s getting up towards a run a ball now. There’s a single out to those folks in the deep, then a wide down the legside to the right-hander Perry is missed by Chetty and runs away for five. DvN recovers well, with two decent nuts to her Sydney Sixers’ team-mate, who takes a single to deep extra to end the over. That’s the halfway stage. Australia well places.

24th over: Australia 122-2 (Bolton 66, Perry 1) Out comes the little known Australian all-rounder Ellyse Perry, and the ground announcer introduces her as Trisha Chetty. No mate, that’s the South African keeper. Just cos they both wear No8, yeah? Perry has half-centuries in her last four innings.

Anyway, here comes Khaka for here seventh. She’s let down by her fielder again, as Ismail misfields at mid-on to gift Bolton two. There’s then a tight single to midwicket, which Perry does well to scamper through for, then gets off the mark with a stylish guide to third man for one. Bolton pinches the strike at over’s end.

23rd over: Australia 117-2 (Bolton 62) Ugly bit of fielding at long-on gifts Bolton an extra run off DvN, and then they take a single next ball. Haynes is watchful at the start of her innings, but from the last ball of the over she’s just patted back to the bowler! The leggie stuck in the pitch a little bit and it’s the simplest of catches...

Eurgh, England in trouble!

@guerillacricket@willis_macp And Sciver bowled first ball. Eng 91/4. We're doomed to play our semi in Derby aren't we?

22nd over: Australia 114-1 (Bolton 59, Haynes 0) Three balls left, and the stand-in skip Haynes to the crease. Three dots to start for her, and that’s a very fine over. One from it, and a wicket. Really was an ugly heave from Mooney, but was worth her kicking on when set.

Relief for South Africa. Khaka has deserved that. After a single for Bolton, Mooney has a big swipe, misses and is bowled. Opening stand ends at a very, very handy 114.

21st over: Australia 113-0 (Mooney 53, Bolton 58) Here she is. The skipper, Dane van Niekerk, the leading wicket taker this tournament. Mooney turns the leggie to leg for one, then Bolton drives back to the bowler and there’s nearly a run out at the nonstriker’s as DvN gets a little deflection on it. They run one, as they do next ball, to deep midwicket. The over ends with two dots, and there’s four from it. Good start.

20th over: Australia 109-0 (Mooney 51, Bolton 56) Khaka replaces Klaas, and Mooney reaches her half-century with a drive through point that brings two. Just 52 balls for hers, with eight boundaries. She gets one to mid-off, then Bolton, who is standing way outside her ground (worth the keeper standing up?), plays out three dots. Slightly calmer over, just four from it. Must be time for some van Niekerk.

19th over: Australia 105-0 (Mooney 48, Bolton 55) Australia are kicking on. Luus is whacked over the offside for four by Mooney, then next ball a full toss is walloped over the legside for another boundary! That’s five in the last eight balls. A deft cut is saved brilliantly on the third man fence by Lizelle Lee, but they still get through for three. That’s the hundred stand. There’s a single for Bolton, but Mooney finishes the over with a brilliant extra-cover drive for four!

16 from the over (28 from the last two) and the charge is well and truly on. What are you going to do about it, Ravi?

@willis_macp May not be multi-tasking enough. Aus doing better than Eng. Ind stuttering. Finish Austen novel to keep @samjordison happy?

18th over: Australia 89-0 (Mooney 33, Bolton 54) Oh yes, Nicole Bolton. First ball after drinks is full and on her pads from Klaas and she flicks it away for four. A ball later, unfortunately, the umpires have a chat about the rain falling, but decide to stay out there! Good on ya, umps. Chris Brown from New Zealand and Langton Rusere of Zimbabwe are the men in, erm, red coats for this game.

Three dots follow that boundary, but there’s four more, which takes Bolton to 50! That’s lovely. Again, full on the pads and she drills it through midwicket, all along the floor. Took her 61 balls and that’s her seventh four. Her eighth follows next ball - a low, flat pull. Beautiful stuff.

Just while they take drinks, there are some people with umbrellas up and it generally looks a bit mizzly and miserable...

17th over: Australia 77-0 (Mooney 33, Bolton 42) Spin! It’s lovely Sune Luus and her leggies. Ah, that’s a loose one (sorry) to begin with. Flat, short and boshed away to cow for four by Bolton. The next is much better, and Bolton defends, then drills out to that fielder at cow for one. There are two more singles from the over, drilled down the ground for Mooney, then into the covers for Bolton. Good fielding there.

Anyway, that’s drinks. Australia just starting to take control.

16th over: Australia 70-0 (Mooney 32, Bolton 36) Klaas continues, but I’m slightly surprised that we are yet to see any spin. Lots of wickets for tweakers at Taunton this tournament. Five from the over: one to Bolton to deep-square, then a slashed four for Mooney, who gave herself room through the off-side.

15th over: Australia 65-0 (Mooney 28, Bolton 35) Khaka is carted wide of mid-on, who gives chase in vain as it runs away for four. Rank shot, but what does that matter? Bowler looks non-plussed at best, peeved at worst, and follows up with a decent piece of fielding off here own bowling. But she strays on to Bolton’s pads twice, and she picks up a pair of twos through square-leg, and then there’s four through midwicket... A bad over for South Africa ends very badly when a simple stop at mid-off goes through and costs a run. Bolton took 13 from that one.

News from Derby: India are 53 for two against New Zealand. Raj and Kaur at the crease in the 16th.

14th over: Australia 52-0 (Mooney 28, Bolton 22) A fifth seamer: Masabata Klaas comes on to replace Daniels, and she’s immediately cut away for one by Mooney. Bolton picks one up into the legside, then Mooney shows real aggression for the first time: she drills over mid-on. Doesn’t get all of it, but gets enough of it to go over Kapp’s head and gets four. She picks out cover three more times thereafter. Seem to be swarms of South African fielders in there.

13th over: Australia 46-0 (Mooney 23, Bolton 21) Khaka, who has started so well, bowls six dots to Bolton, all of them very fine balls.

Australia going old school: retention of wickets while it’s tough. Think they will be pretty happy, even if they’re not yet ticking along at four an over. Never *quite* been tied down – can SA keep the shackles on after that maiden?

@willis_macp Have to say that, despite the Loz of Winfield (see what I did there?) Eng have a better start than Aus: SA women doing well.

12th over: Australia 46-0 (Mooney 23, Bolton 21) Couple of dots from Daniels to Mooney, but oooph that’s a lovely stroke. Perhaps an attempted slower ball from the left-armer but it’s short and wide and Mooney cuts gorgeously behind point. She gets four for it, but I’d give her more. Daniels recovers well, and there’s just four from the over.

11th over: Australia 42-0 (Mooney 19, Bolton 21) More Khaka, and she starts well, with three dots to Bolton. She gets herself off strike to mid-on. Bolton sends her back next ball, but pinches with the strike with a scamper to mid-off. Two from it, and five from Khaka’s first two.

#Pray4Palfreyman

Am trying to fry my brain: watching Eng v WI, listening to @guerillacricket for Eng v SA, and reading @willis_macp on Aus v SA. And tweeting

10th over: Australia 40-0 (Mooney 18, Bolton 20) Camera pans to the balcony, where Megan Schutt has got herself a water-pistol and is taking aim at her team-mates and coaches below. What japes.

Another change in the bowling! It’s the leftie, Moseline Daniels. I like her action a lot, nice and wide on the crease. Anyway, there’s a single down the ground for Mooney, then a pair of legside twos for Bolton, and a wide in between. Over ends with a single for Bolton, who has overtaken Mooney for the first time. That’s the powerplay done, and Australia will surely be happier. Steady, not spectacular.

9th over: Australia 33-0 (Mooney 17, Bolton 15) A bowling change! It’s Khaka. She’s instantly troubling Bolton, more with lack of pace than anything else, and they scamper through for a leg-bye second ball, after a stifled lbw appeal first up. Mooney gets a single, then Khaka strays onto Bolton’s pad off the final ball and is flicked away for two.

This is cool from the game at Grace Road (or, as we are supposed to call it, the Fischer County Ground).

Interesting piece of history here @leicsccc. First @cricketworldcup match where all ppl on field (incl. umpires) are women. #PAKvSL#WWC17

8th over: Australia 29-0 (Mooney 16, Bolton 13) Kapp’s latest over begins with one of those appeals that bowlers do when they think they are going to be wided down the legside. The umpire reckons it hit the thigh-pad, but I disagree. That’s fine though. Bolton dots up again, then flicks through square-leg: it’s beautifully timed and she gets four! There’s then a single through midwicket, before Mooney does what she’s spent all morning: drilling straight to the cover fielder.

I am, as ever, utterly neutral but, you know, it’s the Aussies, so...

@willis_macp Glad you're on the OBO Will. I should be neutral but of course, want SA to prevail here. You?

7th over: Australia 24-0 (Mooney 16, Bolton 8) Good fielding at mid-off means Bolton gets just one with a slightly tame drive. Mooney and Bolton trade singles to third man, and Ismail’s over ends with a couple of slightly ungainly defensive strokes from Mooney. Three from it.

6th over: Australia 21-0 (Mooney 15, Bolton 6) Mooney tries to turn Kapp to leg, but scuffs it, then finds the fielder next ball. Batting doesn’t look easy, but the bowling has been tight. Kapp, who looks very angry, strays on to the pads and is turned to fine leg for one. Bolton drives, and there’s a half-stop from Khaka, whose name I love, but she can’t prevent the single. The over ends with a lovely flick through square-leg for four by Mooney, who is starting to settle. Full and on the pads, had to go.

5th over: Australia 15-0 (Mooney 10, Bolton 5) A boundary, finally! And it’s a lovely one. Ismail overpitches a touch, and Mooney drills her through that gap in the covers. She spends the next couple trying, and failing to hit that gap, then takes a risky single. Ismail digs one in to Bolton and there’s four more! Pulled nicely through square-leg. Easily Australia’s most profitable over, that.

4th over: Australia 6-0 (Mooney 5, Bolton 1) More Kapp. Couple of dots to Mooney, who then takes her fourth single, but is very nearly caught at midwicket in the process. Grips and just falls short. Bolton finally gets off the mark (took 12 balls) with a turn to mid-on, then the over ends with a neat guide from Mooney past backward point for one.

Good news from Leicester! They will start at 11.20.

Covers slowwwwwwly coming off at Leicester. #SoggyWoodenSpoon#WWC17

3rd over: Australia 3-0 (Mooney 3, Bolton 0) South Africa’s excellent start continues, but the pattern is broken as Mooney faces four Ismail dots. She’s trying to drive through the gap at extra cover, but keeps finding the fielders squarer! Anyway, she eventually gets herself off strike with the fifth ball, a more chilled out defence into the gap. Another Bolton dot from the last.

2nd over: Australia 2-0 (Mooney 2, Bolton 0) Magnificent Marizanne Kapp to get us going from t’other end, and this over begins in similar fashion to the first, as Mooney turns the first ball to leg for one, then Bolton dots up the rest. Not very eventful, but South Africa are right on the money here.

Should mention that your boy Vish is on OBO duty for the England game. We don’t do things by halves.

Related: England v West Indies: Women's World Cup – live!

1st over: Australia 1-0 (Mooney 1, Bolton 0) Little Shabnim Ismail gets us going, and the leftie Mooney’s immediately off the mark with a dinked turn to leg for one. Bolton, a bespectacled southpaw, defends, leaves, then defends again. The over ends with a couple more dots - driven to cover and defended firmly. Very good first over from Ismail.

Well here they come. Bolton and Mooney opening for Aus, who opted to bat first. Kinda looks a bowling day to me, and Dane van Niekerk said as much at the toss.

Remember! You can contact me!

They are doing the anthems. I don’t hate Advance Australia Fair, I’ll admit that much. Elyse Villani seems to be enjoying it, as do some Australian pensioners (I know they are Australian because of the funny hats they are wearing) in the crowd.

No word of any weather about down in the West Country, which is good news.

Bad news in the playing-for-pride derby.

Rain coming down HARD in Leicester. At this rate both Pakistan AND Sri Lanka will be going home winless. #SoggyWoodenSpoon#WWC17

The teams! Australia are batting first.

Australia: Bolton, Mooney, Haynes (c), Perry, Villani, Blackwell, Healy (wk), Gardner, Jonassen, Schutt, Beams.

Over in Derby, New Zealand have won the toss and are bowling against India. Big game, that.

Australia win the toss and bat! Well, Haynes has done the first bit right. Coin falls her way, and she opts to bat. Teams to follow.

This is superb:

Sthalekar: “Does your contract say you only come in to captain?"
Haynes: “We probably shouldn’t talk about contracts, should we?” #WWC17

So Meg Lanning isn’t playing. Her dicky shoulder has not been risked... Rachael Haynes, who captained Australia against Pakistan in Leicester earlier in the tournament but hasn’t played since, leads the side. Does seem a slightly curious situation, given Alex Blackwell is the vice-captain. Anyway...

Good morning, happy weekend, and welcome to the Guardian’s coverage of Australia against South Africa in the Women’s World Cup. I’m Will Macpherson and I’ll be bringing you all the action, right to the bitter end, from Taunton.

So, the final day of the pool stage. Both these sides are through to the semi-finals in Bristol (on Tuesday) and Derby (Thursday). They have lost just one match each (both to England), but South Africa’s game against New Zealand at Derby was rained off, so they are a point behind England and Australia, who have 10. The table is here, by the way. Check it out. *I think* that if they both win, Australia need to win by about 150 more runs than England to qualify. That’s a lot.

Related: ‘The Natmeg needs some luck,’ says England’s improvising batter Nat Sciver

Continue reading...

England beat West Indies by 92 runs at Women's World Cup – as it happened

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England sauntered to victory over West Indies on a cold grey day at Bristol, as Heather Knight and Nat Sciver both impressed

Related: Captain Heather Knight stars as England women defeat West Indies

Job done for England on a cold grey Bristol day when there wasn’t much to gain but plenty to lose.

It wasn’t a vintage batting effort but anything over 200 was going to be competitive on a dry turning surface. Heather Knight made sure her side reached at least par with a smart 67 before Laura Marsh and Jenny Gunn added some momentum at the end.

West Indies’ innings eventually comes to an end at 128-9, what seems like an eternity since they had cruised to 34 without loss and still in with a chance. A record seven LBWs is the highlight of a scorecard dominated by England’s bowlers.

50th over: West Indies 128-9 (Kyshona 12, Joseph 0)

Knight finishes things off with a maiden.

The 99th over of the match is a wicket-maiden, ending with Mohammed missing one that nips back in a touch, and hits her adjacent enough to convince the umpire to give it. I think the “get on with it so we can get to the pub” margin of error was activated.

48th over: West Indies 127-8 (Kyshona 12, Mohammed 14)

It is hard to retain any enthusiasm for this game when the side nominally chasing is no longer trying to chase the target. Only two overs left to endure.

Australia beat South Africa in Taunton, dismissing the Proteas for 210 for a 59 run win! #SAvAUS#WWC17pic.twitter.com/jRlUWKqhGt

47th over: West Indies 126-8 (Kyshona 11, Mohammed 14)

Shrubsole having a bowl now. Full, straight, and delivered for the concession of just one run. It’s cold, dark, damp and lifeless in Bristol, but this game refuses to end.

46th over: West Indies 125-8 (Kyshona 10, Mohammed 14)

Heather Knight has been the poorest of England’s bowlers today and she begins her latest spell with a delivery down the leg side that’s helped on its way for four. The final ball of the over also earns four runs, this time short and wide and carved behind point.

45th over: West Indies 117-8 (Kyshona 10, Mohammed 6)

Kyshona Knight has not looked to do a lot with her first 29 deliveries, but her 30th is driven gloriously through extra cover for four.

44th over: West Indies 112-8 (Kyshona 6, Mohammed 6)

Hartley the latest England bowler to satisfy the requirement of turning her arm over. There’s at least a half-chance to report, Mohammed looking to drive, edging just beyond slip and away to the third-man boundary. Hartley finishes with 1-25 from her 10 overs. She bowled beautifully when the game was in the balance.

43rd over: West Indies 107-8 (Kyshona 5, Mohammed 2)

This game continues to meander aimlessly with Gunn enjoying some net practice out in the middle, West Indies blocking out another over. In club cricket the umpires would start firing out any batter who had the misfortune of the ball hitting their pads so everyone could leg it to the pub.

42nd over: West Indies 106-8 (Kyshona 4, Mohammed 2)

The 42nd over of a World Cup run chase is dead batted for a maiden.

INDIA REACH THE #WWC17 SEMIS!

Rajeshwari Gayakwad's five for helps dismiss New Zealand for 79 and seals a 186 run win! #INDvNZpic.twitter.com/ycnGgimCh7

41st over: West Indies 106-8 (Kyshona 4, Mohammed 2)

Jenny Gunn has another bowl as this match dies a long slow death. Two singles and not a lot else to report.

40th over: West Indies 104-8 (Kyshona 3, Mohammed 1)

Hartley recalled to toss up her left-arm orthodox, conceding just one from an over that almost forced a catch at the wicket and featured a delivery bowled from nearer 30 yards than 20. Nice variations.

39th over: West Indies 103-8 (Kyshona 1, Mohammed 1)

Brunt bending her back trying to mop up the tail. Anisa Mohammed doesn’t look like she’s overly keen to be out in the middle as rain begins to fall around the County Ground. The last rites of this contest will be a bit damp.

38th over: West Indies 101-8 (Kyshona 1, Mohammed 0)

Sciver still giving nothing away, conceding just one run from the 38th over.

37th over: West Indies 100-8 (Kyshona 1, Mohammed 0)

So England, Australia, and India are all cruising in the three matches that matter. Which means we’re heading towards England v South Africa on Tuesday here in Bristol and Australia v India on Thursday in Derby.

Brunt given a second spell to join in the fun, and she wastes no time, picking up Akeira Peters on review. The left-hander missed a delivery angling into her from around the wicket. It wasn’t given on field but a review showed it smacking into leg stump.

36th over: West Indies 100-7 (Kyshona 1, Peters 0)

DRS indicates that LBW should not have been awarded, Sciver’s delivery was in fact sliding down the leg side. Unfortunately Fletcher had no access to a review.

Another straight delivery, another batter playing around her front pad, missing, and inviting the raised index finger. Fletcher this time handing Sciver her third.

35th over: West Indies 99-6 (Fletcher 3, Kyshona 1)

A misfield from Winfield stands out for its rarity as Marsh concludes her excellent day with figures of 1-26 from her 10 overs. Marsh’s late blast with the bat changed the momentum of the game and her tight bowling helped ram home that advantage.

34rd over: West Indies 96-6 (Fletcher 1, Kyshona 0)

Sciver continues to keep the pressure on, conceding just the single.

RUN OUT. A direct hit and Kapp is given out for 19. SA 162/5 (36.2 ovs), need 108. #wwc17

WICKET! Perkins goes for an expansive drive but she's bowled by Deepti Sharma for 1! New Zealand 52/5 #INDvNZ#WWC17pic.twitter.com/J1LC7bqKzN

33rd over: West Indies 95-6 (Fletcher 0, Kyshona 0)

A rare loose over from Marsh bowling around the wicket to the left-handed Kyshona but the four leg-byes won’t count against her figures.

WICKET! Satterthwaite stumped for 26! New Zealand now down to 51/4! #INDvNZ#WWC17pic.twitter.com/bF2HH7rFf2

32nd over: West Indies 90-6 (Fletcher 0, Kyshona 0)

England rattling through a beleaguered West Indies now. That Beaumont catch was a beauty but the three recent LBWs owed more to the batter than the bowler.

Two in three balls for Sciver! Gun barrel straight, Aguilleira plays around her front pad, misses the ball, and there’s only one possible outcome on a pitch with bounce as low as this.

Wow! A catch of the tournament contender from Tammy Beaumont. Natalie Sciver comes into the attack and her first delivery is a long hop that Nation gets hold of but Beaumont darts around from deep midwicket to take a running sliding catch low to her right at deep backward square. Outstanding fielding.

31st over: West Indies 89-4 (Nation 23, Aguilleira 8)

Laura Marsh returns in place of Knight and returns to her groove outside the off stump, full and spinning in. Aguilleira has a look at a few and then decides it’s time to take the game on, sweeping powerfully for a rare boundary.

30th over: West Indies 84-4 (Nation 22, Aguilleira 4)

Nation manages to work Hartley behind square for a couple but with just 20 overs now remaining it all feels like we’re watching fiddling while Rome burns. West Indies need a spark from somewhere.

29th over: West Indies 80-4 (Nation 19, Aguilleira 3)

Knight immediately reapplies the vice, restricting scoring opportunities and racing through another parsimonious over.

WICKET! Laura Wolvaardt out for 71! Caught at midwicket by Gardner, Haynes has her second! South Africa 148/4 #SAvAUS#WWC17pic.twitter.com/z3eWxE7vw3

28th over: West Indies 79-4 (Nation 18, Aguilleira 3)

Better from West Indies, Nation and Aguilleira rotating the strike safely, scoring off four deliveries. They haven’t done enough of that bread and butter one-day batting, allowing England to dictate terms and apply pressure without expending much effort.

27th over: West Indies 75-4 (Nation 15, Aguilleira 2)

England turning the screw in Bristol, Australia gaining the upper hand against South Africa, and India with the ascendancy over New Zealand.

Knight keeps herself on despite an underwhelming couple of overs and Dottin frees her shoulders, sweeping powerfully to midwicket for a much needed boundary.

She tries again, and again, eventually missing one, her pad getting in the way and the dreaded finger of doom following closely after. NOt the smartest batting from someone of Dottin’s calibre.

26th over: West Indies 69-3 (Nation 15, Dottin 3)

Like with Matthews before her, Dottin wants to assert herself against Hartley but these left-arm floaters are proving difficult to get hold of. Another tight over for England.

25th over: West Indies 68-3 (Nation 15, Dottin 2)

Better from Knight but still with the odd wayward delivery. West Indies lacking any momentum though and England’s smart field placings and sharp fielding preventing any freebies.

WICKET! Katey Martin caught at midwicket by Harmanpreet off the bowling of Deepti Sharma! White Ferns struggling on 27/3! #INDvNZ#WWC17pic.twitter.com/qU1O0GACZm

24th over: West Indies 66-3 (Nation 14, Dottin 1)

The wicket ball from Hartley looked there to be hit in the air, angling on a middle and leg stump line, but as soon as it hit the deck it gripped, straightened and was hitting plenty of computer generated timber.

Huge wicket for England! Again Matthews tries to launch Hartley into Wales. She slogs and misses the opening delivery and slog sweeps and misses the second, adjudicated LBW in the process. She reviews but to no avail.

23rd over: West Indies 64-2 (Matthews 29, Nation 13)

Heather Knight brings herself on to bowl her right-arm medium pace from over the wicket to the right-handed pair at the crease. It’s not the best of starts with a hotch-potch of lines and lengths, including enough down the leg side to allow the West Indies a handy eight runs.

Related: Wimbledon 2017: Garbiñe Muguruza overpowers Venus Williams in final – live!

22nd over: West Indies 56-2 (Matthews 27, Nation 8)

Matthews again tries to go after Hartley. She swipes and misses the first, connects with the second but only enough to lob it on the bounce to long off. It does enough to put Hartley off her line though, angling a rare delivery down leg, helped on its way to the fine leg boundary by Nation.

21st over: West Indies 51-2 (Matthews 26, Nation 4)

Marsh with a maiden immediately after a drinks break. Six deliveries well flighted, dropping on a good length outside off stump spinning into the right handed Nation.

20th over: West Indies 51-2 (Matthews 26, Nation 4)

Matthews senses the build up of pressure and has a dart at Hartley but only finds mid-on. A stumping is sent upstairs but Nation never left her ground.

RUN OUT! Just what we needed! Perry with the rocket arm from the boundary and Healy does the rest! Chetty departs for 36, SA 2-99 #WWC17

19th over: West Indies 49-2 (Matthews 25, Nation 3)

Marsh continuing her excellent spell, getting the odd delivery to rip on this bone dry surface. Half a shout for caught behind off a bat pad, but nothing doing. England rattling through their work, suffocating West Indies.

DRINKS: #ProteasWomen 98/1 after 21 overs. @LauraWolvaardt 53, @trisha_chetty 36*. Partnership 66*, need 172 to win. #AlwaysRising#wwc17pic.twitter.com/khjgjj0GB5

18th over: West Indies 47-2 (Matthews 24, Nation 2)

Alex Hartley’s left-arm orthodox into the attack, around the wicket to the right-handers, landing around off stump and spinning away, looking for the outside edge. Her first over is a maiden, Matthews wanting to attack but finding no timing whatsoever.

17th over: West Indies 47-2 (Matthews 24, Nation 2)

Marsh floating up innocuous looking offies outside off-stump to the two right-handers but there’s enough doubt in the minds of the batters and enough happening off the pitch to make them seem like hand grenades. Two singles off it.

Both openers gone as Priest is ct & bowled Goswami. WHITE FERNS 7-2. Nervous times
Anyone still up back home!? #NZvIND#WWC17 ^WN pic.twitter.com/Ji25ivE2DX

16th over: West Indies 45-2 (Matthews 22, Nation 1)

Gunn has done an excellent job for her captain so far bowling dot after dot with an impeccable line and length to Nation. She’s conceded just four runs from her four overs.

@JPHowcroft Although this is a "new look" team, Taylor, Brunt, Gunn and Marsh are definite veterans. And doing the business for Knight.

15th over: West Indies 43-2 (Matthews 22, Nation 0)

Marsh continuing to tease the right-handed Matthews but West Indies’ main hope works five from the over to start the scoreboard ticking over again.

SA 79/1 after 17 overs. @LauraWolvaardt 44*, @trisha_chetty 26. They need 192 to win. #ProteasWomen#wwc17#AlwaysRisingpic.twitter.com/cKk9g71G4Q

14th over: West Indies 38-2 (Matthews 17, Nation 0)

England suddenly right on top now. The runs have dried up, they’re racing through their overs and two cheap wickets have enlivened the field. Plenty of discussion continuing about that LBW decision and the inability of Taylor to confer with Matthews before walking off.

WICKET! Shikha Pandey makes an early breakthrough, #SuzieBates caught in the slips for 1! New Zealand 5/1 #INDvNZ#WWC17pic.twitter.com/wc9YEVEsND

13th over: West Indies 37-2 (Matthews 16, Nation 0)

And DRS proves that dismissal was missing leg stump! It was a sharp call onfield and Taylor knew it wasn’t plumb but she wasn’t confident enough to burn a review. How costly might that prove?

Marsh with the second breakthrough for England. After pursuing a line outside off stump she straightens one and raps Taylor on her front pad. It didn’t look plumb to the naked eye but the skipper chooses not to review.

12th over: West Indies 36-1 (Matthews 16, Taylor 0)

Gunn proving near impossible to get away, following up her maiden with just a single from her second over. Nothing fancy, just hitting the top of off and letting the pitch do the rest.

11th over: West Indies 35-1 (Matthews 15, Taylor 0)

Tidy over from Marsh as England up the pressure and get through their work quickly. No shortage of turn too.

10th over: West Indies 34-1 (Matthews 14, Taylor 0)

Jenny Gunn is the fourth England player to be thrown the ball and Charlotte Edwards reckons she’ll be the hardest bowler to get away on this surface, and so it proves with a maiden and the run out cherry on top.

Oh dear, out of nothing West Indies lose a wicket to a needless run out. Matthews pushed the ball to point and both batters ball-watched, dawdling mid pitch as a run was half-heartedly attempted. Wilson swooped, hurled it to Taylor who did the rest. Tame end to a chanceless start.

9th over: West Indies 34-0 (Matthews 14, Kycia 17)

Laura Marsh into the attack now from the Ashley Down Road end with England finally taking some pace off the ball on this subcontinental track. Blimey! Matthews sizes a couple up and then absolutely larrups one a million miles for a gargantuan six over long on! That was pure wallopping goodness.

2 runs and that brings up the 50 for South Africa. 51/1 (9.4 ovs). @LauraWolvaardt 35, @trisha_chetty 7. #ProteasWomen#AlwaysRising#wwc17pic.twitter.com/TqW0gIOFLj

8th over: West Indies 27-0 (Matthews 7, Kycia 17)

Another over with little for England to cheer. Shrubsole short twice and dispatched twice by Kycia but only one of those reached the midwicket fence, limiting the damage.

7th over: West Indies 21-0 (Matthews 7, Kycia 11)

Taylor standing at both ends now with pace still the order of the day but there’s nothing she can do about the latest loose delivery angled down the leg side that’s helped on its way by Kycia for another boundary.

6th over: West Indies 16-0 (Matthews 7, Kycia 5)

Up steps Taylor to the stumps, helmet donned, to the aggressive Shrubsole. And Taylor takes the bails off with Matthews well out of her ground - but it was from a no-ball free hit. Matthews is moving a lot more freely, in case you were wondering.

Entertaining final over. 7 runs, 3 wickets and an excellent boundary catch by Satterthwaite.

266 is the target #gameon#NZvIND#WWC17 ^WN pic.twitter.com/K7rG0JvpWH

5th over: West Indies 12-0 (Matthews 5, Kycia 5)

Brunt bowling a good length to a fourth to fifth stump line against Matthews with a series of pushes and checked drives finding the field before a loose delivery angled to leg is milked off her pads for the first boundary of the chase.

@JPHowcroft She's massaged egos and made them look like big, bad seamers, so isn't it now time for Sarah Taylor to stand up to the stumps?

4th over: West Indies 8-0 (Matthews 1, Kycia 5)

Good over from Shrubsole, full and probing at Kycia who’s happy to see out a maiden.

WICKET! Mithali Raj goes for 109! Caught by Satterthwaite off Kasperek, India 261/5 #INDvNZ#WWC17pic.twitter.com/CD5iTW98Sg

3rd over: West Indies 8-0 (Matthews 1, Kycia 5)

A lovely cover drive from Kycia earns three and only a desperate chase from Wilson keeps it from being four. Some nice shape in the air for Brunt but it’s not troubling the opening West Indians so far who are getting in line to anything full. A loose attempted pull from Matthews almost loops to midwicket, but it lands safely.

GONE! Jonassen claims the breakthrough as Lee skies a ball and Haynes takes the catch. Out for 9, SA 1-32 #WWC17#SAvAUSpic.twitter.com/3Hztqqz5Ob

2nd over: West Indies 4-0 (Matthews 1, Kycia 2)

Pace at both ends for England with Anya Shrubsole sharing the new ball. The right-armer coming over the wicket, wide on the crease, hitting the deck hard and angling the ball across the left-handed Kycia and into the right-handed Matthews. One from it.

CENTURY! India's captain #MithaliRaj gets her sixth ODI hundred! It comes off 116 balls, congratulations @M_Raj03! #INDvNZ#WWC17pic.twitter.com/bf7eo33eeS

1st over: West Indies 3-0 (Matthews 1, Knight 1)

Katherine Brunt with the new ball for England and there’s a bit of swing both ways for the pace bowler in an impressive start.

SA innings underway. 10/0 after 2 overs. #wwc17#ProteasWomenpic.twitter.com/c5ozZyXh3i

Almost time for West Indies to begin their chase of 221, and the good news is Hayley Matthews is fit enough to open after that injury scare.

Who joins England, Australia and South Africa in the semis?

That remains very much in the balance because there was rain in Derby delaying proceedings but India, at 215-4 (45 overs) are moving along nicely. The incomparable Mihali Raj is unbeaten on 94 after racking up a record ninth half-century of the year.

The battle for top spot...

There are three other matches in progress, two of them with a baring on the semi-final draw.

AUS went from 154/2 after 28.4 overs to 269 all out after 48.3. #WWC17

Afternoon everybody, on what’s turned out to be a trickier day than England would have preferred. After arriving in Bristol expecting a walkover they’ve found a very tired surface offering appreciable spin and in the end did well to grind their way to 220.

Heather Knight’s 67 held it all together and some terrific late hitting from Jenny Gunn and Laura Marsh have set a target the home side should be confident of defending. Especially so considering they have a clear understanding of how the pitch is likely to play and the value of spin, spin, and more spin.

That’s all from me. Jonathan Howcroft, fuelled by tea on the other side of the world, is set to take over for the West Indies chase. What a world. Bye!

50th over: England 220-7 (Marsh 31, Gunn 24) Right after the impromptu injury break, Marsh ramps over her shoulder for four more! Brilliant cameo from her, finishing on 31. Matthews collapses again right after that final delivery. She’s still there now as I sign this off. A concern for West Indies considering she’ll be opening the batting in half-an-hour.

She collapsed after bowling her third delivery, clutching the back of her left knee as she went down. Luckily, it looks like it’s just a bad case of cramp. Perhaps her calf, which I can tell you from experience, is a doozy. She’s up now and is set to continue...

49th over: England 212-7 (Marsh 25, Gunn 22) Here we go… the 200 comes up with a powerful sweep from Marsh through square leg for four. A single brings Jenny Gunn on strike and she gives Taylor the charge and smokes her down the ground for six big ones! #UNIVERSEJEN! Six more deliveries to go and Hayley Matthews will be bowling them…

48th over: England 197-7 (Marsh 17, Gunn 15) Boggy pulls out the reverse sweep! She doesn’t get a lot of the ball but enough to get it fine and away for four. She does much worse with a full toss next ball, which she plinks to midwicket for just a single.

47th over: England 189-7 (Marsh 11, Gunn 13) Taylor’s taking all the pace off the ball, so Marsh and Gunn have to make do with sweeps and the odd bunt down the ground. Four singles from the over. More clout needed, you’d imagine.

46th over: England 185-7 (Gunn 12, Marsh 8) Singles into the leg side for both, as Matthews, cap on, continues to dart the ball into both right-handers. 200 for the psychological boost...

45th over: England 181-7 (Gunn 10, Marsh 6) Neatly done by Laura Marsh, who in another life was England’s white ball opening batsman, as she gets on one knee and tickles Stafanie Taylor to fine leg for four.

44th over: England 174-7 (Gunn 8, Marsh 1) This entry was going to start with a moan about West Indies bringing on a part-timer in Matthews. But her quick offies prove might effective. Knight starts with a dab for two but is rushed into a swish across the line, losing her off bail. Stefanie Taylor’s had a good day in the field. And now she fancies turning her arm over again…

There’s the wicket West Indies and Australia wanted. And it’s come via a Hobart Hurricanes connection. Hayley Matthews gets one to go through Knight, who was attempting to find runs on the leg side without really moving her feet. Still – sound innings from the England skipper.

43rd over: England 170-5 (Knight 65, Gunn 7) That’s Anisa’s ten done now, too. Concedes just 32 from her set, plus the wicket of Brunt. Gunn and Knight are happy to see her off by finding singles to the boundary riders. Meanwhile, an Aussie perspective on what’s happening here at Bristol:

C'mon West Indies, time to remove Knight#WWC17#ENGvWI

42nd over: England 165-5 (Knight 62, Gunn 6) Heather’s flicked a switch... Dottin strays onto leg stump, twice, and is punished accordingly. The first is played neatly through midwicket. The second is hit through square leg and should be stopped by the fielder running around from fine. Instead, it runs through her legs for four more. A full toss follows but that is bunted to Hayley Matthews, patrolling the leg side sponge.

41st over: England 156-6 (Knight 53, Gunn 6) Anisa Mohammed and Deandre Dottin to bowl out here. Presumably Taylor will bring herself back soon, too. Mohammed’s over, here, isn’t anything special, but there’s nearly a catastrophic run out off the last ball, as neither Knight or Gunn are firm on whether a run should be taken and nearly end up at the same end.

40th over: England 153-6 (Knight 51, Gunn 5) Power Play done. Not quite as explosive as England would have hoped but there is a bit left in the tank for a tilt at 200-plus.

39th over: England 150-6 (Knight 50, Gunn 4) A third score of 50 or more this World Cup for Heather Knight, who has really had to graft for all 76 balls. Her three fours were a tad fortuitous but she’s still there and a lot rests on her shoulders.

38th over: England 147-6 (Knight 49, Gun 2) Afy Fletcher’s 10-overs finishes with only the second boundary scored off her bowling as Knight edges very fine to move to 49. Excellent spell from the leggie, who takes home figures of 3 for 33.

37th over: England 142-6 (Knight 45, Gunn 1) Fair enough from Brunt. Big hits are her game so no qualms with trying to go large down the ground. Jenny Gunn is the next bat in. She hit 39 on this ground against Australia two games ago...

Another fifty & another record for Mithali Raj. Her 10th 50+ score of 2017. The most ever in a calendar year. #WWC17https://t.co/ep71WF0T25

Brunt tries to clear the Suspension Bridge but forgets to watch the ball. Aguilleira does the rest.

36th over: England 139-5 (Knight 44, Brunt 13) First over of the batting Power Play doesn’t return a boundary but it does bring about this classic. Bristol DJ, we salute you:

THEY'RE PLAYING KRIS KROSS AT BRISTOL THIS IS NOT A DRILL #WWC17https://t.co/VlwGtLFFHY

35th over: England 135-5 (Knight 42, Brunt 11) Knight is subject to another appeal, as she walks across her stumps to work an off spinner from Anisa Mohammed behind square. The excessive turn saves her.

34th over: England 132-5 (Knight 40, Brunt 10) Katherine Brunt is all about sweeping the spinners. She’s not really got one out of the middle but what she is doing well is ensuring that her front pad is well out of the way to lessen the chance of an LBW. Big turning leggie coerces the most violent play-n-miss from Brunt. Knight survives an LBW appeal but only because they don’t go for a review! What a miss. But, above all else, a bad decision from the standing umpire.

Break for drinks. THIS

Joe Root is a tall short person. Much in the same way the lead singer of Keane is a skinny fat person. More examples of these genres please.

33rd over: England 130-5 (Knight 39, Brunt 9)

Two from the over. What’s a good score here? Discussion in the box with my table-mate Liam led us to something over 200. Didn’t really matter what. He’s not backing them to chase something of that size. Can England muster 120 from the next 17 overs? Probably not, but that’s them comfortably ahead if they do.

32nd over: England 128-5 (Knight 38, Brunt 8) Not sure why, but Brunt is following Fletcher off the pitch, seemingly ushering it through to the keeper with her bat. Not a great idea, given there’s a slip lurking. She almost gives that slip catching practice, but edges just short.

31st over: England 123-5 (Knight 33, Brunt 8) We’ve had, I’d say, three genuine run out chances at the bowler’s end this over. Each throw has had something wrong with it. The most notable was the second, as Knight put in a dive and was saved by a high throw. Look - it’s 12345!

30th over: England 118-5 (Knight 29, Brunt 7) “That’s it girl, that’s it! Beauty! Keep it there!” We rather brilliantly have a member of the West Indies coaching staff up on an adjoining balcony. He’s loving what Afy Fletcher is sending down. The last delivery turns big, squaring up Brunt and just missing her outside edge. Class.

29th over: England 114-5 (Knight 28, Brunt 4) Tidy from Mohammed, who doesn’t have to do anything special, really. England have to force the pace off a pitch that they can’t really trust.

28th over: England 112-5 (Knight 27, Brunt 3) Very vocal encouragement from the West Indies balcony, which is located to the right of the media box as you look out onto the pitch. Fletcher’s having a party, especially as Brunt seems willing to play a shot a ball. A swot to the leg side brings two...

27th over: England 110-5 (Knight 27, Brunt 1) Wowsers... an offie from Mohammed turns big down the leg side for a wide having pitched outside off!

26th over: England 105-5 (Knight 24) Touch of carelessness to this innings from England. Wouldn’t say that the shots they’ve played have been reckless but I bet they’d love to have a few of them back. Wilson tried to force that sweep when she might have been better placed to meet it with a straighter bat.

England in the thick stuff here @Vitu_E but a long way to go. Grind out the next ten and then put the foot on the gas. We've got this.

Brilliant review from Stafanie Taylor, who is doing a lot right today. Umpire says not out for a caught behind shout as Wilson attempts to sweep. But upon review, there’s a clear edge off the toe of the bat.

25th over: England 101-4 (Knight 21, Wilson 4) Anisa Mohammed, off spinners out of the grey sky, comes on from the Bristol Pavilion End. Single to midwicket brings up the team 100. The second fifty took 90 balls...

Elsewhere, a crucial break in the Derby weather for New Zealand

UPDATE: Play back underway with no overs lost. IND 60-2; Raj 33*, Kaur 10* with 32 overs left in their innings.#INDvNZ

24th over: England 99-4 (Knight 20, Wilson 3) Smart from England. No use just sitting back to Afy Fletcher and let her bowl out her 10 overs for spit. Wilson and Knight use their feet to work some angles for singles all around the wicket. Knight drops one to cover, runs, doesn’t realise the fielder has fluffed the pick-up and put in a brilliantly unncessary dive.

23rd over: England 95-4 (Knight 18, Wilson 1) Wilson off the mark with a reverse dab for one. Tidy, that.

22nd over: England 91-4 (Knight 15, Wilson 0) Double wicket maiden for Fletcher! Outrageous scenes. Fran Wilson, who kicked off the tournament with 81 against India, hasn’t really had the chance to bat long. She does now.

Oh my... Sciver gone! Full, leg-spinning delivery from Fletcher turns back into the right-hander from leg stump and sets the lights off! There’s a Natmeg quip to be made here...

Another shot of the day, albeit on a list of a different theme. Beaumont tries to paddle over the keeper, but with so little pace on the ball, she ends up just teeing it up in the air for the keeper. Simple.

21st over: England 91-2 (Beaumont 42, Knight 15) Shot of the day so far. Taylor, on off stump, is panged over extra cover gloriously by Beaumont, who uses her feet to get to the pitch of the ball and clear the ring.

20th over: England 85-2 (Beaumont 37, Knight 14)

Afy Fletcher, leggies out the back of her hand, comes on to replace Peters. Naturally, there’s a full toss but the rest land and turn nicely. Manageable turn, though. Beaumont finds a single under Taylor at cover, who gives it the Tower Bridge.

19th over: England 82-2 (Beaumont 36, Knight 12) Quality from Beaumont. Rather than snatch at one, she waits on a ball from Taylor that drifts into her pads. Out comes the sweep, away goes the ball, fine, for four. She really is a player transformed.

18th over: England 75-2 (Beaumont 31, Knight 10) Wides, anyone? Peters has the keeper up and bowls one into the footmarks, which shoots away fine to the boundary. For those keeping score, that’s now 22. A single down to long on takes Knight to double figures for the first time in three innings.

17th over: England 68-2 (Beaumont 30, Knight 9) Hmmmmm... a chance goes begging and I’m not really sure how. Taylor’s line draws an attempted dab sweep from Beaumont. But she’s not in the right position for the shot and ends up plinking it up in the air. However, Aguilleira isn’t sharp enough to get in front of the stumps and take the catch.

16th over: England 67-2 (Beaumont 29, Knight 9) Akeira Peters continues after drinks and just one is taken. Run that is. Think you’re allowed to have a swig of more than one drink at the interval. That would be overly draconian for what is essentially an ICC ad-break.

15th over: England 66-2 (Beaumont 28, Knight 9) Don’t know if we can describe Stafanie Taylor as an off-spinner. She’s a top-spinner, if anything. Getting right over the ball and getting it to drop just in front of the batsmen. Beaumont and Knight play it sensibl enough. Quick interlude for drinks.

14th over: England 64-2 (Beaumont 27, Knight 8) Two runs from that over Peters who has no pace to work with. Looks like Dottin is having a rest and we’ll get some of Stafanie Taylor’s twirlers.

13th over: England 62-2 (Knight 26, Knight 7) Dottin strays onto the hip of Knight, allowing her a pretty easy four with a thick inside nick. The media box scorer has announced that we’ve had three overs without a wide. It’s all in the details.

12th over: England 58-2 (Beaumont 26, Knight 3) Continuing theme of left-arm but Joseph has been given a blow (a fine first spell of five overs, one for 29. Akeira Peters, proper mediums, replaces her. Three runs taken.

Meanwhile, in Leicester, a presentation for Shashikala Siriwardena. What a class act. A previous captain of Sri Lanka, she’s had to battle injuries to make it to this World Cup. Over a century of scalps to her name, too and she’s also Sri Lanka’s second-highest runscorer.

Congratulations to Shashikala Siriwardena who becomes the first player to reach 100 Women's ODIs for @OfficialSLC! #PAKvSL#WWC17pic.twitter.com/57rHtFn8nq

11th over: England 55-2 (Beaumont 25, Knight 1) Wow. Suddenly, West Indies have kicked it up a gear. A great stop at backward point ensures that Knight doesn’t get off strike too qucikly. She does eventually, though, edging through gully for a single. Louder in the field, quieter in the stands...

FIRST BALLER FOR SARAH TAYLOR! Big scalp for Dottin and celebrated accordingly with the Vincenzo Montella airplane – arms out, giving it the full sprint. Taylor just felt for one outside off stump, edging right into Matthews’ breadbasket.

10th over: England 54-2 (Beaumont 25, Taylor 0) When Lauren falls, Tammy learns. Joseph drops short to her, but she rolls her wrists to get the ball behind square leg, bisecting the two fielders out on the leg side. Power Play done – 44 dot balls in it and a rather naff 17 wides...

Oh Lauren Winfield – how to ruin a beautiful (ish) start...

Oh Lauren. Another start, another failure. Joseph drops one short, probably not deliberately, but there is a fielder out where Winfield hooks it. Hayley Matthews, one of the better fielders in this West Indies side, takes the catch on the fence.

9th over: England 45-0 (Beaumont 19, Winfield 11) Decent crowd considering there’s nothing really riding on this game and the weather isn’tthe best. Dottin seems to have lost that early movement and is struggling to control her lines, sending one wide for four. Nice shot for two from Beaumont, through midwicket ends the over.

8th over: England 34-0 (Beaumont 17, Winfield 8) Winfield, fed up of seeing Tammy have all the fun, tries to force Joseph through the off side. She gets one away, but a brilliant chase and dive from Hayley Matthews means Winfield has to do the work herself. Three to her and the strike for the next over...

If you don’t follow this account, you should. Stats and insight for days.

Interesting choice by West Indies to field 1st. They've won just two run chases away from home (both vs Sri Lanka) since the 2013 WC. #WWC17

7th over: England 28-0 (Beaumont 17, Winfield 3) So good from TB. Bit of width from Dottin and she opens the face into a square drive for four beyond backward point. Meanwhile, there’s a proper “quarter-final” taking place at Derby. New Zealand, bowling first, have made a handy start...

WICKET! India two down! Mandhana is bowled by Hannah Rowe! India 21/2 #INDvNZ#WWC17pic.twitter.com/tf3hnfY7wB

6th over: England 21-0 (Beaumont 11, Winfield 3) WHAM! Beaumont finally gets one out of the screws. Joseph drops short and the pint-sized puncher from down Kent way laces a pull through square leg and away into a bush beyond the advertising boards. Four bits. Slight delay, though, as West Indies, with the help of a few ICC reps, struggle to locate the ball. Moments after it is returned, Beaumont sends it back away to the sponge, this time at extra cover.

You’re welcome

My favourite Merissa Aguilleira fact: her sister is a singer and, together, they made this Christmas song https://t.co/VvM7NSWANW#WWC17

5th over: England 12-0 (Beaumont 3, Winfield 3) Fair play to Beaumont. She doesn’t fancy ceding much ground to Dottin, who is tying her in knots. She walks down to throw the seamer off her length but finds nothing but air.

4th over: England 11-0 (Winfield 3, Beaumont 2) Winfield’s off and running, whipping away behind square leg for a couple. The same shot brings her a single the very next ball. It’s a used pitch, by the way, though one that has been “brought back to life” as England coach Mark Robinson put it.

3rd over: England 6-0 (Winfield 0, Beaumont 1) Beaumont’s struggling a bit with the movement Dottin is getting. So is Aguilleira. Somehow, despite the ball coming through to her after a couple of bounces, she falls out of the way and lets the ball race away for the first boundary of the day. Meanwhile, at Leicester, in the For Northing Derby:

Covers slowwwwwwly coming off at Leicester. #SoggyWoodenSpoon#WWC17

2nd over: England 1-0 (Beaumont 1, Winfield 0) Qiana Joseph – 16! – takes the white nut from the Ashley Down Road End. There’s no great pace, but her angle across the right-hander tempts Beaumont into a bit of a naff waft at a delivery she should have probably put away. She waits a little longer and keeps herself a little steadier to find a single to backward point.

1st over: England 0-0 (Winfield 0, Beaumont 0) A bit happening out there with the new ball with the lights on and a think covering of cloud above. Dottin’s getting it to tail in late and strikes Winfield on the pad for a sizeable appeal. Doing too much, though. Would have rushed down leg and given Merissa Aguilleira something to dive for. We’re off with a maiden...

Right, cricket imminent. Deandra Dottin opening up from the Pavilion End. Tammy Beaumont, the comp’s leading run-getter, out to do the batting with Lauren Winfield, who has been hitting the ball well enough for us to throw out there that she’s DUE A SCORETM...

Stafanie Taylor fancies a chase. Heather Knight thinks it might turn later. England are unchaged. West Indies opt for the one alteration. Lights on here, too:

England: L Winfield, T Beaumont, S Taylor, H Knight, N Sciver, F Wilson, K Brunt, J Gunn, A Shrubsole, L Marsh, A Hartley

Morning, morning, morning from a pretty dank Bristol. Can’t complain too much, though. Compared to the Champions Trophy, the Women’s World Cup has got off lightly in terms of the weather. It’s that weird, noncommittal rain (I think they call it Brizzle out here). If we were the other side of Hadrian’s Wall, we’d call it “Dreich”. Still, there’s been no word of a delayed start just yet, though it is a bit wet underfot. England are out there kicking a ball around. West Indies opting the warmth of indoors for now.

We could definitely do with a game here. England are top and in control of their own destiny. Winning the group means they’ll be able to stay put for their semi-final against fourth-place on Tuesday. If Australia, in action against South Africa, win and England don’t pick up two points, then England will finish second and have to travel for Derby for a match on Thursday. Extra time off, sure, but a pain nonetheless.

Vish will be here shortly. Meanwhile, read his interview with Nat Sciver about the ‘Natmeg’ and England’s tournament so far.

In one sentence, uttered in the aftermath of England’s World Cup win over New Zealand, we cut to the core of Nat Sciver. She was speaking after blazing 129 from 111 balls: a knock that began at 52 for three and allowed England to reach 284 for nine. But never mind that. Tell us about “The Natmeg”.

On 79, Sciver deliberately hit a leg-stump yorker through her legs for two. It’s a shot she plays in the nets: her wide stance, she explained, meaning she can only move her front foot once. Readjustment comes from the hands. Sciver is not the first to play the shot – more boringly known as “The Draw” – and she won’t be the last. She even admitted an element of luck to the stroke, before remarking: “Everyone’s like” ‘Ah! So close to getting the wicket.’ I am like: ‘Hehe.’”

Related: ‘Natmeg needs some luck’, says England’s cricketing innovator Nat Sciver

Continue reading...

South Africa end day two with 205-run lead as England collapse: second Test, day two - as it happened

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South Africa took control of the match with a superb bowling performance that left England looking down the barrel at Trent Bridge

Related: England’s Jimmy Anderson frustrated by batting display against South Africa

Related: Joe Root fights fire with fire but Gary Ballance burns latest England chance | Ali Martin

Related: England collapse as Faf du Plessis pulls strings for South Africa

22nd over: South Africa 75-1 (Elgar 38, Amla 23) Liam Dawson bowls the last over. Nothing happens, and South Africa finish the day with a huge lead of 205. They have been quietly brilliant in this match: all skills, no frills, as nobody once said. England started the day well but fell off a cliff from the moment Joe Root was dismissed by the admirable Morne Morkel. By the end, they looked a beaten team. Three points for self-awareness, I suppose, because there is surely no way out of this predicament. We’ve got a belting series on our hands now! Thanks for your company today, see you in the morning.

21st over: South Africa 75-1 (Elgar 38, Amla 23) Elgar hops away in pain after being hit on the left forearm by a nasty Stokes lifter. This pitch will not be much fun in the fourth innings. Elgar gets a spray from the physio and plays out the remainder of Stokes’s over with as little contact between bat and ball as possible.

“Mac Millings must be very confident,” says Felix Wood, “that Viv Richards doesn’t read the OBO.”

20th over: South Africa 75-1 (Elgar 38, Amla 25) “If England don’t know why they are losing, it’s because there was a complete overreaction to South Africa’s performance at Lord’s,” says Altus Momberg. “They are generally slow starters to a series (remember day one at the Oval in 2012) and their record since 2006 should have awarded them the benefit of doubt.”

You’re right. I was guilty of that over-reaction too; I thought that if England started well in this game they would possibly win all seven Tests this summer. It’s nice to be wrong, because this has been an excellent match and South Africa’s win will set up humdingers at the Oval and Old Trafford.

19th over: South Africa 75-1 (Elgar 38, Amla 25) Root is back, and Stokes is into the attack. The day started with his trousers falling down and, well, you can do the rest. Amla survives a big LBW appeal, and England eventually decide not to go upstairs. It was the kind of appeal on which you risk your first review but not your second. Hawkeye showed it was Umpire’s Call on the point of contact with leg stump, so England did the right thing. Nothing ventured, nothing lost.

“For a long while, it was the most intimidating 20 seconds in cricket,” says Mac Millings. “But towards the end of his career - and long before his doctors - I had diagnosed Viv Richards’s haemorrhoids simply from his walk to the wicket.”

18th over: South Africa 73-1 (Elgar 37, Amla 23) Joe Root has left the field, possibly to check the returns policy on the England captaincy. Amla drives Moeen lazily down the ground for four and then hoicks a full toss to the boundary. When he took over, Root said he wanted England to fight harder in adversity. They haven’t done that today.

“On the subject of Viv,” says Adam Roberts, “a compilation of his walks to the wicket, esp in the Windies and super esp in Antigua would be wonderful viewing.”

17th over: South Africa 63-1 (Elgar 36, Amla 14) Amla survives an LBW appeal after walking across his stumps to Broad. It was going down. Broad’s mood is going in a similar direction, even more so when Elgar times him down the ground for four.

16th over: South Africa 58-1 (Elgar 32, Amla 14) Moeen replaces Wood. Elgar drives loosely, not far wide of the diving Cook at short extra cover and away for four. South Africa lead by 188. England need snookers.

15th over: South Africa 53-1 (Elgar 28, Amla 13) That’s loose from Broad, a leg-stump freebie that Elgar puts away to the midwicket boundary. A thick edge later in the over scuttles through the slips for four more. England have the confused, affronted look of a team who know they are beaten, but don’t understand how or why it has happened.

14th over: South Africa 45-1 (Elgar 20, Amla 13) Wood looks relatively flat, and being hit round the park won’t help. Amla guides a boundary to third man and pulls witheringly for another. Wood’s response is an impressive bouncer that rips through to Bairstow. He averages 144 in this series and 39 in this Test career; we all know he’s better than that.

“That compilation of Viv’s tosses is something else, Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “He was a man operating on a different planet to the rest of us. Supreme confidence, skill, elan & menace, wrapped up into cricket whites. That video below of his last Test innings is bittersweet for me. I idiotically decided to go on holiday rather than accompany my twin brother to the Oval. As it happened, my brother was stood below the dressing room as he walked up the steps for the last time. I was 16, and I’m still angry with myself. Bloody teenagers, eh.”

13th over: South Africa 37-1 (Elgar 20, Amla 5) There are 15 overs to bowl but we won’t get them all as there are only 40 minutes’ play remaining. Broad replaces Anderson, who finishes the day with combined figures of five for 17 but, crucially, only one for 13 in this innings. Elgar edges short of second slip, where Root dives smartly to his left to save the boundary. His aggression and energy in the field this evening hasn’t quite been matched by his team. I’d love to hear what he says behind closed doors at the close of play.

“I’d watch The Best Of Graham Thorpe’s Chin-Strap Waggles,” says Phil Sawyer. “More than would be healthy.”

12th over: South Africa 33-1 (Elgar 17, Amla 5) The ball isn’t doing nearly as much as it did in the first half of the day. Amla is taking his time, and he always has plenty of that, with a view to batting England out of the game in the morning.

11th over: South Africa 32-1 (Elgar 16, Amla 4) Amla forces the ball back towards Anderson, with the ball dropping a couple of yards short. The crowd are very quiet, save the odd drunken chant. There’s no sense that South Africa are under any pressure. They have done an extremely impressive number on England in this game. It all goes back to Faf du Plessis choosing to bat first when the easy, weak option was for them to bowl.

“Hard to see why Wood v Amla when the batsman ought to be known as, if not Broad’s bunny, then at least his hare,” says John Starbuck. “Broad’s got him out more than any other bowler so, all right, it’s a surprise, but not one he couldn’t get over pretty quickly.”

10th over: South Africa 32-1 (Elgar 16, Amla 4) A maiden fae Wood to Elgar. This has been Root’s first bad day as England captain, and he looks a bit agitated as he waits at second slip. It’s hard to discern how poorly England have played, because South Africa have been so good. Part of me thinks England haven’t done that much wrong; another part of me would drop the lot of them and call up Tim Curtis.

Meanwhile, here’s Andrew Benton. “Here’s something to listen to while we’re following Elgar’s batting exploits.”

9th over: South Africa 32-1 (Elgar 16, Amla 4) Amla defends diligently and expertly throughout a maiden from Anderson. He knows that if South Africa are one down at the close, they will win this match.

“Hi Rob,” says Pete Salmon. “For around about the last 20 years, whenever I have trouble sleeping I imagine Mark Taylor leaving the ball outside off stump until I nod off. May not be to everyone’s taste, but that’s a DVD I’d pay good money for. Sort of ASMR for the cricket tragic.”

8th over: South Africa 32-1 (Elgar 16, Amla 4) Mark Wood replaces Stuart Broad, an interesting and risky move from Joe Root. I think they fancy Wood against Amla early in his innings. Elgar is on strike for the time being, and he pushes a couple of nice boundaries through the off side to lift Wood’s series average to 129.

“You’d drop Ali?” sniffs Alex McGillivray. “Come on Smyth!”

7th over: South Africa 22-1 (Elgar 6, Amla 4) This is the game, right here. There are still 20 overs remaining, and if England get Amla early they could - could - do some gamechanging damage tonight.

This situation is not the fault of Anderson or Broad. As if to prove the point, Anderson strikes. Kuhn pushed defensively at a good delivery that took the edge, and Root grabbed an excellent low catch at second slip. Anderson has taken five for 13 today.

6th over: South Africa 18-0 (Kuhn 8, Elgar 6) “The problem is that England are effectively carrying four players - Jennings, Ballance, Dawson and (regrettably because I’m a big fan) Wood,” says Phil Harrison. “Normally you’ll have one or two out of nick or feeling their way into Test cricket. Four is too many. Woakes for Wood, Rashid for Dawson and the two batters I mentioned get one more game to shape up. But only because I’m not sure there are many better options.”

Yes, that’s an excellent point. Teams almost always carry one or two but four is a lot. I still think the balance of the team is the fundamental problem though. When they make a change, and I don’t think they should after this game, I’d like to see Stoneman get a chance.

5th over: South Africa 16-0 (Kuhn 8, Elgar 4) Anderson shapes a gorgeous outswinger past Kuhn’s outside edge. He must be in a great mood, having been asked to bowl again a few hours after taking four for four.

England’s desperation manifests itself in a dodgy review. Kuhn survived a big LBW appeal from Anderson, with doubts over the point of contact and also height. England reviewed it regardless; replays showed it was bouncing over the top.

4th over: South Africa 10-0 (Kuhn 6, Elgar 2) “Was just chatting with a mate about the reasons for Dawson’s inclusion in the side,” says Rob Petersen. “By the time the conversation concluded, we both agreed that we’d pay good money to watch a collection of Adil Rashid’s finest full tosses and half-trackers. Wondering what other cricket DVDs fellow OBO readers would like to see.”

Mine is already on YouTube. Only Sir Viv Richards could make a compilation of tosses so compelling.

3rd over: South Africa 7-0 (Kuhn 5, Elgar 2) The 130-run lead, in a low-scoring game, takes so much pressure of the South African openers. If the lead was 40, every stroke would be fraught with peril. Now it doesn’t matter so much when Elgar is beaten thrice in a superb over from Anderson. South Africa know they anything over 200 in this innings should make them safe.

We now know the #WWC17 line ups:

England vs South Africa in Bristol on Tuesday
Australia vs India in Derby on Thursday#bbccricket

Since you asked, this would be my team for the first Test against the West Indies, all things being equal: Cook, Hameed, Someone or Stoneman, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Buttler, Woakes or Wood, Rashid, Broad, Anderson.

2nd over: South Africa 5-0 (Kuhn 5, Elgar 0) Kuhn launches the kitchen sink at a wide delivery from Broad, and meets only the fresh Nottingham air. A maiden.

“In a top-tier Test match,” says David Russell, “can England’s start of three for two be worsened?”

Related: The Spin | Remembering when South Africa reduced England to two for four | Rob Smyth

1st over: South Africa 5-0 (Kuhn 5, Elgar 0) Anderson’s first ball is a piece of filth that Kuhn flicks for four. Great stuff. He’s on the money thereafter. England’s main hope of victory involves Anderson taking six for 23 this evening.

“I like the idea of the Outrage Bus,” says Phil Sawyer. “If we could kit it out so it’s like the TARDIS on the inside and able to fit every frothing-at-the-mouth keyboard warrior in the world into it, I’d happily volunteer to then drive it over the edge of a cliff for the sake of humanity.”

“This Test is doing little to dispel my fear that England have had some very good teams since 2005 but now there is a lack of next cabs off the rank,” says Felix Wood. “Cook Broad and Anderson will retire soon, and I don’t see them being replaced. That and an injury to Root would see us with a very average team indeed.”

Hameed will replace Cook but I agree about the quicks. England’s problem is that they have too much of a good thing, that thing being allrounders. This group of allrounders, rather unusually, look better on the pitch than they do on paper. Purely in statistical terms, Stokes, Moeen and Dawson would not get into the team as batsman or bowler. That, and the weak top order, is the reason they have stagnated since the summer of 2015.

That’ll do. Wood fends a nasty short ball to slip to complete a dramatic collapse from 143 for three. South Africa were terrific in the field, both brainy and brawny, and they have what should be a decisive first-innings lead of 130. See you in 10 minutes for their second innings.

51st over: England 201-9 (Wood 2, Anderson 0) Hurry up lads.

50th over: England 200-9 (Wood 1, Anderson 0) Wood fends off a hot one from Morris, with the resulting single taking England to 200. These two should just hit out and get bowling; England’s best chance of a win is to do an Old Trafford 2008, only with swing rather than spin. Anderson could - could - bowl South Africa out for 100 tonight, and if it’s sunny tomorrow we know batting will be much easier. The likeliest scenario, of course, is an emphatic and deserved South African victory.

“On TMS they make it clear that the umpire probably had a sensory conflict, so that he thought he heard a nick - probably bat on clothing - and didn’t trust his eyes,” says John Starbuck. “When you think of recent DRS revelations, maybe you can’t blame him.”

49th over: England 199-9 (Wood 0, Anderson 0) “That decision is not even in the same postcode as the worst umpiring howlers on record, (there was a noise as he wafted it at too so it wasn’t unreasonable) so I think everyone should hop off the outrage bus,” says Oli Smiddy. “And if we’re talking about umpiring howlers in the context of England, I really can’t see past Broad in 2013.”

I never understood the fuss about that one. He only really missed an edge to the keeper, which happens all the time.

England were 143 for three when Joe Root was dismissed. They are now 199 for nine. Dawson tries to get on with it by slog-sweeping Maharaj, and mishits it high to short fine leg.

48th over: England 199-8 (Dawson 13, Wood 0) I’ll say it again: Mark Wood keeps out Morris’s hat-trick ball, an attempted yorker than ends up as a full toss. A double-wicket maiden is decent consolation.

48th over: England 199-8 (Dawson 13, Wood 0) Mark Wood keeps out Morris’s hat-trick ball, an attempted yorker than ends up as a full toss. A double-wicket maiden is decent consolation.

This is some fightback from South Africa. From the moment du Plessis chose to bat in dodgy conditions, they have played with pride, courage, intelligence and skill. England have been loose but I think this turnaround is more about South African excellence.

Broad goes for a golden duck! It took a review, even though he was plumb LBW to a very full delivery from Chris Morris. You have to feel for the umpire Simon Fry, who has had a desperate 20 minutes.

The Chris Morris plan has worked! Moeen, his weight not forward because of the threat of the short ball, drives loosely and straight to du Plessis at cover point.

47th over: England 199-6 (Moeen 18, Dawson 13) This is an important innings for Dawson. A solid 40, in support of Moeen, would temporarily quieten those who don’t think he’s a Test player. He moves into double figures by sweeping a loose delivery from Maharaj for four.

46th over: England 195-6 (Moeen 18, Dawson 9) Morris is a surprising choice ahead of Philander and Morkel, especially as he has bowled poorly today. Nasser Hussain, on Sky, reckons there might be a plan to rough Moeen up.

Worst umpiring?” says Gary Naylor.

45th over: England 193-6 (Moeen 16, Dawson 9) I’m still trying to process that decision against Dawson. It reminded me a bit of this, such was the daylight between bat and ball.

I reckon that is going to go down as one of the worst umpiring decisions ever!! #ENGvRSA

You weren’t there in the 80s, son. (But it’s the worst I can remember in the DRS era.)

44th over: England 192-6 (Moeen 15, Dawson 9) Dawson does edge the next ball - for four. An angry Morris rams a short ball down the leg side and then slips a beauty past the outside edge. He seems to have a problem with Liams: he had a right go at Livingstone in the T20s, and now he’s not exactly radiating goodwill towards Dawson.

This is one of the great shockers. Dawson was given out caught behind by the umpire Simon Fry when he carved at Chris Morris. He reviewed the decision straight away and replays showed Dawson missed it by a mile. You have to feel for Fry, because that was a hideous mistake.

43rd over: England 186-6 (Moeen 15, Dawson 3) On a perfect day for seam bowlers, we’ll start the evening session with a battle of the spinners: Maharaj v Moeen and Dawson. In these conditions Maharaj was supposed to the stock bowler; so far he has been a shock bowler, taking the huge wickets of Ben Stokes and Jonny Bairstow. Two runs from a quiet first over.

“The last couple of days seem to have confirmed once and for all that Ben Stokes is the most illogically optimistic advocate for review taking since Matt Prior,” says Trevor Bond. “Given his vice captaincy, it is entirely possible that we will see a Stokes-led England team some time soonish. What’s the world record for how quickly a team have used up an allocation of reviews? I reckon the big lad would smash it.”

How England can win this match

Belt their way to 280 all out, reduce South Africa to 21 for four in helpful conditions tonight and hope the sun shines tomorrow.

Hello again. This Test match is turning into a nasty reality check for England. They have played like a Joe Root team, batting with almost reckless aggression - yet the result is the same as in the last days of Alastair Cook, when stirring wins were frequently followed by deflating defeats. The match isn’t over but England will need to play extremely well, and get lucky with the overhead conditions, to win this.

England remain in trouble and once again we can look forward to a session that may be crucial. Rob Smyth will be here shortly to write you through it – all emails here from now on, please. Bye!

42nd over: England 179-5 (Moeen 14, Dawson 2) The last over before tea and it’s bowled by Morris, his first action since the 15th over. Way back when Root hit his first two deliveries of the day for four, and seemed to knock his confidence in the process. It still hasn’t really recovered, and he leaks five runs here, with two dots.

41st over: England 179-5 (Moeen 10, Dawson 1) Spin, drift, dip – the wicket ball had all the things, and Maharaj has found himself a vein of form and is busily mining it. In comes Liam Dawson, who has a rapidly-shrinking average of 22 after four Test innings, one (the first) of 66 not out and three of 0. He avoids a quadruple-bagel, though, with a quick single.

That’s a lovely delivery! It spins, straightens, kisses the bat and then clips a stump!

40th over: England 176-5 (Bairstow 45, Moeen 9) Moeen punches the ball away through the covers for four. IMPORTANT TENNIS NEWS! Garbiñe Muguruza has only gone and won the Wimbledon!

39th over: England 172-5 (Bairstow 45, Moeen 5) Maharaj concedes but a single, and is the only bowler going at less than three an over in this innings, his four overs so far having cost 11 runs.

38th over: England 172-5 (Bairstow 45, Moeen 4) A maiden from Philander to Bairstow, with one beauty that moved a bit off the seam and beat the edge.

Lovely to watch the bowling unit operating together! Constantly asking questions of the English batters. Keep pushing boys

Maharaj loves a leftie: averages 23.13 v LHB, 32.75 v RHB #engvsa

37th over: England 172-5 (Bairstow 45, Moeen 4) Moeen Ali comes out and slams his first ball away for four, the first runs scored by a non-Yorkshireman since the second over of the innings. Before that shot (Rob Smyth’s stat, this) Yorkshire had scored 146 of the 149 runs off the bat in this innings.

The ball takes a tiny edge, hits the pad, hits the leg, hits De Kock in the gloves and then the shoulder, loops up, eventually settles in his gloves, and Ben Stokes is out for a duck! The TV umpire checks to see if the ball hit the keeper’s helmet on its way down but can’t be sure that it did, so Stokes is on his way.

REVIEW! Is Stokes out here? The on-field umpire has given him out caught behind, but it’s gone upstairs for a check …

36th over: England 168-4 (Bairstow 45, Stokes 0) Ooh! The ball leans away from Bairstow, who offers his bat but makes no contact. He certainly makes contact later, scooping the ball into the air towards mid on, where the complete absence of fielders saves his bacon. Four runs, and after 30 balls off Stokes is about to do some batting.

Test cricket at its best: a match in the balance on Saturday afternoon on a result wicket in front of a capacity crowd at Trent Bridge.

35th over: England 164-4 (Bairstow 41, Stokes 0) Maharaj returns, and after five dots Philander misfields to hand Bairstow a single. Bairstow has now faced 24 deliveries in a row, and remains on strike for the start of over 36.

34th over: England 163-4 (Bairstow 40, Stokes 0) Philander’s back. HawkEye suggests that the lbw claim would have failed anyway – the ball might have flicked a bail, but not with sufficient force to overturn the on-field decision. Bairstow celebrates with a thick outside edge which squirts past Bavuma at point but runs out of legs before the rope. Three runs. Bairstow has faced the last 18 deliveries and will be on strike for the start of over 35.

Oooh...close from SA. They think they have Bairstow when they review, but ultra-edge shows a spike and England survive. 160/4 #ENGvSApic.twitter.com/8GbIx4vrrb

Not out! There was a very slight inside edge, not visible even in slow-motion replays but revealed by UltraEdge.

REVIEW! Philander thinks he might have Bairstow lbw here! The on-field decision, however, is not out …

33rd over: England 159-4 (Bairstow 37, Stokes 0) Bairstow drives straight to Philander at extra cover, and Philander dives onto a patch of grass quite near the ball’s trajectory, but not actually on it, handing England four bonus runs. A couple of balls later the same batsman picks out a gap in the field and sends the ball to the cover boundary, Heino Kuhn sprinting and diving in an attempt to stop it only for the ball to flick his fingertips an carry on regardless.

32nd over: England 151-4 (Bairstow 29, Stokes 0) Ooof! Morkel’s first ball goes for four; his second comes off Bairstow’s inside edge and flashes just past the stumps!

31st over: England 144-4 (Bairstow 22, Stokes 0) Hello again! So, another key period in the Test lies ahead of us, as England cope, or don’t, with their captain’s departure. South Africa’s total remains nearly 200 runs distant, so there’s a lot of batting still to do.

30th over: England 143-4 (Bairstow 21, Stokes 0) That was Morkel’s 12th over of the innings, and it’s only been going for 30 overs He’s such an admirable, likeable cricketer. In other news, it’s time to hand you over to Simon Burnton for the rest of the session. You can email him here. See you after tea!

The indefatigable Morne Morkel takes a huge wicket! He has no right to still be bowling after the shift he has put in today, but now he has dismissed Joe Root. He launched into a drive at a tempting outswinger that took the edge, and de Kock took an excellent diving catch in front of first slip. Root played a gem of an innings, 78 from 76 balls in bowler-friendly conditions, but his dismissal leaves England in trouble.

29th over: England 143-3 (Root 78, Bairstow 21) “I gather Ian Copestake’s literary accomplishments include the tantric classic (18th over),” says Brian Withington, “but I wonder did he also pen the rather more steamy ‘Fifty Shades of Flannel’ under a nom de plume?”

28th over: England 140-3 (Root 77, Bairstow 19) A leg-side short ball from Morkel is pulled round the corner for four by Root. He has 77 from 74 balls and is on course for the fastest Test century by an England captain - Graham Gooch biffed one from 95 balls in his Test against India at Lord’s in 1990.

27th over: England 130-3 (Root 72, Bairstow 19) Olivier replaces Philander, which allows Bairstow to breathe for the first time in his innings. He takes eight from three deliveries, including a decisive clout to the cover boundary.

26th over: England 121-3 (Root 71, Bairstow 11) Morkel continues, so perhaps Faf du Plessis is going to persist with the tactic of having a World XI at both ends and then Ilford 2nds from both ends. Root is hit in the chest when he tries to pull that doesn’t get up as much as he anticipated; a thick-edged steer bring his 11th four; and then Bairstow is beaten on the inside by another cracking delivery from Morkel.

“I’d think 27 is a nothing score in the context of playing nicely until lunch, then driving at a full inswinger directly afterwards,” sys Rob Petersen. “Still, I guess it’s better than 0 or 3. Also reminds me of my favourite ever 27, scored by a certain M.R. Ramprakash on debut, against the likes of Marshall, Ambrose, and Walsh. That wasn’t a nothing score.”

25th over: England 114-3 (Root 64, Bairstow 11) Root is playing on a different pitch to the other England batsmen, or perhaps in a different atmosphere. He looks in almost complete control, and when Philander drops fractionally short he slams a majestic pull for four.

24th over: England 107-3 (Root 58, Bairstow 11) South Africa’s mistake before lunch was to take Philander and Morkel off at the same time, allowing England to cut loose against the change bowlers. I doubt they will do that here, so this might be the last over of Morkel’s spell. Root plays a nice straight drive that is well fielded by Morkel in his follow through. Since reaching his fifty Root has scored six from 22 deliveries, though that is almost exclusively down to the quality of the bowling.

“Sting?” sniffs Guy Hornsby. “Tantric cover drives? Mind reading? Let’s be honest, getting inside the mind of the OBOer is a dangerous business. If it’s not Copestake or Starbuck’s musings, we’ve got Millings’ XIs and Netherton’s shopping lists. Lord knows what we’d uncover after a few liver preservers. Does anyone know what Eileen Drewery is up to these days?”

23rd over: England 106-3 (Root 57, Bairstow 11) Root works Philander through midwicket for a couple. He’s trying to launch the second counter-attack of the innings, but it’s not easy against this bowling. England will be happy enough to see these two off because of what comes next - or rather what doesn’t, because of the suspension of Kagiso Rabada.

“Rob,” says Mac Millings. “When it comes to lessons in brutality (13th over) and sensuality (18th), who better to instruct us all than a man who has devoted his entire life to a 16-word poem about chickens and a wet wheelbarrow?”

22nd over: England 103-3 (Root 54, Bairstow 11) A grubber from Morkel whistles just past the off stump of Bairstow, who then gets a boundary with a thick-edged steer to third man. He’s had a torrid start to the innings, and life isn’t getting any easier: Morkel ends the over by cutting him in half with a beastly delivery.

“99.94% of the time, I would agree with you about 27 being a nothing score,” says Gary Naylor. “Today is the 0.06%.”

Ballance's Test career:

First 10 Tests: 1019 runs @ 67.93, 4 100s, 5 50s
Last 13 Tests: 475 runs @ 19.79, 0 100s, 2 50s#ENGvSA

21st over: England 99-3 (Root 54, Bairstow 7) Bairstow leans into a big drive at Philander and edges it a fraction of short of du Plessis at second slip. How did that not carry? This is brilliant cricket, with Philander and Morkel bowling immaculately. Philander beats Bairstow again later in the over. He’s making the ball talk more than six barbers.

20th over: England 95-3 (Root 53, Bairstow 4) Morkel turns Root round with a cracking delivery that hits him high on the back pad. This is a significant spell in the game because you know batting will be less hazardous against Morris, Olivier and Maharaj. We’re only four sessions in but this has been a fantastic Test match.

“Surely, if you were in a state of tantric bliss, you wouldn’t want anything else, so why go shopping?” says John Starbuck. “Ommmm….”

19th over: England 94-3 (Root 52, Bairstow 4) Philander greets Bairstow with a storming off-cutter that hits him high on the thigh and deflects for four leg-byes. The next ball is a fraction too straight and Bairstow flicks it crisply to the midwicket boundary. Philander is bowling beautiful, as you’d expect in these conditions, and finishes the over by zipping one past Bairstow’s outside edge.

Done him! Vernon Philander strikes with his first ball after lunch. It was full and tailing back in to Ballance, who dragged the ball onto his pad and back onto the stumps. Ballance made 27 from 37 balls, his third nothing score of the series. It was a bit of a nothing shot too, an indecisive push-drive at a ball that didn’t come back as I originally thought.

18th over: England 86-2 (Ballance 27, Root 52) Morne Morkel starts after lunch, inducing a thick inside-edge from Ballance that goes for a single. This has already been a game of Pass the Initiative, and South Africa should tell themselves that dismissing Root would drag the game back in their favour.

“Statgasms be damned,” says Ian Copestake. “Thanks to Joe Root I am in the midst of one of those prolonged ones that people like Sting go on about, which lasts during outings to the shops and that.”

Watching Polly and Athers do their thing in the nets. Hope anyone young cricketer wanting to play at a higher level takes notes. Brilliant

Amen to this. Sky’s cricket masterclasses are quite exceptional. If only something similar had been available for a young offspinner in 1988, maybe a John Emburey masterclass on the BBC, I might not be here now.

A mild lunchtime statgasm This is a match for experienced bowlers, who know exactly how to take advantage of helpful conditions. Broad, Anderson, Morkel and Philander have taken 10 for 175 between them; the rest have combined figures of two for 229.

Hello all, Rob here. The Joe Root counter-attack is one of the finest sights in cricket. I doubt he’ll ever top Cardiff 2015, when he played one of the greatest tone-setting Ashes innings of all time, but this morning was still pretty special. England were three for two when he walked to the crease; in the next hour he raced to a 40-ball fifty, effecting the fourth significant momentum switch in this fascinating match. It was a modern captain’s innings, with the focus on initiative-seizing rather than defiance.

He was excellently supported by Gary Ballance, who continued his encouraging start to the series. Ballance is such an ugly batsman that he seems to score fewer runs than he actually does; his Test average is higher than those of Moeen Ali, Ben Stokes and Jos Buttler. They have the opposite problem - their batting is so stylish and persuasive that it sometimes feels like they score more runs than is actually the case.

That was just totally splendid from Joe Root, and England end the session resurgent. The first 45 minutes of the morning was just wild, but together Root and Ballance appear to have tamed it.

17th over: England 85-2 (Ballance 25, Root 52) A bit of spin to end the session. Root takes no risks, and clips one off the back foot for a fine four.

16th over: England 80-2 (Ballance 25, Root 48) Drama! Well, mild drama! Root hits the ball straight into the ground, and thence into a fielder’s hands. South Africa think he might have hit it into his toe, and thus be out. They check with the TV umpire. He didn’t. Olivier’s next ball is short and wide, and Root heaves it over midwicket for four, enjoying it so much he does it again a couple of balls later, and then he tickles the last to third man for four. Root came in a 3-2 and has since faced 38 balls and scored 48 runs.

15th over: England 70-2 (Ballance 25, Root 38) Morris’s second delivery is very full and also very wide, and Ballance flings out a bat to divert it over gully for four. A single later, Morris gets one to move away from Root off the seam and the batsman reaches for it uncomfortably and misses. Ooooh! Says the crowd. Promise. Encouragement. Then, another into the pads, and a few more easy runs.

Faf is faffing about. England's senior seamers took 8 of 10 wickets and Faf's experienced men already had two when hooked @simon_burnton

14th over: England 62-2 (Ballance 20, Root 35) Olivier’s second over, much likes the first, features one delivery that’s much too straight, and which Root clips away. This time it’s fielded on the rope and yields just two.

13th over: England 60-2 (Ballance 20, Root 33) South Africa were 25-1 after 13 overs. Has the pitch really switched so swiftly from belter to benign? “This is so poor from South Africa,” complains Ian Copestake. “Talk about taking the foot off the throat!”

12th over: England 54-2 (Ballance 17, Root 33) Duanne Olivier comes on, and immediately coaxes the ball to ease away from Root. The England captain leaves these alone, so Olivier tweaks his line, bowls into the pads, and Root flicks the final ball through square leg for four, the ball absolutely rocketing off the middle of the bat.

11th over: England 49-2 (Ballance 17, Root 29) Chris Morris does some bowling, and opens with something shortish, wideish and thumped square by Root for four. His second ball is similar, as is the outcome. The third isn’t much better, but this time Root finds a fielder and gets a single. Thus when Morris finally comes up with a ball that pitches fuller and moves gently away from a right-hander, there’s a left-hander at the crease.

10th over: England 39-2 (Ballance 16, Root 20) Ballance convinces another ball to zip wide of gully, who dives and stretches and can’t quite stop it. That’s four more. South Africa, disgruntled with the sudden reversal in fortunes, ask the umpires to check the ball. It passes. “Jennings looked OK till he got that ball and DI Gower said there’s not much you can do as a batsman and he knows a thing or two about batting,” writes Adam Roberts. “To discard Jennings on that basis would be like ejecting Cook for his. When a pitcher in baseball is on top form the commentators say he’s filthy. I’d say Philander is pretty filthy this morning.”

9th over: England 34-2 (Ballance 12, Root 19) The boundaries keep coming. Four wide of cover from Ballance, and then four more from the next, Morkel getting his line wrong and Ballance tickling to fine leg.

#ENGvSA@simon_burnton At Lord's #JoeRoot took 65 overs to get half of England's total (143 of 286-5). Today he did it in one ball: 3 of 6-2

8th over: England 26-2 (Ballance 4, Root 19) Shot! That’s the finest stroke of the day so far from Root, driving cleanly through the covers. His next shot also gets four runs though it’s a great deal less handsome, waving his bat at a high, wide delivery and edging it in the air, again just past gully. Then another lovely punch through cover off the back foot. Twelve runs from the over, four times as many as England scored from Philander’s three previous overs put together.

7th over: England 14-2 (Ballance 4, Root 7) Ballance edges Morkel’s final delivery, but it not only goes straight into the ground, it also goes wide of gully and runs away for four. Another offer of cricket for suitably inclined (and located) readers: “A bright and sunny Saturday in Rio can only mean one thing – cricket,” writes Adam Hirst. “The monthly match of the Carioca Cricket Club at the Sao Fernando ground in Itaguai! Home of the Brazilian National Cricket Championships too. New members always welcome, with a tour to Chile in October to play at the beautiful Santiago ground in the shadow of The Andes … Anyone interested can get in touch.”

6th over: England 7-2 (Ballance 0, Root 4) I’m not sure Jennings should be judged on this one: it was a peach of a delivery on a wild morning, it happens. Clearly memories of his debut century won’t last forever, but I’m a forgiving sort.

@Simon_Burnton So, Keaton Jennings Test opener. Discuss.

5th over: England 6-2 (Ballance 0, Root 3) Trent Bridge is serving up some magic and madness this morning. Root clips his first delivery through midwicket for three, doubling England’s score at a stroke: this morning has seen six wickets fall and 32 runs scored.

Six wickets fell in 90 overs on day one; six wickets have fallen in 10.3 overs and 63 minutes on day two. #EngvSA

And that’s two in two balls! Fine delivery, tiny bit of movement, edge, and an easy catch!

4th over: England 3-1 (Jennings 0, Ballance 0) An absolute mess of an over from Cook, who edged into his pads three times. The first sent the ball looping into the air, but there’s no fielder near enough to the bat to take it. Philander starts to sprint, realises the futility of it all, and stops. A couple of balls later it happens again; this time it doesn’t loop, and there’s still no close fielder. A couple of balls later there’s a tiny tickle off the bat, and he’s gone!

UltraEdge shows Cook got something on it, so it’s not lbw. But it was caught behind!

The umpire says no, but the appeal was loud and confident, and South Africa review instantly.

3rd over: England 3-0 (Cook 3, Jennings 0) Jennings leaves what he could leave – which was most of it – and defends the rest.

2nd over: England 3-0 (Cook 3, Jennings 0) Nice bowling from Philander, finding a good line and length and by and large sticking with it. When one goes too straight, Cook clips it off his pads and through midwicket for a couple.

1st over: England 1-0 (Cook 1, Jennings 0) It’s last out, first up for South Africa as Morkel takes the new ball. A little tickle for one from Cook.

The players are back out, and England should be on survival mode for rest of the session. If South Africa get a cooperative ball, the next hour or so could be tasty.

Lesson for England is to play straight, leave everything that can be left and play with soft hands 30-1 at lunch will be good @Simon_Burnton

Yesterday for Anderson: 120 deliveries, 68 runs conceded at 0.57 per ball, one wicket. Today: 20 deliveries, four runs conceded at 0.20 per ball, four wickets.

The only fast bowler with more five wicket hauls at a single ground than Anderson's 7 at Trent Bridge is 8 by Ian Botham at Lord's. #EngvSA

Anderson’s figures this morning: 3.2-2-4-4

A bit of height, a bit of away swing, a loose shot, a thin edge, an easy catch, and a five-fer for Anderson!

96th over: South Africa 335-8 (Morkel 8, Olivier 0) Another straight drive for four from Morkel, who has only hit two scoring shots and they were both that one. Broad, profoundly outswung by Anderson this morning, gets good movement with his final delivery, into Olivier, who gets a bat to it.

95th over: South Africa 330-8 (Morkel 4, Olivier 0) The ball is played near Stokes at cover, who dives, fields, leaps up, catches his trousers under one knee as the other pushes him upwards, exposes his undergarments, flings the ball at the stumps at the bowler’s end, and appears to pull a muscle in his side, all in a couple of action-packed seconds. Later, Morris drives nicely down the ground for four and, emboldened, tries to send the last ball of the over towards square leg. Mistake.

“I am sure Joe Neate has deployed the cunning notion of not actually getting players out because they are not very good,” writes Ian Copestake. “I wonder if England might wish to wait for conditions to ease before they start their own reply and so should tell Jimmy to reel the swing in.” Bit late for that now.

Another leading edge, and this time the ball loops back to the bowler, who juggles the ball a bit and then keeps it!

94th over: South Africa 326-8 (Morris 32, Morkel 4) Broad bangs on in short; Morris starts to duck, realises the ball is literally flying into his bat, so swings it a bit and sends it racing through midwicket for four. A single later, Morkel uncomfortably misses his first two deliveries, and then pushes the last down the ground for four more.

93rd over: South Africa 317-8 (Morris 27, Morkel 0) Anderson’s third delivery swings wildly into Maharaj. A little too wildly, it turns out, as it clips a pad and then disappears to the boundary for four. But it sets the batsman up for what’s to come, which is slight outswing next ball, and he’s gone. Excellent bowling, but for one poorly aimed delivery to welcome Morkel, which went down the leg side. “Be grateful for what we’ve got,” writes John Starbuck of the Nottingham weather. “Plenty of overcast helps our fast bowling, though if it lasts might also perturb our batsmen. In my experience, we are lucky to have it dry, as Nottingham is known for very sudden, very vicious hailstorms too.”

One ball swings into Maharaj, then the next goes straight, Maharaj nibbles, and Root takes a fine catch at second slip!

92nd over: South Africa 313-7 (Morris 27, Maharaj 0) The first runs of the day come from the fifth ball of Broad’s over, tickled to the fine leg boundary by Morris. The bowler responds with a short ball that hits the ducking batsman on the shoulder.

91st over: South Africa 309-7 (Morris 23, Maharaj 0) A promising opening over with the totally new nearly-new ball, which is already moving a bit. The final ball of the over is also the best, zipping past a befuddled Maharaj. Meanwhile, an appeal from Joe Neate:

“Each time I mention this, I seem to get at least one new player, so hoping you’re able to help again. Once again a motley group of part-time OBO readers are heading off for our fifth year on a couple of jaunts to play cricket, one in Brighton in mid-August, and then across in Italy in mid-September. You can read about our previous exploits here, and if you’re interested in turning out for us, any and all abilities are absolutely welcome. We also welcome umpires, scorers, spectators or people just want to ride a Vespa around a provincial Italian town. If you’re interested in either trip, drop me a mail at joe.neate@gmail.com.

The fifth ball of the day is angled into Philander, who attempts to turn it towards midwicket, but gets a thick leading edge, sending the ball steepling into the air and, eventually, into the hands of Dawson at cover!

The floodlights are on. 11am in July. This country.

Overcast at Trent Bridge. So dark even the fridge light is being utilised. Jimmy Anderson will be licking his chops.

309-6

Maybe it wasn’t fine: the umpires appear to be choosing a different one.

The players are out! Clad to a man in delightful knitwear. England start by asking the umpires to check the ball. They do. It’s fine.

Gary Naylor is on the scene. It’s currently about 17C in Nottingham, rising to peak at about 22C in the late afternoon.

Too chilly to boomerang this morning, but it might go a bit if England bowl full and straight with a long off as protection @Simon_Burnton

There’s a lot of cricket going on today, and the Guardian is all over it. Will Macpherson is watching South Africa play Australia in the Women’s World Cup:

Related: South Africa v Australia: Women's World Cup – live!

Related: England v West Indies: Women's World Cup – live!

Hello world!

So it’s all rather delicately poised, with South Africa on 309-6. The next session could be vital, which is as you’d want to be approaching the start of a day’s Test cricket. There’s thick, grey cloud over Nottingham this morning, a chill and a bit of moisture in the air. Rain is very unlikely, but wickets are probable. It’s all, in short, terribly exciting. Let’s have some fun!

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England v South Africa: second Test, day three – live!

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36th over: South Africa 114-1 (Elgar 67, Amla 33) England have gone to Plan B for Bodyline, with Stokes bowling some rough stuff to Amla from around the wicket. Amla does well to evade one ribtickler, and then Elgar edges short of the cordon. That’s drinks.

“I think the team is in limbo, to paraphrase the play, ‘Waiting for Woakes’,” says Chris Evans. “He adds more consistency that Wood and Stokes as the third seamer and more batting depth. Decision to keep out Has was wrong IMO. He just looked so much like a Test batter. YJB, if batting No5 needs to turn 40s and 50s into big hundreds more frequently, I think he bats like a No7 whose runs are a bonus rather than being a vital part of the engine.”

35th over: South Africa 113-1 (Elgar 67, Amla 32) Elgar tries to leave a ball from Wood that rushes onto the face of the bat before going to gully on the bounce. The problem for Wood and Stokes is not a dearth of good balls; it’s a surfeit of fourballs. Elgar steers another to the third-man boundary.

34th over: South Africa 108-1 (Elgar 63, Amla 31) A double bowling change, with Ben Stokes replacing Broad. South Africa battled hard to survive the first 50 overs and now they should get a few balls to hit. There’s one from Stokes, on the pads and flicked through midwicket for four. South Africa lead by 238 runs and - breaking news - are going to win this Test match.

“Mark Wood is one of the few to concentrate on one aspect of his play, even if it hasn’t come off in this game, so far,” says John Starbuck. “When he takes a splendid catch or scores a few it’s treated as a handy bonus. Broad used to be like that, at the start and he was talked up as a possible number 7; then his batting fell apart, for reasons we all know, and only lately has he hinted at regaining that. Anderson’s batting record was really odd, the tail-ender who never got out for a duck and the perennial nightwatchman. That no longer obtains, it seems. So much for the present side, but who would you pick as replacements for batting, bowling and all-rounding?”

33rd over: South Africa 104-1 (Elgar 59, Amla 31) Mark Wood replaces Jimmy Anderson. He needs a wicket, having taken only one in the series. Given his fitness record, England might think of resting him in the next Test at the Oval before bringing him back for the final Test on what should be a fast pitch at Old Trafford. Wood starts well, beating Elgar twice, but then drifts onto the pad and is clipped for three.

“I’ve not missed her, but despair is back at the bar, making eyes at us,” says Guy Hornsby. “She’s been away, perhaps on an extended holiday in the West Indies. It’s funny really, to have such an exciting Test side with such talent, yet such a fragile batting line-up, and key positions (2&3) not in bedrock. Oh, for Haseeb to have made hay this spring. Thing is, it’s always one appalling session that does us, so all we’re left with is a myriad of ways to get a hiding, all of them only highlighting our selection quandaries. It’s times like this I remember the 90s: what would Mark Ealham do?”

32nd over: South Africa 101-1 (Elgar 56, Amla 31) This is turning into an episode of Grumpy Old Men, starring Stuart Broad and Jimmy Anderson. Hard to blame them, as Nasser says on Sky, because they’ve done almost everything right this morning. They dismissed Amla but didn’t review, and could have got Elgar on a number of occasions.

“Hi Rob,” says Felix Wood. “Yesterday you opined that England’s problem is too many all-rounders. While I agree that seems to be the case at the moment, it needn’t be in the future, even with the same players. I’m sure KP, Steve Smith, Stuart Broad and the like have no problem with deciding to stick to one discipline. Isn’t the problem that short form cricket needs more all round type players, so youngsters spend their time training 50/50? Stokes should pick batting and be good for picking up overs, not be first change. Even Flintoff accepted that being an amazing bowler who would occasionally contribute with the bat was better than someone who could do a little bit of both.”

31st over: South Africa 99-1 (Elgar 55, Amla 30) Amla scorches a poor delivery from Anderson through the covers for four. We’re entering Angry Anderson territory, with Jimmy kicking the ground in disgust.

“Where does this England team fit in the general scheme of things?” asks Phil Withall. “The majority of the time it seems they need two or three players to perform above their expected level to get a result. If the team as a whole perfoms at their expected level they seem to struggle. On a lighter note. I went shopping today and it totaled $22.22, I laughed, Richie probably laughed, no one else got it.”

30th over: South Africa 94-1 (Elgar 55, Amla 25) And another one goes by: Edgar flashes at Broad and edges high to the left of gully, where Anderson drops a very difficult chance. He could only get his fingertip to it. It would have been a blinding catch, even by his standards. Broad and Anderson have bowled beautifully this morning.

Should have used your L'Oreal review Stuart.

29th over: South Africa 94-1 (Elgar 54, Amla 25) That was a bad moment for England’s DRS Squad. They hardly seemed to consider a review, yet replays confirm there was a definite outside edge from Amla. There was a crap, desperate review last night, which means they have only one left; that probably played a part in the decision not to review this time. Also, for some reason, most of the players - including the bowler Broad - seemed to have no idea whether he had nicked it or not.

28th over: South Africa 91-1 (Elgar 52, Amla 25) It’s easy to forget, it being Sunday, that this is only day three of the game. South Africa have all the time in the world to do the shim sham shimmy on England’s throat. The first part of that is to see off this spell from England’s champions.

Amla in particular has been almost strokeless, and has just been involved in a bizarre incident. He edged Broad to Bairstow, who took a good tumbling catch. Broad didn’t appeal, Simon Fry said not out, and England decided not to review. I am sure he edged that.

27th over: South Africa 89-1 (Elgar 51, Amla 24) In this match, Anderson and Broad have combined figures of nine for 184. The other England bowlers have taken <Richie voice> two for 222 between them </Richie voice>. Elgar, meanwhile, thick-edges Anderson for two to reach a determined half-century. And a rapid one by his standards: it’s come from 79 balls.

26th over: South Africa 85-1 (Elgar 47, Amla 24) Broad demonstratively puts two men out for the hook against Amla. It’s a double bluff, for the time being at least; everything is on a good length or fuller and Amla is content to play out a maiden.

25th over: South Africa 85-1 (Elgar 47, Amla 24) England are again trying to get the ball changed, as they did so successfully yesterday morning. No dice this time. Anderson and Broad have been excellent so far, with Anderson again beating Elgar outside off stump in that over, but there’s only so much they can do if the ball isn’t swinging.

24th over: South Africa 84-1 (Elgar 47, Amla 23) Stuart Broad starts to Dean Elgar, bowling full and straight and prompting a couple of awkward defensive strokes. After a few sighters, Elgar drives confidently through mid-off for four. Broad turns him round with the next delivery, finding a thick edge that scuttles past second slip for four more. That was a very good over from Broad, and it went for eight.

23rd over: South Africa 76-1 (Elgar 39, Amla 23) Jimmy Anderson starts the day with an anti-loosener, slipping a fine delivery past Edgar’s outside edge. It’s a challenging first over, a typically immaculate start from Anderson.

This is the sort of precedent England can use for inspiration - when South Africa started day three effectively on 184 for nought in their second innings, and eventually lost a classic. Liam Dawson plays Michael Bevan, Gary Ballance is Mark Waugh.

Weather watch, with Gary Naylor

“It’s as sultry as a 1970s Lamb’s Navy Rum billboard at Trent Bridge this morning, so we could be in for a lunchtime scoreboard that reads 200-7 (Quinton de Kock 97), but even if it reads 125 all out, I think South Africa have enough... if Big Vern is fit enough to bowl his share.”

Pre-play reading

Related: Jimmy Anderson frustrated by England’s batting display against South Africa

Related: England collapse as Faf du Plessis pulls strings for South Africa

Related: Joe Root fights fire with fire but Gary Ballance burns latest England chance | Ali Martin

Related: Captain Heather Knight stars as England women defeat West Indies

Morning folks. Today, England are naughty schoolboys, made to stand in the corner, face to the wall, thinking about what they’ve done. They are likely to endure a day of impotent frustration at Trent Bridge, watching South Africa bat them out of the game while they try to work out how what the hell has happened since Lord’s.

The main reason for this surprisingly one-sided match is that South Africa, led quite brilliantly by Faf du Plessis, have produced an admirable performance full of skill, intelligence, nerve and good old-fashioned manliness. That’s not to say England are blameless. There has been plenty of criticism of their reckless batting yesterday. I’m not sure, on reflection, that their approach was so bad; most of them were dismissed playing defensive strokes. The issue was aptitude, not attitude.

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England v South Africa: second Test, day four – live!

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What a ball this is! WHAT A BALL THIS IS! Full, fast, yorker-length, and straightening at the last second! Root plays inside it, the ball skirts his edge, and nails off stump! Morris celebrates like he means it, and South Africa know they’re nearly home!

16th over: England 55-2 (Cook 35, Root 8) Things have quietened down out in the middle; England daren’t give anything away in this period. Presumably Maharaj will be on soon, and that will be the next test; in the meantime, Root turns away a single and Cook escapes by missing a pull entirely, while Holding complains that there are too many fielders saving runs and too few catchers. Cook rams the point home by edging four, in the air, to close the over.

15th over: England 50-2 (Cook 31, Root 7) Cook has never scored more than 50 at Trent Bridge; you’d back him to beat that now. Morris is on, bowling to two slips and gully - “that looks a bit meagre to me,” says Mikey, far more melodically than I can type. root takes a single off the final ball of the over, playing it down into the off side and haring away.

“I think that bowling replacements are better,” emails Matthew Doherty, replying to Neil Harris. “Rashid and Roland-Jones, with Woakes to return.”

15th over: England 49-2 (Cook 31, Root 6) Philander is done for the now, and Olivier has the ball; he’s full and straight first up, so Root drives three to long-off; Philander has to chase to the fence. Small victories, people, small victories. Meanwhile, back in the middle, Olivier gives Cook one on his pads - you know the rest. Or, to put it another way, the next phase of the innings is upon us, and England daren’t lose another wicket. So they add four more instead, Cook onto the front foot to drive down the ground. He is in, and that’s drinks.

14th over: England 38-2 (Cook 23, Root 3) Third slip is so close as to be wearing a helmet but Root is yet to require his services, presenting the face to run three through mid-off. A good omen: his bat is New Balance - if only, etcetera - which connotes One Bryan Robson, the original Captain Marvel. Sorry, that’s all I’ve got; I take no responsibility for any dislocating shoulder.

“How many changes is too many? asks Neil Harris. “I reckon four are in serious danger of not playing the next test – Jennings, Ballance, Dawson and Wood. Cannot think of a case for keeping any of them.”

14th over: England 34-2 (Cook 23, Root 0) Cook sends a leading edge looping towards mid-off ... and it drops just short. Philander has bowled 6.3 overs, of which 33 deliveries have landed in line with the stumps; he now has the best average of any bowler with 50 or more Test wickets. Cook then waves slightly away from his body, but makes decent enough contact, earning four to third man before tucking a couple off his hip. Huge over for England, six from it.

13th over: England 29-2 (Cook 17, Root 0) Cook nurdles a single to deep-square as in my head’s ear I hear the whooping and hollering that will greet the breaking of this partnership, like when an away team scores in a European football match. Root defends confidently and grins at Morkel; “what are you looking at, butthead,” comes back the reply. Next ball, Root edges, but with soft hands, such that it drops short of second slip; just imagine his bedroom sensitivity.

12th over: England 28-2 (Cook 16, Root 0) “The folly of having three left-handers at the top of the order against Morkel and Philander we can discuss for ever,” says Nasser, before elegising the brilliance of the bowling. As for Bazgaz, in his first 10 Tests he scored 1019 runs at 67.93; since then, in 13 Tests he has 479 runs at 19.16. Ahem.

Well that didn’t take long. Here we go with the partnership which was always going to decide how heavily England will lose. Philander gets so close to the stumps that the ball was going to clatter leg, and off goes BazGaz, probably not back to county cricket quite yet, but nearly.

12th over: England 28-1 (Cook 16, Ballance 4) Vern opens the over with one on leg stump and Cook doesn’t miss out, flicking off his hip for four to fine leg. He then finagles a single, Ballance takes another on the pad ... they appeal ... NOT OUT ... REVIEW! I’ve got to say, this one looked dead to me.

11th over: England 23-1 (Cook 15, Ballance 4) UMPIRE’S CALL! NOT OUT! Clipping the top of leg bail.

11th over: England 23-1 (Cook 15, Ballance 4) Morkel looks like he’s got a coathanger down his top as he lanks in again, squaring up Cook second ball only to see a leading edge fly away for four. Shot! Naturally, Cook moves on, driving beautifully through cover when the fourth delivery arrives into his slot; they run three. Morkel then persuades one to nip back into Ballance, hits the pad ... NOT OUT ... REVIEW! For what it’s worth, it looked high and going down to me.

10th over: England 16-1 (Cook 11, Ballance 4) Cook steers through backward point and staggers into that sprint; they add three. Next ball folds Ballance in half, lengthways; he defends well, then again, leaving, then leaves one perilously close to his off-bail. England have what, five more overs to survive before entering the next phase of the innings? In the meantime, this is menacing bowling and classically wonderful Test cricket. Whatever would we do without it?

“Isn’t a lot of this just ‘how it goes’?” asks paul Smith. “With a bit more good luck on the first morning, South Africa could have been 5 or 6 down. The game is England’s and everyone is saying Faf is moronic for taking on Anderson and Broad at Trent Bridge in those conditions. As it is, they survived and it was a brave decision.”

9th over: England 13-1 (Cook 5, Ballance 4) Cook is circumspect as Morkel flies in from around, before turning a single off his knee. Next delivery is short - he’s been full so far today - and the extra bounce lifts Ballance off his toes. He fingers the ball to the ground, a decent shot in the circumstances, and the physio comes out to deliver a painkiller.

“Watching the cricket at the pub,” boasts Peter Salmon who knows how to start the week, “and just want to make sure you stress that the delivery that Keaton Jennings missed WAS A DEAD STRAIGHT BALL ON THE STUMPS, WHICH DIDN’T KEEP LOW. He missed it. Dear Lord, he just missed it.”

8th over: England 12-1 (Cook 4, Ballance 4) Philander taxes Ballance as Warne argues that Root should be at three; Ballance then dangles half the face at a widish one which moves away, and gets him four. Shot!

“I’m not so disappointed in the wicket,” emails Richard O’Hagan. I’m very disappointed that the references to my favourite childhood books will stop. That’s definitely extremely ozard,”

7th over: England 8-1 (Cook 4, Ballance 0) Cook gets off the mark at the 22nd time of asking, taking two through midwicket and then two more towards the same area. But that was still a good over from Morkel, whose pace is up towards 90mph.

“Of current bowlers with 50 Test wickets,” emails yerman Rob Smyth, “only Dale Steyn (22.30) has a better bowling average than Vern (22.34). And that might not be the case for long.”

6th over: England 4-1 (Cook 0, Ballance 0) That was a great over, straight, quick enough, and consistently taxing.

Great bowling, great captaincy. The field change turned Jennings into Darbishire, who timidly pushed at two in a row. The first just misses third slip, and the second jagged back in to hammer off-stump out of the ground. Gary Ballance will now open the innings.

6th over: England 4-0 (Cook 1, Jennings 3) Jennings presents the full face to Philander’s first delivry and they run two; Du Plessis removes the bat-pad man, Bavuma, and puts him at short cover. Next up, Jennings waves outside off, edges, and the ball just drops shy of Du Plessis at three...

5th over: England 1-0 (Cook 0, Jennings 1) Warne reckons the pitch will also be quicker today, as Morkel pushes his first delivery wide of off and Jennings leaves it alone. Has anyone noticed how he looks like friendly Biff? Any more for any more? Anyhow, relief for Jennings, whose initials aren’t JCT - one can only hope his nickname is John Christopher Timothy - he pulls uppishly for one to get off that pair.

Morne Morkel has the ball; Keaton Jennings has the half-pair.

Everyone is in agreement that these are the best batting conditions of the match. I’m not entirely sure how that tallies with the up-and-down movement and growing rough for Maharaj, but there one goes.

Out comes everyone.

“Test cricket is the best isn’t it - do you think Zimbabwe can pull off a minor miracle and beat Sri Lanka though, Daniel? asks Kevin Wilson - presumably not of Chelsea. “Is the Test at Trent Bridge still going?”

They look like they’re going to, don’t they? What a result that would be. The Lankans are 71-1 chasing 388 to win, with a minimum of 23 overs remaining today and a minimum of 90 tomorrow.

“Overcast conditions and two bowlers, Broad and Anderson, with tremendous records both at that ground and under those conditions. Yeah, I would’ve bowled first,’ chides Richard O’Hagan.

I dunno. Knowing that conditions were going to improve, it seemed to me that all South Africa had to do was tough-out that first session, and that England were basically gambling control of the match on getting four wickets before lunch. That didn’t seem the most likely route to success, in mine; better to rack-up the runs, then rely on scoreboard pressure to replace favourable conditions.

“England selectors are awful,” equivocates Alistair Maiden. “Why don’t they get more stick? They do not appear to be able to ‘spot’ whether a player has the technique, temperament or ability to succeed at Test-level, thus threatening return to the dark ages of the 80s and 90s. The touring side to India was the biggest selectorial cock up in recent memory, with Ansari the worst player to represent England in a test match since the 90s. They have been faffing around with an opening batting slot since Strauss and no.3 since Trott. No frontline spinner to replace Swann. With Anderson’s departure imminent we should be worried. It is clearly evident that Balance is not a Test match number 3. He may be a 5 or 6 but not a 3. I don’t understand the logic in promoting Bairstow, because you can’t really play a specialist batsman at 7 and it means fiddling Dawson* at 8. Jennings, Cook and Balance are too similar which makes them easy to bowl to. There must be a decent right handed top order player somewhere in the land and we should be trying out an Overton or two and a Footitt, before touring Aus where medium pace gets smashed.

*Non-specialist who would not be selected on merit for either bowling or batting.”

Stokes says he struggled for six or seven weeks trying to find out what was stopping him get into rhythm while bowling, and he and Otis Gibson recently realised that his arm was going away from him in his action. This was taking the ball towards leg side, but in attacking Amla with bouncers yesterday, he felt regrooved.

He then talks about doing whatever suits the team best at the time, a point that needs to be drilled home through every skull.

“We just need to bat,” says Ben Stokes. “If we bat for the full two days we’ll probably be close to where we need to be.”

“Ready for England to grind out a slightly less depressing defeat than we really deserve? Good”, rhetoricises Stephen Brown.

“So, I have a theory that to win a Test match, you need to average about 350 each innings. That probably splits 400/300 in 1st/2nd innings. To do this, a simple formula involves your top 5 scoring 250 between them. South Africa have gone very close to that this match and look odds on favourite which I think conclusively proves my theory right.

Nasser reckons the bounce will get lower and slower, and that will be the danger if England can see off the new ball. I wonder if it will bring the stumps into play when Morkel bowls.

OK - so at risk of further lampooning myself... they're now using the heavy roller. Thoughts @Grassjunkie ?

A better point, I’d say, is the one which comes next: England did not bowl well enough on Friday morning. Even so, Joe Root saying he’d have bowled eve if he’d won the toss; really? Really?

Ian Botham reckons England will have days like Saturday, given the way that they play. Er, I don’t recall Steve Waugh’s Australians having too many of them, which is to say that they were aggressive but not reckless. And they were really, really bloody good.

Weather in Nottingham is glorious, which is a small victory for England: it’s a day on which you’d want to bat, not bowl.

We just need to give Faf a bit of his own medicine, tweets Gary Naylor, linking to that phenomenal Adelaide rearguard.

The problem, of course, is that conditions and attack are less friendly - and England’s most likely hero is an opener, so will be facing fresh bowlers and a new ball.

There’s no way, is there? Is there? Is there!

It’s Monday morning, so let’s be real. Sometime soon, probably sometime today, South Africa are going to win by miles and England are going to lose by miles. We know this.

Exce-ept, England have Alastair Cook and Joe Root, both of whom are capable of batting all day today. And Cook looked doughtily focused in seeing away some brilliant bowling last night, while Keaton Jennings, Barry Gallance, Jonny Bairstow, Moeen Ali and the rest are also capable of obstreperous obstruction.

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England v South Africa: Women's World Cup semi-final – live!

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Might be the last you see of 18yo Laura Wolvaart for now, but get used to watching her bat for the next 20 years or so. #WWC17pic.twitter.com/vRltPOmbHJ

35th over: South Africa 135-4 (du Preez 39, van Niekirk 3) The start of England’s squeeze was instigated by Laura Marsh and she takes us to the batting Power Play with another quiet over that South Africa only get two from. She’s bowled six overs for 15 so far. Quality, understated operator.

34th over: South Africa 133-4 (du Preez 38, van Niekirk 2) Knight keeping herself on. Why wouldn’t you? Captain’s perrogative plus the fact she, basically, took twofer in the previous over. It’s not as good, mind, but neither was that first one. Six runs, no wickets.

33rd over: South Africa 127-4 (du Perez 36, van Niekerk 0) I panned Shrubsole at the start of her spell but she’s really dragged it back brilliantly. She might eve claim an assist for those wickets in the previous over, even if the run out bore her name.

32nd over: South Africa 126-4 (du Preez 35, van Niekirk 0) Calamity in the South Africa middle order! What on earth was that?! Kapp gets a full toss first ball and hits it back to Knight, who shells the chance. But no matter, because two balls later du Preez hits straight to cover and runs out Kapp! No need for any of those dismissals and, suddenly, 220 seems that little bit too far away...

Oh Laura! She’s struggled against spin and, in the first over for Heather Knight, she’s tried to cut a straight ball and lost her middle stump!

31st over: South Africa 124-2 (Wolvaardt 66, du Perez 34) Another solid over from Shrubsole, somewhat making up for Sciver’s expensive one before. Also, worth keeping an eye on this.

South Africa 121/2 after 30 overs. Their highest 1st innings total vs England is 222. #WWC17https://t.co/4SwYaJBRW3

30th over: South Africa 121-2 (Wolvaardt 65, du Perez 32) Shows what I know… Nat Sciver back on to replace Hartley, much to the delight of Wolvaardt. She’s still driving, but there’s a bit more agriculture in her approach: front foot out of dodge and the swing of her bat coming through like she’s slashing through wheat. The first beats mid off but the second is a lot straighter.

29th over: South Africa 111-2 (Wolvaardt 55, du Perez 32) Better from Shrubsole, who bowls a fuller, straight length knowing that both batsmen are wary of coming out of their crease with Sarah Taylor standing up to the stumps. The run rate is just starting to fall...

Between overs, allow me to draw your attention to this superb interview from one of the best in the business. With Derbyshire’s 16-year-old off-spinner Hamid Qadri:

Related: Hamid Qadri: the 16-year-old spinning a message of joy from Kandahar to Derby | Donald McRae

28th over: South Africa 109-2 (Wolvaardt 54, du Preez 31) Looks as though England might bowl Hartley all the way through, which might not be the worst idea. She’s going at over four an over, but isn’t really getting tap since her third over which went for 10. She’s got three more left after this one, which leaks just three.

27th over: South Africa 106-2 (Wolvaardt 53, du Perez 29) Shrubsole replaces Jenny Gunn but immediately offers up a bit of width. For the first time in a while, seemingly, du Preez is able to throw all four-foot-four of her into a cut shot that beats Alex Hartley comfortably at third man.

26th over: South Africa 101-2 (Wolvaardt 53, du Perez 24) Hundred up for South Africa. What’s a good score here? I’m saying 250, which is well within reach.

25th over: South Africa 97-2 (Wolvaardt 51, Du Preez 22) Really bad from Shrusbole. Volvaardt plinks one down the ground and really shouldn’t get a boundary, but Shrubsole is leaden-footed at mid on and can’t gather what should be a simply bounce into her hands.

Wolvaardt gets her 50. A bit chancey, but she'll take it. So will South Africa. #WWC17

24th over: South Africa 91-2 (Wolvaardt 46, Du Preez 21) Better from Hartley, certainly more like her former tournament self. Neat changes of pace mean du Preez can’t quite trust herself to plant that front foot and work the ball squarer. Just three from the over.

23rd over: South Africa 88-2 (Wolvaardt 45, du Perez 19) Tidy from Gunn and Fran Wilson at backward point, who saves some runs with two fine stops. The first might have saved three, as Wolvaardt opens the face into a drive.

22nd over: South Africa 85-2 (Wolvaardt 44, du Perez 17) There’s she goes. Wolvaardt, finally, learns to leave the high elbow back in the box when it comes to the long hop. Hartley serves up one that is clubbed high and down the ground for four. It’s a shot that takes the 18-year-old past 300 runs in the tournament.

Great start from England @Vitu_E, slowly suffocating SA with tight bowling & fielding. Sarah Taylor really is an utter genius, isn't she?

21st over: South Africa 79-2 (Wolvaardt 39, du Perez 16) Jenny Gunn on, who started this World Cup indifferently but has rediscovered her nerve, as evidenced by that last over win against Australia. It does mean pace is back on the ball (ash). However, it’s the running that nearly does for Wolvaardt, as she’s well short of her ground at the bowler’s end when she sets off late for a single.

20th over: South Africa 75-2 (Wolvaardt 37, du Prez 14) The most expensive over so far, as Hartley is taken for four through cover and straight midwicket by du Preez. That’s how Wolvaardt should be playing those shorter balls.

19th over: South Africa 65-2 (Wolvaardt 37, du Preez 5) Back underway and captain Heather Knight makes a neat change in the field, bringing deep cover back into the circle for Mignon du Preez and dropping back midwicket and backward square leg.

Drink are being taken, by the way. Meanwhile, Jarrod Kimber is on WolvWatch

#TeenWolv has scored 9 from 29 balls against spin. #WWC17

18th over: South Africa 63-2 (Wolvaardt 35, du Preez 4) Twice, now, Wolvaardt has tries to hit short balls from Alex Hartley down the ground. Twice she’s nearly flayed it back to the bowler. There’s no reason why she can smack that through midwicket, but she seems hell bent on hitting in the V.

17th over: South Africa 60-2 (Wolvardt 34, du Preez 2) Very good from England’s spinners, who have tied down Wolvardt and restricted her to just eight from her last 25 balls. Pace off the ball working a treat to her. No need to drop mid on or mid off back until she fancies leaving her crease.

That @Sarah_Taylor30 stumping at full speed, one more time... https://t.co/ADLgIOpUC5

16th over: South Africa 58-2 (Wolvaardt 33, du Preez 1) Alex Hartley, England’s leading wicket-taker, comes into the attack. She’s mostly operated around the wicket to left-handers and has got the ball to dip and spin away from them. Just one from her over as she ties down Wolvaardt for five. Can she had the opener to her impressive WC hitlist?

Mooney ☝️
Lanning ☝️
Bates ☝️
Devine ☝️
Matthews ☝️

Will @AlexHartley93 get another big wicket for @englandcricket today?#ENGvSA#WWC17pic.twitter.com/IBawbCjlWY

15th over: South Africa 57-2 (Wolvaardt 32, du Preez 1) There’s cover out in the deep on the off side for Wolvaardt so those pelasing drives are getting less value. Du Preez drops one into the leg side to get off the mark.

@Vitu_E As I watched I wondered if @Sarah_Taylor30 had made the error of taking the ball in front of the stumps. But no! Not her. #Legend

14th over: South Africa 54-2 (Wolvaardt 30, du Preez 0) Another drive, another boundary for Wolvaardt. Very much playing a lone hand, here. Lone hand from Wolvaardt. Lone Wolvaardt... yeah, you see where this is going...

13th over: South Africa 49-0 (Wolvaardt 25, du Preez 0) Marsh darts and keeps these two honest. Only one from the over, also thanks to some smart fielding.

@Vitu_E Shout out to Yr6 children+staff @BlackhorsePri enjoying today's @ICC SA v ENG semi-final. Fab leavers' treat...C'mon England! #WWC17

12th over: South Africa 48-2 (Wolvaardt 24, du Preez 0) Just glorious from Taylor. She’s been up to the stumps all of Sciver’s spell and would have lost sight of the ball as Chetty went down a few paces and tried to get something on that leg side wide.

The lefty PC brigade have ruined cricket by making the best keeper in the world a woman. I won't be watching again. #notmykeeper

Oh unreal! Absolutely unreal! Sciver arcs one wide down the leg side and Sarah Taylor uses those RIDICULOUS hands to affect a stumping. She loses the ball on contact but there’s enough of it in her gloves to send Chetty packing.

11th over: South Africa 46-1 (Wolvaardt 23, Chetty 15) Spin right as the Power Play is done. Naturally. It’s Laura Marsh, offies from a medium pacers run (she did bowl medes back in the day). Pace on the ball means Chetty can dab fine (fielder up in the circle) but grand work from Alex Hartley, the most improved fielder at this competition, saves one.

10th over: South Africa 41-1 (Wolvaardt 21, Chetty 12) And there are Chetty’s first runs in front of the wicket... four of them through square leg! Nat Sciver comes on to replace Shrusbole from the Bristol Pavillion End and just over-pitched a touch. She she corrects her line and length, she draws an edge... but with no slip, that’s four more. Power Play done. Tidy from South Africa, for the loss of Lee...

9th over: South Africa 33-1 (Wolvaardt 21, Chetty 4)

Chetty gets her first run not through third man, but it’s still behind square as she lifts a leg in the air and flicks around the corner for one. Later, Teen Wolv thinks she’s pinged a beauty through extra cover but Shrubsole does brilliantly to dive to her left and keep it to one.

8th over: South Africa 30-1 (Wolvaardt 20, Chetty 2) Teen Wolv, doing work. Given a bit of width, she holds her ground and leans into a square drive that takes a wicked skip off the turf to beat Fran Wilson at point. A wristy push down the ground steals one, too.

7th over: South Africa 22-1 (Wolvaardt 14, Chetty 0) Brunt looks like she’s got Chetty’s number. Bowling wicket to wicket, she’s not really giving the right-hander anything to work with.

6th over: South Africa 21-1 (Wolvaardt 13, Chetty 0) The folly of Lee’s dismissal shown, first ball, she played a nice conventional back cut for four. Why not keep doing that? Trisha Chetty, due a score, comes in at three.

“Morning to Raymond Reardon: “Could you tell me why the half of England’s draw has two extra rest days compared to the other semi-final in two days time, when most other tournaments ( Mens Cricket World Cup, Mens and Womens Football World Cups, Mens and Womens Football European Championships) only provide one extra rest day to the host nation from the beginning of tournaments.” It’s a great point, Raymond. The scheduling of this competition has been pretty poor, truth be told.

Shrubsole with the wicket but it’s a gift from Lizelle Lee. On off-stump but treated like a full toss out of the hand of a child, Lee tries to heave it away to square leg and the lights behind her flash orange with doom.

5th over: South Africa 17-0 (Wolvaardt 13, Lee 3) Thick edge past the outside edge and Brunt is fuming! Couldn’t really do anything about that but Wolvaardt has another boundary...

4th over: South Africa 13-0 (Wolvaardt 9, Lee 3) Quality from Shrubsole. Had it on a string. Good start from England...

Lee is given out LBW as she’s hit on the pads. The umpire gives it out straightaway and Shrubsole gives it the big ones, until she turns around and sees Lee calling for a review. “Oh for f...” she says. That’s the funny thing about reviews in the women’s game – they used to get given some duff decisions and bowlers, for the most part, loved it. Swinging quite far down leg, that.

3rd over: South Africa 13-0 (Wolvaardt 9, Lee 3) Wolvaardt drives everything. Like, everything. She could probably drive a tangerine, if she wanted to. A few on off stump, nowhere near conventional driving length, and somehow she threads a couple through backward point.

2nd over: South Africa 10-0 (Wolvaardt 7, Lee 2) Lizelle Lee plays off her legs weird. She doesn’t try and flick – she sweeps. She tried it the previous over as Brunt went wide down the leg side. To Shrubsole, she does the same and ends up sending a leading edge inside fine leg for a couple.

@Vitu_E Teen Wolv vs The Scivertar. Who will survive?

It’s the little, little things - but I’m really quite chuffed with this:

The #TeenWolv@Vitu_E ) starts the first semi final with a four. #WWC17

1st over: South Africa 9-0 (Woolvardt 7, Lee 1) A full toss to start for Katherine Brunt, which Laura Wolvaardt whips that away in front of fine leg for four. One of those deliveries that we (me probably), will over-analyse once the game is done. Nerves? Bottle? Or, you know, just a loosener. The second’s bang on, maybe even straightening a touch to draw a muted appeal.

South Africa’s openers strolling out to the middle. Can bat:

Lizelle Lee has scored half-centuries – 69 (56); 74 (77); 72 (77) - in each of her last 3 ODI innings vs England. #WWC17

Marizanne Kapp crying during the South Africa national anthem might have tipped the floating voters. #WWC17

A word to the Bristol DJ before we get going. Chaka Khan and a few other classics before Despacito (don’t smirk – cricket’s so far behind with these kind of things. People are still dabbing.)

Me: I'm tired of despacito it's so overplayed

Also me: pic.twitter.com/ynLtKHzKBk

First email of the day and it’s a hello to Stephen Cooper:“Good morning Vish, must say that I’m really looking forward to today (and tomorrow, and the final of course). We had some great games in the group stage and I’m hoping that the weather is kind to us rather than letting DLS decide the outcome.” It’s set fair for the rest of the day. Sunshine with bits of cloud.
“My one regret thus far is that the Graun didn’t liveblog a few more of the group games.” We would have loved to but Test matches, Wimbledon and the rhythm of life meant we had to stick to England and Australia matches. That you wanted more is only a good thing.

England bat, Natmeg and all that – but left-arm spinner Alex Hartley (Surrey Stars and Lancashire) has been in belting form for England. Check this hitlist:

Mooney ☝️
Lanning ☝️
Bates ☝️
Devine ☝️
Matthews ☝️

Will @AlexHartley93 get another big wicket for @englandcricket today?#ENGvSA#WWC17pic.twitter.com/IBawbCjlWY

Will give you those teams, too. The headlines: England unchanged (if it ain’t broke etc) and South Africa welcome back Chloe Tryon, who smoked a 26-ball 54 here when these two faced-off in the group stages.

England: L Winfield, T Beaumont, S Taylor, H Knight, N Sciver, F Wilson, K Brunt, J Gunn, A Shrubsole, L Marsh, A Hartley

England to chase. Hello...

It's time for the 1st semi-final toss! @OfficialCSA have won it and decided to bat first against @englandcricket! #ENGvSA#WWC17pic.twitter.com/CCYvF6JnFK

Well here we are then. The Women’s World Cup semi-final. It feels like it has taken a while to get to this point. Or maybe that’s just me: Derby-Taunton-Leicester-Bristol takes it out of you. Just ask the England players, who have had to hit every ground, more than once, across 22-days. Winning the group and staying in Bristol for a longer period of time has been a godsend. And I can’t really complain – I’ve had a grand old time watching women’s cricket develop up close over the last few years. More trained eyes than mine will tell you it’s in a good state right now. Which brings us to today’s encounter.

England under head coach Mark Robinson and South Africa in the shadows have cultivated big-hitting games of their own (these two have produced 40 of the 97 sixes hit this World Cup). Naturally, it’ll be with the ball that this game is won. No idea how the pitch will play – does anyone, really? Seriously? How much tosh is spoken about pitches? – but it is the one used for England-Australia, which kept everyone in the game. England were genuinely practicing full-tosses yesterday as South Africa’s leggies Dane van Niekirk (captain) and Sune Luus have perfect the art of taking wickets with them. The game moves on, but clubby ways still prevail.

Vish will be here shortly. In the meantime, read his scene-setter for today’s semi-final: on tag lines, handling pressure and Teen Wolv:

Related: Women’s Cricket World Cup 2017: Knight’s England to go boldly into semi

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India beat Australia by 36 runs to win Women's World Cup semi-final – as it happened

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What a day. What a performance. What a contest that will take place this Sunday. Harmanpreet Kaur played one of the great innings: destructive, breathtaking, and full of class. She also had one of the most epic meltdowns when she thought her partner had been run out, which was less elegant, though I enjoyed the passion therein.

171 from 115 balls, though she also finishes with an injury. Was limping between the wickets, and didn’t field. I think the injury cae when she hit the ball into her own foot. Whatever the case, she pointedly avoids the questions from Alison Mitchell about whether she’ll be fit for the final.

It’s all over! Deepti Sharma on, who Blackwell climbed into a few overs ago. This time she spears it towards leg, Blackwell was already charging and trying to pull, and got in a tangle against the faster ball that bobbled through onto her stumps. A magnificent hand from Blackwell comes to an end, smashed in desperation, and it lost out to an even more magnificent one from Harmanpreet Kaur.

40th over: Australia 244-9 (Blackwell 90, Beams 11)

Poonam Yadav bowling, and good enough. Dot ball, driven straight to cover. Blackwell goes big down the ground, but Mona Meshram the sub fielder stops it on the bounce. Beams cuts a single, then the other sub Mansi Joshi can’t stop Blackwell’s punished full toss to midwicket. Harmanpreet and Pandey are both off the ground with minor injuries. Harmanpreet would have been bowling if not. Blackwell can’t get a run from the fifth ball, straight to cover, then farms the strike from the last. 36 needed from 12 balls.

39th over: Australia 238-9 (Blackwell 83, Beams 10)

Here’s a turn-up. Krishnamurthy bowling for the first time in this World Cup. With four overs to go in a semifinal. Raj going for the confusion technique? Blackwell could have garnered a wide first ball, but she gets bat on one down leg, and only gets two from it. Blackwell slams a single to deep midwicket next ball, then Beams cuts two. Flicks one more. Two balls to come. Theoretically they’re leggies. Realistically they’re loosies. Down the wicket Blackwell, pounds through midwicket for four. Single from the last ball. The over costs 11, the equation is 44 off 19.

38th over: Australia 227-9 (Blackwell 76, Beams 7)

Goswami back to try to finish things off. Instead, Blackwell slams a straight drive for four! Gorgeous strike, full power. Slams a similar shot straight to mid off. Then gets a full toss, pulls it for four more! That was so nearly a no-ball for height as well. Would have been an extra run, extra ball and a free hit. Luck with India on that one. Australia need 55 off 24. Another really big over and this could get interesting. Hell, it’s already interesting. And is there a ton on for Blackwell?

37th over: Australia 218-9 (Blackwell 67, Beams 7)

Six! Massive six! Blackwell thunders one into the media centre, and we can feel the bang as it collides with a wall. Gayakward pitches another ball full, and it goes the same way. Not as long this time, but still clears the rope. It’s now 64 needed off 30. Nahhhhh. Right? Nahhhh...

36th over: Australia 203-9 (Blackwell 53, Beams 6)

Boshed. Blackwell down on one knee and sweeps Poonam Yadav’s leg-break for another four. Her 24th ODI fifty, to go with three centuries. Another fine hand from the Australian veteran. Wants two to cover but only gets one. Beams sticks fat, even gets a couple more runs. But the equation is 79 needed from 36 balls. Not quite gonna make it... are they... ?

35th over: Australia 189-9 (Blackwell 48, Beams 3)

Blackwell nearly holes out to long off, but it lands just short. A single. Beams nails a cut shot, but straight to point. Harmanpreet is off the field, limping but beaming. Blackwell says, “Not done yet, mate.” Smacks four down the ground from Deepti Sharma, that clears Krishnamurthy on the bounce at long on. Then she goes again, bigger, over the rope at wide long on for six! Probably her last World Cup innings, so it’s nice that Alex Blackwell is having fun.

34th over: Australia 181-9 (Blackwell 37, Beams 2)

Blackwell’s flying, and might as well score while she can. Beautiful cover drive with Gayakward’s turn, gets four. Then a sweep that’s saved on the rope with a dive, and three more. Last of the over, Beams is back and cutting between the two fielders behind point, and gets off the mark with a couple.

33rd over: Australia 174-9 (Blackwell 30, Beams 0)

Blackwell finishes the over with a late cut for four. A bit of edge, very fine. But she’s batting with the No11 Beams, so that’s the only thing about this situation for Blackwell that’s fine.

Australia gallop towards oblivion. Not much Schutt can do other than swing, she comes down the wicket to an off-break and goes leg side. Goswami is at deep midwicket, and is a safe pair of hands.

32nd over: Australia 168-8 (Blackwell 24, Schutt 2)

Thanks Adam. Gayakwad to continue with the left-arm finger-spinning variety. Schutt gets off strike first ball, slapping one to leg. Then Blackwell does what she does, working two right into the midwicket gap. Genius at finding those spots in the field. When Gayakward errs down leg, Blackwell punishes her. Too many loose balls not taken for full value by Australian players today. This one pulled for four.

31st over: Australia 160-8 (Blackwell 17, Schutt 1)

Well what can you say? Blackwell keeps on keeping on, another straight drive follows the wicket. I admire that. Four added. But they probably two boundaries an over from here to be any chance. Which, I can assure you, they are not. With that prognosis, back to Geoff Lemon to drive this OBO - and Australia’s campaign - to the end.

Feeling sorry for Australia is weird. A less stubborn batting card and they probably still get this after Ellyse and Elyse. #WWC17

Oh my, when it isn’t going your way. Blackwell thrashes a straight drive with all the trimmings, but it is too straight. Fingers in the follow through, Jonassen backing up, back onto the stumps - you know how this one ends. Dreadful way to go, but no third umpire required here.

30th over: Australia 154-7 (Blackwell 12, Jonassen 1)

A couple of singles to end the over but the rare required is up to 11 an over and Australia will be lucky to bat out their overs, let alone seriously challenge that. Capitulation, nothing short of it.

The leggie has got some turn, forced the mistake, and the captain takes the catch at cover! India are going to the World Cup Final! Australia have lost three wickets in three overs and this is done. Blimey. What a performance from the Indians.

29th over: Australia 150-6 (Blackwell 10, Gardner 1)

You’ll have to take my word for it that not much happened in the remainder of this set, because...

Never a great time for the wifi to die when a wicket is taken, but I can report belatedly that Healy has also holed out, trying to clear the circle down the ground but only going as far as mid-on. Ugly way to end an unconvincing stay from the ‘keeper-bat. Australia in more trouble than the early settlers.

28th over: Australia 147-5 (Blackwell 8, Healy 5)

Deepti to Blackwell, who gets off strike first ball. And that’s a sixth dot for Healy. The run ends there, she finds a single to cover. Away, belatedly. Blackwell immediately turns it back over. Encouragingly, Healy gets on her bike to the last ball, to the pitch and over extra cover for a pressure-release boundary. But the required rate climbs all the same, 9.64 needed now for the World Champs to stay in the comp.

27th over: Australia 140-5 (Blackwell 6, Healy 0)

Well, Healy isn’t a bad option. She’s looked good in limited opportunities. And she has a pop. But goodness me, how is it possible that Ash Gardner is coming in at eight when they need nine an over to win? Healy can’t get off strike though, absorbing four dots to begin. Make that five. Wicket maiden.

There it is! Pandey back and Perry opts to glide at the first time of asking, but it is an edge rather than the face, straight into the gloves of Verma. And with that, Perry’s run of five half-centuries on the spin is done. And maybe Australia’s hopes of a seventh World Cup as well. It’ll take an epic comeback from here with both set players falling in the space of three overs.

26th over: Australia 140-4 (Perry 38, Blackwell 6)

Deepti to Perry initially, but the pattern continues: five singles. Sweepers hit with a minimum of fuss, along the carpet throughout. Oh, I better hit send, because...

25th over: Australia 135-4 (Perry 35, Blackwell 4)

Poonam poses no issues for Blackwell, playing herself in with runs in front then behind the wicket. Perry takes singles to the long-on sweeper twice as well. Good start to the mini-consolidation period. For those playing along, 8.73 now the required rate. Gardner next on that basis alone, surely. (Probably not though).

24th over: Australia 130-4 (Perry 32, Blackwell 2)

Neglected to mention it is Adam again here for the next little while, returning just as that wicket fell. I’m great like that. Ask Mitch Marsh. Blackwell is the new batsman. Perfect time for her to come in an accumulate with Perry. The vice-captain runs, innovates and has eight global tournaments behind her. She knows precisely what is needed from here, both the maths and the tempo. Four singles follow the wicket to highlight the point; they won’t mess around.

Perry's on 34* and has 400 runs this World Cup now. She's the leading run scorer for the tournament. #WWC17
Blackwell 3*

Oh no! Villani, from nowhere, holes out! 105-stand with Perry, where they really were cruising, is over. Just like that, Gayakwad has done it. Tried to go over the top again, a shot that has been very effective for her, but miscues into Mandhana’s hands on the circle. The 96-ball stand had Australia, oddly, back in control. But they were only ever a wicket away from stife again.

23rd over: Australia 124-3 (Perry 30, Villani 75)

There is that hundred partnership, with five singles from Poonam Yadav. Milking the bowling much better. That with boundaries mixed in can do it. I’ll hand it back to Adam to see how it goes the next few overs.

22nd over: Australia 121-3 (Perry 28, Villani 72)

Perry finally goes. Short ball from Gayakwad, pulled for four. Singles from the voer as well. Partnership nearing 100.

21st over: Australia 114-3 (Perry 23, Villani 70)

There goes Villani. Down low against Poonam Yadav and reverse-sweeps four. Powerful. “Hard to add power into that shot,” says Ebony Rainford-Brent on TMS. Did that time. Singles too, eight from the over. That’s what they need.

20th over: Australia 106-3 (Perry 22, Villani 63)

Gayakwad drags it back the other way. Perry is the one struggling a bit today. Four dot balls she faces, against the left-armer, before getting a single away. Villani tries to compensate with a loft down the ground, but gets a leading edge towards long off. Mandhana could perhaps have made it or the catch had she moved more decisively, but she hangs back a bit and in the and can only stop it on the bounce, diving, and conceding two. Or saving two. Glass half full?

19th over: Australia 101-3 (Perry 21, Villani 61)

Thanks Adam. And thanks to Elyse Villani, who is playing a gem here. No one has been more critical of her struggles in green and gold, but she’s coming good so far today. First of all, Deepti bowls outside off and Villani slashes it through third man for four. No one behind the wicket really on the off side. Then a better shot, gets all of a ball on the sweep shot, and thumps it between the boundary riders for another one. That takes her to 60, her highest score in ODI cricket. Beating the 59 she made against Pakistan earlier this tournament. The Aussie hundred up too.

18th over: Australia 92-3 (Perry 19, Villani 52)

Well. Boom, BOOM. Villani likes what she sees from Poonam to begin, dancing and swinging cleanly over mid-off for her eighth boundary. The ninth comes next ball, pulled hard between the sweepers with timing that suggests that if anyone is going to do something special from here, it is her. No pressure. And her third boundary of the over caps it, bringing a half-century! A carbon copy of the first, dancing and driving high and strong, once bounce over the rope at long-off. Her tenth boundary. And only 41 balls to get to 50. Well. Do we have another rapid ton on the cards here? 14 from it.

17th over: Australia 78-3 (Perry 18, Villani 39)

Gayakwad on. Villani likes this, punishing a drive to the cover rope. She’s been heavily maligned in this tournament. And that’s a good thing - women’s cricket needs proper scrutiny and she had a nightmare against England. But that doesn’t mean she can’t seriously play. Feast or famine usually her go, needs to be the former today. Looks well set.

16th over: Australia 72-3 (Perry 17, Villani 34)

Run a ball 50 stand comes up. Has included seven boundaries. Can’t ask much more than that after the brilliant start India had in defence of their 281. Poonam on with her leggies from the City End this over, three comfortable singles taken to the sweepers before a nice bit of fielding on the ring at mid-on ensures that Villani can’t add a fourth. That’s the standard. Back to back tidy overs.

Australia well ahead on #atthisstage, yet people still treat it like it's a thing.

15th over: Australia 69-3 (Perry 15, Villani 33)

Gayakwad was yanked after her first over, but is back from the Racecourse End. Love a ground with a Racecourse End, me. Pins Perry back for the most of this over. And that’s cool for Aussie fans. This is what Perry does rather well. Under no circumstances does she hurry early on. Old-fashioned, plays herself in, then pushes up the gears. She collects three runs including a single down the ground to retain the strike.

Good take, Deepti Sharma! #AUSvIND#WWC17pic.twitter.com/On0GtJrWsJ

14th over: Australia 66-3 (Perry 12, Villani 33)

Singles to both before Villani - Junior as they call her in the sheds - again times well, sweeping to the rope. She’s won a player of the match gong alongside a couple of golden globes in this comp. What she’d give for a significant contribution today. They break for a glass of cordial. The required rate is 7.71.

13th over: Australia 60-3 (Perry 11, Villani 28)

Deepti is back and she’s battling this time around. The young gun has 14 taken from the set. It includes one that slips past Verma’s gloves for five wides. Thanks very much. Villani, growing in confidence, goes dancing and makes strong contact over cover. A single behind square keeps her the strike again. Perry doing a lot of watching but that’ll suit. Massive job ahead of her from now until the bitter end, you’d think, if Australia are any chance of finding a way through this. Ash Gardner is going to be big as well. Expect to see her elevated.

It's the innings everyone is talking about - here's the best bits of @ImHarmanpreet's stunning 171*! #WWC17

WATCH: https://t.co/hvP4UDdkFHpic.twitter.com/wSUT8bcGSV

12th over: Australia 46-3 (Perry 10, Villani 20)

Shika has been outstanding from the get go. On the money to begin again here, but Villani has enough time to open the face when she misses wide, gliding past point. Her best shot so far. There’s a crowd catch (won’t deny it, I was convinced) that goes down to the penultimate delivery. Villani keeps the strike, scoring again behind point. Boundaries in each of the seven overs. But they still need the better part of eight an over from here.

Take a bow @ImHarmanpreet , best innings I've ever seen!! #WWC17

11th over: Australia 41-3 (Perry 10, Villani 15)

Goodness me, what have I stepped into here? Australia have one foot on QF2. Another wicket here - namely Perry’s - and it’ll be both. And there will be serious questions to answer. Gayakwad on for her first trundle today after a five-for last start against New Zealand. Left-arm orthos. Villani takes one through midwicket, Perry likewise. Villani dropped! Pandey should have taken that at mid-off. False stroke. Tougher on the replay than in real time, but still. Villani had a nightmare with the ball earlier, one over going for 19. Not really her fault - no way she should be bowling in a World Cup semi-final during the Power Play. But it was that kind of innings by Harmanpreet. A lot more on selection later, I suspect.

10th over: Australia 34-3 (Perry 9, Villani 9)

Similar deal. Dot balls, dot balls, then Villani gets a slash past point for a boundary. Single from the last, five from the over. Still too small for this team. I’ll hand you over to the gentleman below for the next few overs.

A stunned Charlotte Edwards just said to us then, on the Australians: “I’ve never seen them so rattled.” #WWC17#AUSvIND

9th over: Australia 29-3 (Perry 9, Villani 4)

Hmmmm. Perry clips another boundary from Goswami through midwicket, but is otherwise scoreless off the over. Drives to the field, blocks to the bowler. They really need to make use of every delivery here. “Every dot ball they’ll be feeling it,” says former England captain Charlotte Edwards.

8th over: Australia 25-3 (Perry 5, Villani 4)

Elyse Villani next. Had a miserable tournament mostly, two golden ducks, a shocker against England as well, and some harsh assignments with the ball. Needs to stay positive, and she does second ball, skipping down to lift an off-break down the ground. Boundary. Need about 50 more of those.

Australia in disarray! Deepti Sharma to bowl, having recovered from the rasping dressing-down she was given by Harmanpreet while they were batting. She cheers up immediately, sending down a flighted delivery, which deceives Bolton in the air, and her attempted flick takes a leading edge back to the bowler. Tumbling catch, thought Deepti had shelled it for a moment, but she’s held on. Load up the Good Griefification machine again.

7th over: Australia 21-2 (Bolton 14, Perry 5)

Goswami continues, the batsmen trade singles. Then Gos gets a bit short, and Bolton cracks a pull shot for four. That’s her area: cut, pull, and that’s about it a lot of the time. Drives off the outside edge to third man.

6th over: Australia 14-2 (Bolton 8, Perry 4)

Ellyse Perry has had the relative luxury of being the backbone for Australia during this World Cup, making half-centuries at a relatively sedate pace. She can’t so much do that today, they’ll need a more dynamic showing. She starts with a boundary clipped through midwicket, but is tied down by Pandey thereafter.

5th over: Australia 9-2 (Bolton 7, Perry 0)

With apologies to Richie Benaud’s rule against hyperbole, a disastrous over for Australia. A disastrous start. They needed to be 40-0 after five. They... are not that.

Bowwwwwwwlazo! Bowlazo! The best player in the world is gone for a duck! It’s Bradman at The Oval for a new era. Lanning remains on 2999 runs for two games running, unable to find that 3000th run in close to the toughest match situation of her career. Goswami has pace, she has accuracy, and a tentative push forward from the injured Lanning is not enough to stop that ball from bursting through onto the stumps. Goswami roars like a lion. India have played like them.

4th over: Australia 8-1 (Bolton 6, Lanning 0)

Bolton is really struggling against Pandey. Falls over, pokes about, can’t connect, can’t beat the field. Finally a single from the fifth ball of the over. Pandey right on the spot. Lanning can’t score.

3rd over: Australia 7-1 (Bolton 5, Lanning 0)

Pressure. Australia needs a fast start, and Goswami only gives them a single. Beats the outside edge of Lanning with a snorter. Time to give this one another run.

2nd over: Australia 6-1 (Bolton 4, Lanning 0)

Lanning in at the crease already. The best player in the world, but hampered by that heavily strapped shoulder. Can she do it?

Huge! The immediate setback for Australia. Shikha Pandey strikes, outswing delivery, Mooney plays the wrong line and off stump goes out of the ground.

1st over: Australia 4-0 (Bolton 3, Mooney 1)

How will Australia approach this? Bolton and Mooney opening. Thought perhaps a pinch-hitter might have come up the order, but they’re trying to stay calm. Huge appeal, not given. But Bolton would have been out if Goswami had decided to go upstairs. Hitting the top of middle as Bolton was surprised by pace and tried to jam the bat down. Quiet over, they need a big start Australia. But a big slice of fortune there.

Wow. Wowwitty wozzitty wow. Wowselators. Good griefification. I don’t even remember English words any more. That was such a thrilling performance, adrenaline is filling my brain capsules. Adrenaline, nice name for a girl. She might grow up to bat No4.

The ground DJ greeted that innings with The Greatest, by Sia. Fair call. I’ve had the privilege of being there for Atapattu’s 178* against the Australians a couple of weeks ago, then this knock today. Can’t get a burnt match in between them: one a solo hand played with no support, the other done when the stakes could not have been higher. Well, they could be. In the final in Sunday. Which is where India will be going unless Australia can produce something (in the gravelly growl of Bruce Macavaney) speeeecialllll.

That’s it from me. I need a lie down. Geoff Lemon will be here soon.

42nd over: India 281-4 (Kaur 171, Krishnamurthy 16) Bit of finesse in case you forgot Kaur could do that. Carves one behind point neatly. Clouts a few down the ground, too, but is a bit crook and needs to jog those ones. Veda takes over though, slapping over point to finish things. FYI – when Kaur reached 50, her next 121 runs came off 51 balls (14 fours, six sixes in that). 81 runs from the last six overs! Charlotte Edwards – high queen of cricket – has just walked in, stunned. “I’ve not seen them [Australia] rattled like that!”

41st over: India 268-4 (Kaur 165, Krishnamurthy 9)

Two sixes in a row. Just don’t bowl there. Or anywhere. Take a break. Go for a walk. Sing the songs that you want to sing. Just don’t bowl to Harmanpreet Kaur. Two sixes, both picked up from outside off, both gunned over square leg and over the Indian squad sat a few feet from the adverstising boards. Slappage of the highest order.

40th over: India 249-4 (Kaur 151, Krishnamurthy 5)

An email from the mighty Rob Smyth: “Kaur was 41 from 61, so as I type she’s score 104 from the last 44!” FREAK. Power Play ends with an over without a boundary. WAH?

39th over: India 243-4 (Kaur 149, Krishnamurthy 1) Oh my days. She’s still going. Elyse Villani into the attack – yeah, me neither – starts with a wide and Sharma runs a by to get Kaur on strike. Then a wide short ball is swept to square leg for six! It means she has 101 from the last 41 balls she’s faced in this partnership! Unreal. A four through cover and a dab to leg gets Sharma on strike and then out. Ends with Sharma slapping one through midwicket – full bunger, by the way – for four. That’s 50 off three overs. Kaur’s also more than doubled her tournament tally with this innings.

Ah well, Villani was always going to get one after we bagged her for coming in on the Power Play. Tonked by Kaur but gets Sharma. That’s 137 for fourth wicket off 87 balls. Kaur has 106 of them.

38th over: India 224-3 (Kaur 134, Sharma 25) A 14th bowling change of the innings as Megan Schutt takes the second over of Power Play, from the Racecourse End. Sharma rushes to get off strike and is nearly run out at the bowler’s end. She just, just makes it in. Then it’s back to the Verbal Harman Monster. The Score Enhancer. Sick of phoney bowlers trying to control the Kaur. Two fours, one through extra cover, the other over it. Two overs of Power Play and that’s 31 off it.

37th over: India 215-3 (Kaur 126, Sharma 28) Right, Power Play taken. Just the four overs because this is a 42-over affair. The crowd bellow “WE WANT SIXER” – an IPL staple – and Kaur obliges. The first just makes it onto the sponge. The second clears it – both at square leg – to bring up the century partnership off 72 balls. Kaur has 77 of them! Gardner decides to bowl two wide of off-stump. So Kaur goes through extra cover. No matter. Finishes with two and that’s 23 off the over.

100 partnership off 72 balls, Harmanpreet just belts two sixes in a row. 3-205 here and India looking at a mammoth score #WWC17

36th over: India 102-3 (Kaur 104, Sharma 23)

After 11 scoring shots, Schutt manages to get away two dots in a row to Harmanpreet Kaur. Doesn’t get a third though, as Kaur threads a drive through extra cover. Different gravy.

A modern delay, this. Can’t replace it with a normal stump because it would break the circuit. So they need the flash new one, which they’ve had to call in from a safe somewhere.

In the meantime, the DJ is playing a few shots:

35th over: India 185-3 (Kaur 100, Sharma 20) What a way to get there! Ridiculous. First a shuffle and slap through midwicket for four. Then, last ball – her 90th – she scampers two. But Sharma’s not playing ball. But they’ve thrown to the wrong end! But Healy, smartly, has a glove off and throws down the stumps where Sharma’s desperately trying to get back. It’s thrown to the TV umpire and Harmanpreet chucks her gloves and bad down and sprays her partner. And then, confirmation... 100! What a damn fine knock that is. The last 50 came up off 26 balls.

This, from @ImHarmanpreet, might just be the greatest ODI innings played by an Indian woman, especially given the context. #INDvsAUS#WWC17

India's @ImHarmanpreet has just hit the 100th six of #WWC17! #AUSvINDpic.twitter.com/O4ymUaojL1

34th over: India 175-3 (Kaur 92, Sharma 18)

Unreal from Kaur. What a RIDICULOUS talent. Skips down and pongos Jonassen, around the wicket, high over long on for six. Then, advancing again, she readjusts to wrist one behind square, beating fine leg in the circle and deep square leg. Magic darts.

33rd over: India 160-3 (Kaur 78, Sharma 17) Gorgeous from Kaur. Beams has no real place on the ball yet somehow Kaur square drives her through cover point for four. She’s playing for Surrey Stars in the Kia Super League, by the way. Go see her if you’ve got any sense.

32nd over: India 152-3 (Kaur 72, Sharma 15) Now Double J is taken downtown by Harmanpreet Kaur, who finds a gap between midwicket and wide longon (fielders in both positions, fyi. Class shot). Has she got another? Yes she has. Good work on the third man fence isn’t good enough. Awful shot from Kaur – hacked edge squirting awa. But they all count. That last 52 has come up in 45 balls, by the way.

Harmanpreet Kaur looking supercool after her ordinary middle patch. Australia still has a lot of overs of spin from Jonassen and Beams left.

Well done to all involved for this, by the way

MCC has announced that 37 former women cricketers have accepted the Club’s offer of Honorary Life Membership. https://t.co/WKAOcDFesJ

31st over: India 142-3 (Kaur 63, Sharma 14)

Interesting turn of events... now the seamers are getting some tap. Well, singular: Perry. A few wides to Kaur - the left-right combination putting the bowlers off enough – then sees Perry dig one short which the right-hander larrups around the corner for four.

30th over: India 132-3 (Kaur 57, Sharma 12) Garnder picks up after drinks and his swept around the corner for her troubles. Straying a bit onto the pads but it’s still an excellent shot from Sharma, who moves to double figures.

29th over: India 126-3 (Kaur 56, Sharma 7) Spin is getting knocked about so Perry comes into the attack for her first bowl from the City End. Still, these two are hustling well to pinch six off the over with a well run two at the end.

28th over: India 120-3 (Kaur 54, Sharma 3) Just getting a bit ragged out there for Australia. India starting to put a bit back on them. Deepti Sharma, 19, precocious, gun – won’t wait around. Five skittish singles off the over.



The India fans loved @ImHarmanpreet's half-century! #AUSvIND#WWC17pic.twitter.com/K0sGyYjqV8

27th over: India 115-3 (Kaur 51, Sharma 1) What a couple of deliveries. Beams bowls the worst ball known to humankind – out of her hand and over the head of first slip. No ball called and the free hit is slapped high and gorgeous over midwicket. Then, a square four takes Kaur to fifty off 64 balls. Safe to say the move to number four has worked:

Harmanpreet's scores at #5-6 at #WWC17
10, 20, 0

at #4
24*, 23, 60, 51*

26th over: India 102-3 (Kaur 40, Sharma 0) Ashleigh Gardner runs through an over for just one as Kaur profits off a misfield at point.

25th over: India 101-3 (Kaur 39) The 100 is up but it’s not convincing and, perhaps, should have led to Raj’s demise. She pierced the hands of midwicket for the two that took them to three figures. No matter, Beamsly does it.

Mithali is out. Decoupled rather than unschackled.

Beams gets her woman! Googly? Perhaps. Certainly seemed to give Mithali Raj the impression she could cut just before it pitched. Instead, she gives it room to hit middle and off, which it does.

24th over: India 96-2 (Raj 33, Kaur 37) Gardner replaces Jonassen, though that might be for a cheeky change of ends as I reckon they’ll give Schutt a blow and bring back JJ, perhaps. Three taken.

Most 50+ partnerships for India
13 Raj & Chopra (57 innings)
12 Raj & Harmanpreet (37)
11 KV Jain & J Sharma (25)#WWC17

23rd over: India 93-2 (Raj 32, Kaur 36) Real good from Kaur, who picks up her third boundary in as many overs with a ramp over her and the keeper off the returning Megan Schutt. Looks in the mood today, does Harmanpreet. Good afternoon to Peter Salmon: “Great to see that Raj has not only read the Hussain book, but absorbed it. Out for about 30 off 83 balls?” In that territory now, Peter. That being said, a single takes her ahead of Beaumont.

22nd over: India 85-2 (Raj 31, Kaur 30) Fifty partnership up in this over off 75 balls between these two. Raj also draws level with Tammy Beaumont as the tournament’s leading run-getter.

21st over: India 77-2 (Raj 29, Kaur 24) Suns out and, finally, the boundaries are too. We had to wait 45 balls for this four, smoked through midwicket with a slog sweep by Raj.

20th over: India 70-2 (Raj 28, Kaur 19) Jess Jonassen replaces Perry. Don’t mind this. Mix up the bowlers. Don’t ket the batsmen think they’ve got someone’s number. Only irritating thing is the constant changes in the field. Lanning doesn’t really seem to know what she wants. Might be worth getting a slip in for the sake of it?

19th over: India 65-2 (Raj 25, Kaur 17) Good from Beams. Tentative from Kaur and Raj. It’s almost like they don’t trust the pitch which is actually playing pretty well. Might also be Beams’ gurn as she bowls. Could be quite off-putting.

18th over: India 63-2 (Raj 24, Kaur 16) Four singles to Perry is a better way to go about things. Both batsmen pick up two, as Perry serves up a few cutters to keep them guessing.

17th over: India 59-2 (Raj 22, Kaur 14) Beams equally as frugal. Just two from the over as both bats can’t decide how they want to play her. Probably could try and get her around the corner a bit more.

16th over: India 57-2 (Raj 21, Kaur 13) Perry back into the attack from the Racecourse End, hitting the bat hard. Kaur hitting the ball equally as forceful. Both times straight back at the bowler, both times stopped. Neat battle unfolding...

15th over: India 55-2 (Raj 20, Kaur 12) Over before the drinks break we’re treated to a bit of Kristen Beams. Three from the over, even with a full toss thrown in there. Dangerous delivery from leggies this World Cup.

14th over: India 52-2 (Raj 18, Kaur 11) Tidy from Gardner. Yet to concede a boundary and two overs worth of dots in her first three overs.

13th over: India 49-2 (Raj 16, Kaur 10) That’s the Harmanpreet Kaur we’ve heard about. Clean hitter, down the ground we heard – clean hits through cover and straight we see. Quality.

12th over: India 41-2 (Raj 16, Kaur 2) Gardner carrying on, three on the off side, hefty whack on leg. Single apiece. They do this, India. Strokemakers for days but do shut-up shop for no real reason. This isn’t a bad start.

11th over: India 39-2 (Raj 19, Kaur 1) Megan Schutt back on from the City End, ball still shaping but she’s got a bit more control on it. Kaur dots out after being given the strike by Raj.

IND 36/2 after 10. Not great but recovered from similar pos v NZ.#WWC17

59/0 vENG
42/2 vWI
40/1 vSA
37/1 vSL
31/2 vNZ
25/1 vAUS
17/1 vPAK

10th over: India 36-2 (Raj 13, Kaur 0) A few in this box thought Garnder should have bowled ahead of Jonassen (knowledgeabe sorts here today). That’s a very tidy opening from her, not to mention the wicket with the second ball. Raj pinches the strike off the final ball.

Clearly a mental thing with Smriti Mandhana."What if I get out, playing this shot?".A seed of doubt an attacking player cannot have.#WWC17

I mean, it’s a cracking shot. Ashleigh Gardner’s right arm offie is met with a skip and a thwack over the top of midwicket. The trouble is, there’s a fielder out there. Literally right there. A simple catch and Raut’s gone.

9th over: India 35-1 (Raut 14, Raj 12) Jonassen bowls a few darts, so Raj just treats her like a medium pacer. Uses her feet, down to the pitch, over the top of the bowler, for four runs. That’s the first Power Play done. Solid one from India, albeit for the loss of a gun. 39 dots in those 54 balls, by the way. Three wides, too.

8th over: India 30-1 (Raut 13, Raj 8) The floodlights are on as it’s got a bit dark here:

Floodlights on at Derby - it's still overcast here. #WWC17pic.twitter.com/X2OYGkeEhV

7th over: India 23-1 (Raut 11, Raj 3) Schutt shot out of the attack and Jess JonassIN. The left-arm spinner as nine victims this World Cup and she fancies getting to double figures in this over as Alex Blackwell – elder stateswoman – puts on the helmet and comes into short cover. “Oldest Australian close-catcher since Chris Rogers?” askes more knowing voice.

6th over: India 21-1 (Raut 10, Raj 3) Very good from Perry, who has rediscovered her bowling touch at the perfect time. Wonder if she fancies the slope at Lord’s on Sunday? Pav End, skip. Meanwhile, this is excellent (context: Raj reckons she’d have a few more runs at a quicker lick if she had more proactive teammates around her):

Mithali Raj batting before today - from about 38 seconds in https://t.co/MENomVPmYi@ajarrodkimber@collinsadam@Vitu_E@FiBollen

5th over: India 21-1 (Raut 10, Raj 3) Schutt strays – short and angling down the leg side – and Raut helps her around the corner for four. Over-correction on the next delivery gives a wide on the off-side. When she’s able to bring her line in a bit, Raut sees out the over with a dab inside third man for four. “Wishing MITHALI Raj and the entire team unprecedented success today,” writes Kiran Mavani from Ahmedabad. Thanks for reading in, Kiran. Wouldn’t mind nothing but Raj drives for the next two hours.

Pumped up after that first wicket! #WWC17#AUSvINDpic.twitter.com/OwHUNWYUaa

4th over: India 12-1 (Raut 2, Raj 3) A fine bumper from Perry is followed bythe first runs in 12 balls as Mithali Raj drives through backward point for a couple. Could have been a couple more had the fileder at third man not whisked her way around and put in the dive. So does Raut, too, when she tips and runs to Meg Lanning at mid off. Lanning’s shoulder means she’s been underarming for the last two years (ish) and this under-arm is comically high over the stumps.

3rd over: India 8-1 (Raut 1, Raj) Really harsh wide against Megan Schutt, who serves up an away swinger to complement her regular innies. Seen a few of those this World Cup, notably in the South Africa-England semi-final against Marizanne Kapp. Well inside the lines, was Kappie. Would have meant five needed from the final over instead of the three England were asked. Still would have won with Shrubsole’s ping through the covers for four, mind.

2nd over: India 7-1 (Raut 1, Raj 0) Very tidy start from Perry, who a press box colleague informs me is opening the bowling for only the second time this World Cup. Good pace, better carry and just one run from the over as Raut nabs a single via an inside edge to midwicket. Mithali Raj, champion superstar, defends out.

1st over: India 6-1 (Raut 0) Megan Schutt with the new ball, Smriti Mandhana to face, with more covers in place than a post hotel bed. And it’s one of those four that ends up taking the catch. An uppish drive started us off, through extra cover for four. Then a stop at point was botched allowed two runs. Relative incompetence all round, to be fair.

Oh Smriti, that’s not pretty. In fact, it’s pretty rancid. Schutt’s swinging the ball away from the left-hander but that doesn’t really matter here: Mandhana’s trying to play this over midwicket and then gets caught in two minds and skews it high to cover. Junk shot, big wicket.

Players on the way out. Adam Collins Tweet bunged in here simply for the use of “flogging”.

FYI: 42 overs breaks down into nine overs of Power Play up top and then a four-over batting Power Play to come.

India unchanged after flogging New Zealand in their final group game. Ekta misses out on a recall. #WWC17pic.twitter.com/Kr35ZqH6Z1

It’s 42-a-side (overs, not players – this isn’t a madhouse) and we get underway at 1345. Australia are unchanged from their match against India back in the group stages, which means Meg Lanning plays. Shoulder still attached. Let’s take a moment of reflection for the undroppable Elyse Villani.

Australia: B Mooney, N Bolton, M Lanning, E Perry, E Villani, A Blackwell, A Healy, A Gardner, J Jonassen, M Schutt, K Beams

Bit of sun out, too. Absolute hashtagscenes.

So the sun is out and the the overs are off. The soppers are doing the business, so much so...

Great news here, the groundsman says the sopper is no longer picking up much moisture. Expect we might get underway before 3pm #WWC17

Still no room for Mark Stoneman. How?!

England name 13 for Oval

Cook,Jennings, Westley, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Malan, Ali, Dawson, Broad, Roland-Jones, Wood, Anderson

Thoughts? pic.twitter.com/RiTN7a21Le

This is getting a workout as the rain returns:

'Is a Super-Sopper', surely? Which I maintain should be suped up to a Zamboni level of cool. #chromepic.twitter.com/2QpEwGD5ih

Yeah, really. I mean, it makes sene - this ground takes time to dry and there is a lot of surface water to remove. Plus, we can toss 15-minutes before play actually gets underway.

To reiterate, we can get a 20-over game in at 16:38 the latest.

In lieu of any cricket, allow me to be a bit self-indulgent.

Now, one of the very few downsides of this job is the Saturdays. Or lack of. It means my club cricket career has died on its backside. Just as I was learning to love. Anyway, it now means I live vicariously through my club’s Facebook page and WhatsApp group. I also find myself falling down YouTube wormholes of club cricketers netting and the odd side-on camera of some 70mph chancer gunning for a Northants gig. Then I came across Isfield Cricket Club. I want to say it’s their 3rd XI based on the chat. Basically, their keeper straps on a GoPro and puts the best bits online. Do as I do and get sucked in:

For those of you that aren’t familiar with Raf Nicholson’s work, I’d suggest following her on Twitter, especially if you want to brush up on all things women’s cricket. We call her the Oracle. She’s also an accomplished basoonist.

As well as writing for a range of outlets, she runs CRICKETher, a one-stop shop for her output. In this piece, she quantifies just how big a deal a sold-out Lord’s is for the Women’s World Cup final.

Strong tweet, this. Make it happen, weather...

Can't wait for Mithali to go full Nasser at Lord's. pic.twitter.com/HIXCfRLIoA

Unchartered areas: Nasser has good bant.

Not much in that book about how to win a World Cup semi I'm afraid !! Let's hope she doesn't read the bit on what to do at the toss either . https://t.co/3amZfKS99t

“This match will do well to rival Tuesday’s thriller,” writes Stephen Cooper. You’re telling me. I think I’ve just about recovered. I made the cardinal sin of welping when Jenny Gunn hit a shot through midwicket. Can’t be cheering in a press box. I need to undergo some form of penance. Maybe I’ll stay in Derby for another couple of nights (I jest, it’s been good to me on this trip). “I’m looking to India to raise their game today to match the occasion, and hopefully beat the Aussies…”

We’ve got a bit of an update by the way. Stick with me:

Strong book choice for India's Mithali Raj - don't you agree @nassercricket? Watch #AUSvIND in #WWC17 semi-final on SS Cricket (404) pic.twitter.com/f898x6Mq4p

Good morning from a very soggy Derby. There’s good news and bad news.

The good news is that we won’t necessarily need this reserve day tomorrow. The bad news is that not only is it still raining, no one has a clue what the exactly’s going on. We’ve been informed of three different sets of regulations, each slightly more nuanced than the last. It’s been a bit odd. The ground itself is very soggy. There are puddles, mushy bits and some mud pools that look like they’d do wonders for your skin.

Grim at Derby 90 minutes from the schedule start. But the forecast gets better as the day goes on. For what that is worth. #WWC17#AUSvINDpic.twitter.com/vSCf4rP7Qc

Vish will be here shortly. In the meantime you can read Adam Collins’s preview of the second semi-final …

Related: Women’s World Cup 2017: Meg Lanning back to lead Australia in India semi-final

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England v South Africa: third Test, day one – as it happened

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Alastair Cook’s admirable 82 not out dragged England to 171 for four after another examination from Vernon Philander on a rain-affected day

Related: Alastair Cook props up wobbly England amid South Africa’s pace barrage

Related: Watching Alastair Cook at the crease has reassuring quality of Englishness | Barney Ronay

Related: Kagiso Rabada’s heat-seeking missile demolishes Dawid Malan’s big day | Ali Martin

The umpires have given up the ghost and announced the close of an excellent if truncated day’s play, in which the admirable, oldfangled virtues of Alastair Cook and Vernon Philander stood out. Cook’s respectful unbeaten 82 means England have emerged relatively unscathed from what could have been a very messy day, and sets the match up beautifully. Thanks for your company. This thing of ours resumes at 11am tomorrow. See you then.

“I think we do well in England for top-order batters who are experienced and skilled against the moving ball, and that in the unfairly maligned county game they face skilled new-ball bowlers,” says Tim Sanders. “But Test cricket will, as it always has done, require the players who have that fraction of a second extra to see, decide and either play or leave the ball. My hypothesis is that the shift of the county championship season to earlier in April, and later in September, has given us a greater contrast than before in the type and pace of pitch. It can’t be easy facing Jimmy Anderson, Kyle Abbott, Ryan Sidebottom and the rest early in April, but maybe there’s a little more time to watch the ball and an edge is less likely to carry. The margins are terribly fine, and opening bats seem to be found out at Test level by how early in their innings they get their feet working properly, and how much they push at the ball rather than let it come to them. Adam Lyth a case in point – if I had a cover drive as good as his, I’d nick off quite often.”

“A nice email from Nath Jones re Tom Maynard,” says Drew Goldie. “His dad Matt was an exceptional player, but like quite a few real talents back then was thrown in against the rampant West Indies and at the Oval on his debut (1988) went for 3 and 10. So some kind of serendipitous pleasure for Maynard senior.”

And then he had to wait five years for his second Test. Some of the England selections in the 1980s in particular beggar belief. For example, look at this scorecard and consider the contributions of Graeme Fowler (201 in the first innings) and Neil Foster (11 wickets) to a famous series victory in India. Both played one more Test before being dropped at the start of the following summer.

The weather has improved, and the umpires are having a chat with the groundsman. We might get some play after all.

It’s lashing down at the Oval, and I suspect that will be it for the day. In theory play can resume as late as 7pm. It does not, however, look likely.

The Sopranos XI

David Hopkins: “I’d like Furio Giunta in to toughen up the middle order. The look in his eye as he prepared to sort our Artie Bucco’s bad debtor was Steve Waugh-esque.”

“My favourite Oval memory is a county T20 game - Surrey v Glamorgan in 2010,” says Nath Jones. “As a Welshman in exile in south London I was excited to watch Matthew Maynard’s son Tom live for the first time. Having spent most of the Surrey innings boring my friends with many stories of watching Matt (my favourite player) while I was growing up, I was delighted to watch Tom’s outstanding, man-of-the-match winning 78* off 43 balls, a memory which sadly became a lot more poignant a couple of years later.”

“I was at The Oval in 1948, 14 years old, when I saw Don Bradman’s last innings,” says Norman Putnam. “Bowled by Eric Hollies second ball. There was a standing ovation for him when he left the pavilion,and we had barely sat down when we all stood again for his return. It says something about the game of cricket that the spectators could show such respect and admiration for an opponent.”

Amen to that. Am I right in thinking that nobody knew/cared about his average at the time, that the shock was purely in seeing him bowled for a duck in his final Test?

More emails

“How about Hesh as an umpire, but one of those non-neutral umpires from the 80s,” says Robert Razzell. “You know you’d got your man plumb LB, but a little smile and a shake of the head from Hesh and you know he’s in the batsman’s pocket.”

Bad light, rain, whatever. That might be it for the day. England will be much the happier to get off the field. Cook and Stokes were very good in that mini-session.

59th over: England 171-4 (Cook 82, Stokes 21) Cook works Morkel for two to bring up a determined fifty partnership. His innings has been immaculately judged, as has Stokes’s with a couple of exceptions. You can tell he is aching to respect Test cricket, but just every now and then instinct kicks in. In other news, I think it’s about to rain again.

“I’d love to see Silvio Dante as vice-captain,” says Sean Clayton, “both for his stand-in team talks and also to see what a batting helmet would do to his barnet/syrup...”

58th over: England 168-4 (Cook 80, Stokes 20) Stokes is beaten by another laughably extravagant leg-cutter from Philander. He leans on his bat, smiling, knowing that sometimes you eat the bear, and sometime the bear eats you. He plays and missed at the next delivery, too. It’s majestic bowling from Philander, and the last ball of the over is about to wobble onto the pad when Stokes gets a vital inside-edge to the leg side. He would have been plumb LBW without it.

“A little out of date,” says Tom Bowtell, “but some gnarly analysis of gaps between FC/Test averages here. Who did SS Sugwekar insult to never get a Test call-up with an average of 65?”

57th over: England 167-4 (Cook 80, Stokes 19) The proper, patient Test batsman inside Ben Stokes is currently having a blazing row with the batsman that slaughtered a 163-ball double hundred off South Africa 18 months ago. There are no such conversations going on in Alastair Cook’s subconscious. He waits for a short ball on the hip from Morkel and tucks it fine for four. Morkel is trying a bit too hard to make something happen and serves up a wide half-volley that Cook squeezes for four more. This has been a masterclass in how to bat on day one in favourable bowling conditions.

“I’ve been thinking again about who else to include in the Sopranos XI and of course one name stands out,” says Kevin Ryan. “Tony Soprano himself and obviously as the captain. I’d be tempted to include Ralphie Cifaretto as well purely because the rest of the side would see how Tony deals with transgressors. I couldn’t see Tony having any problems with players waving bats outside the off stump, sloppy misfielding in the covers or bowling woeful full tosses and long hops after them seeing how Ralfie ended up....Anyone here got a bowling bag?”

56th over: England 158-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 18) Stokes flashes seriously hard at Philander, edging high over the slips for four. It was a loose stroke but played with such force as to reduce the risk. Philander corrects him with a storming legcutter that beats Stokes all ends up.

“Damp and Dangerous, I think I saw them at the Dublin Castle in 1998,” sniffs Guy Hornsby. “£2 in, with a Student Card. Always “thought their best record was ‘Is It Cowardly To Pray For Rain?’ Supported admirably by Uphill And Into The Wind. They were the band the Bluetones could’ve been.”

55th over: England 152-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 13) Morkel isn’t quite as accurate or probing as Philander, at least not yet. Cook is playing only when necessary, an obvious approach in these circumstances but one that is beyond many. Nothing of note happens until Cook is beaten by a monstrous final delivery that snaps viciously off the seam. This has been an admirable innings from Cook - not just on its own terms, but because of what may well have happened to England had he gone cheaply. South Africa would possibly be batting now.

“There is young talent out there; Dan Lawrence, Joe Clarke, Liam Livingstone, Al Davies and obviously Haseeb Hameed,” says Tom Bright. “Is it too early for some of these guys? Or should England have gone with potential rather than looking for a ‘solid county pro’ as a stopgap?!”

54th over: England 152-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 13) Philander resumes at the other end. These are almost bespoke conditions for him, with everything needed for the ball to nibble around. Stokes inside-edges a hard-handed push into the leg side for a couple, prompting Philander to throw his hands to his head. He’s batting outside his crease to Vern, trying to get as far forward as possible in defence to negate any movement, but it isn’t doing much good at the moment. Later in the over Philander slips one between bat and pad as Stokes tries to defend. This is a master craftsman at work.

If Ben Stoked persists this tactic @VDP_24 will get him

53rd over: England 150-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 11) This is a big session. South Africa know they can do some significant, maybe even series-winning damage. The lights are on, so there might be some additional movement. If ever there was a time for England to respect Test cricket and dig in, it’s now. Stokes does the exact opposite, launching into a pull off Morkel that he bottom-edges on the bounce to de Kock. In his defence, the shot was on; it’s the drive that carries the most risk.

“Enjoying the chat about batsmen with averages who should be picked for England,” says Mike Duggan. “But why has Toby Roland-Jones, who is averaging 35 this season, been picked ahead of the Overton brothers (25-26) or Ben Coad (18.7)?”

Play is about to resume. We can go until 7.30pm, with 31 overs to be bowled. Harumph. I was planning to watch the James Bond marathon on TNTthe darts.

“Greetings Rob,” says Roger Martin. “I reckon Livia Soprano. Paranoid, manipulative and possessing an encyclopaedic memory of every slight she ever suffered: she’d be a great fast bowler. On the weather, I reckon Root is regretting batting first. The weather looks set fair for the next four days. England all out for 200, South Africa 500 for 3 by Saturday.”

What is this, 2012? But yes, it was a decent toss to lose, as it often is at the Oval actually.

Damp and dangerous“Any explanation as to the excessive delay from umpire inspection at 4:45 to restarting play at 5:30?” says Phil Williams. “I’m at the Oval and we’ve missed out on 30 mins of glorious sunshine, while there’s clearly a large body of ominous clouds moving in. I’m at a loss as to why the players weren’t back on by 5:10 at the absolute latest.”

I haven’t heard anything. I assume the run-ups/outfield were damp and dangerous. (Coincidentally, Damp and Dangerous was the name of my student band.)

“Surely,” says Patrick McGinley, “the refutation of the averages argument is contained in the words ‘Graeme Hick’?”

Oh, Patrick. You’ve done it now.

Play will resume at 530, with 31 overs to be bowled. I’m going to take a break, enjoy a bit of the old me time, and will be back for the resumption.

“Hi Rob,” says Derek Fordham. ““When I was a student in Southampton in the 1980s I was baffled by the fact that Trevor Jesty wasn’t getting in the England team at the time despite being the top English player in both the batting and bowling averages at the time,” says Derek Fordham. “My housemate, who is now a Daily Star “journalist”, managed to get an interview with him and asked him about this. He said that he “didn’t have enough middle initials to get picked for England”.”

Haha. On that note, I was convinced England would win the Ashes in 1994-95 if they put Kevin Curran, future father of Tom and Sam, at No6.

More emails

Mark Brecht“’If there was a top-order batsmen with a high average they’d have picked him by now, surely?’ said David Hopkins. I guess the exception to that rule is James Hildreth, who at 32 years of age has amassed 40 first-class centuries whilst averaging a shade under 44, without much of a sniff at all from the selectors. The one that got away…?

It looks brighter at the Oval, though there’s still no suggestion of a resumption.

“Enjoyed your little quote re The Bing,” says Kevin Ryan. “ Got me thinking: could we draft any of the Sopranos characters into the current England side. My money would be on Paulie Walnuts - a survivor when all around were dropping like flies. What do you/your followers think?”

My followers! My people! Anyway, yes, Pussy Bonpinsiero would be a lusty middle-order hitter, and Richie Aprile’s would be very strong on the drive, especially against Beansy.

Play was due to resume six minutes ago. It hasn’t, but the groundstaff are earning their keep and the covers will hopefully come off soon.

Some more emails while we wait for the rain to stop

“You asked for Oval memories,” says Laurence Milner. “In 1976 my family moved from Johannesburg to London. Prior to that my cricket watching was restricted to domestic Curry Cup in isolation South Africa. A few weeks after we arrived, my brother and I went to watch the West Indies play England at the Oval – my first ever test cricket experience. We got to see Viv Richards make a double century that day – I remember Greenwich got out early in the day bringing Richards to the crease. The rest is history….. You cannot top that as a first Test-watching experience.”

Here’s Tom Bowtell. “Next to the batsman-averaging-over-40 column in Playfair, they had a bowling-average-under-30-with-more-than-100-wickets column and I remember being astonished/delighted that Mike Gatting somehow snuck onto it. (Peter Bowler - 45 FC hundreds and average of 40.5 was my Andy Moles.)”

Oh my goodness, think I’ve just had a Proustian rush and a statgasm at the same time. Never again will the satisfactions of everyday life be enough.

May I have your attention please

“My so called ‘friends’ have let me down tomorrow, so I now have three spare tickets for the Lock Laker stand tomorrow (Friday),” says Simon Thomas. “If any OBO reader wants them, and cares to make a suitable donation to Dan Lucas’ fund, then they can have them for nowt (as opposed to the £85 face value). I’m still going so they may have to sit next to me but I promise to stand my round.”

Teatime chit-chat (aka why are there so many emails today?)

“An appropriate German expression for cricket is Salamitaktik,” says Mike Swan, “a way of achieving large goals through many small steps.”

52nd over: England 148-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 10) Rabada bowls the last over before tea - and it might be a long tea break, because the clouds are approaching with malevolent intent. Stokes, who has respected the Bing Test cricket thus far, pulls carefully for a couple. And that’s it. As the players leave the field, the rain begins. See you in a bit for the evening session.

“Before his first call up, wasn’t Trescothick’s first class average pretty unspectacular, similar to Vaughan?” asks David Wall. Yeah, Fletcher was keen to get him in from the moment he marmalised Jacques Kallis on a dodgy pitch against Glamorgan in 1999. There are other players who were rightly picked because of weight of runs, like Adam Voges or Jonny Bairstow when he was recalled in 2015.

51st over: England 146-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 8) It’s a bowling day, which means it’s also an Alastair Cook day. He lives for challenges like this, when you have the change to make tough, worthy runs and then savour the feeling of virtuous tiredness. He moves into the seventies with a fine push-drive through mid-on for four off Morris. If he does get a 31st Test ton today - if, if, if - it’ll one of his better ones.

50th over: England 140-4 (Cook 67, Stokes 7) We’ll have two or three more overs before tea. It would thus be a very, very, very, very, very bad time to lose a wicket. Stokes takes a dodgy third to deep midwicket and is only just home when the stumps are broken. It went upstairs, and for a second it seemed the bat might have bounced up when he dived in the crease. He was okay.

“The player that this Bayliss bravado has affected the most is Joe Root,” says Sachin Paul. “Nowadays, when he has to knuckle down (like after that over against Morkel), he can’t seem to get his concentration on. Just flashes at stuff too much. You could argue the ball that got him was a peach but with the amount of throwing around of his bat that he was doing, he’d have been out soon regardless. I hope he calms down and starts playing like Pujara or Amla.”

49th over: England 136-4 (Cook 66, Stokes 4) “Michael Vaughan was a great captain, but ‘only’ a good Test batsman,” says Mark Gillespie. “ His overall Test average is 41, and he’s rated as though he’s better than that because of one miraculous year, 2002, and the assumption that he never reached those heights again because of the weight of the captaincy. The evidence actually suggests that single year (but what a year!) was the aberration.

“The assumption that you can and should look beyond first class averages for Test players is correct, but only if you’ve actively identified something e.g. in character, that makes you think they can make the step up. It doesn’t follow that averages are meaningless and you can ignore them in the absence of other reasons to pick someone.”

48th over: England 135-4 (Cook 66, Stokes 3) Cook push-drives Rabada confidently through extra cover for three. That allows Rabada to bowl to his BEF Stokes, who plays a couple of nice drives for one. There has been a lovely intensity to today’s cricket, the sort you only get when you have a serious bowling attack.

“What a strange mistress Test cricket is, Rob,” says Guy Hornsby, his hand moving inexorably towards his chin. “Cook, swathed in talk of a career exit in the winter, now one of only two sure things we have in this series alongside his captain. It’s staggering to think the amount of players that have come along the conveyor belt in the last two years – Vince, Hameed, Jennings, Balance, Malan, Westley, Robson and Lyth – some of whom we’ll never see again, and some I desperately hope we do for the next decade, whatever their average. But there he is, quietly accumulating, cutting and pushing off his pads, from dawn til dusk, like a cricket Olmec head. You imagine he’ll still be there in a few years from now, his average in the 40s. As a batsman, we’re lucky to have had him.”

47th over: England 127-4 (Cook 62, Stokes 1) Morris replaces Philander. The five-man attack allows him to take on the nasty-piece-of-work role, which he did brilliantly at Trent Bridge. He bounced Cook out in that game and is clearly intent on doing the same again. Cook takes on the short ball, first pulling on the bounce to square leg and then pulling to long leg for a single.

“All England need,” says Andrew Benton, “are eleven Moeen Alis.”

46th over: England 125-4 (Cook 59, Stokes 0) Rabada hasn’t bowled that well on this tour, but that delivery was a reminder of how devastating he can be. He will, all things being equal, break every South African bowling record in the book. All England can do at the moment is hang in there and wait for anything resembling a bad ball. Cook does just that, rifling the last delivery square on the off side for four. He is starting to settle into his new role, and when he does he is going to score millions of runs.

“Agree that they all did, but only by a run or two,” says Tony Rowlinson of our peedie discussion about averages and selection. “They all also had above 40 averages in first-class cricket and debuted before the age of 27, something not shared by Westley or Malan. If they improve by the same amount they will average at 40 and 39 which is good but not what you are after in your top six.”

45th over: England 121-4 (Cook 55, Stokes 0) This is one of the better five-man attacks to have toured England, with a lot of variety and no real respite for the batsmen. Philander starts to toy with the new batsman Stokes, who defends confidently. Philander’s figures are 9-5-8-2, the kind Curtly Ambrose used to make.

“Agree that they all did, but only by a run or two,” says Tony Rowlinson of our peedie discussion about averages and selection. “They all also had above 40 averages in first-class cricket and debuted before the age of 27, something not shared by Westley or Malan. If they improve by the same amount they will average at 40 and 39 which is good but not what you are after in your top six.”

Read this, now. We know where you live.

Related: Clare Connor says cricket must seize initiative after World Cup success

44th over: England 120-4 (Cook 54, Stokes 0) Ben Stokes is the new batsman, so Jonny Bairstow has been pushed down to No7. That’s interesting.

“As someone whose wider knowledge of cricket came from the Playfair Cricket Annuals of the 1990s, I shared your outrage at how Moles, A. J. was continuously overlooked,” says Kieran Booluck. “For the same reason, and despite never having seen him face a single ball, I became convinced Vinod Kambli was the greatest batsman in the world.”

This is as good as it gets. Malan is knocked over in more ways than one by a glorious inswinging yorker by Rabada. He ended up on all fours, with the stumps splayed left and right. That was absolutely devastating.

43rd over: England 118-3 (Cook 53, Malan 0) A few technical problems here; apologies. The last over from Philander was an excellent and eventful one: he beat Cook twice outside off stump, but Cook managed to force a cut for four to bring up a Cookish half-century from 129 balls.

42nd over: England 114-3 (Cook 49, Malan 0) Rabada replaces Maharaj and curves his first ball back into Malan, prompting another unsuccessful shout for LBW. Height was again the problem. These are fraught moments for England and especially Malan, who is still on nought after 14 deliveries and has Rabada hooping the ball back into him. The last ball of the over swings right over the top of the off stump. It was, in fairness to Malan, a good leave on length.

“I noticed that there’s a Test match on at the moment between Sri Lanka and India, as well as England and South Africa,” says David Mills. “Have three test matches ever been in progress at the same time? I guess there have never been four!”

41st over: England 114-3 (Cook 49, Malan 0) As we pointed out in the previous Test, Vernon Philander’s bowling average (now 21.97) is the lowest of any current bowler. He is a brilliant bowler, a forensic interrogator of improper techniques in the mould of Glenn McGrath.

This is only his seventh over of the day, because of stomach trouble - and now he has a huge shout for LBW against Alastair Cook. Joel Wilson thinks for a long time and then says no. Faf du Plessis indicates that he thinks it was going over; Hawkeye confirms that it was. du Plessis is very good with DRS - not just in his judgement, especially of height, but also his calmness.

40th over: England 114-3 (Cook 49, Malan 0) Play resumes under sunny skies. Tea will be at 4.10pm. Malan tries to charge Maharaj and almost runs past the ball. It hit him on the pad, prompting an almost affronted LBW appeal from Maharaj. It was close but he was a long way down and, more importantly, outside the line.

“Localised showers at the Oval today...” says Garrett. Photo of myself, my sister and my dad says it all...”

I can’t upload the pic - it’s a long story - but Garrett and his sister (and everyone around them) look like they are having a day at the beach, while their dad is shivering under a drenched plastic mac.

Play will restart at 3.15pm.

“Hard to argue with Stephen Russell (39th over),” says Tony Rowlinson, “but it’s never stopped me before. Agree that he added five runs on his average, but he’s the exception that proves the rule. There are very few guys in the last 15 years at least who have significantly improved on their first class average and when you’re looking for 3 new batsmen, it’s surely better to play the probabilities than hope to hit 1 in a million?”

I’m not sure he is the exception: Gower, Smith, Trescothick, Root and many others have higher averages in Tests than in first-class cricket. The expert eye will always be more valuable than data.

This is an excellent spot

Dawid Malan is the oldest specialist batsman to debut for England since Steve James in 1998, and before him Alan Wells in 1995

“I don’t believe England’s problem lies with a lack of batting talent, more so a deliberate focus on the shorter formats of the game,” says Oliver Mcpheely. “We don’t have enough guys that are willing and able to occupy the crease for prolonged periods of time. It makes you wonder: what hope do we have in Australia for the Ashes later this year?”

None. You’re welcome! If England lose the first Test, and most of Australia’s fast bowlers stay fit, there’s a good chance it’ll be 5-0. I do think England will be fine in the medium-term, once Haseeb Hameed and Mason Crane are established and they move away from deluxe bits-and-pieces players. And they are still good enough to win this series.

Ach, another interruption. It doesn’t seem too bad, so it’ll hopefully just be a 20-minute break in play.

39th over: England 113-3 (Cook 48, Malan 0) Dawid Malan is the new batsman. He is left-handed; he is facing Vernon Philander. Good luck! He survives his first four deliveries, playing at as little as possible. Philander has majestic figures of 6-4-3-2.

Here’s Stephen Russell. “A two-word answer for Tony Rowlinson (34th over): Michael Vaughan.”

Joe Root falls to a sensational piece of cricket from South Africa. Philander turned him round with a stunning delivery that moved away to take the outside edge, and then de Kock - whose weight was going the wrong way before the late movement - flew spectacularly to his right to take a brilliant one-handed catch. There was nothing whatsoever Root could do about that.

38th over: England 112-2 (Cook 47, Root 27) Maharaj rushes through an over in about the time it takes me to assume the OBO position, with Root flicking a couple off his legs.

“Root’s relatively dainty demeanour means his strike rate sometimes slips under the radar - he now has 300 runs in the series at strike rate of 80,” says Tom Bowtell. “Puts him right up there in the England all-time list.”

Thanks Tim, hello there. The closeness of England/South Africa series is slightly overstated, due in part to dead rubber and/or dead dodgy victories, but this really is too tight to call. We are more than halfway through the series and six results are still credible, from 3-1 England all the way round to 3-1 South Africa.

This, indeed, might be the decisive period of the series, with England’s two specialist batsmen trying to repel some fine bowling from Vernon Philander, the innocuous bogeyman of world cricket, and Keshav Maharaj.

Time for me to hand over to Rob Smyth. Thanks for your company, your emails, and your genial erudition – special subjects, German nouns and harmonic scalpels.

36th over: England 109-2 (Cook 47, Root 27) Cook breaks the spell with a flick to fine leg for two off Maharaj. And that’s drinks, with South Africa’s noses back in front and England on the defensive – but with their two senior players still there. Cook is playing an ex-captain’s innings.

35th over: England 107-2 (Cook 45, Root 27) Morkel keeps Root honest with yet another maiden. After that breezy start, Root is now much more wary – his innings a microcosm of his time as captain.

34th over: England 107-2 (Cook 45, Root 27) Maharaj is asking questions too now – he has a shout for LBW against Cook, and beats him as he tries to cut.

Meanwhile Tony Rowlinson is scratching his head. “I’m confused why Westley and Malan have been brought in when their county records are pretty mediocre (37.44 and 38.09). Cook, Root and Bairstow, our 3 best batsmen, all have close to 50 average in county cricket, so why are we going for guys who are averaging sub 40 and are in their late 20s? Is there a problem with Rory Burns or a complete lack of options? I unfortunately don’t follow county cricket very closely so am vexed, vexed I say.”

33rd over: England 107-2 (Cook 45, Root 27) A fabulous maiden from Morkel, who has Root playing and missing, then flirting and missing, then playing and missing again. It’s telling how little anyone has talked about the injured Dale Steyn, one of the all-time great fast bowlers. This attack has more than one leader.

32nd over: England 107-2 (Cook 45, Root 27) Tidy from Maharaj, restricting Root to one quick single. Root is so much better at looking for those than the rest of England’s top order.

Back to German, with Richard Mansell. “Alberne, seitliche Kurz-Bein-Position isn’t in the Kama Sutra but can be found in chess endgames, especially if the Tromposky or Nimzowitch Larsen Attacks are deployed.”

31st over: England 106-2 (Cook 45, Root 26) Morkel produces a beauty which lifts and leaves the bat. It beats Cook and de Kock too, and goes for four byes. Morkel then lures Cook forward and finds the edge of a bat that is so visibly crooked, it may well want to run for president.

30th over: England 101-2 (Cook 45, Root 25) Faf du Plessis turns back to spin, after that one half-hearted over this morning. Maharaj gets Root to go back when he should be forward, but the bat locates the ball at the last second. Next ball, Root is right forward. And Philander is back on the field.

29th over: England 99-2 (Cook 44, Root 24) Morris bowls a peach of an outswinger to Root, who is lucky to miss with a grandiose drive. But Root finds his touch again with a cover steer for two and a whip-pull for four.

“Afternoon everybody,” says Richard Williams (not the Guardian columnist). “I would appreciate a full breakdown of cricketing terms in German as I’m starting to get fed up trying to explain this fantastic game to my colleagues here in Berlin. It was hard enough trying to convince them the whole game lasts for 5 days and can still end in a draw. Though thankfully with England’s batting that topic hasn’t really cropped up many times. Yours, an appreciative OBO’er who lives in a country that doesn’t effing broadcast cricket.”

28th over: England 93-2 (Cook 44, Root 18) Morkel continues and Cook nudges him for two. How du Plessis would love to have Philander on now. And how the Guardian auto-correct would love to call him du Pleases.

An email from Pete Salmon. “Denis Compton scored 173 in one session?!!! How is that possible? Obviously I’ve been going down the Dhawan rabbit hole, and that’s where I ended up. I think he must have been a very good batsman, this Compton.” Ha.

27th over: England 91-2 (Cook 42, Root 18) Morris keeps on swinging, but Cook’s eye is well in and he glances for four. When he takes a single, Root pushes through mid-off for two. The South Africans are pitching it up now, to draw the edge, but Morris goes too leg-stump-ish and Root picks him off for three more. His 18 has come off only 17 balls. Cook gets a bouncer and pulls, watchfully, for a single, making 12 off the over, but it was a better contest than that makes it sound.

26th over: England 79-2 (Cook 36, Root 13) A maiden from Morkel, “but not a threatening one”, as Mike Atherton observes.

An email from Charlie Rossiter. “My knowledge of German is limited,” he begins. “but I do know that a set square is ein winkel. I insist that some rendition of silly winkel must be in the correct translation.”

25th over: England 79-2 (Cook 36, Root 13) Root steers Morris for four through gully, Atherton-style, then edges for four more, less convincingly, but also Atherton-style in that the hands were soft and the edge was low. And then he plays and misses.

Sky flash up a sobering graphic showing how much each Test team has defended against seam in the last couple of years. Everyone is between 30 and 37 per cent – except England, who are bottom of the table, on 28. That stat is no damned lie.

24th over: England 69-2 (Cook 35, Root 4) With Philander unable to bowl till 2.30, Morkel comes back on to try and nab Root early on. When he drops short and wide, Root flays him for four with an upper cut.

An email from David Wall, picking up on 13:27. “The alberne, seitliche Kurz-Bein-Position? Is that in the Karma Sutra?”

23rd over: England 65-2 (Cook 35, Root 0) That early lunch did its job, dispatching the clouds. But lunch can also mess with the concentration, and Westley, after playing so well, finally looks like the debutant he is. One more wicket and South Africa will feel they’re well on top.

Shame. Westley goes too hard at an outswinger and gives a simple catch to second slip.

Back to the German class.“As a resident of Germany,” muses Thomas Whiteley, “I believe it behoves me to come up with a better germanified version of silly square leg than proffered so far. I believe a degree of discretion is required to depart from mere literal translation, therefore I would go for alberne, seitliche Kurz-Bein-Position.”

Another email from Bob O’Hara, who’s had almost as good a morning as Tom Wesley, despite being called O’Mara at one point. “I’ve used harmonic scalpels a few times,” says Bob. “They’re great for cutting up fairy cakes into fifths.”

Meanwhile, back in the language lab...“I’m sorry to be pernickety here,” says Edward Ruston, “but the German language demands it.” Oh all right then. “Unfortunately you can’t squeeze adjectives into a compound noun, so I’d have to correct Richard Mansell’s and Kim Thonger’s super effort into ‘dummes, kurzes, quadratisches Bein’ – but this not very convincing alternative might be worth a shout: Das Dummheitskürzevierecksbein. Much better German would be: Die viereckige Kurzbeinalbernheit (square short-leg silliness).”

Any minute now, Steve Hudson and his harmonic scalpel will be trending. He pops up again. “Please tell Yves Tixier,” he asks, “that a rongeur is a strongly constructed instrument with a sharp-edged, scoop-shaped tip, used for gouging out bone. Similar to a Philander inswinger, in other words.”

The harmonic scalpel seems to be catching the imagination. “I was thrilled to read Steve Hudson’s note that the harmonic scalpel simultaneously cuts and cauterizes tissue,” writes David Hopkins, “as this I think means that a harmonic scalpel is in effect a light sabre. We all know that NHS doctors are heroes, now we find that they’re Jedi Knights as well.”

A study in contrasts from Dileep Premachandran, the former editor of Wisden India, who emails from Sri Lanka. “Seems like you have a proper old-fashioned stoush on at the Oval. Here in Galle, we’ve had Test cricket on speed, with India rattling up 600 in just four and a half sessions, and then taking five wickets before stumps. Shikhar Dhawan made 190 before tea on the first day. 190! I can remember Tests in the 1980s when teams didn’t make that in a day.”

Our language class continues with an email from Yves Tixier, somewhere in France, picking up on Steve Hudson’s erudite note in the 13th over. “Rongeurs? Rongeurs means rodents, in French. Do doctors really use rodents to probe? I thought only (some) patients did that.”

And Steve himself is back. “Please pass a message on to Richard Mansell [20th over]. The Harmonic scalpel is a surgical instrument used to simultaneously cut and cauterize tissue. Unlike electrosurgery, the harmonic scalpel uses ultrasonic vibrations instead of electric current to cut and cauterize tissue. [citation needed]. Doesn’t everyone know this?”

... before it has started. Only in England.

So that’s an early lunch, with England 62-1 and the happier of the two teams after losing Jennings so early. Cook has played like a proper elder statesman, determined to show everyone what Test cricket is; Westley has been highly promising as the old craftsman’s apprentice. South Africa started well but then lost their rhythm, not helped by a week off and the tummy bug that has struck the master Philander.

The umpires take the players off, but it’s quite bright by south-London standards, and in no time they’re back.

22nd over: England 62-1 (Cook 34, Westley 24) Rabada hands Westley a nice little gift on middle-and-leg, so he helps himself to a couple. Cook does something similar and that’s the 50 partnership, off a patient 112 balls. England are benefiting not just from the Essex connection, but from the eternal bonus of a left-and-right combination.

More from Tom Bowtell, our first-names correspondent. “In the name of nomenclatural fairness, should probably note that Roland-Jones is also the first Test-playing Toby for any team ever – and Malan is likewise Test cricket’s first Dawid.”

21st over: England 56-1 (Cook 31, Westley 22) Morris continues, swings one sharply in, and Westley clips it just over the man at square leg for four. “The only way is Essex,” says Nasser Hussain, a touch smugly.

In the greatest-Oval-Test debate, Shankar Mony nominates a fresh candidate. “Another great Oval finish – not sure if the entire match was as memorable, there being a Boycott century and all that – was the Aug 1979 Test between India and England. India were set 438 to win, and completely unexpectedly got to 366-1 before collapsing to 429-8, doing scant justice to Gavaskar’s marvellous 221. Pity that.”

20th over: England 51-1 (Cook 30, Westley 18) Cook keeps Rabada out and pinches a single, leaving Wesley, after a run of dots, to ease a two into the covers. His composure has been something to behold. Meanwhile, a slo-mo replay of the review shows Morris saying, “WHAT?”

Richard Mansell joins the conversation from the 14th over. “I think Kim Thonger (if that is even a real name) has missed a trick: the German for short square leg would present a wonderful opportunity for the German compound noun, thus dummekurzequadratischebein.

19th over: England 48-1 (Cook 29, Westley 16) Morris still hasn’t quite found his radar, but he has found some swing and he does make things happen. The ball he reviewed was coming back in and hitting leg stump. Westley, facing him for the first time today, almost inside-edges on to the stumps.

For LBW against Cook, playing inside a full ball from Morris. Saved by a nick.

18th over: England 47-1 (Cook 28, Westley 16) Rabada and Westley stage an instant re-enactment of the 16th over, perhaps unaware that re-enactments are supposed to involve drama.

“Morning Tim.” Morning, Brian Withington. “Liking the emerging theme of international cricket diplomacy started with your 6th-over reference to the German Chancellor’s mean bowling. One or two others spring to mind - captain May guilty of an overly optimistic early declaration; and that living advert for a political DRS, one Donald Trump (mystery spinner and flat-track bully).”

17th over: England 47-1 (Cook 28, Westley 16) After a sleepy start, Extras are warming to the task. Morris follows up that wide with a near-wide that goes for two byes. Cook, who made 24 off his first 33 balls, has added only four off the last 29, which will bother him not a jot.

16th over: England 45-1 (Cook 28, Westley 16) A maiden from Rabada to Wesley, the one rusty, the other wary.

And here comes a mildly indignant email from Karen Klomp. “Has anyone pointed out yet that the 100th Test Match at the Oval was played in 2011? This is the 106th one, as no-one seems to remember that England Women played 6 Test matches here between 1937 (with the amazing Eileen Whelan who at 105 rang the bell at Lord’s last Sunday) and 1976 (2 wins, 4 draws, if you’re interested).

15th over: England 44-1 (Cook 28, Westley 16) Faf du Plessis aborts his experiment with spin and turns to Chris Morris, who bounced Cook out when they last met. Morris starts with a wide – a proper wide wide, in the great tradition of Steve Harmison, who happens to be at the Oval today. A maiden, mainly because Cook barely had to play the ball. The bowling figures come up on the screen, and Philander’s are resplendent: 4-3-2-1.

14th over: England 44-1 (Cook 28, Westley 16) Rabada mixes it up to Cook, who contents himself with a single. And that’s drinks, with honours even at this early stage. It’s been quietly fascinating.

An email from Kim Thonger. “I do have a few words of German, although I rarely use them in the right order, and I don’t know a word for slow steady attack. But it’s always struck me that fielding positions would sound awfully jolly in German. Silly short square leg for example might be something like ‘dumme kurze quadratische bein’, which has a lovely cadence, don’t you think?” Hard to argue.

13th over: England 43-1 (Cook 27, Westley 16) Spin! On comes Maharaj for an exploratory over. Westley plays an expansive cover drive to reach double figures, and a whipped on drive for four more. He is looking the part.

An email from Steve Hudson, picking up on the 8th over. “To be pedantic, doctors don’t use stethoscopes to probe things. A better comparison might be a scalpel, a lancet, a drill bit, rasps, trocars, a ligasure, an harmonic scalpel, surgical scissors, or rongeurs.” That is the acceptable face of pedantry.

12th over: England 35-1 (Cook 27, Westley 8) Rabada makes one fly through to de Kock, which leads Warne to wonder if it’s a two-paced pitch rather than a slow one. When he pitches it up more, Rabada beats Cook’s prod. The cameras find Sir John Major, who now seems like a representative of a golden age of sanity and wisdom.

11th over: England 35-1 (Cook 27, Westley 8) Morkel continues and almost gets Cook with a beauty that straightens on off stump, takes the edge, pops up, lands safely. On another day, that would have gone down gully’s throat; here, it goes for two. Morkel beats Cook too, but Cook escapes with a nudged single. Westley then survives a loud appeal for LBW, saved by a nick.

An email from Tom Bowtell. “Historic day: Westley is the first Tom to appear for England since Graveney’s last cover drive back in June 1969. You Tims have had endless Bresnans, Ambroses and Curtises (Curti?) during this time.” Endless? They hardly played. And we had Tim Henman too.

10th over: England 32-1 (Cook 24, Westley 8) Rabada replaces Philander, who may be changing ends. Cook gets a couple of freebies on leg stump and hits one of them for a crisp four. “He looks in the zone,” says Shane Beard. “A lot calmer today.”

On email, Gareth Fitzgerald picks up the Oval baton. “I loved the 1997 Ashes Test, even though it was a dead rubber. Phil Tufnell spinning England to victory. A recalled Mark Ramprakash scoring a crucial 48 in the second innings, when the guy he replaced had been criticised for scoring meaningless second-innings runs. Devon Malcolm opening the bowling and pinning Matt Elliot straight away in the second innings, and Andy Caddick going all show pony. IIRC in the first innings Tuffers got Mark Waugh, one of the most stylish batsmen I ever saw, with an absolute jaffa.”

9th over: England 27-1 (Cook 19, Westley 8) Westley keeps Merkel out, then glances him for four. His first 20 minutes as an international cricketer have gone well.

On email, John Starbuck is back for a second spell, picking up on Bob O’Hara’s quip from the 6th over. “Given Merkel’s reputation, there’s surely a single word in German for slowly wearing down the opposition with a steady, controlled attack. Probably ‘vernonphilander’.”

8th over: England 23-1 (Cook 19, Westley 4) In Philander’s hands, the ball becomes a sort of stethoscope. He probes away at Cook, who blocks, and leaves, and blocks, and leaves, and finally nudges for two – the first runs Philander has conceded this morning.

In other news, Shane Warne has grown a beard, which looks as if he bought it in a joke shop.

7th over: England 21-1 (Cook 17, Westley 4) Go Westley! He’s off the mark with a handsome clip for four off Morkel, sweetly timed through square leg. And when Morkel bounces him, he sees it early and ducks decisively. It must help that he’s used to batting with Cook, unlike so many of the top-order batsmen England have summoned in the past three years.

6th over: England 17-1 (Cook 17, Westley 0) Cook, faced with Philander, shows Jennings what to play, what to leave, and how to wander out to short leg to fill the time between deliveries.

A tweet from Bob O’Hara. “Please don’t correct your typo in over 3.” Typo? Moi? “The image it gives of international diplomacy is one to savour. @Cricket_Germany” Nice one.

5th over: England 17-1 (Cook 17, Westley 0) England attempt a single, for the first time today, and it goes rather well: Cook pushes into the covers, there’s a shy at the stumps, nobody backs up, so that’s five for the price of one. Westley, facing Morkel for the first time, produces a solid forward defensive.

A tweet from David Pearce. “Best Oval Test undoubtedly 1976. 291 from Viv Richards in his pomp, 14 wickets for Holding, 203 for Dennis Amiss. Unmatchable.” And England used six slow bowlers.

4th over: England 12-1 (Cook 12, Westley 0) Jennings wafts at Philander and is lucky not to get a snick. Then he tries to be more circumspect, and gets the snick anyway. He looks as if his confidence is shot. Tom Westley, on debut, takes the hint and shows more purpose in defence.

An email from John Starbuck. “Tim, I just heard that this pitch is one of the most moist (apologies to Rob Smyth, if he’s reading, for the use of this bugbear word) they’ve known. The batsmen will have to lump it, as ever, but does this influence the bowling selections?” Well, yes. It’s part of the reason why England don’t feel they need the second spinner.

Oh dear. Jennings hangs the bat out at Philander’s stock ball and gives some gentle catching practice to Elgar. That’s dismal.

3rd over: England 12-0 (Cook 12, Jennings 0) Cook goes forward to cover-drive Morkel for four, then back to tuck him for four more. Textbook stuff. Merkel retorts with a shorter ball, in at the groin; if it hurts, Cook isn’t going to show it. To the last ball, which is quicker, Cook ends up playing French cricket.

2nd over: England 4-0 (Cook 4, Jennings 0) Keaton Jennings, badly in need of some runs, has to face Vernon Philander, the artist in this South African team. He keeps him out, rather uncertainly. The early feeling is that England will do well to get to lunch with only two down.

A tweet from Paddy Blewer. “Oval has created some brilliant #cricket moments. 2005 is cliché. Viv’s last test with Tuffers and Syd Lawrence was brilliant.” Ah yes, 1991, great entertainment. But that’s a bit hard on 2005: in sport, a contest only becomes a cliché if it’s a classic.

1st over: England 4-0 (Cook 4, Jennings 0) Morne Morkel gets the ball rolling – and bouncing, and seaming. His first delivery is a lifter that Alastair Cook can easily leave; the second is on the spot, blocked on off stump; the third moves away and beats the bat. The fourth takes the edge, as Cook gets forward: it squirts through the vacant fourth slip to the equally vacant third man. That streaky four takes Cook past Allan Border on the list of all-time Test run-makers.

This is like the Nineties, when the selection of the England team was one long argument in the pub, never to be resolved. Here’s Mike Daniels: “Can’t help feeling that Chris Evans’ email criticising Trevor Bayliss and the approach of the batters is off the mark. He is working with who is selected and the team are a young group who are aggressive with the bat. If that’s what you’ve got to work with then the way to go is to refine their approach. That takes time and experience of failure. Anyway - shouldn’t Chris be somewhere else earning that £2m+ rather than emailing here?”

And here’s Jonathan Taylor, who sets a fine example by saying where he is (Montrose, in Scotland). “So the England batsmen fail to perform & a bowler gets dropped... Same old, Same old. What happens if they fail again? Drop Broad (granted he gets slower by the session) & after that Anderson? Pretty soon it will 10 batsmen & a bowler.”

The Oval’s 100-Test history is being celebrated on Sky. It’s lovely lyrical stuff: oh my Holding and my Malcolm long ago.

Meanwhile, on email, here’s the familiar figure of Tom van der Gucht. “This series reminds me of England v South Africa in 2003 – Vaughan was kicking off his own captaincy whilst scrabbling round for a balanced line-up by firing out Test caps to a variety of untried colts and solid county pros in the hope of hitting the jackpot. I wonder which of Dawson, Malan, Jennings, Roland-Jones, Ballance and Westley will be the 2017 equivalents of Anthony McGrath, Martin Bicknell, Ed Smith, Kirtley and Kabir Ali...”

The first email of the Test comes from Chris Evans. “This England team always has the potential to make me look foolish,” he reckons, “but I’m going to nail my colours to the mast regardless. I feel that the team is in a similar position to the ODI team under Moores in 2015 (bear with me). The personnel is largely right but the approach to the game is wrong. It seems to me that all the batters are told to go out and attack and look to score quickly. Its hard to do that consistently in Tests. Bayliss would seem to prefer 400 all out after 100 overs to 600 after 180. I think the players in the team are capable of playing each ball on its merits but the word from above is to always look to score. Maybe this is why Haseeb looked so good in India as his game doesn’t involve just walloping the ball around. He left the wide ones, blocked the straight ones and took the runs on offer.” It’s a sign of Haseeb’s class, and England’s confusion, that they are missing him, and he’s only 20.

Joe Root concedes that “it does look a little bit green” but has no hesitation in opting to bat. So far in this series, the team batting first has won easily.

After the first Test, it took the England selectors five minutes to name an unchanged side – which duly got hammered. The South African management may have had much the same experience here, with Rabada a shoo-in to return in place of Olivier. Expected team: Elgar, Kuhn, Amla, de Kock, du Plessis, Bavuma, Philander, Morris, Rabada, Maharaj, Morkel.

England leave out Liam Dawson and bring in Dawid Malan. So it’s three debuts, five bowlers not six, and eight batsmen rather than seven, with England dropping the pretence that Moeen is the second spinner and shunting him (presumably) back down to No.8. Full team: Cook, Jennings, Westley, Root, Malan, Bairstow, Stokes, Moeen, Roland-Jones, Broad, Anderson. I suspect it’s the first time England have picked three beginners alongside three veterans of a hundred Tests.

Morning everyone and welcome to the third Test. It could take a very long time, there will be moments when nothing seems to be happening, and The Guardian will bring you every little twist and turn – yes, it’s basically Love Island all over again. Will the winning couple be the early favourites, Joe and Mo, or the flavour of the fortnight, Vernon and Morne?

This Test is the 100th at The Oval, the scene of the very first Test in England in 1880. In five-day cricket, the Oval has two signature dishes – the low-scoring gripper and the high-scoring bore. In a perfect world, this match will be a medium-scoring gripper that ends with the side batting last nine wickets down and five short of victory. That way, we get a thrilling finish here and a series decider at Old Trafford next week.

Tim will be here shortly. Joe Root has confirmed that Toby Roland-Jones will make his Test debut, replacing the injured Mark Wood:

“Toby has been really good in practice and he has obviously had a fine couple of years and it is a very exciting time, as it is for anyone who makes their Test debut. I’m really excited for him and I’m sure he’s desperate to show everyone what he can do with the red ball for England.”

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